Soder - 157: Best Losing Team with Joel Walkowski | Soder Podcast | BONUS

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Soder is building a new hour on the road!Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tourOctober 2-3 Alburquerque,NMOctober 4-7 Fort Collins,COOctober 19-21 Winnipeg, CanadaOctober 22-24 Calgary,CanadaNovember 5-7 Salt Lake City,UTDecember 10-12 Rochester,NYFollow Joel Walkowski and buy his book Honolulu Blueshttps://www.amazon.com/dp/163774904X?lv=shuf&language=es&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallbackhttps://www.instagram.com/joelwalkowski/?hl=enhttps://www.bigwalkowski.com/PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572Connect with SoderTwitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoderInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoderTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoderYoutube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy#dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcastProduced by  Mike Lavin     https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Hey, everybody. Thanks for watching the podcast. I hope you're having a good week so far. And if it sucks, I hope it gets way better. Pick that. Shitty week. I'm on the road. November 5th through the 7th, I'm going to be at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. We added a late show Thursday. You could see me there. Salt Lake City, November 5th through the 7th, wise guy comedy clubs, one of the best clubs in the country. And then December 10th through the 12th, comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, New York. Very excited. I love guys. going back there. One time I was there, I was extremely constipated. So I'm excited to be back and to be able to eat your food and then poop it out. That's going to be real big for me.

DanSoter.com, all tour dates. Go check it out. Thanks for watching. I hope you're doing all right. It's not really about the game. It's about like the emotions that come with it and like how you feel about it. makes you fucking, how it makes, what it makes your life. Like sports fandom shapes your life in a way that I think if non-sports fans understood it, there'd be an easier way to get them in it. And if only there were a work to publicize, that's the backbone of. That's the backbone of this entire thing.

Yeah, Honolulu Blues. Look at that. We'll just do it right there. How to Love How Loving a Losing Team. No. I love that subtitle. How Loving a Losing Football Team Created a Winning Man. I've known Joel forever.

You are one. one of the most diehard Detroit sports fans I've ever met. Lions, tigers, pistons, you're on board. Live and breathe. Live and breathe it. I've been here since 2010, but I'll be a Detroiter like forever. But what I respect about specifically Detroit sports fans is your guys' loyalty to teams when most people would be like, ah, you could probably give up if you wanted to.

You know what I mean? Losing is naturally occurring. Like you're going to lose. Why would you be upset with that? You get competitive with other losing sports teams? Absolutely. Like, Jets, Browns.

Cleveland? Yeah, but the Jets are the ones that I get like upset with you. Like you won a Super Bowl. You know, I don't care if it was before the moon landing, but you won. For real, that is crazy to think that they won a Super Bowl

before we went to the moon. And they, but by the way, I would almost say they are the most cursed because they won it early. It's like being a rich kid when you're a toddler. And then the rest of your life, you're dirt poor.

and they go, well, you were rich, and you were like, I was a fucking baby. Yeah, your crib was in that mansion. You remember that? You're like, I don't have, I didn't have object permanence. I didn't remember that. And now I'm dirt poor and you're like, oh, but you did have money at once. Yeah, but your quarterback, you know, tried to kiss that sideline reporter, you know, it's not so bad. What's, dude, that is, that is such a quotable line that Joe Nameth where he goes, can I kiss you?

Who is it? Leslie Colbert. Susie Colbert. And, you know, I want to know, what if. She said yes. How would he be? Oh, if she would have gone into the fire? Yeah, what trend would that have started?

She just grabs his dick. She goes, kiss me, Joe. He goes, this is nuts. That's what it is. You know how they say when a shark swims up on you, punch it in the nose? If a drunk Joe Namath shows up on you, kiss him and grab his dick. And you know, Susie Colbert, like, she's stronger than I am.

If Namath tried that with me, even today walking in here, I would have smooched him. I would have wilted. I would have gone, take me, Broadway, Joe. Oh, the fur coat. It works wonders on me. There was, you know, it's when you guys made it to the NFC championship game in 2024. I don't remember who he lost to. I remember.

I will say, and this is exactly what I said, because I'm going to keep the same energy that I had. I love Dan Campbell. I love your guys' colors. I didn't like your guys' helmet when you went all blue. There's something about the silver and blue that goes together. You have a great stadium. Great stadium. In Detroit.

People sleep on the, all the stadiums are downtown next to each other, in city limits. That's how sports should be. It's kind of like European soccer. Like, that's where you gather.

Yeah. Philly has a similar thing where you can go to where all their stadiums are by it. It's a little outskirts. It's like we want you there to go to the casinos next to. Yes.

They don't know what they're doing. Only one that I know that is downtown as much downtown as you is either Cleveland or Indianapolis. Indianapolis is, is just like right there. But in Indianapolis is just two teams, right? Sure.

I mean, two and a half if we count AAA baseball. I like this. You're in permanent cell mode where you're like, come to Detroit. Come to Detroit. Do you like tires? You can do whatever you want with them. You can burn them if you want. But when you guys, when Dan Campbell started

turned that team around and then you guys got really good that season, and this is what I said to my other friends that were Lions fans, because my sister-in-law is a Lions fan. And I was like, listen, I want you guys to win a playoff game. But you did this thing that I used to do when I was a kid. Or if I wanted one Christmas present specifically, like a bike, I'd be like, all I want is a bike.

