Soder - 127: PCP with Eric André | Soder Podcast | EP 125

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

Support the sponsors to support the show!Our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pairs of prescription glasses at WarbyParker.com/SODER — using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #adhttps://www.warbyparker.com/?&wpsrc=Podcast&singular=59085_2026Q1?utm_campaign=2026Q1&utm_content=audio&utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=soderProtect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/soder Application times may vary. Rates may vary.https://www.ethos.com/?utm_source=arm&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=soderGet moving with Mack Weldon. Comfortable anywhere. Go to MackWeldon.com and get 20% off your first order of $125 or more, with promo code DAN. That’s MackWeldon.com code DANhttps://mackweldon.com/The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city!Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tourApril 4 - Huntington,NY - 2 shows 7pm & 9:30April 10 - Charlotte,NCApril 11 - Durham,NCApril 17 - Munhall,PAApril 18 - Cleveland,OHApril 19 - Columbus,OHApril 24 - Larchwood,IAFollow Eric Andréhttps://www.instagram.com/ericfuckingandre/?hl=enhttps://x.com/ericandre?lang=enhttps://open.spotify.com/show/2RwrjomuHqHkmTsDE3e6cuPLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572Connect with SoderTwitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoderInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoderTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoderYoutube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy#dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcastProduced by  Mike Lavin     https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

And Dangerfield's tie? Yeah, Pete Davidson gave me that. That's sick. I think his podcast. It's like actually his. There's like a certificate. What a specific thing. Yeah, well, he thinks I do, uh, do an impression of, uh, Rodney Dangerfield.

That's probably better. Did you, you, in your fiance? Like, when were we talking about? What timeline? I still have my house in L.A. I'm going there Tuesday. Okay. So you just do both?

I do like winter in L.A. And then the other. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. I try to. That's like some shit that like, what the fuck I'm doing? Like 20 years ago, it was only like CEOs that were like, I winter in L.A. Oh, no.

My, my L.A. place is cheap. Yeah? My mortgage is $2,900 a month. That's fucking not bad at all. Yeah, yeah. How long have you been in that place? 10 years, 11 years. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you like being out there at all? I've never. Yeah, it feels like when you come in your fiancee. Yeah, yeah. I got that. I'm just joking. Yeah, yeah.

Fucking a horrendous thing to say to an adult. Yeah. Oh, I definitely don't like it. Hey, everybody. Thanks for watching the show. We got a good one with Eric Andre, who was very fun to hang out with once he stopped goading me. Have fun watching this episode, though. Eric Andre is the fucking man. Check him out. But also, I'm on the road. This Saturday got a late show at the Paramount in Huntington, New York. We added a 930 show, Dan Soder.com, for those tickets. And then Charlotte, North Carolina. Carolina. I will see you April 10th and then Durham, North Carolina. I'm going to see you the 11th. Also coming up, we've got Munhall, Pennsylvania. They tried to call that Pittsburgh. We got Cleveland, Ohio. We got Columbus, Ohio, and we got Grand Falls, Lassino and Larchwood, Iowa.

Those are the remaining dates on the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. The tickets are now at SandSoter.com and also the podcast is right now. Thank you for watching. This is a good exercise for me because you're one of the guys that's comfortable being naked. And I would say that is probably... You are too. No, I'm not. That's not true.

How do you know? Would you shower with your clothes on? Yes. Every day. You're a never nude? I wore this in the shower. I'm a never nude. You never...

It didn't take a thing to get you free that being naked all the time. You just grew up being like... I grew up being naked. Yeah? Yeah. I feel like there was something... I mean, my friends, I mean my friends, you know, like... Would you just get naked around?

You're like, you're the comedy of your friend group, and then just one of you decides to do it professionally. But yours was getting naked. Mine was eating stuff for money. Like cigarette butts? Yeah, those are the two... Those are the two paths in the world. I mean, my friends got naked, too.

See, my friends never got naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a joke. It was like a joke. at shows and stuff you know you read out chili peppers were putting their socks on their cocks and you're going to punk shows

and people are getting naked at the show as a bit yeah when I bumped into that it was way too late and I was like yeah why the fuck is your dick are you doing it now? No. Oh well you bumped into that

what do you mean when I started hanging when that was a joke with a certain group you'd be like oh fuck you were too you were too I was already too buttoned up I was already too like why the fuck you get naked or you're like a diehard Nuggets fan you have like obscure

Nuggets players from the 90s? Yeah, I'm from Denver, so I like the nuggets. But you root for the Giants? My family's from the Bay Area. I'm all over the place. You're fucking complex, man. I got layers. I couldn't tell you a single one of these guys. Who was on the Nuggets? Dekembe Matumbo? Yeah, hell yeah. See, you did it?

That's the only one from that era that I know. Yeah, no one did, though. They weren't that good. So no one cared. I saw them beat my heat. I was at that game. Really? Yeah. That was a fun. I never thought we would ever win a championship. That's awesome. That's why, because no one cares but i can name you heat players

harold minor harold minor yeah harold minor ronnie cycley well you guys took tim hardaway that's what stopped me from being a warriors hard away because i was a warriors fan because my loneso morning yeah dude alonzo in that famous giff him of him shrugging on the sidelines and then being like you've seen that one reason i don't know oh where he you've never seen that one well he's got a dialysis machine i think of yeah i don't think that's the fucking I don't think there's a dialysis gif of fucking Alonzo morning.

I'm talking about him sitting on the bench and accepting that they're losing. What kind of fucking psycho goes, yeah, your favorite player? Remember him in the hospital? That favorite, that famous giff of him? What the fuck are you talking about? Fuck, get out of here. Act like that naked shit's normal. Fuck you.

Fucking weirdos showing your dicks to each other and act like I'm the abnormal one. Fucking knock you out. We were getting in trouble. Yeah. We were getting in trouble. Nah, fucking. We were doing the bunk shows and getting in trouble in Florida, in like, warehouses in Florida.

Florida I could see. But that's crazy because people go to Florida to be naked. Oh, yeah, you think so? There's like a lot of fucking swings. You're more naked than you think. I hope so. I would fucking hope so. You got kids?

No. They're naked. No, I said I don't have them. But yeah, kids are there. You will have them. No, I'm not. I'm not doing it. You're doing it.

You be a good dad. People say that. People say that as the way to win. You have a dad energy. It's because I didn't have one. I had to be my own. Where's your dad? Dead?

Ben in the ground. When did he pass? When did he pass? That sucks. It's not cool. It's not funny. How'd he die? Cerosis.

He was a drinker. No one goes cirrhosis and he goes, nah, man, just in the sun too much. Yeah. Dude fucking, his whole liver kicked. It, uh, I don't want to have kids. That's a tough way to go. Do you want kids? No, I'm getting a vasectomy.

Me too. But you told her that? Yeah. She's got to be bummed. She's got to be bummed. No. We had a conversation. She's stoked?

We had a conversation about having kids and we were like, we're not doing it. And so then fucking... A departive heard once. No. We've had long conversation. Long talks. Yeah, we have aunt and uncle energy. I'm a great uncle.

That's how I feel. Yeah. I don't fucking want to fuck somebody up. It seems like a lot. Yeah, I don't want to fuck somebody up. I also don't. And then they resent you. I don't want to bring a kid in.

And then you're like, fuck, I tried. Like, I'm sorry. That's exactly it. Yeah. I told, honestly, the conversation. was like I don't want that pressure. I got there's enough. I have enough anxiety.

I could imagine. Imagine adding more anxiety to the current load. And some people will call you selfish, but then you go, I know. I'm being selfish if I have the kid. That's what I think. And I also think. I can adopt when I'm 90. Exactly.

