Soder - 135: Behind the Instrument with Isabel Hagen | Soder Podcast | EP 133

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

Support the sponsors to support the show!Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code SODER at checkout to get 30% off sitewide. This offer is not available anywhere else.https://brooklynbedding.com/Find your forever cookware @hexclad and get 10% off at hexclad.com/SODER #hexcladpartner From May 22nd through June 8th, shop HexClad’s Summer Sale and unlock free gifts worth up to $229https://hexclad.com/?utm_source=SODER&utm_medium=Podcast&amount=10percentOur listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/SODER — and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #adhttps://www.warbyparker.com/?&wpsrc=Podcast&singular=59085_2026Q1?utm_campaign=2026Q1&utm_content=audio&utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=soderF*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code SODER15 attheperfectjean.nyc/SODER15 #theperfectjeanpodhttps://theperfectjean.nyc/?utm_source=Soder&utm_medium=Podcast&amount=15percentThe Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city!Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tourJune 1-2 Key West,FLJune 5 - Newark,NJJune 13 - Mill Valley,CA - Special TapingJuly 9-11 Batavia,ILJuly 16-18 Stamford,CTJuly 31 - August 1 - Albany,NYAugust 13-15 Baltimore,MDAugust 20-22 Spokane,WASeptember 18-19 Manchester,CTOctober 2-3 Bernalillo,NMOctober 22-24 Calgary,ABNovember 5-7 Salt Lake City,UTDecember 10-12 Rochester,NYFollow Isabel Hagenhttps://www.instagram.com/isabelhagen_/?hl=enhttps://www.isabelhagen.com/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVCSGKxJ5tQPLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572Connect with SoderTwitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoderInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoderTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoderYoutube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy#dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcastProduced by  Mike Lavin     https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

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Hey, everybody. If you are in Key West, Florida, June 1st and June 2nd, I'm going to be doing Comedy Key West. Go to Dan Soder.com to get those tickets. And then if you live in the Bay Area, we are going to open up more tickets for this special June 13th. I'm probably going to do that through Instagram. So keep a lookout on my Instagram. Outside of that, got a huge announcement coming up of all the clubs I'm going to be hitting soon, including the Comedy Vault in Batavia. We also got, what else we got? coming up. We got New York Comedy Club in Stanford. That's going to be awesome.

The Port in Baltimore and a bunch of other clubs where I'm working on the building the new hour, so we're going to have an announcement soon with a poster and everything. It's not a tour because it's not really a tour. It's just me on the road building a new hour. But we're going to let you know what all those cities are, dates all throughout the rest of the

year very, very soon. I appreciate you watching the podcast. And of course, I appreciate you coming out to the show because doing stand-up fucking rules. and you guys are the best audiences. That's what everyone says when I bring them on the road. They go, damn, these audiences rule. And that's because of you.

It's because of you. So I appreciate that. Dancerder.com for tickets. Enjoy the episode. I think people like Inside Baseball about stand-up to a certain extent. Right. I'm a huge pro-wrestling fan. I could listen to Inside Baseball about pro wrestling all day.

Okay. Like, I watched a video on YouTube one time of Stone Cold Steve Austin talking about the different ring sizes between companies and how it affected his matches in a way that I was like, this is for a very few nerdy wrestling fans. Right, right. Because he's just talking about how the speed of it changed the momentum of the match and shit.

And I'm like, oh, I want to listen to that. But anybody that isn't a wrestling fan would be like, what the fuck are they talking about? What about actual wrestlers? You think it's interesting to them? Or is it like two? It's still kind of like... Young wrestlers, I think the way that we get interested when we hear people that,

thanks buddy, that we like comedy talk about comedy, I think, it's like I could listen to Colin Quinn talk about comedy for hours. Totally. I could listen to Chris Rock. I could listen to Adam Sandler, you know, I was like listening. Norm was always funny, but yeah, I love inside baseball for that. But I think sometimes comedy podcasts can slip too easily. into like, but then the green room.

Right. Oh, well, are you past there? Oh, well, you know, oh,

you know, Brian? Yeah. Also, there's a lot of things now where, like, um,

people could see your comedy, so you can't talk about it if you suck. Right. Because they'll go, well, I'll just watch your shit. Let me watch one clip.

Let me find out if this is true in 30 seconds. Yeah. Or even if you see somebody in a room, I've watched very popular podcasters do stand up and go like, and you go on yours and say you're good at this. Yeah.

Great. But that is also like, so you said we were fixing the mics. Hey, welcome to my podcast. I never do a real intro. I don't know why I'm doing this. This is Isabella Hagan.

Please watch her special. She's hilarious. It's on a website that I tried operating. And it made me feel very old. And I said, I was going to remember. What's it called? It's on Veeps.

Veeeps. Vee EPS.com. Go watch her special. Isabella Hagan at the bitter end. Which you think, oh, she's out of her bitter end, but no, you did a show at the bitter end. It was my first special,

so I thought it would be funny to call it at the bitter end, too. Well, we're talking about comedy nerd. You know what happened in that room. Well, I know that Carlin's been there and stuff. Yeah, yeah. But like, both, versions of Pryor.

When he moved to the city from Peoria, Illinois, and was doing, like, clean and, like, nice. He was working, like, both versions of Carlin and Prior did the bitter end. Right. I'm buttoned up in a suit, isn't that, like, that shit, and then the long hair or the fucking. Like the tie-dye, Carlin. Yeah.

Or Pryor after he went to Berkeley and was wearing, like, DeSikis and shit and being like, yeah, I suck dick, I'm a dick to do it. Which is crazy. Watch Pryor's special. I think it's called Up and Smilk. smoke, it's like a really shitty thing that was shot at the New York improv and he bombs. But you like see the beginning of a lot of bits that became like huge. It's fun to watch really good comics like before they get fully good.

Like there's a lot of late night sets you can watch of comics early on. And you're like, I see it though. Like there's like one joke where you see a glimmer of who they become. And you're like, oh. The best example of that is the HBO young comedians special from 1990. I think. Can you look this up? I think it's 1995.

It is Dave Chappelle, Louis C.K., Dave Attell, and someone else. And all three of those guys, there's moments where they slip into the thing where you go, that's like, like, Louis. Louis's doing, like, joke jokes. And then he has a moment where he's like Louis. Right. Same with Atel. A tell's the one that you notice the most.

Because he tells doing jokes, then he does like a, well, maybe I did it. You're like, that's it. Yeah. In the biopic, that was. would be the moment where someone goes, that's the song. Right. Right. Yeah. But something that we were fixing the mics for that I wanted it with young comedians. By Gary Shanling. By Gary Shanling. And it's Chappelle, Louis, Attel, who else? Harlan Williams? No. I think it's the guy from Boston Common. What was that actor? I want to get the full

lineup. We'll get it. Sometimes we get stuff in real time and you watch it. But Isabel. Anthony Clark. I don't know who he is, but Anthony Clark, who you would know from the USA Show Boston Common and did a bunch of other stuff. But that special is crazy because you watch him go like,

oh, you have it for just a split second. I have to watch that. I've watched some old, like, Louis late night stuff. And he's doing like a lot of absurdist things that he kind of drops. That's what that is. And then all this,

but then you see one like premise where you're like, that's such a Louie math kind of premise. Where he talks shit about his life in a way where you go, no one's doing that. No one's fucking doing that. You, what's crazy is you are a classically trained musician.

Yeah. And in a way, I don't mean like you played the piano for three years. You played the viola? Yeah. The viola, which is insane because it's, this is an outsider speaking. To me, it represents like actual art. Like actual art to me is like painting, music in a, strings sense.

I don't know why guitar doesn't do it for me, but a piano in like the viola, the violin, the cello. Yeah, well, guitar's been butchered by like singer-songwriters. And guys at college trying to get pussy.

Yeah, yeah, there's like an ulterior motive. No one's, no one's playing the viola to get pussy. I mean, I don't know. There could be some sweet Asian pussy

that comes up at the end of that. I don't know. I mean, I will also say like classical musician girls are generally pretty hot. Yeah. They are, you guys are also like kept in your tower. Yeah.

