Soder - 20: Goy Googles with Louis Katz | Soder Podcast | EP 20

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

On this episode Dan is joined by  @LouisKatzComedy watch his special here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01FUQkgPs3E The boys talk having cool nicknames, treadmill vs hamster wheel, exercise is a personality, high school girlfriends, bad eating habit, rogan elk meat, drinking vs smoking, living in mexico, social media ruins stuff, and more. Get timeless looks with modern comfort from Mack Weldon. Go to MackWeldon.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code SODER. Go to Zocdoc.com/SODER and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. I'll be on the road ALL 2024! 🍿 Get tickets at Dansoder.com/tour March 28-30 Nashville,TN April 12-13 Omaha,NE April 19-21 Washington,DC May 9-11 East Providence May 31st - June 1  Columbus,OH Follow  @LouisKatzComedy https://www.instagram.com/louiskatzcomedy/?hl=en PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with DAN Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by    @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

This does feel like porn. It is weird. I say podcasts are strippers for friendship. I think it's for- Yeah, where they go, hey baby. Yeah. You go, hey, you want to listen to the story? Also, don't forget to get Casper mattresses. You know, this podcast would be really good.

That's what Patreon is. This is a private dance. Yeah, exactly. They go, you want to go in the back? Anything goes. It's actually the same shit. Yeah. It's just the same. It's just the same with a little more spit and occasionally someone will blow you. Occasionally a real down and out comical fucking put lips to tube. Um, I was thinking about this cause I love liquids.

I love liquids too. But now I love beverages. Are we talking liquids or beverages? Beverages, but You think you love beverages more than I love beverages? Yeah, I'm an alcoholic. Oh, okay.

I absolutely, I have a disease that's caused by my love of beverages. All right. Okay. I can't have certain beverages cause I imbibe too much. You're a food guy. I've never been a food guy. That is true. Yes. We go on the road together sometimes and I'm telling you right now, Louis, you're a hungry, hungry hippo. I can't stop eating, man. I'm so hungry all the time. He burns calories in a way. We'll be before a show and it'll be like, I have to eat. And I'm like, oh no, it's cool, man.

We'll get food after the show. And you go, what do they have nearby? You'll go venture out. We could be in a war zone and you'd be like, I have to eat and I'm like, Oh, no, it's cool, man. We'll get food after the show and you go, what do they have nearby? You'll go venture out. We could be in a war zone and you'd be like, I have to go. I can't, I can't do it without eating. I'm weird. Like do you do the hot girl thing where you go like my blood sugars crashing? Maybe that's what it is. I like to put some science to it. I'm just like, I'm hungry. I got to eat now. I don't know. Louie you're a gremlin. I have to feed you. Yeah. Yeah. Please. Yeah. Cause you're like, dude, you've ate when we were in Atlanta. I think you ate before the show. Like five meals. Yeah. You're a gremlin. I have to feed you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, please. Yeah, because you're like, dude, you've ate,

when we were in Atlanta, I think you ate before the show. I had like five meals. Yeah, you're a hobbit. You have second breakfast. He's just like constantly eating. I can't stop, man. I've never understood that. I don't have to eat. If I get on stage and I haven't eaten, the words, I can't find the words.

He's like, bro, you should do a whole special like that called Louie Kat's Hungry. And it's you being like, no, no, no, no. I'll turn on the crowd. It's like, what the fuck do you want for me? Jokes. I got to, I got a few. You are the Snickers commercial. Yes. You're like, hey, Louie, you weren't yourself.

I'm Roseanne before that. Or what? She looks like Dr. Zayas. And you're like, no, Roseanne, you can't say that. They should have used your real tweets in that commercial. Bring her back for another Snickers commercial. Cause she's saying some real hungry shit now. She said some real I haven't eaten in a while. Oh, that's funny. Here's a Snickers. You just do that. They should just do that

with like, um, when people are saying wild shit, just give them a snickers. That should be the new thing. Instead of icing someone with Zima's, just give them the snicker. Um, the problem is it still sounds like a slur a little bit. It's not going to clear the air. Yeah. What are you a snicker? That's a real we have to believe it. Watch YouTube. Be like, Hey, we got to demonetize this. You guys are getting fucking insane. Calling everything Snickers.

I wish I hadn't said that up. It sounds like, Oh man, with American history, that does lend itself to a word that we can't be using, but it is, I mean, whenever someone usually, I guess it's the way that I don't really give a shit about eating, but when someone's like, I need to eat, I'm like, ah, you can put it off for four hours. Nope. No, can't. No, it sucks. I tore with you. I tore the tell. Neither of you eat like pretty much most of the tell literally doesn't eat all day and only eats after the shows.

And he smokes cigarettes and drinks coffee. I smoke weed and drink coffee. You think I would eat more though. The amount of weed I smoke. Yeah. But now it's all saved for sweets. I did a benefit show recently where they checked your blood level. It was like for the benefit was for people with diabetes and they did the thing, which by the way, I love Andy Stuckey. Uh, great. We worked out together on guy code and guy court, which I court, is that real? He didn't know what guy court was. It sounds like a sketch. It sounds like gay porn. what guy court was. It sounds like a porn guy court where they're like,

where they're like, you've been accused of being a power bottom. How do you plead? You're like gaping. So they, I explained this on the bonfire cause Jay used to love to make fun of me about it, which he should, but guy code was a show on MTV too. Was like, you know. I know Guy Cod. Guy Cod was like Chris DiStefano, Andrew Schultz, Little Duvall, Charlemagne, John Gabris,

a ton of comics that like, you know, are very successful now. Pete was on it too, right? Pete Davidson. Yeah, they just, man, there's so many, Damien Lemon. Yes. There was a lot of great guys on there and they're

And then they did a spinoff where they were like, hey What happens when your friend breaks guy code time to take them to guy court to guy court? Did you wear a powdered wig dude? I would have loved it If he floats he breaks guy code No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no was like, hey, do you want to do guy court? And I did the thing where you're like, oh, thanks, no. I just knew I wouldn't be right for it because I didn't have like the boisterous personality. You're boisterous. I can be boisterous, but not all the time.

It's true. And they were like, my manager goes, oh, we'll just ask for a crazy amount of money and they'll say no. And then you look fine. That's the best, fuck you money, yeah. Just be like, give me this money. And they're like, no, then I don't do it. And I was like, uh, all right, try it.

