Soder - 140: Normalize Diarrhea with Ari Shaffir | Soder Podcast | EP 137

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

Support the sponsors to support the show!F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code SODER15 attheperfectjean.nyc/SODER15 #theperfectjeanpodhttps://theperfectjean.nyc/?utm_source=Soder&utm_medium=Podcast&amount=15percentDownload Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wdild9do #CashAppPodCash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A.Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flexcard. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wdild9do That’s BROOKLYNBEDDING.com and promo code SODER for 30% off sitewide. Support our show and let them know we sent you after checkout!https://brooklynbedding.com/Our listeners can buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/SODER and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #adhttps://www.warbyparker.com/?&wpsrc=Podcast&singular=59085_2026Q1?utm_campaign=2026Q1&utm_content=audio&utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=soderSoder is building a new hour on the road!Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tourJuly 9-11 Batavia,ILJuly 16-18 Stamford,CTJuly 25 - Montreal, Canada JFLJuly 31 - August 1 - Albany,NYAugust 13-15 Baltimore,MDAugust 20-22 Spokane,WASeptember 10-12 Portland,MESeptember 17-19 Hartford,CTOctober 2-3 Alburquerque,NMOctober 4-7 Fort Collins,COOctober 19-21 Winnipeg, CanadaOctober 22-24 Calgary,CanadaNovember 5-7 Salt Lake City,UTDecember 10-12 Rochester,NYFollow Ari Shaffirhttps://www.instagram.com/arishaffir/?hl=enhttps://arishaffir.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorKWMEloZm9KWWDgj8Mvu_1_EclVkGcmokdmJFFRLoRUa2_xwNohttps://www.facebook.com/arishaffirstandup/https://www.youtube.com/c/arishaffirPLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572Connect with SoderTwitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoderInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoderTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoderYoutube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy#dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcastProduced by  Mike Lavin     https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

July 16th through the 18th, I'm going to be at New York Comedy Club in Stanford, and then Montreal, just for laughs. I'm going to be there July 25th at Club Soda, doing an hour. So it's going to be, you know, mostly the Netflix hour. If you didn't hear it, I didn't go to Montreal on the tour, plus some new jokes. But then after that, it's all me working on new stuff. So I will see you in Albany, July 31st and 1st at the Albany Funny Bone. Just go to dance soda.com.

What am I doing? just go to dance soda.com. After Albany, go to dance soda.com. It's all there. We all put it up. But I'm on the road. Working on a new hour. So come check it out.

I hope you like it. There's going to be some real humbingers on there. There's going to be some real shitty ones too. So just come see it. Come watch you get birthed. Watch me push them out. On the road. But thank you for watching the podcast.

Now we can hit record and get the real shit talking going. Ted Sarandis. He said I don't read the roast. And I was like, I was like, hey, buddy. I'm like, and afterwards, you know, I felt like a fool. I should have said, like, hey, we've never officially met. Amari.

I liked the way you stood up for Chappelle. Thanks for whatever, but nice to meet you. What was... Instead of pretending. This is a question that obviously I can't ask Lewis because he'll just go like... Lewis of Skanks? Oh my God, him dancing when the rock came out. We were having a good time.

Everyone noticed it. Were you drunk? We were having a good time. Yeah, that's awesome. We were having a good time. So when Shane made the joke, about why did you put the rich people up front? Yeah.

All the animals are on the side and you heard the crowd going on. A good idea to get them involved. It was great. Yeah. Did you feel like the rich people were fucking shit up? Could you feel that in the jokes? It was early on.

It was right away. It was right away. It was opening monologue. We were walking in and who was on stage. Oh, fucking. So you came in late? No, no, no. There was a warm up back.

They would everybody go in. Oh, really? Yeah. And they put Alonzo Bowden? Alonzo Bowden on stage. I saw us. And people were walking and talking. He's yapping.

He was saying stuff about George Wallace. And he was just, George, George, I'm talking to you. And he's like, I don't even know. I had to go over and like, George. Like that. Like, no one's paying attention. It was like a, and this is in the pit right in front of the day. It was a check drop spot to warm up.

It was so dumb. Just have a band going. And then lower the house lights once everybody's in. And oh, we're ready to start. It was, it was, it was, they set him up. The only other one where I saw. was before the strokes. They put Seton in the dark on a shitty mic and said, go.

Before the strokes. Yeah. In between bands. I was so rough. Yeah. That is a gig where I was really wondered because I thought when you saw the countdown on Netflix, it was going to go to like a red carpet and like someone who's hosting and, hey, the event's about to start and now we're going to go in live to the. But they were just went like, here's Shane Gillis.

And then he just came out and did the jokes. There's so much that me as a producer would do different on everything. Oh, my God. Number one. On any shoot and I look at where the cameras. I just start. I don't have a really good point. Because I immediately was like, did you go?

You didn't go. No. I was out of there as fast as I possible. If Big J wasn't on it, then I don't know if I don't know if I would have gone. Yeah, dude. And by the way, Big J fucking murdered. Big J. He loved it.

He was Big J. It's what I told him. Yeah. I was only nervous that the crowd would not, would be upset about how ugly is. But they seemed to not. They seemed that. Shane set the tone for gross. He did look like he ran a Reno strip club with the red and the hair. But where he wasn't the lineup, I stopped being worried when I saw it.

No, we got it together. He goes, they sent me the lineup. We're like, where am I like, oh, dude. And also you're following a non-comic? Yeah. It was perfect. I think everyone followed a non-comic. Yeah.

And that was the note, I would say that was a good note. But something that I said that Katie had a good point on where I was like, haven't they learned from Comedy Central to edit these? So it's just like an hour of killer shit. And then Katie was like, I guarantee with all the famous people they get, they can't do a taped because everyone the next day would be butt hurt and be like, hey, you can't do that joke about me. Hey, you can't do that joke about me.

Like it would get heavily, heavily edited. Well, they would have to go. Because they're already cutting jokes now if they watch it. Oh, they did. That weren't. I was going to say you should have the live version and then a better version later. Yeah. I mean, Kevin Hart went on two and a half hours into the show.

He should be on an hour 40 into the show. Exactly. And also the Rock did like 30 when he should have done. Oh, when did we just find out the Rock's a black comic? Yeah. Rapid, Rapid Sharad. Holy shit.

Sharad. Yeah, dude, he was dabbing himself. He was like, ladies looking lovely here tonight. He hit him with that. He hit him with the ladies look lovely here. Did you see anybody at the roast that didn't want to see you? Like, did you see any like famous people that you're like, you don't fucking like me? Great question, Dan.

Interviewer, Dan, that was a great question. I do. I think that's a great question. There's one I thought I saw on the way out that I realized like, oh, shit, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't vet who was at my table. It could have been anybody that one that we, we both were in the green room a long time ago. Yeah. And I think I saw that guy and I was like, oh, my God, thank God, I didn't have to sit at a table. Yeah.

Did you, did you know. My table ruled. Who was your table? Me and Lewis. Great. By the way. Lewis. How upset Lewis was for getting guest of Ari Shafier, because I told them.

them his name so much. And I was like, did you see that? He goes, he was so mad. He was waiting for the J too. Final Lewis. He was waiting for that J in the car. He goes, it's J.

they put the J in. And they're like, well, it doesn't matter. It goes, put it in anyway then. No, this is just for the cameras know who they're shooting. So put it in. Yeah, so put it to the J. Because they know it's me, doggy.

Sat down, Papa was there with his wife. Great. Who I've met his wife too. Love Tom Papa. God, that guy rules. He reads the best. Didn't bring bread.

That sucks. But. But did he judge the bread they gave you? Did they give you food there? So I asked beforehand because I'm like, I'm going to get lit. So we had to take these pictures, the red carpet, so uncomfortable. It's great. Lewis grabbing your dick.

What a skanks picture. I loved it. I absolutely loved it. It was also so funny that they were like, we come in, but it's like one, two, three, four. The step and repeat. And then Chelsea is over there. So they go, oh, no. And they're going a long lens.