The conversation, also if you go be successful and you do want to have kids and you adopt kid, you take a kid from zero to 60. That kid has a way better life. They has fucking financial stability. Yeah, they're fucking Annie. Your, your daddy war. Exactly. You guys would be Daddy Warbuck. Yeah.

We had a conversation where it was like, I'm going to stay on the road the rest of my career because I do stand-up. There's not going to be... You don't know. That AI is going to replace your job. They're going to have AI stand-ups. They are. I mean, they're already doing it.

No, no. They're already doing it. They don't have AI stand-up, do they? They did... They did George Cartland. And the Tom Brady. Well, that was both dudesy. That was like Will Saso being funny.

And people got mad about it. I don't know. What do you mean? It was Will Sassow's podcast, dudesy. that did the... What's Doodzy? Why do you keep saying Doodzy? That's the name of his podcast?

Yeah. Oh, oh. It's the name of their podcast was Doodzy. And he was, he did a George Carlin and a Tom Brady special. Uh, special. I heard the George Carlin one. They did it also with Tom Brady. And people thought Tom Brady did a real special.

Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, but you can't go on the road and be live. No. With AI. Yeah. So that's why you're going to road dog it. Well, yeah, I'd like doing stand up and you got to, stay on the road where you going next Orlando Florida

where you plan the plaza theater nice maybe I did the improv there and fucking bombed oh no it was a tough weekend you gotta come on my podcast I got a bombing podcast you just talk about bombing yeah that's it did you bomb still you don't bomb still I bombed like the other day

at New York comedy club doing what naked I was butt naked jerking off into the audience fucking butt buttes that might be a problem. I came into the crowd. Yeah, that's crowdwork.

That's the crowdwork I want to see. Is that working you? Fucking waxed darts into the fucking crowd. You fucking hitting pop flies to the audience. What's the worst bomb you ever had? I think the other night, man. I fucking stunk it up. I've been like stinking it up lately.

On purpose? No, no, not at all. So you're going to... I've been... I kind of quit doing stand-up and then I was like... Like when the Eric Andre's show started, everything that I was doing in my stand-up was satisfied creatively more through the Eric Andre show. Yeah. And I like slowly kind of weaned off stand-up.

And that I did. I started doing it again. And Netflix offered me money for a special. I started doing it like really pet the pavement and going on the road hardcore. And then I did my Netflix special. I finished editing it February 2020, delivered it. Then COVID hit. Then after COVID.

I was like, I don't really want to do stand-up anymore. I want to focus on television and film. Which makes sense because you were off the road, no one had to do stand-up. Yeah. That makes complete sense. I was burnt out on it, and I was like,

I'd rather focus my creative energy. And if I'm writing all day or filming or, like, by the time I've been thinking about comedy for 12 hours, I don't really feel like doing stand-up. So I would go to the stand or, or New York Comedy Club or a show in Brooklyn. or something and I just didn't have the same I was here in my early 20s and I had all I had was

like um just I was full of piss and vinegar in those days you know what I mean like you're just hungry for it and that's all you could do that's all I had access to yeah but now I'm I'm like returning to it and I feel like an unfrozen caveman so I'm trying new jokes but uh I'm stinking it up out there I now I like I'm doing the louis CK thing where you jerk off at work. No, where you, uh, it's effective. It is very effective. No, he told me like, he goes, start out with the, and he says it's publicly like, start out with like the, a tried and true joke. Start, start with an old joke that works just to get your footing. Yeah. So the audience can, like, put their shoulders down and go, okay, this guy's, uh, has jokes at

work. Yeah. And then do the, and then, and then walk without a tightrope. Before I ever got LASIC, I was a glasses guy. I was, uh, I wore glasses from the time I was, uh, I wore glasses from the time I was 16 up until 35 when I got LASIC and the place I would always go is Warby Parker. Why? Well, I'm going to tell you how it really happened is my fashionable friend was like, you have been to Warby Parker. You can see an optometrist in the store and also pick out great frames. And then I went and the frames were unbelievable.

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slash Soter. E-T-H-O-S-com slash soda. Application times may vary, rates may vary. I was, the other night when I bombed, I just was like, only new material that I hadn't even said out loud

and I was like, forgetting half the fucking bed. I was like, shit, uh, you guys ever, fuck, uh, wait a minute.

Do you ever, do the thing where you think the riff is going to take you and then you go up there and the, and the first thing you say, bombs and then it just completely That was that was the other night. I like I remember doing that. I was on the road with Nate fucking like 15 years ago

and he watched me do that and he went you committed the thing where you thought the riff was going to open up everything and then you bombed. No, yeah. Because you miss on that one and then you just go like fuck. The very first open mic I ever did in New York City I'd been doing comedy a year in Boston and college. I was 20, 21 years old was with Nate.

Burgazzi. That was the first open mic you did? I moved to New York like a couple years after 9-11. It was 2004. Okay. September or October of 2004, I was finishing college. I was interning at Matador Records downtown. That's awesome.

For my, because I was a music business major at Berkeley and fucking I was doing an open mic and I was like, I told everybody at work like, I'm going to do this open mic in New York City. I think this is like, I thought I was going to be like on stage, like on stage in front of 3,000 people. That's what you're imagine. in every open mic, every person that imagines an open mic imagines that it's a sold out theater and there's like red curtains on and that a guy over the god

mic brings you up when you don't know. It is one of the saddest experiences of your life. You are in a room with people that don't want to hear you talk. This was even worse and this was like... This looked like a where like our budd wire committed suicide. It was like... If this is going to upset you

you should leave. You're like with a fucking gun. It's my favorite part of that whole video, no one talks about. He pulls out the gun and he goes, if this is going to upset you, he needs to leave. What a good way to kill yourself. What a crazy thing to say. Before you shoot yourself publicly on the news. Oh my God. So, so me and Nate and a couple other comics, it was the yellow open mic. It was comedy soapbox recommended yellow open mic, which was an unfortunate name of a Chinese bar in Chinatown. Oh, fucking. Yeah. It was called the yellow bar. I didn't come up

with the name and it was it was in the basement it wasn't even where people drank it was in the basement with fluorescent lighting carpet and um like uncomfortable church chairs and it was just me and nate and two other comics at like 4 30 in the afternoon performing for each other yeah and i was like comics are the worst audience i was like this is hell this is hell on earth what is the point of this i started in tucson at a club called laughs and what they would do is the It was smart what they did. They'd do the open mic from 7 to 8 p.m. And then there'd be a pro show at 8 p.m.

So if you went on late in the open mic, you were going on in front of people. Yeah. You were going on. It might have been like 60 people on a Thursday night, but you were going on. Yeah. Then I moved here and I went to like the pit open mic.

Yeah. Or something. I think Stand Up New York was the first open mic I went to. Oh, yeah. And I was like, I went a lot too. I was like, this is. This is rough. This is rough.

This is rough. And then also. Also, the amount of mentally ill people in New York City that do stand. Oh, yeah. It's like tenfold more than anywhere else. Maybe L.A. it's close. Oh, I don't know. New York is stuck in up there.

Yeah. We just want to rant. Yeah. So you'd watch people. Yeah. And I learned how to diagnose schizophrenia faster than I learned how to get on a show. By being a New York open mic or you're just like, well, this person's clearly out of their fucking mind.

That's always why the Brooklyn scene intimidated me. Because when I would go to like Union Hall or one of those venues, everyone, even if they were faking it, seemed so comfortable on stage. That's why I was like, like part of that like shit always blew my, Rafii was a place you'd go and watch people and be like, they're all so comfortable doing this. I feel like a fucking fraud. Oh, really? I felt like they were like a private school. Really? You felt like that?