You have to practice for so long. We are like an untat. I remember I dated a drummer for a few years. Sure. I think it was him who said this because I got like a jazz drummer. And he would meet all my friends and just be like, oh my God. Like you guys got to get in this classical music world. All their friends are so fucking hot.

Just him going back and be like, you have no idea what I found Eldorado of pussy. It's just they're all trapped behind these sheets. of music. They're buried under this avalanche of notes. Was he in like a jazz band? Because to me, jazz drumming is still art. It's still art, but he wasn't meeting this group

of girls. But yeah, I mean... God, you guys are such nerds that jazz drummers are bad boys. Oh, they're like, yeah, totally. But they're like, sunglasses on and they're like, did I tell you, we smoke weed? Meanwhile, real drummers are like, I woke up from a heroin overdose.

And then I wrote this. Well, because Juilliard has a jazz program. Yeah. So those were like the bad boys. But then there were the classical percussionists who were like the six mallet marimba players. But they were also like a hot level above the like, you know, guys who played violin. So at Juilliard, because you went to Julia. Yeah.

Which is look it up. If you don't know, it is like an elite form. It's an elite art school. I would say it's the school. Yeah. Yeah. The most famous one. At what age did you think Juilliard was an option?

Oh, well, I went to their preparatory program on like on Saturdays. So honestly, since age... Did you grow up in New York? Yeah. So you're a city kid. I'm a city kid since age 12 where my brother went before me. So I was like, oh, he can go. I could go, you know.

For my simple brain, athletics-wise, this is like you come from a basketball family that's like going to go play at a top. like you're going to North Carolina. Yes. And you're like, my brother went there. I was going to go. So like, was your parents kind of letting you know, like, you kids are going to learn instruments and you're going to go to Juilliard?

Not Juilliard. My dad's a jazz sax player. So he had a very, like, chill approach to it. But he's like a lover of learning and, like, was learning music theory, just like self-teaching himself. And so he was, like, teaching us triads on the piano and just being like, just wanted to, like, expand our mind. Sure.

And then we got really, and then because they were like paying for lessons, they're like, you're going to practice. But they were also kind of like, don't go to a music conservatory, go to like a real school where you can have like a broader options. Sure. But my brother and I were both like, no, fuck that. We just wanted to do music because we were so like focused and nerdy about it. Did that feel like your choosing or did you feel like you were kind of like led to the water? It was super my choosing because I was so like isolated and had no social skills. and like all I could do was like, I had some friends,

but I was just like practicing and I was like, this is what I'm good at. All my friends play music. I'm just, this is my world. And I don't mean to dance on your pain, but ain't nothing better than hearing a lonely girl play a viola from a faraway room. How haunting is that? It's that sadness of no social life.

Oh, yeah. And this is, yeah. I am impressed by the discipline of it. I would say musicians that do, you know, whether it's woodwinds or like the pianos and stuff like that, to me that's like the same discipline as I think about Mike Vecchioan with wrestling, where I'm like, you have to watch your diet, you have to like exercise. Is he a wrestler?

Yeah, he was a collegiate wrestler. Oh, shit. Which makes a lot of sense. It does make sense. And I lived with him for 10 years. And he's the most self-disciplined person I've ever seen in my life. Really? As far as diet, exercise, doing the things.

But you realize those were fundamentally built. as a child wrestling, him coming up through wrestling, the way that probably you have disciplines in ways that you're like, oh, that's good for comedy. Totally. It's transferable. That's why like, it's okay if you're serious about something and then you quit it, you still get that discipline, which is like, that's the thing.

So do you have an easier time sitting down and writing jokes? I think so. Because of the, the reason I ask that is because of the repetition of, like, practicing, do you get pissed if people say violin by accident? Not anymore. But you did. I used to be like, oh, actually, and now I just, I'm already so, like, border unlikable because

of my, like, I, so I let it ride, you know. Yeah, I mean, that is a thing where when you were, when you were coming, when you were growing up, were you territorial about it? Like, well, I was around mostly people who just definitely knew that, like, it was mostly just other string players. So there was no issue. And, but I was very, like, proud of it. And also, there's a.

tradition of like viola jokes. Like the viola is the butt of the, like it's the one we make fun of in the orchestra. Really? So I was always like telling viola jokes and like really leaning into the like self-hating identity of a violist. That's interesting to learn. Those tuba players, they don't like self-deprecation. It's probably the instrument that makes them feel bad, walking around going,

when you play the fat guy walking instrument, you can't really be self-deprecated. I'm always, well, because I grew up, like, the transferable thing was I was, you know, which is kind of hacky, I was the class clown, but I was the guy at work that I was get in trouble for being funny. And then I realized that was transferable to comedy. Like, just, like, take that and do. You realize being funny was transferable to comedy? Well, yeah, that's how stupid I am.

And this is why I stayed away from woodwind instruments. But I just, I think honestly, and this is kind of embarrassing, I didn't realize that. No, I like went into comedy and I went, write jokes and you stand there and you tell jokes. And I was like, oh, I have the skill of like, just bring the energy that you have getting in trouble at work to stand. That was when things started to click, which on paper you go, yeah, dip shit. Be funny in the funny place. I think that's right.

A lot of comedians, like new comedians, I think they forget they're supposed to be funny. Yeah. And they get really into like the math of the joke. That was exactly what happened. where I was so insecure about my actual joke writing that I was like, no, there has to be a premise and a setup and a punch

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What was it like coming into the world of comedy out of what made you get into comedy? I was, it was a few things. Like I have really bad performance anxiety and my handshake. Great for stand up holding a microphone. I mean, I clutch it and it's kind of my persona, honestly.

It's a lot better than trying to play a viola. when you're shaking. So that would happen to you? That would happen. And the older I got, the more serious I was taking it and, like, pressure I was putting on myself. It was just botching everything. Like, it's a miracle.

I didn't botched my Juilliard audition. But I was just, like, really falling on my face in a lot of situations. Was it like a thing where if the audience was there, you were shaking? But if you were by yourself, you're just like fucking, yeah, yeah. No, I'm like, I was like, oh, I sound so good. I can't wait. I'm not going to lie. This isn't helping you beat the same.

that girl in the tower allegation. You're just softly playing something whimsical. Oh, yeah, but I just, like, I wanted to give it up. I felt like, oh, I suck at this instrument. Like, I'm not getting any better. I just don't want to do this anymore. And then I would watch, like, it was kind of the time when, like, Louie started putting a lot of stuff on YouTube, I feel like, maybe.

But, like, my roommate from Iceland was like, have you heard of this? Sorry. I love it. No, because the Icelandic accent, the way they are, they're very, like, and this is a, I have a small. sample size, I've only been to Reykjavik once, but they're very like, do you hear about it? They're very like, I'm sorry to all the Icelandic people that are watching. You're beautiful people.

Yeah. You're all inbred, but you're beautiful people. But they're very, I was doing this joke because I went to Sweden and Iceland, and I went, like, the joke was I went to Sweden and I found out that I'm half boring because my family's half Irish and half Swedish. And you're like, oh, no, man, I'm half boring. And then I was like, and then I went to Iceland. and the people in Iceland made the Swedes look Italian.

Like the way that they're like, I know, you like, relax the fish is open. You're like, are you mad at me? It's a virtuosic practicality over there. Yeah, they're very like, listen, you live on a tiny island in a very cold part of the northern hemisphere. You're going to be like, Watio, Juan, why are you here?

Right. Why are you here? I don't trust you. Shami al-Sard. Whereas, like, they don't have the equator where they can be hot and naked. Right, right. And being like, come here. I love you.

It is in the north like, I do not trust you. You came to ashore. You want fish soup? So, but your neighbor, your roommate from Iceland was like, were you exposed to comedy at all before that? Yeah, so my brother would watch George Carlin and I would always be like, Anne Chappelle, like early Chappelle. And I was like, this is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

I think I caught like an early Bill Maher special on cable one time even and was like, that was amazing. Like, he calls it back at the end. Like I just loved. First time seeing a call. callback, you go, black people with street magic. You go, yeah. You're like,

I was the first time. Keep talking about that earlier. It was like more impactful than the first time I came, you know? That's so funny. A callback being better than the first orgasm. A Bill Maher callback. It's like, okay. I've never liked him.

