Soder - 160: OCD Tingle with Yannis Pappas | Soder Podcast | EP 154

Episode Date: October 20, 2026

Support the sponsors to support the show!Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Click here to get started:https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wdild9do #CashAppPartnerhttps://cash.app/?utm_source=episodic&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=episodic_podscale_soder_2025&source_caller=ui&onelink_id=vFut&af_dp=cashme%3A%2F%2F&c=Episodic_Podscale_Soder_2025&pid=Episodic-to-App&af_xp=custom&shortlink=wdild9doYour health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn’t be complicated. Ready to be seen? Check that appointment off your to-do list with Zocdoc ✅ : https://zocdoc.com/soder #sponsoredhttps://www.zocdoc.com/?utm_medium=audiopodcast&utm_campaign=soderSoder is building a new hour on the road!Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tourOctober 4-7 Fort Collins,COOctober 19-21 Winnipeg, CanadaOctober 22-24 Calgary,CanadaNovember 5-7 Salt Lake City,UTDecember 10-12 Rochester,NYFollow Yannishttps://www.yannispappascomedy.com/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVLFDmJ4JHUhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCywn6iboO1P8U7fotfllocwhttps://www.facebook.com/yannispappascomedian/PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572Connect with SoderTwitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoderInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoderTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoderYoutube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy#dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcastProduced by Mike Lavin     https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Hey, everybody. I hope you enjoy the podcast. I am still on the road through the end of the year. Got two big weekends I'm looking forward to November 5th through the 7th. I'm going to be at Salt Lake Wise Guys, Salt Lake City Wise Guys. One of my favorite clubs in the country. Easily pound for pound the best sound system at a comedy club. We're doing six shows there. I'm bringing my buddy Tom Thakar. It'll be November 5th through November 7th. Salt Lake City Wise guys. Go to Dan. Soder.com and then December 10th through the 12th. I'll be at Comedy of the Carlson in Rochester, New York. Dan Soder.com for all those dates. You can also go to punchup.

Dot live slash Dan Soder. Sign up, get put on the email list. So when I come to your city, you will know. That's the only reason we use those emails. It's just to let you know when I'm coming to your city so you can catch a live show. Also, Punch Up, we got the movie watchalongs. And guess what? Got another one coming.

Stavros. Stavros came by and we watched Cobra, the Stallone Classic. Honestly, these movie watch along are fun as hell. And we can put them up on PunchUp where you can watch the whole movie with us and it won't get stricken down. So go to PunchUp.org, sign up. And that Cobra one should be dropping around Thanksgiving. But thanks for watching the podcast. Hope you enjoy the episode.

Hope you're good. Thanks, everybody. This is like 2002, 2003. Florida does the most fucked up shit or Germany. Yeah. So it was a Germany or Florida. And then they came up with a song. Yeah.

But Florida has... Florida is just a wild place. You know why? I'm speaking for myself. But it's the feeling of everything being tile makes you feel like nothing sticks. Because you can just wash every tile so easy. I like that theory.

That's like if you're in a heavy, if you're in like a cold area, yeah. Everything is like, like carpet and like fur and stuff, but like everything slides off everything in Florida. I like that theory. Yeah, because like when I go down there,

I go like, if I was like a real piece of shit, I'd live down here with my shirt open. Yeah. And I just, I wouldn't wear underwear. We should save that because that's funny. Oh, no, we'll just.

Oh, Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm letting you keep the mafia glasses on the whole time. Well, yeah, a lot of people think I'm wearing them because like it's cool inside.

But on days like this, they're my only. prescription pair. So I just hope it's sunny out. Dude, that is, what a risk that you have to take. I take a risk. So yesterday, because I didn't go home last night, I stayed in the city. Okay.

You had the apartment in Brooklyn. Right. So I stayed with my brother. And so yesterday it was real sunny. So I threw them on. And then you just hope when you wake up it's going to be real sunny. And if not, you're just the dick and gloomy weather with sunglasses on. Or you're on my podcast looking like you're dropping a dime on the Gambino family.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. There you go. I was day. The Gemini. lounge was filled with murder. Yeah. And I'll give you the names and the locations of the bodies.

Yeah, because sunglasses inside is, is a statement. You just got, it's like, there's, you got to figure out what statement it is. Can I tell you, it's, uh, it's hangover most of the time for my friends. But then now we're in an age of our career where it hit. Oh, they're famous enough to do that. Right. Shane used to do that when he was hung over. And then now I saw him do it one time and I went, yeah, but he's kind of got to because

humans are so stupid. Because he sold out a football stadium. Crazy. Crazy. He fucking filmed it. I was just thinking about that. It's like you go to a fucking venue that size. It's so cool.

You're waiting to hear the music and then some guy comes out and goes like, well, it's going to, hey, what are you, what's going on? The fact that Matt McCusker had to follow Meek Mill is insane. And it's like, first off, that's just. We're going to change gears a little bit. Yeah. Hey, guys. We're going to go from rapping to noticing stuff. That's what comics do is we just go out there and notice stuff.

I thought it was awesome. You know, if you were told me that McCusker Big J and Shane would be a show at Lincoln Financial Field with a Chappelle drop in. It's crazy. But Chappelle apparently, like, didn't want to do much because the phones were, because there was no condoms on the phone. Oh, he couldn't, yeah, he couldn't dome up the phones. But that's... Kid does not like raw daddy.

No. And here's the thing I say, I want your phone there. I'm going to stick it in. I just want it raw, dude. The kid does not have the level of trust to have a social interaction, raw daddy. Does he think, do you think that ever comes back for him

where he's not like completely paranoid about that? Because I feel like that would suck that you're like one of the greatest comics of all time, but now you have like a phobia? It's like a Howard Hughes phobia. You know how he got all weird and put boxes on his feet and shit? Chappelle's like, like you're just out to dinner with him.

He's like, is your phone out? Yeah. I can't have that out. Like freaking out. Yeah, well, all the truly funniest people have some sort of functioning mental illness. It's just a variation of whatever we have. Some sort of neurosis or OCD. I mean, I remember even Nate when we would, you know,

and we always bring him up just because he's a mutual friend of ours. But he used to have these rituals that he would do in the car. With a Mountain Dew ball and the chew. Put it down a certain way. He'd look in the mirror a certain way. Dude, you even making that fucking noise brought me back to 2011. Yeah, yeah. With Nate parking at Broadway Comedy Club and going,

with the dip. Dude, that's the same motion. He drives one foot for whatever reason. Were you OCD? One foot. No. He's, no, I'm sorry, he drives two feet.

Did you know that? He's a two feet driver. Sorry, everyone's a one foot driver. Yeah, I was like, everyone's a one foot driver. I thought you were giving yourself up. No, he drives two feet. He drives like a go car? He drives like a go car.

So car, yeah. He drives two feet. What are you mashing in on the corners? Yeah, he used to wear a piece of Vanderbilt. He had this tradition. He had this OCD thing where he had to have one piece of Vanderbilt. And now we see him. I mean, he used to dress like the ball boy for Vanderbilt.

Yeah, like the one that can't live by himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you go, yeah, he, it's crazy that like he's so involved with them now. Yeah. Like Vanderbilt, because you know what it is. It's like a retarded kids dream come true. Yeah. Yeah.

And they like, and you're also seeing that, you know, universities are so full of shit that you just have to get a lot of money. Yeah. And then they go like, hey, come on in. Yeah, yeah. When you were like, when he was doing, you know, a hundred cedars and stuff, they're like, I don't know, this kid just stands around the stadium. Yeah, he goes on.

Do you remember when he went to the bowl game like 12 hours early? Yeah. And every late night set, if you notice, he does the Vanderbilt. Yeah, yeah. He does it. And finally they listened. Yeah. You know what it is, it's like a really hot girl that wouldn't pay any attention to him.

And then Nate had a glow up. and then they were just like, she's like, Ben here the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nate's like, I guess. I don't know. He was like,

but were you OCD as a kid? No, I don't, I don't have the OCD. I did. I used to have weird ones. What was yours? I had to. Was it like when you were,

when the drug dealer was robbing you and your friend were you like, wait, before you steal the drugs? Can you organize them correctly? Hey, I'm going to need you to step on that again. I'm going to need you to step on that again. It's got a gun to your head.

You're like, wait a second. Can you put it on the other side? Hey, listen, Mr. I need left side. Right side signifies evil. And he goes, what's up with these white boys, man? I mean, comedy is the only field. I mean, you're obviously one of the truly funny guys. Oh, I appreciate.

So comedy, because I've noticed that. The truly funny guys are a little fucked up. Yeah. It's the only field where you can look at us and hear a story like that and then be like, did that guy become a success? Oh, but you're going like, he's got to be a comedian. Well, when I got wrong? Because in no other field, you're going to talk about a guy with a salamander

tattoo sitting in Arizona who's some fucking, you know, who's getting a hand job from a guy from a girl in a Pontiac Phoenix on a fucking road stop, listening to music and cassettes. Yeah. And drop it out of college and you're like, people are paying to hear what that guy's got to say? Dude, it's crazy. Crazy. I remembered some good ones, right? Yeah, the Salamander tattoo isn't it true?