Yeah, I felt totally not. Because you're coming from the punk scene in Florida, which is like, they were in, they were like, they were like, they were like. like private school dandies that were like so uh incestuous and i like i felt like i wasn't part of the cool club i was yeah that's how i what's weird is i felt the same but for a different reason yeah i felt like i was like loud and fucking yeah rambunctious and and and it was like cool to be uh very like monotone yeah like the office and like very like it was cool to be like like uh I don't know, fucking mousy and indie. Yeah.

And looking down at your shoes and kicking around. Yeah, shoegazy. I was not that at all. I was like bad brains. So, like, those motherfuckers did not like me at all. I never felt like I belong to that. But the punk thing makes so much sense. When did you get into punk music?

Like, very young. 12, yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah. Middle school. Is this shit that, like, clicked for you where you were like the first time you heard bad brains or like, what were your favorite bands? What were your favorite bands?

You're like making cassette tape mixes for your first. friends? Yeah. Punk band specifically or any band? Just like punk bands. Punk bands? Because I was too big of a pussy for punk. No.

I think I heard that and I was like, these guys are fucking nuts. To the nude thing. Yeah. These guys are nuts. I was too, I was like, these guys are fucking.

What are you listening to? Phil Collins. Dude, I'm not going to lie. When you're a child. No jacket required. When you're a child of an alcoholic, this is what I'm talking about.

Were your parents divorced? Yeah, but they both drank. Oh, your mom drank too. Yeah, but she was listening to Bonnie, right? And then I was going out to California with my dad in the Bay Area And he was getting fucked up to Buffet And like wow

What did your parents meet? San Francisco in the 7th? What were they doing? My mom worked in insurance. My dad was a bartender and he just, they had me They broke up, my dad went back to the bay, my mom was in Colorado. So you split up your time. Yeah.

Oh, that's why you're in Nuggets in a giant store. Yeah, I picked the nuggets because they traded Tim Hardaway to the heat. I was a Warriors fan. And then they traded Tim Hardaway and I was like, you know, fuck that. He's going to the heat. And then I had... You abandoned. Well, I'd had no teams in Denver.

And I'm like fighting kids on the playground because I'm like, the 49ers are way better than the Bronx. So you split your time going back and forth? Yeah, yeah. That's tough. Yeah, it was... I mean, I flew a lot as a kid. So the travel is a comedian doesn't bother.

Where's your friend group? Denver. Because that's where I went to school. Oh, so summers you would be with that. Summer or winter. I was on a... And dad was like glug, glug, glug. All the time.

What was his... What was his rum, whiskey? Bacardi and Coke. I'm a big rum guy. sleep a cardi and a splash of a coat and get after it. Yeah. But then he moved. Do you think he was, had depression? I think he was an alcoholic, maybe. He was probably depression. Did your grandpa have alcoholism? Yeah, whole family did. Oh, so it's like in the blood. Yeah, that's, I quit 13 years ago. So you were, you were hitting the fucking sauce back in the day. I used to know you. I was fucking booze.

You were saucy. I was fucking kidding. I remember we did an outside show and I showed up like 30 minutes late blackout. Half in the bag. Yeah. There's a picture of me, you and East Waters. Let me see. You gotta look it up. Let me see if I could find it. What was your drink of choice? You're Knob Creek guy.

I would a, no, I was a Jameson with a beer back. I used to like to do. Boiler makers? I used to, yeah. Yeah, I used to do like, not drop in. I would do a shot and then have a beer. Let me see if I can get all the way back to, I don't think it's on this phone. I'm trying to drink and do more drugs.

Oh, why? You want to get, you want to go. I never had like a bad period with it. You never did? No. I like, I kind of was a fucking little chicken about it. But see, that's crazy to me, because to me, the punk music thing, to me, was more braver than getting fucked up. I thought, really?

Yeah, like, you go into shows and, like, fucking, like, like, crowd surfing or getting naked and being crazy. Like, you guys are spitting on each other and throwing each other to sit. Yeah, we're just joking around. I know. It's the same way you joke around. I know. But I didn't realize that. To me, it was like, scary.

I was like, God, these guys beat each other up. I never did heroin. I would have loved to. I think if I would have done it. I want to do it once before I die. Me too. I'm not in a syringe. I would smoke it or storm.

You would? I would want the full. You want to do the syringe? I would have somebody. I would have to have a nurse like a registered nurse that knows how to administer a syringe. I'm going to set it up. We're both going to be like 81. I want to smoke crack too.

Well, you have to, that's how you have to pull out of it. It's the heroin down, crack out, and then you die. That's a fucking way to, that's a way to fucking go out. High five gone on the way out. That's, that's interesting to me because I never. thought like everybody I know had a problem with drugs or alcohol yeah most people I grew up with everyone had a moment yeah I'm from Florida yeah yeah my friends in high school are dead so did you see that and you're like I'm not fucking with that I'm just not gonna uh I just did drugs in moderation

and I didn't do um opiates do you not have like an addictive personality at all no my parents didn't really drink that much drinks a little bit yeah but they have like social drinks drinks, right? Like once every... Yeah, my dad rarely drank. I always loved that when I would go to a friend's house and they'd be like, my dad had a couple beers and you're like, yeah, that's how they move.

It's how they operate. And they're like, no, they don't. And like to watch someone, that's always, that's one of the reasons I started noticing I really had a problem was I'd go to weddings and people would expect me to get like really fucked up. And I was like, were you drinking in the morning? Sometimes.

Were you drinking every day? No. Oh, yeah, every day. Every night. For sure. That's how I got through the open mics in New York. Was they would pin you and drink tickets. I'm the guys that that works on.

Yeah, that's not because you got it in, you got it from your dad. You got it in the blood. Yeah, it's in my blood. My aunt was a crackhead and she, like, told me because she got sober.

You know, in Europe, you couldn't drink water. You had to drink alcohol. That was also in like the old West. Beer, beer was like. You like, like alcoholism and alcoholics were the only ones that would survive.

Because they'd kill. Oh, really? You couldn't drink water. in Europe, my friends are like, my friend is like, if you, my friend, Simon, he's Jewish, but he was like, Europeans were designed to be alcoholics. You couldn't drink the water. So if you didn't have beer for two days, you would die. You would die from dehydration. That's great. So it's like, like alcoholism is like bread. It's like a, like Winston Churchill, total boozeback lived till he was 95. Because it was, I didn't even realize that. Yeah, because you couldn't

drink. I knew in the old West it was like the water was so bad. The alcohol killed it off. so you could have whiskey or beer. Yeah. And you kind of knew that was safer. You had to put whiskey in your water. You had to drink beer to drink water. That's fucking. You had to.

So like, that's something I want to read into because it's like, son of a bitch, I was born into that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Being like, you're going to be a fucking booze bag. Yeah.

Because when I was young, when we were teenagers, I thought it was like a superpower. I'm reading this book about the history of rum. And it talks about like the, how in the European cities they like had to drink alcohol because the water was so polluted, but Native Americans could drink out of lakes and glacier water.

And then when they started, when like Ben Franklin, those buffers started introducing rum and whiskey and shit. That was the... Indians were going nuts. Yeah, it's like fucking rocked. But they weren't, they weren't like bread to consume that much alcohol. It's a real good book on the Sioux and the movement of the Sioux

to like North Dakota and the Black Hills and shit. The heart of everything that is. It's about Red Cloud. And a specific... Sitting Bull and all that you. It's about like crazy horror. Custard's last day. He was involved in all that shit.

Red Cloud was like one of the only foreign generals to have like three or four victories against the U.S. Army and the history of the country. But they talked about how they used to, the Native Americans would trade for coffee was their first shit. Oh, shit. They were like, yo, what is this? That shit gets you geek.

Yeah, I want this. Yeah. Coffee, tobacco. Yeah. They would trade for tobacco. And then when they brought whiskey, they were like, fuck that other shit. I want that fire water. Yeah.

