Soder - 139: RESIN ROT with Sarah Sherman | Soder Podcast | EP 136

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

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visit KB.com for more information. Hey, everybody. Thanks for watching the podcast. We are currently on our way back from San Francisco while this episode comes out. And so I want to thank everybody for being at the taping of the Netflix special. Come July, right back on the road. July 16th through the 18th, I'm going to be at New York Comedy Club in Stanford.

And then Montreal, just for laughs. I'm going to be there July 25th at Club Soda, doing an hour. So it's going to be, you know, mostly the Netflix hour. If you didn't hear it, I didn't go to Montreal on the tour, plus some new jokes. But then after that, it's all. me working on new stuff. So I will see you in Albany, July 31st and 1st at the Albany Funny Bone. And then I will be, just go to danceorder.com. What am I doing? Just go to Dancerter.com. After Albany, go to dance order. It's all there. We all put it up. But I'm on the road

working on a new hour. So come check it out. I hope you like it. There's going to be some real humbingers on there. There's going to be some real shitty ones too. So just come see it. Come watch you get birthed. Watch me push them out. On the road. But thank you for watching the podcast. Oh, you're, okay, don't look my mouth.

I got the right on. Oh. People are like, why do you put murder in the general?

She's a fucking problem. Oh, lick my mouth all over. Oh, his dog sexually assaulted me.

I get the first, I get the first cancel of, because of my dog. I think that's only for people that work with networks. Right.

People that, where you have, a boss. Right. I think like, Mike, it'd be funny. if you canceled me, Mike,

if Homo's Pimp was like, you're done. No more podcasting. Oh, but how am I going to sell my wares? How am I going to ruin my wife's nice apartment? First off, this is my apartment. See, I never grew up with dogs. I don't have a dog. So whenever they, like, do shit like that,

it's shocking to me. You really? I never grew up with a dog, never had anything. Did you have a cat? Nothing. No animals. Jewish parents who are like, I don't want to take.

care of anything. The danda. The danda. They were like, no, Dan, where did you grow up? Long Island. Oh, yeah. I forgot. We talked about your dad loving sports. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah, you dad, der he is. Yeah, WWE. Love it. Michael Chee took us. Did he? And we got free socks. Did you get to see Michael Chey nerd out about wrestling at all? It's crazy.

It's very fun, isn't it? It's really cute. I go to wrestling with them. You weren't there. You weren't out Monday Night Raw. I got a hat and a backpack and socks. It's, I've been. Ben, he took me to Monday Night Rot, see that chair right there?

I got that chair with Michael Che. I got a chair too. I got like five of them, bitches. I gave it to a teenager whom. That's probably what I should have done. Yeah. But instead? You kept it for your teenage self.

As a giant child. I kept it. I'm jealous that you live over here. I want to live over here. Why? I move over here. I don't think. There's like kids in my building that it disgusts me how young they are that they live in this building.

Like it's there. It's like their. They went from Murray Hill to here. Yeah. And you go like, it took me 15 years living under a train in Queens. And I had to get on a successful television show for seven years. And then I had to marry a woman with an Emmy. Good for her.

I love her. She's so beautiful. She was very mad she wasn't here today. Is she at work? Yeah. I feel the dog slime on my face. Oh, you still do. Oh, I'm going to have to explain that Myrtle assaulted you to Katie.

So were you, did you ever as a kid want to like a pet? Did you ever like do the thing where you're like, for my birthday, can I have a puppy? I knew better to ask for anything. That sounds almost abusive where you're like, I knew. I knew the hand of my father would strike me. Is the podcast started? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were fidgeting around so much.

I wasn't even sure. I probably should have told you we just start recording. This is Sarah Sherman. She's crazy, talented, watch everything she does. I'll take it. Yeah. Well, I wanted, I think I wanted a dog, but my parents were like, well, who's going to wipe its ass, you? Just very Jewish parents responses.

Well, then they're going to bite something of great value. Yeah, no, exactly. And of course, I'm very Jewish as well. Yeah. I don't learn. That's the hell that works. What if that changed all of a sudden, what? You go, he got very, I'm very, I don't.

I see. You found out. All of a sudden. Your dog that sexually assaulted me. She kissed you on the face. She slimed on my face on my mouth. She slimed on my mouth. She slimed your mouth, dude.

It was a new experience. Nice. Dude, we're Eskimo brothers with your dog. Oh my God. We've both been slimed by that fat slut. Hey, she's right over there. She was just chilling right there. She likes it.

Sometimes I talk to my dog and people will go like, hey, and I'm like, it's a little. a dog. Right. Because I go, what's up, you fat, dumb ass?

Let's go outside. But they can speak English, can't they? Sometimes I feel like they can. Sometimes she reacts. You tell them stuff

and they go like, oh yeah, I'm going to go do that. I think they just know sounds, the repetitive sounds of like up on the, like up, you know, she like knows the jump.

Right. Sometimes I'll be like, hey, I'm going to leave for a little bit and come back. And then I come back and she's like, I fucking thought you were dead. I thought you were fucking dead,

dude. I want to know the love of an animal. This is what I mean. I really do. Katie didn't grow up with a dog. She always loved dogs, but she never grew up with one. So when we got this one,

she's experiencing love and a whole, you know, like people talk about, like you have to have a kid because you've never known a love like this. Yeah. I think some of us are so broken that a dog will do.

That's what I'm, it's like, I'm pretty sure I can understand what a different kind of human love is like. An animal's love. Pretty good. Sounds pretty, I want me and my boyfriend

kind of floated the idea of a gecko. Can I tell, can I say this? It smiles. Can I? Can I say this? Can I say this in a, and I mean this in a very positive way. And don't say my haircut looks like I already have a gecko and don't say.

I don't know. Your energy being a lizard girl makes sense. I see, this is the one you made. I knew you were going to say that. I said it is. You have lizard energy and it just makes sense in a good way. I knew you were going to say that. You look like you've done this before we go, no, just let them on you.

Like you let something on you by like. No, he's cute like he's wearing a hat. Yeah. No, but that's fun. I think get it where you can get it. But this is my fear. They make their tail. What do you mean?

Oh, like tank people. Eddie downstairs. That cool dude you love? I like him. Fish dude. The door guy, because he's got a fucking door guy. Okay,

yeah, I do. I'm 42 years old. I literally why the first thing I said to you was you're rich. Yeah. Well, I live in a nice place, but I live with no kids,

dual income. I know. What's up? What's up? What's up? Everyone I know is pregnant right now. Really? Yes.