And I would say this line to my mom where I'd go, if you give me a bike, you don't have to give me anything else. And then she would get me the bike. And then I'd be like, there's no other presents. And she's like, I got you the thing you want. Well, we were like, playoff win, playoff win. So I felt like the playoff one was the bike. for you guys. For me it was the car bed, you know? So like that's a Detroit kid gift. I want my bed to be

shaped like a car. I need a car bed. We don't have enough cars around us. So I need it in my like nocturnal hours. But you got the car bed. We got two car beds. So then you get two car beds. And then what happens is the NFC championship game comes around. We got two and a half car bets. And you guys start getting very like, well now we got to go to the Super Bowl and win it all. And it's very like you guys got your car bed. We got our car bed. And you know, this. book that we're talking about. So I'm taking care of my autistic father. I make the comparison that like cheering for a losing team is a lot like having a special needs parent. You know, you're not going to get what other people do. So you make the most of what you got.

Yeah. That is a great way to look at it. So like my dad, he's like actively dying. I'm his caretaker during this span. And he asked me to leave his deathbed and go to that game. And I do. I call him. at halftime. We're like, can you believe this is happening? No, we can't. Wait, did you go to San Francisco? Of course. You went to Santa Clara. Yeah, the tickets have been in my family since 34. So it was, my dad's dying wish was that I go to that game. And you go to that game in Santa Clara. You're up 24-3. 24-7. And the first play, like Jamison Williams, like that reverse, like two minutes in the game. I mean, brilliant. And by the way, if you're not a sports fan, I'll see you next episode, because we're about to get real nasty with it.

If you like any sports, get in the waters. And I will say the book, people are like reaching out. Women like it most of all. So if you're not a sports fan... First off, I'm just going to tell you right now. I live with a woman that is a sports fan.

There's a lot of sports fans that are women. But this is... There are ways that you can get... This is for all non-sports fans. You read this book because it is... It's a religion. People don't understand that modern NFL in a lot of families has taken...

in the place of religion. Absolutely. And I make that same argument. Because like your dad was basically telling you to take your Hajj to go to Mecca or just to go on your pilgrimage. And I grew up in a neighborhood that was Muslim Catholic mixed. Sure. So the only unifier, I'm three years old in 1989.

Barry Sanders was the one thing. Number 20. And like we go a little sobriety in this where I was like, oh, you can pick whatever higher power you want. I got Barry Sanders. I love that. I love that. You know what's funny is I'll always owe Barry Sanders a lot

because when I was growing up, there was a time in my life that it wasn't good. You know, like shit was real bad. Like 12 to 16, shit was real bad, like mentally bad, physically bad. Everything was bad. And my friend, shout out Mike McDaniel, the coach of the Chargers.

He would always, he was obsessed with football. We were both obsessed with football. and he would always go my mom and her boyfriend would kind of talk to me in a way that was like you know my mom since apologized for and shit but her boyfriend would be like you're fucking dumb you're not going to be shit

you're not you know what I mean and that does affect somebody and he would always go you know Barry Sanders dad says that he's not even a top five running back yeah and he would go you know Barry Sanders dad says like to his face says that Jim Brown is a better running at the Hall of Fame enshrignment he does that and that was always

so was Barry Sanders to me always has this soft spot because at this worst time of my life, I was going like, dude, fucking Barry Sanders. Because Barry Sanders is a man. Put on Barry Sanders highlights. If you don't like sports, pause this. You're on YouTube right now. Go over, do Barry Sanders highlights.

It's fucking awesome. The way he scoots back goes to switch. My dog does a thing when we're walking in the morning where I'll look to one side and she'll go to the other and I'll look and she'll go to the other. And without a day, every time I go, what are you, Barry Sanders? Yeah. And not many football players transcend the sport. He did.

He's not a football player. He's Fred Astaire. Like the way he whirls around is, you know, defying human movement. And he retires early, doesn't win a championship. But back to the religion part. So you go through all that. Your dad's on his deathbed and he's like, go to the game. Go to the NFC championship.

And like throughout that whole thing, like I'm packing up his hoarder house. I'm moving him back to Detroit. I started writing the book as a journal like by his best. side. So like, yeah, how are you going to reach him? He loved sports books. So I put him in a sports book. How do you find out your father's autistic? I mean, he owned 2,000 switchblades. He slept in a room of like every media guide from every four major professional sports team. So it truly was a way to connect with your dad. It was the only thing because he was into like leather switchblades, Detroit Lions. And like, I picked the right one.

Dude, you being a leather daddy would have fucking rule. You were assless chaps everywhere. You ever hung out with Joel? His butt's always out. I was banned from the Bloomington Comedy Addick. He moved down there without ever stepping foot in the club because he would go backstage. He would give comedians a switchblade, brass knuckles, and a double-sided coin.

