Soder - 133: Colorado Barrel Chest with Patton Oswalt | Soder Podcast | EP 131

Episode Date: May 12, 2026

Support the sponsors to support the show!For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASHAPP10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.You don’t have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/SODERThat’s BetterHelp.com/SODERhttps://www.betterhelp.com/get-started/?go=true&slug=soder&utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=1093&utm_term=soder&promo_code=soder&landing_page_img=https%3A%2F%2Fd3ez4in977nymc.cloudfront.net%2Faffiliate_images%2Fc8f1e33eccfdd97908db536def2e7dbd2d9ae59240ff77c0f1ee89f46ed7f544.png&aff_channel=podcast&discount_rate=10&discount_period=P1M&date_interval=P1M&percentage_off=10&amount=1&amount_spelled_out=one&unit=month&gor=startHead to Factormeals.com/soder50off and use code soder50off to get 50 percent off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details)https://www.factor75.com/pages/meal-delivery?version=podcast&c=soder50off&mealsize=1-8&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=podcast50off&discount_comm_id=de62f522-6b3d-4120-a218-f3a5e6df2996&utm_content=act_podcast_podcastadsThe Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city!Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tourMay 15-16 - Omaha,NEJune 1-2 Key West,FLJune 5 - Newark,NJJune 13 - Mill Valley,CA - Special TapingFollow Patton Oswalthttps://www.instagram.com/pattonoswalt/https://pattonoswalt.com/https://x.com/pattonoswalthttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZAW5O34QidZjpbD1E07rBhBfm5xL33pTPLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572Connect with SoderTwitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoderInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoderTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoderYoutube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy#dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcastProduced by  Mike Lavin     https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Hey, what's up, everybody? I hope you enjoy the podcast this week. Thanks for watching. This is our final day in Los Angeles. I'm very ready to go home to my couch to do the podcast, but also to play video games and take a nap. I love to nap on that couch. That's what you don't know.

Where all those people sit down and talk to me, I nap. I put my face right where their butts were. But go to DanSoter.com. We announced a bunch of new dates. This week, this Friday and Saturday, I'm going to be at the Omaha Funny Bone. Four shows, bringing Sagalow.

It's going to be unbelievable. Then if you live in Key West, Florida, June 1st and June 2nd, I'm going to be at Comedy Key West. It's unbelievable. The ticket link is up at Dan Soder.com. It's going to be just a Monday, Tuesday show, but I'm excited to come to Key West and, you know, hang out, do this hour before we record it and also kind of fuck around. And then June 5th, New Jersey Performing Arts Center.

There are limited tickets left. This is the last, like, theater show before we record the Netflix special. Dan soda.com for all those dates. Go get your dates. Thank you for coming out to shows. They've been so fucking fun. Netflix's A Joke was awesome. Thanks for coming to the movie watch along.

That was unbelievable. This is you guys fucking rule, and I can't thank you enough. And I'll see you on the road. Do you like the Netflix as a joke festival being in L.A.? Look, I like... It becomes Frost Nixon. I like not having...

look, I like not having to travel. I wish that they would do, they're slapping their name on everything. And if you put your name on every show, then by definition, they're not special. Yeah. Like, have less shows and really do the thing, do it would be really cool to do a combination of,

you have these great big names doing huge shows, and that's awesome. But as much light as you put on those, really give people the opportunity and make it seem like a, a special thing to, here are names you have never heard before. And you're going to get to see them here. I also.

And really push that. Like that is what is always, because that always ends up being the exciting thing down the line when they look back and go. Yeah. At the same night that person A was at the Hollywood Bowl, person B, who is now person A was at this, was in front of 20 people. Like that's always exciting. I completely agree with you that you almost kind of become a part of like comedy

history almost like a almost like a sports draft where you're like I went and drafted a show in the third round and it ended up becoming one of the biggest guys in the world. That's a fucking great way to put it. Yeah. Think of it as a sports draft. I took a risk on

one of the smaller ones and it was amazing. And I went and got this thing. I would say the way I would instantly fix Netflix as a joke festival is passes. That's what makes a festival. So buy a That's yes. That's also great. You get a level. You get one A level

headliner. Then you get like 5B level. You know what I mean? Make it like a system where you're not just going to Chappelle and Shane and Nate, but you're going to like Chappelle and then maybe an impre like our show at the improv where you are seeing me and you for absurd ventures. That way no one has to shit blood about ticket sales. The way that every single comic for this festival. We are all, it's like there, there were days where I was like, because I was originally going to do a show at, um, at, the Wilshire e-bell and then I looked at the other people. I'm like, can I just, can I just host something? So I don't need to. And then so I hosted the, the Peewee's Playhouse 40th anniversary at the Greek, which is great. The pressure was off me. But part of me was like, are there people in a C-suite watching us fight like gladiator

fights? Like who's going to get like because we're all scrambling. And also we're doing it in this year where nobody has any money. I know. everybody's broke. And they just go, so what would you do? It's like,

it's the food from hook where they're going like, imagine a budget. If you imagine a budgeted then it appears, I will say what Netflix is a joke festival does better than any other comedy festival in existence

is the amount of industry that is lurking everywhere. It's just a, it's an industry fest where you turn around and it's guys in fleece But it's not, here's what sets it apart from the Aspen Comedy Festival. It's industry.

Which RIP, I wish I would have got to do. Well, the Aspen Comedy Festival, God bless them. It really was more of a, oh, our execs get to have a ski trip. That's. And the comedy was almost like the third thing on the menu. Did you, when you were doing that festival, could you, because I mean, I'm joking that about the industry. There are, it's just shows and then there's people there.

So this is a fun festival for shows But this is a way better industry showcase Yeah Because the industry's home And they're comfortable They're comfortable and they're like Oh go see some shows and But my question to you is when you're when you were doing Aspen

Yeah Like you know there's there's like a certain Like shine and glittery When you go to a festival and you're figuring it out How quickly did you put together to the this is a fucking ski trip for HBO execs? Oh that was that didn't take long at all But what was great was we all knew that. So the comedians themselves were like, well, let's make this a party for ourselves.

That's what I wanted to know. So the all night partying that went on, especially up in the oxygen-deprived atmosphere. So people, I remember I walked back from a show with Chris Farley. Okay. This was like two in the morning in Aspen. And it's just freezing cold and everyone's hammered. And people are coming out of bars and they're seeing Chris. And it was like walking down the street with a pope because, oh my God, it's Chris Philly.

