Soder - 142: Talking to the Tombstone with Louis C.K. | Soder Podcast | EP 139

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Support the sponsors to support the show!Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/soder #squarepod https://squareup.com/us/en/campaign/audio Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com/SODER to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That’s Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash SODER. Zocdoc.com/SODER Thanks Zocdoc for sponsoring this messagehttps://www.zocdoc.com/?utm_medium=audiopodcast&utm_campaign=soderIf you’ve got summer travel coming up, now’s the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babbel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to Babbel.com/SODER That’s Babbel, B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash SODER for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply.https://www.babbel.com/pages/en-us/eg_podcast_flags_ame_usa-en?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=offline&utm_content=podcast&mt_agency=oxfordroad&mt_region=usa&utm_campaign=Soder&ad_type=hostread&mt_template=89624c3c3c274a77ba63128d19e25b6aSoder is building a new hour on the road!Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tourJuly 9-11 Batavia,ILJuly 16-18 Stamford,CTJuly 25 - Montreal, Canada JFLJuly 31 - August 1 - Albany,NYAugust 13-15 Baltimore,MDAugust 20-22 Spokane,WASeptember 10-12 Portland,MESeptember 17-19 Hartford,CTOctober 2-3 Alburquerque,NMOctober 4-7 Fort Collins,COOctober 19-21 Winnipeg, CanadaOctober 22-24 Calgary,CanadaNovember 5-7 Salt Lake City,UTDecember 10-12 Rochester,NYFollow Louis C.K. and go watch his new Netflix Special "Ridiculous"https://www.instagram.com/louisckx/?hl=enhttps://louisck.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopYuxOvx2D7phbYfBoppup2bI1kSsgFAEPVnv3WAmvUZA7WPUzshttps://www.youtube.com/louisckPLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572Connect with SoderTwitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoderInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoderTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoderYoutube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy#dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcastProduced by  Mike Lavin     https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Hey, everybody. I am back on the road. July 16th through 18th, Stanford, Connecticut at New York Comedy Club. July 25th, added a late show, Club Soda at Montreal for Just for Laughs. And then July 31st and August 1st, four shows at the Albany Funny Bone, all those tickets available at Dan Soder.com. I'll see you there. Let's build this hour. But it was cool seeing you film another special at The Beacon. You were there, right? No, I didn't get to go. I was on the road. Oh, yeah, okay.

But I talked to you right before you did it. And I thought it was really cool you were doing it because obviously this special ridiculous out now on Netflix, go watch it. But you did hilarious there. I did, no. I don't mean to point at you. Yeah, I like that.

But didn't you do hilarious at the beacon? No. I did live at the beacon. Live at the beacon. Yeah, that was my first. Spooku. This is podcast of Puckoo. Yeah.

He's going to, I'm going to fucking live at the beacon, cut that shit. Actually, leave it in, warts and all. You're right. I did do live at the beacon there. Live at the Beacon was great. You walked up. That was like one of my favorite intros

where you like walked through the front entrance. Yeah, it went through the front door. And it was funny watching people be like, because that this is, that's how much phones have progressively gotten worse. Yeah. And when you watch the intro of Live at the Beacon, people just let you walk in and a couple of people go,

oh, hey, Louis. Yeah. Where now they'd be like, Salve. Yeah, definitely. You got to like walk into a venue. Yeah, it was really, I shot the first one there because George Carlin had done one there and it was one of his best I thought.

Have you done that? He did it. I mean, I stole the open from him and prior. They both did that. Yeah, just to come out on stage. Come out. Prior went out with the lights are still up.

That's my favorite intro. And people are running to their seats. And then the guy comes up with a camera and he goes, get the fuck out of. He's there. And he goes, now take the picture. Yeah, yeah. And the shit breaks.

Yeah. That's he does the white people are in your, black people are in your seat. In your seats. Crazy. So, but yeah, so he did that one. And then Carlin did one where he walks off the street. I stole it. I love it.

He walks off the street from Broadway into, uh, he put a little thing, he put a guy playing saxophone outside. So when you, but he went out and he just immediately said, and people are going crazy, but he's like telling them, he's just going to, he just wants to get into the first joke. He goes, have you ever noticed that a lot of the women at anti-abortion rallies are women, you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place? Yeah. First words out of his mouth.

Just brush back pitch. Yeah. Just absolutely opening up. Don't dig in. It's punching right in the stomach. So good. It didn't do a lot of fanfare of coming out and being like, wheezy. No, he just went, got right to the joke.

And so I took that from him. This special actually opens similarly just that I get. I say hello tiny bit, but then I tell a joke right away. You also come in, what I liked what you did audio-wise is it's the music is all you hear until you say hello. Yeah, yeah, that's right. It drops out right before, then you go, hello. And I like that because there's something,

I don't know if it's because I'm a comic when I watch specials and the crowd is too like, and the guy's like, thank you, thank you. You're like, just fucking get to it. Now, you don't want to watch somebody being adored by people that are in the room. Because then you're, what the fuck do you? That's rock stars.

Yeah. That's what they get to do. Yes. They were open. We're not rock stars. No, we're fucking clowns. The comedy rock star thing, it's not good for the jokes.

No, you're supposed to lose. Yes. You have to lose at every turn. He's supposed to come out and go, I'm a fucking idiot. There is a set on YouTube I saw of Woody Allen on a TV show in Manchester, England. It's black and white and it's just a little TV studio and they don't know who he is. And he's hanging on to the microphone stand like the way you do when you're young at it. Yeah.

He's like hanging on to it and he's nervous and he's trying to get through to them. so when you see him start to win them over it's like that's fucking power you know that's great and always comedy always reminded me of the roller rink when you'd be scared and you're like grabbing the wall yeah yeah yeah yeah and then you see like you're like one of those old black dudes that's going around clapping yeah yeah yeah yeah like doing hopping up on the skates a little bit

kasing the sunshine band you're coming through with like light blue skates on and i'm like grabbing the side being like what the fuck is trying to know stuff all Just don't fall down in front of the girls. I still feel like that on stage a lot. I still at the cellar, especially when you start after her doing along, after the special's done and you're starting up again.

Yeah, I loved the, obviously, I've seen you do it a couple times, but I love the bit about your dad in a home because I had to put my grandma on one. Yeah. But my grandmas was medically induced, but yours is so, because she broke her hip. But you, the joke is so great because it's like,

there's this feeling of when you come to that part in your life where you just kind of don't want you don't want to be around them you don't want to be around it you don't want to it's it's an incredibly cruel and terrible thing to do because if you think about what a family is supposed to be you're supposed to be there you're supposed to be there you're supposed to just kind of hold them you're supposed to change your life if i was a good family it ruins marriages but it's supposed to like you know like my dad or my mom are they're moving in and and your wife is like no i don't I didn't that's not what I signed up for you're like well feel however you want about it's happening like that's the way life was it still isn't a lot of the world like I did though that bit I do that

whenever I did that bit I could see people relating it's the one bit they're not just laughing at you see them looking at each other they're talking about it fuck yes because I there's always one person there's always be like a mom-ish woman yeah with her hand over her mouth going oh god and her husband rubbing her back like I know I know right yeah but then I did it in like Saudi Arabia and they didn't know what I was talking about. They didn't understand it. You kill your father. They say something way more brutal when he cannot cut the sea.

You put him on the desert and they come and pick out his eyes. You let the hawk of time. Yes, the scorpion eat it. That's always like, you throw away. The brutality of other countries. Yeah. With an American because you go, but I want to be warm and soft. Yeah.

go, it is done. This is no. So you die. Yeah. But no, I mean, the opposite is true. They, they couldn't get their head around it. I asked a few people about it while I was there. I was like, do you put your older people in a home away from you in an institution?