And then he called me and goes, they said, yes, you gotta do four episodes. And I was like, Oh, so I got a haircut and they cut it real short. I've told this story recently, but I had a boxy suit. And then my case was they gave me a boxy suit and then my case was, they gave me a really bad suit. It was like really boxy. Is it on a set or like any, like what is it? You can find footage of it. But the first case I had to argue was I was,

the prosecution, this guy said that his friend broke guy code by listening to R and B in the car with him, like sexy music while they were driving and he broke guy code because anything that can be affiliated with homosexuality, apparently that's the rule about guy code. That's the ultimate guy code is fucking another guy. Yeah. Is that right? I mean, yeah, Spartans, they wrote guy code.

They were like, I fucked this young boy and he's my trusted soldier now. But they, the case was, the defense was, no, you can listen to R&B in the car with your friend. I, and they tell you what you're going to be like, you're prosecuting this case. You don't get to pick it. Okay, sure. So I had to say, there it is, dude. Look at that. Oh my God.

Ridiculous. You found that so quick. Look at that. Oh my God. Ridiculous. You found that so quick. Look at that bad cut. So you'll understand that why this case is so bad and homeless people hit it in the edit on the video. I had to defend that it was bad to listen to R&B music when I had a short haircut and a boxy suit. So I looked like a 1950s lawyer where I was like,

while they can exist, it's separate but equal. That's what I was like. I was basically arguing like, I was the education and they were Brown, Brown v. the board. Well, loonin' in vile, I'm in a bath of the brains. So dude, I immediately was like, I'm gonna lose every fucking case. And then I think I was two and two because twice they put me against another white and I just mopped

the floor with them. But I lost to Charlamagne and Duval. Oh, there you go. They're tough. Do you take- Yeah, they're cool black dudes. They're going to fucking mop me. When they got Lil in one name, the God in the other, you can't compete with that. Yeah. I would have to be little God, little Dan the God. That's good. Or big Dan the saint. Big Dan the devil. We can't call you big Dan the devil. I'm big Dan the devil. That also sounds like a great tattoo artist. Big Dan the devil. What do you want me to do, your whole back? Or a hot rod guy? Yeah. Whatever, whatever I crash it I'm a stunt man hey I'm big Dan the devil how you doing I'm gonna be jumping through that building

for you today what's going on you're right there's no I never thought about it I would have just a little and a duck yeah yeah not even the God no change that vowel you dork it's a a not an E square honky. You fucking cracker. Yeah, you can't compete. I would be, I'd be Big Dan the devil. Oh, E? Yeah. Oh yeah.

You really stick it back. Even I would even go thy. Back when we were doing some real colonial dirt. Big Dan thy devil. I'm on the road. I'm leaving this little fatso back here in New York. End of the month. I will be at Zany's in Nashville, Thursday through Saturday, one of my favorite clubs, March 28th through the 30th. Then next month I'll be headed to old Omaha, Nebraska. Listen, I know we have beef from the Colorado

and Nebraska days. I didn't even go to see you. I just grew up rooting for them. But I am excited to come back to the Omaha Funny Bone April 11th through the 13th. And then I'll be at the DC Improv April 19th through the 21st. Go to DansOtter.com for those tickets and go to YouTube.com and watch On The Road, my special. It keeps her fed. Isn't that right? Yeah! Fuck this dog rules. Oh man, have you, you've never been overweight though, the way you eat? No. Is it just... I exercise a lot. I can't sleep if I don't exercise. I think it's the same problem. Do you have a gerbil wheel at home? I should have a giant wheel. That would be very helpful if I had a giant wheel.

Yeah. Or basically do you have like a, um, treadmill? Yeah. Treadmill. I couldn't think of it. They have these for humans. They call them the treadmill. I could bring up hamster wheel before I could bring up treadmill. Yeah. You got a giant, uh, giant water thing where you can suck the straw. It's called a Brita. I'm a human. Yeah. Sorry. My mother raised me in a lab during science experiments. I show you my shaved belly. On this side of your face is all this makeup. Burn my skin!

Yeah dude, so you never got fat. If you stopped exercising would you be a little chump? Probably. I eat kind of healthy and literally I have to exercise. I can't sleep. I just don't sleep very well if I don't exercise. You're a hummingbird. You're Louis the hummingbird. That's what I'm starting calling you.

I like that. That's not bad. Louie the Hummingbird. But I'm not actually that like, I'm not like a peppy guy. I mean, you say you're not boisterous. I think I'm less boisterous than you. You're more boisterous than me. It's crazy that you exercise that much

with your personality. You do not have the personality of a man that exercises. What does that mean? Lot of times people that exercise a lot, they're insufferable. Well thanks. They just like kind of show up and they're like, yeah, I got a good, they talk about it a lot they're insufferable. They just like kind of show up and they're like yeah I got a good they talk about it a lot you don't talk about it. I'm embarrassed by it. Listen and I'm saying this is a lumpy piece of shit I'm

jealous of people that exercise but you don't have that personality. Thank you well thanks it's just I am embarrassed by I say that's why the that's why they play that horrible music whenever you go to the gym to remind you of what a douchebag you are for being here. Look at you fucking douche. This is the kind this is your personality in music form. This horror music. Have you ever gotten into a song at the gym though? I don't belong. I don't I don't what kind of gym do you think I'm going to? I'm a I'm a blank planet fitness level dude. I don't there's no saunas at my gym. There's not even showers at some of them. I didn't, no, I'm saying music they're playing at the gym. Have you ever been like, what, you don't have a sauna? What kind of rocky gym are you working on?

No fucking big money Dan. I know I wasn't, you know what? I wasn't on a show called Billions, okay? I don't have the sticks. Yeah, well they didn't pay me billions. They paid me scale. Apparently. Do you think I got this place because of billions? I got this from selling fentanyl. I'm dosing folks.

But I mean a little. I've been doing this through insurance fraud. The guy that just gives away his crimes on a podcast. I didn't get this apartment through billions. I got it through defunding the police. I've been taking their money. It'd be funny if they have to pass the law like they had to do for rappers. You can't use anything on a podcast. Rico case. Yeah, yeah. Rico case. Dude, I take down like 16 silly men. It's like Nate's like, why am I being drawn into this? Shane's like, dude, I just signed with Bud Light.

This is gay. You're getting us all in trouble. He's testifying in front of Congress. This is gay. And then Nate's like, this is bananas. I don't even know Soder. I was rooting for the lines. Dude, me putting down everyone. We should all have names like, you know, it's like, um, isn't that like the ASAP was like like a gang they all had like names like ASAP Rocky ASAP they were marketing game there they're geniuses with marketing man all right where should we be dude I'm

the honey bird and you're big damn the devil I don't know these things are awesome we did get biker names within an hour of doing this podcast I still I'm I don't think I'm I don't think I'm a hum. I don't think I have a hummingbird vibe. You do. Fie dance is more of a hummingbird energy. He's got woodpecker vibes, dude. He's just like, I love Ian, but he's around.