And he's grabbing people and throwing him into the snow and people are buying him drinks. And so like it became this weird mobile party going down the streets of Aspen. That's incredible. Yeah, it was gorgeous. So almost like they were getting mauled by a party yetty. Like they'd come out and he'd be like. Party Yetty. He'd be like the same excitement of seeing a Yetty.

It's because it's Chris Farland. Throw me in the snowbank. And also these, again, it's, it's all super rich, coked out Aspen residents. Oh my God, I've seen you before. Toss me. Right. And I'm also, I'm so drunk, none of my nerve endings are sending any pain signals. So this is the time to do it.

Oh, what a do I. So he was just throwing people into fire hydrants and stuff. It was amazing. Yeah, that is got to be very fun. What is as a someone that grew up in Colorado, was a Colorado resident. You did? Yeah, I grew up in Aurora, Colorado. Okay.

The altitude thing's very funny Because it affects people in ways that Will make a white guy That is perma in denim feel like a Sherpa in Nepal Where the way that you help people Where you're like, this man needs water Yes man needs a place to lay down This man is dizzy

I've seen the signs He's in the early stages Well because the residents They've adjusted to the oxygen Well you have the barrel chest Yeah exactly They say if you develop in Colorado Your rib cage

actually is wider so that your lungs can expand more to take more oxygen. I think it's called a Colorado barrel chest but I know it's also called just a barrel chest. Oh, because a Colorado

barrel chest is a different thing where I come from. It's a sex move. It will cost $75. And she goes, and I won't do it without someone in the room. And it involves at least two divorcees. It doesn't matter male or female.

That's not what they, but they have to be divorced for some reason. But it does, but it does really feel like Well, it's where the Olympians train. Yeah, in Colorado Springs. Yeah, man. I would have friends visit me or like when I would bring a girl I was dating from New York and we would go back to Colorado to meet my family or whatever, I would always be like, hey, number one, my family, my mom's family is very fun.

Yeah. They're very fun. You're going to want to drink with them. Don't. I'm telling you right now. It was like I couldn't have given more of a crossing the river. into a jungle country speech to these people. When I go, it will get dangerous.

I will be there for you, but there's not much I can do after a certain point. Yeah. And then they start drinking and you go, you're gone. We're done. Yeah. I had one too many one night at a show in Aspen and it was, and it was one of the few times where I just admitted on stage. Like, yeah, I can't hide how drunk I am right now.

I'm just, I was, I wasn't drinking my normal amount to get me drunk, but I'm in Colorado. So it takes less. And I didn't factor that in. Yeah. And so there was just this, oh, yeah, you know, I drank too much, guys. Man, admitting that on stage for people who don't do comedy, you have to understand. It's like you're telling your boss you're drunk. That's the equivalent of you working out of office.

I know you paid money, but I didn't really show up for work today. I'm not really. If you just went to the office and you go, can I tell you something right now? I didn't adjust to this altitude of the office. And I'm pretty fucked up right now. I don't know if this meeting's going to go. You might not want me on the forklift this afternoon. You might not want me.

I am part of the best idea. I know the Swiss buyers are here. I would not put me in the room with them. I'm going to want to ask him for chocolate. Exactly. I'm drunk and I really want chocolate. Okay, Swiss, I was in Amsterdam. My first time in Amsterdam.

Yeah. Yeah, baby. And I went to a, I went to a coffee shop. I went to a lot of coffee shops to get stoned during the day. Yeah, hell yeah. Shout out the Bulldog Cafe. the Abraxas Cafe for me. Yeah.

And shout out to Lucky Mothers, which was recommended to me by David Cross. Awesome. He was like, go to Lucky Mothers. And they were one of the last, this is in the late 90s. They were one of the last places that would put weed in food. Okay. They were like, we can roll your joint, make you tea, or we put it in food for you. Put it in a candy bar or cookie.

And I went, yeah, give me, put it in a candy bar. So they gave me a Snickers bar. Okay. Which they, I guess they slice the top off, put all the marijuana, put it. put the thing up, shape the chocolate back on and just a Snickers bar full of weed. Great. Now, I didn't know you're supposed to nipple that over the course of a week. Oh, it's a dosage.

It's a ding, ding, ding. It's like getting pills from a pharmacy and just going, oh, just take the whole bottle. They go, absolutely not. So I walked around the rest of the day and I finished my Snickers bar and then I had a show that night. And here's what was weird. I could do my material. I was not slurring. I could speak perfect fine.

I could not physically open my eyes. No way. So I did my set. I was like, guys, and I was again, I was like, listen,

I went to Lucky Mothers and I bought a Snickers bar and I ate the whole stick. And I'm clearly I should not have. Yeah. And I can't open my eyes right now. I'd love to do my material for you. And the audience reaction was like,

oh yeah, we've seen this. Yeah. Like American, they came over. He ate the whole bar. They probably have a goofy Dutch word for it. Like, you like,

and open stuggen. Oh, you're open stugend. Yeah, that's the noise. Openstugan. The open stugent. Whenever they said that, they have to drink. Oh, open stugan. I had a train conductor.

This happened too. I know. The guy was running a train? Yeah, there is. I could not open my eyes. Did you, now here's my question in that moment. Yeah. Did you go for the sunglasses?

Please, does anybody have a sunglasses? No. No, I wanted to own it. I was very much. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I am. I am I I really just I was really that that was a point where I was really coming into be completely honest on stage even when it's embarrassing as shit like absolutely say whatever you're doing I'm hitting that stage right now when you're just like oh fuck I I did okay I did a set

last night at the last bookstore another Netflix is a joke store and joke it's just it's yeah and it was and by the way place was fucking to the walls packed it was amazing and I did a joke that I that is on my new special this is by the way I know you've experienced this this is gonna this is gonna make you cinch up when I say it I have this this joke recorded it on to my special it's the specials coming out it's recorded did it last night in the moment thought of a whole new better tag for it a whole new better punchline he's he's he's he's one of my producers on my upcoming Netflix special there's two bits that I fucking know yep the second I record them at the Throckville

the second the shows are over at the Throckmorton, and I go do a random show. Yep. I'm going to figure out the thing I've been trying to figure out. I did last night. Oh, my God. Oh, that makes me angry for you. And I stopped and said,

I just rip. I go, my special is coming out on June 9th. And I'm letting you know, you just heard a punchline to a bit. It will not be that funny on the special because I didn't think of it till just fucking. Now, and then I got so angry, I said, now, out of anger, I will never do that punchline again. You are the only people to fucking hear it.