And I don't give a shit. I know it's cool to hate Bill Mar now. That smarty fuck always bugged me. And I went through the 18 to 22 year old phase of getting heavily, heavily into Bill Hicks. Heavily into Bill Hicks. Shout out, Celeste. This girl I went to college with, she gave me a DVD of all the Hicks stuff. And I, like, would watch it nonstop and listen to the albums.

And then I found out politically incorrect was written for Bill Hicks. And then he died. And Bill Maher took it over. And I was like, man, fuck. All my homies hit Bill Maher. Yeah. I was just at the tail end of the era where you still would, like, give someone your CD or your, you know,

there's something so romantic to that. Oh, a CD. Or here's my DVD. Yeah, DVD was, for me it was CDs. Yeah. Early 2000s, Doug Stanhope became one of my favorite of all time because of all, like, comics in Arizona would give each other burnt CDs and you'd be like, oh, you haven't heard. So it's like, I know Stanhope hours that I don't know the hour, just known by the bits,

because I'd listen to that CD so much. But, you know what was as special that, because. of the CD changed was David Spades take the hit. I watched it back in the day and thought it was funny, but Bargettze was obsessed with it. And we would listen to it. And I was like, this is one of my favorite hours because you're listening to it.

And when you listen to something, you really like give your time to it. You know, I don't know. You mean like versus watching it or just like? We're driving, listening to it. And so there's nothing else to do but just look at the road and listen to the stand up. And that was how I listened to a.

a lot of albums. And then no one listens that way anymore because we have the competing phone. But I know just from being on the bonfire with like a lot of truckers as fans and shit and having YouTube and stuff, people like to listen while they're driving. Podcasts and standup though. Standup is still popular for people to listen to. Right. Which I think is without seeing it live, outside of seeing it live, I think the best way

is to listen to it while driving. Not watch a special. I think for different people. I think my preferable thing is I like to drive and listen to an album. Yeah, well, because you can't focus on anything else except the road and the... And that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's like, probably because of my age, I romanticize stuff with it.

Like, when I used to listen to Bill Burr's emotionally unavailable, there's a point where I was doing comedy where I could hear them printing the checks to do the check spot. And I went, oh, he's really, because he did it at the laugh house in Philadelphia. And you're like, how he's doing it at like a club. Like you can hear like that. You can hear the chits coming up and you're like, oh, fuck. And that just to me, I heard that because I was listening to it. Right.

Not because I was watching a special. Right, right. I was like, oh, fuck, I can hear that. And there is like more of a, I don't know, if you're taking out senses. Yes. You're kind of almost watching it more. You're hyper focused on it. But with you, with the state, that's why I'm so intrigued by the stage fright thing.

when did that start becoming a problem? It was always kind of, I would always be a little shaky when I played, but I kind of got through it. And then I started getting nervous about getting nervous. You know, I'd anticipate the nerves. And then I was done.

I got total yips. I would take beta blockers that like slow down your heart rate. That would help a little. But was there a moment taking the beta blockers where you go, were you just like frustrated where you're like, well then fuck, I'm like, I can't do this without taking a fucking pill.

Like there's no, I didn't feel ashamed. Like I don't judge anyone who takes them. But it's just for me, I was like, Like, why can't I just do this? Like, what's wrong with me? What was your way out of it?

Well, and then I got an injury. I got, like, a repetitive stress injury while I was at school just from, like, you know, from ripping. From ripping? It's like, oh, no, this? Oh, sorry, I got this injury from just absolutely. Are you familiar with Mozart? Yeah.

No, it was the box third partita, I think, that did me in. No way. That's crazy that you have a jeopardy answer for your injury. A lot of people go, I was a, I was a running. I was a running back in high school, is the second and seven. Isabel's like, yeah,

I don't know if you're familiar with the overture where it's fucking crazy. I mean, it's just, it's meant for violin. The viol is a little wider. So you're playing violin music on an instrument, it's even like,

just really hard on your hand. And I, I just kept getting hurt. So I was taking time off. And then I was in New York because Juilliard's in New York. So I just wanted to say I went to Juilliard again. You go.

Sorry, I love my junior sweatshered in the other room. I went to Julia. Yeah. You forgot. But so then I just started going to open mics because I think I met like a wannabe comedian at a party, someone who was doing mics. And he was like, well, I'd do stand up. And I was like, how do you do it?

And he's like, oh, you just go to open mics. Worse than being introduced to a sex club or a fight club is being introduced to low level New York City open mics. I started open mics in Tucson. It laughs. It was a comedy club. It was a show. Right. even though it was an open mic.

What a concept. People would come, there would be an audience, and then you come to New York open mics and you go, what the fuck is this? It's six guys not listening, and you're just waiting to talk on a stage that's two feet by one foot. There's nothing like it. And I think,

I mean, in a way, it takes longer, because you can't get accurate feedback, but also the pain and the shame is something you get exposed to so quickly. I think it's a good, like it toughens you really quickly. If I were in the corporate world,

I would do a team building exercise where we go sign up for a mic together at 5 p.m. And everybody watches each other bomb. That would be the best. Because you go, where's your ego at? Oh, yeah. Because then anytime you're in a group think meeting and you go, no, no, no ideas or bad ideas. Remember when he thought it was a good idea to talk about his wife and he fucking ate shit? And you're like, oh, oh, my, you're all.

That's why it's crazy to me that guys that I went to mics with are now famous community. Because you go like, I remember a couple of mics. Oh. Like Norman Lists and I would watch each other just at Bargettze. I watched Nate. I watched Nate let go. I literally watched him. It was at the Broadway Comedy Club.

Used to have this side room called The World. And they would bark in people from Times Square most of the time that did not speak English. Right. And they'd put a, they'd put a comic. And then they'd do like four barkers and then another comic. But the barkers would be doing stand up. So it was. a nightmare show.

And I watched Nate one time. He went first, soft-spoken, just doing his jokes. They're not listening. And I watched him just go like, man, y'all aren't even. And then he just like, I watched him fall back. And it truly unlocked him.

And he started. You need that. Yeah. Like if you're just doing mics in places where it's kind of like a decent show, you might not have that moment as, I mean, you'll have it eventually. Yeah, but that moment of like,

I trust myself. Right, right. That's what I saw him have. Because what's funny is if you look at his first album, yelled at by a clown, the way the title is, is the way that he used to get through bombing, where you go, y'all aren't even listening.

Track two. Oh, y'all are getting up for the bathroom, track three. Oh, this joke's starting to work. It's really funny. In fact, I have it. Oh, shit. But see, if you look at it,

the way it's titled, it's like titled like he's giving up. It's like, I hope the crowd is great. Number two, I'm losing them. Three, I got them back. Four, what if I just walked off stage and never came back? Five, I can't do that.

Can I tell you what's even interesting? I know I'm doing a lot of Nate Bargettzee stuff. You know, go see the breadwinner in theaters now. I think this picture on the back is from the night he got LASIC. He's like, whole, because his hat, we did a show in Brooklyn, and he did stand up the night he got LASIC. No one knows. I don't know why I just.

remembered that, but he will confirm that. But see what I mean? Track 16, I'm hungry. Oh, this is great. Track number nine, where's that guy going? Track 10, I hope he comes back. Track 11, probably went to the bathroom. Track 12, or to smoke.

Track 13, or is he walking out and never coming back? That's like, yeah. But then, I don't know. That's just such a. It's a give up. It's great. So with your yips, was there a, moment that you were like,

fuck it, I'm either, because I think the worst part about Yips is you go into it. It's like being nauseous. If you're like, don't feel nauseous, you're gonna throw up.