And they're like, what? No, they live in your house till they die. Honestly. You take care especially then. That's when they need your care. That's when you pay them for everything they did. Some would argue that's the whole reason you have a family. that's the whole reason it used to be farmers needed people to work the crops yes and also take care of them when they

die yes the person who got you from infancy to adulthood you're not going to fucking let them have just a few years to just live and also have your kids have access to them and stories what they remember and let them feel loved but it was like asking people the same thing in india and although in india it's shit it's they told me some people some of us do it now because i got some money it's yeah i guess it's changing money and they go like so i pay this i mean everybody does it more than they admit to it but but it was like saying to somebody don't when your children turn 12 don't you uh take cut off their hands and eat their hands just because and they were like why would i do that i love my child and i'm like oh that's we do that all over in america we have hand soup yeah we have hands soup yeah we

We have hands to. Mine was, I was my grandmother's primary care. Yeah. Because my dad's whole family's dead. So I was like kind of helping her out. She was in her 90s. And then she got COVID. Your dad's whole family is dead.

Yeah. Everybody's wiped out. Pretty cool. Well, you're in your dad's family. Who do you think did all the wiping out? Nice. Broad sword. Face me, father.

That's the way. That's the one. That's what every man truly wants. is to kill his father in a sword fight. I would love to kill my father and his sword. You would be complete. I don't need a fight. I would just like him to just stand there.

Now? And I would just like, I, that Jamaican nurse from the joke, she goes, You need to hold your sword. Your boy can fight you unless you hold the sword. What are you doing?

Oh, that's the Jamaican nurse. Yeah, it's from your joke. Your son wants to kill you now with a sword. Do you hear me? It's time for your duel. Get up. I brought you your favorite. What you're doing.

Put on your sweater and pick up your sword. Don't forget you having mashed potatoes tonight if you win. And then you go out. It is amazing when you go see them. It sucks. And the Jamaican people that take care of them. And as you leave, you go like, and they're like, yeah, just go. So just go and leave him.

I'm talking about, I'm coming from the Bay, Bay Area. Ooh, so it was all Filipinos. Yeah. That's who, okay. That's everyone. Yeah. They're like, you know, I'm hitting them with a little Tagalog. on the way out, you know?

A little what? Tagalog. That's Filipino. That's what they speak. So you're like, I don't really know any. I used to work in Alaska and there would always be like, I'll teach you Tagalog. And I was like, the fact that I just know that word, yeah, that's enough for me. I'm good.

That's good. That's enough Tagalog. The only Tagalog I need to know is the name of the language. And then I'm good. The most American thing is you go. Yeah. And now I'm out. I'm fucking done.

But when I would leave, they would be like, yeah. because I would do like a ceremoniously like okay so I'm going to leave oh you're great your father your grandmother yeah yeah and they'd be like yeah bye yeah last time I saw my dad I felt bad because I didn't stay very long and as they but as I was leaving they were pushing him up to his little food yeah and he was like ooh and I was like he's fine he doesn't give a shit never needs to see me she my grandma stayed so I didn't realize this about my grandma until right before she died. Yeah.

And we found a bunch of old pictures of her. But she was an old hot girl. So it was interesting to watch her be like. Like what age was she hot? Like through her 40s. Like she was a good looking lady. But watching her still be a kind of a hot girl at 96 where I was like, you know, she's in the home for a while and we're like, what can we bring you?

And she's like a brush because I want my hair to look nice. And you're like, oh, damn. You're holding on. And then you go, grandma, that's not going to make your hair look nice. Yeah. I go, Nana, it is. You look like a skeleton. Yeah.

Yeah. It was, I think the hardest part was I felt like I had helped her for so long. Then she got COVID and she went to the hospital. And I talked to the doctor and I was like selfishly. Right. I can't go in. I go, this is where we send her to a home, right? Right.

I remember where I was. It was at Wise Guys at Salt Lake City. So you took care of her at home. Well, she was living. She would refuse to move. She was like, I live by myself. You can make her. Oh, yeah.

I must. her out. But I don't hardly need muscle. She was fine. She was living fine. She'd have to get driven places. Neighbors were driving to the grocery store, but she was fine. And then she got COVID into the doctor. I was like, so. Time. Yeah. And he went, no. What I found is, is patients over 91 that are still doing okay when they come out of the hospital, bring them back to their home. And then they know where everything is so they can operate alone. She got five more years. So I was like, Incredible. Like Michael Myers.

I was like, it's over. Yeah. It's over. And then she just sat back up and you're like, you mean the guy from SNL? No, not the fun Canadian. His career. No, that's coming back too. I'm talking about the homicidal maniac.

Not the, not the brilliant Austin Powers. No, yeah. She's like, don't I make you only. Like, well, my friends. But I think you're right about moving them in and your kids get to learn off them.

Yeah, by the way, I didn't do that. No. No. Oh, my God. No. This is no. That's, it's like your, my mom,

my mom, we kept her at home. She got cancer. So she didn't live, she was 79 when she died. And, um, so we took turns to having her at home.

Okay. Like you would switch her out. Yeah, different home. It was a little, it probably took a year off her life, moving her around a little. It's like an exhibit.

Yeah. It's like a moving exhibit like those basketball, the basketball players with, yeah. That's what we did. Yeah. We skinned her and glazed her. We have her doing different athletic poses,

and my daughters can come over. We had her slam dunk. Or it's different life lessons. It's her knitting. It's like grandma stuff. Oh, look, she's making her favorite soup. That's right.

And it's just the muscle. The muscle and all that. The muscle of her dipping a ladle. The teeth. I bet in China, if you did that joke, if you would have done that joke in China, they go, well, we just give it to the body exhibit. Sure.

You don't even, they can be in their 40s. I did do it in China. Well, in Hong Kong anyway. You did. She was there. But anyway, yeah, my mom. We sent her up. We were all with her.

But my dad, he's hanging on too long. He wants to live longer and nobody's hit the interest in him tapped out. Is that? He's living longer than people give his shit to be, want to be around him. And I believe the, the thing is never overstay or welcome. He's overstayed his welcome on this planet by a lot.

Has, is that reflective of his personality from when you were younger? Like you just see. where you go, I should have known you were going to live too long. Yeah. No, he's, he, and by the way, whatever, you know. Last time I went to see him is when this bit was born because I went to see him. The thing that really happened was I went to, I went in his room.

I hadn't seen him for about a year. And he looked at me like, hello. Oh, fuck. And I was like, hi. And he was like, yeah. And I said, I'm, Louis, your son. And he's like, not picking up on this. and he doesn't really have like a real big,

he has sort of come and go dementia. Sure. But that's not the main feature of him. Yeah. So I was like, Louis. And he didn't, he was sort of being polite like, hello. And so I said, I'm going to come in and sit with you for a while. And he was like, you are.

Like it was so, I felt creepy. Like, yeah, you're like hitting on your dad. It's like if I went into a total stranger's room. Hello. and said, hi, I'm going to come and sit with you. And he's like, yeah. Okay, I was just thinking about the Korean War. I don't need you bedside.

But I start, I start trying to explain to him who I am. I showed him a picture. My sister told me, you show him pictures. It brings it back, you know. So I showed him a picture of him and my mom. And I said, who, what is? He goes, that's my wedding day. That's my ex-wife, which they were divorced.

But I showed him the whole family. He goes, it's my family. You know what, right? And I go, who's that at the end? he goes, this is my son. And I go, that's me. And he's like, he was like, he selectively dementiaed me out of his memory. Like, I kept talking to him about our family, our history, but he just was skipping over me.

And I was like, I am here. I am. It was pissing me off. Yes. He seemed lucid. And he doesn't do that with your sisters? No, he's a little on and off, but not like that. But he locks in sometimes.

He locks in once in a while. while. And so I was just, I was getting really uncomfortable and pissed. Yeah. And so I said, I figured I'm not going to see him again. I said, I'm going to say some things to you, whether you know who I am or not, that I want to say. That's good for you. It was like talking to the, granite, to the tombstone, like the way you sit and talk to it. It was like that. And he's looking at me and I'm going, telling him things I feel about what happened when I was a kid. And I started to cry and he fell asleep. So I got up to leave.

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this makes me feel so much better he died when I was 14. Oh, no, it's horrible. Because I can't imagine all the things that I've worked through in therapy of, like, things I would have said to him, if I had this opportunity, and I went, and I just want to let you know, you gave up on Michelle you gave I would fight him

that you should challenge him the sword fight should happen so I got up to leave he's selling the fight I got up to leave and I had a snotty tissue and I dropped it on his floor and the room is so quiet

yeah definitely quiet and I bend over to pick it up and I feel gross and I look over and he's just watching me pick up the tissue and that moment was the most

humiliating moment of my like it's the worst i've ever felt you you cried and filled the tissue yes not and your dad was like it picked that shit up yeah so i wanted to tell that story on stage initially i was like this story there's something really big here i want to tell it and i would start to tell it but i would walk slow to it by describing the place he's at and the one thing that really did happen which was there was a lady urgently said saying to me, please help me, a lady in wheelchair. And I said to the guy, a guy that work there, this lady needs help. And he just went like that.