Oh, it was a bear paw that I got covered up. That's, it's, it's, that's my friend Keith for just over. Can I take a peek at them? It's pretty bad. Can I take a peek? I'll show you mine. All right. I only had 50 bucks.

What is it? A chain link? It's one link. Were you going to get it all the way around? I only had 50 bucks. 50 bucks only got one link. Yeah, so now it looks like a cancer scar. Oh my God.

It looks like a bear trap. And then I got this one, which is a chick tattoo. What is it? It's Chinese for what? Chinese scripting for respect. Now, now I want all of our friends from the Far East to take a look at this from all of our friend is that respect yeah or is it dumb american or does it mean just like tab yeah or it means like something where you go that hurts so take come on you got to show mine was a bear claw oh yeah let's go see

the chili peppers oh yeah dude is Dave matthews man baby and then it's a tree uh-huh that he like covered it up but he just covered it up because I had tribal around it I that's where that's where we left off yeah so this is new oh no I've had this for like over 10 years really yeah so I guess I just you haven't showing your arm. You're not really a show arm kind of frame. No, you know, I remember doing the Marisa video and I took my shirt off and Louie Katz. Just where I love Louis. He's one my best friends. He just goes,

he's really disappointed in your torso. He just said that while we're at the basketball courts and I was like, damn, dude, can I put my shirt back on? It fucking Louis fucking boomed back to me, dude. There's something about like the way Jewish guys can be honest

with like no chaser. It's like, it's like Mezcal. where you go, oh, that bird. He goes, oh, look at your torso. And I was like, fuck you, dude. So, no, I'm not an arm's out guy. But they're very honest unless they're talking about the Palestinians being the sole aggressor. And you're going like, I think there's, I think there's some way to go around.

Maybe there was a push before there was a push back. I saw, I saw a push. There could be a push and then a push back. I saw, I don't know. Possible for both things to be true. I don't know. It's like the scene in Gofuss. No, no, you did.

You did. You did disrespect him a little. You disrespected him a little. Yeah, you disrespected him a little bit. A little bit. But yeah, dude, that mental illness thing, you're like, if you were on paper, saw who I was at Arizona.

Yeah. Bear cloth tattoo with tribal. It wasn't a hand job. It was a blow job. It was a blowy, yeah. Behind a Autozone. But I remember the, behind Autosome. It wasn't for cassettes.

It was for CDs of 80s rock bands. That's right. It was like, I believe it was a big. Jay, I always thought it was so funny because I remember the bands. It was rat. It was like another crazy hair metal band. You do, I was in a dark place. That lady was big.

That lady was big too. And she would come out in a bathrobe with wet hair for like the shower and then just suck my soul through. I'm like, that's fucking wild. I can't go buy an auto zone without getting a half a chub. The AutoZone side of the background. AutoZone. Dude, it was in the loading, dog.

Nothing about that image screams future success. No. Yeah. That's dead. That usually goes, I mean, if you did a probability run down to that, you're going 95% this kid's going to end up in a dumpster. I sometimes think about the guy that robbed me if he's still alive, like the two guys that robbed me,

if my shit ever comes across his algorithm where he's like, you think he remembers? Probably no. Yeah. But just that idea that that's possible. Did you talk? Did you say anything? I did a whole,

no, no, during the robbery. Yeah, I was like, what the fuck, man? Yeah, what the fuck?

You might remember that because you do have a distinctive vocal. Hey, hey, what are you watching? He goes, Mira, what are you watching?

They go, these white boys, he does, he does a perfect macho man. And he goes, Mira, this is the guy I fucking robbed. Dude,

it's so funny. Dude, if you broke into an impression to that robbery, you might have been able to, oh, you're robbing me right now. He would have been like, yo, hold up.

Yo, it's not De Chappelle? That's one of the greatest deep. Yo, that's a perfect DeCappelle. Honolay, I never fucking learned a white boy who do Chappelle like that. Yeah, dude, he was so about his business that I highly doubt that. That guy was like, I wonder if he saw that this is not happening. Because that was all real. Everything I did in that story was absolutely real.

And also, similarly, his trajectory, there's a good chance he may not be still around. No way, bro. To be... I'm gonna tell you how... He may not be catching any of your YouTube clips. No, no, no, no. His, yeah, he might have caught one before YouTube was a thing. Yeah.

But, you know, the guy that shot you in the ass. Yeah. Do you ever think about that? Like, there's a chance that... Not that he knows. Yeah. But there's just a chance like a hyenas clip or one of your stand-up clips go across...

For sure. Goes across his algorithm and he's like not even processing. Like, I put a bullet in this dude. I think about that all... For sure. I think about that because it's like, when I was living in Tucson, I never thought it would ever get to the point where I would be able to, like, sell tickets.

For sure. And then this guy had me dead to rights. Also, it was very professional about it. I say that in the story, but it's true. It was like, you know when you have a good doctor that's, like, that moves quickly and, like, all their moves are, like, they make you feel comfortable with their moves? I don't know if that makes any sense. When you go to a doctor's office, like, the way they take stuff out of the, and, like, hook your blood, you know what I mean? Or a nurse.

when they move correctly. I've never, I've never thought of that. You never thought about that? I never thought about like the way this guy moves. Because sometimes when people fuck up and they go like, oh, shit and you go, oh, fuck. But when someone moves with such confidence that they go, can I have your arm, boom, damn, look over here.

Great, we're done. Good stage presence. Comfortable out there. Comfortable out there. This dude was so comfortable robbing me. Yeah. That guy was just like that. He wasn't the first.

It was almost like. He wasn't an open micer. No, no. And it was almost like he was trying to get home. Like he didn't even, like he really didn't even. He's just like, whatever, what DVDs you have? I got to look for money. I got to look for drugs.

And then he was gone. Well, it was probably like, it's probably like a dream robbery in the sense that, you know. Oh, no pushback. Yeah, there's no pushback. No pushback. I turn around. I put my hands up.

He was like, oh, this is. That's like having it when I was a waiter and someone would, you would immediately greet him and they'd just order like the double guacamole and patrone margaritas. Yeah. This is easy. I'm going to make 50 bucks off this table. You did like the textbook, what they tell you.

you to do when a cop pulls you over. Yes, sir. You put two hands on the wheel. You're like, let me turn on the lights on? I really did. I really, well, what happened, at first what happens, I put my hands up and he saw the gun

and he took the gun off me. And then what happens when I turned around and he hit me with the gun, I oversold it because it was like, Good one. Because it really, like, it gave me a little bump, but it didn't really like,

in the movies you see him get knocked out, it's not at all what happened. So then I went to the ground and he fucking, he zip tied me, and that's when I was like, I went, you're a pro. Yeah. I go, no, you've definitely done this before.

You're making me feel very secure in this robbery. And then he, not too tight, not too loose, just a perfect zip tie. Dude, and I say this and this is not happening, but it's true. I got white lady bitchy with him because I was laying there for so long and I was uncomfortable. The way that uncomfortability will make like a white person go, excuse me. Excuse me. That's what I was doing.

I was going like, hello? And he was like putting the gun on my head at first, being like, I'm going to fucking kill you. And then when he was like taking everything from my apartment, I was just like, um, can we hurry up? Yeah. This is not a good place for you. I was just laying on the carpet. But there was something about the way he zip tied you that you just knew that he wasn't going to kill you.

You're like, uh, he kept Myrtle. Don't interrupt the podcast. He kept asking where the drugs and the money were in a way that I went like, uh, I don't think he, like, you know what my thought was? This guy's more of a white collar criminal. This guy, yeah. I was going to say this guy, hey. I'm okay with him.

I'm a dog guy. All right. Some people you don't know. I got two. I'm like huge. Yeah. Yeah. And she wants to be the star.

Yeah. So if it feels like, if it's not, she'll just like come out and come sit right here and you go, what the fuck are you doing? Chris came to my house and he's met my dogs and goes, wow, your dogs are intimidating. Dude, they don't just bark, right? Dear, I got, I got, I got, big ones. That's the perfect apartment dog. Yeah. I got, yeah, I got like country dogs.

Yes. That's what you should have. Yeah. I got the ones you're not sure of. You're like, what, you know, you come to the door and they're like, so that's the ones where I go, okay. But this one, she's, I took her, I had to take her to the vet yesterday and I'm at the vet in this really old lady with like, you know, a nurse with her.

And she's got the walker and her dog is in like a basket in the walker. I'm going to cross the lobby. She goes, your dog has your beautiful face. And I go, oh yeah, thanks. She's really cute. And she goes, I'm serious. She's beautiful. she should be in a movie.

And I go, yeah, doesn't she seem like she'd be in a Disney movie as like a fun scamp? And she goes, she's not a scamp. She, like, got mad at me. She goes, she's not a scamp. It came over and, like, hold my dog to the point where I was like, all right, now this is too much. It was cute when you were standing over there, the fucking lady in the wall. You look like a ghost coming to touch my dog. I was like, don't get your weird, fucking stained hands.