He's like, which at times you're like, oh, it's majestic. And at times you're like, I have a headache. You're a hummingbird. Your wings are moving so fast. They look like they're still and you don't even realize. You're a hummingbird. Your wings are moving so fast they look like they're still and you don't even realize. I think I just think this hummingbird is just you know it's just a different energy than I got. What would you say? What bird do you have the energy of? I'm not really I'm more of a capybara. Excuse me? Capybara. What is that? It's a giant South African South

American hamster. You know what I'm talking about? But it does. So far you said the H word was tracks. Cause you need your wheel. Yes. Do you shit in pellets? No, no. I'm good with the fiber. That would lock it up. The fiber helps keep me trim like this. Do you take fiber? No, I eat fiber. I mean, I mean, I have homeless pimp cut that up. So I just have that drop. And you're going, I eat fiber. Like so aggressively that I was like, what did fiber kill your dad? Why is fiber fiber for breakfast?

We want me to shit regularly and thick. So you're a South American hamster and what's it called? It's a capybara. I look a lot like it like this here. Here. I mean, it looks like this. That mean, it looks like this. That's what it looks like. But I love is knowing the edit is they're going to be able to, he'll be able to put it. It looks just like it. Do it again. Do your hamster face. You'll see in the picture. It looks just like him. See, I'm doing that face.

Dude. And all these monkeys are just chilling on spec. Yeah. Yeah, dude. You're crazy, Dude. You're a cap of cap bar. I would have never known how to say that. That's so funny. South. Dude, I'm trying to think what I would be. I would be a sloth. I have a lot of sloth energy or bear. Like, I mean, that deep voice makes, you know, makes it like, but I'm not like scary bear. I'm like blue. Yeah. That's what I was gonna say. Or the other one, the, uh, the Robin hood bear. Yeah. Where I'm like little John. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the, they're the same. They are the same energy. It's big and harmless. Yeah. But you're like,

he could turn on you if something bad happened. Yeah. That's what I am. I'm always like, well, hey, my shoulder. I'm just singing some, hey, Louie, you get done eating? He's up on my shoulder. I'm just singing some song that I made up. Katie would absolutely agree with that because I sing made up songs and she goes, what are you doing? I'm balooing it.

I'm going, when you're making a coffee and you put cream in it. God, I must be annoying to live with. Oh, do do do. Call me balooed. I'm Dan the Baloo. It's also crazy, you're doing dad shit and you don't got a kid. You know? Yeah.

It's just you. Well, when you don't have one, you play the role yourself. Yeah, you're just being it. It's a one man play. Only child to know dad, real one man show, if you know what I mean. You either do a one man show or you are a one man show. Father, if I ever get to that point, I want you to, I want you to a Wilkes booth me. No way. John Wilkes booth me. If I ever do a,

what, if I do a sincere one man show where at any point I try to cry, put one on, like if you see it, vulnerability is where it's at, man. Sure. Yes. But you can be funny. Yes. Sure. I'm not being funny be funny and vulnerable. Yes, sure. If I'm not being funny. All right, I'll shoot you. And if it's one of those things where I take myself too seriously.

I'll shoot you. Yeah, dude. I'll shoot you. Right. I'll snipe you. My hands are very shaky. I might miss the head. I just see a red dot.

It's all over. I go, someone feed him. Feed him now. And then it steadies. Oh, his blood sugar's up. I'm about to get my brain, my brain's blown out. Did you eat, even when, like, I remember specifically when I was young, I was like, maybe fourth grade,

and I went to my friend Jason Poyle's house. Shout out, Jason Poyle. We started texting again recently. I ate dinner at his house, and I drank too many liquids to the point that the parents were like, you like, did you like, you're like, Oh, you're going to fill up on whatever water and what juice, whatever I was drinking. And I was like, no, I want more. Look, I can't eat without my liquids. Did you ever get, would you ever go to people's houses and they're like,

well, Louie can eat. Yes. Well, it's like I had, I had, um, uh, my high school girlfriend was Korean. So it was all about like Korean American and she was all about home you well No, she had to lie about me. I wasn't her boyfriend. I was her friend Oh, but I still impressed them with the eating skills, you know Look at this guy fucking are you fucking him? look at this guy fucking are you fucking him? Well, the weird thing is my dad loves to eat, but he's fat and somehow I, the jeans crossed and I'm still loved to eat, but I'm not fat. I don't know how you got the hunger, but then you also got your hummingbird.

Yeah. You got to work out. No, you're a capoeira or whatever. It's called. Capo bar. I'm doing capoeira. You can AI that and probably make it look fucking sick. Capybara doing capoeira. So when you go, how old are you? Oh, that was like high school. I mean, I guess I would eat a lot, but the weird thing is like,

I wouldn't- And they would be impressed by it? Mostly, mostly impressed. They're like saying stuff in Korean. I would order weird shit. Sometimes I would be like, mm-hmm, is there a green with it? But I would, weird shit. Sometimes I would just agree with it, but I would, I didn't eat breakfast for like the first, most of my life until I became an adult myself. There's no breakfast in my house.

No, no, no. I had cereal every morning. See, I'm, it's like, I run late and so does my family. So it's like, I, like I gotta go and I didn't have time to eat and I really wouldn't eat breakfast. Now that I eat breakfast, but breakfast, man, that just warms me up for lunch. You know what I mean? So it's like a blow job before sex. You're like, ooh, what are we doing?

Am I about to have a full lunch? Oh, eggs, what are you doing to me? Oh, you're about to have me have a sandwich and fries at lunch, fuck. It really is, it just gets me out of the door to the place I'm gonna have lunch is what the breakfast does for me. Do you get excited? I don't eat a heavy breakfast What do you have for breakfast usually I have a non-fat Greek yogurt with chia seeds granola and some

Blueberries, so you do a very healthy. That's what I'm saying. I'm healthy I'm healthy. I have sex but it's intimate. Yes Yeah, I care about this person persons and it gets me excited to see them. What's all about? I am, I do all the moderation so I can do the nasty shit when I want to. What's the nasty shit? Oh, you know, pastrami, pepperoni, pizza, whatever the fuck I want. This is regular meals for me. I thought you were changing it up with the new year. Yeah, so did I. You were so committed to that last night. I haven't drank soda. All right, there you go. I have not drank no fizzy drink. Jersey, no fizzy.

