Soder - 29: Greyhound Make Out with Richie Redding | Soder Podcast | EP 29
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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Three there is a there is two parents with three kids that just completely quit on a flight.
Oh really?
There's like they're kicking, they're screaming.
And they just let them go.
That's what it was.
I think there needs to be more.
They were the enemies of an entire plane.
Well they're terrorists.
Yeah.
That is a terrorist act.
Yeah.
When you have children, and listen,
I don't have kids.
I'm not one of these guys that's gonna tell you
what to do when you have kids,
but I travel a lot.
Yeah.
If you watch people give up
on protecting the plane from their children.
You have two responsibilities.
That is a terrorist act.
Yeah, yeah, right.
It's plane first, then the kids.
Yes.
Yeah.
I would, that's exactly it.
Protect the plane from the kids.
I would go, it's a three-step process.
Make sure your kids are safe, that they're okay.
Yeah. Plane, then your kid's attitude. process, make sure your kids are safe, that they're okay.
Yeah.
Plain.
Then your kid's attitude, your kid's attitude falls third.
I think the move, have you ever gotten like earplugs and a little note?
Oh yeah, or they give like little Hershey kisses and like, sorry, our little baby is
a streamer.
Yeah, but what if you one up it and like, sorry, they're severely autistic, but they're not.
I mean, so you set the expectations. I think lying about retardation should be way higher than it is.
Normalize. Because I normalized lying about retardation because I have, you know what that is
with your parents? I've like, my mom drank. My dad
was an alcoholic, but sometimes when things are going bad, you over do that to
give yourself like, wow, my mom's like, you know, a problem. But she never
knows that I do that. Only the people that I'm explaining it to. So do
that with your children. Go like.
The expectations would be so low.
If you gave out a note that is like, sorry.
My kid's crazy tarted.
He's got the tism.
Yeah.
Something fierce.
Watch out.
There's a Tardo tornado behind you.
Yeah.
And you're going to have to deal with it.
He cried the whole time, but did he bite you?
Yeah.
No.
No, he didn't.
He didn't slap himself.
He let it go. Five stars. So these people that gave up on their kids,
when did the, when did they give up?
When did they stop an hour and a half into a four and a half hour flight.
So they attempted it. So they were playing,
they're playing zone. So they had mom on two, dad on one.
Okay.
And.
They had to have dad key up on the biggest guy.
They had dad.
Mom was on the oldest, the daughter,
but then the two boys were on the left side,
and she just goes, they're kicking each other,
they're screaming, I can't.
So he goes over.
Now where were you in all this?
Directly behind dad at first.
So you're watching, which is great,
because you don't want to be listening.
You want to see what's going on.
You want the benefit of the visual.
You have the eyes on it.
Yeah.
So they stand up and switch.
Dad tries for like 10 minutes, and it just ramps up.
And both of the kids got themselves to the
like that point.
So dad just goes, I quit too.
He gets the daughter and puts her with the boys.
So they just lined them all up.
So it's just psycho row of like,
and the daughter caught it the second she went over there. It's yeah
How much older was she what were what are the ages? What are we talking about here?
So at first I was thinking like, okay, this is a baby the one that I couldn't see like maybe it's just
Teensy and like having the ear thing this motherfucker's waist high
And then the rest of them were too. I would. When you think someone is younger at acting
and you realize they're older.
Yeah, yeah.
I had a joke on my HBO special that was 100% true
about a kid that screamed an entire four hour flight.
And I was like, well, it's a baby.
I forgive it, it's a baby.
And then we landed and I was in front of it and behind.
I hear the baby go, mom, I didn't like,
and it like started talking
and I was like dude you're an enemy now you're an enemy because I'll give you the screaming.
Mom doesn't listen so he starts speaking in Spanish.
This fucking kid's bilingual.
Bilingual he's like, mi nombre es ese, you piece of shit.
Necesito.
Just lay down, do something dude. Speaking out of of control, out of control children, Myrtle lay down.
Yeah, she's in a room with people.
She's like, this is about me, right?
Yeah.
You guys are all going nuts that I'm here.
Kids more than one kid traveling.
I don't know how any, I don't know how you do it.
If you're a parent.
I just know that every time I'm in an airport and I see someone with more than one child,
my heart goes out to them.
I genuinely have the moment where we're in the terminal
where I'm like, man, I hope this just goes.
It's like a vet.
Slash, I hope you're as far away from me as possible.
Don't even come near me.
Don't even come near me.
But I do treat them with a little bit of a veteran's
respect where I'm like, thank you. Thank you for keeping that away from
me. But when they give up, so he, so the kids start kicking, the guy puts the
daughter with the, with the boys. Yeah. Then she gets into it.
It's, it's just a melee. Uh, I mean, it was unchecked for three hours.
The only time- Was there, can I ask, was there any interference
by the airline where like the stewardess going by
and being like, hey, can we give your kids some
Benadryl? Drama me?
Yeah, no, there is.
And they're just screaming.
There's no intervention.
The only worst experience that I've had was,
so I had the best and worst Greyhound bus experience ever.