I'm like, no, guys, I'm here. It's supposed to take my picture now. Like, yeah, yeah, we're going to long lens this winner. Damn. Yeah. So they skipped you for, and they're like, guys, and they go, for far away Chelsea Handler. Yeah.

We'll take one shot, yeah. But yeah, you got the dick. I mean, Lewis got the dick grab. Did you take the gloves off? We held them on. You held them on? You both had them on. And then DeRosa came and goes, I can't go alone.

I couldn't either. Yeah. So I understand. I'll go with you. I took those off because it was just DeRosa. Okay. Although he was a temporary candidate for. He was until you,

Isn't it? Usurped him with Shane. Who betrayed the betrayed. When Shane moved in, all under my funding. Yeah, there were people that I know. And then Eric Andre was there. Oh, I saw him at your table. He ruled.

Yeah, that was a fun. I bet that was a fun here. I've been, I've seen on like a couple times in the last week. And it was like, oh, yeah, I forgot that guy's just a comic. Some of these guys who go on to become massive stars and then change slightly. With Eric is like, oh, yeah, you're the same dude as as JFL when we were both trying to get on stuff. What I learned from him doing this podcast, he's like literally punk rock.

He is so punk rock. He's like, he's very punk rock. Like he wants to fucking burn it down at all times. Every time. It's great. That was his show. Yeah. When he was on here, he wanted to burn it down.

And then we were like, dude, I live here also. Stop. Yeah. I was just kind of like, there was a moment where I was like, man, dude, fucking chill out. And then he was like, da, he completely went like, that. Like, you got it. Once you get him.

So that's a fun. So DeRosa, Eric Andre. No, no, no, DeRoson was there. I just saw him before and he goes, I can't do this red carpet thing alone, please. Because we're so, you're, you'd be the same way. I hate it. This is not our vibe.

I refuse to do billions red carpets. Everyone else knows how to hold their arms and. Or they go like this. Oh, yeah, there's over here, over here. Give us another pose. I just went through and went, that's why if you see my red carpet picture from, I think it's season two or three of billions,

I go like this. That was the only smile like, I was it. That's where Lewis comes in handy. Oh, he doesn't give a fuck at all, so that he's straight dick grab. Yeah. And they're like, Lewis will be like this. He'll pro wrestle the red carpet.

It's great. Just spit water and be like, what are you guys going to fucking do? He's a theater kid. He doesn't see any moments. He just goes, I'm doing my thing always. Yeah, he's a tornado. If he comes in and fucking crashes your shit. You were dancing in the roots.

No, our table was having a blast. Did you see tables that weren't? I'll tell you, there was Moe and earthquake. Sure. Like up and right there. Sure. And earthquake was standing up, going for it every time. Earthquick is having a good time.

So was Moe. Because earthquake also, earthquake is in the audience, more than that. When you have a crowd, if you have three fat black ladies in front having a good time, everyone's having a good time. And earthquake did that to that bottom section. Great. He's the fat black lady. He was having a fun time.

Having a blast. Also, yo, that was a great one. And everyone was like, I guess we'll stand up. And also at rock shows, the white ladies that dance. Yeah, same thing. Because they get other people to go like, oh, we're all dancing. This is moving. You need people moving and grooving in the front section.

Yeah. But it felt like they were a lot of executive, when Shane said that, when he was like all these fucking rich people up front. It's, it is. It's like, yeah. So I heard something that Billy Joel did when he was on tour with the gay.

I've heard this story. Yeah. Where he was like, no, no, no, go get the. So they don't sell the first two rows. Yeah. And they're like, we need the first two rows to be lively. Sure.

So go get the back row, choose people, bring them up. Yes. And then now it's like, I was already going to have a good time. Could you imagine if they would have done that with this roast? That's what I said to Katie. They should have done that. Why don't they have done that? Why don't they have four rows, right, of just seats?

No tables. Before the cameras. Ahead of the cameras. Or even. Or even. Just just like almost like a monitor. Just a monitor. Yeah.

So that they can fucking hear the laughs. Because that was the worst part is when they do jokes and you're like, I don't know if they knew that that was funny. Because it feels like the audience didn't. We could hear very well. We could. Yeah. That part was great. I mean, I don't know.

I had a blast. So it was, it was me, Tom, Eric, Tom's wife, Eric's chick, me and my chick Lewis. Guest of Larry Shavir. And then one last seat for our friend, our friend Molly. That's fun. And then, oh my gosh,

you were probably hugging people. Dude, we were having a blast. Yeah. And was there a moment of, like, being very proud of Jay? Where you were like,

so much. And Shane? And then, yes. And Tony. And Tony and Pete. And you go, look at all these guys doing it.

Yeah. They're doing it. I mean, even just seeing Jay up there, I went and shook, like, slept high five beforehand. I could see him like this.

I was like, he was great. He was great. He's great. And I kept looking at Shane. We kept looking at Jay. We're doing these. And he would do it.

Three four life. And he would do it. Shane would look out. I could see him look at me and I was like. So that would be funny. What's funny is there were moments where we were watching. Like during the rock thing, we were just like watching Shane stare down. And we were like.

But then I knew Tommy and Chris and all them were at a table. They were there too. So I was here. They were like there. That's what we were wondering. We were wondering if they were in Shane's eye lines. because he would do something. He was looking out.

Shane was so smooth and having a good time that when he started riffing at the end. Cheryl was the only one that really rift. You could see the monitor if you looked. And she was like talking.

She was like, I'm going to do my own thing. I'll speak from the heart. Yeah. Yeah. And she took a beating and came back out and did great. Having a blast.

Talk. And it was like he was so smooth with it. That's, I would have been sweating and like I couldn't, I wouldn't be able to see anybody from the other. The first thing I noticed that he broke,

which really made me laugh was when Tom Brady thing. And then he came back. He goes, well, that was fucking annoying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, oh, he didn't pre-write that. He didn't pre-write that. He was just a comic in the moment.

He was just feeling it. Yeah. And he's like, what is that? Fucking crazy. Like, his genuine reaction is that. Like, if you went on stage at the stand and tried a character that didn't go anywhere, I would, and you wouldn't fault me if we're going,

Hey, Dan, remember when you thought that would work? Yes. That's the whole point of a roast. And you go, well, that fucking sucked. Yeah, exactly. And it's a roast. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was great.

I thought it was very long. But I think, like, in the age of modern celebrities that they're going to edit everything out, if they don't like a thing that was said, you're like, great. I would say you should be able to edit, but only if what I said didn't work. Let's take that down a little bit. I don't get any on what other people say to me. Yeah. Yeah, you should be able to control your own.

It was so funny. Chelsea had these jokes written in about how totally is problematic. And Shane is problematic after change brings her up as she hangs out with Epstein. That was the best thing. And then, you know, like, Jews. He goes, I was never even accused about like Jews. Yeah. I've never seen a better intro on a roast.

Way to cut your legs out. I'm just flat out fucking facts. And I love Chelsea. It was just a funny, it was just a funny way to do it. What the fuck are you drinking? Mante. Siraba.

Siraba. What is that? It looks like he's drinking leaves. Yeah. Is it weed? It's Argentinian. What is it? It's just ground up.

It's just everywhere from from southern south. Hold on. Can I show the camera? I don't know if the camera can see this, but it's like, it looks like fucking. Yeah. I don't know.

Oh, here we go. Manianita. It's a decent brand, maniaita. What is it? Like a coffee? No, it's tea. Everyone is south-eastern Chile to all of Argentina, Uruguay, and then southern Brazil, and then in Paraguay, they drink it cold.

Fucking animals. Cold. So that's hot water. It's hot-ish. It's not boiling. And you put it in this and it makes it like a tea? Did you get into this before this last adventure? No, this adventure is when I get into it.

This adventure? Yeah. I'm drinking. I'm driving a camper van on shitty, shitty roads in Patagonia, with winds so high that when you pass somebody, like I might get taken into them. You would pee and spray everywhere if you got out to pee. And I needed some energy.