Everyone I know is finding out what ailments their children have. The ice has thawed on the toddler ears. They're going, I think they have a violent streak. Right. Now, all my friends are, I'm very lucky. All my friends' kids are healthy and happy. But they are getting to like, most of them are in school now.

Oh, no. I'm in my 40s. So my friends are all like, hey, but what is great about being the friend with no kids, they're fun to hang with now. I come in with the chaos that they, they go like, I love this guy. Well, your voice is so shocking that I feel like if I was a kid and I heard that, I would, like, you would be the most faint, you would be a celebrity to me just because your

voice is so crazy. The Thunderman is here. Yeah. The Thunderman. Yeah. Thunderman came to our house and he knows my dad and he talks to me. And like, if you're so small and down here and then a big guy with the craziest voice in America.

Crazyest voice in America. Because your voice does come from where thunder comes from. for a kid is the guy. I'm the Thor of voice office. Yeah. I, this is a real story. I went to Thanksgiving with Joe List and his family in Massachusetts. And, you know, great, drinking or whatever.

He's got a huge Irish family. His cousins come over. They have a two-year-old. And I go, hi, how are you? And she went, meh. Like my voice fucked her up. The voice of God scared her. And she was like, yeah.

I mean, I think she's like 16 now, but I remember being like... She can never look at you this thing. Yeah, I was like, oh, I felt like a monster. I was like, huh. Have you ever seen like a chotchky on the shelf rattle because you spoke too loudly? That's how I make them dance.

All those men dance when I talk. Literally, when we did that show together at Radio City. We both did set... We both opened for Stav at Radio City Music Hall. And say it, you did more time than I did. Say it. One woman on the line. I think so.

Well, I was doing that thing. I find myself like, Like going, maybe it's like the like melatonin hangover that I feel like I have every day in my life. I just walk through my life kind of really not thinking about what I'm doing while it's happening. So what's, um, from the perspective of going on stage at Radio City, we got there late. And radio city is a giant. Yes.

For people to understand it's giant, just a dome. But it's a dome that you look and it's just a wall of people at one in. Yes, tall and skinny. Just like us. Come on. Hey. Lank energy. We like it.

We like it. But you come, like, from the side of the stage and the reveal. The reveal. It's like shocking. It's shocking. And I said, like, I wasn't. I was just like, oh, shit. Like, it opens up in a way that you're like, what?

And I've been lucky to do other big venues because of my friends, Madison Square Garden with Shane. Crazy brag. Crazy brag. All my friends. My friends have the biggest rooms. I don't. My friends, the biggest room. Oh, you live in a pretty nice apartment.

I had to live in a queen. for 15 years. I know that's right. It was a payoff. I'll take this apartment. I earned this shit. There's something about like when you go to Madison Square Garden, though, you're like, you have to walk around such a big circle to get to a door.

You know it's huge. But something about Radio City, you're like, I just got off the train and I ended up here and I, like, wasn't thinking he added me last minute because, you know, that's how you guys always add women to your shows for the last minute. We go, fine. Fine, put a chick on. Is that even a chick? I can't tell.

I'm so mad. my friends have wives. My fan friends have wives. Here's one for the ladies. Hey, y'all. What's up with shopping? Give a couple receipts, then get your ass offstage. Women do be shopping.

Women do be shopping. What if that's how you freed society from podcasts? It was like, it happened where there's like, at the podcast center, they're like, something's happening. Joe Rogan shoots himself in the head because I said it. I'm in my bunker, bro. Just pull it's alpha brain. Just on the window.

Because I said the one thing that broke the sound barrier, women do. And I can in fact attest as someone who just not to brag, got off an airplane. And I came from traveling. And my suitcase was overweight because I did be shopping. Girl problems. But you're right. You come into the... You're just like come off the train.

I'm like not thinking. And where they have you come in is like a tiny hallway. You're going to a weird elevator like your cattle. Yes. And I'm like and I said like I wasn't thinking and I was just like oh yeah I'm doing Stavs show

put on like the worst outfit of all time. I saw and then I just like we were all talk first of all I couldn't find the green room and so I'm like looking all over for the green room and then I hear like you guys see no no leave wrong. 3-5 full form

I've got a All back to be done. Really good. Honestly, it's fast. I was on the way here, I was like nervous. I was like, he's so fast. No. Yeah, you come, you have analogies very fast.

I was a lonely child. So you were sitting thinking about analogies by your name? Just building them. Just building it in my brain. I was just building analogies. I was talking to Katie and I was like, dude, Sarah absolutely is the girl that in high school, we would have a group project together and then be becoming. fast friends.

No. Where it would be like after the project and I'd be like, we made some other girl do most of the work while we were having fun. Get around, making fun of people where I go, oh, you know, it's like absolutely. When I hung out with you after Stavi show, I was like, that's how it felt. I was like, I was like, I'm doing your podcast, right? And you were like, yeah. And then I realized, I don't actually think you asked me to do your podcast.

I just assumed. It was funny as it was in the works. It was in the works. And I was like, oh, then we were hanging out. And I was kind of like. I don't remember. I think that is a genius way to get booked, though. I'm pretty sure I'm doing your podcast.

What if I? I think that's actually kind of a way to go. Like hanging out, having fun. Just hanging fun and be like, uh, so I, what am I doing your podcast? And we go, oh, that's like next week. We're like hanging out on camera, right? But you did the bus with stuff. Yes, I did.

And I broke my weed sobriety on the bus. What made you want to do that? I couldn't sleep in the coffin. I was getting shook. People either really sleep really well on tour buses or I don't. No. The second it stops moving. I'm going to say the most offensive thing that's ever been said in the history of microphones and cameras.

I believe if you sit. It's summer and it's time to go swimming. Dude, it's time to get your cannonball out. Shave your back. Get ready to jump in the pool. 40 year old, did you just hear my breath right there? I like sucked in in my throat. My throat skin hit it.

I was like, Listen, chubby shorts. I got a pair a couple of years ago when we were on the fully loaded tour with Bert. And I was like, what are these shorts? I just liked the pattern they were. And then I swam with them for a summer. And I was like, oh, these are my shorts. Then I found out you can adjust the thigh length, which maybe you got great thighs.

If you have powerful quads, you're going to love chubby swim trunks. They're going to show off that little fold over the knee. Unfortunately for me, stick legs. So I go with the longer ones. But I still love them. They dry quickly. They let me go from, you know, jumping in the pool to having a hot dog on the side of Jay's pool.

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I believe, wow, you've been stunned silent. I believe if you sleep well on a tour bus that might be evidence of a chaotic womb. You're saying. It's like, let's take it back. Yeah. To let's take it back to the 80s. Yeah.