God damn it. Why didn't your dad? I did it twice. Where was your dad when I worked at? He was probably a little ill during those days. I would have loved if your dad when it came back and gave me a switchblade, I would have been like, thanks, Mr. Walcowski. You fucking rule.

Yeah, I didn't even call him dad. He went by banjo Bob because like, yeah, absolutely. He was a master banjo player. So like six hours a day, he like fanatically made leather, played banjo. That's what I grew up with. Did you, because of that, did you have any interest in learning the banjo? I hate it. I'm deliverance mode.

The banjo scares the shit out of me. But could he peek a pluck, huh? He was nasty. That's, was there, is there any part of you that thought it was cool when you'd watch them rip? Like, because they like pick it, don't they? Yeah, yeah, like he, he did like a cover of like the animal's house of the rising sun that was just like gnarly. He played Detroit jazz clubs and the jazz people like, what the fuck is the banjo doing there? Then he shows them what the banjo is supposed to do that.

You got to like, all right, white boy, go ahead. And he's like, yeah, absolutely. And like the one regrettable thing when he played, he would always wear a beret. So, you know, you can't really approve that. That's a tough look. Was he a war vet? No. Oh, damn.

That's the only way you can get away with a beret is if you go, you know, that guy served and you go, don't touch him. He's got a beret on. No, he, like, grew up in Detroit, but then decided he was a country gentleman as, like, the second half of his life. So moved to the woods and, like, took on this persona. Like, almost like a wrestling persona. Absolutely.

Really? Was that hard to deal with? Was that, like, were you, like, going like, yeah, but I'm going, like, how gradual is it? Well, I mean, it's a switch flip. So he played guitar. he fell off a ladder. He shattered his wrist. And like, then the banjo's lighter than guitar.

So he switched hard and fast. And then like went all the way in with it, relocated to live near the banjo makers. And that was his entire life. In Indiana? Yeah, Bloomington like 10 miles outside of it. And like, he'd be like, come on visit me. We can go see the buffalo skull. There's a big pit where they throw dead animals.

And it's like, man, I just want any advice. That's so funny. You know what's so funny is because I always think as the child of an alcoholic, you just only lose your parents to alcohol, never the banjo. I never thought it would be like if he'd just crawl his way out of a banjo and call me on my birthday. But I mean, back to the point of sports being a religion, it really is like it is a way in because it was like my dad abandoned me. But look, I still got my Niners hat on. I still love the 49. I never lived, I never went to school in San Francisco.

I'd live there for weeks, but I'd never. I never like lived there, but I was a, I'm a diehard 49ers Giants fan. Yeah, and you can project the entire father relationship on a team. On to it. And I'm going to tell you right now that it's so funny because like, man, now that, now that I know that you were there and your father's on his deathbed and you fly out to Santa Clara, you're in Levi's. And then we have a phone call.

Then journey plays. Don't stop believing. Don't fucking, by the way, I'm going to tell you this. And this is a compliment I'm going to give Detroit. But when a local, when you have a local band that has bangers, it helps the stadium. Absolutely. And they sang the South Detroit thing. I was like, oh, this is our day.

Wasn't our day, Dan. Journey's from San Francisco. I recognize who the fucking bands from. Because I went to a 49ers Lions game at Ford Field a couple seasons ago. I think like 2021 or 2022, your opening montage is this. The sickest shit I've ever seen in my life. The stadium goes dark. It's Seven Nation Army into Kid Rock, into Eminem,

into like fucking, like classic soul back into Jack White. Ooh, if you're not, if your blood isn't fucking pumped, when you hear that, that lion's intro, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, and like everything associated with this team is fantastic, except the win-loss record. Except that. You got the colors, silver and blue rule. But that game, you guys are beating the shit out of us to the point that at halftime,

you know what was the one thing? It was C.J. Gardner Johnson waved at our crowd. Waved at the crowd. And then. No, he didn't. He went like that. He went by like that to the whole stadium in Santa Clara. He went by.

And to Katie, I went, it'd be real nice if that went up, if we got to shove that up his ass. Yeah, and then God abandoned us in real time. So the ball bounces off our defensive back's face. The one time, you know, beloved Niner Brandon IU. Well, he was beloved until this offseason. But he was like, he was waiting for him to come. He had like that one year and it crested with that one play. And then we came back, we came all the way back.

Gibbs fumbles on the next opening drive to that start. And then we're in it. Now it's 2414 and we got the ball. The sphincters are tight. It's all over there. Did you know right then on that fumble? Yeah, the fumble was like, oh, I've seen this movie. Because there are certain losses that are only Lions losses where it's not,

it's not like losing a game. It's like gravity where it's always, it's going to find a way to its destination one way or another. It's science. It's science. The Detroit Lions will find a way. And I love Dan Campbell. I loved him when he played in the NFL.

I liked him when he was a coach of Miami. I've always liked his energy. Watching that loss, afterwards was like, damn, I wish it wasn't us. And anyone, and like, you know, there's a difference between sobriety and recovery, right? And I've always kind of projected my id onto this team for good or bad. Around September 2021, I really got into the recovery. That's really funny.