That's pretty cool. Like, I'm just giving it to you. Yeah. And I'm doing it like, I, there, oh, that's, I don't know. That is, that is proof to me that there is an intelligence higher than us that enjoys watching us have moments like that. Yes. Because you go, every time. And by the way, it is every time I recorded.

Every time I've recorded an album or special. And then I tour on it until it comes out. You can tour it for a couple months. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At least three new punch lines where I'm like, are you fucking kidding? So this is something when I'm, you know, obviously you still tour after you tape

and then you get tags and then sometimes you get new ideas from bits and then you're like, well, I can't because I just did that whole bit. But a feeling that I'm looking forward to is I love my closer. Mm-hmm. It's very personal.

I like like it. I'm so ready to be done doing it. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I am ready for a conscience, a couple of from this closer. I don't want a bad divorce. It's not going to be messy.

I appreciate everything it's done. I'm just ready to like. Amicable. Go on your way. I'll always love you. I will leave you in the mists of Mill Valley. I will not. The mist of Mill Valley.

I will not see you. Oh my God. You're leaving it beyond the rainbow tunnel. That's what it is. You are. It is beyond. Hey, what happened?

That bit you did. It's beyond. It's beyond. You must go through the Robin Williams Tunnel. I'll tell you. My first time driving back through Marin after Robin Williams has died. And they re because I always knew that a tunnel when I was a kid.

You know, you've known it. You've been in, you were in San Francisco in the 90s. Early 90s. That rainbow was always there. Always. The rainbow was always over the bridge north of San Francisco just past Salasolito. And when I was driving up to my grandmother's house. Yeah.

And I took that corner off the bridge and it said the Robin Williams tunnel. It was like someone fucking punched me in the chest. I was driving through a tunnel being like, Buh! Oh, he's fucking ripped me up. Yeah, he's one of those guys that every now and then you're like, oh, wait, he's dead? Yeah, that does suck.

Why is he gone? It really does suck. What the fuck did he? Yeah. It was also like you knew that was such a big loss because I don't, people don't make a big enough deal of this at the time. But Robin Williams died in 2014. Yeah, 2014.

And ISIS made a statement. Do you remember that? No. Mike, can you look it up to the ISIS? And by the way, we're talking about ISIS at its peak. We're talking about Zeppelin 4 ISIS. We're talking about Stone 72 fucking ISIS. Like they are.

They're at the peak of their ISIS. And they literally, their PR guy, whoever the PR guy is. It always reminds me Michelle Wolf's joke about ISIS, about there's a guy that makes the flag in ISIS. Yeah. That's right But there's also a PR guy And he released a statement

Is, oh, you found it? Dude, it's real It's real It's 100% real Hey guys, Cash App just released A new status program For the way people actually spend Called Cash App Green

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benefits like up to $200 off free overdraft coverage, which who doesn't want that, high bar, higher borrower limits, and custom personalized cashback offers every Friday at places you love to shop. For a limited time, new cash app customers can earn $10 if they use the code Cash App 10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash app is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank,

member FDIC, Cash App Green over drop free, borrow cashback offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a block incorporated brand. Visit Cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosure. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, this world is tough to live in. You have a human brain and there is the internet. You are going to go through it. Probably want to talk to somebody because when you talk to somebody, what they can do is tell you what you're thinking, how you're feeling and maybe how to do it better or maybe how to think about your thoughts better. I don't know. I'm just saying therapy has really helped me and it could probably help you and you don't

have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash soda. That's better. H-E-L-P dot com slash soda. The show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So following the death of actor and comedian Robin Williams in August of 2014, several individuals identifying as ISIS militants or supporters on Twitter at times

made statements. Some militants shared a fondness for his work with one user calling themselves a Jumanjahdi. And that's got to be fake. That's fake. Yeah. But I do remember seeing. I think that that was probably Jim Norton. Yeah.

Feels that probably Jim Norton doing that. Yeah. Yeah. But by the way, I'm sure there were guys like, America should butter. and the ashes should be salted forever. But the genie in Aladdin is, it's so delightful. But Mrs. Doubtfire, a guy.

When the breast are on, when they cut the fire. But when the breast are on, he should not be in a dress. Why is he in a dress? He's a man. He's great. So just recently, embarrassingly,

we're talking about all things are embarrassing. I have really learned how psychologically tied and tormented I am. by the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. Really? It was on.

We pay for the pay channels. We got HBO. We got showtime. I spend. That's right. I spend the money I mean. Listen, I got a Netflix special now. I can afford some streaming.

Listen, I got to see what's going on out there. I got to keep my thumb on the market. But Mrs. Doubtfire was on because it was just like I will doom scroll and I will watch like BBC news and get like a lot of anxiety. but now what I'm doing is I'm putting on the movie channels just as background noise

and I'm stopping. I watched like Meteor Man the other day. Meteor Man is a weirdly underrated movie. Weirdly underrated. It's actually kind of a really funny riff on superheroes. Yes. Robert Townsend doesn't get the flowers he deserves.

Robert Townsend did a black superhero movie that holds up pretty fucking great. Pretty fucking good. And I had a good time watching Meteor Man. Yeah. But then something rolled into Mrs. Doubtfire. and Katie came home from work and she just noticed how much

of a lock this movie had on me because I've been starting to realize I loved that movie. My dad was from the Bay Area. My dad always, you know, Robin Williams was a hero. His name was Daniel. There's a lot of connections.

Okay. He fought to be in his kids' life. That's the whole underlying point of the movie is he'll do anything to be with his kids. watching that as someone whose dad had zero interest being with his kids. I did not realize why I liked that movie so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm uncovering it in a way that is very uncomfortable with my fiancee watching me watch it.

And she goes, oh, this movie fucked you up. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you go, I didn't know. That's why I liked it. Yes, it is weird as you get older. And then you look at something that you were growing up on, that you like for this one reason.

You see it again and go, Oh no, there's a whole other thing that had me. That's such a sadder reason. Yeah. I thought I liked it because he did voices and it was Robin Williams. Yes, but then you watch it when you're like, oh, oh, there's way more. Oh, he cared about his children. Yeah.

So much so. Again, yes, it's a very popular movie. It's, you know, one of the all-time families have to watch it. But there is a weirdly dark, complex. Like, he is a fuck up as a husband. He's a horrible husband. And a fuck up as a husband. provider, but loves his kids anyway.