Someone's mom is pregnant. Yeah. Does it? Maybe no. First trimester. Right. Jazzercising. Jazzercising.

Stepping. Pulling. As Katie likes to quote, which talks about Jane Fonda's workout tapes, very controlled. Very controlled. Very mindful. Very relaxed.

You're saying the baby getting sloshed around. Do a little crack, do a little meth, go to the club, hop around. Then they're like, I can't sleep. And then they put them on a tour bus, and it returns them to their chaotic wound. Yeah. So what happened? So you're saying we had normal wounds. Yes.

Thank you, mom. Thanks mom. I actually was doing crazy shit in the womb, by the way. Like backflips? I saved my mom from the first 9-11. I don't believe this. Yes. From the 1997 bombing of the World Trade Center.

93, but thank you for thinking I'm 21 or whatever. That's why you're my word. There was a bombing. Yeah, in the parking garage. Yes, and my mom was working there at the time. I'm kicking in the womb. She's going, I don't feel good. I'm not going to come into work today.

Damn. And then those guys with the U-Hauls down in the basement. Uh-huh. Damn. And how old were you when that happened? I was 10 years old. Oh. Yeah, I was already in a freedom force.

I was sent in to fight them. When that attack happened, you know what happened? They came out to my ranch in Colorado. They landed with the helicopter. And I had a toothpick in, and they said, you're the most dangerous 10-year-old in the world.

And they said, we believe that 9-111 just happened. And I went, I've been playing Nerf guns with my friends in the street for this. Is there a staircase I can hide up? You were SEAL Team 0.4. Yeah.

That would have been a 90s comedy movie where they're like, they're Navy SEALs, but they're 10. The worst thing they got to worry about isn't al-Qaeda. It's puberty. It's boners.

Was your voice like this when you were 10? Yeah, I had a deep voice. My voice was so deep that this is like, you know, obviously before the internet or whatever. I used to love action figures. Shout out. Still put him up on the bookcase.

After all he's done. After all he's done. He sucks. He does suck. But this is like, Listen, you weren't there, man. You weren't there for Hulkomania in the 80s, brother. It was, it sucks so bad how much I know he sucks,

but just being like, dude, from one to 10 years old, I get why people are religious because you're like, he was my Jesus. He was just like, is there a bad guy? Guess what? The bad guy's going to hurt me. Right. Then I'm going to Hulk up. And do that sound into the mic again.

Awesome. He used to, my dad would be like drinking when we, I would like rent tapes, you know, because we didn't have the money for paper views. So we'd rent the tape. And my dad, and I would like want to watch the Hulk Cogan match. And my dad, I always remember we would be drinking, sitting there watching. And he thought it was so funny when Hulk Cogan would Hulk up. Do you know what hulking up is?

He would take his shirt off? No, that was the beginning. He always did that. Okay, okay. But then when he was getting beat up by the bad guy, there would be a moment where he's like, wait a second, your shit doesn't hurt me anymore. Wow. And he'd be like, and then they would hit him and he'd go,

you, whole crowd would yell it, big. Wow. My dad thought that was the funniest shit in the world. Awesome. He's like, so he's just shaking off punches and he's like, and I would be like, there was the first time I was like mad where I was like, well, you just let me enjoy this. Wow.

So this explains the like bottomless comedian black hole in your heart is you always needed to figure out how to make dad laugh. Yes. Hello. That's been the fuel source. How do you not diagnose that early on in your career? here. Oh, of course.

That's why all these people were like, back in the 40s, they were doing drugs. They're like, yeah, because they didn't have therapy. They didn't know why they were doing all this crazy erratic shit. Oh, are you in therapy? Yeah, what are you not? Girl, twice a week, please. Twice a week. And he tried to get me five.

That's just a guy ripping you off. Well, of course, you could do whatever he wants to me. He's my therapist. Well, now he's got his fingers in deep. Are you going to get fucking Stevie Nix? Are you going to have like 10 years of on colonopin and then we're going to have to free you from no, that's the problem. No, man.

medication, just dream analysis, and like, I'm like, and I'm like this too. You lay down on the couch. You do the stereotypical. I'm literally like that. I'm going like, oh my God, the spider in my dream was like the symbol of the monstrous other, like, you know, that's. Yeah. How long have you been in therapy for?

There's the time to know. For, uh, uh, so you're a kid. No. No. No. No. Not long.

Not long. There's like a, you know, like I had like a tough guy dad who was like, you know, You know, it was like, well, like, run it out. That overrides the Judaism's understanding of therapy. Yes, is the Long Island. Yes. You know, the 12 tribes understand the importance of talking to someone. Yes.

Of getting your feelings out. Yes. But the Long Island. Yes. That nitrous goes over all of it. Like, go, if you're depressed, go walk it out. Yeah, exactly. If you're hungry, eat a piece of cheese.

If you're thirsty, eat an altoid. That was big. That's really big. An altoid. Can I tell you I was always the kid that would eat stuff for attention, you know, for like, to be funny? And this is the other how you became a comedian thing. Yeah, okay. And I did 15 outwards on the back of the bus and it's great.

And even you saying that, I was like, I think that gives you diarrhea, doesn't it? No, it just makes you hurt your sinuses. It just like, oh my God. It just makes you horny, like crazy. I know, I just was, I became, I became exactly horny. If you go to the life saver, sugar-free, the experiment

Amazon user review page. They all say that those gave them crazy diarrhea. Well, they were doing that with, there was gummy bears. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were taking the sugar out and people were like, so I'm just shitting my brains out right now.

That is, like, we don't think about in history how much diarrhea was happening during important events because they didn't have the refrigeration, didn't have, stuff where they were like, Benjamin Franklin was like, oh, this, I'll tie this. I got to, who.

This is so interesting. Howard Zin's history and people's history of whatever. You got it right. Dan Soder's like diarrhea history. Diarrhea history. America. Like maybe there's some iconic moments that are even more iconic because they had the trots. Well, that's, and every iconic moment must have been really stressful, which.

You're not Jewish at all. No, I wish, man. I'm one of those kids. You don't would. Dude, when I grew up and everybody wanted to be black, I just wanted to be Jewish so bad. My dad was, my dad was like very funny and, you know, we loved comedy. And he was big in a Mel Brooks.

Oh, of course. And for some reason, my family, like my dad's family, even though they're Swedish, used Yiddish. Oh. Because they are like, it's just like a. Like slangly or like, yeah. Like they would use Yiddish slang. Sure. In a way that I was like, that makes zero sense because they were like Episcopalian.