And that's when, you know, that's the corruption in the United States. in the United States was like, oh, we can just turn, we can turn them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they'll just steal their lane because they'll be drunk and disordered. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, that's fucking crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As we all are. But I didn't know it was like, it's already in my blood. Yeah, yeah. That makes a lot of fucking sense. It's also why.

It was the way to decontaminate water. Yeah, because it's easier than decontamining the water source is just going like. Well, they were just like shit and pissing in the streets. Like fucking Beethoven. in Mona Lisa. They were like, they were like pissing shit in a bucket

and just throw it out of a fucking window in Vienna. I was like, like a G.G. Allen concert everywhere you went. Oh,

but then there are people in the punk scene that are like, yeah, fuck, yeah. That's how the punk scene started. There are people outside that are like, oh,

oh, oh, move, or like your chamber pole. You just get, yeah, fucking Beethoven's just golden shower. Ben Franklin, too,

man, the more you read about him and how just, like he was just like, I want pussy and I got diseases. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was just like, he was on fire. And he was just going to the French don't complain.

And you're like, Jesus Christ. These old guys and wigs just sweating through a July. They had crazy pimples. They had those like super pimples and shit. You know about that. They had like fucked up skin and super pimples and they would like put makeup on like their fucking pores are all gone. That's like the,

they had syphilis or their brains were fucking detain. And they're the ones that they're like, The forefathers would be disappointed today. They'd be out of their fucking tits. They'd be on the streets. Or they're hammered. And they would get like a bad batch of brandy that had like methanol in it and go blind. Yeah, when you distill liquor, it's called the head.

Like the first part of it is methanol and you get rid of it. Sure. And it's the stuff in the middle of the distillation process that you drink. Sure. So you get rid of the head and the tail. But the head, you really have to get rid. You can drink the tail, but it doesn't taste good. That's like moon shine.

Like when all those people in the South go blind from moonshine is because they don't get rid of all that methanol. Yeah, you got to get rid of the methanol. Because you're just going for that sweet, sweet ethanol burn down. You're going for the sweet sweet ethanol. But then I didn't even fuck, dude, you know what's that thought of that? It's like the forefathers and super wigs and like the British judges are still rocking those fucking wigs. But like taking them off and how sweaty their heads must be.

Why do they rock those fucking wigs? And you know that the British judges, they study in the city of London, which isn't London. It's a miniature city within the middle of London that has like secret societies and weird. Like that's where those judges study and they get those fucking wings. That's when they give them that they put it all like Vader's helmet. Yeah. They press it down and they're like, you are a judge.

But what's- They look like those sheep that like, you know the sheep in New Zealand that get lost for five years and come back? They're all dreadlocked on. Dude, I used to search for those because when I was on the road and I was like, It was like cathartic to me to watch them shave down those like heavy sheep. It was like dreadlock fucking roster sheep. Yeah.

We're like, I've been out in the full forest for a long time. Brub, bra, bro, bro. I'll be a sheep no longer a lamb. I'll be a real lion. You'll shave them down. You want some mutton. I'd be, don't be giving you my chops. I'd be giving you the whole thing.

Roster sheep. Roster sheep. You'll be a cool. Don't you get lonely on the road? Yeah, all the time. Road I feel like it's isolating. It's very isolated. Especially when I'm in like Des Moines or like corn country.

That's why you bring a friend to open. Yeah. You got to bring a friend. You got to bring a friend to open. If you go by yourself, you're fucking crazy. And so I used to watch, I used to speak in a dreadlocks. I used to, it's springtime, time to put the way of the heavy layers. It's time for those breathable, durable clothes that move with you.

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Dan. I wanted to make it sound like I was recording at two different places. Dan. That's M-A-C-W-E-L-D-O-N dot com. Use code Dan. A thing I used to love was watching big beards get shaved because it was like a relief and dreadlocks getting cut off. And then you watch-

video that? You're all over YouTube. It was stinking up my algorithm for a long time. Because it looks like... I'm just watching Puerto Rican thinkies like try out their new bikinis. like, just shaking their eyes. Look at this dude shave. And I'm watching a guy go like this.

Smooth. I got up your phone. I guess I'll jerk off to this. But you know the back to the forefathers things, not thinking of they had super pimples or that they fucking were hammered all the time. Hammer, syphilis. Everybody's like, I want to go back there and you're like, this smells. So they reeked horseshit everywhere.

New York City. Horshits everywhere. People that complain now about New York City, you go, imagine during 17th. Everybody's breath, like whiskey breath, dead teeth, horse shit. They're wearing, they're sweaty. The Canarsi Indians would pay people in like clams and oysters and shit. So they're like,

you know when they have a sack? You know how like, you know how white people love, white people love to go to like Montauk or New England and go clamming? And they go, we just had a bag and we just put the clams in the bag. That was like 1776 people are walking around in there. Just like walking around.

You're like, dude, you're fucking. fucking, don't eat those plans. And he's like, they're good, and then you're shitting in a pot. But I think about that with dinosaurs too. If you went back to when dinosaurs,

you'd like, the smells would be like, you get out of that time, any time travel, if you go back, you would just get out and be like, what the fuck is this? Dinosaurs are keeping it moving.

Like before agriculture, humans, dinosaurs, everybody's keeping it moving. So you're like shitting, but then you keep it going. There's no like city center. Sure.

You're nomadic. So you just, like, move on from the shit. Like, when you're walking through the woods and you see fucking deer shit or bear shit, you're not like, pee-you. I mean, if you put your nose in, it's going to stink. But you're like, you know, keep it moving. Yeah, but also a lot of times it's dried out so that it doesn't stink as bad. Yeah, it's when we started getting stationary.

Like, after like agriculture is invented. Yeah. That's when diseases spring up. Like. The industrial revolution made everybody sick because it was just like. You read guns, germs, and steel. It started it? Everybody.

I haven't even been able to cross. Yeah. Like, every. Everybody fucking sat still and pigs and cows were wallowing in shit. People started fucking their sheep's and getting fucking, it's true. Like pox, all the pox, small pox and all the, was all dudes fucking cheats. Yeah. Because dudes were like, look at that pussy.

My wife's annoying, but the sheep's up. Yeah. Yeah. Like people were fucking the pigs and the sheep and the cow. You react to my touch in a positive way. Not like my wife or she's like, don't maybe go through. nine months of pain again. No, I didn't even ever ride the shit on those days.

I think the sheep were like, ah, fuck. Yeah. Farmer Brown's drunk. The first two, like fucking sprawled out being like, get me away. The strength.

But all the modern, like, viruses and stuff are from agriculture. From animal, from animals, like wallowing in their shit and us eating and fucking them. Damn.

Yeah. The guy that tried to make fucking a sheep cool. You know, they're like sitting around and they go, these are very lovely cuts of meat. And he goes, well, what would you say if I told her

I had sex with this? They'd be like, they'd react like I did about getting naked. I'd be like, I don't have it. And then be like, but I'll try it later.

When I'm more comfortable, I'll try it. Well, you were the most bummed when you were talking about coming in your wife, you were like, you were like,

you were like, you were really different. I thought you'd be clicking your heels. I mean, it is the best thing. It's the greatest thing ever, but it's like, until I get,

because I have the vasecta, I'm skeptical. scheduling the vasectomy. Yeah. And so I'm thinking about, now I'm going to go. I'm thinking about how much I'm going to love it post vasectomy. Oh,

yeah. You talk about it. Then you're like, we're going to have a home run handshake. Yeah. I'm going to be like, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

Because it's going to be, it's bowling with bumpers. That I don't have to worry about. Because I think that's the worry. We're both, we're both so decided that I don't want to fuck up. That's where the nervousness is. Damn, dude.