And so it's like, how do I do this? You are, my dad at all, like Robin Williams, you know, a horrible husband, horrible provider could be a horrible father, but it's not. My dad hit all three of those. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. We hit the parlay on my dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But on that one, the one that didn't hit was that he cared so much about his kids that

He's willing to, and I will say this, deceive every. It's such a movie where you go, how did they pull this off? Yeah, yeah. Because this could look real bad. And there's cut scenes that you can find on YouTube where it was originally a much darker film. See? That's what I mean. So, but all that darkness is now underneath it.

They just didn't put it in there blatantly. Yeah. Because Robin was, I mean, you know, I wasn't friends with him, but we hung out a lot, especially like right in his final years. We kept running into each other at meltdown on sunset. That's awesome. He's a big comic book guy. Yeah.

Every Wednesday. Was he really? Oh yeah. And then we would call each other and go, okay, what are you reading? Well, I just picked up. This guy, Robert Kirkman. He turned me onto a writer named Robert Kirkman. He goes, anything you see Robert Kirkman's name on, you grab it and start reading it.

Would it be weird when you're like talking about like Planet Hulk? He's like, oh, oh, but then he fights? Like, would he do like Robin stuff? Or it'd he be like, oh, and you think Thor was not going to make it out? But son of scar, he's pretty good. Red Hulk, oh. The thing that always, one of the, there's so many tragedies to Robin Williams not being here, but one was that, you know, when you would hang out with him, he would do it.

He would do a little bit of the Robin stuff. And then he would just talk and then talk about his life and how insane his career was. And he never got to do like an amazing one-man show where he just talked about, because his stories were so fast. And he was such a not just brilliant storyteller, but way, tell a story and then give you an insight into it. He's like, I know that I approached the story this way. Yeah. And then it took me like we were just saying about Ms. Delfare. And then I looked at it this way and you're like, fuck that's right.

And he never got to do that. Yeah, that would have been. Why didn't you get to do that? I think everyone, you know, we were joking around, me and the Rose were joking around this about last night. Like he was talking about Regan. And he was like, he was like, Regan, do one final thing where you just. like, Jordan Ross said, he was like, he told Reagan, he was like, just do a special called Gunt and just like, just like, do like, it was so far.

I love the rose. But we were also saying that about. I'm sorry. You just, I just had a visual. Think of the Netflix save screen. Yeah. It's the word, but it's still Brian doing his Brian Reagan's face. But he's doing the dofist face where he's like, duh.

And it's like just, but like, we were talking about that with, um, Nate Bargettze, like, just set it on fire on your last one. And that would be Robin Williams just going like, all right, there's really what happened on Mork and Mindy. Yeah. And here's what happened on Cadillac Man. Yeah, yeah. And I wasn't happy about Awakening's because De Niro was a prick.

And you're like, I would love to hear. Yeah, you're right. Like the stories he would tell me about making Popeye. Crazy when they're so coked out of their mind. Well, first off, have you rewatch Popeye? No. Okay, go rewatch Pope. We might have to do that as another watch along.

Yeah. It is a sneak remake of McCabe and Mrs. Miller. his earlier Robert Altman movie, to the point where they go to, when they go to the bedding track, there's a little red light whorehouse. Sure. And there's a woman with red curly hair lying on like one of those opium beds looking at a piece of stained glass, which is the final shot of McCabe and Mrs. Miller. They put that in there in the movie.

And he said, we're on the island of Malta, which is gorgeous. And, but they had very, very strict, um, uh, import laws. We couldn't get cocaine in there. and our producer was Robert Evans Robert Evans One time I got Harry Nielsen and Robin Williams and Robert Altman to do Popeye

Was I crazy? I was like a fox You ever played Robert Evans In that show about making the godfather Yeah who did that Can you look that up? It's the Miles Teller show Yeah yeah

What is it called like not the The bargain? Yeah look We'll get the offer It might be called the offer Okay It might be called the offer. It is the offer.

That show is fucking phenomenal. Yeah, yeah. But the guy that plays Robert Evans. Who played Robert Evans? If we look it up, he was fucking. Matthew Good? Matthew Good. Played Robert Evans?

Listen, Matthew was good. But was he great? No one could be Robert Evans. No one baby. No one baby. Hey, we're going to get Coke. We need to get Coke to Mota. Well, so Robin said they couldn't, they were having trouble getting cocaine in.

And then suddenly every Friday, three like insanely hot Slovenian models would show up and then they would go into the restroom and they would come out and then there'd be cocaine for everyone so so so Robert Evans would like get them to you know and and then uh the the custom guys were like bellissimo yeah and they wouldn't bother them and then they would that's how they got the cocaine can i tell you right now by the way that's a movie in itself yeah make that moly holy shit can i can i also talk You know, it makes me yearn for a simpler time where beautiful women could trick men of authority

by doing like under the chin and then smuggle in a kilo of cocaine in their pussy. Yeah. It's by coming under the chin of a guy where he goes, oh, like that, you're like, Balissimo, please come to Malta. You're right, right. And then they're like, funk.

And they go, there you go, Evans. I got your brick in. Let me open this balloon up. Yeah. Yeah, that was, because I only met Robert once and he was very quiet it was at the comedy cellar he was he when he wasn't on he was conserving his energy and like gilbert godfrey it was very similar yes gilbert was the same way yeah i mean although every time i ever hung out with gilbert we were yacking about old movies of belagosie

so i never really saw him calm because we're just like movie i watched him almost get like activated at the cellar oh yeah he would just be like sitting there and he'd be like oh hello oh thank you And you know, Gilbert, you have to go on and then you'd be like, why is it that I can't? But it was like zero to a thousand. It's like the sand flats. You flip the switch. Yeah, but it was like one of those cars on the sand flats where they would be like, he'd be like, I always remember this is specifically what I always do. And everyone will talk about Gilbert Godfrey always wanted to take home food.

Yes, he did. So when you were comedy seller. Food, utensils, anything. Anything. Yeah. So him and his lovely wife would be at the comedy. cellar and they would always be talking to a waitress. And this was always before his set and he'd be like, yeah, please, can I get that to go?

And they'd give him like one of those plastic bags with like five to go things. Oh my God. And then he would just go down those stairs and he would go up and he would just a meet. You could sit in the stairs and hear it like like a fucking siren go off. He'd be like, I'm standing here wondering why. That was, when I used to listen to him, that's where I started doing, um, Michelle Wolf is Gilbert. Godfrey. Oh.

