Soder - 27: End of a Boom with Colin Quinn | Soder Podcast | EP 27

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 And this fall we're doing some theaters that I'm very excited about. We're going to be doing the Queen Elizabeth Theater in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, November 9th. December 6th, coming to the Windy City, Chicago. I'll be at the Vic Theater. And then December 7th, going to be at the Turner Hall Ballroom in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Milwaukee. I remember that from the movie Wayne's World.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Alice Cooper hits him with that knowledge. Remember that? I'm old. The internet is forever. It's immortal. They could be watching this on another planet 30 billion years from now. And it's all comments. What's real.
Starting point is 00:00:36 What we say or what people are saying about what we say. Notes, flags, comments, likes, thoughts, input, suggestions. That's all that matters. What Henry Ford did with the car, that's what Steve Jobs did for the assholes. What did you say the diagnosis was? Um, diagnosis. I would say that I'm licensed in two states to say that he's a sociopath. He's going to be in therapy for a while.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Who are these people that? First of all, your identity is not even who you are. Your identity is who the government says you are. Your personality is who the people that know you think you are. Your reputation is who the people that don't know you think you are. Your social media profile is who you think you are. And your browser history is who you are. I mean the first question I obviously want to ask, Kendrick Lamar versus Drake, where are you at in the beef, Colin?
Starting point is 00:01:41 Who do you got? Oh my God. I didn't really even know there was beef. No, this is fun. I'm fascinated about your opinion on AI. You're the one guy that I haven't got to sit down and talk to. What do you think about AI?
Starting point is 00:01:54 Because there was a news story I read today. You know they're doing a AI priest. What? They did an AI priest and he got defrocked. Why? Because he. I have to ask why? Well, it wasn't molesting. So that's actually kind of nice.
Starting point is 00:02:13 You know, one of the best things about when my brother, my brother was just Bishop Ford. And I didn't know that. Yeah. So he was starting a basketball team. He was a great ballplayer. Yeah. He played college or anything. But he, he went to Bishop Ford and the priests were always... There was always these stories. They're always like, you know, you didn't have to fall for them, but they all knew. It was an open secret.
Starting point is 00:02:37 But anyway... Are there priests like catcalling the basketball players and stuff? No, but just, you know, stopping by after the game and, you know, in the locker. And but but here's the best part, which none of us noticed at the time because it didn't like 1980 or 79. My brother's team would come out to, you know, you come out to a song sure and they run out music, which they you'd hear. It's raining, it's pouring. and they run out music which they'd hear it's raining it's pouring and they come out to enough is enough by barbus try sand and Donna Summer. What? They're coming out to it. Two of the biggest gay icons in history.
Starting point is 00:03:15 And they come running out to it. Disco queen and Babs. They were the most iconic and I remember even at the time going that like we didn't think of it in that terms that I was like this is kind of a curious choice for a song. I don't know if it's just pumping up a bunch of boys to play basketball. Yeah. But you just look over and the priests are like, can you come out to its raining men? Sadly they weren't allowed to attack. I have a lot of sympathy for the priests. I feel like the priests, it was like all the molesters, some of them were chameleons like any other of those fields. Sure. But for the most part, they were, in my opinion, they were gay guys who were told when they were 12. That's a sin. You're a
Starting point is 00:03:55 priest. Yeah. Because he's the kid that won't play sports. Yeah. So like the parents freak out. He's the kid that wanted to hand out snacks to everyone. Yes. So they, they pushed them into the priesthood. Well honestly if you think about it the pipeline of young closeted gay men into priesthood makes sense. They love secrets. They love telling long stories. They love handing out snacks.
Starting point is 00:04:19 They're like hey push all that down. Push all that down. That's exactly what happened. That's what I feel like what happened. Do you think there's more child molesters that are priests or music producers? I know. Who do you think, cause I think like
Starting point is 00:04:32 that's probably the new gateway now, is they're like, they saw Lou Pearlman and they're like, Was he the one that was just? Yeah, he did all the boy bands and then everyone was. Oh my God, was he a psycho, yeah. But they showed a picture of him and you go, well of course. I know. He looks like, he a psycho? Yeah, they showed a picture of him and you go, of course. I know he looks like he just looks like a he looks like the guy that does the numbers for the mob that they have to cover up the fact that he's fucking the neighborhood kids.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Oh my God. Yeah, he does. Like the mob is like, hey, you guys stop touching these kids. Oh, God. Lou Perlman. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know about him. In sync Backstreet Boys. Jesus. Oh, town. He made a lot of them. Yeah. You expect a couple of stories. Perlman yeah yeah I know about him in sync backstreet boys Jesus o town he made a lot of them yeah you expect a couple of stories could somebody leak a story well I bet that would those were probably around the time NDAs were
Starting point is 00:05:13 popular because yeah but you can't make 12 year old boys sign NDAs you can't if you give them the right kind of toys or like you know a trip to Disneyland oh my god sign this and's part of the Disney training. Yeah, it might have been. Because I've never doing Disney gigs in the 90s. And they would literally like make jokes. I was on Disney property. Sure. And so a lot of the employees at Disney and you try to bust balls and crowdwork
Starting point is 00:05:39 them. Yeah. And they're just like, we can't talk about any. We can't make fun of anything to do with Disney. You don't know who's in this room. Yeah, they, when I was, when I was like still a waiter, I got hired to do this gig at ESPN's family night. And this was right when they were like, hot. This was right when they were acquired by Disney. And it was like, you're gonna be basically like
Starting point is 00:06:02 an American Idol for a talent show for the people for ESPN. And they paid like way too much. It was me, Marcellus Wiley and Sherrod Small. The first time it was me, Sherrod Small and Artie Fuqua. Oh my God. And Sherrod Small said one of the dances made him moist and then they didn't let them back next year. And they're like, it's Disney. You can't say that. Cause they are, they're very strict. It's almost military. Yes, they're very serious.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Because they want that money. Yeah. They know how they get their money is by being squeaky, squeaky clean. Well, they used to be. I don't know now. It's a different, there's different standards of squeaky clean, apparently.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Yeah, it's starting now, like starting to say shit and all that stuff on TV. When you first got on TV remote control on MTV But saying like ass was crazy. You couldn't say ass, right? Yeah, I guess so. I mean, yeah You were the bad boys. We didn't even think about it. Well, I used to smoke on TV Oh, that was one of the saddest moments was when these guys came up to me Several times. Oh, my God. I started smoking because of you. I was like, Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:07:07 When was it just natural? It wasn't even like a question that you were going to smoke while you were. Well, that old that old show was based on we didn't want to do it. So everything we did was with a bad comedian attitude. And it worked because kids love that kind of attitude. Yeah. Twelve to 20 year old kids love comedian shit attitudes. Yeah. Fuck you. I don't want to do that. They don't like our jokes. They just like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Yeah. We had we had very childish attitudes. I certainly didn't. Kenny did in a different way. And so everything we did was kind of like, yeah, we're we don't want to be here. So we're going to break whatever rule. And then kids click with that. That was part of it. I would say that was almost the entire energy of MTV especially even when I was young it was like hey Hey music industry. Here's a kind of a fuck you, but also we're playing we're playing your video Well, yeah in the 90s in the 80s when when MTV first started people don't know it was like the most people would just
Starting point is 00:08:02 You couldn't move for the TV were transfixed that all these videos will happen. Well, they pull Thomas Dolby like eight videos and you just like this is the most in best thing ever Dire Straits doing 16-bit animation. Yeah, and everyone's like this is Incredible and I feel almost bad for kids now because they don't have I mean, I guess YouTube is the closest they get to it but not in a way of like MTV was kids now because they don't have, I mean, I guess YouTube is the closest they get to it, but not in a way of like, MTV was genuinely dangerous for a little bit. Like when I was growing up, I wasn't allowed to watch it.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Beavis and Butthead showing like the grunge in hip hop. My mom was like, you're not watching MTV. Right. Because you're too young. You're too young to be exposed to that. but that made me want to watch it even more of course and then now it's just 16 and pregnant I know now you just turn it on it's just kids making bad this now it's for adults to watch kids making bad decisions I can't even think I can't believe MTV so you know I mean still
Starting point is 00:09:01 exists well they do the thing now that all cable does where they have one show that they just play constantly and then occasionally, for them it's like ridiculousness. And like Comedy Central just plays South Park and then occasionally does a daily show. That's funny. And that's all cable is now. Wow, it's so sad. Yeah, cable has became the internet.