But now I'm... Is that the big show? Yeah, dude. That's the raw 20... I know the cameras can't see. It's the raw 25th anniversary. Michael Chee called me and he was like, do you want to go to Raw 25th anniversary?

And I was like, fucking hey. Hell yeah. That's the best with him, too. So they do the thing, you know, where they like drive in the SUV and you go down the elevator. He like, Jake, they treat Che. Chase is like the fucking Megan Merkel of the rest of the world.

No, I don't know. I'm like... Him and Sal was he called. Brian. They go in and they go like, come on ring side. Like they sit ringside. It's fucking.

It's different than when I went with Dan St. Germain for his bachelor party. And we were second to last row at MSG. And then I'm watching Stone Cold Steve Austin have a beer with Sal. Who's like, come on Sal, get in the ring.

And we're all at the top. Me, Mike Lawrence, Dan St. Germain, Scott Chaplin. We're in NWO shirts. And we're like, we know that guy.

Way better experience. NWO is WCW, right? Yeah, but they, It came over to WDWE. Oh, it did? Yeah, they had the whole invasion.

WCW was cool as that? Cool of that? Well, they got bought out. Vince McMahon bought WCW. He did not like WCW. No, it was his only competition. And he was a true carnival man. So he bought it out.

He wanted to be the only showtown. And then he ran. What about AEW? I got one of those chairs over there. Shout out Colt Cabana. Yeah. What about ECW? Got bought by AWE as well.

Oh, shit. W. We bought ECW and WCW and owned a ball. So they own all the property. And then AEW's been the only, I mean, there's also TNA, which got bought out by WWE. But there's other like wrestling leagues. Is Triple H eyeing AEW? He can't touch it.

Why? Tony Collins, too rich, the guy who owns it. He won't. He's a billionaire. It's not for sale. Yeah, and he wants to run it himself. They're enemies. But that always happens in wrestling where you get bought out.

I just heard your audience change the channel. Wrong. My audience just fucking double-garde. Yeah, but. Okay, great. Here's the thing. I love ECW. I'm the guy that's been pushing back.

Yeah. On people calling wrestling gay since I was eight, because it is gay, but it's my kind of gay. It's the kind of gay I like. There's no busting inside. Just, just fucking.

But it's like, that's what I'm upset about with the WWE now, is they are hoarding people to get, like, they're getting famous people. but it's famous people that have been shitting on wrestling for 20 years. Oh, fuck that. And so I just go.

I had junkyard dog, yeah, bed sheets growing up. Junkyard dog was the man. Watch his dark side of the ring. That guy was fucking nuts. Really? That guy was over. And by over,

I mean, popular. Like, he was the fucking man. How did he die? I don't know. I, I had my bedroom sheets growing up were

Hokko, and macho man and junkyard dog. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. It's the wrestling superstars. I had a junkyard dog doll. Yeah, one of those. the big rubber one with the red pants.

I had this doll. I had the J.Y.D. I had the macho man doll. And I had. That's the original macho man from the 80s where he had the fucking weird headband and shit. I had these. Yeah.

A fan gave me those after a show. Who had the green tongue, George Animal Steel? Yep. I had the, I had the green tongue. I had the Andre, the giant where he had the afro and the blue shorts. Oh, shit. And it was like, I had the old school Andre before the strap. That's true.

Oh, God. Double check that because that's a crazy way. But he was like, Like, so what's crazy is there's a great book. Well, those guys had like hepatitis. Those guys were all alcoholics. They all, they all, heroin, coke, kids. Well, they would do pain.

GHB got famous because, you know, GHB got famous because of bodybuilders and pro wrestlers. Because if you take GHB, it helps you sleep, but it burns fat while you sleep. Oh, really? So they would take it. I know the gays like it because you can drink, you can get drunk, but no calories. So that's like a super alcohol. because it burns the fat. When you're sleeping, GHB has a reaction where it burns the fat.

God, it's a wonder drug. So wrestlers would take it to go to sleep on the road because they're on the road 300 days a year. So they're like... So he probably took it and fucking pass out by the wheel. But they were using it in ways where it was like, before the date were like, excellent. I can't...

Wrestlers were like, oh, I can sleep and I'll wake up looking fucking cut. Because they used to sell it at GNC back in the day. We would do it at raves in high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You would just do, how would you do it? It was called scoops. You would do a shot of it at a rave in high school. And you would just fucking up. And you would just get it at GNC, yeah.

Would you pass out? If you do too much of it, yeah. But if you do the right amount, it just. You got to, like, set your watch to do the right amount because you can overdose and it sucks. See, for me growing up. And you don't want to mix it with alcohol and you don't want to mix it with ketamine or you're cooked. Or you're dead. You're not in good shape.

So that was always, the fear for me was like, that kind of shit was scary to me. but then doing ball rips and drinking a fucking half a bottle of whiskey, I was like, well, that's normal. Yeah. I'm from Florida, so we're like, heavy drug ever. Did you? We would spray our weed with raid and bug spray and shit. When did you first see?

A cloud nine would dip the weed in embalming fluids. Well, that's Sherman, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just going Sherman. That's getting wet. Yeah. Yeah, we were fucking nuts. When did, did you ever see bath salts?

Or did you leave by the time? No, but I heard that the bath salt thing, the guy that zombie ate, that guy, face. They drug tested him and he just had like a very teeny tiny bit of weed in the system. No bad thoughts. It was just schizophrenia. Yeah, it was totally I don't know, undiagnosed, but it was

like, uh, it was junk journalism. I'm friends with Hamilton Morris who has that show on on Vice Hamilton's Pharmacopia. Yeah. He goes, that's totally junk journalism, scare tactic journalism. He's like, it's total bullshit. They didn't find anything in that guy. Do you, I wonder if it's PCP too. He goes, PCB doesn't give you

super strength. It doesn't. He goes, PCP was invented by an anesthesia It's kissing cousins with ketamine. It's almost the exact same thing as ketamine. No shit. But poor, he goes, if poor white people or poor black people do it, then it's going to have a bunch of junk journalism about it. So he goes, crystal meth and adderol, almost exactly the same molecularly.

Really? One molecule difference, but poor white people do crystal meth. And suburban to rich white people do adderol. And it's also. And it's the Chris Rock joke. The government doesn't want you to do your drugs. The government wants you to do their drugs. Yeah, because I mean...

So PCP, poor black people, poor white people do it. Ketamine, suburban white people, rich white people do it. He's like, it's almost the same drug. Invented for the same reasons. Both invented by anesthesiologists. Because when we were there... Adderall's same drug. Especially early 90s, early mid-90s,

PCP was, if you take it, you'll break through the handcuffs of the police. Yeah, you'll break to the handcuff, you'll peel off your hand. Total complete bullshit. You'll get shot by the cops nine times and survive. Total bullshit. I did it. recently. You did PCP?

I did like a little bum. The guy I got my psychedelics from, it was like PCP was on the menu. So I was like, let me try. My friend was doing ketamine, and so I was like, I don't really like ketamine.

Let me try PCP. Not only did I not feel super strength, which is like, I wish. That'd be fucking rat. If you're on steroids, I mean, I'm sure that somebody on cops

who was on steroids and experiencing a psychotic break and doing PCP was on PCP, But I did it and I felt great. You grabbing an Olympic. I just did a little bump though. I didn't do like a fucking heroicos.

But you're grabbing like a clean and jerk from the Olympics and popping both your shoulders out? But that's, you know what it mean? It's like I didn't even know that. I didn't know PCP was molecularly the same because I knew kids doing ketamine in high school. I don't know if it's exactly the same, but it's like it was invented for the same reason.

One scientist invented it. Yeah. They were both invented by anesthesiologists. You know, what's funny is about the government thing was when I lived in Tucson, it was the first major crackdown on selling Sudafed because they were turning it into crystal meth. Right. And really, that's just the government going, no, no, no, no.