Right. You're like, I don't know why, but a lot of like Yiddish slang was my dad, his dad would use and my dad would use a lot. So it's really. You're like I'm fluent in Yiddish, which is why I can wear your culture as my costume. That's exactly it. But I wanted it. You have such a like, your relationship to diarrhea is so strong I was convinced that maybe you were one. Oh, you ve.

You can't say that. You have to use a soft wine. You have the pass. You have the past. You have the past. You gave me a bar mitzma bath? You got a bar mitzma bath. I'm not one of my past forever.

Lechayim, oh my God. I'm just like, now I have opinions about Israel. And say, there's three cameras. Yeah, now. Very porn.

All podcasts have a porn set up. It does. It does feel like that where you come into a room and everyone's like overly nice and you go, now let's get to the nasty shit. Hey, a lot of diarrhea talk, white wall. Don't kiss my dog. Your dog mouthed me.

Okay. As we progress, the end of the podcast is me giving a full sincere apology to you with Myrtle out here. Like Myrtle, I need you to look here in the eye. I was orally raped by a dog named Myrtle. Myrtle, dude, the old lady name. That's cute. How did that happen? She's named, oh, man.

She's named after a bot on a video game. You know what? I just wish you did. I know. Yeah, I just wish you did. I wish I didn't either. My boyfriend's addicted to slay the spire right now. Does this mean?

Does not mean anything to you? No, I'm playing Arc Raiders still, which is a different video game. But that's a level of like video game that I respect. Does he play on a computer? He was playing on a computer. And he, I keep me. When I go in the room and I see one of those hard drives with the lights on the outside, I go, oh, he doesn't.

I would not let that into the house. Come on. What do I look like? A lizard girl. That would let that into the house. Ah! God. Got me.

No, but is he, how much time is he putting in on it? Well, I keep being, like, stop. And he keeps being like, you literally don't understand. This is, like, famously everybody's, like, literally addicted to this game. And I'm waiting for, like, someone else to be like, no, seriously, like. Do you have to put, like, screen time restrictions on?

Yeah, I, and you know how Netflix says that thing where it's like, are you still watching this? It's your girlfriend coming to the room and being like, I don't know, but he's like, no, you don't know. but he's like, no, you don't, like, but you don't understand why it's addictive either because you don't play it. No, but I understand the addiction of video games.

I don't. It's like, ache you can get into it. I, it's just, I, if, I've had a video game controller in my hands and I'm in, like, whatever, you know, whatever, and been, like, too anxious that I have to throw the remote. Really? Really? Because it's like, I, oh.

Did you grow up with video games? No. That's why. People, people that grew up with video games. I wasn't a virgin loser, so. Well, hold on. People usually say the people are, well, first off, you can get pussy and play video games. Well, I've seen, I walked in my boyfriend playing Baldur's game.

I've seen the big green pussy, okay? There is crazy shit in video games. We go, you do make this for guys that don't fuck. I walked in and I said, you're having sex with a big green woman. This is cheating. Well, well, guess what? Baldergate defense. You like this, too.

The, Baldergate is like, you got to jump in. I don't, I kind of just want to pick up. my video games and play for like half hour, an hour, maybe two. I'm playing art graders at Huey Lewis. And the news? Well, yeah, I can't bring the whole news. I can't bring the whole news to the video game. I only can bring Huey.

But I'll play for like two hours and feel like good and then I'll go through. But Katie plays video games too. So if she's into a video game and I'm into a video game, that's what we did during the pandemic. What do you? What do you? What do you? Eamity,

Ebony, amity, Mubri. Girls can play video games. But what are you guys playing? We play Rocket League. That's what Myrtle's named after. Shout out the Bot Mertle and Rocket League.

Which is like car soccer. Like she, we both played Red Dead Red Dead Redemption 2. Okay. We both goes to Tsushima. During COVID, I liked watching my friends play Resident Evil. Great.

Scary, spooky. Very cool. Very fun game. She got super into Call of Duty during COVID. It was like nasty at it. The thing that started Columbine or whatever. Girl, as someone that was in the state during Columbine. Oh my God, were you there?

Well, I wasn't at Columbine. I was at the high school two weeks before it happened. My friend's sister was playing in a high school club thing. You are a celebrity. Not really. Oh, actually, this is, I'm not going to lie, because of Columbine, me and my friends were on the cover of the New York Times. on the Sunday edition. I swear to God,

we went to the memorial and we put down flowers and some guy took a picture and it was like, I'm standing in the back. My friend, Chad is putting down flowers. Yeah, you're not Jewish.

You had friends named Chad and Denver. Danny and Joel and Michael. Wait, can you guys do one of the, this goes on YouTube? Do you do one of these things? Blu-blood. Yeah, they'll put it right here. They'll put the picture.

Here's his Columbine picture. She's trying to get out. You can't talk about Columbine without getting the dog involved. She can't speak English. She knows. She's a her. She's an Eric Harris girl.

And I'm a Dylan Klebold boy. We kind of just fight over it. Which one's the trench coat one? Both of them are the trench coat ones. But Eric Harris was the psychopathic leader, and Dylan Klebold was believed to be the follower. She read Dave Colum's book, Columbine. It's fantastic. Did he give himself like a drag name to name himself after the event?

Dave Columbine. Dave Column. I'm Sprouts McBitch. Oh, his gay voice came out. Oh, no. Get it. Lock it. Send it to everybody.

I feel like you, before I interrupted you, like for the millionth time. No, I love that. I do it all the time. I thought you were going to say some statistic

about how people who play video games have sex. No. No, no, no, no, no. I wish I had that. Yeah, I was just going to say people who play video games,

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Visit cash. Dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Damn, I really thought I was going to get that. I was just going to say people who play video games, it's not as nerdy as it was. When I was like in the 90s, like before the internet and shit, if you played like computer games, you were, you could be a fucking nerd. But now it's like everyday Joe's. Right. Be gaming.

Right. Your boyfriend's probably a normal guy. He's so cool. You know, he probably breeds lizards or whatever you guys do. Well, this is why we're not getting a lizard. Because did you know that the gecko, if they get stressed out, they, like, you know. chop their own tail off. Yeah, but then it grows back.

But then I couldn't, I don't want to be dealing with a tail. I think that's way less more traumatic than like a hamster eating its babies. What did they do? Well, who's getting, you think I'm a hamster girl? I don't think you're a hamster girl. I would never call you a hamster girl.