And like, I needed to rework things as Dan Campbell's taking over my team and is like, oh, okay, we didn't get to Super Bowl, but I don't do pills anymore. So it's not that bad. Yeah, you're like stacking the winds. You go, hey, we're on the right path. And I'm clean for the first time in years. But Dan Campbell is a guy where he was like, so I was so high on us winning because I was like, immediately what I thought, you guys, no offense, you guys were an afterthought. We had lost to the chiefs in 2019.

So we go, oh, we get revenge. Like, oh, this is going to, to me it was how my religious view of the sports was, this will, the, the, world will be even. And it looked like San Francisco fans were looking ahead to the next week, where they needed one more, where that win would have been the best thing that ever happened to me. Yeah. And it really was, we really beat the Lions on our way to like, well, we need to settle a score. We need to settle a score to Chiefs. And then it took me a while to go like, I feel bad for Lions fans. Yeah. And I would argue that that game killed my father, you know, so, you know, maybe we could have pulled it out. Oh, no. Oh, no, we did it. We did it.

Because I'm like going, I'm getting back to, I fly back to Detroit. I'm talking to him about the game. And like, you know, we're pretty well positioned moving forward. He just kind of leaves, you know, in that moment. How fast after the game did he die? Like 10 days. So like, it was around, but like he was on an upswing. And then like after that, boom, where he's in like the death rattle mode. Do you honestly believe what was your dad dying of? He had the combination of COPD and diabetes, which if you're not familiar, it gives you panic attacks.

It cuts off the oxygen. Yeah. So if you left him alone, he would call an ambulance no matter what. He'd make up excuses to go into that. Like at one point he got put into like a mental institution just because like he couldn't be left alone for five minutes. Because he would freak out. Yeah, he'd freak out. Like he'd do.

And like it's funny when like it's pretty gallows here. But like a dying man talking about. as like, what, you're saving us two weeks? Yeah. Oh, you're going to leave right now. Please don't. It's like your in-laws leaving a day early. We'll leave a day early and go, yeah, you're going to leave anyway tomorrow.

All right. Thanks for clearing up that week and a half. So he was talking about before he died? Absolutely. And he was very strategic because if there's a certain way you threaten they really take good care of you. Really? Yeah.

What's the way? If you, it's not I'm going to. myself. I'm going to kill myself with a certain way of doing it. If you say that, they have to keep you for three days. And he knew that rule. Because to them, it says you have a plan. Yeah. So if you go, I have a plan and I'm going to do it. They go, fuck, you got to stay here for doing it. Yeah. And he was going to, I'm going to smoke my cigarette next to my oxygen tank and blow myself up, which, colorful. Bad ass. Give them credit for that. That's the most badass. Literal blaze of glory. You can do the action movie thing and flip your cigarette and fucking blow yourself up. That's kind of badass.

When you go to San Francisco with your dad on his deathbed, and he's in this stage where he's going to call an ambulance every five minutes, are you the only one that looks after him? I'm the only one who looks after him. Are you an only child? I have a sister, but she's like not totally with it, so it all fell on me. Damn. So when you leave, are you going like, I don't want to go because I don't want to deal with having to deal with the ambulance?

Yeah, and he stayed next to the airport. And like, we had a good facility. Like, that problem had been solved at some point. So there were people there to look after them. like independent living facility and like until like the last minute i was like can i stay can i say is like no you got go and like you know but do you think if the 49ers lose that game and the lions win and go to the super bowl how many more days does that buy your father i think it buys about three months so writing goes he gets to march or april yeah like he sees a flower again

no i cost your father four dors cost your father his last spring his last spring away Oh, no. So when you, when you're leaving the stadium, where did you stay? Did you stay by the stadium? I stayed at a friend's house and like I went down to the mission and like, and Niners fans would just go up to me and be like, oh, you guys played really well. Were they nice to? Yeah, the mission fans, they were lit.

The ones in the stadium, they were looking forward to Kansas City. Yeah, I could see that. It sucks losing, but you really see how a fan base treats you. Yeah, they treated me great. Someone picked up my tacos. We're just like, that was a tough one. And, like. And you know what it is?

I like that hearing that as a 49er fan. Because there's our fan bases like Philly or other places that'll just like rub your face in it. When McDaniel was with the Dolphins, I went to the playoff game against the Bills. That was a tough one. There was a tough one. Skyler Thompson, but they went almost, they took them the distance. They like, McDaniel coached his dick off, almost had him beating the Bills. Bill's fans couldn't have been nicer.

There was one guy sitting next to me that was kind of a dick, but he was just super excited and I could tell he was excited that the bills were good. There's a difference between excitement and malice where like Philly, like you walked through the parking lot and like last year I went and like someone threw lit cigarettes at me as like, dad, is that you? But, um, my dad came back. Yeah. There is malice.

There's like New York Giants fans. New York Giants fans, you go there. they are very like, fuck you, Jets fans. Like the New York fan base. When I went to Dolphins at Jets, the Jets sucked. And we were leaving and they're like, fuck you. And you're like, you don't even have a team. The Bills fans, after the dolphins lost, so nice.