Yeah. I haven't drank soda since the beginning of the year, but we had Taco Bell last night. Oh man, dude. What are you talking about? We live in the darkness. We're molded by it. Stop. I like bad food. My body processes it. But I was saying about that, um, the diabetes show, but guys tend to think that looking sharp means starchy Oxford's and stiff chinos rather than effortless comfort. But it's possible to have both. Mack Weldon makes timeless apparel with modern performance fabrics for guys who want to look and feel sharp without sacrificing comfort from their light as

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Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash Soder, S-O-D-E-R, Zocdoc dot com slash Soder. But I was saying about that diabetes show, I did it and they test your blood to see how close, you know, and I was like, this is a terrible idea for a comedy show. Because if I am pre-diabetic, my set, I'm gonna bomb.

Does everyone there, so everyone in there has just got a diagnosis and then you perform? Well, they do the comics. So everyone there, I think a lot of the audience was diabetic and so they're like, for them they're like, hey, are you one of us or not? And they prick your finger, then they test it. But I had like a really good rating and I was like, oh, I'm gonna go eat candy and I'm like

Yeah, I don't think that's Has the eating caught up to you when you got older? No, I mean no not yet It's like I know I say I'm supposed to quit eating pizza cuz I'm supposed to go to physical in a month and I know The guy's gonna be like, yeah, your arteries are blocked. Yes. I have high cholesterol So I have to that's why I also that's also why I have to check it So I try to I'm trying to go plant-based was high cholesterol a bummer when you found out because you're such an eater Hell, yeah, dude. I don't want to you find this like when I found out

I had a fatty liver when I was like 26. I was like what the fuck me and I get wasted No, like you got to take it off and you're like fuck that or on my throat hurts and I can't smoke weed I'm like no I want to do the thing. I like yeah, man. Is that how you feel dude? I've been trying to be plant-based for months. I can't do it. That's kind of hungry It is well, it's not just you're not you're fucking little South American fucking gerbil. You gotta eat me I can't get enough protein man. I got I got I'm going nuts without it. It makes me it makes me crazy Yeah, dude, so I try and also there's only so many because I don't cook You're the only person I would believe if you liked a picture of Rogan's elk meat I'm going nuts without it. It makes me, it makes me crazy. Yeah, dude. So I try and also there's only so many, cause I don't cook.

You're the only person I would believe if you liked a picture of Rogan's elk meat. I would, you're the only person I would believe. You'd be the only person I'd go, let me tell you something about Louie. He likes to eat. So that's a real one. I mean, I'm down to eat some elk meat, but every time he posts those pictures, I'm like, your arteries must be so fucking clogged. That guy only, all he's eating is all this meat and meat It all goes the muscles. Well, maybe it's all in the musk it still goes to your heart man. There was someone

There was a comic who went all keto and his cholesterol was like Through the roof like they were like, thank God we checked it today because you're due for a heart attack any day now. That's so funny, a doctor goes, I don't even know how you were standing here right now. It was like that. Really?

Yeah, and then he stopped doing it. I mean, that shit catches up to you. But maybe the elk is better for you than a red meat. Who knows? Who knows? Well, scientists know. Who knows? It's not who knows.

Oh, science. Oh, stop. What, is there a hypothesis and then data and then a conclusion and it can always change? Stop. When is the scientific method proven anything except everything? When people go to science, you go, I don't know. You know how bad I was at science. Go pull up my fucking, go pull up my junior chemistry grades all seas. Yes, I was bad at science when it went, when I copied a lot, when it went past just knowing what the animals are,

like I'm a zoo book. I have a lot of zoo books. I know about the animals. That's so funny. You're coming in dropping South American hamsters capybara and they're like, no, you got to take all electron, you know, yes. Cosine. I'm like, what the fuck you talking about the atomic weight and you go fuck five capybaras five'm like, what the fuck you talking about? What's the atomic weight? And you go, fuck. Five capybaras. Five capybaras eat 40 pounds of bananas. They are, their atomic weight is,

yeah man, I always like eating and drinking, it catches up to you. Like alcoholism, I'm glad I quit when I was 30, because this would be the decade where you really start seeing some stuff. Oh yeah, sure. I mean, I've, so I've been, I've been like pretty good about moderate.

Also the drinking thing is like, I have pretty good self-control. It's crazy. You don't really drink though. You never really drank. You were always. No, I never, I, no, I hadn't, I had my last big drunk.

Well, actually I was going to say my last big drunk was when I moved to New York, but then the pandemic happened and that was also a big drunk. Dude, if I would've been drinking during that, that would've gotten dark. Oh dude. We, I would've have been drinking her in that, that would have gotten dark. Oh dude. We would have just been standing there in a robe, hot, holding a bottle of whiskey.

It was a virus. Let it come and get me fucking big bad COVID-19. I'm Dan 20. How long you been sober for 10 years? She's not sober. What peeped the corner. Oh, well, California sober. Yeah, years she's not sober what peep the corner? Oh, well, what's the bag? California sober. Yeah, but that's not sober like how long you been off the alcohol that was gonna get off the hooch for ten years There you go. Be proud of it. Yeah, I've been off cigarettes for ten years. I miss those more really Yeah, I've heard those are the worst I see I never wanted to do them cuz I Katie and I have a point where we almost talked dirty

We go. Yeah, what are you gonna smoke? Are you gonna smoke? Because if she starts, I start, and if I start, she starts. Jesus. But you were saying what? No, just if I'm gonna fuck up my lungs, I wanna get really high off of it.

I don't wanna, I don't wanna... It gets you, it makes you feel good in a different way. Really? Dude, a cigarette with this coffee right now. What happens? Describe it. It just feels, you relax. You're just like every exhale,

you feel cool. You go like, that looks cool. Oh man. I talked to Santino about it. He started smoking again and I was like, damn, what was it like? He's like, it's everything you wish it was. But then you start waking up wheezing and you're like, Oh, I'm going to die. And your arm gets numb for no reason. And you're like, maybe this isn't worth it. Dude, I, you know, I tour sometimes not with just to tell, but also with Ian Fiedans. Both big smokers. It's the second up and second hand smoke tour.

It's no good, dude. Yeah. And what's unfairly is it, what's unfair about life is it is going to get you, not them. Probably. And then this will be the last podcast they play. And I'm like, I didn't mean to call him a gerbil. He called himself a gerbil. A capybara.

A capybara. It's so much more regal and majestic. My name is capybara. Come on. Call me capybara. Yeah, there, I mean, drinking and eating catches up to 30s. Yes, yeah, for sure.