Starting point is 00:09:21 It's like vice versa. Oh my God, you're right. That's a good point. Where the internet is cable. Where you're like, I can watch anything're right. That's a good point. Where the internet is cable. Where you're like, I can watch anything I want. That's a great point. And cable's like, no, here's one show. But the AI priest, the reason I brought him up.
Starting point is 00:09:31 The AI priest, yes. He got defrocked after, so basically a Catholic charity, they launched an AI priest. And then they had to defrock him only a week later after he went rogue. And he's taking confession and giving odd interpretations of scripture. And what got him in trouble was,
Starting point is 00:09:49 he said babies could be baptized in Gatorade. Which is such early computer thinking that we think is cute still. Right. That truly terrifies me. But maybe he got, you know what I mean, he was probably sponsored by Gatorade or something. Now we're seeing the now we're seeing the connection of corporate sponsors and AI.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Well, you know, it must have happened. Somebody was talking about Gatorade and they brought it up. And then it just popped into the. Yeah. But where is it? But it's starting to get to the point where more news stories are popping up now about like weapons systems. It's Terminator. Yeah. Where they're saying like weapon systems are starting to happen.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Cause right now AI is in the cute phase. Yes. Oh, you can write a paper. It can write a paper for you. Yeah. Oh, look at it. Try to write jokes. Yeah. And then the students going to be like, we can nuke Ukraine if you want us to. Yeah. If you guys really want us to. What about, did you watch the Carlin AI? No. I watched it, yeah, it was the whole thing. Is it terrifying?
Starting point is 00:10:53 It's scary because even though the jokes aren't really, jokes, the connections are all there. It sounds just like them. It looks like- Oh, the Carlin one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did like the Carlin one. Yeah. Yeah. They did that on on Will Sasso's podcast, Dudezy. And they're also the ones that did the Tom Brady stand up thing. Remember when they did the time where they said, like, Tom Brady's doing stand up
Starting point is 00:11:15 and they released a whole special. And then they went and did Carlin. But Carlin thing to me, what I did, I watched half of it. What took me out was as a voice guy they didn't get the voice right. Oh of course. So I was like that's not Carlin's voice. If they would have had I've heard AI that does perfect interpretations of voices. Right. That gets me to like. But what did you think of the material. It was weird. It was weird. It was like it was almost jokes. It was like watching someone like this. like this, and you're like, oh yeah, that was a setup and a conclusion but not necessarily a joke.
Starting point is 00:11:47 It felt like when someone speaks English as a second language, like their first attempt at writing English jokes. Well, because it's, I guess what comedy becomes is what the surprise, the unpredictability. So his things were logical conclusions. Yeah, it was all. And maybe so what makes comedy is when you just surprise people. It was 1984, like, where it was like,
Starting point is 00:12:10 I can't let you do that. And you're like, why? And you're like, that's not a logical conclusion. But I, this idea that they're bringing back artists who are dead, there's a reason, like, let them be dead. Let new people, that's my big problem right now is I don't feel like baby boomers are retiring. They're not going away.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Look, you're talking to one. Yeah, go away. No, but I'm saying comedy is a thing where the older someone gets. No, you're like this, no, no, but comedy is different. It's not you, it's like when you say in the room, you know, and you go like, I hate Germans. They go, my father's German.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Well, not all Germans. Well, they're like, he goes, I'm sick. Are you? They're like, I'm sick of these goddamn people. And they go, I do that. You go, you didn't let me finish. I'm sick of doing it. Where you just catch yourself and you go.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Judging those people. At any moment you could have gone, you know, Loulman's my cousin and I would have gone, and it made a lot of good music. And that's what we're not talking about. People criticize. And you know the Perlmans are good people. It's easy to set up the sidelines.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Well, I know there's nothing out here. Are you not a boomer, are you? Yeah, I'm 64. When does Baby Boomer end? Because here, all right, this is an example. I'm a millennial. but I'm early 80s. So for me, I'm 40. But it's cool to be a millennial rather than Gen X, you know?
Starting point is 00:13:33 I think, where is Gen X? Let's come together and shit on Gen X. I'll tell you right now. Where the fuck are you then? Gen X is 1964. So you're on the cusp. Well, not really. You could pose. I mean, yeah, I'm not gonna say like boomer like the old boomers, but you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:13:49 My mom is 48. Right. She to me is like, that's a boomer. That's like the Trump Biden. Yeah, that was the Vietnam. Yeah, the whole thing. Yeah, like got drafted into Vietnam. Yeah, that's the real boomers.
Starting point is 00:14:01 They're trying to hide the racism now. They're the stars. Everybody always says that. Boomers, everybody's like, oh, they're racist. They're trying to hide the racism now. They're the stars. Everybody always says that. Boomers, everybody's like, oh, they're racist. They're not. I can't take it anymore. It's a lie.
Starting point is 00:14:11 They weren't racist? No. Why? Why? Because everybody, I'm saying, those 1948 people. Now you're defending boomers the way I defend the young millennials, where I'm like, no, hold on a second.
Starting point is 00:14:23 They work hard. Yeah. Because everybody just decided this lazy, oh, the millennials where I'm like, no, hold on a second. They work hard. Yeah. Because they've decided this lazy. Oh, the racism is like, oh, please. Yeah. I'm well, you know, greatest generation. Now, there were some racists. Yes, I'm a racist. But I mean, my grandmother tried to act like she wasn't racist.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah. Born in 1927 in Muskogee, Oklahoma. And then she moved to San Francisco when she was 16. Like I always say, like a Joe. And she would do this thing where he would be like, no, I'm not racist. And you're like, well, you had to have some prejudices. There were a prejudice generation. Sure.
Starting point is 00:14:58 I mean, we're talking about, that's why they got so many priests. What's that now? That's why so many priests, gay priests had to be priests because they weren't allowing gay people to be around. Yeah. But you're saying boomers, not racist. No, I'm just saying everybody's it's very easy to be like, oh, racist. And it's just, you know, the whole term is nothing above me.
Starting point is 00:15:19 The term racist. Yes. Yeah. Because you want you want specific like it's beating it. Yeah, exactly. You're thinking Klansman. the term racist? Yes. Yeah. Because you want specific like. It's beating it. Yeah, exactly. You're thinking Klansman. Well, no, I'm saying not only am I thinking Klansman, but everyone's like, that person is subliminally racist. And the most racist are the people that say they're not racist.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Then you're really racist. And it's like people that go, I'm racist. You look a little better because you acknowledge your racism. The levels and layers of this self-flagellation are starting to get on my nerves. That's what I'm saying. It's like Hot Ones with Hatred. What's that now? It's like Hot Ones with Hatred,
Starting point is 00:15:49 where you go, this is a little bit of hatred. Yeah, but there's what I'm saying, but it's like the standards shift in every conversation, and I'm really not part of the new white self-hate movement. No, no, no, the white self-hate movement of, I suck because I'm white, has always stunk. Well, that's what I'm I'm saying is what's happening. So these boomers.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Listen, we make great linemen. We make great kickers. Listen, these boomers, by the way, let's think about 1948. You mean the people that protested civil rights that went down south or the people. Woodstock. Or the people that went to Woodstock or the protested the war. Are those these rabid rednecks everyone's talking about? But I also think you have a skewed view because you're from Brooklyn, New York.