That happened on the way into his room. So I started with that story. And I kept explaining the place and explaining the context of the place to say what happened with my dad. Yeah. But I couldn't tell the story. I kept setting the scene. But when I got to it, I couldn't really tell the story. Why?

Because it was too, it was too painful. I knew that it's so painful that it must be a great bit. But I couldn't. Is that a thing? I just failed as a comic to get. I don't think you did. Well, I turn, I mean, it turned into the, it's like an oyster like with the, the pearl, because it to cover the real pain. Yeah.

I mean, that's the, I think it might be the longest bit I ever did in a special. It's like 13 minutes on one subject. I've never really done something that long that I can remember. anyway. I haven't checked, but. Comedically, is it still on the table? That's my question to you. Is there a way where you don't, you've, so if you've described the place and that became the bit, you describe, you know, which a lot of people think.

But I think like something is, uh, deep is that or something is like, um, any man that's had a, and every man has a dad. Yes. So many father-son relationships are so fucked up. Yeah. That specifically hits if you, even if you grew up with your dad and you guys liked each other, there's still probably some weirdness. I probably won't be able to do it until he's dead.

So that was the thing I wanted to talk to you about because my grandma died. So that's fine. But she was also, that's the whole joke is she died when she was 97 and in the special, I joke. I'm sorry for that. The phone call is kind of like, hey, it's done. Yeah. It's over. Because I've lost people young.

It's like when they tell you you closed on your apartment or whatever. Congratulations. You can pick up the keys on Monday. Yeah. No, it's big. It's big. What's funny is Shane was here. When she died, Shane had hosted SNL for the first time.

And it was in the city. So we came over and we were watching TV. And then I got a call from it. And I went on. They got a fucking, my grandma. And then I went and I just came and took the call and sat back down. I was like, my grandma died. And I just went back to the TV.

And both Katie and Shane were like, what the fuck? And I'm like, she's 97. 97. I don't know what you want. I don't know. Not a moment too soon. But. My question to you is, as obviously as someone that's influenced my entire generation with stand-up,

especially with the personal level of it, you know, of you like talking about people that are living, it's how much easier is it to talk about when people are dead? Well, yeah. Because I've done a ton of dad jokes. Yeah. I wouldn't have had the balls if I would have known that he was living. Because he's there hearing them. Well, like, I don't know if my dad, I don't think he sees the material.

I don't think he'll see this bit. Sure. Unless your sister's hilarious. Yeah, she gets him to be lucid and she goes, hey, remember that crying bitch you made fun of? There you go. You don't fucking think about it. Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

But he, he, um, his presence on earth is not what makes it difficult. Like what would he say, I guess, when somebody dies, the book is closed. Their whole story's been told. Game's over. So you can really, because there's always a chance with everybody. There's, it's never too late. Like people take turns all. People become different.

from people during their lifetime. Once you're dead, it's done. Yeah. And I'd also say that's probably one of the worst things about losing someone young is because you feel like the game ended quick. You go, we didn't have a chance to come back around and change you. Yeah, that's right. But joke writing wise, you go, you got no editorial.

Most of my jokes about my mom are about her being dead, about her death. Her death was a big deal to me. I was very close to my mom. And she died in 2019. And, you know, I wasn't, she wasn't that old. And so it was dramatic and it was a big loss. And she has had kind of like an Obi-1 Kenobi presence in my life since then. Like she's more omniscient.

Sure. And you think about kind of what she would think on situations. Yeah. She's always there in a sense. And more than back when she was alive, I'm like, I should call mom. You know what I mean? Like you kind of actually corner your parents into a place. when they're alive because this is an overwhelming presence that you're like I can't think about

mom right now because I haven't called her in about a month and I feel like shit so I'm not going to think about her visiting I don't have to call her at all so I can think about her freely I can feel her spirit more freely because there's no guilt involved when you do a joke about you know because you do a joke both about your mom dying and about your dad being in the home with your sisters do they talk to you about your material are they ever like no I'm I mean my sisters saw they're living that with me. And of course, also I exaggerate everything and everything is, you know. It's a joke.

There's all sorts of love and small need and pain inside of the reality of it. My one sister who really is the most that takes care of him the most, makes sure he's got everything he needs. And it's really hard for her. She's really suffered. So she's not, when she sees that joke versus your other sister who maybe has more of a relationship like you do, where you know, like a visit. them once in a while.

I think they, I mean, they just, they, also, they've made an adjustment in general. I've been doing this since I was 18. Sure. So my sisters always go, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, I did jokes. When my mom died, I came up with a joke 10 seconds later that I did. But we were all in the hallway of the hospice and we were crying. My mom was in this room.

We had spent the day with her. Sure. And with her body. and my mom had very strict wishes about just wanting to be cremated right away not with anyone there but so this kid can I do a bit about it but this kid showed up

and he said I'm here to take your mom and he was like a sweet but he's like a working class kid from the crematorium in Boston? Yeah where they burn bums and dogs we gotta fucking take your mom I'm sorry for your loss but he here to take your mom

Listen, we found a fucking pack of dogs in the back alley. And he's got a black bag that's like kind of silt Percy looking, but it's probably been used a number of times. And you just edit this out of what you're, and you just go, okay, and he goes, I'm going to be,

I've got to get her ready, which means, you know, he has to take a woman's body and like, yeah. And they go like, hey, hey,

how about them fucking red socks? And he goes, we're on a fucking skid, shut up, bitch. Yeah. Yeah, you got to play with him. And we're all crying in a ball. Yeah.

And it hits me. He's been in there for a while. You're like, I really hope he's not fucking my mother. That's really funny. I don't, if he is. Yeah,

that really is comedy. There's nothing I can do about it. What am I going to bust in? Nothing I can do about it. Yeah, anyway, then he, the only ceremony was we fall or he put her,

he had this black bag with her in it. And he put her and he was in a, uh, a minivan. with like a half bottle of red gatorade in the back. You know what I mean? And like a sweatshirt. Yeah.

And he put her in there. Yeah. But whatever. So that, that, that, a few hours later, we all had dinner.

And I, and I told my sisters all those jokes with it. And they all laughed. So they're in the moment with you. Yes. And we're a family and they know me. And that's been, that's my role in the family.

Which is a great feeling. It is a great feeling because, you know, a lot of my cousins came together when my grandma died. We haven't spoke or we haven't really been close. And my cousin Lisa, who I have a long bit in the special about, who was at the taping where I talk shit about her in a way that I love her. Right.

But it's a joke where I got nervous the first time she saw it. Sure. And I told her kids. I go, I have this joke about your mom. Yeah. I'm close with her kids. And I said the joke to her oldest son. And he goes, fucking nailed it.

And I went, all right. So it's cool. Yeah. And he goes, oh, I don't think. And he said, here's what's going to happen. Because I did the joke at the show at the state side theater in Columbus where I was like, or the South Theater, I was like, hey, I'm going to, I'm going to do the joke tonight. And I just want to know your mom's reaction.

And her oldest son, Zach goes, here's how it's going to go. She's going to laugh. She's going to call you a couple days later. Yeah. Nailed it. He's exactly what happened. Exactly. Because she's going to enjoy it.

She's going to feel pink and happy that she's featured in your life. And then she's called back and she was like, but then she's not going to not take the opportunity. Like some people, even if they're not hurt, they're like, I get to be hurt. Like, it's like, it's like, I got a coupon for that. I'm going to use it. I'm not going to not use it. Which I've experienced with other people in my life.

But the way she reacted to it was MVP level. She just came in. She was awesome at the special taping. She was like, you got a joke coming about me. And then you realize telling jokes about living people way harder than about dead people. Sure it is. Because of that.