30s is where the damage, but the 40s is where you start seeing what happened. Yes, I mean, you see people. Like 30s, you'll be able to get through fine. Yeah. But then 40s is when, I mean, my dad died at 48 and it was like through 45, you're like, I don't think anything's going to touch this guy. Do you, I know that he got hepatitis C and then it turned into cirrhosis.

So you died. Yeah. Yeah. They got them with the one too. Yeah. That'll do it. A little razzle dazzle. Oh yeah, that's a lot of liver damage right there. Yeah. Damn. But I would probably say he didn't even feel effects of like, you know, besides losing two families, I would say he probably,

I'd probably say he didn't feel the effect of boozing hard. Cause like eating hard, even now, like I eat like shit, but I'm 40, so I know it's like, I gotta start cutting. You feel, I'm not just saying now like I like shit, but I'm 40 so I know it's like I Gotta start cutting you feel I'm not just saying like I feel also I feel better when I exercise I feel better when I eat Healthy, I mean, you know that shit is not donate money. You don't see me being a philanthropist It's like I fucking I know what you're supposed to do. I'm just a lazy piece of shit. Okay So exercising for you, you feel like you have to do it if you miss it. I can't sleep I just lay there and I have and I get it's like all those things that I always thought was bullshit before I started Exercise like you get more energy like no, I don't I feel tired. I feel horrible. No, I get more energy, man

I get amped up. Do you work out in the morning or night? Usually ends up being like in the evening like I'll try and write then I'll go to the gym They'll shower then onto the shows is usually how it goes Isn't the gym packed when you go in the evening? In, here it is. Well, I mean, not in your fancy sauna having gym. I don't know what goes on there. Listen, let's stop doing this.

Let's stop doing this. Because first off, I clear the weight room. No one's allowed to watch me exercise. I have my staff clear and prepare. They put up pictures of me when I was at my best over the mirrors. So, cause that's what I'm working towards. Those are the goals. And you can, and by the way, don't forget to sign up for my class.

This is where I start showing everything. You go, center was a good comic. And then he just fucking completely went for the bag. Get paid. Get paid. I love you. Get that fucking money. No, it is here in New York.

I can't go past five to my gym and where I live. I can't go past five. I can't go past five. I, here in New York, I can't go past five to my gym where I live, I can't go past five. It's like literally, there's nothing, I can't work out there. In my gym in Astoria that I went to for years, I always had to go between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. or else it was gonna be a problem.

Like if it was like 3 p.m., you're like, no, because all the treadmills are gonna be taken, everything's gonna be a problem. The stuff you wanna use, you have to like work in with a guy. Yeah, and everyone takes like 10 weights, put them by them, like they just have to have all the weights. Everyone hoards.

Yeah, yeah, it's more. Like toilet paper during the pandemic. Yeah, dude, it's crazy. Like you don't have more assholes. Everyone's, you still have one asshole. Yeah, that's like, that's the thing with working out that I want to get into like, I don't want to be muscular.

I just want to be. I want you to be muscular. Dude, I want to dance St. Tremaine to get super into roids. I keep pushing it. You want to turn him into a, you just want to tour battle dwarves? Is that what you want? Battle dwarves.

These are my battle dwarves. If I feed him, this is Louie, the Capacaw, what's it? I can't say it, Capybara. This is Louis the Capra-bara. Daniel. He's like, oh man, I feel like smashing stuff. He's coming on the podcast and that's, I'm just gonna tell him to get on Roids.

I've been getting on him. I wanna see Jack Saint-G Germain with a giant beard, looking like fucking the bounty guy in bounty sheets, but drinking, you never got into. No, I drank a lot, but I could always. At Cal or in San Francisco when you started? I was like, I was a real stoner in college. Like I smoked a lot of weed and then I. Put up those old videos, follow the cast on Instagram. It's great. He's got all his old videos from the punchline and they're fucking

great jokes thanks yeah I'm like these are still funny funny to see Louie young Louie well I look so you I'm like I'm already like 22 or 23 but I look like 17 yeah I would have guessed you're like a sophomore in college yes no that's honestly what I would have guessed yeah watching those videos I didn't realize how what a late so you're just getting high I was very high in college and then I went to I studied abroad in Brazil and the weed was so bad there that I stopped smoking weed, but it was before I turned 21 and you could drink there and I was very drunk in Brazil.

I was just drunk a lot. That seems dangerous. Yes. Getting drunk in Brazil where there's just like real good kidnappings going on. Yes. But, uh, I don't know. I tried to look like I... They kidnap you and they're like,

this man, he eats too much. Well, how to let him go? I don't even know if it's a Brazilian accent, it's not. It's a horrible Brazilian, it's not even close. But it's fun for the situation. I had a good time. Yeah, theater of the mind, Odyssey of the mind. You could say that, but so you would get drunk in Brazil.

I was drinking a lot then. And when you come back, so here's always my question, as an alcoholic to people that don't have a problem You could say that, but so you would get drunk in Brazil. I was drinking a lot then. And when you come back, so here's always my question, as an alcoholic to people that don't have a problem with alcohol, you booze heavy in Brazil, but when you come back to the United States, you don't feel like boozing? I had many drunks, I call it, like what I would drink a lot

and then I would stop and then I would drink a lot. So when I first moved to New York, I didn't realize, I was like, oh, the bars are open till four, which is not how late you I was like, Oh, the bars are open until four. Well, we should, which is not how late you should drink until it's like, it's unnecessary. It's very necessary. But I was like, you want to be good. But I didn't know that I, you know, I was so, I was like, well you, it's cool because you're not driving home. And then I realized like,

drunk walking can be dangerous too. Large city like this. Yeah. You're prey. You're an injured antelope. I'm not even talking, I'm swerving on the sidewalk, man. Like, that's how drunk I am. That's so funny, dude. Drunk, subway, riding. Oh yeah. I mean, dude, I've told that, I told that story on Stobbs Podcast about List falling asleep and going all the way from Queens back to Brooklyn. I've seen like, I've fallen asleep and woken up on the four train and like the Bronx and you're like, man, that's not where I'm supposed to be. And just like, it can be, but it's better than having a car.

Yes. And the other thing that stopped me was I'm generally a good drunk. I don't remember a lot, but I don't fuck with myself. You got a great laugh. And you're very like a jovial when you're drunk. Yeah, it makes me happy. I also have a theory.