You know what they have all that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little blotted sunblots. And you could see where the, and the black and blues from all the needles going is. She's like touching my dog's face. I'm like, all right, all right. But with dogs like yours, you go over there and you're like, yo, did I have this friend whose dog would just nonstop bark aggressively at you? But my friend in his family would just act like nothing was going on.

Did you ever have friends like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just like, the dog was just like, yeah, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, and then my my friend, Joey or his dad would go, shut the fuck up, Louie. And the dog's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're just like, and then his dad's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So how's football going? You're like, it's good.

Can you? Yeah. What are we going to do about that? But he's just barking at me? Barking gun. You go, this faster gun. That was another great Nate joke. He's like, why buy a gun?

You can buy a tiger. Yeah. People are about tigers. Yeah. It's funny, though, when you talk about the old people, like when they say stuff, like it's almost like the way life is bookended. You start out, you listen to what kids say. Kids say these sort of decouple things from reality.

And then you talk to old people. they say similar stuff, but it's like you could tell there was a life of experience. Yeah. Like there's just a little difference, but it's still kind of unrealistic. Like I remember this old person

is like, you should be a model. And you go, what is that? Yeah. What is that? I have you, I have one eye. You go, come on, dude. What are you? Come on.

You should be a model. That's like when a little kid sees a lady and he goes, are you an angel? That's an old person's version. Yeah, it's an old person's version. You should be in the movie. You go, shut up, you old child. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, there really is like, it is, it's all cyclical. It's all circle. Yeah, you go right back in diapers and right back to sort of fan. Your parents. I mean, you lost both your parents, but at the end, how child like they are. Oh, my God. Where they're just like, help me. Yeah, I need you to help me and you're like, take care of them.

Yeah. There's diapers involved. It's a whole situation. Get your daughters ready. Yeah. Get ready. Yeah. Because I'm going to be your child.

Good to have daughters for that situation. Oh, sons will be like. The sons are just like, yeah. Good luck, dude. I love. I love my mom, but you think I'm going to do? Yeah. Cons, Cull up, you good?

You're good? And then you go like, how's Rosalita? Yeah. And she goes, she's taking my stuff. And I go, Mom, don't do that. Sons get off the phone and they breathe. Oh, dude. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Girls get over there. I got to help. I got to create a system. She helped her mom out instantaneously. Her mom was going through something, and she's like, I'm going up to Boston. I just got to be there for my mom. And I was like, love that.

So commendable. my mom's like, I'm going through something. I go, well, I'm doing wise guys in Salt Lake City. Maybe I could squeeze you in. I can stop. I'm doing the fort in October in Fort Collins. I could drive down.

Would you still have it by October, do you think? You're absolutely right. You call the neighbors. Like, hey, you mind taking a peek? Hey, listen, I Venmo you a twop. You go over there. Yeah, what's your Venmo? That's 100% of suns deal with it.

Yeah, you might check it. I'm going to my mom. She's dying. We can't get the phone. We can't get the phone an answer. I don't know. Just like go pound on the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, everybody. Apps and money are like peanut butter and jelly now. No one carries cash. I found that out because I carry cash.

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When your parents go, this is the ugly reality of life, is when your parents go, and I speak from experience, you want it quick. You want a quick one. Yeah, I would. My friend calls me and goes like, my dad or mom had a heart attack and they drop. I just want to be like, you're lucky. There's a silver lining there.

Do both your parents hold on? They were, I mean, that's Greeks. The mind goes and the body just holds on. It's that Mediterranean diet. Yeah, it's just, that fucking bodies just keep going. They don't tell you it's a curse. You act like it's a gift. They go, eat oils, eat these fish.

And then you go, you sure? Yeah. You go, Omega-7s are going to keep her body going while her brain is applesauce. So good luck. No, they boat. My dad went 91, pretty much mentally attacked. That's great. My mom went 90, but the mind, yeah, the mind went like 20 years earlier.

And then it was just. What was the, like, how long before you knew it was going down before it happened? Well, when the mind goes, it's particularly torturous. because it starts out and you're going like, you're fucking with me, right? Yeah. You're going like... How old were you when that happened?

This was, this was, uh... You were in your 30s, early 30s. Yeah. Because that was like early 30s. That was just when we first started being friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That whole era was just trying to do comedy during that era was just like... That's when you're doing bar four too, right?

Yeah, all through that. Yeah. All through that was like, it started, yeah, for like 20 years. It was like a 20 year decline. But the first time it happens, you go like... First time, are you fucking with me? She's like, she'll say something again. that she'll ask or and then you just don't get it.

At first you just don't get it and you're like, versus when they're very old in their mind like your dad. Yeah. When they remember shit, then you go like, are you fucking with me in a different way? Yeah, yeah. My grandma was there mentally and then she would remember random ass shit

that I'd be like, oh, you're still sharp. Yeah. Or she'd like, you didn't even bring me that cheese. Yeah. You go, remember I said that? And you go, all right. It's weird you're like being a bitch about it, but sure.

I'll get you that cheese. Mary Lou. Yeah. But here's another thing. Just get your parents a good TV. What I've realized is the end of life is, I don't know what old people did before television. I think they just sat and stared.

That's why trees were in breezes. Yeah, tree and a breeze. They went, oh. But old people watch so much fucking TV. I mean so much TV. My grandma had the view on 89 volume, lifelong Republican. And that's what I got to hear,

Joy Behar fucking crap. through the guest room door. Oh, she was rage watching. I don't think so. You know, old people, especially from the greatest generation, whatever, those, the Great Depression babies, they had this thing where you're right, she was rage watching, but she wouldn't give me

the satisfaction of knowing she was rage watching. She just go like this, she says silly things. And you go, you hate her, don't you? And she go, no, I don't hate anybody. Foolishness. It's like stuff like that, where you'd be like, oh, yeah, you're fucking, that's not. We can act like that's a new thing with social.

media, that's been a thing. Oh, no. Also, another thing I liked, uh, somebody posted a while ago I saw this. They posted a picture where they juxtaposed, um, people on the train back in the day and people on the train now and everyone's like, it's so different now. Everyone just has a newspaper. It's like a hundred people on the train. Yeah. And everyone's just buried in the newspaper. Nobody's talk. They, they act like before social media. Everyone was like, hey, how are you doing? Where are you going? Yeah. Oh, hi, neighbor. Yeah. I heard a new great recipe at a local neighbor. what's your name? Yeah.

And everyone was introducing themselves. No, everyone was buried in their own shit. I used to bring a book with me on the subway. This is like 07. And I would be reading my book. But sometimes I would just zone out looking at my book. And it was something where my eyes were. Yeah.

So I just looked busy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't want to talk to anybody. Right. Nobody was like very, somebody starts talking you on a plane. Everyone acts like, we need to be more social. It's like. I've made that statement, but I'm wrong.

Yeah. Not necessarily. You do it and you go, what the fuck? If I do it, yeah. Oh, when someone's, when someone's inquisitive on a plane, yeah. Stop. Yeah.

Stop. I even, you know, I was, because then you're locked in. What was your thing to get out of conversations? The worst thing that ever happened to me was being on a plane and sitting next to someone who knew who I was. That was the worst thing ever. Can I tell you?

I've been, because usually you want to get the, hey, I love your stuff and then it's over, but then, hey, I love your stuff. And then, okay, we're, still here for fucking six hours? I've been on the other side of that. Yeah. I sat next to Samoa Joe, who's a famous wrestler, and man, oh man.

You let him know? Was I like, like, it was just having a quiet ride. And I'm like, what? Joe hates you. Yeah. And I was just waiting for a moment to be like, man, you're in a honor run with it was unbelievable and I could talk to you about it forever. But I, so there were moments where I go, oh, man, I, yeah, I got to give this guy some peace.

Let's go to your kettle of it. You're being a problem. It ended up being fine, but it's like when I accepted what it like, I was like, I was like, all right, we're going to be more than just, our relationship's going to change now. Yeah. And I'm just accepting it. You're going to know more about me and I'm going to know more about you. I feel, I wish there was like some sort of clause in that social contractor.

I could go, you want me to tell you the worst thing about all your favorite people? Do you want to know the real shit? Do you want to make this valuable? Yeah. Who do you like? Let me take them down a pay. That's almost where I would. get where I go, I don't want to talk about me.

I want to talk about people I know that I have dirt on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, what's funny is like, I will, uh, when I talk to people like that and they bring up a comic who has, who's comedy I don't like, I immediately have to be like, ha ha. Yeah, he's great. You can't yes and that? He's great. Oh, I yes and that to death.

You do. I yes and it. Yeah. No, man. There's usually a pause. And they're like, they say that per. I really, I'm like, yeah. I love that too.

I go, you do? Yeah. That's usually what I do. You can't, you can't lie. The immediate response is usually you do. And then if they go, I love them. And I don't have a problem with that guy, but there was, there was one, I don't know if I'll say this guy, this comic's name. But I was at a friend's house and my friend's family was there.