So I was driving and I was like, cut me, cut me. And this was the stuff you were doing. Was that easier to find in like coffee? In Argentina or in Uruguay, it's everywhere. So at every airport, if you're at an airport, they'll have a water fountain and a Yerba fountain where you can get the right. underneath is that what it's a brand there's like 10 brands okay it's a decent brand today's

episode is brought to you by manianita guys be sick if you're looking for the great taste of some smoothy you know much i would love is a sponsor of a language i didn't speak and i had no clue it's cultural irrelevance i just think that's like uh that's always something that's a little morning what's manianita maniana manianana i don't maybe it's little yeah but that thing about you're like a you're like a this is the kind of friend everyone should have that tries crazy shit that Maybe you don't want to try, but sometimes occasionally it is some shit you want to try and you go, this isn't one of them. Okay.

It looks like you're drinking fucking mulch. I'm honest enough to tell you like, hey, I try to, like, I don't do that way. We're like, dude, you should. Sure. Like guinea pig. I'm like, O'Neill came to visit and I'm like, bro, it's not a, it's not a funny thing to eat. It's delicious. So I had a teacher in high school that was from Peru and she was like, we love guinea pig.

We eat guinea pig all the time. It's not like, can you believe what we're doing? But we were like white kids in Colorado and I think it was like high school or middle school we were like, ew eat fucking guinea pig. And then my friend who was very smart was like, oh no, it's a delicacy there. They like love it. Yeah, you can't even afford

it always because it's like graduation shit, but also a whole one is like 30 bucks. Did you? And try it? It's earthy. It's earthy. Oh, this? It's earthy. Yeah, I'll try it. I'm like, I ain't trying to suck it all down. I go, I like guinea big. It's earthy. So it takes them getting used to.

Yeah. I I don't I don't hate it I don't hate it I thought I was going to hate it yeah it is it's very tea it's very like if your bag of tea busted open so some people who with good sugar in there other people put one mint leaf and buried in there or a little slice of lemon to give some taste what was the shit you were drinking um remember when we were doing sixth and jump and you got drunk and you got drunk with those construction workers and they gave you like a bucket of something do you remember that this was in central America and you were like thing. Yeah, you were like, he like showed up. First off, when we were doing sixth and jump during the pandemic, we're all on Zoom. Jay and I are in Zoom in New York. What a good time. I love them.

That's what we're worth it. Oh, yeah. Oh, for COVID. I didn't know. Whatever. Your mom and people are gone. Gone and forgotten, but those memories are real. But I remember you showing up.

Like, at first it's Ari's apartment and then you guys went to Central America in South America. And all of a sudden it was just a jungle as you're setting. While everyone was changing. their settings to look like jungles? Let me put some looks in that I might have wanted to read. Or they're doing a fake one of like, look at me, I'm in the tropics. Straight up, Ari was just on a porch with the jungle behind them. And we were like, oh, that's real.

Dude, I had such few joys. And one of them was like, I'm about to log on. Let me make this look as ridiculous as possible. And you would like walk through. Coconut with a straw. Yeah. Oh, what's going on? Yeah.

And they're like, which by the way, I think I'm telling you this live on my podcast, but Jay and I agreed for Skankfest this year. we're doing six and jump again. I should do it too. No, you don't know what you're fucking dickhead. We're going to watch Johnny Depp's last episode. That's great.

I think we'll do Depp's last episode. And we should do that. When he left the show? What he left? Like the final Johnny Depp episode. It's the best thing I was kidding for you. You can just do some of this stuff. Yeah, I'm in.

And then how we did it? Because we did the movie watch along at Netflix as a joke. And I tried to explain to him how we did Sixth and Jump was perfect. With the monitors in front, the venue just couldn't do it. But there was a lag between the movie and the monitors at Netflix as a joke. So, but a million dollars a second not to get the sound right, not enough. I mean, we had a bunch of problems. They didn't download it.

Remember how, dude, before, that's why when DeRosa said that, and you'll hear this. By the way, we're going to, I think we were released the, uh, Made in Manhattan Watch along with Tim Dillon, Joe DeRosa, and James McCann on Punch Up Live. We did a thing where we were like, we'll download it. And they're like, it's Netflix. We'll just stream Netflix. And then in the middle of it, it crashed in the Wi-Fi. And you're like, dude, this is why we told you.

That was Rogan when he did the live thing. I was, dude, I watch it live. So how was it live? I'm like, I mean, it lagged a bunch. It kept flipping off. Yeah. The jokes were great, but like, it kept lagging. It was not a pleasurable experience to watch.

But it was something that we anticipated. And we were like, hey, we should download the movie, which we did on sixth and jump. Yeah. And it worked fantastic. We could go back. We could go forward. That was when Seabock was illiterate. We found out.

What a great time. We should have put that out on something. Pied Mines. Yeah, dude, in the Pied Mines. There is no career day. We should find all those and just put them up on your punchup. And by the way, punchup. Dot Live is where it is because everyone will sign up.

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And everyone got the third and fourth podcast and second third. And then it became like, oh shit, we're back in the road. This is getting more difficult. Yeah, we actually really sad to have left it. Yeah, but it was such a fun thing. Such a fun thing. It kept our sanity. It really, honestly, like, I would get in a studio apartment I rented on like, whatever.

That was the first time we saw each other in a long time And we got to hang out People forget the good parts of COVID Which was like seeing your friends again And you realized you missed seeing your friends Like he's like I'm trying to figure out how I get this done I don't know let's put a camera behind the But it was fun

There was shit There's things about humanity that like technology takes away That you're like no dude There was fun about seeing each other again About like that's what I didn't like about the festival It didn't have the festival No hangout except the store Was it the fact

Acto one, but that was booze, so it's not as pleasurable. But also, the store was fun. It was too packed. It was too packed. It was overwhelming. I couldn't have a conversation with somebody without someone else being like, Hey. Yo, can I just break in?

You're like, I mean, I saw Norman and he was like, I'm freaking out. I was like, I know, it's a lot. Because that was where my home was. I started there. I know. So I knew, Norman. I know, I know crevises. Come with me.

By the way, shout out Rose. Because she immediately was like, oh, smoke a joint in the back. There's no one back there right now. You guys go back there. And I went back there. like three people we hung out. Rose was a waitress at first, so she also knows the crowd. She knows the vibe.

She knows what you want. Yeah, she was like, get over here. This shit's going on. At one point she was like, just go around here because I was like, I want to smoke a joint of people. And she was like, you're fine. Yeah, it was fun. More and more than I go back, I understand the store in a way that I don't think I did

when I was just here in New York. Oh, you probably looked at it as this place. It was our clubhouse. I mean, what I think like more and more I go back, I see that, especially because like, I remember early on when you were still, you were living here, but you'd go back to L. If I was in L.A. and you were there, I'd be like, I'll go to the store because R. can show me around. Yeah.

But now the more I've gone, I've been like, oh, I see where people hang, kind of how it moves. So Rogan tried to recreate. He was like, where the hangout spot's going to be? Like, where might you all just end up gathering? One is in the store is the back hallway. That's it. The door guy's my old job was to go to massive celebrities.

Guys, I'm so sorry. It's bleeding it. You got to leave the hallway. Was there anyone that you remember being a prick about it, about being like you being like a door guy and being like, hey dude, I'm sorry. Because when they do that, a lot of times you're in the middle of having fun.

You're like interrupting and having fun. We're like joking around and shit and people are like... Luckily, they were comedians celebrities and said they would get them like, guys, you're fucking up the show. Do you mind? I got to get outside.

Or in or out, in or out. Well, a couple times where I was the door guy, one time, probably two times. One time I was working the booth at the comedy store and the time Duncan had left, He was a talent coordinator. So I was an assistant talent coordinator. So if somebody wanted something, it fell to me just for two weeks.

What a shitty spot to be in as a comic. Yeah. So you're dealing with people's egos. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, you had to work HR. You'd work HR for two weeks. But not really. It was just Mitzi doing it.

We're just writing it down and delivering the message. Sure. There was no, like, hook me up like, we can't. She's still involved. So anyway, this black homeless guy came through the back door, the main room, towards me. And the back door guy points at him, like, get him out. out some guy in a fucking in sweatpants and a sweatshirt and I was like fuck okay how do I do this because

I'm 140 pounds of this man I'm not a good door guy but I know not to fuck out the show I'm like let him get out first then close it behind him it's like trapping a bug yeah you go well how are you gonna get this bugs out of this if it's going on his own let him go just go then shut the window shut the window so so he comes out and I put the thing behind me and I can help you and he turns and it's Chris Rock it's not some black guy it's Chris Rock and he goes Can I go on next? And I may not have my fists ready to fucking fight. And I have to do two.