It's impossible to say that you had
the best Greyhound bus experience.
Every Greyhound bus experience is just a fucking nightmare.
Dude, out of hustler, that were like a penthouse letter,
that it was a completely packed
not flight completely packed bus and I'm doing the thing where I would like lay
down is like start twitching and shit yeah everyone knows yeah and again a
while since I've ridden a bus yeah I remember whooping Yeah, you cough a lot. You move crazy.
Yeah, yeah.
What I do is I spread the wings.
I spread my legs.
So I'm like, hey, if you're coming in here,
my knees hit the back of the seat.
So we're going to be unboxing you out of most of the leg room
in the thing.
Yeah.
So that's at play.
It's a completely packed stinking ass bus and
The door is about to close. I think it did close
Opens up and then I get a tap on my shoulder
So you you got the seat next to you empty? I had it locked up only seat on the bus fight
that's a tough fight and because people are watching and you're doing the Forrest Gump seats taken and
Angel is standing in front of me She's like, can I sit here with you? This girl is
Gorgeous. She's like, can I tell you right now already?
Why you on a Greyhound got a dick?
Girls hot girls don't ride the bus hot. No, I broke in 20 hot, you know
Broke in 20 still don't ride the bus you
got to be doing hair on you gotta be doing something well the rest of the
story will let you know that she did have very low self-esteem yeah so yeah
your hawker on a bus yeah that is the equivalent of attainable we're going to
DC and with from here from Philly okay within half an hour she's like do you
mind if I sleep on your shoulder not at all oh oh and then it is wrecked lives
and she's wrecked lives that you have no idea that you are about to be in the
wake of a woman that just comes through and destroys men I mean this was 20
years ago there's got to be so many abandoned children. Beautiful woman just going like
can I sweep be on your shoulder and you're on a greyhound. It turns into
like a cuddle with her hand on my tum-tum and fully rocked up. Yeah dude
anytime someone like yeah
The the touching of a stranger when it gets like your stomach you're like, oh, what are we doing here? Yeah, I think no shoulder lady. Yeah
Yeah, you better fucking watch your hands lady. Yeah
And I mean it culminated that like for the last 10 or 15 minutes
Into DC. We're like full on making out.
On the bus?
On the bus.
Is it daytime?
It's noon.
No way, dude.
No way.
Because if I'm a seat back or two rows back and I watch, they're like, can I sit here?
And you go, well, they don't know each other.
And then just hearing kissing noises when you're like driving through Virginia and you just
hear like, no way way no fucking way I love that that's also your
kissing sound still as a 40 year old peanut butter in your mouth what do you
kiss like you're having a bus makeout don't act like this is a wedding kiss
you're having a fucking bus make out. There's zero proper about that
Hey, well, it's just a reminder that your voice is not a sound effects guy. You know my
Winzler impressive. Yeah, dude, have me do Obama not kissing SFX. Yeah, so there's so I get off
Tests me every time I love her so much, but she's like, I am sitting down.
Yeah, so, yeah, so it's just that.
We just like make out as she gives me a landline number
to call her at.
Nah.
As you would have guessed.
No.
Does not pick up.
Oh no.
Probably wrong number or whatever.
But you get a number, so you're like.
When I get off that bus, Cloud 9.
You think you're in love Greyhound is
The shit you're also like at that point
Wondering if this is the story you're gonna tell your children about how you met their mother dude. I have
Game yeah, you're like this. Oh, what did I do? I just picked up a hot girl on a Greyhound bus
Yeah, Philly to DC. Yeah. Two big heroin cities.
Asterix, she was gonna make out with
whoever the fuck she said.
A toothless guy could have been just sitting there
and she'd been like, can I sit down?
Now when you're making out,
Yeah.
are there any like promises made?
Are you going like, hey, we should meet up.
Hey, we should like hang out
No, it was just in the moment and then like, you know, I'm visiting my friends. You're visiting your friends. Let's all get together
And she said yes. Yeah, she's like, let me give you a number
Yeah, and she was probably going to her boyfriend's house
Yeah being the guy that picks her up at the bus station and he's like baby. How was your drive?
She's like, it was nice. I met a guy who's like super nice.
We just talked the whole time,
not knowing that you're like.
You guys were tongue flicking.
Also, I might have a cold.
Yeah, oh my God.
Also, it's pretty weird.
I didn't check the guy's lips,
but just heads up for the next three to six months.
So, less than 48 hours later,
I'm back on the Greyhound bus, and it's completely packed.
And I've got penthouse letters in my mind.
Well, you think you're like, I wonder if I'm going to get a brunette this time.
Yeah, who am I fucking this time?
Uh oh, it's the Greyhound Casanova.
Oh, that chemical taro is a little stinky, but I can manage.
Yeah, you're like, as long as no one's shitting in the bathroom.
Yeah.
As long as no one's pooping in the bathroom with a greyhound,
I think I'm about to fuck.
Am I about to fuck on the way back to Philly?
It's such a funny.
Or not.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Most greyhounds, it's like, survive in advance.
So the next greyhound.
This is two days later.
Two days later.