Because they get a couple days to think about it. That's right. And also your relationship with those people is evolving. If you pull out a cease and desist, from Lisa and her lawyer. He goes, actually, spoke to her recently. I don't think that's going to see the day of light. Because I have here a thing that says,

you legally are binded to not do that joke. Getting a cough truck. Oh, get it. Yeah, I think I was interested about that to know if your sister's like, see that and if they go like, yeah, that's. As far as I know, they're okay with it. And again, it's like, that's the way I've always processed life. And, you know, since my mom died,

I keep doing jokes about her being dead, like really dark jokes, really inappropriate jokes about her death because it's the most important loss of my life. Yeah. And so that's right. I feel like the thing is that pain is like a hole that it causes a hole in your life

and you can see all the way inside through it. You can see all the way to the other side. You can see everything. So when a very painful thing happens to you, if you're willing to really look at it, you see forever in there. And there's so many jokes in there. That's where all the best jokes are in the most profound places.

So I keep going to that. I would attribute the quote incorrectly, but there's a musician who's had something like his father died and then his wife died and then something really bad happened. And then he kept playing and they said, he was like platinum album. He's like, oh, watch this. But they said, oh, does that inspire you?

Does that like make you? you inspired to go make music. And he said, no, what it is is their loss has left a hole inside of me. And like an instrument, I fill it and the music sounds different because of that. That's right. That's a really good way to put it. It's like a cave. It is.

And it creates like an acoustic on a situation for how you feel about it where you go like, like, you know, I've in my specials talked about my dad being dead. And sometimes you get people that go, all right, we got it. You're fucking dad's dead. Right. But then there's people with dead dads who go like, fuck yeah. I think that same thing. And you go, and that's kind of what you're talking about with the home,

where you want to say a joke where people go like, this is. Because similarly with my grandma, while it was happening, I was writing jokes and saying him to Lisa. Because we're in together, I go, this is crazy. There was one point where a nurse, because this was a facility to like, it was a rehab facility slash home. She was a drug addict. Yeah, big heroin user, which she could really.

rock, put her on a stratacast give her a fucking slide guitar in the home. No, but she, we were standing in the hallway and the nurse was like giving me the schedule where they go Mondays, we do arts and crafts and we're talking. And across the hallway, there's just an old man going, I want to go home.

I want her go home. And she's going like this. Tuesdays are movie nights. And she like, did it? even didn't even. No, that's what it's like. It didn't even take her out. She was just like, no, every time

my sister calls me and she's like, you know, they're not looking after his hearing aids. Or they're like, he's having a pain and they haven't done any imaging. I'm like, he's there to fucking die. Yeah, that's what you said in the gentleman. He's there to fucking die. Yeah, it's like if you were,

you bury somebody in a cemetery, and then you call the people that run the cemetery and go like, is he getting anything to eat? Do you put the boombox over the plot and play his favorite album? What are you talking about? They're dead in there. Yeah. I mean, the thing is that life, we have this weird thing about hanging on to it when it's not worth living anymore for other people.

Well, that's what it is. We make them sit there and. Yeah, our mortality is tied to them. Yeah, we don't want to, we don't want to let them go. It would be peaceful if you go, just kill them. Just go and kill them. Where other countries might do that. Yes.

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No one does a money-back guarantee. If you've got some summer travel coming up, now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babel.com slash soda. That's Babel, B-A-B-B-B-E-L.com slash Soder for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. My grandma had a dog buddy that was blind and deaf,

and she just, like, loved the thing. And I was like, this is like 10 years ago. I was like, Nana. Can't hear you and he can't see you. I had a joke that his, his just whole life was Metallica's one video where he's just like, no sight, no sounds. Johnny, get your gun. Like, hello?

And there was a moment where I love this. dogs and he bumped against me and I went oh like that and I loved buddy yeah but he bumped against me and I went oh yeah he's gross now and then my grandma took the you know the seat up the stairs to go to bed yeah she just would leave buddy down there and there was this moment where I told katy I was like she wasn't with me but I was like I thought about killing it sure I thought about going I think this is the more merciful thing to do to the meanwhile the things like just like a broken fucking roombo yeah going like just like making its way around the room

and I just fucking grabbed this pillow like grabbed it in a way where I was like I might fucking do this but she didn't do it did you no and I went fucking pussy so what stopped you because it wouldn't have been wrong she's up there

he won't see it coming he won't hear it coming can I tell you the real reason inconvenience I was leaving the next day and I just wanted to go home and I didn't want to have to go like by the way hey I killed buddy and also

I probably would have cracked at some point point and gone, I killed buddy. It's really hard to take, I mean, I don't know, I'm speaking without experience. I'm ever taking a life outside of, you know, millions of bugs that are. Yeah, in their community, you're big. Yeah, they know you. So many bugs.

I'm a mosquito Hitler. Oh, my God. You're, yeah, worse, like mixed. So many. With like Mussolini. Yeah. Bugs look at you and they go, speeches. That's what your specials are to them or the Hitler speeches.

That's right. But for bugs, it's just to be like, Unch de mosquitoes. Yes. And they're all in. bonkers. Just leave us alone.

Just will you fucking leave us alone? Well, stay out of my life. Stay out of my fucking life. Yeah, quit flying. I don't go looking for mosquitoes to kill. No. I open my window. You come to my house.

You just fucking make me itch. You're fucking dead. You're sucking my blood? Because you made me itch for a second. Just a second. While I was having a conversation where I went, oh, and you're fucking. By the way, not a simple death.

No, a total. Just. explosion of guts. Yeah. Of everything. If something came down and swatted you right now and me and Mike were just covered in blood and we were like, ah, ha, ha, and then I saw the hand go up and then go like, dating's weird and do it like a joke.

I'm like, this fucking piece of shit. Yeah. This motherfucker. But yeah, killing buddy, I think would have been. I think I could have done it. So really take yourself through it. How do you do it, first of all? I'll tell you what I do is there is a moment.

Pillow is not going to do it. Pillow would do it. No. He's a fucking shih Tzu. I could fucking... Yeah, but he's going to... You ever try to just give... Brother?

A pill to a dog? Just try to give a dog a pill. But if I fucking push down... Yeah, it would have been... I hope my dog can't hear this. Wait, so is that how you would have done it or how would have you had done it? Well, I could have gone like the Mighty Navajo and just swung them against a rock like they would do when they... Like by the legs?

Yeah, that's where they would do a lot of... I think it was the Comanche. when they would raid a village, they would take the children. Yeah, they would take the babies and bang them against rocks. And then they would take the kids, two to six would become Comanchee.

They'd just go, you're Comanche now. Come on. And then the kids under that, they go, we're killing you. You're a fucking problem. I think I would have had to pump myself up, right? Yeah. I got fucking news four going on.

You'd need adrenaline? Yeah, I'd have to go like, and then I'd have to look on him and go, it would be a mix of, anger and sad where I'd go I don't want to fucking do this. And you're inside the house? Yeah, we're in the townhouse. My grandma's upstairs. None of the wiser. But you're going to make a mess in the kitchen? Make a mess.

Suffocating. Okay, so it is the pillow. It's a pillow in the living room and I come up from the top, down on it. But I'm not catching it because it's like the top of his head like this. Like how are you getting? How are you getting this? That's a very good question. And honestly, can I tell you? It's not easy, man. I'm working my way through this, I go, fuck. A creature that's being killed. Yeah.

We'll fight. We'll fight. You're going to get, he starts biting you. Now you're in a fight. Oh, if that, I'll tell you right now, if that motherfucker came from me and tried to bite me. Yeah. I think he's catching a size 13 to the fucking bat. Yeah, but again, I mean, take yourself through it.

He's still, he's howling. Your grandmother's like, what's going on down there? Danny, Danny. Danny. I mean, go to bed. Man, go to bed. blood everywhere, dog teeth everywhere. Nana, go to fucking bed.

Yeah. You know what I do? She's dead by the end of the story. God, that would have saved me years. I mean, that would have been there. And about $45,000. She comes tumbling because she tries to walk. And then I got both of them.

Yeah. And then, you know what I do? I take him. I put him on her throat. Ah. Get rid of my finger. Murder suicide. Murder suicide.

I'm out the door. But honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, I thought the pillow would have been an easy way, but you're right. No, man. That's what I'm saying. You got to take yourself through stuff. He was there.