I don't understand. Why am I? It's very close. It is very similar. Okay. Yeah. I do Michelle Wolf going, I have red hair and I love to run. What am I doing?

Am I fast? What? I hate to take this conversation in a weird bet. Do it any way you want to. You were talking earlier and then I cut you off and we never got back to it about Your new special, you have this closing bit that you'll be very, very happy to be, because we're talking about when you think of a new thing. Sure. And you were about to say something about, because I also have a closing bit that I'm very secure knowing I can always close my show on it.

But I have to let it go because I got to do something new. It's a blinky. It's a binky. It's a binky. I will tell you right now when I was building this hour, I had that first. And there's like, for any young comics watching, I would give the advice of get your closer first. Figure out where you're going to go. I would hit 35 minutes.

I knew my closer was 20 minutes. So I would go like, it would hit that 35 minutes. Even if I was struggling, even if the show was like, I'm trying jokes and they're not really working and I'm at the funny bone. I can always land on that 35 minute mark and I go like, there we go. You just go like, it felt like a parachute. Like you'd throw and be like, we're going to land safely on this. But then now it's like I really am doing like almost like a sitcom final episode. like running my hand along it being like we went through a lot of shit baby yeah but this is it

remember that time we were locked in that phone yeah it's just me being like oh that show in Portland Maine really wasn't going well and then you bailed me out brother so you know have they do they know what the release date of the special is going to be so you don't know that yet there no this is one of those leasing ones where we're just making it and oh oh and then they'll okay So it's like a Netflix special. One of the, you know, the people that Netflix are great. They've been great to work with. But one of them texted me and they were like, we're so excited to do this.

And I was just not in the right mood. And I texted back, yeah, I'm excited for you to borrow my special for two years. Yeah, yeah. And then just no response after that. What if you had written back? Who's we? Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah.

But there really is like they, you know, it's cool and I'm excited for people to see it. But I, I'm very excited to tape a special in the Bay. area. And because I feel like this is the last time in the Throckmore. And also the Thracmore is such a gorgeous theater. It's so cool. Yeah. Yeah.

It's so like very northern California. My new special was the first one that I taped in an actual comedy club. Where you did it? I taped it comedy on state in, in Madison, Wisconsin, which I did it like a year and a half ago. That, fuck. Yeah, it is a cheat code. That room.

Comedy Works in Denver are cheat codes. It is ridiculous. You know what it reminds me? No, no, not the comedy works. The comedy on. on state in Madison was called. No, I'm saying both of those calls. Oh, both of those, yeah.

They're equal cheat codes. They remind me of back in the 80s, the two clubs. Remember, well, you're young, you don't remember this. We would send out, we would send out videotapes of ourselves. Oh. And they club that you mailed it. They had a VCR. Oh.

And they would put your tape in the, okay. Well, it's getting late now. That's how you, yeah. Are you enjoying your peas, Patton? We're the first, we're the first example of podcast sundowning. Yes. Oh, my God. But you would, uh-huh.

You would mail. Was Judy Tenuda there? With her. But we would mail our videotapes out. And the two places they wouldn't take videotapes from were Charlie Goodnights and Raleigh. And the Ice House, because those were also cheat codes back then. So they knew. They're just like.

this is not an indicator of how good or bad you are. Buddy, you could fart on stage and get a standing ovation. You kind of could. Really? Especially at Charlie Goodnight's. It was ridiculous how good it was. When I started comedy, it was right when everyone went from tapes to DVDs. Yep.

And I was starting in comedy, but I was an open mic or so I didn't have a tape or anything. Right. But I remember the club, I started in Tucson at laughs. Okay. I would work other clubs around there or whatever. And I remember the owners being like, they're old. They were like old club owners and they'd go like this believe they want us to take these DVDs They're like what is this you got I got to buy a laser disc got to buy a whole new machine

What I what I like you send a tape yeah and you get the tape but I were I was at the ass end of the VHS Okay, I was in the beginning where people were in the weird yeah you had a A camcorder that could make DVDs you were like you were king people were like please take my set right first weekend that I emceed at last is on a mini DVD. It's all the ones I need to put in the bigger one. Do you remember those? Yes. Yeah.

Holy Jesus. That piece of technology. You're truly transitioning. Yeah, that was. That little thing that you had dropped the mini DVD in and you could put it in was that's what I have one of my first like weekends on. Factor meals, baby. It's starting to become hot.

You're going to want some summer meals. Maybe we want to start losing some weight. I got it. I can lose eight pounds. So I'm looking at, I know that's very specific, but that's just what I want to lose for my walk-around weight at 42. I'm like, I need to get down to about 210, 212, and I'll feel good. But that's why you got to go get like, well, how am I going to eat healthy? Boom.

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They got it all. Head to factormeals.com slash soda 50 off. Use the code soda 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscriptions only. While supplies last until September 27, 2000. 26. See website for more details. I have like, I have a closet full of CDs of that's all shows, early shows. And this is, yes, this is kind of a brag, but my alma mater is they go, we want your

archives. Like send us all your stuff. We will build an archive of all your things. That's fucking. So I'm going to send them all my raw CDs and they're going to catalog them. And so I'm like, damn, I, you know. Before you do that, I would ask, just because I always love, of like finding out more stuff about comics that are, that are, uh, have been around longer because I think like what you said about the stuff about admitting your faults or whatever. Yeah. Man, if I would have learned that in my 20s, I would have been such a better comic because it's

so hard to learn. Yeah, but I think what I'm glad is there are now, there's documentation, my first HBO half hour and a lot of these early CDs. That's, that's, that's, Piss Drinkers, Inc. Even, even before that. And also after that, but what I'm saying is there's also documentation of me before before I was comfortable enough to be vulnerable on stage. And there's early versions of me where I'm still in that.

Let me tell you how it is. Yeah. And I'm awesome and I'm brilliant. And so you can, and it's like when you watch, there's really early, I'm not, I'm not comparing myself to Richard Pryor, but there's early Richard Pryor where he's trying to be Bill Cosby. And he's not Richard Pryor. You can watch.

And you can see the transition starting to happen. There's, I think it's not the big Kavit show. It's earlier than that. Oh, way earlier. There's way earlier. There's like a prior. Might have been Jack Parr. Yes.