They were like, man, you guys really played hard. You really played hard. The next season, I went to Kansas City. They're great. Kansas City. Oh, okay. I went neutral. So.

I went to the game Garapola. got hurt. So he against one of my home's first starts. Yeah that was uh yeah that was when he blew his knee out in 2018 because I had like a wedding in Kansas City went solo and like yeah I would say um I thought they were all right and then I went with the dolphins obviously you know I was a dolphins fan at the time not anymore um but I went they were the rudest after they won that's to me I was like, yo, fuck the Chiefs. Also, fuck the Chiefs because the 49ers recought shit for Kaepernick and Eric Reed

taking a knee during the National Anthem, you know? Yeah. People love to throw shit on us about that. Which at the baseline was, people were like, you're disrespecting the National Anthem. That was the entire point of their argument. You go to a Chiefs game, the National Anthem at the end,

when it says, and the home of the land of the free, home of the, they all yell out chiefs. Fuck you. How is that not disrespectful? And there's at least nuance in what Kaepernick and Reed were doing, right? There's nuance. Also, it was the land of the chiefs.

And then you motherfuckers showed up. And now it's no longer the land of the chiefs. But to like interrupt, that was what's funny because Eric Reed was still on the team. I went to a Niners Eagles game in Philly in 2016. And Eric Reed was still taking a knee. during the national anthem and the national anthem's playing and all these eagles fans are coming like yo stand the fuck up stand to fuck up and you're going you're screaming during the national anthem

that's way more rude than this guy taking a fucking quiet knee yeah and he's like a very humble gesture like i'm just abstaining i don't want to stand for everything this stands for listen it's it was crazy to watch people get so fucking mad about that just because it was my team and you were going like chill out guys Because you see it at other stadiums, but Chiefs fans, after we, after the dolphins lost, they were very like, get the fuck out of here. Like it was freezing outside. And they were like, get the fuck out of here.

Oh, you went to that one. Yeah. And they're like, you know, we're hurting. And they're like, get the fuck out of here. And you're like, man, fuck the Chiefs. Also, I'm personal. Yeah, yeah, a couple Super Bowls. And a couple, you know, shady calls went against you, like.

I don't know when they tackled Fred Warner and didn't call. a holding penalty. Zero holding calls and a Super Bowl is crazy. But, I mean, you did lose a Super Bowl for George Kittle doing a bit. The ball is out on the field. George says hi to another George and the ball just scoots past him. I mean, as a comedian, you've got to at least respect the commitment. George, that was a good bit.

You could have grabbed that phone ball. No, man, in actuality, I know a lot of Chiefs. One of my buddy Rob works for the Chiefs and I know like their organization is they've won enough. So now it's like, I hope we get this point with the Lions where you guys win three Super Bowls and everyone goes like, all right, go away now. Just give me one appearance.

So I'll settle for that. But is this going to be all I want for Christmas is a bike? Because I disagree with that. Because I'll tell you right now, you don't want that. You don't want to go to a Super Bowl and lose. Well, I mean, I did, I do have my dad's ashes and I promise that I would spread him at the Super Bowl. So on that level, I need to get rid of these ashes.

That's funny. All right. And I can justify. Like a Super Bowl is less than, you know, a general funeral cause. So I can really justify the expense. It might not be. Not anymore with how much they are now.

With how, like I had to beg, I had to beg Michael Che to take me with an S&L ticket. That's what I did. I went, which, because he's a huge diner fan. And we text all the time.

And I was like, he can get tickets from Lauren. And he's like, I'll ask. And that's what I was like. Let's go. I can't go. They're so expensive.

The only, other reason I got to go to the Super Bowl against the Chiefs. I've been to two Super Bowls, both losses, I'm good. And I've said, and you're, by the way, you're a sports fan that would understand this, because I said it on Rich Eisen's show and people didn't understand what I was saying. I was saying, if the 49ers make it to another Super Bowl, I will not go. Yeah, you want to get the spectacle out of the way, but like at some point you really want to pay attention and immerse yourself in the moment. I just, I also want them to win. I've been twice. They've lost twice. The proof is there. I cannot go again. Yeah, you're, you're,

you're the bad juju. And like those little... By the way. But if other fans did this, this is what fandom is. You go, I'm the bad juju. I'm not going to go.

Yeah. And like I'm determining the outcome. My personal actions, like the 53 men on the roster, they mean nothing. The play calling, the coaching staff. It's my shirt.

It is where I was sitting on the couch. Because I changed it. And now you caught that pass. Now, would you have done that if I was sitting in the middle seat? Who's to say? Probably not, though. We know.

What was your dad's first reaction when you got back from that game? I mean, he was grateful. Like, because for him, he lived through a lot of bad seasons where it was 2 and 14, 3 and 13, 0 and 16 for us to like. Are you the only 0-16 team? The Browns got another one. So we share that. We're competitive with the Browns of that,

but we're the only team to ever have a player die on the field and stay dead. Okay. Yeah. Okay. DeMar Hamlin came close. And the best part is you can tell how well run this franchise is. Continued the game. Yeah, that's crazy.