Thank you. That's like mean. You call me a lizard girl. Oh, no, no, lizard girl's like you're cool. You'd probably hang out on a skate shop. Yeah, but it's kind of pick me. Girls with snakes. Oh, no.

No, no, no. Girls with snakes are trauma victims. Right. Girls with snakes are not pick me. Girls with snakes are like, who? Who did it? Right. And they go, my dad's friend.

And you go, totally. Totally. That's a python? Just go back there. Right, you're reclaiming the fallus. Yes, exactly. Totally. That's fucking twice a week, dude.

That's laying down on a couch. That's laying out. Bro, blah, blah, ba. I was having recurring nightmares that I was on tour but sleeping on park vensions. and then waking up and someone had scratched my back and blood was running down it. Jesus, that's very detailed. No, you don't dream?

You don't remember. I've smoked a lot of weed over the years. I don't. This and I got my dreams back. Yeah. I got my dream. It's, you gotta get them back. I did it a couple years ago.

I quit for like six months, like two years ago, I quit for six months and those dreams were gnarly. They're speaking to you, Dan. They have something to say. I'm sorry, I've told this story, before if you've heard it, but I used to... Certainly I haven't. I've told this story before, but I'm going to have...

Sarah, tell it. I used to not smoke weed when I'd visit my grandma. I was trying to tell him. I like that. I actually thought you were going on it. I was a big fan of it. But I used to not smoke weed when I'd visit my grandma, and I remember, like, the third day in, I had a dream that a guy pulled a gun, and I

wrestled it away, but I shot him. Like, you know, TV, where they're like, oh. And then I ran, and I was... was wanted for murder and it felt so real that when I woke up, I like had to sit up in bed with my feet on the ground like in TV shows where they're like. Oh, to be grounded? Yeah, like I had to like ground my feet to be like,

okay, so this is reality because that was so scary. But it was so awesome the way you were doing it. You must fell. No, I was like, oh my God, I killed a guy. I'm gonna walk around no one. I killed the prison. Your unconscious was trying to speak to you, Dan. Yeah.

Your unconscious uses violent, shocking imagery to. So what did your therapist say when you laid down on the couch about the scratches? You know what? This is the problem? He doesn't... We're going to find out you're getting ripped off. I am! It's going to be the scene...

You know the scene in something about Mary where the guy leaves while Ben Stiller's telling and then he comes back in and he's finishing eating the sandwich? He's like, oh, that sounds, that's what's happening to you. You're laying down and he's gone. I love the guy. I really do. He wears Air Force longs. That's crazy.

I don't need a... I need a... I need hokas. Are you? I need hokas or new balances. I need to, or you know what? Preferably?

Sketch or slip ones? Right. Sketch or slip? The ones. That would be insane. No, because listen. That would be insane.

You're right. He's up here. You're right. Emotions and dreams. Right. He's just got to put his feet in and click in his little heels. Right. Putting on Air Force ones in a cardigan, he's like trying to have sex with me.

What are you trying to ball out? He's trying to ball out. He's trying to ball in me. Sarah, that's crazy. That's really crazy that your dream is. you know, I was down at the wreck on Sunday. I went left. Guy tried to collapse on me.

I kick out to the outside. My boy hits a three. Obviously, you know, it took me like 45 minutes to understand you were talking about the sport. I was slowing it down. I slowed it down. Thank you for saying that. Yeah, I did like kitchen Spanish, like the way the line cooks would talk to me.

They go, poikito, and I go, a little. But you, like, wearing Air Force ones at a therapy session is also too much of a flex. I, yeah. And being like, ah, like I get you. Are those the sevens? Like, I'm cool. I'm cool. Also, he laughed at something I said the other day and I was like, how dare you?

Like, well, I was being hilarious. Oh, you can't. But I was being hilarious. And then he was like, but he, he's not allowed to like show like human. He, if he, that's emoting. How old is he? How old is he? Oh, emoting is necessary.

I made my therapist cry. I've got him a couple times. Oh. I've got him a couple times, dude. That's what's up. Because he's going to make me cry all the time. What did you say? I just told a story about the first time I saw my mom.

Like, it was like, I was in my 30s and it was like the first time I saw my mom be in love with my dad for the first time in my life. You're going to make me cry. It was when we were driving to my grandma's apartment and my mom was like, I haven't been here since the 70s. And then she like, or like early 80s and she stopped and she's like, I loved your father so much. And you're like, and they hated each other when I was growing up. So it was like a weird moment. And it was much longer and much more indefinitely. detail and he knows all the story

but he got misty eyed and I was like are you and he's like it's a very sweet moment you got to experience and I was like fucking brag making your therapist and I was like uh and I only did it 14 years I only got him twice was the second you don't have to say I forgot what the second one was I just remember that one because I was like damn dude

you've been breaking me you've been cracking me open this whole time god damn it I've never made him fucking actually I wouldn't know because I'm does he make you cry girl come on You know, you know I'm a lay down cryer. A crumpled up cup on the side of the way to cry. That's what I explain to my guy friends that refuse therapy because they cry about

shit where I go, buddy, that shouldn't trigger you. Like a guy stealing third base and getting away with it and they're like. But you know what? I have been moved to tears by a sport game. Yeah, sports are when it's at its best. It makes you very emotional. Angry. Well.

But also very like, that's where I think you can find. common ground with a tough Long Island. Yes. It's like he loves the Rangers so much. Yes. His ringtone on it, no, what his, he gets a, help me out. Notification. He gets a notification on his phone for every time the Rangers score a goal.

That's the sound. What's the sound? Yeah, the sound. He gets the horn. He gets the horn on his phone every time they do something. I love that. There's like, I watch sports and I go like, oh yeah, it's one of the only bonds I have with my dad.

Yeah. It was like we both, the sports teams we liked. But then I watched Katie's brother and her dad bond over hockey. And I'm like, I love this. I watch it. I go, look at this.

That's where men are allowed to be emotional together. Right. It's like allowed to like hug and like one of the craziest things I've ever seen was I was working at hilarities in Cleveland. Awesome. The night they want, yeah, you've never done it. It's great. No.

Would love to be booked. Nick and Scott, if you could. They, the Cavs won the NBA championship. That Sunday night I was doing a show but the clubs like down the street from the arena and I came out and it was the streets

filled with men hugging each other. That was what it was where they were like they were like crying. They mean that. Because they had won a championship in that city in 50 years. It was great. I like never, you know my brother I have a little brother and my dad

they were always you know sports guys my whole life like whatever. And I never paid attention because I was like, no, like, I like, dude, I like music. Yeah, you're like, sorry I like the arts. Yeah. You guys are just bashing each other's heads into it. And I'm a fool. You fool.