Starting point is 00:16:26 That's true. Where there was a mix of people. There was a mix. Not like, you know, my mom's from Fresno, you know. Now my dad grew up. Fresno Bulldogs. Go Bulldogs. My dad grew up in Oakland, so my dad was around.
Starting point is 00:16:40 But my dad saw the divide of. Of course he did. The East Oakland being black and then Oakland and then Right, and then they moved out to Walnut Creek and that first kind of version of suburban flight Yeah, which was the old was the greatest generation and the older boomers sure But I think it was racist to move out of Oakland in the 1960s. Sorry It might have been because it was a fucking Sorry. It might have been because it was a fucking decaying city.
Starting point is 00:17:05 I mean, you don't want to stick around Oakland while it falls apart. Yeah. So you've said running Huey P. Newton for mayor. That gives you a hint. You're not necessarily well, I don't know. Maybe Sonny Barger's got some points, you know, but you're you know, that's what I think is interesting is how history is always a cycle and you always just see things come around.
Starting point is 00:17:27 And the more you've been around, the more you've seen things like in the 90s. Now everyone loves to flog the whole PC movement or whatever. But you saw it originally when it was on campuses and shit. It was a little more contained in the 90s. In the 90s? Yeah. Yeah. It was more like liberal college students. The first the first person that brought it up to me.
Starting point is 00:17:47 And I'm ashamed to say this because it doesn't make it's just I'm ashamed to say was a comedian friend of mine, Rich Voss, who goes, I did a gig and he made some joke about Asian kids being good at math. I was still the boss is the canary in the coal mine And he goes and something else, you know, I make these jokes they don't like it I'm a legend He still calls himself a legend And uh, and and he said and some professor in the back was just passing through Because they weren't even at the show and they were a big big letter that was published in the school newspaper. I still remember Villanova, where if you're
Starting point is 00:18:29 a Knicks fan, Villanova is very hot school. Well, yeah, because you're loving Brunson and the other three players they gave you. But that's where it was, if memory serves correct. Yeah. But you know what's crazy is I always hate, just as much as I hate the white hatred movement, I hate the idea of like, oh, I can't do jokes there because they're not ready for it. That idea that somehow we're too dangerous in the way we're thinking and maybe that, oh, maybe the joke's insensitive in a way that I can make better. Well, I mean-
Starting point is 00:19:02 Like not taking notes. But the point is, yes, I know what you're saying. But the point is all the idea that there's a double, like you have to worry about getting a laugh and then another layer of people reacting that weren't there and they laugh. That sucks. And that's what goes on.
Starting point is 00:19:23 And that's what a lot of social media is. Of course it is. Where people get in trouble because someone sees a clip that's not even intended for them that just comes across. They're basically that professor. They're just walking through. That's right. They're walking through. And they see a clip and they go, what the fuck is that? I had a lady, I did a show at Davidson College, Steph Curry's. Steph Curry. Yep, Steph Curry's alma mater. And it was right when the Freddie Gray thing happened in Baltimore. So Facebook was still relevant.
Starting point is 00:19:50 And it was cooking with all this like, oh, fucking history, white people are terrible. And I did a joke about a corporate takeover of New York City. But as a white guy, I have to admit, I like when I see a Starbucks in a tough neighborhood because those are white people embassies. I said, you go in and you're like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:10 It's funny. Yeah. Funny first. That's funny. Yeah. And this woman, this girl lost her shit. Like started, was so upset. She was shit.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Well, I found out and Julia Rossi, great comic who lives in LA, she was opening for me and she got mad originally at Julia's joke about how her Italian immigrant mother is racist in a very specific way. And then I did that joke and this girl, I get off stage and the lady that like handles you at a college, she goes, there's a student here that wants to talk to you. And then like a shelter dog brought her forward and she was like shaking. And she was like, you are so racist.
Starting point is 00:20:53 And I said, well, I'm not, let's talk about it. And she was like, brought up the Starbucks joke. And then as she explained it to me, in my mind, I don't know if you've ever done this, when someone's mad about one of your jokes, you go, that is a good joke. You're like, think, and you're like. The way it moves.
Starting point is 00:21:08 That's the bottom line of comedy, it's a good joke or is not. Yeah, and then she finally admitted by the end of the conversation that she had been on Facebook all day, and it basically got her all riled. Worked herself into a lather. Yeah, and then she came to a show,
Starting point is 00:21:22 she was walking through the student union and saw there was a show and sat down and saw Julia do that and was like she can't say that and then saw my joke Yeah, and that was and you're like, oh when you finally peel back all the layers to the problem You're like, oh you were just on social media gassed up This is one of my theories which is what the internet did it created these worlds that aren't supposed to clash Yes, so for example, with porn. Porn used to be, you had to go to Times Square,
Starting point is 00:21:50 Yeah. you had to masturbate, Times Square, and you had to acknowledge that this is a place where sickness goes on. Yeah. Now, you can porn right now on your phone. Yeah. Well, what I'm saying is it can creep right into your pocket. I remember my time, not Times Square,
Starting point is 00:22:05 was I had to go to a place called Newsland and get my friend who was 18 to go in and buy me a tape that came in a box that was this big. And then drop me off at home and go, what are you gonna do? And I'm like, I don't know, leave me alone. How about that? My mom doesn't come home for work for an hour. And then now it is, it's so quick.
Starting point is 00:22:25 That's right. Well that's why they're also selling, I don't know if you've seen this, they're advertising blue chew, basically Viagra, to men in their 20s. Because they're addicted to porn, they're addicted to jerking off, and now they're not.
Starting point is 00:22:38 I didn't even make the connection why blue chew was like a popular podcast advertising. Yeah, because it's for guys who are like, hey you jerked yourself clean. Wow. Until your teenage years. It's really weird, huh? Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:25:37 hey, you jerked yourself clean. Wow. Until your teenage years. It's really weird, huh? Yeah. Now, the special, this is my question for you, because you do the special, Our Time is Up, out now really weird, huh? Yeah. Now, the special, this is my question for you, because you do the special, Our Time is Up,
Starting point is 00:25:47 out now on YouTube, go watch it, in front of all these therapists and psychologists, was there anything that they said about your material? Because what's great about it is, you did kind of like a real world confessional with them diagnosing you, but also. Oh, you saw it? Yeah, homeless pimps sent me a little copy.
Starting point is 00:26:08 But at the end, there's more in depth things. Was there anything that they said that surprised you? Because they're watching all of this. They're watching porn get seeped in, hatred get seeped in, all this stuff is touching you at home where you used to have to go to a place to get it. But was there anything they said about me?
Starting point is 00:26:28 You had that like surprised you where you're like yeah I mean well they said I have a lot of them kept saying I had what was it I can't remember the term but it was a it's a condition which I probably do have but it's sort of in it's sort of in ADD ADHD combined with like verbal the way I'm speaking right now so they were kind of saying that. Were they so basically they were kind of saying like your brain works so fast it trips up your mouth. That's all I want to look at is. But then it also doesn't that make you kind of feel better for anyone that's ever criticized
Starting point is 00:27:03 you in a way where you go like were they're trying to talk shit to you and you kind of go, all right, well, you're not wrong. There's a medical diagnosis for that. No, it doesn't mean you feel better because I know that you could. It's one of those things you could control to a degree. I can't control it on stage. I can't control it on stage. But I'm saying when I shoot stuff, I probably can control it.