Get up. We're so good. So when you got, wait, the lions continued the game? Yeah, we continue the game. What are you guys? Vince McMahon with Owen Hart? That's fucking wild. You're like, it must go on.

But with your dad, did you bring them back like a program? Yeah, all the chock. He loved Chotchke. So any program, any pompom, any giveaway. What did you get? Oh, I mean, I got a towel, rally towel for sure. And like that's, that was the big one. And like, you know, hey, throw this out, but I want you to have it.

Yeah. Because he's a hoarder, you know. So like anything, you know, we're going to keep stuff from a losing, from a winning season now. So start over and new with the new chotchkes. I love that. Did he have a hard time letting go of the old chotchkes? Well, he was, when he was in the mental hospital, I filled a dumpster with the chachis. So, you know, he never ended up.

going back to that house. Was there anything that you kept? Because there was like, I kept 17 banjos. Really? Yeah. You have 17 banjos? Yeah.

That's nuts. But you hate the banjo. I hate the banjo. But yeah, it's hard to get rid of them, right? Sure. My father's soul is in these banjos. I can't,

I have to hold on in some point. Is there a moment in your life where you come to terms with the fact that you are the banjo prints? I'll just pick it up one day and I'll just know how to pluck. That's what I'm, that's what I wonder.

Because do they put picks on their fingers? Yeah, but he grew his fingernails. out long and gnarly, like real like rumple stiltskin vibes, you know. But he could pluck them motherfuckers out. Like a motherfucker. They were about, in diabetes, it makes your nails thick. So diabetes, he's like genetically, like LeBron is to basketball.

He is for band. That's so funny. I didn't even think of that. That's like when Andre, because Andre the Giant became a giant because he had like a pituitary gland problem. So it's like, that was your dad with the diabetes where he's like, no, I need the Beatties. Yeah.

Give me that ice cream. I got to play. Give me some sweets. I'm about to jam out. Damn, that's fucking, could he play songs just by hearing him? By, like, for sure. And, like, he never,

he would, like, study composition where he had, like, a real intellectual approach. It was his fixation. It was his everything. Sure. Sure. Did you, do you notice you have any of that in you with, like, certain things?

Yeah, I mean, I do have the 300-page book on the Detroit line, so I think I have the fixation thing down. Absolutely. Do you go to training camp and shit? I went in the past, but the one thing about the Lions, we had that, like, one winning season. We act like we're a blue blood now. Like, the ticket prices went through the roof.

It's hard to get training campsites where it's just like, and it's like next to my mom's house. And now it's like a whole hard to get in. Like, I was hopping fences as a boy. Yeah. It's really changed. Yeah, it really was. It used to be a thing where if you just went to where they were, you could watch. And now it's like they're selling like a fan experience.

If they can make money, they will. And like, I get it. Sure. But it does, it does suck because it also kills the kind of like community part of it. Yeah. Like Green Bay has it where they do that bike ride where like they ride the kids' bikes back to the facility. You kind of want it being a part of the community. Yeah.

And like you want to enmesh it a little bit. And you can't really have that when it's sponsored by American Express. You know? Are you like a big Pistons, tigers, Red Wings? Pistons for sure. What's your second biggest team? Pistons, no doubt. So you got the chip?

I got the chip. It's great. Was that the one of the, I mean... That was the day I graduated high school. It was awesome. Shout out Chauncey Billups, Mr. Big Shot. Yeah, and, you know, you get your diploma. You watch your team win the title, like, riding that high.

And one of the great upsets in, like, American sports history. You guys beat a stacked Lakers team. That was the Lakers team with Carl Malone and Gary Payton, right? Yeah, washed Lakers, but, like, people didn't know they were washed. So it was just like, you beat a lot. You guys had Sheed. You had Ben Wallace, Tashon Prince. You had everybody. Yeah, the high moment injury. But like, maybe that was the bike I got for Christmas, right? I might never get another one. And I have to be cool with that.

I'm just thinking about this out loud. I didn't realize, as a San Francisco sports fan, we got two on you that are hurt really bad. We got. Oh, all the giants. Yeah, we got the 2012. The accidental dynasty of the giant. It wasn't accidental, baby. That was the farm system. But 2012 world series, we beat the Tigers. Yeah, and it was, it smoked us.

Beat the shit out of it. And, like, that made me less of a baseball fan because the Tigers were the best team in baseball for a decade, didn't win a championship. You guys had Miguel Cabrera. You guys had everything. Prime Verlander, Prime Scherzer. Nothing to show for it.

Prime fucking Verlander. That was when he was dating Kate Upton before he made her his wife. You had a Sports Illustrated, you're right. And then we come along with fucking Tim Lincicum and just beat the, breaks off you. Yeah.

That was where we had the harder problem in the NLCS with the Cardinals than we did with the World Series. That was always the Giants. We had struggle in the NLCS and then we just beat the shit out of somebody in the World Series. Yeah, it wasn't even close, smoked us beyond oblivion. So so many years, like we were the best team. And then like the next year, Boston, it's like a magical home run and sends us home.