Oh, yeah. Versus going just like, let me puke. There was no, with classical music, you can't really be like, you know, fuck it,

just play. Like, you know what Bach needs? My twist on it. It's not like, save the last dance where she's like auditioning for Julia and then she like

does her own, like that's not how it works, you know? I completely forgot that she's on issue for Giuliarna in that movie. And that makes me want to know, did you want to do a hip-hop thing with your viola? Not ever. No.

You do still D-R-E. And they're like, okay. Welcome to Juliet. No, there's like no reward for like doing your own thing. They go, you fucked up the thing that everyone's supposed to nail. Yeah, yeah. How many, like what's the timeline of you getting nervous to the beta blockers to you being like,

fuck, I'm not going to use the bed of blockers. Well, I still, occasionally will even use them. Stop a little beep-bee. I mean, you know. Take a little beep-bee if I'm feeling nasty. You know, makes you feel nice and dead inside. It's, uh, well, so I had a bunch of college auditions.

The first one I had was for, uh, New England Conservatory, botched it like, didn't expect the, I wasn't ready for the pressure. What is the pressure of that? You go into an empty room with like, you go in a room with like five teachers there. And you have a,

maybe it prepared like an hour of repertoire and they just ask you play this and then they stop you after like two minutes okay now play this and so you're you could ask you for anything of like an hour yeah this is everything I know yeah yeah everything I've prepared for this audition which is like a full concerto a full box suite you know an atude uh all the scale I don't know maybe not the scale maybe it was pre-college anyway so I just love the fact that there is maybe one I hope one to five fans that know exactly what you were talking about yeah Maybe. My audience, I'd put it at one to five people.

There's probably a truck driver who played some violin back in the day. This little son of a bitch. I remember the Kreutzer ages. Oh, this girl's speaking my language. Ha, ha. But so, yeah, like, I played so badly that I could see, like, they looked really, like, they felt sorry for me. Would they do, did they, do they ever do the thing where they go, you can do that again?

I had that happen once in a master class. where I played and then he was like, do you want to do that again? And then he said, if I were you, I'd want to do that again. Oh, no. It was so bad. I want to kill myself. Oh, I mean, I did. I did want to.

If I were you, that's, can I say, that's not your fault. That's his fault. That's a character flaw with that guy. You didn't hear how badly I played though, but. Did you do the thing around? Like, it's just like my hands like fell off the instrument. I try, you know, it's like messing up in a skating routine, you know? It should, but you're just falling.

I mean, you're talking to a guy that watched. a lot of figure skating over the Winter Olympics. So did I. I'm an Ola Sulu guy. Oh, that was like, should I just quit stand up and try to like go back to playing viola? Because she was like, I tried, what was it, like some, another sport. Well, she was at the Olympics in Beijing.

And she was 16. She's very young. And she didn't do well, didn't meddle, kind of was over it, was too stressed out. And then lived her life and went on a ski trip. Right. And really loved skiing. And she was like, if I could. find the competitiveness of this.

Obviously, I'm doing a paraphrased version of this. She was like, I felt the fight. And I was like, well, I'm already good at skating. So why don't I just use this fight? So that's when I was like, oh, should I just take the fight of stand-up and just go back to viola? That's the problem with when you watch someone be their true selves. Because if you haven't watched Alyssa Loo's program from the Olympics, it is perfect.

The Donna Summer song, the way that she, when she lands that first and it kicks into the disco. You're like, this is, and you, the thing that Katie and I was talked about is how happy she was doing it. There's a picture of her that they took from the top where she's spinning and she's smiling and you're like, this girl's just live in her best life. Yeah. But, uh, I wonder how many people that motivated in the wrong way, where people went like, yeah, it's like the way a good romance movie, like how Stella got her groove back probably broke up some good relationships. Right. Right, right, right. Because they're like, no, I should want to fuck on a beach all the time.

It's like, not really. Right. That should be a flavor, but that can't be the whole flavor. When Harry met Sally, like these like toxic situation shifts, they're like, we should be together. And that's why Rob Reiner was murdered. And that is the payment for his sins. It's just like miserable merry couples like, fuck you, Rob Reiner. Rob Reiter, we fucking had it.

But yeah, because sometimes, you know, for individuals, their thing is going to make you think. So it made you go like, maybe the. Did you pull it out? I mean, you bust it out and go like, yeah, right. Let's dance, baby.

Did the devil went down to Georgia? I told my husband that night I was like, I think I'm going to start practicing again. Really? Then I didn't. How many people just that one night? I mean, I was like,

I was drunk off how great of a performance that way. It truly made me be like, fuck I love the Olympics. Yes. I love them so much. Because you see people just like, that's why the quad god i don't know if you watched him uh he's the only guy that can land like a quadruple axle okay he does a backflip and he's like he's the only one that can in the world that can do

this move yeah and he came in and everyone's like this guy it was an afterthought that he was going to be a gold medalist he was the world champion this guy's got everyone was like you can suck his dick he's going to win and then he didn't and he fucked up and he missed his move and he didn't even be he placed like fifth and he like didn't even medal And I was watching, I was like, this is why I love the Olympics, because this is the start of the 2030 redemption arc, where we're all going to forget about it in our fucking social media lives, but 2030, wherever the Winter Olympics are,

you're going to be like, oh, yeah, Quad God. And now I'm cheering for him because he had the failure. And then he nails it in and everyone's crying. Yes, that's what I want. Because Alyssa Lou is a great story, but the reason it's a great story is because of the failure in 2016. Right. People don't realize that.

And her coaches were like, you can't come back. Like, this isn't going to, this isn't going to work. Yeah, and she was like, if I come back, I'm going to do it my way. And I think that's, did you ever have a moment like that with music? Well, that's kind of what I'm doing by playing it in stand-up. Yes. That's what it is. Which on the special, you do both.

Yeah, yeah. Which is great. It's mostly jokes, but then I bring it. It's like a whole thing I do later on in it. But it's like a way for me to play where I'm like, first of all, comedy fans are just like, wow, an instrument. Like, I've never seen that before. You are, you are showing five.

hired a caveman. Yeah, yeah. And so, you're going like, that we're going like, that's a real talent. Ah,

I make noises and buzz sounds. When was the first time you busted out? When did you, when did you do the mashup? When did the worlds collide? Four years in, I was, I had just done stand up.

And I even did like a tonight show set with no viola. I did JFL with no viola. Like, I was like, I wanted to prove myself that I could do stand up, you know? And,

but right, that was happening, I was like, it would be cool. Like, I think I headlined for my first time and I was, you know, I wasn't very, I wasn't good at headlining it. I was good at doing 10 minutes. Very hard at doing 45 minutes when you've never done it. It's like running a marathon without running a long distance. And see, I'm interrupting you now. No, we were talking about this off mic about I know I interrupt and she, I just get excited. I'm like, oh my God. You were saying with the episode, I go, my, my problem is I get so excited that I'm like, I have a thought right now. We're just vomiting words.

For the people that have stuck with me, your real ones. I have DMs with people where I go, I'm trying, dude. I'm trying. And they'll be like, I know. And then you'll see what's the best thing. I know we're going off shoes. The best thing is I've seen people I've talked to on Instagram defend me in posts where someone goes, let him finish the story.

And someone will go, hey, he's trying. And you go, I am. I'm genuinely trying. Oh, it's beautiful when you get people who like really know you early. You don't even. I promise I'm not trying to fuck up your listening experience. I just get hit with these lightning bolts of questions or saying, you know, sentences.

You just got a turbo mind. Did you feel like taking, busting out the viola on stage was cheating? Well, I did until I was like, you know what? I know how to do stand up now. So let me, if I can find a way. Because what happened was if even if you have 45 minutes of jokes, which I technically did at that time, it's still a muscle of sustaining the crowd. if you're losing them knowing how to get them back,

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for people that are phenomenal at this job at how good they are at pacing and stuff. It's like Nate and Shane are the two generational talents that I know that I like, watch and you go, oh, they just, I remember when LeBron was 16. And I think it was Danny Aange was the front office guy. And they were like, you think this 60, he was on Sports Illustrated. You know, there was a lot of hype behind LeBron James. And someone was like, do you think he could

play in the NBA? And Danny Aange was like, I think there's like six to eight players that I wouldn't trade. Everyone else I'd trade to get this kid. And he said the reason that is because his court vision was unbelievable. You could see things that were going to happen before they would happen, which does, and I feel in stand-up, that's kind of like pacing. Like the way Louis or Attel can pace or Chris Rock or you just like watch it and you go like, oh, that's, that's an elite level that people don't understand how hard of a skill that is. Oh, yeah. Because when you have jokes, you go, I tell the joke, now I tell the joke, but it's like sitting in it. It takes a long time to learn. It's like being a jazz musician, kind of. I mean, there's a lot of, and it's musical.