Who was the comic that had Ba I have Bay Bay's kids? Oh
We're just talking about him
And Bay Bay's kids who the fuck was I just talking wasn't Rudy something? I don't know but okay
Baby's kids were on the next bus
that some
Fucking lady has like four kids with her.
It's another packed bus and they have,
not slide whistles, what are the ones
that have the little fan that.
Kazoos.
Not a kazoo.
I think that's a kazoo as the fan on the top.
No, but a kazoo's long.
It was. It's like a little thing with a circular fan on top
No, this was it was all one piece. Yeah
Like a shotgun shell yeah, it's got the fan in the middle that technically is a kazoo buddy
And those things are great all four of these kids
Can't do that on a boss have kazo have- You can't do that on a boss. Have kazoos.
You can't do that on a boss.
And.
Whistling.
Dude.
That's the noise they make, right?
Yeah.
Whistling.
And it just keeps going.
Whistling.
Yeah.
You are a sound effects guy.
Yeah, I mean, I was gonna make,
I didn't wanna say it,
but I was gonna make you eat your shit
after you said that.
I was like, you're walking into a,
I was like, you're walking into a fucking I was like, you're walking into a fucking,
you're gonna get killed.
You just come down to Thunder Brothers.
I did.
My resin brain, I couldn't think of a word.
I was like, you're gonna walk into,
you're gonna walk into a.
Thing that you walk into.
Hey, there's a thing you over there.
I'm thinking four kids with kazoos.
Yeah.
Is worse than 13 hijackers with box cutters.
Any day, dude.
Those are your, those are cutters. Any day dude.
Those are your, those are your fucking, that's your 9-11.
It took about an hour and a half and me and a fat old black lady next to me gave each
other a look like, let's roll.
You guys flight 93 here?
You're like, we're gonna fucking drive this into a field.
I called my parents, told them I love them.
What's happening Richie?
You go, I'm about to confront a black mom
with four kids with kazoos.
Shit's about to happen.
I said farewell to the rest of my gay rugby team.
That's so funny.
Ha ha ha ha.
Oh, fuck.
That's so funny.
That's your flight 93.
Whee.
And you're like, fuck, please, God, up in heaven.
You're like, yo, throw a walk to the valley.
Miss, can you shut your fucking kids up?
It was.
Who, did anyone say anything?
It was me.
White guy, dangerous.
Only honky on the bus.
Oh.
But, I mean, dude, the eyes.
I mean, how many uh-uhs did you get hit with?
Dude, there was so much eye contact.
I mean, it was like, just any,
we're all looking around and like,
Everyone needs it.
Doing that, which by the way, that is something that white people specifically
excel at is looking at other people and sighing, just going like this.
Like every time I've looked at other white people, I go like, or anybody.
Me and Dustin Chafid went to the Conjuring in Times Square.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Oh shit, don't go in there, girl!
Dustin just keeps, cowboy hat keeps turning around.
Ain't gonna stop it, ain't gonna stop it.
So you're on this, so at what point,
what broke you to go, I'm gonna say something?
It was an hour and a half, two hours,
and they had reached a point, it went from,
it went from like pinging each other,
like one would do it, and then 10 seconds later,
the other one would do it, until they reached a state
of cooperation so that it was constant whistle.
Just one, no rest.
Yeah, harmonized.
Well, you gotta let that fucker whiz.
You gotta let it whirl.
So they were timing it so that when one peak to the other one went and between the five of them.
It's actually kind of beautiful.
That's like the Mormon tabernacle
choir. They learned how to like, Oh, they weren't Mormons brothers. Yeah, dude. And
honestly when you're a little or Methodist, a little Southern Baptist, it really is one
of those ones where if you're a kid, you're on their side. And if you're an adult, you're
on every adults on your side. Every kid is on their side. And if you're an adult, you're on,
every adult's on your side.
Every kid is on their side.
If we broke this argument down,
kids would be like, no, that's fun.
That's awesome that they were timing it out.
And every adult is like, how long until you snapped?
So it was, I think, an hour and a half, two hours tops.
So you're getting close to two thirds of the way there.
No, we're halfway probably I think
It finally that just from my seat without standing up or anything. Just can we stop with the fucking?
whistles and
Dude fucking applause break. Yeah way. The whole bus was like, yeah, shut the fuck up. That's what you need.
That's what you need.
You need those circles opening like fucking
the end of Avengers.
You need people coming through.
Right.
You need people coming through an end game.
Jumping through the war.
You need black women coming out going, oh, ha, ha, ha.
He's right.
You need that back because Thanos,
those kids are Thanos. he is right though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what?
So they applaud.
Yeah.
But you're, you're guilty.
I mean, I was the asshole, but I was very
prepared to be the asshole.
So what's the fallout?
Did they stop?
Yeah, they did actually.
The mom grabbed the whistles. OK. That it was just it was just alright be the change you want to see it was
an overwhelming amount of peer pressure it was the opposite of
The like dance like crazy so you don't get booed in a big venue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so you
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You really I know you said it was the best and then the worst Myrtle is just about to destroy every wire in this room
Because she wants her goddamn chew toy
You went from being and I know in your mind
The makeout ride was the best and the whistles was the worst You went from being, and I know in your mind,
the make out ride was the best
and the whistles was the worst.