Yeah, you know, Boston, they really need it up there. Well, do you look at a city like Boston and you go, you can turn it around and become the greatest sports town of all? I mean, the run that Boston's had in the last 20 years makes them the greatest sports team. Best sports city, I think, time period ever. But I think it's like my argument is I've only lost and I still love it. So in terms of being equipped for life, I'm good, bro. Can I tell you that is something that I never thought of until the 49ers became ass in 2002, 2003,

where the ownership changed and we started losing. and what I did is I watched people stop being 49ers fans and that made me furious. When we were 2 and 14, the 2005, 2004 season, we're 2 and 14, just fucking awful. And then I moved here in 07, and I used to go to a bar to watch 49ers. And I remember a guy outside, I was smoking a cigarette

and a guy outside walked by me, he goes, oh, dude, I used to be a 49ers fan. And I was like, you fucking, got to earn it with the losses, right? And like, the key component isn't just a losing. It's like, it's Tuesday afternoon. Work is shitty. And you're like, man, I can't wait to watch my team lose.

Like, that's still going to be the best part of my week. They're going to get stomped out and I'm still going to watch it. And the wins aren't the point. Like, my life has ritual and ceremony. That's so hard to come by where like the outcome is almost secondary given that. And it is hard to explain to sports fans what it feels like on a Sunday when you're so excited. It's like truly seeing a family member you're excited to see.

Even if your family member strung out and a fucking loser, you go, but I love that cousin. And I'm excited to see that cousin, even if they're a loser. Yeah, they're going to borrow money, not pay it back, but like I'm going to let them to money again. And it really is like a fun thing of a Sunday morning being like, people don't understand. I'll drive back like six hours through the night so that I can watch the game

if the four hours are playing at 1 p.m. So I can watch them at home. Yeah, and I've turned a bar in. Brooklyn into a Lions bar. How cool is that? I've been going to the same bar says, 2011 shouts Nate Fritz and who did it with me, but we sing our little song after every touchdown.

And now a lot of other Lions fans come and like other teams go. But like there's a big like, my whole circle comes out. And like, it's a celebration every week. And like, who cares what the score is at 4 o'clock? I see like 15 people I love. Yeah.

That's the best part. That's the thing I liked the most about sports. And then what I've always loved is like, because the only Denver team I supports the Nuggets. And I chose that when I was 10 because my mom was living there. I was going to school there and I didn't like any of the teams. And I was like, well, I need a team here.

Fuck it. The Nuggets because the Warriors traded away Tim Hardaway. And my dad was like, good luck with the Nuggets. But what's crazy is when we won the championship in 2023, all my friends from Denver and I were like calling each other about it. And it like activates a community. Absolutely. And you're like calling after a loss and you're like,

ah, dude, I think we'll be all right and, you know, turn it around. And that's what happens with the sports team where you're like, I have my group chat for the Niners. Yeah, and you're in each other's lives. Yes. So much more. We're like, am I going to talk to my buddies about their kids?

Like, oh, she's starting kindergarten tomorrow. No, I'm not going to do that. But like, you know, James and Williams have a good camp. And then he throws in, oh, my daughter's in kindergarten. It's like, oh, cool. That's what it really is. Like, what I love about sports fandom is the community you find with it. And what's also funny is when you realize that it is just a game and it's like week by week and you take it too seriously.

Because I saw Dan Campbell when I went to Vegas for the Super Bowl, you come down the escalator at the Vegas airport and there's like where you take a train. Dan Campbell and his wife were standing there. And I came down. I was wearing this hat. And I was like, came down and I was like, do I say something? And I was going to walk up to him and do the like, you guys had a hell of a season. Like hell of a game. But then I also go, I don't think I should do that.

You guys had a hell of a season. I think you're great. All right, I got to go. But I'm walking up and I heard him having an airport fight with his wife. Not like a big fight, but like a like, because I don't know where the train is like that. And I went, I just like turn her out. I was like, I'm good, man. I ain't going to say shit to him.

I left him completely alone. Yeah. One of the rules are about approaching a celebrity in public. Like New York, like, I don't bother anyone if I see them. No. And I thought I was steadfast in this. I saw a Survivor winner. Made a beeline.

I pegged him from 100 yards away. I was like, oh, that's Kyle Frazier. I was like, hey, man, great season. That's so funny. You know, I would never in New York. That guy was on Big Brother. Like, I've walked past Mick Jagger like nothing. But like a survivor guy, I was like, holy shit.

Is that your shit? Are you super into Survivor? Yeah, I mean, I like sports. Survivor's a sport. It is. That when you can get into, that's the smart thing that some reality TV. TV shows did.

They go, make it competition. Because I got into like MTV's the challenge during, uh, during COVID because it was just on and we would like watch it and you're like, oh, this does feel like a sport. If you can gamble on it, it's a sport. Yeah. Were you an old school gambler before the apps? Yeah. And like still, I like to, I probably have an old school bookie.

Like I support small businesses. That America is how you gamble. You go to a bookie who has a fucking, who has a fucking, who has number. and you give him the money. Yeah, BetMGM isn't going to call me and be like, hey, how's the book going? It's like, but it is.