His wife's cousin and her husband were there. And we're just like hanging out. And it's clear the wife's husband knows comedy or a loose knowledge of it. And he's trying to let me know that he knows that I'm a comic. And that he knows. And so he's like sitting there and his wife was pregnant. And he's like, yeah, roasted her last week. And I went, oh, yeah?

And he went, got her. And I was like, what do you say? And he said the thing. And I went, oh, cool, man. And then he was like, and then he kept bringing it up. And finally I went, how much did you pay for those tickets? And he said, and I went like that. Like I was like, I didn't want it.

But I was just like, dude, stop hammering me over the head with this. I'm not going to give you what you want. I don't know what you want me to do in this situation. Well, yeah, I mean, he was like, cool, you went to the show. That's awesome. You had an experience. Yeah. Well, maybe there's a correlation between taste of comedy and being able to pick up social clues.

That's also a thing. You're like, that makes sense. Have you ever had someone? That makes sense. Have you ever had? There was a, this made me think, there was a comic from Chicago that stayed with Vecchio. and I one time. Beckion said yes.

And then he came home and goes, hey, this guy, who I knew, needs a place to stay, this date and this date. And I went, and you set our apartment? And he goes, I did. And this was like just fresh out of waiting tables, so I'm doing comedy, but I still have to do other stuff to make money, you know? And this guy stayed on our couch and lacked any, any ability to pick up social cues. Those guys are a handful.

Yeah. Dude, even telling you right now is making my blood start to fucking boil. Yeah. To the point that I paused the TV and I went, what's up? What do you got? I was about to say it makes you do that at a certain point. You just. And I didn't want it.

You go like, you didn't pick up this, this, this and this. So now I have to make it uncomfortable. And I'll tell you what it was. 30 Rock was still on the air. And every time there was a new episode, I'd DVR it. And I get, it's one of my favorite shows of all time. even while it was running on TV on NBC. I fucking love 30 Rock.

I got excited about new episodes. I went to Neptune Diner. I got a nice... Rest in peace. Rest RIP to a legendary diner. I got a nice little lunch. I brought it home. I had everything.

This guy comes in the door because he's staying with us. I go, oh, yeah, just going to eat my lunch and watch 30 Rock. He just doesn't stop talking. And I go, that's crazy. Well, I'll eat my lunch and watch 30 Rock, but you can watch it with me. And he's like, doesn't stop. talking and I go ah but I do those things I just want to watch this episode real quick we can talk about this after I'm gonna eat my lunch and watch this and then we can talk about it

doesn't stop and I'm and I just I start it then I put the volume up as high as possible to be like oh yeah it's crazy volume is pinned he's still not stopping and I pause and I go then what are we going to talk about still did or get it you took a gun shot him and he's like still anyway Oh, so did you see that thing? And by the way, you know the rule. If you come see me live and you ask who this person is, I will tell you. But it was crazy.

I like that rule. Yeah. I'm not going to fucking. It's going to stay here. Yeah. And if I say, if I DM it to you or I tell you online, you're just going to screen grab that. And there's proof. But we're live at a show.

Yeah. I'll pat you down. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'll go, yeah, I'll tell you. Yeah. You say that now until shit gets crazy. And then you're going to be like,

everybody's got their phone in their bag. I can't tell you the secret of who I hate because you got your phone on you. Yeah, I mean, it does ruin a lot. It does feel like secrecy or just like kind of talking shit. Yeah. Yeah, that part is that the privacy, secrecy. The privacy of context, you know, its context is gone. Everyone acts like they know people because they saw a clip or you're defined by.

your public person. It's this whole thing. It's crazy. Do you probably, you probably get this of fans that send you joke ideas and you go, what is this? I am way past that. Really? Like looking.

I don't, I'm way back. I haven't done it in a while, but when it started happening was at the end of me looking. Yeah. And that was one of the reasons I walked away from looking. Yeah. Because they were like,

dude, you know what you should do? Yeah. You should say. And you go, what? Yeah. It's like crazy.

You know what it made me think of is messaging like Queens of the Stone Age and be like, did you guys ever do a song about, you could do a song about this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go, why would you ever do that? Yeah.

But there is this like. It's like messaging Warren Buffett with a stock ticket. Yeah. Where you go, you get this right? I got an idea that will turn around for you, Warren. Hey, yeah. Hey, buddy, I know you drive that old beat up

piece of shit. Well, here's an idea. But I do think it's like a gift and a curse that you are as connected. You know what I mean? Yeah. But also the curses that you get those people. Because I've had people that have written me been like,

yo, dude, I'm trying to quit drinking. What's the book? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And immediately I'll be like, yeah, this is the book. It's fucking helps. Well, that's society. It's the same, it's the same pattern. That's what it is.

It's like why we have to get patted down at the airport. We have to adjust society for the worst. For us. Of us. Yeah, because the best of us. Yeah. It's like it could be a great thing. It could be the greatest thing.

You message, you know, you message your favorite comedian. and you say something heartfelt and you get a response. Yeah. 99 out of 100 people would love that. It's the one guy who for whatever reason wants to fuck it up or makes it so, you know. Or he goes, hey, I'm about to message you every day for the rest of our lives. Yeah. I mean, that's crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're right. It is, it's like, people like that don't make sense. They don't listen to sense. It's just what it is. It's how society is. Yeah, you're right. Because I remember before social media, there was a lady at the comedy cell.

And that's unavoidable. It just will always happen. It'll always happen. People will always ruin any system, anything. It just is inevitable. So the comedy seller is great because you're there and you like see comics and go up to the olive tree and a lot of times they're there. And one time Chris Rock was there and this lady was like pretty drunk.

And Chris Rock was being super nice. And she was like, it's, dude, this is wild. This was, I was still drinking. So it had to be before 2013. It was probably like 2011, 2010. And Chris Rock is at the seller and this lady's like, my son is such a big fan of years. He just graduated. high school. And Chris Rock's like, that's incredible. Congratulations to him. And she goes, would you

leave him a message? Would you leave him a message? And he goes, there we go. And he goes, it gets crazy. Yeah. And he goes, yeah, sure, man. That's great. Hey, you know, hey, it's Chris Rock. I heard you graduated in high school. Congratulations. Now you're going to be broke. He like made a joke at the end. He tagged it with a joke. And you're like, that's great. And he goes, there you go. And she goes, oh, great. No, it didn't say. Can you do it again? Dude, he did it again. And then she tried for a third. And I remember collectively the table of comments went, oh. And she was like still not even aware that that was asking so much that you're like,

dude, he did it twice. Yeah. And you're like, nah, this isn't good enough. Yeah. And that's not even that bad of one. That's not even that bad of one. They could get much worse than that. Yeah.

Yeah. I remember I was opening for Burr years ago and he didn't go out and he told me the reason why he was just one person, one time that just said something like, fucked up and he was just like fuck it he was at the point where he didn't need to anyway yeah but apparently he was going out afterwards and saying i remember that people i remember watching fuck it i'm not doing it anymore when we used to go watch him at carolines one time we were out at the bar and i watched him like walk away from a drunk lady that was like circling the table being like come here and he was like leave me alone lady yeah but he wasn't being like burr funny yeah he's being

like seriously get the fuck away from me and it was just like this table and I was like sitting there drinking a beer like that's horrible yeah that looks horrible it's crazy because it's like 99 out of 100 would be will be amazing dude I had a great it's just that one I had a great one at bananas in back rooms in Hasbrook heights back when they used to take out the oster tag and tape it back up every weekend yeah and then they're or they put the bananas around the thing it's fucking a cut out banana cut out banana and then they'd go buy real bananas and put it around the stage and you're like you're wasting money on these bananas and is but one night you know remember it was in like the it's in like the conference room yeah yeah well one

night I show up and uh Justin Silver was hosting or featured for me so he'll tell you about this because this is 100% a real story I go in we do Friday night two shows great show up Saturday for two shows this guy meets me at the door of the hotel he goes so there was a kinsenegro booked in the main room we're going to put you in the side room and I'm in the side room that's like long and thin right? So you got to like go like this. And the late show wasn't great. And I keep joking around. I'm like, guys, you guys have to laugh because we're in the room where they keep the chairs.

I was like, you have to laugh. You have to make me feel better. I'm going to myself in this hotel. I was like, if I hear the thump of a pit bull base from that Kinseniera, if I hear a pit bull song coming through the wall, I might mash up everybody. I keep making those jokes. And this is like early days of bonfire.

So this is like maybe 2015, 2016, And so it's like we're starting to get fans. You know what it is? Like they start showing up and you're like, oh fuck, people are like coming out. Yeah. There was a drunk lady. She had a fake eye lash that was half off.

