Soder - 33: All Humans Suck with Raanan Hershberg | Soder Podcast | EP 33

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

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Like if I used to do a podcast and you could always tell how little people thought people listen to my podcast by how much shit they talk. I mean, they talk shit openly. It's like, he thinks no one's listening to this guy's given names and locations. When they say the N word on your podcast, that's when they really know you. They have no belief in you. That's like the equivalent of wearing a bomb. Yeah.

Where you're like, I'm gonna blow myself up. And you know, you're on a bus. You're gonna take out a lot of people with you. Yeah, he's like, I'm not gonna take out anyone. Yeah, don't worry, I'm not worried about no one. I'm just dying alone in the desert. It's funny to think about like having footage of that and then sending them a clip and being like, FYI. called the snitch podcast just let you know we're gonna blackball

you have a good idea for a podcast you do like really early podcasts with comics where they get like you get them to be really reverent and then you only put it out and wait once they get big the cancel podcast yeah wait wait wait I don't remember doing this I got you drunk we went got you drunk. We went up to that studio. Remember you were an open mic-er. You didn't think there was consequences. You never thought you would see these people and they're like, Hey, I don't, I can't do that. Now you're in Hollywood. Yeah. You're like, can you really? And then we do this. Cause you think we're not recording. Well, that's the other thing that the more successfully you get, the less you

can talk shit. Cause you might know the people. You know what I mean? I saw, I forgot where I saw someone talk about Lauren Michaels says that to people. Yeah, it's like, he says, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to meet these people. Yeah, I'm not doing that great. Yeah. I won't talk shit about like Joe lists. That's my level. Yeah. Well, he's your friend. He's your friend. So I'd hope that's always weird. I think of the entertainment industry where you meet people who are like, just start shit talking someone they know, and you're like, who are you? You know that person.

Like, yeah, but, and you're like, oh, fuck. Well, at least hide it from them. I saw, I won't name the comic, but I saw a comic. I'll name him afterwards. He was probably good. He was talking to a comedian, just had a TV show, and that got canceled, and he was talking to another comedian who just had a TV show that got canceled, and he was talking to another comedian in front of me,

just talking about how the show was awful and deserved to be canceled, and then I watched him immediately message that comedian had the show being like, I'm really sorry, and the show was great. I'm like, don't do it in front of me. Don't do it all at the same time. Yeah, I mean, that's like leaning in.

Yeah, you are. You're eating while you're pooping. Yeah, exactly. It's all one continuous thing. That's why I understand when people are like, I don't want to hear about the business because they all, everyone knows anyone in entertainment is phony to a certain point. Yeah, of course, because I think now people who, you know, we listen to podcasts, we watch TV shows, everyone's way more savvy now. They know, they're like, ah, that's probably not.

I'm not great at it. I will tell my feelings about everyone. Yeah, that's because you're genuine. Yeah, but it's bad. You're a very genuine person. I'm like, my girlfriend's like, you should be mindful of that. But in my head, I'm like, no one spreads.

If you were a rapper, you would be getting so much heat. be getting so much heat you back to Ronan straight for the streets. This guy goes out there just buckles people I just I don't assume there be like I always have a shit talking code where you never tell The person you talk shit about that. That's that's the enemy the one the bad guys the one who spreads it Yes, but I forget those people do exist But you know that I think that exists in offices, that exists on construction sites. That's just human nature. People are like, oh, this person did this,

but the unspoken code is, you don't go say it to them. Have you ever talked shit to someone and then find out they're friends with the person? That's bad. And you have to pivot. Well, what's really fun. You have to pivot mid-conversation, where you go, what don't really mean all of that? He's like, yeah, it's my first cousin. And you go, well, it was really fun. I had this one time on a road trip with a bunch of comics

and we're all just talking shit about people. Yeah. We don't know each other that well. So it's a little dangerous, dude. And then some one of them, uh, we should do a Patreon where I just name all these people. I would just say the names It'd be an expensive patreon because what you need is you need you call it the retirement fund patreon Because you know if we do name names, I will have to go into hiding. I cannot be public Yeah, but you put it out like when you die. Yeah, just be like release it. But yeah, it was uh, they were all talking shit But you know, it's like, it's a little dangerous. And then one of the comics talks shit about someone who the other comic,

like not only love, but opens for. Yeah. And it got so awkward. Have you ever had to stand up for someone that's being talked about before? Cause there's a political way to do it. We go, all right, all right. I'm kind of buddies with him, he's cool.. Because there's a political way to do it. We go, all right, all right, I'm kind of buddies with him, he's cool.