And like so, so I, even though I wasn't good at the pacing, I still could sense that that was a skill I needed. Was that a transferable thing of like you kind of understanding like maybe secondary with the music? Definitely. Like with structure and like, okay, like a little theme here. Okay, like let me do all these. If I'm doing like a longer store, you can tell like, oh, you need to like build up to it. You can't. Like I just had sort of a musical sense about it.

It wasn't like I was good at it right away. But I at least had like the goal in mind. Yeah. But I did this like kind of dead headlining set. And of course I should have just been like, it was my first time headline. I'll just get better. But instead I was like, well, what if I brought the viola? And maybe this will make it like.

And so then I was like, it would be like another thing to offer. And I do feel like I'm like hiding a part of myself because I do have this skill that that's so much a part of me. I mean, you spent hours and hours and hours that totals days, weeks, maybe even months of practicing and learning it and like going over it. And like, yeah. From age five to, you know, at that time I was. Yeah.

And then I was like 26 when this was. was how 27 when this was happening. Can you read sheet music? Yeah. Like you just can pick it up and immediately know what it is. Yeah, like I go to recording sessions still where like for movies and it'll be like an orchestra. They just pop the music in front of us and we just read it down. It's like easy music usually, but.

That to me is the coolest thing in the world because it is like it's the same, it scratches the same part of my brain that people that know multiple languages, which I'm just fascinated by where I go like, oh, you can actually communicate with people. It is like being bilingual because like you see a note and you don't think that's a G. You just think that note means this physical reaction, you know? Where it's like watching people that have lived overseas and like, I asked Shane because he lived in Spain for a little bit. I'm like, do you know how you, he's like, if I hear it enough, I'm back, I had a friend that lived in Mexico City in middle school and he's like, give me like an hour and I hear it nothing but Spanish and I'm back in it. I'm like, yeah, I have none of that.

but you've got it with other stuff. I don't think I do. I genuinely don't think I do. I can take orders well. I was a waiter. That's where I spent a lot of my time. You can remember a lot of... Oh my God, your chips are running low.

I'm on it. You could recite those specials. Oh, I can read you back your drink order. What's so funny is the times when I was a waiter and I would try to stunt on him and be like, I don't need to write this down. And then you get to the micros and you go, fuck.

Going back, and going, that was, but trying to act like you're not losing face. Oh, I love that. Sorry, you wanted the mash. Yeah, that's exactly. And you just act like you really can. Like, I just want to get it right. I just want to make sure.

So that was, uh, you said, tacos. You go, fuck. So when you, when you bring out the viola for the first time headlining set, were you like, sorry, this is kind of a thing I do. I used to like hide it. Like, I used to get there early, hide it behind a curtain. And then at the end be like, do you want to realize some viola? Like it would be like a surprise or I'd have the host bring it up to me on stage at the end.

Like I didn't want people to see me come out with it. I'm still like, I'm a stand up. Yeah. But then at the end it's kind of like, and I. Yeah. This other thing. Don't worry. Shaquille O'Neal did that in his rap career.

There's a song called What's Up Doc? And he goes, at one point he goes, you all want me to shoot the ball? And they go, no. You want me to dribble the ball? No. You want me to slam dunk? And they're like, that was you at the V. Yo, oh, you were just, you were just, what's up, Doc?

Can we rock with it? Yeah, I think people were confused of us. Now sometimes it'll be like a crowd that came specifically for the viol, like, because they know me. So then I'll, I can tell they're waiting for it. They'll bust it out. That's when you go over and you put your hand over and they go, who are you going?

Not yet. You got to earn it. Not yet. With picking schools in the audition process when you're starting to have like the Yips, was Berkeley an option? They're more jazz. My husband went to Berkeley because he's more like... So he's a musician?

He's a musician. What does he play? He plays keys, but he's also like, I call him more of like a real musician because he can like play guitar, drums, bass, keys. Like he can, he can like jam and like he just has a more like wide understanding where I can like play the viola and like sing. But like... That's pretty sick.

Sing is a cool skill. Sing is very difficult. But I can't like just, you know, like I need things kind of written down. So he's just like literally plug and play. Yeah. Just give him an instrument, he'll figure it out. Kind of, yeah. Do you guys, so here's my question.

Katie, I think my favorite thing to do with Katie is watch stuff and make fun of it. That's like what we truly brings us the most joy of seeing something and making each other laugh by shitting on something. Do you guys jam? Do you guys like play music together? With two musicians is that you're like, like we watch bad TV because we're both silly gooses. Right.

We're silly geese. So when we watch something, we want to be silly geese together. but do two musicians? No, we like to watch shitty TV. So everybody does that. Yeah, because we... We're not original. We'll work together.

Yeah, I'm sorry. We're hacks. You're like something I like to do with my significant other. If you want to open the door and yell that she's a hack, but I go, Isabel calls you a hair. Yeah, it's not unique. That's a fun thing to do.

Yeah, I mean, I just wondered if, is there a musical version of that? Right. No, because we're always, we work together sometimes. Like, he wrote music for my movie or like, I'll help them. I'll lay down like a viola line on a track that he's making. So it still is like work.

So actually when we're playing together, I'm usually like kind of mean to him. I'm like, can we just like, look, let's go. Okay. Like, you know, that kind of thing. So it's- Put down a tasty lick on my- Like if he says like, I don't know, just can you just like do it?

And I'm like, what do you want me to do exactly? Tell me what to do. Like I only have so much amount of time. Like I get really, there's no joy. Yeah. Was that kind of, did that in any way going into comedy, save a little bit of joy with the viola because then it'd be stop becoming your primary yes no now like because i don't do it as much and comedy can be such a slog that like sometimes i'll play like a random

wedding gig just because i'll take five hundred dollars to play like 30 minutes at a ceremony whatever um and but we end up playing like a beautiful arrangement of like a ave maria and i'm like i love music like this is so great you know yeah um but then if i do it too much it gets really dark really quickly Yeah, that's the problem with shit in where you eat. Yeah. Where you just go like, it stops being fun after a while and starts getting like, I think, you know, with the content boom that we're going through right now and everybody's got to make something all the time. I think we'll look back at this time as like a real time of burnout of people just being like, you know, I feel bad for people that are really good at sketches on Instagram because I feel like. You have to turn, your turnover is so quick that that burnout is like, like stand up.

You can sit on a joke for three years. Right. And still, but still deliver it every night. It still make it better every night versus like content creators have to be like, I made it. Here it is. And here's the next one and here's the next one. Right.

Like there's more left for us as comedians. Yeah. Because you kind of go like, well, I don't want to show you that yet. Right. I'm not done with it yet. But if the sketch is the thing, it's like, well, why are you sitting on this? put it out already, get the views. I think that's always been the difficulty of SNL

that people don't realize is you're doing 90 minutes of new stuff every week. So you have to birth it, strengthen it, and get it ready for showtime by Saturday. It's very hard. That's why that environment is god-awful. I could imagine it's really toxic. I don't know.

Was there ever a moment, have you ever daydreamed about what your life would have been like had you not gotten a comedy and stayed in music? Um, only very recently because I've been so burnt out and just like the, the content, like, I just posting, feeling like I, there's just an infinite amount of things I could be doing to help my career. And because of that, I just sit still and panic instead of taking like one step. Yeah.