That's what I remember. Like I remember. It's on brand for that hotel in that area. Yeah. And Jersey. Yeah. Just being like, right. And I was,

and this is when I used to stand and greet people outside like a politician. Yeah. Where you go like, thank you for coming. Yeah. Thank you for coming. This is your husband. Thank you for coming. You bought the time.

tickets. Thank you so much. Man, so I'm doing that. And then this drunk lady with fucking half a fake eyelash is just standing there. And she goes, is this really the room where they keep the chance? And you go, oh, I don't know. I was just joking around. She goes, why are you in this small room? She's just talking shit to me as I'm doing this procession. And then she's like, and back then we didn't have merch on the bonfire. So people would make their own shirts. And that was the one that snapped me because people were like, dude, check out the shirt. I was like, dude, it's fucking awesome and this fucking lady goes why would they make a shirt for you like that and he's turned her i go who the fuck are you yeah who the and her face was like and she goes well now i'm not a fan

and you go i don't want you as a fan right leave oh dude it was wild yeah i like blew up on it yeah i blew up on her i just sit in the parking lot for like 15 minutes because i was like you what the fuck dude she was just standing there but then now that i'm older how funny is she yeah she was just standing there while I was greeting fans going, you ain't shit. You ain't fucking shit half her eyelash hanging off. Her friend was like, let's go. She's like, now fuck this guy.

I want to tell him these stinks. Couldn't even sell tickets. There's so many scenarios that when you're like going through the experience of being a comic that you do that when you get to a point, you realize you don't have to do. Yes. And you're like, it's like a. It's like a stripper not fucking the manager of the club.

She goes, you know, I don't have to blow veto? You go, no, you don't have to blow veto. She goes, you said, I got a better stage if I think this. Like, no, honey. He's just the fucking scumbag. Another one is when you invite people, like, or people come out and see you. Like, you go to a city and there's, like, cousins or friends in that city. And then they text you.

They're texting you from the seats. Like, they're testing. And you're responding to them before you go. And then they go, are you coming? We want to see you. And then you're like, they come into the green room and then they don't fucking leave. And then you just realize, you don't have to respond. You don't have to do it.

And then when they text you later, go, oh, sorry, man. Just saw this. Yeah, just saw this. The just saw this. Yeah. Brother. Just saw this. Two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago, Stanford, Connecticut, New York Comedy Club. Yeah. Love that club. It's a great club. Great club. Four out of the five shows, fucking ripped. I'm doing half old, half new, trying to get this new hour together. Loved every, every, dude, Greg Stone's feature.

for me. Every time it gets off stage, he's like, crowd's fucking fantastic. I have a friend that I waited tables with, my friend Jamie, she's like,

I got tickets. I'm coming to see you. And, you know, it's Tuesday energy is different than Saturday Late Show energy. Tuesday energy, I'm like, you better say hi.

You better say hi. When I tell you that that crowd Saturday late wasn't there, whatever it was, we were just oil and water on that show. I mean,

drug alcohol tired it's just yeah i don't know it wasn't good and it's so funny because the mc and gregg both tried to do that thing where they don't give it away that the crowd sucks where they went they're all right they're getting there you're getting there yeah warming up it's always warming up they're going to be great for you yeah they're going to be great for you yeah i got hit with that both from the mc and greg i go up there immediately you're like we're not connecting this crowd there was like super big fans of the race and So, like, Legion of Skanks fans, who I love, again, 99 out of 100, fucking phenomenal. But sometimes guys know too much from podcasts.

So when they're watching your stand-up, they're like, that's not real. That's real. And you go, like, I need you to suspend disbelief for a second. Because we're trying to write jokes right here. But these guys are like, you know, in hoodies, the whole, in the front road, just looking like this. And then it's not their fault. It's not their fault that I have a mental illness that makes me in my head go, you're bombing.

Yeah. You suck. Also, I know Jamie's there. Yeah. Also, I know all this stuff is happening. Well,

that's just the negativity bias. It's like everyone does that. It's like if one person's not laughing, you just boom. If there's one negative comment, you go, boom. It's just,

that's a built-in cognitive bias we all have. Yeah. You just end up fucking focusing. So I'm just trudging. Yeah. You just see your daddy's face on them. I'm going, smile.

No, I see the back of his head. I see the back of his head leaving. Yeah. It's just, we just project. get on to them. And so I like,

get through the set or whatever. I've never bombed. I love the way you, that's exactly what it feels. Yeah. Get through the set. Some shows you just get through the set. You're just holding on like a fucking heavyweight box and you're like,

duh, you separate and go, and I was just holding on. But I've never had it to where I've bombed. Now, granted, if you were at the show, you're probably like you didn't bomb but you we know what you're saying we know when you bomb louis said that on howard stern years ago and i've never like related more where he goes i will bomb and you will not know it

yeah but i'm bombing yeah i bombed yeah i did not have a good show well that's another thing you learn is like you don't have if you're bombing don't tell you think yeah don't tell them because they don't know they don't know they don't know yeah so i just held on what you don't uh i held on i've never had it to where i've bombed on a show and then bombed socially because she came back with like her husband, who I don't know, and like five of their friends, and I just didn't have it in the green room. I fucking bombed, dude.

I was like trying to talk. At one point, I'm legitimately, this is how bad of a bomb it was. At one point, there's two couples that are talking, right? And I'm talking to her and her husband, and then there's like two couples talking, and they say something. And I'm legitimately asking this question, this guy and this girl,

I go, are you guys married? And they go, ah, they thought you were gay. They thought you were saying you guys are married. And I went, ha, ha, ha, I just went with it. That's not what I meant at all. I was actually talking about the man and the woman. But I was just bombing so bad socially. Yeah.

And I kept being like, it's crazy. Yeah, shows, this is a good club. This is good club. You just say all the same things. It's like, you've been knocked out before, right? Yes, yes. When you get knocked out. Yeah.

And you don't, you don't know what's going. going on. You wake up and you start asking the same questions. When I busted my face open on my 21st birthday, I kept going, what happened? What happened? I kept saying that. That's what it was like in the green room where I got knocked out by that audience. And then they came back and I go, this is hot out.

Is it a hot out? The moment going from unconscious to conscious is one of the funniest moments. Did I tell this story on this podcast? I don't know. The two-ray story? Did I ever tell the two-ray story? we can go back and look at it but I don't think you did it's one of the funny it's something that only I experienced and you know you have those moments where something so funny yeah and you know

it's only ever going to be you who witnessed it but you wish somebody else could have been there and then when you try to tell it it was so funny that there's no way it's like it's not possible yeah well first off shout out too right go-niners yeah huge 49er fan so we were at Philadelphia legend this is when Nate did new faces and me and Jesse came. Yes. And just stayed with them in 2008. We stayed with them and they got, and Ture and him were like just became drinking buddies

and buddies. And so they came back to the apartment hammered. Hammered. And you guys were staying at that tri-long place that we stayed at, right? So we go to sleep and then I was going out to meet a girl. I was going out to meet a girl staying at another place. And so I wake Nate up and I'm like, hey man, like I'm going to go out with this girl. He's like drunk.

I'm like, I just need to. Did I know this story, but honestly, I have not heard this story in 16 years. Yeah, this is a good one. So it was literally, I'm trying to think of something funnier that I've seen. So I go and I get the key. You remember it a little bit now? I know exactly the punchline, man. So you're right, it is one of the funniest things.

I mean, I wish someone was there. So I get the key. He's like, it's in my pants or whatever. It's in my bedroom. So I go into his bedroom because he's like a fucking pass out on the car. Sure. Ray is a sleet on the bottom of the bed like this. And he's like a 6-3 black guy.

No, he's like 6-6. He's a huge guy. He's bigger than me and I'm 6-3. So it looks like he was just so hammered that he just passed out at the bottom of the bed, curled up in the fetal position. That's an old-school comedy festival drinking. There's an ironing board out

because Nate always ironses his t-shirt or whatever. And so I'm like rumbling through his pants to find the keys. I pick up the keys. I look over at Turei, I see him wake up, like out of just straight out. He pulls the ironing board forward. He puts his hands on. And he's like, yeah, yeah.

So we were talking about this album deal. You know what I mean? Like you're going to take 40% or 60% because me and my boys really grinded on this album deal. And I went, what? And he went, uh, he was dreaming. That's so funny. Black people dream black. They hustle.

That's what I learned that black people dream black. Black people have hustle dreams. He was having a dream about getting a rap deal. He goes, okay, but I get that. You know what I mean? Whatever, whatever. We're working that out. I got the masters.

You go, I don't think you own that. Dude, that is one of the fun. Coming to and having conversations is, if you ever get to see it, is so funny. It's like sleep talking. Yeah, yeah. Where people wake up and they just go, what are you talking about? He was, it was his dream. And he was like, and then he was.

just in it. And for a moment, he was just talking to some record exam. Have you ever done that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever been caught doing it? Yeah. Because the embarrassment, you know they say don't wake up a sleepwalker? It's because they're going to be so embarrassed.

My friend, when I was in my freshman year of college, my mom made me keep my car, because she knew I was going to drink a lot of college. She made me keep my car in her house, right? So when I'd go back to Colorado, I'd have my car, but it was in my mom's house. My friend Dennis had a party. His mom was gone. everyone's back from college. It's like winter break.