Starting point is 00:27:24 But yes, I don't know maybe feel better because I don't want it I didn't give it to comedy to do things you know if I want to be a performer in plays or sure I would speak try to slow down and communicate I'm just trying to be myself as you are yeah that's the whole charm of this business I would also probably say that's one of my favorite parts of you as a comedian is you are Colin Quinn. You're yourself. You're yourself.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Because sometimes you see guys that turn it up and I mean especially you starting in 84 you saw really a lot of hammy like guys that would ham it up. Absolutely. And then you're like and that's. Cause that's like a stripper. That's like someone acting sexy. And then you're like, but you're not horny right now. Yeah. No, I mean, there was a, there was definitely a slick school that still exists really.
Starting point is 00:28:17 But in different incarnations. But back in the eighties, it was, it was what they call the piano tie, whatever period. But look, even I had, I had a thin tie too. It was the eights, it was what they called the piano tie, whatever period. But look, even I had a thin tie too. It was cool. It was the 80s, you know. The first time did you roll your sleeves up? I still do it sometimes.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Yeah, you're like, look at me, baby. I'm in the business. But yeah, but they would just move and they'd be like laughing and smiling and kind of charming. And it was just, I just could, I just, it rubbed me the wrong way. Like you said, I was like, that's not comedy. You're supposed to be yourself. You're supposed to be yourself.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Well, it's authenticity. It's almost like rock and roll where you can see some rock bands where you're like, like the Stones, you find out, you know, in Keith Richards book, he talks about, yeah, we put on our girlfriends clothes because we thought it was a, we thought it was a gas. They like thought it was funny. And then they started started dressing and then you see the guys that are like spending six hours
Starting point is 00:29:08 Getting ready and you're kind of like That's you know Kevin Fisher. You know the guy from Denver who's this is a comedian. He was an Xbox. He was the stones bodyguard No, he's the greatest. He just he wrote a book. Yeah, you think about having him on I would love that He wrote a book, but he's um, I just worked on the last week. I've worked on before and um Great I think Sam Talents talked about him Sam Talent might have put him in the book running the light because he put some real Denver comics in there he must have he just told him he was telling stories But he's telling the great thing is he's not telling crazy stories He's telling like sophisticated stories about the stones because he really knew them and
Starting point is 00:29:46 he really, you know, they get to, and I mean, it was blowing me away. Really? Just everything about it was just like this guy really is, he's smart. Yeah. You also want to know the stories about like, you know, about Keith and Mick doing heroin, but you want to know what they're like getting breakfast in Akron, Ohio. Well, how about this? about Keith and Mick doing heroin, but you want to know what they're like getting breakfast in Akron, Ohio. Well, how about this? He told me about Keith, I mean about Mick, every show.
Starting point is 00:30:10 In those days, they put all the wheelchairs in the balcony. They wouldn't let them sit. They just put them all together. So, I feel like Shunde over there. Every show, Mick Jagger would put on a hoodie, hide, him and Kevin would go sneak up, would never tell the press, never tell anybody, sneak upstairs to all the wheelchair section before every show for 20 years, give them A tracks, T shirts, talk to them and then leave. That's great. Every show.
Starting point is 00:30:37 You know, I've been trying to do a joke about this and it hasn't worked, but something that really bothers me now on the internet is this new kind of form of kindness porn. Like kindness porn where they like, they go up to someone on the street and they're like, oh, can I have a dollar? And the guy's like, yeah, here's a dollar. And then they go, here's a hundred thousand dollars and I'm taking you to a Taylor Swift
Starting point is 00:30:56 show and they're like, wah! And they record it and they're like, they record him crying and being like, I was going to kill myself and then you gave me this money? And then they put it on their profile and they're like check my link and you're like that's fucking disgusting because it's not that that's the it's the opposite of what you're telling me right because Mick would go do that guy let's go up with all the names yeah he's like oh the little noodle legs here's a little eight track for it but he's just doing it because he's a nice guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:25 And he's not... You would not let the press... You wouldn't tell anybody for 20 years. But that's what I'm talking about, the authenticity. There's a lot of people that would have done that, that would have like tipped off a PR guy, or a PR guy goes like, hey, you should go watch the Stones. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:31:38 The Boston Globes up there going like, well, Mick Jagger is not just a drug addict, he's also... Isn't that wild? Because a lot of the press stories about Mick Jagger and Keith Richards was like they were menaces. They were like, they were a problem. I don't know if they, they seemed relatively, considering who they were. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:51 I feel like I'd really, well the famous menaces were Led Zeppelin. Yeah I mean they're... Everybody said they were just animals. Yeah they're just break shit. And just like, ugh. Any band where someone drank themselves to death, you're almost like, that's a menace. By the way, speaking of bands from those days,
Starting point is 00:32:09 Steely Dan, one of the greatest bands, everybody loves Steely Dan. But their name is so hacky to me. It's like a sexual, you know, it's like Steely Dan is some kind of a vibrator or some, yeah. Hold on, I'm looking up with Steely Dan. Look up Steely Dan. The sex term because-
Starting point is 00:32:21 But it really just makes me angry. Because you're like, you're such a good band. Why have such a hacky name? Because as you know, musicians are not funny. Just like we're not musicians. Yeah. So if I go up to, if I went up to Steely Dan and told them the bands I love, they'd be like, this guy's a hack.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Yeah, it's a sex toy. I'm a hack, it's a sex toy. Yeah, it is a, it's an X-rated reference. It's cor sex toy. Yeah, it is a it's an x-rated reference corny. Yeah It's I'm trying to think of what see what the sex toys Yeah, why do they call them? It's a Steam powered mechanical dildo Come on you guys make great music. Yeah, you can't go with a better name like some bands have good names like I
Starting point is 00:33:02 Don't know well, there's like I just found out Better name? Like some bands have good names, like, I don't know. Well, there's like, I just found out the band Weezer is called Weezer because that's what River Cuomo's stepdad would call him, cause he had asthma. He like had a breathing problem. So he'd call him like, we, you know. And I like shit like that, where you like find out.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Yeah, I like that stuff like that when you find out. But I mean, as far as authenticity goes, when did you see, you know, cause the 80s, you have that huge pop. When you start at 84 and then the bubble bursts around what? Like 93? 92. Well, I'll tell you.
Starting point is 00:33:32 I love it because every, and in like comics, you and Voss and all them know like when the bubble burst. Well, the bubble burst was in 85. But, if I may just correct him on that. He goes, that perfection from Villanova Ruins Everything. You know, the first time I walked in the voice, I didn't even he was with this guy from I can't believe his name, Frankie Bastille.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Yeah. And he had a black heart tattoo and he's supposed to be a Vietnam veteran. And I went on. Voices were they walking like the rock stars and this was Jerry Crowe. Yeah. What? And the red tail was this Jerry Crowe Voss. Yeah. What? And the rat tail voice, Jerry Crowe and Rat Tail. Jerry Crowe and Rat Tail. Oh, fuck. And two most disgusting haircuts on a white guy. But he he it fit him perfectly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:18 And then I just remember going, who's this goddamn guy? Because Frankie Bessie, I loved. Yeah. Frank Bessie was a great guy. And but then for the first time as a voice. But what happened, here's when you knew the comedy boom died. We were all at Catch a Rising Star in the window like Amsterdam Hookers. I'm talking about Chris Rock.
Starting point is 00:34:37 I'm talking about even Jerry Seinfeld was there. All the comedians of the late 80s, early 90s in the window at Catch Your Eyes You Saw, First Avenue and 78th, everybody would open it was the boom of that block First Avenue everybody would open their worst bars and they'd be lines of young people just get out of college all move to that neighborhood. Sure. So you'd be watching streets with every kind of customer and they would just look at this comedy club and just keep walking and that let you know it was a real it was over. Did that hurt?