I'm like, one, oh, there's no fight. And two, there's an actual super high-level comedian asking me for, he needs information. And I was like, oh. Okay. Well, people usually go on in the original room, not the main room. And he goes, yeah, but I look to the line up. There's like four comics left in the original room. And this is the last comic in the main room.

And it's better not to bump anybody, right? And I was like, that's nice to hear. Yeah. That is nice to hear. First, I never seen him before. There was the first time he came in. That's crazy. And I was like, yeah, by the way, did about 55 minutes or so till 155.

And he goes, ah, shit, well, I know the waitresses get off of two, so I don't want to keep them. Great. So that's it for me. Man, I'll tell you right now, and this goes about any job. This is not just stand-up. This is not just entertainment. When people understand what other people do at a job, it makes them such a better fucking coworker, where you go, yeah, you're being a dick.

Even if you, like, rise up and become a vice. president if you go well i know the guy at the parking garage gets off at eight i don't want to stay past eight because then this parking garage guy's got to wait it was like when i was a waiter and i was waiting on a table and it was late and it was like the dinner and people would look around and go oh shit bring us a check now we'll get out of here versus on my birthday one year i was working a thursday night and this couple had a romantic dinner where they were talking to each other about how cute it was they shut down the restaurant and you go well it's not cute i turn on the lights and my My manager got mad at me because he was like, no, you got to keep the lights low.

It's like, it's two hours past our closing. And I've pulled everything from their table. All they have is water glasses. In the movie, it's like, it's so cute. We shut it down. It's not. You're seeing behind the things, like, come on. I literally would come back like this.

I would come back from smoking a cigarette. And I'd be putting my apron on. Can you move? And I look at the businer and I go, Francisco, they still there? And he's like, see? And you're like, yeah. I'm like in the kitchen, like, I want to go get drunk. I want to go get drunk with my, it's my birthday, too.

So it's like, you know when you're poor and it's your birthday and you work at a job like a waiting, you're like, people are going to buy me drinks. This is the one time of year where I'm going to have a free bar tab. Please let me go. And they're like, I could stare into your eyes. But I like with big comics do that. Ray Romano does that. Ray Romano comes into the cellar and he goes, who's up?

And you're like, dad. He goes, all right, I'll go up next. And you're like, thanks, Ray. And like, I remember what you start doing impressions? When'd you become a voice guy? I remember one time, Louis, I was, this is before he got in trouble. This is when he was like king shit. I was sitting on the stairs and he came in

and he didn't really talk to lower level comics. But he came in and he, I was sitting on the stairs and they're like, well, Dan Soder's next. And he looked at me and he goes, is it cool if I go up and do like 10 or 15? And you go, you could have just done it. Thank you for asking. Absolutely yes.

That's exactly what I said. I go, you could have done that you didn't need to ask. It's also funny. But also, you do need to ask. It's just so few people have that you're like, you technically don't have to. We know, we understand you don't have to. But like, you do need to.

As a human, you do. Just none of them do. None of them. It will become surprising. When they come in and they're like, that's why, like, what broke my heart about Chappelle one night was he was there. And Michelle Wolf and I were like getting bumped. And he like knows Michelle.

He's like friends with her and I'm on there. And he was just like, I was upstairs. And someone from the club was like, Dave, are you going to go up? And he goes, I don't really know if I want to. You know what? I'll go up. And now you just bumped. Now you see that guy.

Like, don't fucking. Ask him. Yeah, that's exactly. I won't tell you which manager it was, but I went up and I went, what the fuck? Now I don't get the go up. And they were like, oh, you know, and you're like, fuck and I get it. I mean, I get it, but also like. But being a good coworker, I think that art is lost.

Like the art of like being empathetic towards a guy you work with. I send all my managers and assistants and agents and assistants, I'll, I get high and get ideas. So I'm sending it. But now I go, oh, let me schedule send this for Monday morning. Sure. And not for Friday night. This is when I have the idea, but you don't have to be, or I'll go, guys, this is definitely after the weekend thing,

if it's Friday day. I'm like, this is definitely for next week. This is not urgent. Yeah, but my idea's here right now and I will forget it. That's great. And that's, like, there really is like this thing of, you know, my manager lives in L.A. So there's mornings where I wake up, it's nine in the morning here,

and I'm up and I'm like, hey, fucking blah, blah, man. I'm about to type it. I'm like, it's six in the morning there. Schedule send. It just, yeah, schedule send is fucking giant. The other major time, there was a homeless guy that came in, like a white homeless guy. I was like, no, no.

And I'm walking down the hallway, but then as I get up there, I noticed he's talking to dice. So I'm like, okay, now he's bugging dice, but also he's got a mink coat on. And I'm like, no. And then I'm like, and Eleanor was like, Rick Rubin. I was like, oh, that I just kept walking by. That's crazy. That's crazy that you're like, no, no, no, no, my God. No, absolutely not.

Oh, it's one of the greatest producers of all time. That is the thing about L.A. that is. Shave your fucking look like a man. Rick. That is the difference between LA and New York City though.

I get into show with that look. Is New York City straight up will be a homeless guy. It will not be Rick Rubin or Chris Rock. You get a guy

you go, oh, he's covered in shit. And he's inside. The crazy thing about being a door guy is the fact that you're a comic that has to be a bouncer. It's the only club I know

where they make... It's the best because the comics respect the door guys because half of them used to be them. Yeah. Legitimately wore

this same. The way you talk about it, the way you talk about it, the way you, Tony talks about it, the way anybody that came up to the store. Bobby Lee was. Yeah. And then if you weren't, your friend was. Sure. And so, or you saw one go from nobody to a theater comic. And so you're like, well, these guys, yeah, they're comics.

Which guy might be one of the door guys that the store came up to me when we were hanging out at the festival. And he's like, I do a danger field. And he was like, hey, hey, and I was like, oh, it's not bad. And I tried doing it. I was like, all right, that was enough. And it was back. And then later I'm walking through and he stops me. He goes, I have so much anxiety that I did that.

for you and I was like, no, no, that's great. I would have done that too. It's fine. There, no, regular dog guy wouldn't have done the second part. Yeah, no, no, first. But a comic is like, oh, fuck, what did I do? But I loved, because I, because they are comics, but they're also new comics. And that's something, bro.

But that's something that I used to feel. I wasn't a door guy in New York. You're not a door guy. Do you just doing that shit? Yeah, you guys don't have to interact with the comics. That's the whole point. It's like, I would be at the, I'd be at the, I'd be at, like, New York Comedy Club or the seller, and I would say something, and you'd be like, what?

and then I wasn't there to go, I fucked up. So I just walk around the fucking village being like, I fucked up, I fucked up so much. There was no time like the beginning times. Ralphie told me that early on. She was like how long, yeah. I'm like about a year and he goes,

boo, that's when it's just fun. I didn't get it because I was starving. Sure. But like, that's a big, that's a big fucking issue. Yeah, I was like, today I'd eat legitimately leftover hamburgers from McDonald's that I froze because. Was that your, was that your,

20% cheeseburger at 30%? and a hamburger, vice versa, Sundays and Wednesday. So it was like you'd load up, freeze a bunch of those, then the rest of the week you could. I was a subway chicken terriaki on Italian herbs and cheeses, six inches at dinner the next day, six inches for lunch, split my bag of potato chips. And I'd get a large drink that I could drink half and have other.

It was all about halves. And then a staff meal at the restaurant. I got to get you a Yamika. Oh, dude. You've earned it. I thank you. I didn't realize. You've actually put in your,

your time. I really fucking, that means a lot. Yeah. And it does mean a lot. As someone that grew up watching Mel Brooks movies and had his alcoholic father using Yiddish, I'm a clumped. I'm a little,

I'm a little, a clumped. And honestly, proper usage. Yeah. What's funny is I didn't realize, because Colorado, I knew one Jewish, I knew two Jewish kids. Yeah. And then I moved to New York and I would say stuff and they'd be like, you're using Yiddish.