I drank seven and sevens. I was drinking seagrams and seven up. And I drank half of a 175 by myself. So like half of a handle. I'm fucking a... Wait, what's a handle? You know, like the big dog. Is that what they call?

Is that the jargon? What's a 175? Yeah, it's like a gallon. It's over a gallon. It's like 1.75 gallons. I love how you're looking at the Irish guy. Well, we know. That's our shorthand.

Yeah. I can't talk to a Greek about it. I'm not asking about feta. I'm not asking about wine that comes out of a thousand-year-old pot. I'm asking about a plastic jug of four-rose whiskey. It was like you were speaking. I didn't know any of those. Yeah, you were like, I was drinking a 175, and then I had was bottoms up and then I took a handle.

I was like, what? I go, how you say, 175? So I'm drinking jargon. Yeah, I was drinking a lot. Yeah. It's a lot. Yeah. It's a large amount of alcohol.

And I remember our buddy, Jill, I ran out of, cigarettes. And Jill was like, I'll take you know, she was like, I don't got a car, but I haven't been drinking. And I was like, you're driving my car. My car's here. And she's like, all right, she drives to get cigarettes. We're driving back.

And I, I'm about to throw up. And she's like, well, we're almost here. And I, as she's driving, I roll the window down. And I throw up all down the side of my car, all over my arm. Because my arm's hanging out the window. And I'm like, and I just throw up. But it's a house party. It's a giant house party.

So I take my shirt off. I have a 49ers coat in my trunk, a zip-up starter. I take my whole shirt off and I just put a zip-up starter jacket on. And I'm just so fucked up. I go in the house. I go to his basement. Like Toure, I just curl up on one part of the couch. Lights off.

I'm out. His little brother, his room was downstairs. So his little brother like comes downstairs and opens the basement door. And I don't remember this. But I just sit up and I go, hey man, I was just checking and make sure all your lights were working or whatever and he goes what the fuck are you talking about and then I just went right back to it and then the next time I saw Justin he was like what are you talking about and I was like I don't even know I don't even know what that means you just wanted to make sure all the lights were working

but I was like but you don't remember it yeah getting knocked out the same thing yeah I remember my old show I was interviewing Chris Wyden the MMA fire yeah when he beat he's friends with his wife oh yeah yeah yeah He's a great guy. He's a family friend. He's from Long Island, right? He's a Long Island guy. So I was interviewing him, and we were talking about that Anderson Silva when he knocked

out Anderson Silva. And if you watch it, like, I was asking him like, did you watch it and like laugh at how funny? Because if you watch it, the same thing happens. He knocks him out. And then Anderson Silva starts grabbing the referee's leg. That's always the, dude, those, you have knockouts, UFC knockouts, or boxing, where you see him talk to the ref? Yeah.

You ever see those videos they make where, you ever see the videos where they make where someone gets knocked out and they like throw a guitar, like whatever position it. Dude, I mean, the thing that really made me nervous at first and then we laughed about it.

I mean, it's not really even, it's a traumatic brain injury, but it was when my buddy was the head coach, when McDaniel was the head coach of the Dolphins, Tua got knocked out and he started throwing gang signs. Like on the thing where I had to call my friend

and I go, yo, he was definitely throwing those gang signs, right? He was like, but it was wild. He got knocked out and his fingers were just like.

Yeah. Yeah. Because, like, all your social conventions are gone. All your defenses are got. Like, it would be funny if somebody ever gets knocked out and they just get up and they start doing like that gay Crip Walk. Yeah. And you're like, I don't know what was going.

And then they come back. What the fucking. Yeah, they just think of that's that thing. Which I call the gay Crip Walk. It also was one of the things where it's something you do when you're drunk and you don't want people to know you're drunk. You go back to like an old social thing where you go like, oh, check out the weather today.

Yeah. And they go, how drunk are you? That was always the worst. Yeah. Was when someone would, you and Nate were the two best at spotting me when I was way hammered and no one else could tell. But you, because you could, you, I can hold my shit. You could hold your shit. Yeah.

Nate would fucking fall apart. Nate was God, dude, Nate did a, Nate hit a phase where he wanted to lose weight. So he went from drinking beer to drinking vodka sodas. And it's just like he thought, dude, it just like, he, it took. him a while. That would be a funny sketch, like the Alcoholics Weight Loss Program. Dude, it was like,

no more beer, straight vodka. But he, I remember this, like it was fucking yesterday. Gary Veter used to have the show at the Irish exit, 51st and second,

that bar. We were at Caroline's, 49th in Broadway. We're drinking downstairs. Nate's having vodka sodas. He's on the show. I'm drinking because that's what I do too. And we're getting hammered.

And they were like, it was like a Tuesday. He goes, go to Vieter's show and we're like that's awesome so we're walking like on 49th like 49th and 6 kind of like by serious Nate's hammered he's in the front with like Graham K and a couple other people and like me and we're talking and then Nate kind of drifts to the back as we're walking and Nate thinks he's and this he's just this old black woman is just walking next to Nate and Nate's like I mean this is crazy oh and he looks like I didn't know how it was talking he was the most

pleasant interaction I've ever watched the stranger. She goes, oh, I was just going to keep letting you talk. And he goes, well, I hope you had a good one. It was so funny watching them. Because he was just like, yeah, oh, hey. You had no idea where he was. You were tough to tell. It was like, you had to look

at subtle signs. Nate could tell better than anybody. Nate could go like this. You're drunk as hell. I called him one time from Chicago. And he goes, how drunk are you? I go, how do you know that? He goes, you slur a little bit. Wow, that's impressive that he picked it up just from voice. A phone call. Yeah. He could tell better than anybody.

But yeah, do you know what's funny is I just was in, I just did just for laughs. Oh, you went up to that? Yeah, just did two shows. Is it still like feel the same?

Yeah. It's like, it's like after you see all the background of Disneyland. Yeah. And then you go and you go, yeah, it's nice, but like I know what

it's actually going on here. It's like going to Dresden after the bombing. Like, it's still Dresden. It's still, you still could take your breath away, but not the way you want it to.

No, the shows were fucking phenomenal. The two shows I did on Saturday night were great, But I kept thinking of something that you said to me 15 years ago. Because we did Montreal the same year. You did new faces. And me and Laker did no faces.

Is that 11 or 10? 11? It was 2011. So it was 15 years ago. I got fucking blackout. I had a good night. My last night of the festival, I did really well on the unrept.

And I got blackout. Was it the last night of the festival that show? Saturday night. Yeah. And you and Jesse were driving back to New York. Oh, we drove together. Yeah. I took a Greyhound with Laker up because you were up there early.

Take a great. And then. It's so nice coming into the lobby here. It's like, that's a moment where you could go, yeah. Yeah. I did okay. I did all right. I used to have to take a Greyhound to Montreal.

Yeah. And I took the Greyhound up there, blackout, blackout every night. And then Saturday night I had like, you know, they did like the unrepped festival. And I got a lawyer. And I remember just being like texting my friends back in Denver being like, my lawyer, I'll talk to you. And they're like, what are you talking about? I got a fucking lawyer. But you drove back and I got drunk.

And I don't know if you remember this, but I was fucking hurting on Sunday. Did you smoke weed or a little bit? Smoke weed. Then I drank a six pack of Molson before we got on the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember that? I do remember. I fucking, I mean, I.

And we were listening to like old school rap. Yeah, yeah. But I ripped through a six pack of Molson. And I was pretty, fucking, I was feeling no pain at the beginning of that drive. But then it all went to shit. It's like an eight hour drive, however long. It was long. But I was kept thinking about on the flight home on Sunday morning, I was fine.

I flew out at like 7 a.m. So I was like, yeah, whatever, it barely got any sleep, but I'm fine. And I kept thinking of your voice going. You were looking in the rear view while you're driving and you go, you'll be all right, as long as you stop drinking. And you just kept saying that. And like, Janus is one of, you should always, you should have a friend. that grew up in Brooklyn in the 80s

because it's, let me amend that statement to say, you should have a friend that grew up in a war zone because they will tell you the truth even when the truth is like. Well, I've lost a few friends because I tell the,

you know, I like to, yeah. But for someone, if you appreciate that skill, yeah, it's fantastic. Because you said that and I was like, I think he's right. Yeah, this,

it was going to go one of two ways with you. Yeah, you're going to be like, hey, this guy's got a lot of talent, he's either going to get really good or he's going to fuck it. Yeah. And I was getting...

Be a drinker. Yeah. But it was just like, I kept thinking about that Saturday on the way of the airport. I kept being like, Yonis being like, he's got it all.