Starting point is 00:35:10 No, but it was it was good to see it that way because you really saw reality. This is over. Yeah. You knew the boom was over. Did you see guys freak out? Did you guys did you see guys? No, because it wasn't like now, the boom had been a boom. Like we knew it was a boom.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Now it's a business. Now it's like, you know, you expect comedy to be part of life. In those days, it felt like a little bit of a boom and stupid, even if they're proud and VH1 stand up, I hosted Caroline's, I was as bad as anybody. And yeah, so we- So because I keep thinking my generation,
Starting point is 00:35:43 the millennials, we keep talking about like, thinking my generation, the millennials. Yes. We keep talking about like, when's the boom gonna fade? Right. When is our boom gonna fade? Because the new boom came in, I would probably say in, oh wait, with Louis, Louis really was like one of the first guys that like, I remember people that I knew
Starting point is 00:36:00 that had zero interest in stand-up comedy. Right. And I remember specifically which clip, it was Louis on Conan doing his bit about internet on the plane, and the give it a second. And people are like, have you seen this guy? And if you knew comedy, you're like, yeah, it's Louis CK. But then it started getting like, and then podcasts,
Starting point is 00:36:18 all this, and now we're sitting around going like, when's this gonna end? Yeah, but I don't think it's gonna end. I feel like it's bigger than a boom. I feel like it's now a part of life. Yeah. So, but I mean, it's gonna. It's gonna fade.
Starting point is 00:36:31 It's gonna fade, it's gotta fade. Because people are gonna get sick of this, of us going like, all right, clowns, I wanna go listen to a neuroscience. Oh, I'm sick of it myself. I've hated podcasts all the time. But at the same time, comedians, the good thing about comedians,
Starting point is 00:36:46 which is why podcasts always work, is there's never an uncomfortable silence. We never shut up. No. Even, I don't even like that. That's my number one note. What's that? My number one note is shut up sometimes.
Starting point is 00:36:58 Shut up and let the guest talk, and I'm like, nah, I gotta keep filling it. That silence where my dad left, that's what I need to fill every bug of time. So that's it. But yeah, I feel like even if it ends, it's still gonna be part of life, you know what I mean? Yeah, did you see guys when, you know,
Starting point is 00:37:14 you're talking about Seinfeld, Rock, all these guys in the window at Catcher Rising Star, you knew that they were still gonna do standup, whether it goes up or down. Well, we all kinda knew we would, but I'm saying but it wasn't like it was just this crazy time like this club was the club. Yeah. Lines on a block, paint off the doorman and it was half empty all the time. Yeah you know what's crazy is sometimes I'll see old clips I think Louie put one up on his website from the
Starting point is 00:37:39 cellar in like 98 or 97 or 98 and And there were like 15 people in there watching the show at the cellar. Oh yeah, no, the cellar, we used to have that guy, I forget, but he would drag people off the streets. He was the star. Yeah. The guy that would bring people to the club. Really?
Starting point is 00:37:58 Yeah. You'd like a Pied Piper. Lewis, I remember, but he was a famous guy. Lewis Johnson, no. No, he moved to England, but he's like Lewis so and so, not gay. And he was because he seemed so gay and he was just bringing these people. And you guys got to love it because you're like, oh, can I go up like after him where there's a crowd? No, he wouldn't go on. He was he would go on. So he was just a barker. He was a barker, but he was a greatest barker. He would just
Starting point is 00:38:24 he was just funny. He was a barker, but he was the greatest barker. He was just funny. He was like a charming guy and just get people, 20 people would be there. Manny used to have the waitresses, part of the job was waitresses watched the show, sit in seats and watch. No, nice seat fillers? That was, cause he asked comedians, what do you want? They go, an audience. Cause you're paying five bucks, seven bucks, whatever it was.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Yeah, so it was so normal to be, you know, we used to do late night there for years, it was crazy. But everybody wanted to go on. It was just as addictive, even though nobody's getting paid for late night, everybody would be there every night trying to get on. But that's where the whole table came from and people just busting balls waiting to go up, right?
Starting point is 00:39:01 No, the table came later. The table came a couple of years after that. There was no table. The table started because DePaulo goes, hey Manny, can we have some place to sit? I'm fucking wedged in here with the goddamn people who want to see the show. There's no place to sit. Come in here. The fuck is this? And then Manny goes, he's right. They deserve a table for the comedians. That was by probably 1998 99. Okay That's 97. That's what everyone started. Yeah
Starting point is 00:39:30 Really demanded a told me at the Apollo joke one time when I opened for you about Patrice when he moved from Boston Yeah, and you and the Apollo were sitting at the table and Patrice was young and he came over and told the Apollo Oh, he wouldn't know he they won't they wasn't on young were sitting at the table and Patrice was young and he came over and told DePaulo. Oh, he wouldn't know he they all they he wasn't young. He was already. It was after we did a couple of episodes of what became Tough Crowd. Yeah. And he said that DePaulo was Patrice's mom's favorite comic. He goes, I can't believe my mom loves Nick DePaulo. He's like the one time Patrice was trying to be like nice and sincere and vulnerable and
Starting point is 00:40:08 and then DePaul didn't even didn't even blink. He didn't even hear me. Yeah. He goes, great. Now I know my demographic. He just looked at me. He wouldn't even look at Patrice. He goes, good. Now I know my demographic school cafeteria workers. And yeah, I trees goes like this. Oh, oh, oh my God. Oh, you're screaming. Oh, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:40:39 I love that so much. I love that so much. That was the same car. I told me my generation was too informed about comedy. And you go, that's what sucks about you guys. You guys know everything that happened. There's no surprises. There's no good stories because you guys all care too much about comedy.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Oh yeah, and that was before podcasts. Yeah, that was- Remember that was like- It was like 2009 and 2009. It was like Binghamton or something. Yeah, we were going up to Binghamton and you're like, oh, you're like, oh, you guys know too much about comedy.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Oh, it's so funny. Yeah, because we really, you know, specifically, I studied. Thank God it was like me, List, Morrill. But it was great because because you guys kept the quality like you kept us honest. Yeah, I feel like because you guys are like, you know, I mean, the subset of people I really care about comedy benefit from that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's quality control.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Yes. Which I think that's a problem with a lot of performances now, whether it be like music or acting or is that there really is no quality control. There's no gatekeepers anymore, which is great for a lot of reasons, but also the quality suffers. Yeah. Like the quality suffers. Yeah. Like the quality, you don't have any, I was so scared and I didn't get into the seller until 2011, way past. I mean, Patrice had already passed away.
Starting point is 00:41:54 It was already like, or he had. Geraldo had passed away. Geraldo had passed away in 2010. And there was like, there was so many things of like, I was still afraid of you guys right I remember the Bobby Kelly I was opening for Bobby Kelly. I was on the road with him as a feature and I was downstairs watching you at the cellar and Norton came and got me and he said come here. I gotta talk to you, and I love Jim I grew up, you know big Jim Norton fan, and I go upstairs and we're at the table. Yeah, and it's Keith
Starting point is 00:42:22 I'm a big Jim Norton fan, and I go upstairs, and we're at the table, and it's Keith, Norton, and a couple other people, and they have a moment where they go, does Bobby Kelly bully you? And you came up after your set, and you sat down, and Keith was like, we're trying to get him to admit that Bobby bullies him, and I was like, no, Bobby doesn't bully me. And they go, no, Bobby bullies you.
Starting point is 00:42:43 It's all right, this is a safe space. You can say that Bobby bullies you. And Jim was like, we, Bobby doesn't bully me. And they go, nah, Bobby bullies you. It's all right, this is a safe space. You can say that Bobby bullies you. And Jim was like, we all know he does. We all know he does. And I was like, no, he doesn't bully me. But then Keith goes, does he ever scream at you? And I go, well, yeah, he's Bobby. He screams at me.
Starting point is 00:42:56 And as I said, yeah, you guys all started going, hey, Bobby, hey Jim. And then Bobby walked in and you all go, hey, Bobby, you bullied this kid. And Bobby's like, what the fuck? And then Big Jay in and you all got the hey Bobby you bully this kid and Bobby's like what the fuck and then big Jay told me about the time you guys had the court case because Bobby wasn't paying Jay when Bobby. Oh yeah Bobby was cheap cheap cheap and cheap charging Jay. And it's like that.