He saw where my grandma lives. She lives next to that lake. So here's what I'm thinking. He maybe weighs 13 pounds. I still got an arm on me. Okay. I go to the lake. Yeah.

Bye. I like that. Bye. He's going to the bottom. That dog's blind. I think I did this been on stage once, but I had a dog when I was a kid ticket. And we got him when I was like 11, so more like later. Sure.

You know, and actually I was living here when he died. I went back home because we had to put him to sleep because he had a tumor that was like his whole face. Remember that? You did that on an old special about it's the joke about getting you get something that you know is going to die. Yeah, so there's that big. But the thing is when he died, we put him to sleep. And, you know, we took him to a doctor's office. They inject him with.

They shave his arm and then he's dead. And you leave. We were like, we just left him there. So they do it. The doctor fucks the dog. taxidermies him. Yeah. So I, from what I understood,

he was just going to be in a mass grave of dogs. Yeah, that is. So it's just a big pile of dogs. Yeah. And I had a dream that he woke up in the pile, like somehow they didn't give him enough. I remember you doing this. And that he crawled out from like a rainstorm.

Yeah, dead dogs. And then he came to the door. Oh, my. And there he was again. And we're like, ticket, you made it. And then we immediately were like, we got to do it again, buddy. Yeah. If I did that with Buddy, you still have cancer.

If I would have thrown Buddy in the lake and then came back out and like, you know, wake up in the morning, go brush my teeth and then the carpet's wet. Yeah. Like I step somewhere in the carpet wet and I go, no. And I go downstairs and she's like, buddy got in the water last night. And you're like, son of him. No, what would happen is you throw him. Yeah.

You hear splash and then you hear. You just hear him like. And the way he gets back to the... He comes right back to you. Son of a bitch. I'm glad I just waited. Her other dog. So she got like another old dog.

Come on, my grandma. I know. I know. And then she broke her hip. That's when we put her in the facility. And the dog. I was like, what do you want to do with the dog? And her neighbor was like...

I don't know. I gave it to the vet. And I went, all right. Yeah, I don't need to know. And I went... I deleted all the numbers. I live in New York. Good luck.

finding me. Whatever. What do you get to fly to LaGuardia and come find me? Get the fuck out of here. When I was divorced, we had a dog and we had a really tricky thing with like sharing custody of the kids who were little. Yeah. And this big dog, 70 pound fucking dog.

Yeah. And I told my mom, the dog is a really difficult part of this situation. And my mom said, oh, don't worry, that dog will die soon. I was like, what? Yeah. She said the dog knows that she has no place anymore. She'll find her way out.

It was the craziest thing she'd ever said to me, but I think it was within a month. My dog ran in front of a pickup truck. Just ended it. It was like, hey, you guys broke up the home I lived in. Yeah, she's like, fuck this, dude. I'm fucking on my way out. That is fucking crazy.

My dog when I was scrubbed. I loved that dog, too. I know. Was that your number one of all time? Well, my dog now, I think, is. My dog, Rosie. They're alive. She doesn't watch your show.

She should. Rosie, subscribe. She watches Tucker Carl. Oh, dude. Why is that? Why is the favorite dog? And honestly, he's kind of on a fucking... It's a really good dog.

It's so interesting. And I'm not going to lie. He's kind of on a... He's on one right now. So she's picking up tuck at the right time. She is doing bringing him. I have a thing because this is Katie's first dog. And we love Myrtle.

My girlfriend. My fiance, yeah. And I... But she's still your girlfriend, too, right? No. I feel like she's like bride and waiting. You know, she's been bumped up.

She's like comfort plus on an airplane. She's not president elect. Yes. That's exactly. She's wife elect. He, she will always go like, and Myrtle's the best dog of all time.

And I go, Montana has a word. That was my dog when I was growing up. Montana? Yeah. And he was the greatest dog of all time. To the point that I came back from college, was there for winter for Christmas.

He was old. He was all white-faced golden retriever. I left. He died the next day. What a good dog. Yeah. He was like, you're out of here? I'll give me.

Yeah, Luna was great. Luna was white, a little wild. She looked like a little wolf and she was a German Shepherd, Erdale mix. Oh, that's a cool mix. My mom's got an Airdale. And big fucking dogs. They're big. Yeah.

And she was, we were kind of unequal. I was definitely in charge, but she was, you know, she had agency. That's what this one does. Yeah, and you have to... This one does shit where I go, I let this dog have too much control. Yeah, because also Luna was a rescue and I think she had a hard life.

But one thing I learned right away because I went, took her to a vet and she had something in her teeth and she was snapping when I... And he said, you can't have her, let her have those boundaries. And so I would just put my hand in her mouth all the time. I would just go like this to her gongs and she's just like, fuck it's so funny.

I'm like, yeah, don't forget. Don't forget. By the way, that's good to do with your girlfriend. Yeah. I go, I go, get in here. I go, what is this? Put your hand in her. I was holding her tone. Yeah, yeah.

Stop it. What the fuck are you doing? I'm just letting you know. Just don't forget. No, this is the agency that I have. That's what it was like with Luna. I take food out of her mouth. I go, what are you eating?

No, one time I was walking Luna in Venice where we used to live. And there was a piece of shit with broken glass stuck in it. And we saw it at the same time. And I was like, don't do it. It's your. She gobbled it up. I've got to get it out of her mouth. It's going to kill her.

Yeah. And I'm holding her mouth open and I'm trying to take shit and broken glass. And she's going, she wants it. And I had blood, I don't know whose blood. It was insane. I mean, because also, I think my daughter was in a stroller too. And you're like afraid. You're like, did she swallow it?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shit or. Yeah. Can I tell you the worst part about having a dog in Manhattan is how many times we turn a corner and my dog just sees a piece of pizza and she's like great back and grab it and so what i'll be doing is sometimes it'll be smaller she'll just eat a Kleenex of something and she'll eat it and then i'll be in pulling it out of her mouth and it'll be in front of it's like got his in it'll be on like fifth

avenue and 30th street and someone will go dan saunter and you go hey hey and i'm just reaching in her mouth i go hey man nice to me i saw at the cellar last night you go great yeah get the fuck and she's like yeah and you're touching crack addict piss yeah i'm just holding a fucking thing of... No, my dog now doesn't do that. She doesn't... Really? She's so docile and compliance.

Even if she doesn't... Like, you could take her paw and she'd just like, look at you, and you could just twist it off. Yeah. And she would just go, like... I wish she didn't. It really sucks for me.

But she would just let you. Yeah. Our... My dog plays mental games, like a real housewife. Where, like, sometimes she's like, I love you. Now I'm mad at it. you and I only will talk to mom

and you're like, bitch what did I do to you? I did nothing. Oh, because I ripped the Kleenex out of your mouth. She'll do stuff where she'll, the funniest thing she does is she loves to poop next to cars, but like with her face like this far from the door. So what she

does is she always happens to find a car with a motherfucker sitting in it. Yeah. And then it's just me standing outside their car. And then like I had a guy on his phone. He was, holy shit. I went, I'm sorry. Anyway,

oh, it's all right. Yeah. Setting up a trap for this guy. No, my dog is very beautiful and lovely. People love her. Sure.

And I walk her every day in a little alley in New York where, um, it's next to NYU. And it's a very bucolic alley. So all the NYU students get their pictures taken there. And so you, you see a lot of people in caps and gowns. Sure. Also,

a lot of young couples, go there because women like to, women like to be photographed there. So you see couples like the boyfriend has taken the picture. You know, you've seen this a million times now. It's a new thing. The boyfriend takes a picture and she's like this. Then she goes, let me see it.

Yeah. And she goes, no, no, no, no. And she gives me new instruction. Back to video village. So they go. Exactly. So she gets kills and he does, you know. Yeah, dude, that's brutal.

I'm so glad I'm in my 40s and just past that stage where we don't have to do that. Because it's a little alley with no cars. I can let Rosie off the leash a little because she poops a little faster that way. Yeah, the freedom. And then she goes, if somebody goes, oh, she goes over, and they like to take pictures with her.