Um, so very recently I've thought, what if I had just like gotten my own Broadway show? Because I was subbing in a lot of Broadway shows. Because, and like just playing in the pits. So when you mean get your own Broadway show, you would mean, you would be on a permanent orchestra. For like as long as the show ran. Sure. Is that the way that most people make money?

It's one really good way. It's like the good job. Yeah, because you work like three hours a night and you can sub out half the shows and that's where I would come in and play. And it's a good paycheck. It's steady.

So there's like a depth chart for each instrument. Like two people? Oh, yeah. Well, every pit is different. Sometimes there's like a full orchestra. Sometimes it's like just a string quartet and then some win plays. Every show is kind of different.

But there's part of me that's like, what if I just like did that and like didn't have to constantly be like making these calculations and strategies and just started a family? Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that's a fair thing for anybody to do because, you know, I think a lot of the times I think about like what if I would have never moved to New York and stayed in Colorado. Like what would be my creative outlet? What would I be doing? But also I think you do that at moments where you're a little burned out. on like I don't want to go do spots and then I got to go do a fucking thing to promote this. It is, I think, but that's any job.

I think any fields you pick to go and, and what's crazy is no one ever gives that credit to doctors or fucking cops or people that are like, yeah, dude, I did want to fucking save it, but it's a lot every day, nonstop, all the fucking time. Like being a doctor, it's like, we watch the pit. Oh, God, yeah, I watch the pit. And you go, that's so hard and sexy and cool. but you go, not if it's seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. And all that charting?

I didn't know about the charting. I thought you just go in, you save a life, you go to the next room. But there's all this homework too. Like cops, you're like, most cop shows should just be paperwork. Oh, yeah. That's what the wire did really, really well. Was there like, no, no, no. Like whenever they had a case, they're like, no, you're filling out my fucking paperwork.

And you're like, that would be the thing I would try to get out of if I were a cop. Like, I don't want to do the fucking paperwork. I want to wear a long duster and smoke six. cigarettes and show up and touch the dirt and go, he was here recently. Right. That's what I want to do. I don't want to go like, what was the address? Just like, doing your taxes, but all year long.

But after you shot a guy, so you're hands shaking and you go, okay, it was 31, 50, hate to have it. Fuck. Oh, sorry. I just keep, remember him popping up and me, blah, blah, blah. And that, okay. Yeah, that's, the worst part of shooting a gun is probably got a day. you're like, I kind of did the fucking paperwork.

Yeah. Oh, God. I mean, I don't know. I think it's like, you know, we don't give breaks to people that have, like, teachers. Teachers, it's not talked about enough. You're going every five days a week. And you're dealing with underfunding. You're dealing with parents that think they know better.

Right. That's the thing where I'm like, dude, if you're a teacher, you're a fucking dog. You're a, I think I look up to you. They're paid like nothing. And of course they don't want teachers doing a good job because then you're going to raise smart people. They're going to ask questions. They're going to fuck everything up. They don't want to.

Don't ask questions. That's why the curriculum always sucks. That's why whenever you talk to a teacher, a teacher that cares, that truly cares, you see the frustration in their face where they go, I know we could be doing a better job. And that's also why you always remember your good teachers. Yeah. They're so impactful because they're fighting against this system. And when you're going to school, now you went to school in New York City. Yeah.

We, I know we talked about it, but then we frayed. But like, Juilliard, when your brother goes there, how much older is he than you? He's five years older. Do you go? Well, I got to go there. Yeah, like he got into the pre-college program and then he started later. He only did his last two years of high school, but I was like, I want to go. So then I went for five years of, like I went from eighth grade through high school.

But that was your choice. Yes, because he did it, I was like, I just wanted to copy everything he did, of course. So I was like, I want to go there. Yeah. And then I, but he went somewhere else for college and I stayed for college at Julia. So he didn't go to Juilliard. Not for college. Was he like, fucked that, that program is?

No, he played the clarinet and they only take two clarinetes here, but they take 10 violists. So I think I just had. I love the odds on that. They go, you play a fat neck violin. Get your ass in here. What? In the, how many auditions did you do, total for schools.

Five. Where was Juilliard in that? That was my second highest choice. The place I really wanted to go is this music school called the Curtis Institute. That's even smaller and more like elite, but like less known. Didn't get in there. Where is the Curtis Institute? Philadelphia.

Philly's like, yeah, you're sorry. Yeah, you stink. Stay up there. They do it where it's like a first round and then you know if you made the second round like that day. So I, and I played, I had the beta blockers at that point. Best audition of my life. Best I ever play was my Curtis audition. I come out.

I see my mom. I'm like, I nailed that. 20 minutes later, they put up a piece of paper. Cut. No. No. What? Is your mom there when you look at the list?

Yeah. At the list? Yeah. And I'm just crying. Sobbing. I know it's a painful memory. Do you try to cry outside? Oh.

I cried at a kud. She took me to a kudoba. Nice. Honestly. It's just. Chipotle with Casillas. Right.

And that's why I fuck with it. Oh, yeah. I cried into the burrito. Oh, I love a good Cudoba. Oh, I used to live across the street four in New Jersey and I was just there all the time.

We don't talk about Cudoba enough. Fucking Chipotle, we got it. It's so dry. You know what I mean? Kidoba is. I like that. It's the way no one talks about Burger King's burgers are messy versus

McDonald's. You're like, yeah, you're all tightened. Yeah. But Burger King, you're like, damn, you're not wearing a bra. Right. Your shit's false.

You drip that queso right down my chin. God, then Chipotle finally got a caes. Your casos all over. Your tits are leaking out of your shirt. Yeah. So you go there and just like, do you, I know this is, I don't mean to be like too in depth.

Do you cry walking into the kudoba or are you like sitting down with your meal and you go like, ha? I think I, I don't fully remember it. Yeah. I don't remember the walk to Kidoba. I just remember like List and then Kidoba. But I probably, I probably waited.

But then I remember. It's like when my mom put my first dog, Izzy down. I don't, I remember being in the car being told. And then I remember buying micro machines at Target to feel better. That's all I remember. Yeah, you blackouts. I mean, my mom was a really, I'm not trying to make her seem like, this makes her seem a little tough.

But in the moment, I think she was so worried about me hating myself that she was like, Isabel, you can't cry about this, you know? It just didn't work out. You got to stop crying. You got to stop crying. Also, you're crying publicly in a Kidova. So I'm not blaming your mom at all. Yeah, yeah.

Because he'd be going, at least you said stuff. How'd be going, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Mid burrito bite. What are you doing? Stop. Stop. Putting fucking Tabasco on it.

There were probably other people in there with instruments, though. Like, I don't know. It was like everyone knew in the Philly. It's the Curtis audition day. I wonder if they know that. It was great for crying. Getting it on the street. Fucking have a good cry in the key day, but you ain't came in here.

Sorry. Yeah, that is posting. I never had that because I think my football, my football team took everybody. You just, you were third string like me if you didn't, or second string. I never had the list slapped on the wall do or don't. Oh, man, it was the worst. Was that the only school that did that? Yes, the other ones you just waited.

There was only one round and you would just wait a couple months. So Juilliard was just one round. One round. And then I was in LA auditioning for another school the day the Juilliard results came out online. So I like played an audition and then like walked back to the hotel. And the audition didn't go well. So I was like this better fucking. Did you know when did you know the Juilliard result?

Did you know before you're auditioned at that school in LA? I knew they were coming out that day. And there were a ton of other people getting the results that day. So we went outside after I got the results. There were some people like crying. Some people like, you know, you were like, oh, they didn't get in. They got in. Oh, same kids.

Because all the kids are staying at the same hotel, you know, and we're all auditioning for the same schools. Was that like your reverse Kudoba day? Yeah. Where you were like, do you remember where? It was the best day because we're in L.A. I'd never been to L.A. before. So like that kind of sun and warmth I wasn't familiar with,

like the West Coast. It was the big frozen yogurt boom time. I think it was like 2009. God, I loved when Froyo was everywhere. Oh, it was like novel. They go, oh, it's ice cream, but it's not ice cream. You go, it's still dangerous. Yeah, but 16 handles.