Starting point is 00:43:16 We had a trial for Bobby at the table. But that's what I mean with like that was quality control. That was quality control but even Keith said it to me just last week, we're on the phone talking and he goes, we're pussies now. He goes, we needed Patrice and Nick for real quality control. Because those two, they were mean. They were mean. Yeah. But they were quality control.
Starting point is 00:43:39 They didn't like me and Keith and even Norton and Bob. This is we let a lot of shit slide. Yeah, you know what they were? They were like those dogs, like shepherd dogs. Yeah. Like how they bite lambs and then they keep them all in line or whatever. And then it's like, no lambs are getting bit right now.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Or they're like, fuck, ah, fuck. Exactly, we're like shepherds that are kind of like, oh, come on, move. Yeah, you gotta stay, you gotta. Oh, we gotta, yeah. You're not biting our asses, but like. You don't realize you need that, but you do need, of course, everything.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Oh man, yeah, and that's what it is, is you need the person to say the thing of like, oh, you stink. Yeah. I remember, nothing made me want to be funny. I love Pete Coriali. Yeah. Dude!
Starting point is 00:44:18 Yeah, when I got passed. You could probably do a good Pete impression. I can't do a good Pete. Really? I love Pete Coriali. Can't do a good Pete Coriali. The high voiceielli. Can't do a good Pete Corielli. The high voice again. He's like, damn, Pete, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:44:28 Dude, he had the funniest line on me. But when I first got past, I was bombing. I was bombing at the cellar. And I see Pete in the back hallway. And then I go upstairs. And this is like an hour later. And Pete goes, all these new guys coming around and they suck.
Starting point is 00:44:42 And he wasn't calling me out, but I felt it. And I was like, I gotta go write better jokes. And it just made me wanna go get better. But he had a great line on me. I was still smoking cigarettes and he was sitting there talking to me at the table and I had my cigarette out and Pete goes, you gonna go smoke?
Starting point is 00:44:57 And I said, yeah, I'll go smoke. And then he was talking or something and I'm like, hey Pete, you wanna go smoke a cigarette? And he goes, all right, what is this, fucking camping? I remember him flipping out on me. He goes, Jesus Christ, I've had camping trips with less planning. And he's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Starting point is 00:45:22 Cause I kept being like, do you wanna go smoke? And I was just annoying him. But it was, I think that's a thing where like now when you do it, people want to go get, you know, like they go online and they're like, this guy harassed me and said that I sucked. And you're like, or you could just take it as, I don't I wonder, my question is always like,
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Starting point is 00:46:23 when you use the code SOTAR at checkout. That's 10% off your order at hello tushy h e l l o t u s h y dot com with promo code SOTAR. Go get that Tushy bidet. It rules that you can find people that will agree with your horseshit opinion. What do you mean for comedians in general? Just anybody, just anybody. Yeah, I mean everybody's, everybody, well I just feel there's like a general, there's just a general saturation of everything.
Starting point is 00:46:54 So at the same, at one time everything's really sensitive, at the other time everything just disappears in ether. So I don't, this is the craziest time in our lifetime. It goes away so fast now. It goes goes away but it's just a weird time. Yeah it feels like the end of the world. It does feel like it huh? Yeah. I feel bad for you younger people because it feels like the end of the world to me you know what I mean? Okay but I mean you guys have got to deal with this. I mean I'm kind of uh I'm kind of realizing now that I'm in my 40s I always was telling Katie this, I always thought when I was younger,
Starting point is 00:47:25 like if the apocalypse comes, I'll fight for what's right. You know, the Cormac McCarthy, the road, I'll carry on the light. The best, Jesus. Carry on the light. And then now I'm like, nah, let me be in the blast radius. Let me die first. Yeah, I mean, what's the point?
Starting point is 00:47:40 Yeah, I feel the same way. I was like, people say, we gotta survive. And it's like, we're gonna live underground, a bunch of cans. Somebody that you have that you ran out of stories like eight years ago. But it does. There's a show. There was a show called Station Eleven that did a great that did a great job about the apocalypse and kind of like everything that we had that's gone or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:00 And now you kind of feel like there's so much stuff that we have now that you can see if there was an apocalypse or whatever. And now you kind of feel like there's so much stuff that we have now that you can see if there was an apocalypse that they would look back and go like Uber Eats. They're just like, oh, they could just order food to their house. Yeah. And then they're foraging for radioactive deer. Well, why are they foraging? I'm saying in the apocalypse, I don't know what they're either eating cans of beans or. What about the fact that they? Yeah, that the Uber Eats in L.A. They have all those, you know, mobile robot Uber Eats.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Oh, that's it's creepy. Have you seen one get hit by a train? No. Yes. There was one. I don't know where it was, but it's going over the train tracks and it just gets absolutely. So many of us are doing that deliberately.
Starting point is 00:48:40 Yeah. Well, yeah, they're like, go ahead right now. Just try to get these things. This is going to be cool. I'm getting fired anyway. fired anyway let's do this yeah I want to see this thing get blown up but when you do the special in DC in front of these psychiatrists yeah there were they psychiatrists I like the guy colleges you go hey you look like a social media there oh my god they went nuts and they were like he is that guy was a rock star yes yes he. Yeah, he's great.
Starting point is 00:49:06 He looked like Justin Timberlake. Yeah. Better looking. And they're the ones that do the camera thing where they're like, if you're not feeling good, do a check in. But it makes sense because now especially it makes sense. Like all these remote things, people, you know. They're alone.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Yeah, you might as well. I mean. It's the reason I said that LA, people in LA are always a little bit crazier than the people in you know. They're alone. Yeah, you might as well. I mean. It's the reason I said that LA, people in LA are always a little bit crazier than the people in New York. Yeah. They're in their cars.
Starting point is 00:49:31 So they're just encapsulated. That's right. And then they like get to a place where everyone's faking it to each other to get something out of each other. Right. Whereas New York, you're on the train next to a guy that just, you know,
Starting point is 00:49:43 put up scaffolding and is tired. That's right. You're next to a drunk Mexican worker who got off work at 4 p.m. and is just pounding coronas. That's right. And you're kind of like, ah fuck. I was literally just talking to somebody about this today. Yeah. About the train, the subway is what makes people in New York sane. Yeah. It brings you back to reality. Well you see, you look at a guy and you go, fuck, at least I don't got that. Yeah. And you just have to deal with people.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Yeah. Not, you know. I think more public transportation would bring a lot of these people back down to Earth. I mean, but it's everywhere I go, every city I go to is sidewalks with no people, big buildings, high. I was just in Dallas. There's nobody there. These giant. It's a giant city with big buildings. Denver, huge Denver.
Starting point is 00:50:36 There's nobody there. Yeah. It's getting weird. Yeah. Every city is deserted. Well, you know why? Cause now this remote working anywhere. That's what COVID, right? The pandemic. That took it to a new level, but it was like this before. Yeah. Well with New York specifically, what you see is you see all these Russian and Chinese billionaires putting money into these huge apartments that Americans can't afford, and they're just holding onto these properties. They're not coming here. They're not like, it's just these empty buildings, these empty luxury buildings, which are nuts because take the homeless and just put them in there.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Make those be our new insane asylums. And give a tax write-off to these oligarchs in Russia. That's a good idea. Just being like, hey listen, we know you own the place. That's a great idea. You won't have to pay this amount of tax if you let five schizophrenics live in your fucking three story high rise.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Because I mean, the end of, and you were old enough to see this. I was too young for this. But the end of basically the asylum culture of like if someone was crazy on the street, you take him to an asylum. Well, what happened was there was a big scan. There was a big expose on the asylum to the 70s because the asylum. Obviously, they were treating them like garbage yeah and was called Willowbrook and the reporter that uncovered it was Geraldo Rivera and it was in Staten Island called Willowbrook and it was a national name will it said Willowbrook everyone knew you're talking
Starting point is 00:51:58 about in silence and stuff like that yeah and yes so that's what probably led to the which listen just for a second, humor me, devil's advocate. We've all had jobs we've paid. At what point are you dealing with crazy people? You're not getting paid well. I know. And you're dealing with people that aren't really there that you start going like shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Yeah. Shut the fuck up. And I know we wanna portray them all as nurse And is like evil people nurse ratchet though Maybe she gets worked to a point where she's like shut the fuck up. You know what you're 100% right It's just like you're out just like you gutless bastards fuck you I got screwed over and really if you look at nerves I wish we could interview that actress. I think she won best actress or best. Yeah Yeah, so we if we interview say did you look back and say this woman probably got screwed over by some guy?