But in reality, you went from being the villain to the hero.
You were the villain when you were,
you're making out on a bus, I hate you.
I hate you.
I see a girl, I see a pretty girl sit down next to you
and you guys are making out by the end of the bus ride.
Fuck off.
Dude, she was 13.
Yeah, she's just like, my dad says I can ride the bus and you're like...
Her braces, sure, her braces cut my tongue up a little.
Did I mention she was well underage?
Yeah, dude, that would've revealed...
She was a runaway.
You groomed her on a ride, you go, hey...
She had a little spindle stick. She goes, I took all the candy and my dolls for the wide.
And you're like, you know, DC's got a lot of fun slides.
You were the, you were the villain on that ride,
even though you in your mind.
Yeah, I was, I was as selfish as possible by throwing my
little, you were a date when everyone was getting sat
Uh-huh. You got the pretty girl. Yeah, she made out with you
You're a dickhead
Then you stopped the whistle which I know in your mind was like what a horrible ride
But there was someone on that bus that viewed you as a hero. Yeah
Hmm, maybe you gave a hero. Yeah.
Who maybe you gave a voice to the voiceless.
And someone was like,
I wish someone would have fucking said something.
And you did.
Yeah. Yeah.
I feel luckier in retrospect that the shut the fuck up
went well.
Dude, cause if it doesn't,
if you yell shut the fuck up and it's quiet you
are in trouble. You're in trouble when you get to where you're going. The luck
of making out versus not getting slashed. Yes. By a whistle mom. Yeah dude. Whistle
mom by the way that's just a bus ride to you. That's her whole life.
Yeah. She bought those whistles. They may be. Which by the way,
terrible decision. Oh,
squeezy ball. Squeezy ball something. Fuck it. Non noise making. Yeah. It's insane that you buy your kids four
kazoo whistles. And it was a choice.
For a Greyhound ride.
Yeah, it's not like all four Cracker Jack boxes
landed on that.
You can also do, you know, anything that makes noise
on a bus with your four kids,
you're putting other people through that.
For sure.
And that's why you stood up and were the hero, but-
Did not stand up, I kept my anonymity.
Yeah, but did not stand up. I kept my anonymity. Yeah. But people knew when you, with your annunciation of the word fuck,
you said it the way only a honky could say it. Right. You're like,
joy, you shut the fuck up. Also white people spazzing is a very specific tone.
Absolutely. It's a very like,
black people don't have that tone.
What if I, it's bitchy. What if I just black-sented it? I shot those motherfuckers up.
I'm not joking when I say there would have been a good chance I would have done that
in your situation as a voice guy or I would have gone be quiet, be fucking quiet.
And then I dipped that back.
Hey, Vato.
Shut the fuck up, bro.
You guys were fucking loud.
And they're like, why do you talk like that?
Try to pin it on the one Korean man up front.
I don't want no trouble.
You put your wrist down.
And they're like, what the fuck?
Or you just do like a.
You go now.
Dude, I just hit a guy today with the no English, walking to the subway.
You go Eastern European.
Yeah, of course I do.
Come on, I'm going for the cell.
No speaking.
No, I went, yeah.
No, no English.
And they goes, what?
The guy's like, can I talk to you?
And I went, no English.
And they're like, all right, yeah, we got it.
I might've done it in a Russian accent.
I might've gone, please be quiet. And they're like, all right,
this immigrant man, God knows what wars this man has seen with his own eyes.
I feel like you could do a real good Montenegro. If you,
I don't even know what that is. It's a very oafish, uh,
Balkan country. Like we, but that's Eastern European though. It is,
but the Balkan peninsula is former USSR,
but there's something very funny about it
It's it's like around like Bosnia Herzegovina. I believe I just hit him with Russian that item maintenance
You think if I'm a gold regional I'm like, I'm not who do you think I am Fred Armisen?
Maintenance guy that uh
That his catchphrase was who is going to pay me for this
guy that uh that his catchphrase was who's going to pay me for this he showed up every time with no tools except these motherfuckers right here
who needs wrench that saved me from war and you're like damn you tough motherfuckers
I had a minor leak in my sink and he turned it into I'm going to rip your
sink off the wall who's going to pay for this?
Who's that?
You're like, you are motherfucker.
You ripped it off the wall.
That's insane.
Have you ever had to, so for people that don't know,
you went on the road with Cat Williams
for three or four years.
Yeah.
But you never had, you had experiences,
but you never had bad experiences, right?
No, I mean, I had great experiences and quite a few,
am I good right here?
And quite a few close calls.
What were the close calls?
So.
Here's my question.
You're on the road with someone that big.
Are you worried at any moment they're going to snap?
Cause he's a volatile guy. Yeah.
No. Okay. No. So in that situation, I just know, I know people, by the way,
who publicly aren't,
I think cat has a bad rap for being insane because I don't think he is.
I think he's just very successful in particular with a little bit of crazy in
there. Yeah. I think that's a, that's a good way to look at it.