Look at what I miss down on. I said, literally. It's a good ballet. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful ballet. I miss down on all this. And then. I could probably sell you right now on professional wrestling.

How much time you get? Well, I'm sold. WWE socks. I'm sold. Was your dad a big? He's a long island guy. Wrestling's big on the island. Too gay.

Too gay. Okay. Too gay. My dad, my dad, he's a hockey addict and then even... Yeah, hockey guys are tough. They're tough guys.

And then I took them to a... Yeah, I took them to a ranger's game. I know. That's the flex, though. Take the ranger game. That's why I think Lauren Michaels' entire purpose on this earth is. It's to get me closer to my dad.

Yeah. Literally yes. I read his biography. His dad died when he was kid. Did he mention me or... Yeah, pretty heavy. Talking about Chevy Chase. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Bah, bah, he's an asshole. Bah, bah, bah, his dad died. Yes. And so he, that's like, it makes sense on why he does a lot of his shit because he's like, I'm going to heal that wound.

And I don't even have a father wound and I'm like, papa. Everybody does. Right, right. No one that has parents doesn't have some damage. Right. Right. Because that's why I didn't want kids. Because sure, it's a love I've never going to feel. I'm going to do so much damage that I'm unaware of.

You remember how you love video games? Well, now I have to be choked to come. And you go, crap. Should have put you on art graders with me. I wouldn't let my kids know about come. Their whole life, I wouldn't let them know about it.

Like it was like a huge accident. Like every time they came, they're like, oh, and you go, no leaks. We don't have leaks in this house. You can't be a parent.

You imagine being a parent and then your kids are out there coming. It's disgusting. Dude, I told this story to Kyle Canaan, but my mom, I'm the only child, single mom.

and we grew up in the house and when I started, I used to jerk off into my underwear. Oh no. And then my mom would do laundry. And one time my mom, you know, come smells.

No. And that was supposed to discourage you? Well, it was kind of the aware of like, hey, maybe you stop. She said come? Seamen?

I don't forget what she said. She goes, you know, jizz. I guess that's the last mom style. Yeah. My mom's not like, she's not proper.

Right. You know, she's like a lady. She's also not like got a fucking dip in. Like, here's what happens. Come. You know, it's mostly salt. Even though it's, but it's like she,

she always talked to me like a little adult. And so she said that to you so that you would feel so guilty that she would have to deal with. That was her going like cleaning up your cum. Right. And then you go, gotcha. Kleenexes. This was like, throw them away.

This is, that's actually beautiful. There was a girl, there was a pregnant girl. my high school health class who raised her hands said why does cum taste salty and then we all went ha ha ha. And she was pregnant? Yeah, she was pregnant. And we were like ha ha and you know what come tastes like. Yeah, well maybe you should have got over that. You wouldn't be having a kid at 16.

No, here's the thing. Her pussy could taste. Hmm. Hmm. More. I. Pregnant in a health class. Tough. And she asked what a surer.

She was like my doctor said my cervix was dilated. What does that mean? Yeah, it was tough. What is your, did you go to public school? Yeah, of course. Of course. Public school, though, that teacher's not built for that. No, no, no. He goes, well, I'm the football coach.

So, hot, hot hike. I don't know what to tell you, miss. It was, well, they could, it was odd because they, you know, what's dare for pregnancy? What's to scare people away from my sex? Sex said. Right. It's pretty much what. they're just trying to freak you out by going like we were freaked out they showed the video miracle

of life yeah that was yeah that was crazy that's like the first time where you see a pussy publicly right you just go like yo right and not in a way everyone even me the guy that got kicked out in the hallway that was always like we're gonna see a busy even i was like oh this is very medical yes and it is and it's it's like a it's a cronembourgian nightmare it's they get they get tired right That baby, that's an 80s baby. They made that movie in like the 70s or 80s where there was no like thought of the mother. Right. There was like a hell of fluoride in the water.

That baby's fat. Yeah, that baby's come out. That baby came out like a bottle of water from a pack you don't want to open on the end. It's just like, cow. That baby came out like Freddie Kruger clawing through the wall. I used to be so scared of Freddie Kruger. Because he could rape you in your dreams and that's why you don't dream anymore. There you go.

Have I been raped by Freddy Krueger? I don't think so. Sorry, Freddie. No means no. And this is a PSA for doing drugs. Rott your brain with resin. You're going to like what I'm about to say. You've said the most offensive thing that I've ruined a microphone,

and I'm about to like what you're fucking lay. My brother. Yeah. During the, we were watching, we're sitting around the TV watching, I have a little brother, saying little, he's 28, sitting around the TV watching the Winter Olympics. He described to me, Miracle on the ice, Oh, 1980, USA beating the USSR.

Mere description. Yeah. Sobbing, crying. How great is that? It's the most beautiful thing. It's great. I'm not going to do any research. I'm not going to watch the movie.

Watch Kurt Russell. Yeah. Oh. Hello. That was all I had to tell you. Yeah, you got to watch. What's even funnier is when you find out like sports movies that I grew up with. And then you find out later in life that like the real story sucks.

And you're like, oh, man, that was such cool. The movie Rudy about. about, you know, he's like a scrappy little guy and he walks on at Notre Dame. Have you ever heard of the movie, Rudy? I just was explained the concept of Miracle on the Ice. Yeah. Do you know Rudy at all?

Are you familiar? Babe Ruth. Not Babe Ruth. This is great. Rudy is the story of a... You're going to make me cry. Yeah, I hope so. I hope so.

But then I'll tell you the real truth of it and then it made it. Okay, okay. So Rudy, every man born, that likes football, born after, you know, maybe, when does people stop watching Rudy? Maybe 95 people stop caring? It's a classic. A guy loves, his whole family loves Notre Dame. It's Sean Austin.

Who's the actor that plays him? Sam Wise Ganges from Lord of the Rings. Did you watch Lord of the Rings? No. What kind of murder are you? I know, I know. Because if you don't do that, I go to that. Did you watch Stranger Things?

No. Sean Ashton. Sean Aston. Little guy loves Notre Dame Can't get in there, goes to school, walks on the team, gets beat up, makes the team. It crescendos with him getting into the game

in the crowd chanting his name Rudy at Notre Dame and he gets carried off the field. What was wrong with him? He's just little and he's going to play for one of the greatest football teams in the world and he wants it so bad that he won't give up and he keeps going

and then he makes the team. And he gets in the game. He's a little guy. He's a little guy. He's just talked around, tossed around like a little ball. A little ball and then he gets up, but he wants it so bad.