That's cool. She's become, one time I was just sitting, I was like sick and I'm walking with Rosie and I were both, I don't know, we'd been through something together. Yeah, both stick all night. We get sick at the same time, me and my dog. And we're walking in the alley, and this girl and her friends are taking pictures,

and she goes, oh my God, can we take it? a picture with your dog and i just go yeah and i just i clicked the leash off and i and i just said go take a picture and rosy just walks over and she sits facing the camp like she just sits old hat and they were like what the fuck she's like go ahead just take it listen here's the deal yeah i've been up all night we're going to do three shots i'm going to let you edit one of them okay are we in there are we in yeah that's exactly i have a worst problem where myrtle will pin the leash when any woman goes goes, a dog!

It will be on Broadway, middle of fucking crowd and myrtle and go, ha, and just put all over the weight. And I'm like, yeah, and then I look like abusive because I'm like, get back here, you fucking bitch. She's like, she's just chaotic. She just brings it, which I love, but she does bring it. Fuck, there are two things I wanted to ask you about before, before you leave.

One of them was, I watched Pooty Tang last weekend. Oh, God. It was, but can I tell you something? Yeah. how fun was it to make that movie it was fun to film that's what I mean you can tell

I know people are like I enjoy what are they what's that noise they go oh fuck a movie fucking suck I knew that was there was a lot packed in that I watched it being like

I had so much fun watching it because it was like eating something that they no longer make where you were like they don't make fun movies like that. Like the entire purpose,

first off, watching David Tell act in a role. David Tell didn't want to be, he didn't want to do it. Like he doesn't want to, he just wants to live his life. Yeah.

So like we'd be filming a scene where he's in the scenes with Robert Vaughn. Yeah, he plays right hand man. Yeah. So we're shooting a scene where it's like me and Robert Vaughn and he's there. And Dave kept pitching me things.

Like most comics, pitch ideas because they want more time. Sure. But he's like, how about if I say, Mr. Lecter, let me go get the car and I leave? Because he just wanted to smoke cigarettes outside. Yeah, yeah. And he'd go like, he kept pitching ways to get out of the scene.

And I'd be like, Dave, if you're willing to stand here for one hour, you're in the movie forever. Like, then you don't have to, you can go home and then you're in the movie. That's a good way of putting it. Forever and ever. Yeah. But if you leave, you're not in it. You're not going to be around.

an hour of your and he's just like can i just like get his take his coat and then just go to the closet and then not come back because a lot of times when a tell is in stuff he's he's just a tell like in train wreck he played the the bum but he was a tell and this was like the first thing i saw of atel he was good he's a good action yeah he is and he's like a shittishman a good shitty henchman yes he is to take out putty tang yes but then but yeah so we the cameos by the way if you rewatch pootie tang you had everybody in that movie. I don't remember. I mean, J.B. Smooth, obviously, and Chris Rock is as Pouty Tank's

friends. But Jennifer Yeah, Jennifer Coolidge. Coolidge is awesome. Yeah, I wrote that part for her. She's phenomenal. She's one of the funniest people in the world. She's the Darth Vader of the Pudy Tank. That's right. Of... Wanda Sykes is in it. She's great.

As the running, I loved Wanda Sykes, but Todd Barry getting the hooker. Yes, Todd Barry. There's like a little Todd Barry cameo. There's cameos. Rick Shapiro is the bum that he kills him. And then he brings him back. And when he's shooting the gun, he's going, bang, bang, bang, while he's shooting an actual gun.

He's saying bang. He was so Rick Shapiro. Bang, bang. Obviously, he's like really Rick Shapiro and Lucky Louie. But you got like a perfect encapsulation of Rick Shapiro. That's right. He's like, booty tag. He comes out of the knife and he's like, fuck you, man.

And he whoops his ass. But there was so many, if you're a comedy fan watching that, feels so fun because you just go like, oh, that's... Keep seeing those people, yeah. You see those people and you go, what they became. Also, that was my first real experience with J.B. Smooth. When I was younger. I made a movie a couple years before that called Tomorrow Night,

and he's like the star, like he's his co-star. He's a big part of it. But I love J.B. He's one of the funniest people in the world. But that was my first experience with him. I remember watching it. And then I wanted to re-watch it. And I remember, I just like,

I put it on and I was like, dude, we don't fucking make movies that are... Well, it was a real mess because I made it and I really... Paramount paid for it. Chris was a really big star. Yeah. And so... That was right after Bigger and Blacker? I think so...

Well, he was doing the Chris Rock Show and I was writing for him. Yeah. And we were winning a... We won an Emmy for writing on the show and he was just all over the place. He was killing. Yeah. And Pouti Tang was a character that I had written for the show as a guest on his show. Yeah, I remember that.

Played by Lance, who was just the guy in the office next to me, Lance Crowther, who was really great. So that's how you got him. Lance was my friend, and he's, him and Ali Leroy were a comedy team. They had a comedy team back in the 80s called Mary Wong. That was the name of their comedy team. And the two of them used to perform together in comedy clubs in New York. That's how I got to know them. And then we all were writers on the show, all of three of us in Wanda.

And Wanda, right? And so I had this idea because we used to have guests on the show like Lenny Krabb. And, uh, and Maxwell, I think is, I think it was. I think it's, because his name was Maxwell. Oh, yeah, it was. I think Maxwell was the guy who really became Pouti Teng because he would come on with a shirt that showed both nipples. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, Chris would talk to him and he'd just go, yeah. Yeah. It's just all sex. And this. Yeah. And then I had this because I used to, when I was a kid, I used to talk nonsense a lot.

Yeah. I used to just, the Puditang language. has a black feeling to it, but it's from when I was a little, I used to say like Putentane on the Clint of Santa Planet, clanny plaintiffs. I used to just talk like that with my friends. So, Satate. Satate, man.

Yeah, I'm just, man, I'm just being like, just saying this, you know, I'm on Dane on the Dittism. On the flip side on. And for Chris to go, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And we did it, the first time we did it on the show, it just exploded. Like, there was people on Hot 97 radio, like, talking about it.

Really? And everywhere suddenly, faster than was possible. So it was like a viral thing. It was huge. And this was back in the 90s. And we would go, we shot a thing where he's running for president.

We did like a campaign spot. So we took him out into the street to shoot some pieces. And people flocked to him. And it was like, this isn't even, there's no way this many people have seen it. But there's something in the air about him. So I wrote the movie and it was like a kind of,

you know, it was this adventure strange thing and they gave us $3 million to make it which is very little amount of money Oh that's my eyes just lit up in today's current thing I went holy shit Yeah no it's like nothing so that back then was like No because it was a real 35mm movie

Yeah and uh anyway So then Paramount got an idea that it might be really a big deal So suddenly because it was supposed to be with a small division. Sure. But then they ate it and suddenly there was pressure for the thing to succeed. Is that what ruined it?

I think so because, well, also I was brand new at making films. It was a lot of pressure. Shooting it was pure joy. But when I cut it, I cut it linear like a like a totally, this is a movie about a guy named Pouti Tang. And it's a serious movie. Yeah.

And I cut it just, here's what happens next. There was no flash to it. And, uh, They hated it. They hated it. And I got fired from the movie.

And they recut it and put in all this goofy stuff. Well, that makes a lot of sense. Narration and stuff that was not my thing. The one thing I was going to ask, which doesn't seem your style after watching Louie, after watching other stuff you've made, it seemed like they cut it like a music video. Yeah, they did.

That was the idea. Do you know when they, in Austin Powers, where they'd do the scenes and he'd be dancing with like the sexy girls and go to the next scene? That's what it felt like. a little bit. Yeah, there is that kind of feeling to it. And also they explained some of the jokes. Sure. Like there's a scene where Pouty lives in a, he lives in a nightclub. Yeah. Called Poutis. And then he goes up in an elevator at this red elevator from the inside of the nightclub to his apartment.

Awesome. And so the crowd, because he performs with Missy Elliott. Yes. And then he gets mobbed all the way to the elevator and one girl gets in with him. And she's crying on his shoulder the whole time. And she's screaming and, and he's at first it looks like it's, they're having sex and then when it pulls out and they both have their pants on it. Yeah, no, there's just, she's just, uh, clawing on him. And he just wants to go home. So he leaves her outside and she's screaming at the door. Yeah. And then he leaves, he pushes out a little saucer of milk.