Every Jewish person I know that drinks either does it too much or it's very rare. Like I know a lot of alcoholics, I know a couple of alcoholics that are Jewish, but most of my Jewish friends have that like Jewish logic where they go like, you know what? That's enough. I don't want to do that. And I'm like, oh man, all my Irish Catholic friends are like, you drink because you don't want to fucking fail. And the Jewish people go, it gives me a headache. Yeah. I mean, no, but it's actually like a thing that used to be true.

Like the older generation, they are not alcoholics. They're not Jews. And it's like, yeah, that's for the Gentiles. That's exactly what it is. I had a feeling, and I knew I was right. Then you go like, now let them have the fire water. It's like what we did to the natives. Yeah.

That's what you guys do to us. They go, they believe Jesus. They go, what do you want is blood's wine? Do you think we would tell you that? You think we're going to tell you our savior's made of what? Merlot? He's fucking idiots. It really is. It's like what we did to the natives where they're like, can we have coffee beans and tobacco? You're like, here's whiskey. Well, no one, Jews aren't giving you guys liquor.

You're just drunk. You guys who owns the stores. Yeah, that's us. The building is operated by, no, it's us. It's us and it's the, here's another thing we talked about. You and I were in Sacramento together. We were talking about being horny. And I said, I know a couple of Jewish dudes

that are horny a lot. And then you said, yeah, it's because our religion doesn't put guilt on sex. And I think that blew my mind because you're 100% correct. Like Jewish guys are like, yeah, fuck, it's not a big deal. And Christians are like, I touch my dick. God fucking hates me. You're just like, I looked at her tits. God, God, you.

And then you guys are like, she has nice boobs. It's like, I would kill to be like that. Dude, Dana Gould still has a bit about how he has to turn off the lights to, to masturbate. Cause he's so ashamed. I'm like, what are you talking about? That's what I think the world would be a lot better is if we all had that like no shame with like, Hey, what it feels good. You're not hurting anybody. And instead you're like, I can't believe my penis is engorged. I'm going to put some laws into effect there to stop poor people from health

insurance. Yeah, it's all, it's all pushed down and shit. But when you said that, you said it, we were in the car and we were driving from, I think Sacramento back to San Francisco, and you said it in such a matter of fact way that I was like, that's 100% true. That's 100% true. It's all shame.

No hangups about it, yeah, it's weird. It really fucks up a lot of shit. Yeah, yes. And then I think about, well, I guess there's probably gay shame in all kinds of things, but how much that fucks up a lot of shit. Yeah, yes. And then I think about, well I guess there's probably gay shame and all kinds of things, but how much that fucks people up. Yeah, that's gotta be like, that's a whole different degree of difficulty.

When you're like, oh I can't just be the person I am, and they're like, ah fuck, oh fuck, everyone's gonna be so mad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck you up. We were talking about Abraham Lincoln yesterday. Yeah, we were. As we do. You know me.

We love to talk about just talking. I think you got it. I think you can you can master the Lincoln impression. There's no audio of them. What do you mean? Well, the fall score, everyone. I don't think it was like that. What do you think it was? He's like today, my fellow Americans, because no, say it loud. I'm black and I'm proud. That was maybe closer. It was like a Lincoln voice. You don't know the Lincoln voice? Well, it's very like this.

Yes, yeah, that's kind of like it. Oh, I'm Abraham Lincoln. That's good. Well, you know, he used to sleep in a bed with a man. Yes. What? And no one ever was like. It's what he did back then.

This is a joke I tried last night on your jokes and it didn't work So we might have to edit this out because if this becomes a stand-up joke, I do want to use it where I said How well I I had a theory like that because of I went to I was in India And you do travel like a mother. Yeah, I love to travel. Yeah, and you've gone to some awesome places Yeah, I tried to get everywhere, you know, what did you I will get back to India, but didn't you learn how to speak Portuguese? Yeah, in Brazil, I learned Portuguese. Were you fluent? Yeah, I was. Yeah, I still I still speak it pretty well, but I'm out of practice, of course.

Do Brazilians flip out? Yeah. Do you not do those YouTube videos where you go to a Brazilian restaurant and speak it perfectly? Because they they don't even hear it at first. They're so they don't they don't even it's like weirds them out in such a way that they don't even like someone walking up to They're so, they don't even, it's like weirds them out in such a way that they don't even understand what's happening. It's like someone walking up to you and be like,

hey, how you doing, man? And you're like, good, man, how you doing? Yeah, exactly. And then you go, whoa! Well, yesterday I recognized, I was at doing a show and a lady come up after her, she had a Brazilian accent and I knew she was Brazilian, but no one guesses that. I know what it sounds like when a Brazilian speaks English.

And you know what's weird? I learned, I studied Spanish during the pandemic. I figured with Portuguese, I can learn Spanish really quick. And so I was in Mexico. I lived in Mexico for like a month and during the pandemic. Yeah. What? Yeah. I was, I, yeah, I, we, um, my, uh, my now wife and I went to Tulum and lived there for a month at the end of it. We went there because we thought it would all be outdoors. So we, we, cause we were both very anxious about it. We went there because we thought it would all be outdoors. So we, we, cause we were both very anxious about it. Super max massed up and all that.

Yeah. I'm comfortable about being horny, but you know, germaphobe like a motherfucker. Yeah. And then. You're not touching a lot of areas other people are touching. At least goys are just going like, what? I don't care. No, no, no. Goys are the ones that are going like this. Germs are good for you. Oh, fucking no. Jews are like, no, thank you. No, no, no. Goys are the ones that are going like this. Germs are good for you. Oh, fucking no. Jews are like, no, thank you. No, thank you.

I don't mind my boner, but I don't like that. And we're like, I'll lick your boner. I won't lick your boner. God, why did I say that? No, so, but I went there to be safer because I thought at least I can be outdoors because it was winter here. And then you go there and it reveals, oh, this is for people who don't believe that COVID exists.

Like everyone there is just partying and I'm like, oh, I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to because it was winter here. And then you go there and it reals, oh, this is for people who don't believe that COVID exists. Like everyone there is just partying. And I'm like, that's not why I'm here.

Tulum was like, yeah, it's like for rich people to get away and go like, ah, America's got all these restrictions. Yes, I didn't know that going into it. But the good thing was- So where did you live? You didn't live on like a resort. I found like an Airbnb and we got our own place.