And you're like, oh, fuck. I didn't even realize I was a, I was a jigger. What are you call a white kid? White kid that wants to be. I was a what are you want to ask me about my trip? I know you were about to. Oh, you're just,

you're just the guy that I go like, what did you eat? Oh yeah. Because like, could you imagine Big Jay and I on a trip like yours being like, I don't want to eat that? I was in Ecuador and I heard for the first time, six months there,

for the first time I heard an American accent. And what's that like? Okay. First it was like, oh, you were gone for what, seven months? Six months that one.

Yeah, just in Ecuador, car driving around, band it. And then I heard an accent. but then I was like, wait, that's not an American accent. That is rural Philadelphia accent. Oh, yeah, you heard that?

The first accent I heard, and they were at the, you can get one of those gazebo things at the beach for five bucks for the day. Great. Rent a surfboard for $3 or five or six for two hours. It was like, oh, my God, it was the best. And then eventually I'm like, hey, what do you guys? Yay. And they were like, once we started talking, they're like,

oh, there's a chicken piccotta over there. It's so good. That's so fun. And I was like, I'm not eating the chicken peccat. Picata in Ecuador. There's actually good food here. They go, yeah, we actually talked them into doing it. Two of them ran a DQ and Wildwood.

Yeah, you ever, yeah, you ever had a guinea pig? Those guys ruled so much. You ever had a guinea pig and a guinea pig and a guinea pig? Don't put that on it. Don't make a hoagie at a guinea pig. I met one of them again once at a show recently that came. I was like, they were like, there's some people saying they met you in Ecuador. I'm like, oh, bring those guys in.

That's awesome. Yeah. That's fun. That's funny shit to see you and you're like Tarzan back in society. Two weeks. When you meet someone from traveling afterwards, it just becomes like the people from lost when they met in real life after.

And like, we got to go back. Yeah. We got to get back to the island. It's like summer camp friends. When you had summer camp friends when you were young and then you'd see them back home in reality, you go, well, I got my regular friends. There is shit that you and Jay would eat and list and stuff like that. But I would tell you, like, you can try this one.

Or this one's too spicy. Don't. This one is whatever. Because I'll try everything. That's the cooking show. You try food. The food is amazing. Peru has the best food in South.

America. That's the cooking show. Trip to South America with me, List, and Jay. Yeah. And you are our Bobby Flea. And it's like, all right, tell me what you can and can't do. Yeah. And they, because and if it's like, I really do not want to risk stomach flu. And I'm like, I'm going to cross half these off the list then. And if you're like, I don't like spicy, I'm like, great, we'll stay in Uruguay. What happened, two questions? What happens when it goes sideways? Like, what happens when it's too spicy? Did you eat something where you're like? I'm not. My dad was, my dad raised me on spice. Oh, he did. Yeah. I'm the guy who goes to tie and they're like, high spicy. I don't know. I'm like, I know, I know, just get it.

Really? So you've been a spicy guy your whole life. I would have to get my Asian roommate at Maryland to ask for extra spicy on the phone because they wouldn't believe my accent. So I'm like, you need to ask for it extra spicy. Do you find that it's so hot, it's enjoyable? Yeah. That you're that kind of guy. My mom's boyfriend was like that. What was that? He was like, I want it, like the, whatever, what the scale is? Where pleasure meets pain. Yes. What is that? Hellraiser? Yeah. Yeah. But like the scale of the, Scovilles. Scovils or whatever.

Roy Scovles. They improv how hot it is. And you enjoy it the whole time. How it is? But he was like, there used to be this like hot sauce store in Boulder. And we would like go up to Boulder. My mom's boyfriend would be like proud of being like,

what's the hottest one you got? And it'd be like a Carolina Reaper pepper. And he'd go, yeah, that's spicy. But he wouldn't freak out. I won't do that with the Reaper. Bitch with spice, dude. My dad'll do that.

He made this own, you know, like not the Surrach, but the other brand. where it's got all the seeds in it and stuff, like red and thick. So he'd made that in his own. And he'd have to ferment it and let it go. And it was meat, for me, even then, it would take, let's say, salami sandwich on rye,

and I would take, like, a little bit spread it very thin all over, like one spoonful all the way. And I'd still be like, oh, I'd put ketchup on top of it. Like, oh, my God. My dad to test it would take a spoon, go, and go, oh, yeah, that's good. Whoa. But it's like, no, it's spicy.

Did your siblings have a similar love? Was there any sibling that didn't like spice? My brother's kid loves it. Real, but your brother didn't. My brother likes it okay. But your brother's kids like you. He's like an animal. He's like, I want fucking.

And I'm not trying to punish myself. I like the taste. I guess my question is, is someone that is a bitch about it. Like I have Chalua. I have like, I'll put saracha on stuff. And I find it enjoyable, but that's me older. When I was younger, I hated spice.

I was like, this is too spicy. I need mild. I was a bitch. And as I got older, I was like, I feel the same about chlamydia. I don't want to love it. I know you go. Just got to get used to it.

And he goes, oh, it really makes your dickhole pump. It really gives you the dickhole heat you're looking for. But like with the spice thing, has there ever been something that's too much for you when you travel? Thai spicy in Thailand. But down there and did you have to request it? Did you have to go like pick the fight and be like, give me your spicy as shit? Or they're like, they just gave it to you. And you're like, oh, they just gave it to you.

They'll warn you once in a while if you're in a semi-tourist area. and they see you being white, like, oh, we've gotten complaints before from your type. That's so great. Glad you just said that. I'm still fine. Go for it. The white thing is, is, do you just know, like, if they know white, they go, they're going to fucking complain about the spice.

Whereas I know if you're, they don't know to warn them. Yeah, because they just go, this is where you get. It's like the amount of ranch you get in Nebraska where you just go, like, I bet they see like other people and they go, like Europeans, they go, you don't want this much ranch. Or the fat stuff in Chicago. I was eating a salad. Me and Rogran is salad somewhere in Chicago. ago and we're like so I'm like hold on and we're like excuse me ma'am did you did you put sugar on

this and she goes is it too much for you I'm like it was such a like yeah of course was crazy did I did I go ham crazy did I go too much when I none when I salad when I quit sugar and drinks yeah when I like had to make that effort to get it out of my coffee and get it out of my iced tea once I had southern sweet tea again I was like what the fuck that's like Thai spice yeah but for sugar. You're like, dude, this is fucking crazy. This is just sugar. And they're like, sweet tea. And you're like, I don't like this. I'm getting

diabetes right now. Yeah. But it does rule if you can like it. Like, I can like really sweet. Very hot. I'm still a bitch. You know what people don't talk about in the summer? Because it's all hot. It's bedding. It's only a winter talk. Everyone's like, oh, I got good betting in the winter.

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Again, Brooklynbetting.com promo code Sodor. I know those of you who have been listening for a while, even back when I was on the bonfire, you know I got Lasic, so you know I got these laser eyes, but they wear off. And honestly, when I come back to my glasses days, I'm going right back to Warby Parker. It's who I used when I had glasses,

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something in a shower like a bounce off a shoulder you always think you know what it is and then it could be anything yeah dude could be it's literally a drop of water so you can wash stuff in the sink you just have to dry it completely off before you have it. So if a plate comes wet, you've got to like, no, and just like, I'd rather be, Bobby Kelly said it's the best. It's safer. It's more dangerous there to brush your teeth with the sink water

than it is here to brush your teeth with toilet water. Really? As long as it's flushed. That's fucking water. It's just gross. You don't even think about that and you go like, I'm still in the mode of like, ah, sink water brush teeth. We got a great here. One, one, one. We're like, shoveling it in.

But like, when you have, when you're like going in knowing you have food. I saw Fast and Furious 5 when I was there in Rio. Yeah. And there's a scene where she's like in the favela and they're hiding away. And she goes like this with water and she'd drink some. I'm like, nope. Rest of the movie is her shitting.