Starting point is 00:52:49 Yeah. What's your character development? Like a McMurphy type guy, probably banger and left her. That's what it is. You don't know what's going on. You know, you think about this a lot. Every job that I've had that I've hated, I've taken out something from my personal life at that job. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Whether it's like waiting tables working anywhere. I've taken out something from my personal life at that job. Absolutely, you're right. Whether it's waiting tables, working anywhere. I've just been like shut the fuck up. Bed Bath & Beyond when I was unloading trucks, I was like I'm gonna steal from you guys. Because you're a multi-million dollar corporation. Now they're bankrupt, feel bad about that. But I'm gonna take a couple pillow cases.
Starting point is 00:53:20 Because fuck you, you don't give a shit. And we don't ever. And you steal the pillowcases in a pillowcase. Yeah, that's what, no one sees that. Lou was in the pillowcase, no one sees that comment. But you don't ever think about those employees that are like, I've had enough, fuck you. No, they've had enough.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Well a lot of times when I watch videos on YouTube, I agree with the employee. I just saw one today where he kind of agreed with the employee. The guy was at Walmart and he accused the lady of stealing and then She's like you piece of shit fucking scots are and he's like well, it's at $7 is 15 She goes yeah, I think I have a fucking receipt and he was wrong And then he goes in the back and then every comment was like they should fire him and I was like, oh Jesus Christ I'm the only one that thinks he was right then one guy's like I think it was fine
Starting point is 00:54:04 Thank God this but like 80 people thought I should get fired with you There's no there's like a lot of a lot of people especially in these companies like Amazon and Walmart and all these places Where all the CEOs are making more money than any royal family ever has right? And then they're like they're turning on the employees going Can you believe this piece of shit got in? And you're like, I don't know, maybe the guy's a little hyped up because he can't afford the shit that's at the store.
Starting point is 00:54:31 Everybody's busting his balls all day. Yeah, and they're going like, fuck you. And he's like. Especially nowadays people are shitting at you. Oh, with the robberies, like Walgreens and shit. And everyone's like, why aren't they stopping them? It's like, have you seen the people who were at Walgreens? They're not pumped to be there.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Yes. You're gonna stop 80 kids from Keith Robinson's high school. They're going to all bust in at four o'clock. Keith's just in an underground lair like Shredder and he's like, go out there and eat. Steal from me. I mean, yeah, it's Philly. It's like you're gonna swoon me.
Starting point is 00:55:01 You know what I mean? But here's the deal. You don't even have a. I don't feel bad for Apple. I Don't feel bad for Prada They run into these stores and they grab I do because even though I know they were people of it's still the general anarchy I just can't accept it. You have in the West Coast. I understand. That's how you people from Colorado. We stole the land Because even in the 80s kids come swarming down. They had all these crazy gangs,
Starting point is 00:55:27 midtown, just take over the liquor store, rob the candy store. I mean, the newsstand, back in newsstand days. Is there anything scarier than a pack of teenagers? Oh, it's like a swarm, like a bee storm. Yeah, where they come in and you go, and I remember being a teenager and being like, these old people can't handle us.
Starting point is 00:55:43 And now you get on this side of it and you go, I don't wanna fucking handle that. No, exactly. Because you're tired. You don't realize older people are tired. Yes. Young people are like, fuck you. They're hyper, they're crazy. They're hyper, they're crazy,
Starting point is 00:55:55 they have bones that don't break. Yes. You know, we fall, we're in trouble. Yes. And these kids are like, fucking crowd everything. No, you're right, they have so much energy in there. And they don't look strong, but they're strong. Yeah. Well they have the bodies of adults and the minds of children.
Starting point is 00:56:09 So they're like, I fucking yeah. Well you think how stupid you were back then. You're like, oh my scary. Yeah. And how, but how justified you felt. Yeah. When you're a teenager. Yeah. They are like, nah, I got this. Fuck them. They don't, they don't understand. Yeah. Imagine being in China during the Cultural Revolution and the Red Guard, all the young kids. Those are young kids. Yeah. And they all come in and go, where's the landlords?
Starting point is 00:56:33 Who's the person in charge of this town? Get up there on the goddamn platform. And they're going like, ha ha ha ha. You want to talk about empathy for a guy? He's going, I listen, might have been a little unfair and I'm kind of coming around. He's like, God, what's the name of the Godfather? The rent, the rent, chingwent.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Yeah, exactly. Do that. Yeah, you don't, people like that, I think that's a sign of getting old, is when you start empathizing with the bosses or the employees. That's funny. Where you're like, I don't know, this guy kind of goes through some shit.
Starting point is 00:57:04 That's really funny. You're like, I don't know, this guy kind of goes through some shit. That's really funny. You're like, ah, I used to think, you know, I mean, I really did just make a case for Nurse Ratchet. You did. Who is known as one of the most evil people. You took her to the right person. Ken Kesey wrote her as one of the most evil people of all time. And I'm like, eh.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Oh, he wrote on acid at the time. This was the revolutionary thing. He was one of those, you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, I mean, you're telling me my aunt did acid because of guys like him in the Bay Area. Yeah. He was up there in Oregon. And yeah, he was the guy that was pushing all the in the Bay Area being like, yeah, do some little LSD. Can you imagine? Hunter S. Thompson and all them. I was talking about acid today. Another conversation I had
Starting point is 00:57:38 today. Did you ever do acid? I mean, I did it all the time. And you did it all the time. I loved acid. How often would you do acid? Probably in my life. No, I did it all the time. You did it all the time. I loved acid. How often would you do acid? Probably in my life. No, I'm talking about before you got sober when you were... Well, obviously. Yeah, I don't think you're doing it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:54 I don't know. Now there could be a medical treatment. One of the psychiatrists might have those. No, they used to do it as a medical. All the Hollywood stars used to take acid. Yeah. Cary Grant and them. But I probably did acid.
Starting point is 00:58:04 And I'll say mescaline and acid because mescaline is sort of a light acid. Yeah. Carry grant them. But I probably did acid and I'll say mescaline and acid because that mescaline is sort of a light acid. It's acid light. Okay. So I'd say I probably did acid 30 times mescaline 50 times. Would you do it like like my heyday of doing mushrooms? Right. I would do mushrooms once every three to six months. Were you more consistent with acid? Yeah, I did. Because acid was scary. When I was growing up, you're like, you don't want to do acid.
Starting point is 00:58:28 Acid was scary. I never did it because it freaked me out. It was scary. Yeah. I mean, I would say, I was just talking about this today, how one time I did acid and my friend comes in and he's, and I go, oh my God, he's an Italian immigrant from 1800s and he's speaking Italian.