There's a streak, you know.
There has to be a streak
because there's not too much proof.
But I also think, honestly, if you ask me,
I would guess lack of sleep drives that guy nuts.
You catch him on three days no sleep,
you might get some crazy shit happening.
Yeah, I would not disagree with that.
Yeah.
But there's certain NDAs in
place but oh really okay yes I was like that was gonna make that makes all the
sense in the world of your cat Williams like you gotta sign this shit you want
to go on the road yeah that is a shut the fuck up agreement notice that is
retroactive notice I will sue your ass baby every pimping is litigious.
They ain't no better pimp than a lawyer.
And NDA you're like, yeah, fuck. All right. When you sign an NDA,
can we just talk about NDAs real quick? If you're signing an NDA,
you are going into that, knowing some shit's about to happen.
If someone has an NDA with you,
they are going to say some shit or fuck you or do something.
And that's the whole point of the NDA.
No one signs an NDA going like,
well, this is gonna be great.
Well, there's a reason why Jeter doesn't have any kind of
women coming out being like
dirtbag shit against him.
Cause of NDAs.
NDA and a go bag, apparently.
Yeah, but the go bag was like, I've heard stories of that.
So the rumor is that a sweatbag. Derek Jeter, go bag was like, I've heard stories of that. So the rumor is that
Derek Jeter back in the day before he was married, when he was playing with the Yankees and he was a
bachelor, he would fuck. I mean, his hit list is like Mount Rushmore. It's unbelievable. He's got
every hot girl ever from the nineties and the early two thousands. He would have them sign an NDA,
but then after they slept with him, he would send them a gift basket
with like a signed baseball and like,
like, like merch.
Like a rookie card.
Like yeah, stuff that you could,
if you held onto, probably worth something now.
Yeah.
I heard a rumor, it was just a rumor.
Unopened swag bag, original.
I've heard a rumor that a woman slept with him,
got a swag bag, slept with him again,
and then she sent, he sent her the same bag
And she was like already got this and I think that's so funny. What's the point of bagging him the second time?
Yeah, where she was like, what are you doing? Right? I got it. I already had the sign baseball
Yeah, right, which means him and his assistant both forgot that you had already made
I dug her out. So there there was there there was one tour
where I
think we did
it was like 70 cities and
He's he's very generous and he puts a guest like he gives a guest spot to a local every time
Yeah, 70 cities. How many days?
It was over six months. Okay. Yeah, 70 cities how many days? It was over six months. Okay. Yeah, so
It's on buses and shit. Yeah
The sometimes guys do that where they go we're doing 70 cities in like 81 days and you're like, that's insane
No, that's insane. Now we spread it out. So if if it was 70 cities, there was 70 guest spots and
68 of them got booed offstage.
No way.
And now on this tour.
And the two that didn't were because I cheated
and I got Brooklyn Mike and Toure guest spots.
Yeah, Toure's a fucking murderer.
Both polished professionals.
I mean Toure kills.
The rest of them, it would be like,
if we were there on Friday, Thursday night,
they would send an email like,
hey, if there's a local that would like to do it
An opening spot, you know, send them send us a clip
Now are you em seeing or are you where are you in the lineup? The first
Tour I em seed the second tour I featured and then the third one it was
host me, Mark Curry, who's a...
Shit, hammer.
Yeah, dude, Mark Curry's low key, no one understands
that Mark Curry, hanging with Mr. Cooper,
is a fucking monster.
Gee.
And is comfortable on stage on a level
that I will never get to.
He is a seasoned pro who is fucking hilarious.
Yeah.
I mean, he should be selling out arenas.
Why isn't he?
Did he just not go on the road?
I can't speak to that.
Yeah, other stuff?
So, well, let me get on track with this.
So, the game turned into that we would see
this poor, sweaty mess of a, of a opener.
How long, how long sets were they doing?
Uh, I think he would give them up to eight.
Okay.
In an arena?
Yeah.
And it was like, it was like, you know, if you don't crab that momentum, dude,
it was like, it was probably a guy that just started hosting a
local club for those of you that don't know doing comedy in an arena when
you're not prepared for it is swimming in the ocean when you don't know how to
back float you are putting yourself in a position yeah we're gonna get fucking
rolled which I have experienced when I was when I was six months in I did an amphitheater and got nuked.
Yeah absolutely laid out. I was in between Memphis Bleak and Joe Budden.
Oh! In what became known as the Free Beanie concert. Oh no! I actually got to tell
Beanie Siegel the story in person. That's fun. Yeah but so it the game turned into
we would take a look at this poor bastard and figure out
We would bet on how long he was gonna last before you do like a rodeo time. Yeah
Yeah, exactly I like nobody ever made it past like
You know two minutes or something like because why would they start and then people would smell the fear on them?
Well, especially if it was like in the middle of the show,
because it was like they just saw Red Grant murder. Sure.
And then, Hey, we brought out this local guest spot and this guy,
computers, huh?
Sex sell you ever?
Uh, and dude, he's wearing his dad.