You're adding in your own top. So my mom and I, we went to 16 handles. We walked around in the warmth. It was like the best day. And I don't know. I didn't, I spent more time with my dad growing up because he was like the freelancer, my mom at a job. But it was like spending time with my mom. Sure.

I don't know. It was just like a great day. And where did you get the information at your hotel? Yeah, like online. I had to log in, you know. Yeah. And you're logging in. You're like, forget your past.

You're like, fuck. Oh, my God. That is so fun. Yeah. It is getting results of that and it going positive. is just, so when you got Juilliard, it was your second pick behind Curtis. Right, but I had already gotten rejected from Curtis,

so it was my, it was ultimately my first pick. And then you're like, I don't care about my stupid audition at this L.A. school? Oh, yeah. They don't even have Broadway in L.A. So going back,

what a great flight home. It was a good flight home. Yeah. I'm going to Juilliard. Yeah. And then did Juilliard stack up to what you thought it was going to be? Sure.

I mean, it's one of those things. When I got there, I think the magic just died because music was my escape all up until then. It was like the thing that I would retreat to. And then all of a sudden it was all there was. And there were a lot of people like way better than me. So I was like having kind of an identity crisis of like, oh, I'm not the best. What's that like seeing someone better than you at a school like Juilliard?

Does it like is that one, does that thing make your yips worse? Yeah. It's shattering. I mean, because you. Most kids who go to Jlard were like the best. I mean, I was in New York, so it wasn't like a small town, but I was still like one of the top in like my youth orchestras and so whatever. You know, I felt like.

But then you get there and everyone's like, oh, shit, I'm not special anymore. You see the power of tiger moms. Yeah, yeah. You go, damn, this kid didn't have any childhood. This kid was just, this is what they did. Yeah, I'm like, you guys want to go get something to eat? They're like, yeah, must practice again. But this is why you were saying your boy,

your ex-boyfriend who was the drummer, he goes there and he goes, oh my God, all these kids have been kept. You guys were like veal. Your feet had never touched the ground. We had never seen the sun. Yeah, they were like, oh my God, there's a whole, there's a whole thing. Do you find in that situation like, did those kids over party? The, because when I went to college.

Oh, like the ones who were kept 50-50, I over-partied. You did. I like, because I didn't drink until college. So then I was like, oh. this is a thing. Let me tell you about what it's like being a kid that excelled in high school at getting fucked up. You go to college and you watch kids like that where you go,

you don't know what you're doing. Oh, I didn't know what I was doing. It's so sad that an alcohol bottle is like my instrument. You're playing that. You're playing that all wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do the shot chaser. No, no, no, you don't do that.

What are you doing? Liquor before beer and you're in the clear. Have you never practiced? Never. Yeah. I just was in my garage practice. You take the bong hit so that you can fall down. Yeah, that really is like, that's an interesting part of everybody's collegiate experience

is watching kids and substances crash into each other and see who can keep going versus who is like, I don't know. Yeah, I discovered I had a real talent for it. It was lying dormant, but I... Isn't that fun? Oh, yeah. It feels like you could, I know this is, you know, this is, you know, you know, it usually results in you having to quit years later.

Yep. But it feels like you can fly. Oh, yeah. Oh, you guys are all babies. Oh, yeah. You've seen people throwing up and you're like, I'm still going. And I also moved from Colorado to Tucson. I moved from Aurora to Tucson, which was going from altitude to below sea level.

And I was just bodying kids. Oh, yeah. I was being able to drink like in a way that I was like, oh, I excel at this. And then it's in your late 20s that you go, that might be in Iraq. Maybe I shouldn't be proud of this bottle of Georgie in the corner. Maybe taking down 16 Milwaukee's best, wasn't the best showcase for myself. Did you feel like you get along more with comics than musicians?

No, I get along better still with musicians. I love that. Thank you for your honesty. Yeah, it's tough because I don't, everyone's like, who's your crew in comedy? And I'm like, nobody.

Is it because of the raging insecurities that comics have? I, oh, yeah, I'll put it on them. It's their problem. They're just too insecure. I mean, makes sense.

Yeah, I think it's a mix of things. One, I already lived in New York and had like a foundation of friends and families, so I didn't have the drive to go make friends

in the comedy community. I was thirsty. I was out there. Thirsty. Oh, well, if you just moved here, it's your crew. 07, I was just

booty shorts, thumb out, walking the streets. Jolas took me in like a little quivering hooker. You go to the creek? Yeah,

I was like, I don't know. And he's like, nah, I used to open for Nick DePaolo. You have no idea how much he used to blink. Oh, it was crazy. I have the blinking thing, too. That's why we bonded. Really?

Yeah, yeah. You blink like lists? I do sometimes. I don't know if you blink like lists. No, no, seven list. He's a shutter camera. I shot him, I shot a movie that I was in, like, every shot of. And every take, we had to be like one more time.

We don't blink this time. You know? Because he was nervous. No, for me. Oh, for you? Yeah. Joe was in the movie, too. But he was supposed to be nervous in the movie.

So it worked. Oh, damn, you wrote his blinking in. Oh, yeah. He wrote him as a nervous conductor. Yeah. He was one of the, he was the person that I met. It was like him and a couple other guys, but Joe was the guy that it was like became the guy

where I go, I would call him. Yeah. Texting was just becoming regular. I would still call. Yeah. He would call him and be like, what are you doing tonight? He's like, I'm going to this mic, this mic, and I'll be like, I'll just come in with you.

Yeah, I mean, Joe still does that. He like takes in new, like he always has like a new, comic friend. He's like, this person's so funny. Like, he loves comedy. Yeah.

He truly loves comedy in a very pure way, and it's always been that pure. And I think that's one of the reasons I gravitated him so hard in our friendship was like, oh, I love it just like you love it. Yeah. And it was great. Yeah. He kind of,

like, he's my only, he's my only friend in comedy. Oh, really? No, I mean, but is that, I mean, that is like,

you know, I guess I didn't really think about it like that, but you grew up here, you went to college here. Yeah. Why would you bring in a bunch of weird. a weirdos. I mean, I would love,

I would love to have more comedian friends and feel like I'm part of like a scene. But I think also, like I'm kind of, I've got, I don't know if it's spectrum or whatever. I'm, I'm pretty divergent. Sure. And I think that gets hidden more with musicians for, where we're all like more similar.

You could hide behind the instrument. Yeah, but with comedians, a lot of times I end up feeling like I did in high school again where I'm like, I'm not cool enough for these people. Like, I just can't really hang. Yeah. I, uh, I can completely understand that.

I think the reason I was able to make a group of friends was because of my alcoholism. Yeah, well, that helps. I think I truly was able to go out and just get absolutely blackout for like six years with people and then being like, all right, well. And Joe got sober and then I got sober. So it was like a bonding thing of like a way to go like,

yeah, he's my group of friends. Right. But if I went to college here, I couldn't imagine like living in Denver and doing stand-up because I don't think I would have a big motivation to go out and like hang with the comics. I'd be like, well, just go to Danny's house or my friend Joel's house. Right. Oh, because that's where you're from. Yeah. So just grow up and be like, oh, just want to go hang out in their backyard. Or if you're like me and I'm like, oh, I just like hang out my parents.

They're fucking like, I'm a real nerd. Oh, I go get dinner at my mom's house. That would be like a thing where I'd be like, oh, that'd be nice. But I knew I would have fallen into that. That's why I left Colorado for college. It was because I was like, oh, I'll absolutely be that guy. So I'm very impressed with New Yorkers that are able to do stuff like that. Because I go, you don't realize the effort it takes for you to go, like, I'm going to leave my house with my husband and I'm going to go talk to mentally unwell people that are screaming for attention.

Yeah. Although sometimes you do get those nights where, like, someone you haven't seen in a while pops up. You have a great conversation about jokes. And like, you're both struggling with the same thing. And you're like, what a nourishing night. a comedy. That happens like once a month. I got to have that when I was just in Philly and Shane came out and did a guest set and it was

nice watching him go like, I missed being around. You guys are just nerding out about stand-up. And it was like, oh yeah. That's, you know what I mean? Like, it's like fun to go. You're like, it must be the way kind of similarly that you were talking about when you play a wedding for 500 bucks. And you go like, oh, I got to play Mozart and I fucking loved it. Yeah. And it felt really good. You're just like, this is the best thing in the world. Which I think that's the payoff. Yeah.