Starting point is 00:58:44 I was like, this is so weird. And then suddenly I love that your acid trips are intelligent. Those people are like, you're a blob of shit. And Collins like, no, this guy, he comes over. You got a backstory. It was crazy. And it was so scary. Like the acid things because you feel like like you knew you were on acid.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Yeah, and you still know this is reality you knew you were on acid. Yeah. And you still know this is reality, you know, it's not reality. But listen, I have to ask you this, because right before he came in, I was thinking of Alex. Yeah. And he was saying, and I know you're probably like, I'm not a human jukebox, you are,
Starting point is 00:59:17 your impressions are the best. Yeah. So we started talking about Rodney. Oh yeah. Because we were talking about Rodney's jokes. Yeah. So did you know Rodney's, did you ever hear Rodney's joke about being an ass man?
Starting point is 00:59:28 No. Where he goes, you know, a lot of guys, a breast. I'm an ass man. I know that because every guy go out and says, you're an ass man. That's great. That's great. Rogan has at his club in the mothership. Yeah. He has Rodney's notes on the wall. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:59:47 And I was, you know, you smoke weed, I'm smoking weed at Rogan's club. And I'm sitting there and he would write in his notes, I'm telling you. So in between, like a stanza, he would write, he'd go, I'm telling you, I got a doctor, you know my doctor, Dr. Vinny Boombots. Yeah, yeah, but he probably wrote that
Starting point is 01:00:04 because he's in the zone of this is, because when he's speaking half the joke is when he goes, it ain't easy. It's never been easy. And then he goes, I've never got respected. Nobody knew it. When I was born, they came out to my father. They said we did everything we could, but he still pulled through. That was like my dad and I's favorite guy.
Starting point is 01:00:26 But that's a great impression because Rodney's not as easy as he would seem for people to know. He's a low, he's a low- But you've got his voice. No, because it's not simple. But I grew up loving just those easy ones where he goes, a girl called me, she said, come over, nobody's home. I went over, nobody was home. I'm telling you I got no respect One time there was a house fire. My wife said to my kids be quiet. You'll wake your father It was always him being the punchline which I which was the best but that's a great I went to my doctor the veni-bun boss. I told him I had a problem sleeping. He gave me a bottle of sleeping pills He said take all of them. Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:04 We were dead and then I would do like, I did woke Rodney for a little bit, which was fun. Oh, that's right. Yeah, where I, you know, that was like the classic, like, hey, I'm telling you, you know, is it gonna be a respect to woman of color? And then now I started doing like a basic bit, you know, like a bad,
Starting point is 01:01:24 bad modern comedy comedy Rodney. Oh, I love it. Where he's like, I'm telling you, these fuckboys, you know, they watch your Insta stories, but they don't touch your back. I'm telling you. Oh, woke PC culture, you know, like right wing Rodney. I'm telling you, this is getting respect.
Starting point is 01:01:41 President Trump, he's your Supreme Court, you rule right. He's Stormy Daniels, yeah, I'm telling you, this is getting respect. President Trump, hey, Supreme Court should rule right. He stole me dangles, yeah, I'm telling you, she's a whore. What age did you realize you could sue Rodney? For my dad, when I was really like, when I was like, you know, he died when I was 14, but then I stopped seeing him really when I was like 10. So I'd probably say, I didn't have the low register, but I could do the cadence.
Starting point is 01:02:04 The inflection, and you remember the jokes. Yeah, and he would be like, oh shit, that's great. And I'd always make him laugh. Impressions were always like the thing that I would take up my time as an only child. Yes. I'd watch The Sims SNL. I watched a lot of SNL and I like to like replicate those voices. That was always fun. By the way, I'll tell you one of the best sketches I'm trying to think of from your era.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Were you the 80s? Yeah, late 80s. Dana Carvey was my guy. So, yeah. So Dana Carvey was like the reason. One of the reasons I'm a comedian is Dana Carvey. That's great. Yeah. And do you ever meet him? No, never met him. And it's there's almost a it's preferable that way
Starting point is 01:02:45 Yeah, of course it is cuz critics choice is 1994 stand-up special I made Katie watch it and there's some great bit the OJ stuff that he has in there when he does Johnny Cochran Yon is a beautiful man. Yon is a smart man. If I was a gay man, I'd have sex with Yon Yeah, but you know my favorite sketch of those days was John Lovitz and Phil Harman as the actor and the guy, his agent. Oh yeah, where he's like, acting? And Lovitz was unbelievable. Where he goes, you're finished.
Starting point is 01:03:13 No, he's the agent. Oh yeah. And Phil Harman's the actor, you remember this? No. And he goes, you're finished Johnny. John Lovitz like, you're done. The industry's done with you. And he goes, oh, what's the studio saying?
Starting point is 01:03:24 And he goes, I just told you, they're done with you. And he goes, and what's more, the public is sick of you. They say they never see your face in the movie. He goes, what are the people saying? He goes, I just told you. Marshall S. Lindenberg My favorite one, and I mean it's an iconic sketch, is Phil Hartman doing Sinatra in the Sinatra group instead of the McLaughlin group. Oh yeah. And it's with Chris Rock in it,
Starting point is 01:03:47 and he's playing the guy for Power of People and he talks and he goes, I got nothing, it's all pops and buzzes with this one. And then he does, and Billy Idol's sneering, and everybody's doing Billy Idol and he goes, see that's your problem, you got contempt for the audience. That's what killed Dennis Day's career. He's like, you think you're a tough guy,
Starting point is 01:04:04 I got chokes of guys like you in my stool. And then I read the SNL book and Piscopo was like, the Sinatra family found Phil's impression very offensive and you're like, fuck you. That was the funniest. The funniest, the best show, cause I grew up when SNL started. Oh yeah, 75.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Smoking weed. We would be at a party. We wouldn't stop, but we'd put it on the background just because it was on. Yeah. A bunch of kids. And it was huge. And guess what?
Starting point is 01:04:30 Second City TV came along. Oh my gosh. And it was candy. Better than SNL. Candy. It was better. You had everybody on that. It was so funny.
Starting point is 01:04:40 I mean. It reminds me of, did you ever see Bob Hope? It was when Bob Hope, Woody Allen just said Bob Hope was his idol. So, they did a sketch where Rick Moranis is Woody Allen and Dave Thomas is Bob Hope and he's walking around and he's playing golf and Woody Allen's going, you're just brilliant and he's like, yeah, you little Jew. Like he's just making fun of him. Dude, the best is they just asked Michael McDonald recently about this sketch where Rick Moranis plays
Starting point is 01:05:07 Michael McDonald running in to do the song with Christopher Cross. SCTV was something that when I started watching it. SCTV was another level. And Kids in the Hall. Kids in the Hall was amazing. It was weird. It was just so weird that it was incredible to me you're not watching I'd be like oh yeah that's unbelievable but when SCTV came just the fact that somebody had the nerve
Starting point is 01:05:32 to go up against SNL yeah and we were like holy shit and can't use Johnny of prime John Candy he was like Johnny LaRue and they all played she was a small like town yeah live there yeah it was just perfect Canada yeah and they all played, it was a small town, and they all lived there. Which is perfect, Canada. And they had dirt bags and everybody, it was really interesting. I do feel like as a country, we're in a meltdown, free fall, and nobody's in charge, so everybody's in charge.
Starting point is 01:05:57 And that's what social, because social media, we're in a psych ward, and nobody seems to realize that. People still treat it like it's a country, we're in a psych ward. You guys to realize that people still treat it like it's a country We're in a psych ward you guys may have may have noticed because of the phone Everybody walks around all day arguing with people that aren't there We think the government's listening to us at all times with the everybody else's a Psyop or a plant We walk outside in pajamas during the daytime We take medication on a regular basis over the course of the day.
Starting point is 01:06:29 We play games and puzzles to keep ourselves from going crazy. We think, we all think we have delusions of grandeur. Everybody walks around because of the phone. People walk around all day. I condemn all... Okay. of grandeur, everybody walks around because of the phone. People walk around all day. I condemn all... Okay, you're not the Archbishop of Canterbury. You don't get to condemn.

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