Rest of the movie is her shitting now. He goes, hey, I heard you drink that water. And she's on the other side of a door and she's like, Dom, you got to get out of you. They're going to get me. But do you have like, um, no, there's a tri-pack. That's what I'm taking immediately. I know my technique is good. That's what I mean like.

Don't wait. Don't wait. Because you can't hold it down, you're fucked. You know when they show assassins assemble a rifle in ways? I just assume you do that with diarrhea when you're traveling, where it's like, and you put something together and you're like, take this. Now go over there. There's a small difference in feeling between food poisoning and just diarrhea.

Do you know what it is? So you have to make the decision right away, which one is this? Because it's going to get worse. But right now it's about the same. It's like this and then you know it's going to go there. Because if it's going to be the diarrhea shitting and pooping, you're not going to be able to keep the pill down. No.

You got to keep it down for two hours. And if you have a sip of water will make you barf, then you can't get the pill down. So what's your advice? Pre-do it. If you think it might be or probably is, get that pill down now, start it working.

It's one a day for three days. You're still going to suffer, but start the process. What pill? Amodia M-A-D? Is that such white guy stuff? No, that ain't going to do shit, bro. That's like me going to like,

I like Tabasco, where we were talking about spice. Emodium today is a puck in Iraq and an IDF troop. And thinking it'll make a difference. Ammodym A. D. It's like, really?

Because I always, when I went to Mexico, when I was in Arizona. In six minutes. When I went to Mexico and Arizona, I went to Mexico, I'd take Amodium AD and I was fine. But that's for basic diarrhea.

Sure. Not food poison. Okay. So, diarrhea, it works. Diarrhea, sure, it works. And I want the people home to know that. Amodium AD does work for diarrhea.

In Southeast Asia, I never didn't have diarrhea. Four and a half straight months. Not a solid. constantly, when you got home and you poop solid, did it scare you? Where you're like, my organs are leaving me. Oh, right. Right.

Poop solid. Of course. Because I do feel like if you normalized diarrhea. Normalized diarrhea, that's a, that's a T-shirt. That's the name of the episode. Normalized diarrhea. Why aren't Americans normalizing diarrhea? I did bring a nice souvenir home from Carnival in Brazil.

I got some late nights treat me the last day, which is like, they're closing. I'm like, damn, that means this has been out. I had won it my last street meet. And I didn't shit a log for about three weeks after I got home. Oh, way. Is it worth it? Yeah. Because sometimes I'll do street meet and I'll go like, I'll really want it.

Yeah. And then I'll hurt afterwards and I'll go. It was worth it. It's worth it. Yeah. Because you're like, I took a tumble. It's a good life thing. Yeah, it's because I used.

That was the stand he used to get off when I worked at K Rock. I'd get done at two in the morning and I'd go on 6th Avenue. And there was one place. And sometimes it would be, sometimes it would fuck me. me up, but I always knew. I was like, hey, we're going to go into this. Sunday might suck. Yeah. But this is going to be a great meal at 2.45 in the morning at my point. It has to be worth it. You don't want it to be the delivery of McDonald's that made you leave before the encore of LCD sound system. First off, I fucked up. This is a good place to us for us to remedy this situation. I need to apologize. I'm legitimately angry about it.

I'm not mad mad, but when I think of it, it doesn't go, oh yeah, good times. It goes, no, that sucked. Can I tell you where I fucked up? Okay. And why me, leaving wasn't the problem. Okay. Ari and I love LCD sound system. We've had great times at them. Great times at him. Bonner of the first.

Brooklyn Steel the second. And then we're going back to Brooklyn Steel to see him again with good seats. I fucked up. And we're in our 40s and 50s. We need earplugs. We just do. If you're young, I will tell you the best advice for concerts.

Get comfortable with ear plugs. It makes your day the next day much better. At minimum, take a piece of, if you don't have them, a piece of napkin and shove a match. Just do it. Because you're going to get to age, even if you're in your 20s now and you're like, drugs hit the same regardless. Yeah, the drugs hit the same. You're all fine.

And then the next day when you wake up, you don't have tinnitus. You don't have that. You're just like, oh, it was a great concert. So I had. Try, try to take it out on post motherfucker. Yeah, good luck editing. At the time, I had earplugs that were the ones you want. The ones you want are the orange ones made for concerts.

Do you already keep that thing on you? Howard Light. There you go. The light. And by the way, little tip, little, little, little small Frisbee cap. Take the lens off before you jam it in your own. On your, take the lens up before you jam it. If on the way into the airplane, if you are stopped in that line with like everyone's

rushing again, then you stop and slowly, right, that little room right before you enter the airplane that's there. Sure. That's like the, the, like, the, something. Sometimes they have a bag of them. And there's no one there to protect you. Delta does all the time. Handful earplug.

And those are really good for concerts. Really good. You can still hear everything. So I fucked up and I bought these like ones off Amazon that were for swimmers. So they block water out of your ear. They also block a good time. A good time. And Katie, Ari and I all had these in and I kept being like taking it out and being like,

I can't fucking hear taking it out. And then we were there for the whole concert. And I was like, oh, fuck. And at the end, I took him out. And I was like, I fucked up. I fucked up. It doesn't, the sound on sound system, LZ's, is, it overwhelms you. The slow rises, the four and a half minute long drops.

Yes. Instead of 20 second drops. So you get so into it, but it's got to envelop you. Yeah. And we didn't let it envelopes us. And we were hungry and we were like, let's get the fuck out of here. And we, we left to get food. I was like, okay.

Yeah. And it was one of those things where I was like, we're going to leave. But we, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, in the night with the earplugs. Yeah. So I got to buy, I'm gonna have to buy. We had good area. We got to a place right before some stanchions before the VIPs.

We were right behind the VIP, but we had room so we could do. It's a lot of jumping. Yes. We had something to hold on to. And I fucked up with the earplugs. And I've done it before I jump, and it's tough to go this way. You end up going like, yeah. My jumping is not.

So then I have to put my hand on somebody a lot of times, a stranger. And I'm on a lot of Molly. I'm gone and I don't want to step on them. And so people look back. I'm like, sorry. And they go, oh, it's cool. Yeah. You're viving.

You're vibing. I fucked up. I think the only way to redo this is I need to get us tickets to LCD sound system next time they're in town. The worst part was they have a song with a chorus that just, and it makes you think of or all the great ones are. I think of like Ralphie a lot or whatever. But when they start repeating, where are your friends tonight? Where are your friends tonight? And I'm like, mine are at home with pooping out McDonald's.

They left. They left to go eat McDonald's. where yeah dude I really fucked up where are your friends tonight I was like I know right I know right and I didn't you know what and I'm taking accountability I absolutely fucked up

thank you and I'm sorry for that and I will bring I will bring the proper earplugs the next time that we do drugs and go see LCD sound system because I'll tell you right now one of my greatest privileges in life is doing drugs and going to concerts with Arshafier

it rules so much it has it rules so much have we've been talked down to by some alcoholic people. I'm like, our drug is so much better than your drug. Fuck off. You know, it's a memory that I have at,

uh, at, uh, at the terminal five. Yeah. We went and saw St. Paul and the broken bones. God,

they got climbed all this shit. The guy climbed the shit. Gave a hell of a performance. Ari Gregg Stone and I, that's who it was. We ate edibles and we sat there and watched and we, and we're all tall. The three of us are tall.

And then these little tiny women behind us. That's so great. went, hey, we can't see. We can't see in front of you. And we can't not stand. We're standing. Yeah, we have no choice. Should we move?

We opened the wall and we go, go ahead. And it was two daughters and their mom and their dad. And the two daughters and the mom went ahead of us. And the dad was standing there. And the daughters said, we bought him tickets. He loves St. Paul in the Broken Bones. We bought the tickets for Father's Day. And so, you know, the human gate is open of Ari, Greg and I.

Go right now. We'll go ahead and we'll pull back. To the dad, we go, go ahead, dude. Go ahead. And he goes, I'm okay. And we go, no, no, no, we really don't mind. And I remember specifically what I said is I go, no, dude, be with your family. And he looks right at me and he goes, I'm good.