That was also the, like, the small part of the community is like being like, and if you feel good about it, you put action on it, and Hank over here will break your knees if you don't. Yeah, and it's,

I like that one person's getting ahead. And with the gambling apps, no one person from the, it's a private equity firm. It's like, you know what I mean? You're not, it's venture capitalism.

No one's getting ahead on. Yeah, if I lose the, worst at least i want someone getting on because of it sense of community but it really is like old school bookies to me are cooler that's what i always say it's the difference between smoking and vaping it's like vaping will never be cool yeah there needs to be a guy on the other end of the phone right exactly online gambling will never be cool to me but you have a bookie that's great and like also sports gambling it kind of ruins the the sports watching game like i don't want to

My million dollar idea is a sports bar where you can't talk about gambling or your fantasy team. That ruined it too, because the fantasy team guys would like talk to you about sports. When we were at, so Che and I are at the Super Bowl. The 49ers, they're about to lose, right? Like it's pretty obvious. We're about, it was in overtime. We're about to lose. Someone dropped it.

And the guy behind us went, oh, he was on my fantasy team. and I was just like, I might get an assault right now. I might catch an assault. Yeah, and these things are supposed to accentuate the things we love, and they become the primary things. We're like, I'm talking about the number 29.5 obsessively in public.

Like, who gives a shit? Yeah, exactly. And that also is the thing where I also think it changed the sport fantasy football because now guys are actually like worried about their points. And then gambling is fucking, fucking sports up. Because gambling in the era of social media,

these people just start accounts and then just. And you can find the clips of guys fixing games in the NBA specifically. Oh, yeah, yeah. That Donahue thing, man, with that fucking ref, you were like, was that his name? Donahee. Donahee. I had him announced my charity basketball tournament last year.

Did you really? Yeah, he's the homie. Did he really? Dude, I love it. That's so great. He brought him in and he did. Yeah, I always get like some celebrity to announce the matchups. And they have to be like a funny celebrity, like, and his freedom, come on down.

got you, brother. That's fucking awesome. So Donahey, like, he gave us nice announcements. He gave us some gambling picks. He was a great guy about it. Having Donahe give you gambling picks is so fucking funny. He just threw him in. He couldn't help it.

He's from Delco. He wanted the action. He's like, yeah, and also, they're looking good. Don't you take the action on him? And I think it's right and proper that every NBA rep is from the same neighborhood in Philadelphia. They always are. By the way, there was a. NBA ref named Joe DeRosa for a long time.

Just full name and you're like, oh shit. How are his sandwiches? Yeah, not as good. And I would say not as good. I would say the motherfucker doesn't know how to make a sandwich. I hope the lions do well this season, man. Yeah, I mean, schedule's great. And if not, I'm built for it.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Joel, you're tough as, Joel, what I've always loved about Joel is you've always been so uniquely funny and like I loved Wildcats. I loved, you guys were always like, What I loved about the old creek was coming there and watching dudes be creative in ways that made me feel like I'm not creative enough. And you were always one of those guys. Wow.

Where I'd show up and I'd be like, dude, Joel's funny as fuck. And you're also a great dude. Well, thank you for saying that. I'm like, you know, soda, you're like the pinnacle. Like when I talked about, like, I was like, yeah, I'm meeting soda. Everyone's like pumping out. And like when I wanted, I know I got to pump this book up. Yeah.

And you're the number one guy I wanted to chop it up with because. I figured you would get it. Yeah, absolutely. I'm excited to read it. I'm sorry I haven't read it before because I'd give you a, but I'll tell you, man, without reading a book, I'm recommending a book because I'm telling you,

Joel's the fucking man. Pick up Honolulu Blues. It's just a look at how you can love a losing team and love life. And without hyperbole, it's one of the best reviewed nonfiction books of the year. People are loving this shit. Dude, I'm finishing,

this is such a funny way, say, say I'm real. That's my guy, Sam Meryl. How happy are you for him now? At Nick's championship is like you went in a Lion's Super Bowl. Man, I saw how big his framed photo is of all the newspapers. Like, man, that's a run.

You could tell from the size of the frame how good that postseason was. You know what it was? I saw him last night and he was in a Nick's shirt and I go, I hope I don't see you in anything else till next season. Yeah, and then Sam, like, he's kind of, his stand-up's a little intimidating. You've got that sharp wit. What a sweetheart. Darling of a human being.

And a hell of a sports fan. A sports fan that in, you know, we both live in New York and we watched them, we watched the Knicks win and you almost go like, you saw so many people be bandwagon jumpers. Sam was one of the, Sam and my friend Brian Coppulman were the two people I reached out to be like, you guys fucking deserved that. You deserve that championship. So when the Lions win a Super Bowl, you're going to be the guy I text. I'm, my phone will be smoke will be coming out of that.

You and my sister-in-law, Julie, will be the two people that I text first. Put us on the thread. Me and Julie. This is Joel. You guys fucking do. Check out Honolulu Blues. Go order it right now. Joel's the fucking man.

Go follow them on Instagram. Thank you for listening. Non-sports fans, go pick up this book because you're going to like it. If you don't like it, hit me up for the Venmo request. I'll get you. Or a banjo. Yeah. Go with either one.