And then they pick him up. They go, Rudy, Rudy. Didn't produce a single tier. Nothing about. You know what? I'm going to do a movie watch along with Sarah Sherman. We're going to bring back the movie watch alongs and you and I are going to watch Rudy.

Oh, I like that. This is my problem. I never get to talk during movies. Oh, dude, we'll do a movie watch along where all you do is talk while you watch it. I will love to talk through a movie. Well, smoke, we do. I don't know if you still have your brooky chabriety. I can't.

It would, weed is the hardest drug known to man. It's harder than crack. It's harder than crack. It's literally harder than crack. What do you mean? Because you're so addicted to it? No, it's, it has psychedelic properties. Well, now they, they've,

I experienced ego death on a weed mint. Yeah, they have, they have really made it too good. No, it's not good. It's bad. They made it too crazy bad. Maybe I can find you some 90 swag. You know, I'll pick some sticks and stems out of it. Uh-huh.

And then we can roll it where you get the very silly happy, very hungry, very sleepy. That was the swag thing. Right. It was like smoke it, very giggly. Red, deep red eyes. Hunger. Deep sleep. I, this is what I, I, I've only recently had the weed that makes you stay on Stavs tour bus.

So what made you break it? You just couldn't sleep. Well, I couldn't sleep. We're getting back to, we're finishing it. We're finishing topics. Two big mouths are going to finish a single topic. And then I have another question back on the... Two big mouths.

Can you fit your whole fist and your mouth? I used to be able to. I don't think I can now and I don't have dental, so I don't want to try. You don't want to trigger your TMJ. Yeah, I don't want to fuck up. Can you? I was just wondering about it because we said big mouth. Yeah.

And I know we weren't talking about the cartoon. I take bites that upsets Katie. Right. Right. Or I take bites and she goes, yeah. Like, we'll be having Mexican food. I'll do a giant chip with guacamole. She's like, the whole thing.

And I'm like, yeah, you unhook your jaw like a snake. I don't, oh, do you have this problem? I have a problem where I will just keep, and now it's going to sound like I'm a copycat or a follower. Well, I'm not. Okay, I'm not. Yeah, you're indie. Yeah, you name.

You're underground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You name three Sarah's that, whatever. Name, whatever. You know what I'm trying to say. Whatever. Whatever. But if I try to keep pace with anyone I'm eating around.

That fucks you out. So like if I was eating with you, I would just, because we'd be talking or whatever, and I'd be eating to just keep up with you. And then I would be taking these big bites and, and. So you would try to take big bites just to keep up? But it's an automatic response. Just because you know when you're eating and you're having one, you're like, whatever. Or when you eat fast and someone eat slow and you feel like a pig.

And you're like, were you eating at a normal pace and I'm just a savage asshole? Right. I was filter feeding in this restaurant. Or if everyone else eats and I don't, I feel like I've just been talking the whole time. Why would everyone be eating and you're not? Just because, you know, you're not talking about it. Right, right, right, right.

That's what I mean. Oh, I am talking too much. You aren't watching your weight. No, I go, oh, I've had too many bites. Katie's going to be mad at me. She's going to hit me. But we're, wait, we almost. I was going to ask you a question.

We almost closed the circle. Oh, oh, Tor of us smoking. But I was. I was going to ask you a different question in sports movie. We'll come back to this. This is my best friend, my best friend, Jack Benzinger, if he has a thought and he wants to remember it, he goes like this. Put a pin in it.

And he holds it. Like, I'm holding the thought. Oh, that's great. Isn't that nice? I'm outing him for being a little autistic. It's great, though. I love his brain power games. Literally, we were at, I think we were seeing like 20 years later bone temple or something.

In the middle of the movie, I see him go like this. That's great. That's great. That's great. I fucking like. that. I like that. I think we need to start holding on to that thought. So hold on to that thought. And what's your question? Sports movie. Is there Chris Menlois sports movie? What's the movie? That's a nightmare. Chris Ben-Wa-were murdered his fame. Well, I'm saying it's like the only sports movie I think I would care about.

Oh, can I tell you where that gets a little choppy? Because he murdered his whole family. Yeah, well, he didn't choppy. He strangled. Not the kids. Yeah, killed his kid. Killed his kid with exercise. He put his, he put like extra, he like killed his kid with like exercise equipment. Like put the thing around his neck and then like broke his neck. Oh yeah, it's horrible. It's a horrible, horrible thing. This is why we can't make a movie.

Is this what the movie you wanted? It's the each of all I would sort of movie. That's where I would think you'd be able to do it. It could only be done as a date line or a 2020. Or a Lifetime. Or a Lifetime. No, Inglorious Bastards. The kids killed.

Sick, dude. He goes, here's what I want. Okay. The kid's not dead, okay? He's out of it. His feet are bare. Okay. Yeah, dude, if he made it back, like an alternative history.

Yes. Chris Benoit's like, Bon voyage, my giant. I don't know why I'd make him French-Canadian. I think he's from Alberta. No, he's from Calgary. But the kid would kick out. Yeah.

Kill him. And do the whatever Hulk smash. Yeah, the Hulk, you'd Hulk out. What is Chris Benoit's move? Diving headbutt. Do he would do the diving headbut? Or the cross-faced crippler. Oh my God.

Which if you would like, I could show on Myrtle. I put her in wrestling submissions. Cross-face crippler. Yeah. You have to too many. Maybe you had a couple too many grumsmen. So what broke the weed sobriety? Ping.

We. No, but like you couldn't sleep and then you went out to the bus. And they were going to tell me more about Chris bread and while killing his whole family. I don't want to talk about him. It was very sad. As a wrestling fan, it was one of those things where he was so good at wrestling that when it happened, you went, fuck.

Really? Yeah, because there's like a lot of guys that suck in their shitheads and you go, fuck that guy. But he was not, you were surprised. He was really good at wrestling. Was he a- Yeah, it was a shocking thing. Heal? Yeah, he was a great bad guy.

No one saw it coming. No, he was like. Because there are some guys if I found, if I opened the newspaper, and yeah, let's keep print alive. Let's keep it a buck. I read, fuck. If I open it, if I see, there's some guys, if I open the newspaper tomorrow and I see that they've killed their whole family,

I'm not surprised. Yeah, no, mind. But this, you were surprised. It was shocking. Right. They did a tribute to him on Monday Night Raw. After he killed his whole family? They didn't know.