And she gets on her hands and knees and, and she drinks it. That's the scene. And it was a scene that was just a kind of a silent. It's the thing as an audience, you just observed this scene and you go, what the fuck did I just watch? So they didn't like it, Paramount. They're like, what is he gay? They're like, they want him to be getting laid and stuff.

Slamming ass. Yeah. So the movie has narration where it says, like, I know you're wondering. Yeah. Why didn't he have sex with her? Yeah. Because she's drinking milk off the floor. She's crazy.

Like they explain it. it really broke my heart when I saw that. I was like, why would you explain that? Why wouldn't you just let an audience be curious and wonder what the fuck they just watched? When do you see that? When you're fired from a movie like that and they recut it,

do you see it when it comes out like everybody else? Not well, so, uh, it was a bad loss. Like I got kicked at, when I was kicked off of it, it was bad. Like my last day in the editing room, I was,

they, they told, I went back to my hotel. They're like, we have, no one's paying your bill at the hotel. Like they, it was like,

like they were so mad. It was really violent. Really? It was really bad news. And I laugh, but I remember it. But I was really upset at the time. But anyway, and then so I just left. I said, okay, you can have it. And then I got, I was doing an interview for like Entertainment Weekly

or somebody and they said, how do you feel? Because the movie was about to come out. And I said, I don't know. I haven't seen it. And so Paramount caught wind of it that I said that. And they made a gesture and said, let us fly you out. and show you the cuts and so i went out to l.a and i just sat in a room in a big screening

room and there's a projectionist with thick glasses and he goes uh what do you hear for and i go i'm here's to watch pooty tang and he goes i heard that's a stinker oh no oh you go fuck you library man what the fuck he's like he wasn't wrong and i know but that's and i sat there and i watched it were you by yourself by myself completely alone i just sat and i watched it and i was like Oof, I hated it. Were there things that you made that you liked that you watched them destroyed? I think the scene with him and the, well, yeah, they, they everything. They put in jokes through narration on everything.

And I just thought it was horrible. Yeah. But, but that's what happens. Also, to be clear, my cut was indefensible. Really? Yeah, my cut was insane. Have you ever gone back and like, I never really went back and watched it. If you went back and watched it now

where you have all this experience and you're like... I'd like to someday sit and watch it. It's the somewhere... My editor, Doug Abel, who's a great guy, he edited the movie with me. We both got fired.

Yeah. That's fun though. He recently sent me... Didn't fire with a friend is always better. We have like an offline, like the avid offline, low-res. I think it's the only version

of the original Poutyton cut. There's no narration. It's just like taking the story very seriously all the way throughout. I got it. There are some things in it when I watched. that they managed to keep.

And I think the people who did it, they did a good job. Like they did a good job. They did the job they were hired for. That's exactly right. And a lot of people love the movie. So that's just my, it's just me and obviously,

I'm too close to it. I would say they love Pouti Tang. I think Puditang is the character that you like the movie where you don't go. Yeah. Oh, I love the whole movie. I like the Pudy Tang stuff where Pudy Tang did this. And I like this scene.

Yeah. But, you know, I don't, don't have any regrets about it. I learned a lot. But that's interesting. I didn't even know that you got fired from that. After watching that, I was like, yeah, watching it stylistically, you're like, this doesn't feel like Louis. No. There's a lot of stuff that doesn't feel, when you see written and directed by Louis C.K., you go, after watching Louis, you know, and watching Lucky Louie and all that stuff, you go,

he's got, there's a lot more, uh, he's more artistic than this. Like, well, thank you. This, it felt like a TRL music video. Yeah, it's goofy. Yeah. Um, and then finally, Before you leave, I don't think anybody that knows me and has known me forever knows the infamous story. This was like, you don't remember this, but I've always wanted to talk to you about this because I've carried around, I've carried around this shame. What the fuck? 2000 and you're doing, you were, shameless just came out. You were building chewed up. 2007, 2007, 2007.

07, 0, 08, yeah. Yeah, because we would run to where you were. were doing sets. And Joe List, you didn't know Joe at the time. Didn't know him. Joe and I, this is when we were becoming best friends. Yeah. And we, at the old Boston.

Yeah. And the old Boston was called, it got bought out and it got changed at the comedy village. Right. And it was next to the firehouse. And Joe got hired to emce the Monday night shows there, which were a marathon. It started at 8 p.m. and they'd go until 2 a.m. Wow. All barked in audience.

Wow. And I was one of the barkers down, I found, if I barked, if I sat on the stool in front of the club, I could smoke cigarettes, talk to other comics, and then occasionally go, hey, great comedy show. And they countered it as barking. But I was just hanging out. Yeah, sure. And Joe and I were drinking. And this is when Joe and I both, both of us have stopped drinking. Both of us were heavy drinkers.

Yeah. And one of the waitresses liked both of us. She was just cool to us. Yeah. And she would give us these fucking big shots of Jameson. So we had drinks. drink Jameson and I'd have we'd have Budweiser right inside the door and we'd sit outside and it was I mean when you're an open micer and you're falling in love with New York comedy and you're like

really getting in over those days it's the best and Joe was opening for DePaolo yeah so Joe actually knew real comics sure and Joe so there's one night it's a Monday night and Joe is like oh the Apollo's at the cellar I got to go over there and get my check because I think they just did like the Hartford Funnybone together okay and he's like so I got to go get my check from the palo if he jumps off go on and bring up the next comic the guy who's on stage yeah whoever is on and i'm like yeah whatever man i'm hanging out so i'm hanging out and joe comes back and he like goes and brings up the next comic and he's gonna fucking louis's going on around the corner and i go oh hell yeah and he goes i bet you would i bet you'd go up here i bet he'd go up if you told him

we had a show going and i go yeah and he goes all right so go to the cellar and let him know we got a show done and i go fucking all right i'm I'm a massive comedy fan. Like, it is, it's, how old are you at this point? 23 years old. And I was about 40. Yeah, you were 41. It's like, I'll tell you how deep I was into it.

Like, yeah. You talked to me and Matt Ruby and a couple other people on the train one time after you put out shameless. Yeah. And I just asked you about the venue. Yeah. But the whole time I was just like,

think of something that he can answer. And I was like the Peter Fonda Theater. That's a cool venue. And you're like, oh, it was. It was pretty up close. Yeah. Yeah. And we went on and did a mic.

So I was like, all right, I've talked to. Now, I've made this, I made a similar mistake with Patrice, where I had had a nice interaction thinking, so you thought that was. We're shorthand, I can talk to Patrice, and then Patrice just fucking swatted it away. You know, it gave me like a, ugh, don't talk to me, open micer.

Okay. And so I'm nervous going over. Yeah. You're on stage in Shaq, RIP, the old bouncer at the cellar. Yeah. The guy that looked like you killed him. Everyone called Shaq.

Big Jay had introduced me to him. So Shaq would let me into the cellar to watch comics. I could go stand by the Ray Ramona. You weren't working there yet. No. Gotcha. Four or five years out from working at the cellar. I'm an open micer.

I'm a barker. I'm just like barking or whatever. And I'm like, great. And I'm a little drunk. I've been drinking with Joe. And I got around the corner and I go, Shaq, is Louie on? And he goes, yeah, Louis's on.

You can watch him. And I go, great. And I run down there and you were doing the joke about when girls go crazy, they show their tits. When women go crazy, they drown their kids in a bathtub. And so you were like, you closed on it. And I got to see you do that joke. And I was like, that's great.

And then we're in the hallway. You walk out in the hallway. Yeah. And I'm an open micer. And I'm trying, this was the worst thing I could have done, was I was trying to use slang instead of just saying what it was. Oh, no. So instead of going, hey, we have a show, we have a show around the corner at the old Boston. Right.

It's a couple people, but I know you're working out material. If you want to come over there, we're going to be there all night. Putting myself in that moment, I would have been like, oh, that's nice. Thank you. That's what I would have said. What'd you say? Oh, fuck, Lou. You get offstage.