And he comes out and he is just doing Cosby. Absolutely doing Cosby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, if you ever can read the book Prior Convictions, the autobiography of Richard Pryor, which he wrote before he died, the scene about him going to Berkeley and wearing the Deshiki, doing acid, and then cussing. And then what's crazy is what they have documented is.

You can watch Richard Pryor live and smoking, which he recorded at the end of the issue. improv at in New York City and he fucking bombs. He bombs. They showed it. He starts talking about sucking dick and it being addictive. They showed it at the American Sima Tech and it's the one. And they even show a tiny clip of it at the beginning of live in concert where all the balloons

are on stage. Yes. And he riffs something with the audience and that actually gets laughs. But the rest, the audience, they are not ready for it. They're not digging it. And it's crazy to watch it. And he starts, he starts weaving back before he goes, I'm sick. And the audience is just.

Just dead like, what are we looking at? They did not want it. No, no, no, no. Because then you watch 78, you know, live in concert, which is like one of the greatest hours of all time. Which also he's being heckled the entire time. Everyone's yelling. Yeah.

Screaming at him. And he's doing these bits about his dad dying of a heart attack while fucking. And people are just fucking screaming at him. It's wild. And he stayed in the pocket and killed it. But I think the thing is, is like the question I had about getting older is, so you have all this archive. Yeah.

Is there a part of you that before you send it to your alma mater wants to listen to go, oh, I never did anything with that bit, but now I'm a much stronger comic. I can take that premise. Young, young, young, young, young, I thought it was a good premise. Maybe older Patton can. I really, I kind of, I, I remember Stephen King saying something about, he goes, I don't keep a notebook because if I get an idea and then it just stays with me and eats at me, and then I know that's an, and I know that's.

idea to pursue. And if it doesn't stay with me, it means it probably wasn't that important. And if there was a bit that I just could not or didn't follow up on, I mean, yeah, actually, I mean, I should listen to them. I just wonder if like the thing we were talking about about you tape is special and all of a sudden you figure it out. Well, there also has to probably be something that you never figured out. Oh, yeah. That you put down out of frustration. Yeah. And then you know what I mean? You walk by as a vet now and you pick it up and you go, oh shit, that's how that goes. Fuck

Shit Now I got to You know what Well they're They're digit Yeah I have so many notebooks So maybe do that Like go

Yeah do the notebooks Yeah yeah yeah Because it is cool where you go That's actually Not a bad premise 22 year old Dan They're there's They're digitizing all that

For me right now So once I get it all Because I mean It's just like Oh yeah Hundreds of Of CDs Stuff being recorded

Off of soundboards And clubs like Hey do you want this I'm like yeah And I just took it And I just took it And through it in a closet Great

And but now I have it So I'll go through it. And yeah, and I also, I have so many fucking notebooks so I can go through those. That's always what I thought was great about stand-up. It's like, nothing is ever really dead until you record it. Yeah. And then you just go like, oh, fuck, I completely forgot. And as we've learned, sometimes even when you record it, it's not dead.

Because then a month later, you're like, hand comes out of the ground. You're like, Santa of my bitch, it's still alive. Has this ever happened? You have a bit and you got it all worked out and you fucking record it on a special, on an album. And then you realize, oh, the whole first three minutes I could leave out and it's even tighter. But I don't even need the whole fucking preamble for him. The reason I'm pointing at him is when I did my YouTube special, I did an hour in Portland, Portland Helium.

Oh, that's a great club. That's a cheat code. Yeah, that's another cheat code. And we film it and we were in my living room editing it. And we just went like, I don't think we need that first 15 minutes at all. And then we cut it and we put it out. And then like the first response was like, this is fucking airtight. And you're like, well, it had a bunch of air in it.

They had 15 minutes of fucking burps and farts that we cut out of it. But yeah, it's like that's always to me the fun part of the editing thing is like taking away stuff from it. And being like, you don't need that. You don't need that at all. You don't need that. And it's also like I wish more things did that. Like companies and, you know, whether like car companies and, you know, whether like car companies and Just make things better.

I feel like we're in a weird stage because I don't know. This disclosure. We're in insidification right now where we're adding too much. Yes. You know, like your car, it's almost like I, it's almost like my car, my car dealership needs to have its own version of a genius bar where I can bring,

and they teach me what all the buttons do. Like I don't need all this shit. Just run. Yeah, please just turn it on and go. I don't want to have easy GPS. But that's what's interesting right now is like, we're not efficient at making stuff as much as we used to be. No.

And now there's also stuff coming out where you're like, and there's aliens might be real. Like this is what it's happening? Like when we're inefficient and where we're just like. Yeah. Because it keeps going like other people keep going like disclosure and the Spielberg movie happens to be coming out. Mm-hmm.

With like every, I don't know if I'm being marketed to or if there's otherworldly beings. That's what I'm trying to say. Or are they trying to ramp us up toward it? so that there's not mass panic. Are they trying to ease us into it? Which is like... And by the way, listen,

I rewatched Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which that movie is... That movie is probably one of the best movies of the 70s. So they're saying that this movie Disclosure Day that comes out in June is an answer to that. Well, okay, here's... That's what I heard. I don't know if that's true.

This is going to sound very kind of... This is going to sound... I hope that doesn't sound evil, but the whole section of the movie where they are trying to, they show the government dirty tricks guys going, okay, we got to think of a thing. It's a gas leak. We got to scare people off. And they got the pigly wiggly trucks. They're hiding everything.

And you're like, then from when that movie came out, based on how we have reacted to COVID and trans people and anything new and the panics that it's caused, I'm like, I think the government was right to keep that shit from. Like, Kelly is a species, we can't handle shit. So we cannot handle anything. This is an excellent point that I, this is the only time I can make this point. I completely agree with that. Yeah. Because I am a child of the 80s and 90s. I grew up with hyper violent action movies.

Oh yeah. I mean, I grew up, obsessed with Rambo, Commando, Schwarzenegger and Stallone, anything they did. I mean, B movies. Anything I could see where there was hyper, All the rip-offs want to see them. All I want to say. All the JCP.

The eradicators. I love them. I love Robocop one, two, and three. Yeah. I love the whole franchise. Yeah. It's all that shit. I love them equally.

Don't ask me to choose. Don't. I won't because I won't. I won't, just like I won't choose my Rambo's. No. I know First Blood is an actual movie, but three. Three, they teach the Taliban to fight the Russians. Oh.