And then we shut the human gate. So the mom and the daughters were in front of us. Dad was behind us. I've never seen a guy have a better time at a concert. He just wanted to be alone. He got separated from his family and he had two drinks and he was behind us. And remember, there's a song called. called Burning Rome

and his family was in front of us and one of the daughters was on her phone and the mom's like kind of like doing it and he's behind us with two beers and he goes they played burning Rome

yeah they played burning Rome he was like screaming it and I was laughing about the boy they're like we got you something for your father like what is it goes

four tickets to St. Paul the Brubon's like yeah and he's like okay who do I bet so we're all gonna Craig yeah he's like Craig

he's like Craig Market oh yeah dude that was absolutely the energy where he was like Yeah. I'll have a better time alone in a concert than with a bad group. With the wrong group.

Yes. I've walked away at Queens of the Stone Age. She was like, my friends were all lame. I'm going to go see this band at the sphere by myself and I'm going to have a blast. I was like, yeah, do it. Yeah, I was in Arizona.

I went and saw Queens of the Stone Age and I was with a group of like five people. Two of them knew the band. Three of them weren't into it. And I just went like, I was still drinking. But I was like, I'm going to go get a beer. And I got a beer. And then I just went to the peasant. hit and I was like, this is what's up.

I'm here. I'm here. Everyone is enjoying it. I had a better time. I regretts, but I had a better time at Kendrick Lamar laying in the grass on my back, far, far away from my barely hearing, then I did with all those people around.

Yeah. Too many people. That's how, that's sometimes you got to, part of growing up is admitting what experience you want. It's a good seat, but I kind of want to be up there with there's less people. I can jump. Yeah.

Like, when I was in Amsterdam on fucking truffles losing my shit at Pearl Jam, I went and stood against the back wall and enjoyed myself. And I was like, this is what's up. I just watched the show. Everyone was like in front of me. I didn't feel like anyone was behind me.

Like I was fun with anybody. I just sat there and watched. I saw LCD at the tennis court, whatever it's called. Oh, yeah. Forrest Hills. Yeah. And I got good seats. And then I was like trying it.

But it was like kind of bad. I was getting a little recognized, which I do not like on drugs. I don't like that. I don't like being watched. Yeah, when I'm on stuff. So I was like, and then I looked, they didn't really sell out the corners. And I'm like, I've seen it before. The light show there is cool, but like, I think I can jump around.

So you go to like way, way cheaper tickets that in the moment are much better. And then you can jump and run up and down the stairs and like have a good time. You have some space. That's what it's about. It's about having fucking fun at concerts. Because people lose that real quick and they go, I'm with my group. You're kind of guessing what the vibe you'll want. Yeah.

And it's what the drugs are going to tell you to do. Also, sometimes there's fans of the people can like a band too much. I went and saw, you guys are. I went and saw Queens of the Stone Age at Barclays, and I brought my buddy who doesn't know them, who loved it. He went and he was like, what a great live rock show. And we're sitting there waiting for the train. We're waiting for the subway to go back to Queens.

And he's telling me how good of a time he had. This girl overhears us. She's head to tell when Queens of the Stone Age shit. And she goes, you don't know Queens of the Stone Age? She goes, no, I don't know to listen to him. She's like, how could you not listen to him? Doing it. And I went, hey.

He just got in. He's in. He's in. Stop. You're fucking going to push him out. It's just his first day. Relax. You got a first day.

That's what I mean, where she was like doing that where you go, lady, chill the fuck out. Me and Matt Egger went to see, I was trying forever to go see Billy Strings. Yeah. Billy Strings rules. Got into him. Billy Strings rules. Got into him. And then I was like trying to.

And then I had a drunken. I have been trying for a while to get a Billy Strings, Danny Brown. collaboration. Sick. Only man in America that can make that work. I keep pushing it. And there was some episode

of Rogans, me, Shane and Norman were on there. And I'm bombed and I'm drinking beer out of a turned over like top of a Christmas tree ornament and fuck it.

And then I was like pushing it and Rogan's like who's Billy's tree? I got fun mad. I was like, Bush these fucking rules! Yeah. Yeah, I do that with Sturgle,

man. I'll get mad and with people don't know Sturgel Simpson where I'll be like, well, he doesn't go by Sturzel Simpson right now. He goes by Johnny Blue Sky. He's Johnny Blue Skies and you need to fucking look him up. I think that's the part of fandom that I think we've taken too far with like streaming

and social media and shit is you could be too big of a fan that it turns off other people. So I know I wasn't the biggest fan. I just like what I like. Exactly. And so I'm trying to find a time to see him and then he's going to be an awesome when I'm there. And I'm like, oh, sick. I'm like, oh, no, I have shows at night. Sure.

And I guess somebody showed him that they made a clip of that and he followed. I was like, no way. And I was like, hey, dude, your shit is so good. You should try to find Danny Brown. I think you guys would do a great. And he goes, oh, check him out. I'm like, yeah, I've been trying to find a time. Goes anytime, man, which I'm like, any time means,

what does any time mean? It means a specific time. But it means, do I get free tickets? Yeah, that is great. Or do I hit you up again? Yeah, you go, because I can hit you up again. No. So I tried it.

So he played Fort Worth, which is the best city in Texas. the day before I was in Austin doing my shows. So I was like, hey, can I come? He goes, got your tickets. Great. Great. So then we got our seats, but we think we had all excess passes. We're on mushrooms.

Oh, boy. Me and Matt Edgar. You know that? Yeah. Yeah. And then we're like to the lady. We're like, hey, can we go in there? And she goes, well, you got these great seats.

I'm like, I know, but like, these guys suck. Yeah, I want a jam. Can we go in there? Similar to what we were talking about the roast. She goes, let me ask. And she goes, yeah, it's all access. I'm like, fuck, yeah. And we go in there.

There's some guy who's so fucked up who was like, found out it's our first time. And he goes, oh, bro. And he was so cute. He was like coaching us through it. So he goes, okay. So when he played this into this, that was really big. Because he doesn't do that. I was like, okay.

And then later. That's what I do at Queens of the Stoianxas with Katie. I go, you have to understand. They haven't played Mexico alive that I've seen in like five years. He's not going to dust in a bag. He don't expect him to, but that's good. And he goes, and he's like, hey, this was about DMT, you should get it. I was like, okay, cool.

And then I found all these wooks that were dancing. Here's a whole work section. Great. And it was like so fun. And so we're like, let's not get too fucked up because there is a non-zero chance that we get invited back afterwards to say hi. I do with Danny all the time.

I brought Simons in there. It's his favorite musician. That's great. Didn't know that. I knew he liked him. And he goes back and like, hey, Danny, I've gotten to be friends with him. Sure.

It helps that I'm not a rap fan so I could be cool. Yeah. But, and I'm like, here's my friend, Daniel. I love that. And I'm like, oh, anyway, he likes you. Yeah. But, but, um, and so I'm like, there's a non-zero chance that we're going to meet him. So we shouldn't get too fucked up.

So this is a moment. We're tripping enough and we're like wild and he's sober, but it's like, oh, just like LCD. They play a song for everybody. Sure. For the drunks, for the molly heads, for the mushroom people, for the weed heads, for the sobers. There's something for each of them. Yeah. And Billy does it too.

There's something for the date night people that are just drinking some wine. Jam with their lady. There's definitely some shit for mushrooms. I mean, he was a method. I said, there might be a song or true for meth. I couldn't relate. But everyone will like it all, but you'll like it on another level.

Yeah. So I saw LCD the time we went when Vita was held up by the crowd. That was crazy. I saw him the next day just on just on just some weed. And I'm like, oh, they're playing songs for this. There's an experience for just the potheads. And yesterday for the, for the Maliatics. That's understanding your crowd.

There was also that. Michelle's like they spoke through that. The disco ball. The disco ball. They're talking through it. We were. They are me. He is us.

We took a, I mean, we took a heavy dose when we saw LCD sound system. We did mushrooms and Molly. Yeah. It was a night. State up till the next afternoon. I did a bonfire. I did a YKWD and a bonfire. You can find it.