You can't go make it yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they were. They were just cooking it up. So Adderall, Vivance, it's just part of the amphetamine family. It's the same thing Hitler would shoot up. Yeah, I was just listening. It's not that different.

And also, crack and cocaine are almost exactly the same. only difference between crack is the baking soda. It's the same. It's the same. You smoke crack and you don't, and you snort cocaine, but they're the same. But Reagan passed all these laws to make crack, get, uh, because that was the cheaper alternative. Worse or, uh, worse, uh, were sentencing for crack possession. So what about the whole CIA highway, Ricky Ross bringing it, Rick Ross bringing it it into black neighborhoods? In Oakland and 83? Yeah, like all that stuff was that, that, that was just cocaine. I got to ask Carl Hess.

He would know. He told me the whole history of it. It was like they were experimenting something in, I think it was in Belize. I don't want to get this information wrong. But look this up. Also, Carl Hess. I haven't heard that name in forever. Yeah, yeah, I love Carl.

He's my drinking buddy. He's awesome. He's the man. Carl Hess rules. Yeah. And he's like, he has like encyclopedic knowledge. Like he was telling me that the CIA, they're always tampering with Central America. So like, like inventing like fucking.

you know, like funding, selling weapons, you know, funding paramilitary death groups and contras and, you know, starting civil war. So it was something like they were making, like Belize, I think, was getting cocaine and basically like stepping on it with baking soda to make it cheaper. And cooking it.

And then the CIA brought that into Oakland and introduced it black neighborhoods in Oakland to fuck them up like the way that the Native Americans, Americans were fucked up by whiskey. It was just their new. It was the same bit. Just a different punchline. Same bit.

Same bit. So they just go, we're just doing the same bit. So, yeah. So, but it's, so, so, so Coke and crack, almost identical. Meth and Adderall, one molecule different. And PCB and ketamine almost exactly the same. Do you think they have, do you think like the ultra-rich have like an alternative version of alcohol that doesn't?

It's GHB. And my friend, my buddy that said, um, when GHB got labeled the date drug, he goes, I bet you Anheiser Bush is pushing that narrative. That's what I'm, okay, so that's what I was also wondering about.

A lot of people are going back to, the gays started going back to J.A.B. And the straits are following suit. Because now people are looking at it like, wait, is it the day drug or is any sedative in the hands of a rapist? A weed gummy is a day drug.

If you're a rippist. Give him a 200 milligram. You know, you're fucking, you're a fucking p.m. Is a date drug if you're fucking rome. fucking NyQuil. NyQuil is a day drug if you're a

if you're a racist. Yeah, so a lot of people are going back to GHB because they're like, wait, where all those stories in the late 90s, early 2000s were those pushed by Anheiser's Bush agenda. A lot of people are thinking that there's a conspiracy for that because of the junk science coming out about PCP in the 80s

and crack in the 80s and it's the same thing. So, yes, GHB is like a alternative to alcohol that can get you drunk, but you have to do it safely because you can fucking overdose. I wonder if they're doing that right now because you're seeing that weed. They're going like, yeah, marijuana is causing psychosis and kids in their 20s and shit. Kind of like they're trying to do a weed scare but still make money off it.

And I wonder if it's because alcohol sales have plummeted. Oh, really? Kids now do not drink. Gen Z, Gen Alpha, they don't want to drink. I'm hearing that. But I'm also. I have a friend that works for like a major liquor company. And he's like, no, the number is really bad for you.

Ask him. I talk about it too much on this podcast where people go like, you're shut the fuck up. It's like, cause most of the health problems. It screws with your, it deteriorates your frontal lobe.

It screws with your pancreas, your liver, your body can't regenerate shit when it's fighting out the sickness of alcohol. You're putting in, you're just putting. It's crazy. Yeah.

But I mean, we had beer and wine for millions of years and we've only had liquor for like 500 years, six hundred years. That's the real motherfucker problem. Yeah. I probably would have been

Like liquor's like 10 times the ABV of beer. So we had like low, we had like 3% alcohol beer for millions of years. Yeah. That's like your body can handle. Yeah. But like liquor distilled with an elambic fucking like a pot still is like, that's like the Industrial Revolution. That's like, that's like, you know.

Who was it at first? Was it the Brits with gin? Well, those. Who was the first one to go like? Those elambic stills are from the Middle East. Okay. They're like Arabic. So it was maybe French people in North Africa

or Spanish people in North Africa throwing different things in these Olympics. Still, to make perfume, but like some fucking mad scientist is like, I'm like, shit, this shit is you live, bro. I am so sick of not getting pussy and walk out of the food food food factory. And he's like, I don't give a shit about it is. I will kill everyone.

But that makes the bath salt thing, now that we're talking about companies coming back, I wonder if that's a hit job from someone like a fucking bubble bath companies being like yo these bath salts are fucking us up maybe maybe we fucking I don't know create a thing that they're going to make you eat people's face because that had to take a hit when that guy in florida got accused of zomboifying it's totally bullshit it is all bullshit there was no how far how far that spread yeah because misinformation spreads it's easier 10 times as much as real information real information is boring it's boring it's misinformation is

It's exciting. Misinformation you go like, oh, give me more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. It's way more exciting. Real science, you go,

well. You're like, yawn. You know, well, that makes sense. Shut up, nerdsworth. I'm trying to hear fake information. Yeah,

but I mean, you guys doing GHB, if you told me in high school, we can go to this house party and do gravity bong hits and drink Everclear. Or you can go to this punk show, do a shot of GHB

and just have a good time and be sweaty. Yeah, no hangover. You know what I mean? No hangover and you're fine. I would have been more scared of that than going to a kid's... Well, like alcohol is normalized. Yeah.

So it's like everything's marketing. You know what I mean? Like if you're used to something, it's a... What is it called? It's either mere exposure effect or repeated exposure effect. Probably repeated exposure. It's just like... I don't know if I'm getting that term right.

It's something about like if you just see a fucking Pepsi ad 10,000 times, your fucking chimpanzee brain goes okay Pepsi's safe I'm seeing it all the time That's why I have a big problem with Pharmaceutical ads because we're the only country I think there's like us and one other country Are the only countries that pharmaceutical ads Are allowed to be on TV

Where they're allowed to market the drug And skip the doctor Where they're basically allowed to go to the person And be like which blows my mind Hey life could be better By the way it's not even those kind of drugs It's like complicated ones that's like if you have thyroid cancer,

you might be able to live five more months with this drug. And you're like, well, don't, the doctor should be telling people. You shouldn't learn that because you were watching fucking Wheel of Fortune.

Yeah, yeah, and you're like, hey, I think I found another five months to my life if I take this with the catchy song. Yeah. They did like,

they did a parody of a famous song and now I want to come to your office. And they're, because they're always like, consult your doctor. It's like, the doctor should be fucking telling you. Yeah.

That's one of the crazy things. It's pharmaceutical ads and gamble. I'm very loud about the gambling shit because that, is just going to fucking, that's going to ruin people the way opiates did. But I think pharmaceutical ads are right up there with like,

what the fuck are we doing? I think iPhone addiction. We're going to look back on iPhones and fucking cigarettes. We're talking about that. It's like, I'm so fucking addicted to my phone. It's a fucking tragedy.

I started putting... The amount of doom scroll. I'm like, what did I just do for two hours? I will check out of doing something to doomscroll and then check back in and go, I just lost three minutes.

I just lost two hours of my life. I doing what? I started... I used to read. Yeah. I don't read anything. I'm trying to, dude, that's so funny. I'm buying books to read.

I'm buying books again because my brain like fucking needs it. Yeah. And I'm so ADD now because the phone I can't, I can't read. I put, you're going to look back on that like cigarettes. Like, holy shit, do you know they used to smoke cigarettes inside the airplane and restaurants? Do you charge?