I don't remember this at all. I know you don't. And you shouldn't. And that makes me very happy. So far, none of it is me, so I couldn't remember your memories. So you come out in the hallway. We're in the back hallway. You ever watch a movie that's all flashback from one person's point of view, but they keep having

scenes that he's not in. Yeah. And then you go. How did you remember that? Yeah. That's impossible. You were there. dream. There's movies that are like a whole dream, but like he wasn't in that scene. Or they hear dialogue

where you go, you couldn't have even heard that. Or just a tiny, a tangent. Sometimes in the cheapest movies, there's a guy looking at somebody with binoculars. Yes. So you see the inside, but inside of the binoculars, there's cutting. There's like close up. That's really funny. Like, wow, those are amazing. Amazing binoculars. It's like trading singles inside. Anyway, go on. So instead of saying, hey, we're doing a Would you like to do a set? You come out and I go, great set, Louis.

And you go, thanks, man. And I go, oh, that last joke's killer. And you go, thanks, man. And you're, like, looking at your notes and you're about to walk up the steps. Yeah. To go to the olive tree. Sure.

And I go, the village is working. And you go, what? And I go, and I go, and I go, the village is working. And again, you're very polite. You go, what? And then I see your face going to this, like, and I go, I don't know what I'm talking. about and you go, I don't know what you're talking about either.

And then you turn and you go up the steps. Oh my God. I remember this like it was walking yesterday. Oh, my God. It was summer and it was warm. And I go outside and I light a cigarette and I turn the corner to walk back up. And Joe lists, both of our close friend. Yeah.

He's standing out front doing a very Joe listing where he's going like this. He's going. Yeah. Yeah. He's gone. Woo! He's gone. Did you talk to him?

And I went, I told him the village is working. and Joe crumps up his nose like he always does and he goes, what the fuck did you say? And he still got his Boston accent and he goes, the fuck did you say? And I go, I said the village is working and Joe goes, we're in the village. Yeah, would it makes no sense at all.

I don't know. And I remember slumping down on that fucking stool outside and being like, fuck! And he goes, you should have just, and so for the rest of the, I mean, for like weeks after that, Joe was like, hey, Louie's around the corner. You want to go tell him the fucking village.

That's incredible. I was like, dude, there's going to be a day where I'm so relieved because I was worried like that I was an asshole in this story. You were polite. That is 100% your fault. 100% my fault. And absolutely I know where the moment was. No.

You know what it was? And this is where a lot of people get in trouble. They try to be something they aren't. They're an opposer. And I was being a poser. And also having had a conversation like I, when I was that age, 20s, maybe two, same age. Yeah. Maybe same exact situation, working at Boston Comedy Club at the same location.

Yeah. And being in the village wishing I could work at the cellar. Yeah. Knowing a dormant, a different generation dormant, would let me go down and watch until Esty would go get the fuck out. I get kicked out all the time. Really? Yes.

I didn't know that. Because I'd stayed in the hallway and try to see. And you're on the doorway and you're like, look. Yeah. Oh, my God. And that's awesome. That's this. You know, Bill Hicks would be on stage or Alan Havy or, you know, John Stewart.

We were, Jerry, all these guys. And so the thing was, though, that when Boston, I opened for Jerry Seinfeld when I was like 19.

Yeah. At a club in Boston called the Paradise. They still, you can still do stand up there. It's a great room. Really? And I opened for him there. He was doing like,

it was like a 900-seat room. Sure. He was that level. He didn't have a series yet. And so I opened for him there, and he liked me. So he took me to a few places. Great.

And I got to know him. And then he tossed me, stopped using me. Sure. But I was at Catch Rising Star in New York, and I was sitting on the stool, and he came in, he was doing Letterman. And back then when someone was doing Letterman, it was this thing, Jerry's going to be on Letterman tomorrow. And he's at every club working it out.

I caught the very tail end of that when I moved here in, like, 06. They were like, if you were doing Conan, the producer was with him. That's right. And they were going, like, everywhere, your Broadway Caroline. Back then, to do Letterman was a life change. I think it was a big deal. And so Jerry was walking around with Mario Joyner, and they were working out the set together.

And I was a catch. He was also a Poodie Dang. Yes, he is. So I'm at catch, and Jerry walks in, and there's a hubbub that he's here to do his five minutes and go. And he does a, I'm watching him, I'm sitting right in the stool that's right by the kitchen, and he does the set, and I saw a bit for him.

I saw a tag. And I knew him a little from Boston. and he walked, it was a bit where he was talking about milk. And he was talking about how once you're racing against the expiration date, you have too much milk, you're washed in your face with it. It was a great bit. And he said, how do they know that's the date? How do they know that that day is the day?

That was it. That's all he had. And I was like, I got it. So he's coming off stage. And I just go, Jerry, and he looks at me like, no, yeah, this kid, what? And I go, I got a bit. And he goes, go ahead. He's kind of like, you have 10 seconds.

And I go, you say, how do you know that's the day? Is the guy milk in the cow? And the cow goes July 3rd. That's very funny. And I knew it would work because of his funny face being a cow. Yeah, the commenting. And he goes, oh, thank you. I go, yeah.

So then he does it. I watch Letterman. He's on panel with Letterman. And this is a point of my career. where I was nobody and the letterman was like on another side of a thick wall like Hannibal Lecter you know like just like a thick you can't touch him yeah I myself cannot did you smell my premise what did most of the mings say to you he said that premise has been done he said I can smell your cunt how can he smell your cunt I can smell your cunt I can smell your cunt I could smell your cunt

I could smell your cunt his cunt I could not smell letterman's cunt I want to call the episode that, but I know we can't. So Larry's on Letterman, he's sitting on panel, he's telling jokes, and he does that thing. How do they know that that's the day? The crowds, I'm listening, the crowds building, that was the day. Are they milking the cow? The cow goes, July 3rd, fucking explosive applause. And Letterman comes out of the applause and goes, the cow says July 3rd, and Jerry goes, yeah, the cow, and they reiterate it.

And I was just like how this is incredible. And you're in your apartment. Is this when you're living with DePaulo and Astoria? By myself on Bleaker Street with a Murphy bed. Oh my God. Charles and charged shit. And I had a VHS tape of it that I still think I have somewhere. Got to hold on it.

I think I still have it. That feels so great. I was just like. And so the next day I'm walking around, I think Central Park and I see Jerry. I bump into him on the street. And he goes, hey. your bit killed. And he goes, now you know that your mind,

the way you think and your comedy, it can work in the big leagues. Like, now you know that. And I was like, so I felt like now me and Jerry are, you know, we're connected. I got a letterman thing. So then like a month later,

he goes on the Tonight Show, Johnny Carson. Sure. He does the joke again. I think he closed with it. Kills. And so then I see him at Catch. And I just walk up real familiar.

Hey, I saw you. did the bid on Carson and he goes, what? I was like, do you remember the cow? And he's like, uh-huh. Oh, oh, man. He's kind of like, that's enough now. Oh, man.

That's enough now. That was Patrice going, ugh. Yeah, just no. It's a weird thing. Comedians have a weird Darwin thing inside of us that we will slap guys down a little bit. That's enough. Yeah, you get, yeah. Yeah, stop it.

And I don't like myself for it, but I feel like I'm fulfilling some kind of role that I'm not aware of it. You know what it is? It's nature. It is nature. And when you don't, the herd gets out of control

if you don't call it, you have to go, like sometimes go, shut the fuck up. Yes. That's what, and I talk to Bobby Kelly about this all the time. My generation,

we failed because we weren't mean enough to the people after us. Right. We, where we could have gone, shut up, you fucking hack, stop doing crowd work.

It's some kind of a deal that you need to. It's like, I'm reading this biography of Abraham Lincoln. It's, by Carl Sandberg, and it's very detailed. Sure. It's when he was living in Kentucky, and he was a real ham,

and he would sit on a fence post in town, and he would just talk shit, like him. And his father would be walking by sometimes, and he'd see his son just like talking, and he just fucking knock him off. That's, just push him off the fence. Push him off the fence and keep walking. Shut the fuck up.

Anyways, yeah, like I was saying, fuck my dad, whatever, he came by. Yeah. I'm a sword fight that cock sucker one day. And I hope he's old. Ridiculous is out on Netflix. Go watch it. Thanks for coming by, dude.

Thanks. That was really fun. That was fun hang. Yeah, man. Fucking A.