I pissed nine times during the bonfire episode. Wow. Because I was up for two days. So there's, Jay was like, you're going to pee again. And I was like, yes, yes. Again, another Yamika for you. Yes.

So this is a moment we're like tripping out or whatever. And then we both had the same realization. looked at each other and he would not mind if we're too fucked up. That's like, no, he would not. He would love it. If we got back there like this, he'd be like, yeah, dude. Come sit down. Yeah.

That is fun. Yeah. That is very fun going like, he'd be proud of us. Yeah. And all the people tell us about it, it's such a family thing. Yeah. I think he's even way bigger now, but. Yeah, music is, music is still got that.

And I think comedy has that to a certain extent of like, there is a fun part of that old record store culture of like, I don't know this. I'm going in. someone goes, hey, you should like this, they're into this, they do this. Dead had a great thing doing that. Steen, cheese incident, all of them have that. Like, fish. If you're watching a whole night at the commerce store in the old days, and you had a guy

there telling you, like, so this guy used to be on, he was a, like, a, like, a senator. Now he's a comic again. Like, oh, really? Or like, hey, this guy's like, Holtzman. He's like, he's going to go hard. I understand he's joking. It's my favorite thing to do when people visit New York and they're like one of my close friends.

And they come with me to the. I'll be like, you got to watch this guy because this guy does this and he does this. Sometimes he's like, oh, he'll crush once every eight times. He'll bomb six and do okay once. And I'll leave him in the showroom and then like come back in and check in with him. And they'd be like, I like that second guy. And you go, that guy's the best. You have the best taste.

You know what I mean? You're like, yeah, it's great. Being a fan rules, just don't be too much of a fake. Let people find it. Let people find it. Great way. Arish fear. You're a true mensch.

Buddy, I love you. I missed you a lot. I thought about you when I was traveling a lot. Yeah, man. I was mad when I'd open my WhatsApp and miss our time to connect. Oh, yeah. Because you'd send one every five months, but you're back. Yeah. Check out the end.

It is. Oh, we got to say it. Oh, we didn't say it at all. I made a TV show. He made a TV show called the end. What does it remind you of? I can't say it, but you can't. It reminds me of this is not happening.

Okay, great. It's legally he made that connection. I made that connection. Ari did not. But it, you know, it's everybody that loves Ari came out and told a story. Yours was so funny. Well, I got into mine.

You did get into yours. I said, I didn't have a story. I didn't have anything worked out. Shane was doing it. Shane was like, come on, dude. I don't have a story. And I go, you have so many stories. Shane's always the, I didn't prepare for this guy.

And then he kills. And then we showed up. What's funny is, and people don't know this, is when we filmed it, we're on a different episode. But we were filming me and Shane after Miss Pat, who was murdering about Bob Saggett coming over to her house. talking about eating. Shane and I

remembered that gay people gave each other monkey pox. So Shane and I were backstage going, we were doing the phone call to go, hey, Stephen, you get me monkey pox. And it was making us laugh like middle school, we're going to get in trouble in class hard

to the point that people on your production staff are coming over and going, hey, you guys need to shut the fuck up. We can hear you laughing. And then Shane is like, I used, we were both dying. And then we were like, all right, let's go up. But then it came out great.

Well, this is why you don't, thank you. This is why you don't want a network saying, hey, what are you going to say? I need to see everything. Sure. You go, you want a comic going, guys, if you think of something in the moment, go for it.

If it doesn't go, I'll drop it. But that was such a funny through line. It was so funny. And you guys pretty much told us two separate stories together, rift off each other. And it was like, I knew. It's some people's favorite. Oh, that's great.

Well, but we had, we had like a lot of fun being like, oh, yeah. And I got to, you know, he was like good at football and I sucked. So it's always fun to be like, this is how bad I sucked at football. And he's like, that's crazy. I sucked slightly after you. And it was, it was fucking great. But you guys are on, everyone's a one hour episode.

You guys are on rumination is when I used to suck. Yeah. So one of six. They're not in any order. They're not, but check it out. It is great. You got fucking Nate. You got List.

You got Bobby. You got Big Jay. You got, I mean, Big Jay tells the arm again. getting story which i love that's my right favorite when i was like when i was like dust that i love that i love that i love that i love that i love that can you see it can you see it yeah lists can you picture list is so good and bobby's was phenomenal miss pats was great i was patz was great i watched like a bunch of people record you shot it beautifully at the box thank you shout out to eric abrams he was a part of it right he's the best director in comedy he just i mean sorry i was

But I was hanging out with him and I was telling him, like, it was just fucking great. Go check out the end. If you want to just get that episode, it's six bucks. If you get all of them, they're each an hour. Then it ends up being about four bucks each per hour. And then also, I don't know if you know this. There's a prologue we made.

It's bridge the gap. It's free. Not free for me, but free to get. It bridges the gap from that old show. What did you call it? This is not happening? To the new show, the end. And what happened and why it's a new name and just why I'm bringing it back.

and I tried to have a thing of like, the show wasn't just what you saw film. The show was all these live moments. Yeah. For me, anyway, my memories of the show were equal. Miss Pat telling me that thing about Bob Sag. It was like that,

I guess we filmed it, but it's actually a live show. And so I had this thing of like all the, my favorite moments that I remember. And just a little homage. And you're in there on one of them. Yeah. Which is,

which is we had a mushroom episode in Montreal. Yeah. On Shroom. Fest. Yeah. And we're all supposed to take mushrooms and everyone

pushed out. At JFL. Except the two of us. Everyone bailed. He was the midnight show and he went, here's what's going to happen. We're going to eat mushrooms

and they're going to do the show. And I was like, fuck yes. I was like, fuck yes. And then I ate the mushrooms before while the show previously was going on.

And I went outside and I smoked a couple joints and I'm kicking it and I'm like ready and I'm starting to feel it. And then Ari comes up to me, wild-eyed, full of mushrooms and he goes,

we're the only ones that did mushrooms. where do you want to go in the lineup? And I went, why isn't anyone else doing mushrooms? And you went, they bailed. And I went, can I go first? You should not have said that, but I was on mushrooms too much to know to not say that. And you went, you could go first.

And I went first and it was going great until the light on the stair kicked in and then I fucking bombed. Yeah, you were like having a blast and you were like, yeah, and it spooked me. What was here? We were looking at the light doing what? It went on and I went, did that light go on?

And the guy went, no. And then the light went on again and turned off and I went, that light didn't go on. and turn off and he went, no. And then I was like, why is everybody fucking with me? That's why. And I was like, oh, no, where am I out of my story? Spiral.

And I was fucking having so much fun until that moment. So there's an homage in there to just one light bulb. Oh, yeah, great. They're not like so in your face, the homages. There's a light bulb and that is you from that story. Freaked them fuck out. Yeah. But check out the end.

YMH studios.com. You can download it. Orishafere.com. It's easier to remember. Go to Rishfere. dot com. The link is right there. Traffic.

But guys, this is the way we're kind of going around the system. Yeah. With this self-release, I know people are used to getting standing for free

and I don't blame me for getting a little mad about it. But it's about four bucks per hour. It's like four movies long. Yeah, shit's changing. It's all touring and doing it yourself. It's going to be rental until a year after we stop selling it.

And then I'm going to figure out a way to get everybody download cards so that they can have it forever. I just don't have that yet. But I'll look up. You and I are like, We're way closer to the ticket buyers than the ticket sellers. Yes.

You know, in the live version of those stuff. So we're like, we understand your plight. So thank you. It's great. And I'm so glad you did it. It was very fun. It was very fun. I was like, I don't have anything.

And then after I did it, Shane was like, that was so fun. If you want to test just their episode and get not the rest, but you get a disc, you get two free if you get five. So do that. But if you want to test, it starts with Tolamash. Great. Then Sam Talent. Great.

Who's a lot of people's favorite story. He's my favorite. Bobby Kelly. Great. Who's a lot of people's favorite story. And then you two. Yeah. It's just a very fun watch.

The end. Arishfeer.com. Yeah. Tell you fucking plug it. Yeah. Thanks. I love you, man. I love both you guys.

We love you too. We're big fans. We're glad you're back in the country with your fucking bag of mulch.