But then there's a moment, there's sometimes, and again, join the Patreon, that we have coming to know, and I'll tell you names after, but there was a moment where someone was talking about my friend and I went, hey, hey, hey. Like, I'm friends with him. I think that's really good and really loyal.

I, um. But it's weird, by the way, it ruins the hang. Yeah. Cause they go like, oh, you basically go like, I'm on that side. Yeah. And they go, well, shit. It gets awkward.

I mean, it's good. It's loyal. I mean, it's a tough thing cause you're being loyal to someone who's not there. So you're really making your situation you're in right then very awkward. Oh dude, I. In support of someone who doesn't know about it.

I had a moment, I had a moment when I did my HBO special in 2019 and HBO sets up like a press run. Yeah, they're like, hey, we're going to reach out because, you know, they have way farther reach than me or anybody. Yeah. A publicist I can hire. It's probably even around now. But yeah, now it is. We're not the industries.

RIP. We have more power. We have more reach and power. Now that you started this podcast, you're a little ahead of the game. Yeah, a little's RIP. We have more power, we have more reach and power. Now that you started this podcast, you're a little ahead of the game. Little ahead of HBO. But HBO was like, they set up all these interviews with magazines I didn't know or people I didn't know. And one, it was right after Shane got fired from SNL.

And we're like talking about it and they tried to use Shane as like a bad example, like an example of like, well, and I had to go like, that's my friend. Yeah. Well, that's the end. I think the line was, you've been loosely associated with Shane Gillis,

and I was like, oh, loosely, that's like one of my best friends. And then watching that woman's face change. But that was an interviewer, or what is that? It was an interviewer. Well, that I totally get. Well, what happened was, and I'm gonna remind Koppelman when he's on our podcast,

it changed the interview. Really? Because she was like, oh, she got like, oh, so you're, and I was like, here's what you don't understand when you're writing these pieces, we're all friends. Right, right. And what I said to her was, and I was like, I had, in my green room at my special taping,

I had Shane Gillis and Michelle Wolf. Because Michelle was the darling from the White House Correspondents Dinner at the time. So I go, so you love her, but you hate him. So make that math work on how we could all be hanging out as friends. Yeah, because we are the community, not you. Exactly.

And then I told that, because I went and was filming an episode of Billions, and I went and told Coppelman that, and Coppelman goes, she's gonna bury you. And he said it with such, like a judge hands down a sentence. Was this like a magazine article?

Yeah, and then she did. She did? She made you look really bad? I mean, she took me out of context, and made me look like an asshole. And I was like- Dad showed her friend to racist. Yes, well you know what I said is.

KKK apologists. I think in the article what I said to her was, I said this is the problem with comedy is now it's been gentrified by unfunny people. I said you have a bunch of unfunny people telling funny people what's right and what's wrong. And she eliminated the whole back half and made it look like I said comedy's been gentrified and it made it look like I was

Talking about black and brown people But when she said that I was like when he when he was like that like she's gonna she's gonna cook you I was like No, all right, and then it like kind of defending him, huh? Yeah, but I also got a little fired up Yeah as we do when shit talking happens. Well, here's the thing about like not funny people when they don't realize it's a hard thing to talk about but Racism is funny. It doesn't mean you agree with it. It's funny because it's so absurd. It's that that's exactly that's funny All-stupidity is funny if you want to do one of those word problems all-stupidity is funny. If you want to do one of those word problems, all stupidity is funny. Racism is a form of stupidity. Therefore, it's a form of fun. You just have to walk it out. Yeah. And it's like, now it's also too whites saying that, but I'm Jewish.