Did everybody get lung cancer? Yeah, dude, it was fog. They put asbestos in some cigarettes. That's what we're going to look about. They used just, it was a tradition that when a baby was born and they gave it to the father, the father, the father, But the father would smoke a cigar with a baby there.

Just fucking like, that's my boy. And the baby's like, ha, baby's like, ah, I'm already dying. But do you charge your phone next to your bed? No, I have an insomnia psychiatrist. My insomnia got really bad. So I put all the electronic. There's no electronics.

How great is that? Yeah. It changes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did, I started putting my phone in the bathroom to charge. Yeah. So at night, I just, when I go to take my fucking pill or whatever, I take, oh, no. Yeah.

Charge it. Yeah, yeah. And then I go to bed. because I was waking up on the road and just at like three in the morning just looking at my phone. Every girl I've dated for the past 10 years. Phone on all throughout the night

right by their fucking head. I'm like, get it out of here. Dude, this one, I had to, this one. She listens to Mario go cart. I'm like, it's by their head next to their temple.

I had to tell her to put it on airplane mode. I was like, hey, she listens to the podcast. She listens to the podcast. podcast to fall asleep? Why do you need it? I know. Turn it off.

Turn it off. Turn it off and get it out of the fucking room. I used to be. Why do you need it while you're unconscious? It's crazy. I used to not have a TV in my room and I used to sleep better. I didn't have no TV in my room. It's great.

No, fuck. I don't make a laptop in there. You just go to sleep. The bedroom is for sleeping sex. Yeah. Are you getting good sleep? I am now. I had to fucking go with this.

I had to work with this insomnia psychiatrist. I had a fucking bad insomnia. But I think the screen time, make i think that we're going to find a correlation later between screen time and sleep apnea of sleep apnea i got a seap machine but i i got a sleep bat machine trazadone and fucking i wear the orange glasses but i think seapap i think it helps a lot of people especially those that are morbidly obese and can't get like the breath when they're sleeping yeah but i think a lot of that is going to wash away in 20 years because i got diagnosed with with sleep apnea but he was like we

should get you a CPAP machine. I tried it. I didn't like it. And then I started seeing the charges that I was getting to my insurance was like monthly where they're like, hey, we got to, you got to update it. You got to fucking do this. And I was going, this is, this seems like you're just, interesting. You're just trying to get me on the hook.

I was dating, the proof was I was dating this Australian girl. And she's like, when you don't have your fucking CPAP machine, you're snoring. It's like, I'm next to a bloody warless fucking like running out of it. And then she goes, when you have it, not only do you not snore, but you're like as still as a fucking Then that works. Baby. Like you don't move and I can actually sleep. Because I think there are people that get that, right?

A lot of snores real bad. So my dad used to snore. So I thought maybe, oh, I fucking, I snore or whatever. Tried the CPAP thing didn't work. Still couldn't sleep. Was doing edibles. I was doing shit that wasn't smart. Yeah, I was doing the same thing.

I was like mixing, I would take an edible and Benadryl and fucking. And then I got addicted to Zanax. to get to sleep and all the shit. And you're taking like the Ziquil shit. Yeah. Zeequel, all that shit. I stopped all that shit.

So I used to be like, ooh, it's an Advil PM night on the road. And I'll take one of those and zonk out. And then I got a fucking white noise machine. Yeah. A white noise machine changed the way that I sleep. Oh,

that did it for you. Dude, I took it on the road and I plugged it in. And it was working at home, but I was like the road's the real test. I turned it on and I took a nap and I fucking slept for like, 45 minutes I like actually like to the point where I woke up I didn't know where I was. Whoa.

It was like disassociating. That's your shit. Yeah, I got such deep sleep. And then I turned it off next to me and I could hear the hallway in. I could hear like the coming and goings. I could hear like people like the the doors opening shutting. See, I get better sleep in a hotel room. Do you?

What about tour bus? Tour bus horrible. I stopped. I couldn't do it. I stopped doing the tour. And everyone, all my friends were like. When I first did it, I loved it. I was like,

yeah, man, this fucking room. But it feels, it does feel rock and roll. Yeah, I hate it. I can't. I couldn't sleep. It's like, Gag, gagh, gagh, gah, gah, gah, gah, go,

and I know this band, the guy got in a fucking horrendous tour bus accident. The tour bus driver was mincemeed. The drummer was paralyzed. He felt like, part of his hand doesn't work anymore. He's a guitar player. Yeah, see?

So, like, I was like, nah, fuck this shit. That was the Metallica Cliff Burton story. Yeah. They were dead asleep in their bunks. They hit ice in Europe. And the fucking bus flipped and it killed Cliff Burton. Yeah, you're like,

you're like, You're like, dude, fuck that. Yeah, Tracy Morgan, same thing, and Artie Fouqua. They were in a Sprinter van. They were in a Mercedes Sprinter van. Okay. When I got hit by that Walmart truck. I just know that because of Artie.

But they were like in like a big, one of those giant. Imagine they're already only lived because he like happened to go to the front. It's just for like somebody's like, hey, check out this day. Whatever. He like went to the front and he goes, everybody in the back died. But tour buses, when you're asleep and you're laying down on the tour bus, you hear the treads of the road. No, I hate it. I hate it.

For some people, that's like, it lulls them to sleep. No. But for me, when I went on a tour, when I went on Burt's tour of that summer, and we were on that tour bus for like four weekends in a row, when I could. He's rocking the PJs now, though, right? I mean, dude, he's got, I think so. This was two years ago, and it was like, me, Atel, Big J, De Rosa, a bunch of people were on the tour. Everyone was like, I can't wait for the tour bus because I could sleep better.

I wouldn't sleep all night. And then we would park and I would fucking fall asleep. So everyone would be getting up and I'd be like, dude, I'm just falling asleep. Because I'd hear like, R. No. And I'm like, what is that? But it's just him changing lanes or something.

No, I hate it. I hated it. I hated it. That's crazy because it does make me feel nuts. I weirdly loved it at first and got perfect sleep. Really? Like the first year we did it. Yeah, I did it when I was like 28, 29.

Loved it. And then like, I went back to it and I fucking hated it. Something changed. I aged. Are you having hard to, uh, time finding comics to do your bombing podcast? Like, are there people that don't want to talk about it? No.

All comics want to talk about it. Comics love talking. Yeah. You know what I mean? We also love talking about, uh, being embarrassed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you're like, uh, I might not. Also, it's not just comics.

I have anybody like, I had, I've had chefs on musicians. What, how do chefs bomb? Just a horrible gig, a restaurant fails. They fucking, fuck, biff it. It's a, it's a, it's a show about failure. Yeah. Trials and tribulations. I love that.

You know, it's not, it's not like. A chef failing and coming back and being like, it's food poisoning. A chef failing is food poisoning. We had Roycher on. He was just talking about how he's been like badly burned and sliced up. And he would get so nervous. He went to this like Japanese culinary school and he got so nervous that his nose started bleeding on the food. Oh my.

That first drop where you're like there like you see, you know, because anybody's ever had a nose bleeding. You notice it because it drops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, fuck. Where he'd be like, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck? And in the movie,

that always means you're about to die of cancer. Whenever they show that, they go, what is that? And then they cut to the detective leaving his wife's funeral.

But if it happened in a culinary setting, that would probably fuck me up. Yeah. I'd be like, fuck, fuck, fuck,

fuck, fuck. Yeah, it makes it worse because then you're freaking out. Because when you freak out when you bomb, it always makes it worse.