He's just gotta quit drinking. And I remember being like, shut the fuck off at the moment. Yeah, yeah, because I knew you're right. Yeah. Do you know what's funny is the, the millennial generation now,

or like, no, the Gen Z, they don't even drink. Alcohol sales are down 50%. My buddy works for... It's crazy. My buddy works for Tito's vodka. He's like,

you know, pretty, does well there and he's like it's a drop off yeah did you know what they do now crazy draw i mean you know what they do now you know what they do now and i don't want to do one of those things where i'm like i'm an older guy and i'm like these young kids are pussies but you know what they do now you're microdosing right no it makes so much sense it's so much more sensible good job young people they take a 10 milligram edible they drink two celtzers and they go feel pretty good yeah this you probably stop right there.

Yeah. Meanwhile, older millennials were like, how can I break this machine? Yeah. I'm going to pour so much booze in this. I just want to test my limits. Like, and we used to, yeah, I mean, it was like, I mean, every generation before us. Every generation before was just like, man, we drank. We drank till we got sick.

I remember being in high school just like hugging toilets at night, just throwing up tequila. It's the 20th anniversary. Yeah, that's not great. It's the 20th anniversary. Trying to fuck and you're like holding your. dick and oh my god and making you're trying to guide it in train you go training wheels this was always

the line yeah it's just so beautiful yeah sloppily kissing her he's just so beautiful beautiful you know what dude the amount of promises I made to women tomorrow morning I'm gonna fuck the shit

wait and then you know what you do you wake up and because you would have sex but it lasts so fast because you're feeling again you're like oh whoa oh my god But it really was like a thing of like, oh, I'm just going to puke. I feel like there are still young people that do that. But most young people are like...

50% is a dramatic drop. That's a dramatic drop. That's a dramatic drop. It's what happened to cigarettes. Yeah, exactly. Cigarette, they went like, also people like me who grew up with alcoholic parents, one of whom was all right, but one of them who died. Because like back to your parents dying, when you see your dad, I mean, I didn't see him a lot,

but the last time I saw him, he had cirrhosis. And I was like, you. And then he died. He kind of go, well, that's the final result of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like with your parents. Yeah. Keep your mind healthy is what I would say.

That's exactly it. Exercise your mind as much as your body. But then there's kids who were like whose parents died of lung cancer. And they're like, don't smoke. Don't smoke around me. How many times I heard that when I was sorry, I lost my mom to lung cancer. And you go, oh, well, I would understand why you don't like smoking cigarettes. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. But it really is. Now kids are like, I'm not drinking. My parents' marriage got destroyed because my dad or mom was an alcoholic. Yeah. They wised up a little bit in that way. That's what it is. You just wonder if they, you wonder if they come back.

You wonder if there's a moment where, like, young people go. I don't think, because it's like cigarettes, I think you, I think it's similar. Cigarettes are coming back. They're coming back. They're coming back. People are smoking again? Dude in a fucking big way. Wow.

And I'll tell you, as someone that wants to come back, I notice it more. Yeah. But young, young people are smoking. Young people. like 18, 19 year olds are out here ripping butts. Wow. You can tell because they don't know how to hold it. Yeah.

That's what bugs me. No, they don't know how to hold the cigarette. Oh, they're just like, are they holding it like Germans in the Indiana Jones movie? Where they go. They hold it like a, like a camel hoof? Yeah, where they go, nothing pissed me off more than people bumming a cigarette and you could tell they weren't smokers.

Mm-hmm. Where they go, and you go. Yeah, they're just drunk and they want one. You got don't do that. Yeah. And then it became when they were so expensive someone would, would just bum a cigarette and you'd be like, dude, it's going to cost you $2.

You know what my method was? Or at least sing, do something for me. My method at the end of smoking was if you offer me money, I'll give you one. Yeah. That'd be, hey, can I buy a cigarette off you? I'll go, there you go. Because it shows you're respected.

Yeah. You know, I paid for, you know I paid 1325. Yeah. For this pack. I remember they got up to 20 or something. Yeah, I think they're up there right now. They're like 1825 when I looked because I look. That might, that might change the addiction.

where it's like, it's like that Chappelle joke with bullets. It's like, you make them expensive. Oh, no, Chris Rock. Chris Rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, make each bullet $25,000. Yeah, you make cigarettes $100. I'm going to kill you.

Yeah. I'm going to save up. They better not do bullets on layaway. It's like, I'm just, I don't have enough money to be addicted. Yeah. And by the way, they were so cheap back in the day. That's why they gave them the soldiers and everybody because they're like, there you go.

Yeah. Hey. Yeah. It's population control. Yeah. It really is. You need. Well, for soldiers you need.

I would need to smoke. It just lets you know that truth is very contextual. If you're a soldier, it's like, are drugs illegal? No. Are you going to go, hey, man, go out and kill these people, but make sure you're sober when you do it. Also, I need you to feel. I need you to process all of this.

Or you go, I don't know, let them get a little violent. Give them those mushrooms that Vikings used to take that would make them go berserker mode. Yeah. Like, give them something where you go, hey, buddy. Listen, I understand you're just doing this so you can have income and, like, safety. Yeah.

You're some mushrooms. Yeah. They're going to let you loose on the people of Iran. Yeah, which also makes you think, like, throughout history, probably every army was on something. Dude, I think every single army had to be on something. Especially the more I... Imagine just fucking raw dog and murder?

Raw dog and deed A? Raw dog and D-Day? You're your raw dog and D-Day where they just opened the thing? I'm good. You don't want to hit him my flasker? No, I'm going to do this. Yeah, yeah. I need to do this.

You turn to the guy who's like, you're still drinking? It's not. for my health. You know, I was really ruining my family. You know what? It just, I was, it was making my inflammation real bad. And he goes, cool. So they have machine gun turrets on the top of all these hills. Yeah, as soon as we open this door, there's a 97% chance. The first six lines of us are gone. And best case scenario, you survive all this. Some, uh, guy named Steven Spielberg's going to make a movie that brings you right back to it. I always thought that was like, they were like bragging about saving Private Ryan.

They're like, it's so realistic. You go, don't show it to World War II victims. That's crazy. That's like they're going to do an Epstein movie in 20 years. And they go, they show him. And you go, no. I brought my dad to Hamburger Hill when we got back from summer camp. This was me and my friend.

Yeah. And my dad's a war veteran. And, you know, he used to take us to the movies. And so we took him to Hamburger Hill. He didn't know what the movie was. And my dad lost it in the movie. he lost it. Yes.

He lost it. He started cursing. Really? Oh, yeah, there's a whole thing. I told the story on Rogan. It's basically he just lost. He just started cursing at us. Yeah.

Yelling in the movie theater. You know, it was a packed movie theater. Sure. And then he walked out. And then when we got in the car, he was still gone. So he starts driving and he's turning around yelling at us. And we were like nine or whatever. And he's like, how would you like it if fucking Yanni died in your arms?

Yonat my friend. My friend is crying. Jesus. He's like, how would you like it if your friend died? What kind of fucking shit did you bring me to? Fucking yelling, yelling, yelling. And my friend is crying. And then there's complete silence.

There's just complete silence. And all I hear is my friend like, he's just doing that post cry. And then my dad just turns around calmly. After he was swerving all over the plate, lost it. He turns around, he goes, you guys want to get some pizza?

So funny. Him doing the look back you did in the rear view? He goes, you guys feel like pizza? Yeah, you guys are just calming. After he's like, Giro, like the fucking hell I went through. It was really my, it was crazy.

Yeah, I mean, there was, it happened a few times. One time we were walking on, we were on the, we were on the upper west side, and a car,

uh, tire popped. Like someone got a flat and it popped. And he fucking crawled under the car. Yeah, dude, that's very real. That was crazy. And then you look at his eyes and there was,

he's there. He's there. He's there. He's there. He's there. No, no. He was like, a weird look.

And when you're a kid, you're, it's a weird you know do you think i don't know if this is a stretch or not do you think your dad's PTSD from war helps you get ready for when he was old and he died because you kind of like watched him being like vulnerable in a state no i think it uh i think i it's like i think you know they've done studies on this too i think it kind of you take some of it yeah i think it you get when you're raised with those disregulated nervous systems sure people who are in surveillance survival mode, I think it gets on you a little bit.

Yeah. I had to like therapy to understand all of it. Like both my parents, my mother lived through German Nazi occupation as a little girl. And then, and then he actually, there was another time. This was, this was the weirdest one. The weirdest one was we were in D.C. We went into a liquor store where my brother lived. And it was owned by Koreans.

Sure. Or like Chinese or whatever they're Asian. And I'm no phenotype. You know how it is. You get what I'm saying. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

I don't even think they know to be. honestly you know when they get mad at us it's like I don't even think they know it turns out from Laos yeah like Malaysian yeah so we're standing online and my dad starts looking at the woman right and he's like this right and he starts and he's just he has this somber look on his face to the point where she was like glancing up at him and like she noticed it was like this kind of like he was almost asking for forgiveness it was the weirdest and he was gone he was just like in his own world and I was just watching him to the point where it made the woman so uncomfortable.

She goes, sir, I forgive you. And he snapped out of it. Like, yeah, like he was doing something for her to know. She noticed that. She felt it. Sir, I forgive you. He was like staring at her with this look. To say, sir, I forgive you.