Him and his family were found dead. And then the next night on Monday Night Raw, they, like, did like a 17 bell salute. Shoot. There's like literally all the wrestlers standing there and they're like, some of them are in street clothes and some of them were dressed with like there's stuff coming off their arms, you know, like their flare, and they're sitting there like this

and they're like, dong. Dong, and then it comes out in the coming weeks that he murdered his family. And everyone was like, shit. So now you can't find that Monday Night Raw. You cannot find that. They scrubbed that shit. My bad, y'all.

Oh, y'all, turns out he was a family annihilator. Mommy. Dude, moving now tomorrow. Let me play the wife. Please, please. You can't play. her. Why? Because she... She was all woman.

Her name was... Her name in WCW was a woman. Was she also? She was like a manager and she used to date another wrestler. And then she left that wrestler for Chris Benoit. They started a family. Dude, this is a fucking movie. There's documentaries.

She should go watch. Go watch Dark Side of the Ring. Shit's fucked up. See, I just want to like pull your little string let you talk, girl. No, girl. Listen, I'm a wrestling girlie. I'm a murder girl.

Whose song was Ace of Spades? Triple H. See, that's my one rest of fact. He wouldn't come out to Ace of Spades. He'd come out to a other Lemmy song called The Game. Oh. Oh, the game. It's time to play the game.

Because what's funny about that is, my phone is in here, that's what, when we were potty training during COVID, that we would do a thing where I would play that song. Because when we would take her outside, we were training her. So we'd walk her outside. And then if she didn't pee, you come back in, wait a little bit, take her back outside, pee. But then when she does pee, you come back inside, you give her a treat.

Being like, see, you pee outside. Right. So we were potty training her. And then every time I would go to do it, like the game song, I would play it. I'd go, Mertil. It's time to make the B. I got to watch out. I go, let's go on a walk.

that really reminds me of COVID because every morning I'd go it's time to play the game and I'd play it and we'd go outside or I would do the fuck what band is that I'm going for a walk I think it's like

they're cool you're a music gal how do you not know that nah I don't know that I bet you think this band is corny too I bet it's not a good name this might be guy stuff

this might be guy stuff i don't know about guy stuff going for a walk is you know what's great about podcasts is i know someone knows that song and is screaming it at their uh you fucking idiot you didn't know that go for a walk is Willie Nelson's biggest Christmas album oh damn it bad religion

oh sure I hate to break it to you I'm not a bad you're not a bad religion who's your favorite band of all time My favorite band of all time? I guess Fleetwood Mac. I guess. Have you seen them live? I have not.

And now one of us, Christy died. Yeah, may she fucking rest. And hold that. I'm still holding that. Hold that. May she fucking. Isn't that?

I've never seen that live favorite band of all time. I don't know. Never happened. I don't know. I met. Lindsay Buckingham was at SNL once. Were you right? I went crazy.

And a security guard had to be like, no pictures. I am. You're like, I'm on the cast. Did you know he was coming that whole day? No, no. Best way to meet someone.

Who is your biggest, you didn't know someone was coming best way to meet someone? That's a good one. Matureman, Randy Savage. I swear to God. You saw him online at Pratt,

getting a hard boiled egg. I go, what are you going to? He's going to get in a cell. No, I worked at a radio station and I went in to pick up. Right. I went into pickup.

Radio voice. Yes. That's correct, Sarah. I went in to pick up my paycheck And my program director was like You should go in the production studio And I was like, why? He's like, you should go into production studio

And I opened the door And it was macho man Promoting his rap album. That one. Be a man. Someone bought it for me on vinyl. Ever right there. Awesome.

Where he raps and he talks shit to Hulk Hogan. Awesome. Be a man, Hulk. Shit rules. Why did they have beef? They were friends and then wrestlers You know, they're like comics. They're messy.

There's one wrestler who has slid into my DMs a couple times. Can you bleep this out? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slid. Really? Yeah. He's a handsome man.

Hey, not bad. Hey, he's still got it, Sherman. You go, hey, Sherman, you still got your good stuff. See, how it feels about lizards. Geckos losing their tail. See, I wasn't going to get a fucking gecko. And now you've brought it up so many times. I'm like, I have to get it to, like, prove a fucking point to you that I actually could be actually a cool lizard girl.

But then guess what? There's going to be that moment where you're a gecko. maybe named Lindsay. I don't know if you're naming it after Fleetwood Mac. Maybe Christy. Up on her rock, enjoying a heat lamp, and you're going to see her smile,

and you're going to feel good. I know. Then you're going to go in there, and you're going to put your finger, and Lindsay's going to crawl on your finger, and you're going to bring it right here. I have a fantasy. You're going to go,

I get why I got mouth raped by Myrtle. Oh, getting mouth raped by a gecko. No, not the insurance one. My shirt. Yeah. With like a little, with little claws in there. Oh my God.

You just have her? If you just had her at a table read, she just, oh, I want one. You go, Sarah, there's a new gecko policy.

So there's this thing where the gecko, you know, Paul Simon and he didn't. He used to have a gecko. It really was bad for the room. You understand. If the tail comes off, what do you do with it?

You bury it. Put in your ear. She's crying about it. Why? She's crying about the tail coming off. I'm still holding it I'm still holding it I think you put it in your ear like a cigarette

we smoke it yeah you go you go let's get that lizard what do people smoke when they smoke the toad that's fake it is I don't know smoking frogs you know about this toad venom you're just saying that because of his pants

no the toad venom you're judging him by his pants Oh, like I'd judge anyone for their pants. Look how bad Myrtle wants to get out and mouth rape you again. Because you played her peeing game song. Dude, I'm actually worried about that. I was just thinking about that. It is real.

It's time to play the peeing game. Smoking the toad refers to inhaling the dried venom of the Sonoran Desert Toad, which contains the powerful psychedelic substance 5 MEODMT. Miss me with that. Miss me with that. Do I ever coming at you about lizard knowledge? frog lizard whatever dog if it's got web feet i ain't fucking bringing it up to yeah well remember when you couldn't get a little baby turtle because they're illegal in new york yeah remember that what is what

was that i don't know because they have a disease oh maybe is it legionnaires that's in the water what is that legionnaires disease is diarrhea disease i think so diarrhea throughout history put a pin in it Sarah Sherman is fucking fantastic. She's on Saturday Night Live. She has an HBO special. She's also in the new movie roommates on Netflix. Oh, yeah. Go watch everything she does.

She's a lizard lady and she's A-OK with me. Oh, my God, that was so fast. Right? I didn't even know it started or ended. You're free. That shit. Take a photo. Is that an hour?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That was a fun day. You're so bad. Yes.