And- So you're just the gringos that live there for a month. There's a lot of gringos that live in Tulum for all the time. It's like a, really? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like a lot of expats or what? Fuck yeah. It's like, it's dude, it's like, it's one of those places that like should have been there 20 years ago. Cause it was like really, it was like a beautiful paradise beach. And it's right next to these like ruins and you can see this old temple and

there's all these note days Which are these weird like underground pools you can dive in and it's become so overly touristy It's like kind of ruined it like the beach in the movie the beach. I Don't back in the day. It was like they said like it was unbelievable. Yeah, and then they said that movie came out Yeah, I want to go there and it was ruined more than that It's like so on the good burger spot, when you find a spot, you're like, Oh, this place is so good. And then it like, you know, someone famous goes there. They're like, Oh, did you see Zach Efron eating there? And you're like, fuck.

But hopefully maybe there's lines, but the food is still good. I'm saying here what they have is like on the beachfront property and what's supposed to be a national park land. They've built like nightclubs and they're all along this road and just facing each other these nightclubs. They turn it into Cancun. Yeah I guess that's what Cancun but I'm to me it's like why would you turn a beach into a nightclub it's supposed to be a beach it's supposed to be nature you know what I mean like that it's like the worst place for a nightclub why don't you put the nightclub away from the beach and leave let the beach be the fucking beach but

they can't be there. You gotta put your go goy cap on dude. So booze, you got to find a place to sell booze. Put your goy goggles on dude. You gotta fuck. We don't call this episode goy goggles. I've, I've messed up as a podcast host, but yeah, you like those places. Cancun's very similar to that. You can tell Cancun was like a gorg. Like I bet with Cancun, it's like if you went there in the 70s, you there's ruins Every place you go. You should have been here 20 New York City. You should have been here 20 years ago. No, thanks Come on pre Giuliani you can you can live here if you want

I'm well, I'm not carrying a razor blade in my cheek just to take the end train to stops Yeah, but they invented why when you, Colin Quinn has that L train bit where he goes, yeah, he can't ride the L train. He's like, now people got the iPads out. He's like, put that away. Yeah, yeah. I get that it was dangerous, but there's so much culture here then, man.

You know what city I would absolutely say that with? San Francisco. San Francisco and- It's the same here. You really don't think it's the same here? I mean, dude, they invent punk rock here. They invent hip hop here. These came out of this fucking city because it was so terrible. They had to create something good to get out of San Francisco was cool

as shit in the nineties. It was like affordable. Everyone lived there and I'm sure New York had a lot. I'm sure New York in the nineties fucking rule. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like Cancun in the seventies must have been incredible. It's just like probably like affordable. You know what? Uh, Hunter S Thompson used to write about that a lot because you'd go to Puerto Rico. He would go to like places like that, but this is in the sixties and seventies. And he's like, it costs five bucks to live for a month. Yeah. It's incredible. That's what the whole rum diary was about was he went and worked in Puerto Rico,

writing for a sports page. He wrote for a newspaper, he was a sports editor, and kind of put his adventures into a book. And then they made that horrible Johnny Depp movie that started the him and Amber Heard love spat. It was the Rumbdier. Oh, did, I've never seen that. So he's in two different ones of his? He's in the other one too, right?

He plays Raoul Duke in Fear and Loathing and Loathing. Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah. And then he like, and then he plays, he, he got it made, like he got rum diary made. Okay. Cause rum diary was the only fictional work that Hunter S. Thompson did. Okay, cool.

And so they turned it into a movie and it, if you've read rum diary, you're like, it shouldn't be a movie. Like fear and loathing, you're like, what the fuck? Rum diary, like it's, you know, it's a good story. There's a lot of authors that would go to Mexico and just live, I mean, that's in on the road. Yeah, Hemingway would fucking all of them.

Yeah, yeah, Hemingway would go everywhere. It's all, it's definitely the move is to be an expat and go all these places, but like everywhere is worse than it was, it's nothing, there's few, it's hard to find, it's that thing also where like, it's great that more people are living better and more people have access to look at the cool do and see all these cool things but they just get overrun by tourists man well especially now with

like Instagram and it's like that can ruin things very anytime I see a video with voiceover where they go I'm about to show you a really cool place that no one knows about how to ruin this place to fuck up the local economy of this place. It's a mountain. And then they do the thing where they put their hand on the camera and they pull back and they go, you can get this room for only $32 a month. And then you call them and they go,

we're sold out for the next seven years. But it does, it sucks. And also all those pictures are so posed. Like I've been to, like I went to, just honeymoon in Japan. And I don't know if you've seen it. That's what I mean, this guy travels. Yeah, I loved it. love it. I love it. I love it. I'm so lazy. So in Kyoto, they have this, like these mountains with these red arches,

these like Buddhist arches and all the photos are of like people, just like one person in the arch, but you go through, it's like a single file line, both directions, trying to get through them. You have to like wait to get a second where it looks like it's just, yeah, they're like the wings in Nashville where it's a bunch of girls being like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it's like Everest.

There's a line. Oh, yeah. There's a literal line to summit Everest. Do you remember when they, I like when the Sherpas rebelled against them. They were just sick of their shit and just started just throwing shit at them and trying to pull them off the mountain

because they're being assholes. Little strong men with rocks at them and being like, dude, you'll get pulled by a Sherpa. I would do that. and like trying to pull them off the mountain because they're being assholes. Little strong men with rocks out of them. Yeah, man. You'll get pulled by a Sherpa. I would do that. I would go full villain if I was a Sherpa. I'd just hide. I'd be like fucking sand people in Star Wars.

They walk in single file to hide their numbers. I'd just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have an army of Sherpas, dude. Fuck with me and my army of Sherpas. Get them boys! That's what I'd have an army of Sherpas dude. Fuck with me in my army of Sherpas No more summit you shall not pass Dude an army of Sherpas sounds awesome You've given them like eight different voices so because none of us know what a Sherpa sounds like. I'm a voice guy.

I hit it till it sticks. I'll get Lincoln. I'm coming for you. Honest. I'm going to get that fucking voice. You're tall and lanky. Just like me. Yeah. You're very Lincoln. What's uh, what's the most dangerous? What's the most danger you've ever felt in being traveling? Like have you ever been in a situation where you're like, I've gotten like pickpocketed twice in Brazil yeah but pickpocket is they don't want any PCU they're just gonna take it from you no well that's the thing is like I always thought pickpocketing was all smooth where they just like reach your pocket hours later you're like oh I guess it was that time it's like no I can feel someone's hand

in my fucking pocket it's like it's a super crowd they're like trying to one person's pushing me away and the other one's grabbing the food, grabbing, grabbing the money out of my pocket. Don't do that. No, don't grab my food. Fuck it. Oh boy. Once I had a crazy. Once that's the Chupacabra, I'm the Capybara. It's totally different. Chupacabra is my cousin. So when you're getting pickpocketed, they're like pushing you around. It's like you can, it's like, so when they dress a prince in a movie where they're like,

you must get ready for the bowl. It's like that, but less glamorous. It's like, it's so crowded. It's like passing through a crowd that's so crowded that they can just put their hand in your pocket and you're like already being pushed out of the way. That's what I'd say to him. Fucking tug it. It's like, so crowded that they can just put their hand in your pocket and you're like already being pushed out of the way. That's what I'd say to them.