Which that age, aged horribly. Yeah. where you watch Rambo literally train al-Qaeda. I'm not joking. That's in Rambo 3. And the end title is this movie is dedicated to the brave fighters of the Mujahideen. Who took down in the building.

Thank you, uh, Osama. And then there's also, there's a James Bond movie where he teams up with the Mujahideen. That's what I mean. One of the Timothy Dalton ones. You're like, okay. Yeah. The only thing better than getting pushy is teaching terrorists. And you're like, I don't remember that line in James Bond.

But I'm a child of hating Tipper Gore. Parental advisory, MTV. We were looking up to your generation as like, these guys, you guys were in your 20s. We don't give a shit. And you guys were cool. Gen X was like, fuck all this shit. Rock and roll needs to be uncensored.

Rap music needs to be uncensored and television needs to be uncensored. And I'm a kid and I'm like, fuck yeah. And then I get older and I grew up in Colorado. And, you know, Amash shooting happens. go, what a tragedy? Columbine. And then another one happens and you go, was Tipper Gore right?

Yeah. You go, where all those people that were like, there's too much violence in movies and you're going like, yeah, I thought, fuck,

I'm on their side. Yeah. Like, you don't want to be on their side, but you're like, and then you read about like how the school of the Americas trains assassins and one of the things they desensitize people to violence.

They torture animals for them, show them footage of people being killed. They don't, you're like, I heard. And you go, Oh, no. And I think what would have fast-tracked the thought of maybe they were right is if we found out that mass shooters were doing like Arnold lines.

There he goes, sorry, mall's closed. Let off a little steam. Yeah, they go. Did you know that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold's last words were schools out? Yeah. And you go, oh, no. Pencils down. Yeah, it would not be.

Oh, no, man. This makes it so much worse. that they're doing fucking like one little Arnold stingers at the end of their tragedies. I'm I am all for free speech. I could not be more for free speech, but every now and then there's something where I'm like, I'm all for free speech, but I'm also for smart speech.

Like Sarah McLaughlin, she wrote that song, Possession, and a lot of the lyrics, she took them from a letters that this obsessed fan was sending to her, a stalker. So she used his lines. and the song and I'm like, is that the best idea? Also, let's just get into the legalities of it.

Does he have a gripe as a songwriting? Apparently, he did sue her and then he ended up killing himself. But it's like, is that this? And then I remember right after the Oklahoma bombing and you can watch it. There's a trailer for that horrible remake a day of the jackal called the jackal. Jackal with Bruce Willis, Jack Black. And it's, it's closeups of a hand building a buck. Or is that Valcimer or Bruce Willis?

No, Bruce Willis and City Poitiers and Richard Gear. Yes. And Jack Black has a horrific death in that movie. Yes. Yes. Yeah. With the gun. I know exactly. Yeah.

But there's, so in the trailer, there's like close-ups of the hand of hands, his hands, like building a bomb and wiring stuff. And the voiceover is, in his own way, he's an artist. And this will be his masterpiece. I was like, dude. Are these the images and lines to put, especially with the. way the country is. Is that the best thing to be saying right now? I am an artist.

Because the doc, the documentary, if you were alive for the Oklahoma City bombing and at the exact same time, what was going on was Richard Kukklinsky. So people were linking, thinking that the Unabomber was the Oklahoma City bomber. Right. And then it was like, but you're right. There was this like fever where all anyone wanted to talk about was Oklahoma City bombing. Yep. So there was an exact that was cutting it where the guy, the voiceover guy goes, I can't do this.

I can't do this. I don't. And they go do it. And he goes, this. This is his art. I mean, I lost a cousin. My cousin worked in the federal building in Oklahoma City. And this is his masterpiece.

Yeah. Guys, what the fuck are we doing? Yeah, there is like this. Do you want to get your deck stained or not? Yeah. But there is this like sensitivity where you go, maybe we don't do this right now. Maybe it's not the same with, look, I love Eli Roth. And this probably isn't even Eli's fault.

Again, they cut the trailers. You have very little control. But it was right after all of the, the Trayvon Martin death. Yeah. And again, all the students, his remake of Death Wish. Oh, yeah. And the trailer is, he's like in a hoodie and you, I've got to protect what's mine. And then there's this hot blonde with big boobs.

you're locked and loaded baby i'm like these are not the best images we're putting out right now guys you guys are really putting some it's like starting an argument between a drunk couple there you go didn't you forget her at the airport one time and they go yeah you fucking did you bitch and then they're just in it you know you shouldn't have done that yeah you're really shaking up a jar red ants there we go yeah exactly yeah you're just making everyone angry and there always is like i'm always amazed at that level of evil which i don't know if you can call it evil or if you you want to call it just pure apathy. I think it's pure apathy.

I think greed. Apathy caused by greed. Apathy caused by greed. And then the apathy is there to do so they can sue their own greed. They, they've looked in a mirror and gone, fuck, that's a really evil, greedy-ass thing to do. And then so the only way to pay it's like, well, I don't fucking give a shit. Look, it's the businessman. I'm balling, dude.

I'm balling out. Or then they'll do this shit where they're like, look, we all do this shit. They try to make it so that everyone is like, no, not everyone is corrupt and shitty as you. Which I feel like is the antithesis of how they got so many people in the Epstein shit, where they were just going like, what, man, we all go to the island. We party. Like, there might be guys that just went to Epstein Island that were like, dude, I did a business deal.

They said they would sign the deal if I went to this island. Listen, go watch or read Serpico. The first thing the corrupt cops do is like, hey, you want some free food? You want to go like, they immediately want you. Yeah. That meeting in the park? The first thing they want to do is get you on the payrolls. you can go, now you can't blow a whistle because you're on to do.

That's that meeting in the park with all the other cops. They go, yeah, we just do this. Come on, man. You're in. And by the way. And the first person that goes, hey, I don't want this. They're like, get rid of him. By the way, comics are no different.

We are no, we are the most corrupt cops where they go like this. Hey, you should really like, try to be funny. You try to be real. Try to be yourself. Try to be authentic and make people laugh. And you go, yes, protect and serve. That's all I want to do. And then you see the first guy that goes,

Well, I took the bit because I needed it Yeah, yeah, yeah He's like smoking a cigarette He goes, why wouldn't I take the bit? Well, he's not going to use it He's in fucking New Mexico So I took it and I took it to L.A. And you go, oh, that's corrupt

But then they do a small thing Where they go, I don't know I've got a lot of fans Why don't you come on my podcast? You're like, oh fuck man I'm all fucking my compromise We could totally We could be a dirty cop in 2020s

Yeah, I mean, again I don't want to bring up the Riyadh thing But we could go down some very bad roads But there really is like a stuff like, get a taste. Come on, man, don't you want a little... It's the guy, baby, baby. It's the guy from Montreal. Have a little taste.