He was like, jolly shit. Sir, I forgive you. Like, she wanted it to stop. And it was like, and he like snapped out of it. Yeah, man. That's fucking nuts. True story. Just exactly as that was wild.

There was no mental health before 2010. No, no. They called it shell shot. My dad. That was that Carlin bit. Yeah. And I got a little shell shock. You just, so he got the rash, like with the, he had, so he actually, when he came back,

my dad did a year. And then when he came back, he spent a month in a, in a hospital. Because of. With a shell shock is what they call. So he got it. Coming to grips with like, it's like brutal. Dude, that like generation that fought in World War, any war, dude, you look at the numbers of like the Korean War.

Yeah. How many people we lost? Yeah. And you're like, and they just came back and they were like, hey, we need you back at work. Yeah. Hey, we need you go back at work. And you're like, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's like we talk about the social talking of coming out of a knockout. Imagine coming out of a war and talking and being like, yeah, the Yankees are good this year. I can't sleep. So here's how the mind is such an interesting thing, how it like protects you and, you know, does these things to make sure you can handle things. He told me two stories that, like, encapsulate this very well. Like one, speaking of that is like when he came back, he was living in Brooklyn, Flatbush area. And he went like his, he's. all different. He just came back from combat. Yeah. But everything else is the same. So he was,

he explained it like it's this weird thing. You know, it's like, so he was walking. He went to, he went up the staircase to the train station. There was a guy selling papers. He goes, hey, Chris, you know, where you've been? I haven't seen you. And it was just weird moment he had where like, he, he was like, where have I been? Like he couldn't. Like the goal. It was two realities. Yeah. Like, oh, this is just every day. kind of thing. It was like he time traveled. And it was like,

it's got to be such a mind. Got to be a weird moment. Because also you think about it. Like everything's the same but different at the same time. He spends a year being in a place he doesn't want to be watching halatious shit.

And probably, I don't know, you know, I'm thinking about how I would handle it. You're thinking about being back in Flatbush. You're thinking about being in Brooklyn. You're thinking about, oh,

at home, I'd buy a paper at the train station, you know? And then he's like, comes back and he's like, you guys don't even realize what I, I saw.

It's like that question, where you been? He goes, well, that's a loaded. Yeah, it's a load. It's like, yeah, I wasn't in Florida. I can say that. Yeah. I was overseas. Yeah, I was in hell.

Yeah. He also described it as hell. He goes, it's, it's hell. And it's pandemonium. It's like, because Korea was like probably, like, you look at it historically. It was like, one of those first wars that we have now where people just launch artillery at each other. Yeah. So like World War I, World War II, people were like,

shooting at each other. Trench warfare. There was also mustard gas and tank. Now it's just this impersonal kind of of, you just, so my dad was destruction from afar. And his role was calling in the artillery. So he would actually call in the artillery

because he was a lieutenant. He would call in the artillery. Douglas Smith, MacArthur's son was in charge of that theater war. And so he would speak to him directly and call in the artillery. So he would guess, like logistically where they are and then he'd just launch and then you just see

the destruction. Like afterwards, they'd go and then they would, they would check the bodies for intel and shit like that. So that's what my dad would do. Yeah. And so it's just like,

coming back and being, it's just a weird, hamburger hill worst movie to go. You just know that you were apart and you're looking at all these dead bodies. I don't know how you do. I don't know how you. I'd probably say that's my,

compartmentalize that. Yeah. I know what you do when you have a bad set. That's as far as I can go is what you want to do. You want to get up as quick as possible. We'll never fucking know that. But I also think that's also like the thing that bums me out the most about America

is that we don't take care of these guys more when they come home. Especially being the age. Oh, yeah. I was, you know, I was a freshman in high school, I mean, a freshman in college when 9-11 happened. I know you were older, but my friends that I went to high school with, some of them,

some guys I knew, signed up for the Marines, 18 years old out of high school, 9-11 happens. You're in the action. You're not going to a parking garage in Germany. Yeah. You're going to fucking the front lines. Yeah, it is a war.

And then you just, and then, and then watching the whole Iraq war and guys come back from Fallujah. And then there's just like this no, there's no like, program to go like, all right, we got a. They've made some progress with that with the, they have. Wounded Warriors does some stuff. Yeah, they've made some progress too with the PTSD. But it's all stuff.

PTSD stuff. They made some progress. Ketamines, one of them. Ayahuasca. Ayahuasca. Yeah, psychedelics. And then the trauma therapy, the kind of the EMDR help. They've made dogs help too.

You know the EMDR? You know how popular it is right now? I was supposed to do a trial of that when I was 16 and I did not take it seriously. And I had like all this advanced therapy at my fingertips and just did not take it serious. I didn't know what it was. It's a light where you follow it.

And what they do is they feel like they can activate the frontal lobe of your brain, which is holding on to stuff. That's they're afraid of. You're holding on to the front. It's not processing to the back. That's how it was explained to me. It's reprocessing the memories.

It's where you relive them. It's not stored right. And my sister was killed a year before that. So they were in the car accident. So my mom was like, I just, yeah. It's just your story. Just so, dad. Yeah, but my mom was like, I go,

and I keep walking forward. Your dad, too. Yeah. My aunt. But I, I can relate. My mom was like, um. You just limp in. Junior year was tough.

Senior year's going to be. lot better. Your friend throws you over the shoulder and runs you out of the combat. Those guys are real. That's real. That's real trauma. For me, it was like,

you know, I had a thing. No, no, no, trauma's trauma. I mean, is that,

that's traumatic, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But they were like, hey, we're going to do this thing at D.U.

At Denver University. There was a therapist there that was doing it, that was working in that. It was like trial runs. Literally a trial run. So my mom was like, it's free. So please,

you need therapy. And I was so not taking it seriously. that I would just like smoke a blunt and go in and talk to this lady about a girl that I had a crush on that didn't like me. You were goodwill hunting and just sitting there going like,

you know what fucking turns my thing is when the beat starts. Dude, it really was like a thing where she was like, she was like, you're not taking this seriously. And then as I've gotten older, the first time I saw it come back

was there was a scripted billions where they were talking about it. And they're like, it's the most advanced form of dealing with trauma. And I was like, yo, do that in high school and I fucking was like this shit's gay I don't want to do this I want to go hang out with my boys yeah but it's crazy I see that now and I go I can see why yeah it's probably

but you're right PTSD as far as dealing with it and stuff they've gotten better at it's still a thing shout out wounded warriors shout out all these like yeah these places that it's it's ran by former vets to take care of vets that actually know what they need they need housing they need help with you know yeah we do not take care of them enough it's brutal with the amount of military budget we have And I don't give a shit, what side of the aisle you're on? As an American, you should be like, guys, we're wasting 97 trillion on missiles to shoot at drones in Iran. How about we put a couple of these boys up at a house where they can get their brains right? Yeah, yeah.

Before we put them back out in society. The other thing my dad told me that gave me perspective on, like, people was in war. He said, so he got decorated, right? So it was like a big battle where they held the line against the Chinese. and so he was decorated, right? So he had like a bronze star. Yeah. Greek King gave him one because it was the Greek battalion.

He was a liaison officer with the American army with the Greek battalion because NATO was there. Oh, yeah. So he was like. And he can speak. He could speak. So that's why. And he was an officer. So,

and so he had the medal, right? He fucking, he never had him up. They were always. And I found that. And I was like proud of it. I was like, you know, you're a decorated.

You're a warrior. And he said, he said, the reason. they give this medal, son, is because you can't pin a metal on a dead guy. Damn. And I just remember that. Damn. That's like a...

And you go, well, do you want me to put it back in your desk? Yeah. You know, yeah. So I, can I have it? Yeah. It's like such a kid ass. You go, oh, cool, a war metal. Dad, what's the meaning of this?

He goes, you know, sometimes. Yeah. Death isn't the answer. You go, can I have this, though? Yeah. Like, selfishness of a kid. This is cool, though. I still think this is cool.

I talk to Janice and I look and I go, Jesus Christ. Yeah, we had a good time. It's always fun. Watch history hyenas. Watch the specials on YouTube. Yannis is one of the best stand-up comics. He's also just one of the funniest people, best people I know. I fucking love him to death.

And I was really happy. I hadn't seen you in a while. And I was like, please come do the podcast. Yeah, thank you. See me in Philly. Come see me in Philly. Philadelphia. This is probably going to come out way after.

Oh. Next time he's around. Philly Austin. Just go to Janus Popas. Yeah, go to Janus Papas Comedy. com for my time. Yon's Popist Comedy. Yannis Pappas comedy.

Comedy. Because somebody fucking took yonispepaps.com. Never found it? They think they won the game, but they didn't because I put the word comedy. And now you know what you're going for. And yeah, it's no more net anymore. I was rocking with net for a while.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I'd rather you have E.U. Yeah, yeah. I'd rather have Januspappas. comptu. Yeah, I had the, I had the... Net hurts.

Spirit Airlines and web addresses. Ooh, you were riding that greyhound of the internet. Yeah.