You ever go to your in-laws house
Why people be true why people don't have seasoning
State is still like seasoning. Fuck Eddie's in his dad's suit
Yeah, so
Pimpin ain't easy. So I knew the I knew the dynamics very well of a stadium boo
Yeah, we're in a ring. You knew when you knew like
You're like an old medicine man. You could tell when the rain was coming
There's for there's about to be thunder in the sky and it was like shut up old man and you're like he's coming
And you're like, you're just coming. I'll be in cave now.
You know what's funny?
I'll be higher ground.
It really reminds me of the old man in horror movies
where he's like, no, that cabin was haunted.
Man died there.
And they go, shut up, old man.
And then you're like, I told you.
I told you he would be back.
We're going to go do drugs, Bob.
Shut up.
We're going to go fuck and drink.
And you're like, I wouldn't do that.
So, yeah, and the way that an arena boo works
is that much like my bus situation, there's a leader.
And the leader puts it out there first,
and you know,
boo!
And then it kind of goes around the goal.
Do I feel like booing?
People have to actively make that decision.
Where they go, perhaps I will.
Should I shut this motherfucker down?
Yeah, so it's like one missile goes out
and then somebody else is like, I agree with him, boo!
And then there's like a
three count and everybody else is like yeah we're with them it just the fucking
title wave hits in an action movie with the when the rock drops you go this
place is gonna go that's what that is cuz it's like yeah then it just
collapses on you.
Yeah, so it happens.
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Let's get back to the show.
So there was one time ever that somebody booed, but,
and it was in Charlotte and I was in the middle of ripping and this one guy
started going off. I had like, I was,
we were in the middle of this tour and I was really feeling myself.
So I was just like, I fuck this guy. Everybody point out this asshole. I like a bunch of myself so I was like I fucked this guy everybody point out this asshole
I like a bunch of people point it's like we put the lights on in that side and like two seconds later the lights came
on and
Had got to actually light a guy up like crowd work heckler smash this guy
And got destroyed a heckler. I got 7,000 people to tell him to shut the fuck. That's great
Yeah, but you didn't give it on film and you could title it Richie Redding Destroys.
Destroys.
Go with a full Hofstadter.
Yeah, dude.
Go full Hofstadter on it.
Destroys absolutely decimates loser fuck.
Yeah.
Heckler kills himself.
Guy fucking wants to die in his pants.
Self-evolving.
Shits his pants because he's such a pussy.
Comedian makes Heckler shit his pants like a big pussy boy.
Diarrhea doo-doo.
Ooh, diarrhea down his leg.
Heckler.
I mean, that is, turning the tide like that's got to feel good.
So that was like, holy shit, I can't believe I just did that.
Like, it was in the moment like that.
But then there was, so it's it's in
we're in Atlanta and it the the Friday night show was the best set that I ever
had that it was like it was it was 20,000 people and like could not have
crushed any larger so I'm on a total high but cat had he's 35 minutes into his set
and we just hear, I'm gonna be right back.
And he gets off stage and they all go around him
and then like 10 minutes later they send somebody up
like hey Cat has to go to the hospital,
he's not feeling well.
Everybody in the audience was like, so if he had the wherewithal to just say
Atlanta I love you. Good night people will have been like it was a short show, but that was great
Sure, but because it's cat and there's the the baggage that you know that this the
Accusations sure say sure people are like oh this motherfuckers won't crack Which couldn't be further from the truth sure what really happened was that he got bit by a brown recluse spider
like a week before and
He isn't a big doctor guy sure so that he he smoked off the poison
That's crazy, but then got a staph infection fuck
and That's crazy. But then got a staph infection. Fuck.
But the next day it's still like, okay, the show's happening, the show's happening.
And for the first time ever, they started the show
without him being there.
Yeah.
And I'm featuring, right?
And it's a shorter show at this point.
So I go on stage and I'm peeking this set.
I've got 20 minutes to do, I'm peeking this set.
I've got 20 minutes to do, I'm at the 17 minute mark,
on track for every bit of as good of a show
as the one before.
There's 12,000 people there this time.
The stage lights split and I see 12,000 pairs of eyes
follow the second mysterious stage light as it gets closer to me and closer to me and I feel tap tap yo man
do another 20 minutes cast not here yet oh no because basically you've emptied
all the clip you don't have left. And I've tightened everything up
as much as humanly possible.
So it is, they are watching you go
from a polished performance to-
I just did a 30 minute set in 17
because I trimmed all the fat off of it.
I had that happen to me about a year ago,
much smaller stakes, but the MC at the cellar disappeared.
And I thought I was doing 15 minutes, ended up doing 35.
And you're like, I already told you fragments of other jokes.
And then you try to try to go back into them and you look like an insane person.
So just imagine there's 11,900 more people there.
And I turn back around and I see 12,000 people look at each
other and they all go, oh, hell no, he's not coming. Right. And now it's just survival
mode. And all I'm thinking, that's like zombies. I'm thinking about zombies, like looking at
you and you're like, fuck. Yeah. So I'm thinking two things. One, don't get booed, because I know if one boo comes,
but how are you gonna stop that?
The wave is coming.