And you go, oh, yeah. Look, anyone you've ever... They've all had to fucking do it. Don't worry about, you know. Or it's like Denso Washington and Training Day. Yeah, listen, you got to do the shit so you can then do the stuff that... Then we can do the stuff that's good.

Yes, that's exactly what you're talking about. Meanwhile, I'm at home like a Chicago cop holding on with my wife. I'm like, don't you understand, Katie. I'm doing jokes about my dead dad. They're out there doing TikTok shit. I don't want to be posted on that. They're damn influencers acting like caps. I don't want to talk to the fucking crowd, but it's what everyone's doing now.

I do feel like Dennis Farina. Yeah. Just that whole thing. Dennis Farina. You know, I don't know what am I doing here. I was a wise guy. They're not wise guys. But have you seen how now whenever Maria Vanford does crowd work, she'll give the person $20.

because you're working. That's so great. You should get money for this. It's the same as when you go to the store and they have the automatic bagger thing. You're like, are you going to pay me for putting in and out time doing shit? I think the sign of a Hall of Fame, all-time joke is that whenever you do something, you think of someone's bit. I cannot bag my own groceries without thinking of Bill Burr's joke about work. the self-checkout line where he goes,

oh, this whole time I thought I was a comedian, turns out I was late for my shift at the grocery store. He does this whole thing. I think of that line every time I'm bagging it, where it's like, oh, yeah, no, I work at the grocery store. Well, I did a bit, and I stopped doing it because it was so grim, but it was real. I mean, it got last, but I got sad doing it.

Do you remember when the self-checkout things first came out, and they had the other checkout, the actual checkout, people teaching you how to use it. Teaching you how to replace them. They go, I'm going to be obsolete. Yeah, but they made the humans in the store come over and go, this is how I'm out of a job. They still do that.

Let me show you. Which is the fucking. It's the most cook chair shit in the world where they go, you sit right there in your chair. Yeah. Watch the computer do it faster. But like part of you wants to go, no, let me, let me go over to your aisle and let you. No, no, no, I don't want you get replaced. I will go out of my way.

Please. I will go out of my way to check out with a human being. Yeah, me too. To be like, I won't use those things. I feel terrible. Bag of meat. Look at me, bag of meat. Yeah.

Scan the things that bring me fuel. It's 545. You just put in eight hours work. And we need you to put in another 20 minutes here at the store. Because I'm going to tell you. By the way, none of your groceries are going to be cheaper. You get no discount for doing this. And I, if I'm going to do that, I'm going to take smoke breaks with the guys that work at the grocery store.

Yeah. You're going to be like, where are you? There's an aisle. It's backed up. And I'm going to steal some yogurt pretzels out of the bulk bins. Like everyone else does. I mean, my God, I do, honestly, one of the things I do miss about working a shitty job is stealing from a place that I thought was fucking me over. Yes.

It's a good youth thing to go through. It's a very good youth thing to do. Where you go, because you feel like you take a little bit of the power back. Yeah, a little bit of the, no matter where you work. Because you're, you are making someone else money and you're, and you're throwing away. Especially if it's a large corporation. I'm talking about small businesses. No, if you're working for, you know, but I'm, you're, if you're working for, you know, but I'm, you're, you're,

a massive chain. I worked for bedbath and beyond. Oh. And this is when I was saving up money to move to you. Oh, so that's why they went out of business because of your shit. Because I just was in the middle taking those chocolate bars out of the sheets, eating a whole chocolate bar and then hiding it in like the plastic of a down comforter. Like you know how many people in Tucson, Arizona bought down comforters went home and took it out of the bag and found a lint wrapper? Oh, man.

Stuffed in the thing where they were like, why is there a chocolate wrapper? They thought they were charlie in a chocolate after me. They're like, why's their chocolate under me? Just because 21-year-old me was eating chocolate and shoving it in there. The Arizona Chocolate Phantom. I can't believe I'm talking to him. Wow.

I thought it was an urban myth. Apparently it's real. The Arizona Chocolate Phantom. If that's not the real of this episode, I'm never podcasting again. Dude, I can't tell you how much this meant that you were able to change your schedule and come and hang out.

I was glad you were to, because my schedule got fucked today. So this is great, man. You are an all-timeer. one of my favorite comedians. I said this to you when we hung out in Grand Rapids with Brandon Sagalow. That's right. Which was very fun. And also Sagalow didn't want to do this, but yours favorite comedian.

Really? He was just like the whole time like, dude, this is surreal. You did a guest spot where we were at Dr. Grins. And I stayed and watched your set and it was fucking so goddamn hilarious. I really appreciate that. It was so chaotic and real. And it was like the, I don't want to gush too much, but it was one of those things where, I mean, I did a guest set.

I did very well. But then you came in and it was you in the audience clicked on this other level. And I just kind of sat back and went, oh, here we go. And it was so fucking great. I'm having you're, I'm going to have you cut that exact piece. I'm going to play that when I'm on a plane fucking sliding mentally. Oh, here we go. But, you know, as I told you in Grand Rapids, truly your HBO one night stand, yours

and Dave Chappelle's are truly the reason, same season. That's right. I can still quote most of the half hours, both. both yours and Dave's. I can do the whole Nick Noltee is on solo. I can do the whole Cops bit. I can do Piss Drinkers Inc. as I said earlier.

Wow. But truly set me on my way to doing stand-up because I watched you and Dave Chappelle and I was like, well, I want to do that. Thanks, I remember that. So just the fact that you went and hung out and how cool of a guy you are, it means the world to me.

This is like the best. Thanks, Pat Oswald. The special June 9th on... On YouTube. You can get it now. Gorilla Plus Comedy News streaming app. has all your favorites on it. Me, David Cross,

everyone's on there. But then on June 9th, it'll be on YouTube. That's, I'm telling you right now, the thing about YouTube specials, that's great, is when people hear that, they go, I have access to that.

You can just watch it right now. You just watch it right fucking now. You don't need to go sign up for anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fucking great. We'll check out a special, June 9th. This rules, you rule.

Thank you. Thanks, man.