I don't ever think, I think they try to, the business tries to hide it behind money and popularity. But I think truly it's the Alyssa Luth thing. I think the payoff is being in the moment, doing the thing you like and going, fuck, I really enjoy this. Yeah. I mean, if you're really, if you love comedy and you have a good set, like nothing for at least an hour, like nothing can get you down. I've thought about like what it must be like to be a lawyer and like nail a case and go like,

I fucking nailed my. argument. I got all the filings right. I just fucking did it. And then it's like, great, great. That's got to be more important than being a partner or like. That's what's so sad about comedians who now like they rise really quickly on Instagram and they miss the development that makes them able to have these like good sets that like, because you're not, you're not honing the craft anymore. Yeah, I would say the reason our theater tour has been such a success is because I've had so much fun doing it. And it's because I spent so many years half selling comedy clubs and like really begging people to let me headline and then you just go like, oh, you're overwhelmed or you go like,

well, it's not, I don't, the money's, you know, beyond my wildest imaginations. But the more important thing to me is like, dude, I'm having fucking fun. Like these shows where I'm just like, oh my God, I'm just hanging out with a large group of people. We're just bullshitting. I'm getting, I'm getting paid to do stuff I would have got fired for at restaurants. So I do, I think you're right. I think like this quick development of like, oh, I'm famous now. It's like, but you don't know how to do the thing for the love of doing the thing. Right. And we're all being lied to because we're being told that that doesn't matter.

It's just like the speed. Like there's no time. Get it out there. But we're all being robbed. Truly being robbed. The only thing that actually makes it worth doing. And I think what's valuable of people hearing that if there's young comics listening to this from someone like you is you've been through two different forms of artistic growth that you. you know that that's a fact.

That you know that with the viola or with stand up, you know that's a fact. Oh yeah. No, just get good at it. However you can. Don't even have an Instagram. I don't know. But see,

that's the hard thing. It's like, I can't tell someone that right now because you go like, but yes. For a little while. I don't know. Stay offline for five years.

Dude, me sucking. It was nowhere online because it was not around. Yeah. Even when I started, that wasn't a thing yet. There was Instagram, and no one was, like, posting their clips. No.

No, and then you, now you, like, feel this like, well, I have to. Yeah, and I'm like, I have, like, an hour I could chop up. That's all good stuff, but, like. That's the reason you put out a special, because then you go, because when we were filming on the road, Pimp goes, hey, it'll be a great special, and you'll have a lot of clips to clock, and you're like, because I was just going to kill that hour. I just was just like, yeah, I don't know if I'm going to film it for anything.

I don't want to go through the negotiation with a streaming service or something, and Pimp was just like, well, Coleman in a Helium Portland and then we'll chop it up and we'll make it look good. And you're like, that's exactly. So it, back to the joy thing, it just made it like, fuck it. I'm just having fun doing a Wednesday show at Portland. Yeah. I'll put it online.

And it was great. And people, it's like, we got to start going back to doing stuff. I think the two things that could really help society are no more investors in businesses. Like, I think if you own a business, you should be at the business. Like, you should be, you should know how at all. none of these things where they try to make you feel like and you do a weakest service, a chick-fil-a if you own it's like fuck that. You own it,

you're there. I need to talk to the owner. That and telling people that are going into the arts, do this for the enjoyment. Yeah. Because if not, you're going to go fucking crazy. Oh, I mean, because I'm going crazy right now. Like you were asking me like, do you think about your life without comedy? I'm like now, right now I do. I'm like not doing well. Like I'm fucked up.

Why? Because the special's coming out And like, well, I can't even know how many people have watched the special yet because I haven't, it has, I haven't gotten my first report. Go to veep.com. But like, just in terms of like selling tickets on. I can't fucking, I can't sell a ticket to save my goddamn life. Because that's, it's, it's kind of similar to the thing where you go, because you're starting to think too big. Yeah. The thing, the old way, which did suck in a lot of ways was you would go, comedy clubs would allow you to headline, even if you weren't selling a lot of tickets because they believed in you. And that's why you had these relationships where then you do start selling tickets and you go, no, I want to come back here and work with you because I remember.

But they forgot that. Now I sell a quarter of it and I feel deep shame. I'm like, I'm so sorry you brought me here. Even though I'm going to, even though these people are going to have a nice time, I'm going to do a good job. But see, I think that's the importance being lost. As long as these, if you sell 30 tickets in a room that sits 100, but those 30 people have a fan, you have a great time and they have a great time, fuck everything else.

The other people are worried, this is what I mean by like, if owners still own businesses, the owner could go, no, we'll get another night where we'll sell out. That was really fun and interesting and I think it's good. It's like you look at a club like comedy on state and you can tell that they weren't like,

who sells tickets, how do we sell drinks? They were like, this is a great show. Come watch a great show. And that's why the people of Madison know if I go to comedy on state, I'm going to see a good show. It's the same as like the seller, right? Cellar is the same thing.

They go, you're going to see a great lineup of great comments. No matter what. And then it just built on itself. Louis puts it in his show and then it breaks out like wildfire. Right. So I would say the frustration you're feeling right now is very normal, but also no, you're not wrong for feeling it. Yeah.

Because I don't think people tell you that a lot of times. You're not wrong for feeling that. Yeah. Keep making good stuff. and just that should be, I don't know, but that's also like I'm in a very, I'm in a lucky position. I've been doing it for a while.

I have a fan base. So there is like this like, maybe I should shut the fuck up. No, it's, I've done this though. When you're in a higher position than someone giving them advice, you're always like, I mean,

at least this is how it worked out for me. Yeah. There is a bit of like, you got to just, but I think, no, trust that like it worked, you know. I just speaking to that, I just had that happen with Shane's shows at Madison Square Garden.

He did Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And I was on the Friday show. And Andrew Santino was on the Thursday show. So he was in town. And we got coffee. And we got coffee, me, him and his wife. And he was like, I'm going first. And I was like, because at the time, on the Friday lineup, I was going second.

And so I was like, it's similar where you give an advice where you go, listen, bro. You're not in that position. And he goes, I'm going first. And I go, dude, just go out there, do your jokes. Stay relaxed. It's just another set. Yeah. We're all shit in our pants.

It's Madison Square Garden. But you go, bro, you got this shit or whatever. And then I went to the show that night. And Shane pulls me aside. He goes, hey, there's a blizzard coming. So Louis switched from Saturday to Friday. So you're going first. And I was like, oh, I just started laughing.

And I was like, four hours ago, I'm giving Santino advice. I'm like, bro, it's not that big of a deal. And then the rest of the day, I'm like, I'm going to go first. I'm going to go first on Friday. Oh, taking your own advice is impossible. Like it's the it's so humbling too. Like I'll talk just like a really new comic and I'm like, don't worry about it.

It's about the love of doing it. That's exactly what else is. Rob yourself of it. And then I like don't get enough views on a clip and I'm like, I'm going nowhere. I'm going nowhere. He's got to see me while we're breaking it down. I go, well I guess I'm just fucked in this business.

Oh yeah. I'm like, I guess I'm just a loser. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, I hate a show. You know, I hate myself. It's, we're all fucking humans. We're all absolute animals.

Yeah. Isabel Hagen is extremely talented, extremely funny, has a new special out, go watch it. Isabel Hagen at the bitter end? Or is it just, is it at the bitter end? Yeah, it's called Isabel Hagan at the bitter end. I love it. You go, she's at the better end.

One of the most world-renowned historic stand-up places. Yeah, but they don't really do comedy there anymore that much. You know, last time I did a show there was Big Jays, what's your fucking deal where he did crowdwork there and it was awesome. Yeah. It was very cool to be in that place and be like, this is awesome. Yeah. You're hilarious.

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