The other thing I'm thinking about is that
one of my very good friends from college
who I haven't seen in like 15 years is there,
that I got him tickets.
You know how you can think about
a whole bunch of shit at once?
So I'm thinking, don't get booed,
Brooks is going to see it.
Brooks is watching you.
My ultimate nightmare is about to unravel.
This is the dream where you show up at work
without your clothes on.
Yeah, at a button dick.
Oh my God.
Just a button. So dude, button. Oh, so dude, it just turned. Like I,
I literally have no idea what I did. It was just like,
someone else's act in the back of my head. I'm just like, you do old stuff.
You do stuff, dude. I was literally thinking like dance, just fucking that.
It was just all jazz hands for another 20.
Cat was there the whole time
I just wanted to watch that white boy bleed. I wanted to watch you suffer
Yeah, no fucking wild and I just oversold this shit out of it
You know, I had like three five-minute stories in me that I did you ever hear a boo?
No, not one boo.
Because it would have been a cacophony.
Like the whole, they would bring the house.
Yeah.
So did he show up?
So the host comes back out and goes,
folks, Kat had to be rushed to the hospital.
We're gonna reschedule this show
and y'all are gonna get your tickets to the next show.
Cat will be here with a whole different lineup,
blah, blah, blah, and immediately,
booooo, booooo!
Yeah, but you're safe.
I heard-
You're in the bomb shelter.
I heard what was coming for me.
Dude, you missed it.
You barely missed you.
Oh, God.
But also, immediately, I'm like, bro, what the fuck?
You don't know this?
Yeah.
This? He's like, what's that?
Like stretch!
Stretch! Everyone knows the stretch.
How?
He's like, nah, I never heard of that.
Like go to the front.
That's so funny.
And put up-
No, no, no, we just like you.
We just like you weird.
Put up a sign that says, do an extra 20.
Cat's not here.
Like it would have been hell if I was the only one that knew
and they'd be like, man, this white boy is going on.
Yeah, I respect the hell out of it.
I'm the store boy.
He goes, I bet this is kind of white boy to yell
at a black mom on a gray hair.
This guy's white boy got pink nuts.
Was there ever a moment, did you ever have like good moments with Kat?
Oh yeah, a bunch.
There were moments where you like you just sat around and talked to him about comedy
and shit?
Because I imagine his opinion, he's not a guy you know you saw from the Shannon Sharp
interview in the Joe Rogan experience.
He doesn't, he doesn't put himself out there a lot talking about comedy,
but he's one of the most decorated, one of the greatest comedians of all time.
Yeah.
So it's cool to have that, that you were on the road with him and got that
experience of like talking to him about comedy.
Yeah.
Because I think he's specifically unique
yeah, as far as
How he came up where his fame came from and how he's handled it
I mean look at what he does to himself in terms of that show that I told you of you know
it was like an hour 10 hour 20 show sometimes before he goes on
and they just got beat up.
Yeah.
And then he goes and kills on a level.
And he goes out and does an hour and a half.
Of murder.
Just gets shot out of a cannon from the second he's there.
You told me.
He said, he's like,
I want you to bury me.
Like make it fucking impossible. I love that shit
I love that shit. I love when you find out that like great comics are like no no no no no turn up the heat
Yeah, let's fucking let's really like Louie was doing the garden. We did like five shows
No
I'm Louie's child's friend. That is exactly our relationship. Okay.
He's Mr. CK to me.
Louie doesn't fuck with me, but he doesn't not fuck with me.
Louie goes like, I've always explained this.
From the time I've met him, I'm like,
Joe List is like one of his favorite people.
Shane is one of his favorite people.
I am like their friend that comes over after school
where he's like, hi Dan, and I'm like, hi Mr. CK.
You're Boner.
I'm Boner.
I'm Boner from Growing Pains.
I'm Vinny from Doogie Houser.
I am the neighbor friend.
You're climbing through Joe's window.
He's like, oh, Dan can't come to dinner.
He's never been, like, there's been times
where he's talked to me about standup
just because I'm at the table,
but he doesn't seek it out.
Yeah. But he was doing I'm at the table, but he doesn't seek it out. Yeah.
But he was he was doing five shows at the garden and he was following.
I forgot I asked him, like, who was opening his career barns.
And I was like, you're following fucking career.
That's no joke at Madison Square Garden.
And he was like, yeah, that's what I want to do.
And I was like, oh, and it's like that kind of thing where you're like, oh,
you want the challenge, right? So you can overcome it and do awesome.
Yeah. And I mean, we all without naming names, we all know people that put up some softies,
stinkers in front of them, stinkers, which I always thought.
You don't have to go the cat Louie route if you don't want to, but.
I always thought you don't have to go to the cat Louis route if you don't want to,
but you're providing the show.
Yeah. MC a lot of times it's a local. I don't know what you're going to get with that. But if I bring a feature, most of the time,
actually every time now that I can control it, my features are my friends,
but they're also comics I want to watch.
So there are comics that I immediately want the crowd to go like, well,
here's somebody you should know
because they're really funny.
But guys that bring stinkers, you're like,
it's almost mean to your crowd.