Yeah. And, like, I've done it so many times. Yeah. I've been like, what's wrong? You guys don't fucking like? And then they're like,

now, now we really don't like you. Yeah, yeah. Like, we were acting cool, but now actively fuck you. And you're like, God, damn it. I've had ones where you're like,

I saw something that I've never heard. I don't know the comic's name, but a comic bombed at the stand so hard recently that he didn't get applause when he left the stage. Yeah, I couldn't. At a level of bombing. I think that might have been me. But that's a level of bombing where you're like,

that's. No, it sticks to your ribs. Yeah. You can't make eye contact with people afterwards. I bombed at Standup, New York one time doing a check spot so bad. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. It feels like it really counts.

But you can't. People are literally distracted, like not paying attention to what you're saying. Didn't matter. I fucking ate it. And I went outside and called it. The girl I was dating, I called her at the time. And I went,

I don't know if I want to do this anymore. It was like one of those where you got whipped so bad that you go, I don't feel so. good. Can you come pick me up? It's calling your mom because you puked. Can you come get me? I'm sick.

That's how I felt. It was like, fuck that. Dude, I appreciate you coming by here. Yeah, thanks, man.

Thanks for having me. What's the premise of your podcast? Nothing. It's this. It's premiseless. But you know what's funny? I did stop for us this podcast two nights ago. And it's just like this.

We're in his apartment and we're just fucking bullshitting. and then like he had a caller call in and it was like it was like it was like she was like my boyfriend only likes fucking me in the ass and he never eats my pussy i was like stavi what's the fucking premise of your mom well you know what those stav that's what it is he's he was like call in or whatever because i for me it's like calling for advice is funny from him because it's like i like him like it'd be like eat a pussy more yeah my professional diagnosis is Munchmore box. He's like a Hunter of Stompson's lawyer.

Like, Benizio, Dutoro and fear and loathing. He's Oscar Ocosta. Yeah, he's like, I'll tell you what you do. Take a machete there. As your lawyer,

we need five ounces of cocaine. Yeah, but mine was like, you know how many people you cut out when they go, like, what's your premise? And you go, I just going to hang out with comics in my office. And they go, well, don't you,

you don't need producers for that. You're like, oh, me and Mike got it. And then they're like, I'm a fan of yours, So I have people on that I like, that I'm like, oh, I fuck with this person. And then I just hope people that, you know, most people that are watching this know he. Kevin Hart had me on his podcast.

And I was like, halfway through, I was like, this guy clearly hates me. Like, I go, does he know that I was booked today? I think I asked him. I was like, did you book me? I don't like, I don't think you want me here. Whenever I have that, I go, I've never had that because it's all people that it's like. Yeah, why would you? Why would you?

I just, well, Kevin Hart's a machine. He's just like, bam, what do we got? This guy just, bam, he's famous. Yeah, what are we doing? I'm kidding how about it. And it's like, he looked at me like this, like the whole time. He's like, I've done a couple of rows. So where did you get your start?

I was like, I don't have to, I can go. We don't have to be here. You know what's funny. Neither of us. That was, that was morning radio for me on the road for a lot of my career. You go in and they go like, why are you here? The last time I did terrestrial radio, I was like doing a bunch in a row. And I just fucking, I go, I'll be right back.

I got to go, you. a restroom and I just hung up on the Zoom. My publicist is like blowing me up like, you got like 10 more. I go, there's no point. There's no point. There's no point. He goes, well, you're going to like burn a bridge. I go with like KC.

fucking CW and Cincinnati. I don't care. Zoom zoom in the butt dog. I'll grab the kerosene. But there are, you know, it's funny about that is the relationships I still do have with the morning radio that I know, like Preston and Steve and Philly. They're my favorite.

Is they were always super cool to me. when I was headlining like a Wednesday. Yeah. And they'd go, come in, promote your show. And you're like, you guys don't have to do this for me. And they'd be like, no, it'll get people when I'm selling 16 tickets. Yeah, nobody was rude to me, but I was like, these people don't know who I am. Their audience doesn't know what I am.

I don't listen to Terrestrial radio. Nobody that's coming to my show does. But there's that, I've got the ones that were like rude where they're like, why are you here? And you're like, because you have a relationship with the club. And the club's making me do this. I don't want to fucking do this. But like famous people. Yeah, like, yours is something.

Mine, you know, probably should have been forward. You're just going to sit on my fucking couch where I play video games and talk. But yours has a premise where it's understandable or you go, you know, go in it. And then you're like, I'm ready to talk about failure. Yeah. And but like I also cheat on the premise of mine all the fucking time. Sure. You know, it's really just an excuse to hang out.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Because that's all you want to do. Like, dude, I honestly would have never walked in here. You make so much more sense to me now knowing you came from a punk rock kind of like beginning that I go, You make so much more sense to me now that I know you did PCP a few weeks ago. Yeah. Can I tell you this?

Yeah. And in a totally awesome way. Fuck yeah. It's context. Yeah, yeah. It just puts it. Like, you didn't know that I grew up with boozebag parents. No, I didn't know.

And that I fucking... I thought you were still hitting the fucking sauce. See what I mean? You got that baritone. You have that deep voice. And who's got the deep voice? My mom. When you meet my mom.

Yeah. Did you meet my mom? It sounds like it's like a whiskey drinking voice. But it's just my mom had a deep voice. Okay. My dad had a regular voice. My mom's like, how are you doing? Janet Reno's your mom.

Can I tell you this, Eric? And I swear to God, this is real. My friends from high school would tell you this. I was raised, you know, my mom was a single mom, so we, we, I'm an only child. Yeah. So you kind of go at each other a lot. Yeah, yeah. When I would shit talk her to my friends, it was the Will Ferrell Janet Reno.

That was the impression I'd do where I go, play that song I like. That was my impression for my mom growing up when I was being a little shitty teenager. I'd be like, hey, Dan, you didn't know. law. Shut up, ma. That was absolutely my impression.

That's so funny. Watch Eric Andre's podcast, listen to it, download the artist's feed. Yeah. Subscribe to his feed. It's called bombing. Fucking check it out.

Check out bombing with Eric Andre. Heart radio. Also watch all of the Eric Andre show because he put... If you dare. Dude, it's the situations you did. Me and Big Jay used to just watch that shit and smoke weed and be able to like,

this is the best. Yeah. It was the best. I remember texting Hannibal when you put season one out, I just was like texting them Doc chicken, doc chicken. Yeah, nice.

And he was like, okay, man. Yeah, I'm always like, all right. But I was like, it was the first, one of the first things that someone I knew made something that I was like, oh, I fuck with this, not because I just know them, but because I genuinely like it. And I remember that.

It was like 20. Last time I did, that's time I did the podcast, it was with Big J. Yeah, well, we had the serious XM show. You guys had that show. Yeah, that's a, last time I did.

Yeah, that was serious. And Jay said like the nicest thing to me, which was, because I've never seen somebody stand up translate directly into their TV show more directly than what you were doing in New York before you did the show. Oh, that was like the sweetest. But it also is like even what you were just saying where it felt like you go, oh, this is the avenue. I can do this here.

Even from the introductions, from you fucking with the band, from Hannibal's entire character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. where you filmed it in Brooklyn, how it was shot, that fucking, that public access vibe. Yeah, yeah. But then you're having celebrities that you're bringing on that you are making fun of sometimes and sometimes with.

Yeah. And like the Tatiana Ali, there's like moments where you go, man, this is the most Eric Andre shit. No one can Eric Andre like Eric Andre. And I think that's like, I'm flattered. I mean that in like the highest way possible. I think that's like I've, as a fan of comedy,

I like finding nothing more. than someone hit their stride in a way that you go, this is exactly who they are. And I think that's who you are. And it's like, great. That's what I said. I'm glad you came on because the punk rock and the PCP thing. Yeah, yeah.

Make it all make a lot more sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just gives it a lot more layers. So check it out. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Thanks, man.