Fucking tug it. It's like. No. That's how you avoid pickpocket. You'll finger my asshole. What are you doing? No, me sir. No.

Yeah, you're gonna fucking give me a digit. But no, what I was gonna say though about about, about India though was like, so in India, um, male friends hold hands walking down the street and I'm like, bring it over here. I don't know, man. Feel weird. That makes me feel weird. I can't do this.

There's some moment where you go like, I'm not holding hands with Louis. Someone's gotta take this show to Guy court. Yeah. We broke a lot of rules. Don't worry, they'll have a little The God get me. They'll both prosecute it. You're safe when you're in the hands of The God and Little Duvall, their law firm.

Do we prosecute awkward whites? We got him. We'll fucking take him down and guy court. That's hilarious. But my theory was that in these places, so you're not really allowed to be gay in India. So my theory is there's these places where you're not- Like Saudi Arabia when the boys kiss each other goodbye.

Exactly. Where you're not allowed to be gay, you're free to be even gayer. Cause it's like, I'm not gay, I'm just fucking my friend in the ass. Yeah, they go, what is that? It's trust. Yeah, it's just what we do.

I'm not doing this for pleasure. Like a woman, like a, like a gross, ewey woman. Eww. No, they say like, they say that there's some kind of, I'm telling you, I do not like men. I want to fuck a woman. Fuck a woman. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm thinking about pussy. You ever heard that saying this? They say this about somewhere in the Middle East. It was like women for duty, like men for pleasure and something else. Like there's a whole run. They have a breakdown. I have a clip from law and order SVU that I always send to people that really makes me laugh and I'll send it. I'll have Mike edited in, but it's iced tea talking to a guy who commits a crime.

And it's at the moment where he admits something and he goes he goes I have relationships with women and I sleep with men and I see goes guess what that means he gay right here I have relationships with women and sex with men and I got news for you. That means you're gay. I have relationships with women and sex with men. And I got news for you. That means you're gay. But if you don't think I hit people all the time with a lot of my friends will attest they get hit with that a lot if they say some shit, but that's what it is. Cause they're like, no man, I just fucked my bro. We're just blowing off steam.

It's not gay. We're not gay. It just feels good. It's so funny. It's a tight hole. What do you do? We should just send like the most gen Z, like TikTok influencer there to go, honey, baby,

you're gay. And they're like, no, I'm not. I fuck my friend, because we're boys. And they go, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, you're gay. That person should not be in these countries I'm talking about. Well, that's why you think they're not illegal. Why do you think it's so dangerous?

Because all those dudes want to fuck other dudes. It's dangerous. They're like, get the fuck out of here. You know, it's like, that's like when you see super Christian pastors and they're like homosexuality and then they get caught just circus ceiling, seven dudes in a motel. What did you call it?

Circus ceiling. What's that mean? You know, when they play horns, they go. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. That's them, but with peen eye. Ha ha ha. That's them sucking dick. All those, all those super Christian pastors are just blow banging a bunch of gay dudes.

Is that an expression or did you make that up? I made that up. Cirque de Cile in them or usually, this is gross, but I say like when two girls blow a dude, I call it mama dog and I go, Oh, what are you guys puppies? You mama dog in it. It's just fun to throw around a conversation. It's the thing that someone probably could prove to me like that's not logically the right thing to say. And I'd be like, yeah, I don't know. It sounded funny.

I like it. I don't like it as much as circus ceiling. Circus ceiling, seven dudes. That's absolutely what a Christian path. I just kept thinking about what you have when you look at the roof of a circus. Like it's like a, like the big top is up there. I didn't know what it was happening. That's a good seal. That's a good rain seal. The performing seal that plays all the horns. But just add penises.

And then a guy that says being gay is evil. And that's usually the situation and some shoddy motel. I always think it's funny. I always think it's funny when someone's really against something like adamantly against something and then they get caught doing it. That's, that's my proof of God. That's like, I don't need religion. I just go like, there it is. There's God. Well, it's just, everyone's projecting and everyone's, you know, everyone's.

Why do you think like, uh, I think that's really interesting and I'm not political at all. I'm apolitical, but I think it's really funny because it's like the far left is always like, um, racist, you're racist. And then they get caught being prejudiced and then they're like, I didn't, that's how they eat themselves. Well, the whole thing is everyone is, everyone makes mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody.

And it's like the far right is like, all right, fucking, they're coming, they're gonna steal our shit. And it's like, is it because you stole shit? And they're like, fuck you, dude, fuck you. That's totally what it is. It's like, that's why all the slave owners are so scared of what their slaves would do,

because they know how horrific they treated them. Yeah. And if they came back even like a tenth the amount. Yeah, they're like, I don't want that shit. It would be just a nightmare. So whenever you see someone extreme, they're usually acting out on themselves of something that's like going on,

where you're like, oh, you have that problem in yourself. Yes. Like that's why whenever I hear like a conservative friend of mine go like, there's a lot more freedom down there. It's like, oh, you have that problem in yourself. Yes. Like, that's why whenever I hear like a conservative friend of mine go like, there's a lot more freedom down there. It's like, what are you talking about? What do you need to be? What are you trying to free up, bud?

And then when there's people that are on the far left, they're like, racist, you're homophobic. You're like, I think you've got some racism in you. Yes, of course. And then they always get caught. And you're like, bud, I hate it. Be in the middle, middle bud right here. Hold your friend's hand suck his dick.

I don't know. It's just funny. It's so funny to me to be holding hands and being like, all right, let her bro kill you if you're gay. You're gay. That's some gay shit. Um, how long have we did like? We're at like 50. Oh hell yeah. Let's keep going. Oh yeah! Dude, great call Mike. Edit that.

Run it back. Louis Katz. Go check it out on his YouTube page. Subscribe to his YouTube page. He's one of the funniest guys ever. You make me laugh. I love going like the moment we got to work together, we were friends. And it's just like, dude, you crack my shit up every time.

I love going on the road with people that I love watching, like sitting in the audience and watching, cause then you're like, oh, this is great. It's like I booked a show and I just get paid for it. You know what sucks is when you're having such a good time watching somebody and then you're like, I gotta go do it? Yeah, it does.