Because you're like, hey, sit through this.
He's also my drug mule.
Just so you know, this guy is smuggling shit
through TSA for me.
But the idea of like, get through this to get to me
is like, I don't want you to have to eat vegetables
before you enjoy me like
You know a whole it should be a whole show, but I love that cat is like bury me fucking do everything you can
Yeah, how did it? How are you guys now? Do you talk to him at all?
I mean, I haven't seen him in a couple years, but yeah, it's it's cool. He said he would have me on the road again
That's awesome. I don't know when that's happening. It's just crazy
How many times his phone numbers change since many times has his phone number has changed since?
I wanna, I forget what year it was,
but we were talking and I just hadn't seen you in a while
and you were like,
yeah I'm on the road with Cat Williams.
And I was like, you're on the road with Cat Williams?
I hadn't seen you in a while.
And you're like, yeah.
And I was like, that's the most random shit in the world.
I did not expect you to say that.
Yeah.
But you told me a story, he was filming a special.
I don't know what special it was,
where he split his pants. Oh
Yeah, and then he came back out in different pants. Oh just finished special
Just just kept going you told me that story when you told me you're on the road with him
I was like, how is that you're like he fucking kills. What was that special? It was it was before Jacksonville in 2019
I know that the growth spurt tour, I think it was called.
So it might've been like 2017 or something.
And it was the one where he had like actual lions
and tigers on the stage with them.
Which-
I can't even do a podcast with my dog sitting at my feet.
Worrying about her chewing too loud.
Well, yeah.
So like, you know, we're backstage running around.
We've all got the nerves of like, we're shooting this HBO special there and
we're in a, yeah, I think there was probably 15, 20,000 people in this arena.
And then, like a liger,
but it turns out that, uh, when I was watching the Tiger King, it was like,
oh, that's the guy.
It was Doc Anton.
No way.
No way.
Oh man, what a put together.
I know that motherfucker with that soul patch.
Soul patch ass having fucking animal weirdo.
I did think it was weird that he rode in there on an elephant.
He's like, I got the own Dr. Dolittle. Soul Patch ass having fucking animal weirdo. I did think it was weird that he rode in there on an elephant. Yeah.
He's like, I got the own Dr. Dolittle.
He bringing all his little friends.
Ain't nobody the tiger king.
I'm the tiger king.
I like him being like, I don't need you.
I'll command the tiger.
Take him out of the cage, please, sir.
That's so funny.
I would like to meet the tiger.
I would like to shake his paw.
I'm not going in the cage.
He's coming out. That's so fucking funny. I would like to meet the tiger. I would like to shake his paw. I'm not going in the cage. He's coming out
That's crazy. Yeah, so
Yeah, I was hosting that one and
Spike Lee was was directing it and it was like, you know, it was a whole thing
There's like the flying cameras on the big cranes and all that shit so it's intense and and and again
it's one of those where where we are all expecting okay well we're just gonna do
we probably all do five get him out there sure get him murdering yeah you
want a full show do your time no way do your time. I love it. I can love cat. Well, so yeah, so the show starts late
You got a full show in front of it. You got a full hour show in front of a tape. No starts late
Oh before got it. I got it. Yeah and
We finally get him on stage and it's like
Like everything's good. Yeah, I always always would walk to the back with Chris Smith,
his agent, we would just watch him,
like from this crazy, weird out view.
And Chris had been all nervous,
but we finally got him on, so he's like,
all right, this is going good, right, this is going good.
And he's like, and we're here, I'll be right back.
Like, oh, and well, no.
So we weren't, it hadn't happened yet
where he got on stage.
But we're just like, what the fuck is happening?
And the stage is just empty.
And at first, because it's cat,
people are like, oh, what's he doing?
Yeah. Oh, he's setting something up.
And then it's like one minute, two minutes,
a few minutes goes by and Chris is like,
there's an empty stage go get on stage
It's like what he's like go to go to go do fucking time like just wait for him to get out there his vamp
Like seriously and he like pushes me and he starts running down the stairs and I'm
Slow-walking this like no no no no no no you don't want to have to do this if you don't want to they had already
Seen me, you know, yeah, you're like I'm not doing this
Yeah, it's like dude and he's 25 minutes into crushing and then we're bringing whitey back
That's so fun. It's a no for me. So
Yeah, we I've I slow walk is as much as I can I take I go like around
Yeah, I like we need someone on stage like
Coming. Yeah, like we're like here. I'm on my way. We're here in the arena. I have to get here. So I go that way
Thank God by the time I got back, they had just put a new pair of pants on him and he goes back out. But yeah, he did some kind of deep bend and all of his shit is custom made.
He gets Louis Vuitton pants and then gets them cut by Taylor.
Love it.
Yeah, he did some kind of bend and like his whole ass was out
It's instead of doing the rest of it. He just like he's like time out
Got any new pants my butt is showing dude. I love that. I fucking love that shit
Damn, dude, I kind of want to go on the road with cat Williams. I reckon not get booed I suggest it end of every episode we have people open up a 1989
pack of NBA hoops cards.