The shields come up immediately. I'm looking for one. I'm like Irish, that's broken. Sweet. It's nothing. I'm like looking what I can hide behind. I'm like for one. I'm like Irish Swedish nothing. I'm like looking what I can hide behind. I'm like a shapeshifter. I'm like x-men. Who's this? Morph. I'm like, I'm a minority now Transformers white before where we're talking about now. I'm a minority like he bruises Irish that's something we're slaves, right? Yeah, we always do that and then you just then you reach for My dad's family's white trash And I got a work. Okay, can I plug my special? I got to remember to I love it. Yeah, sorry that ruined everything now You know, I just watched your Jewish brain

Make the plug before the ship goes down. Grab the money. I'm the opposite. I forget to plug. We always make sure. I'll go on like, like Jim and Sam and we'll just talk about like transgender people for an hour and like dildos that I'm like, I was supposed to plug something. Jim hot. Yeah.

You just try to turn on Jim. But anyway, you can see my special now. Cause you know. We're, yeah. Yeah. This will be released when your special's out. Yeah. It's called Brave and it's on YouTube. Check it out now.

Ronan is a phenomenal standup comedian. I mean, I'm talking about a comics comic. I love watching him. So you're one of those guys that you watch and immediately you go, fuck, I gotta try harder. Oh really? Yeah man, you got great jokes. You're the best. Great jokes.

Your special was just unbelievable. Thanks man. I think you're very, like you are successful, but you're very, you're underrated I think. Thanks, that gets tossed around and it's been tossed around enough that I go like. I don't know, do you have bittersweet feelings about that? Well you start going like, that's right, I go, alright.

Well, but no one cares about you and you go, yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Tough was underrated because you're basically talking. You're basically saying other people don't like you. Yeah. A lot of people don't like you. Underrated is the after the comedy show. I liked it. Yeah. There was a moment.

No, but I just mean you're like so great. It's like in your last special. I mean, like I died laughing and like. That means a lot to me because. It because so rare, you know, I think just at the very heart of this and I know people hate comedy talk but at the at the very like baseline of this is it's Just like I want to be as funny as I can be and when other funny people think I'm funny it feels very good Yeah, when people are like, I don't want people to think I'm infallible. I don't want people to think I'm a revolutionary, but when people are just like, yeah, you're funny, you're like, thanks man,

that's all I really wanted. Yeah, you have, I think, from talking to you, a little low self-esteem about how good you are. You think you're like a hack. Well, I don't think I'm a hack as much as I'm very, I'm unsatisfied a lot. Unsatisfied. Every time I have a show, there's very few times

where I'm like, that was good. Yeah, you don't think you're a hack, but you're- There's moments I feel good about, but overall, I'm like, I think I have a show, there's very few times where I'm like, that was good. Yeah, you don't think you're a hack, but you're- There's moments I feel good about, but overall I'm like, I think my writing could be stronger, I think. But your writing is great. Because I think I love stand-up so much

that I'm comparing it to ghosts. It's like when you're chasing ghosts, it never is enough. I think you're better than a lot of the people who you think you're better than. I appreciate that. My own brain will not absorb that. Because I think you like, want to be like an autistic one-liner comic,

but you're just like. Yeah, yeah. I genuinely do. You're just legitimately, hilariously funny to the point where it's actually what comedy should do, where you're not even, you are a great writer, but you're not even thinking about that.

You're just dying laughing. Yeah. You actually succeed way about that. You're just dying laughing. You actually succeed way beyond that. You're like- I feel like my therapist paid you to say all this. I feel like Alan was downstairs giving you a hundred bucks. I have Alan too. You do?

Yeah. Today? Not today. I had a good one with him this morning. Yeah, they're good. He's very good. Therapy is, and I said at the end of therapy, I was like, man, this should be mandatory.

Well- This should be like jury duty. Especially in New York. Oh my, well you're crunched with so many people. I would even say though, rural people should have. Honestly, modern life. The human brain, and I was reading this article today about there's a study that psychologists,

and I want to actually quote it so people just go, oh yeah, you read an article, but I had it saved. Because there's stuff that I find where I'm like, oh, I want to talk to Renan about this but They were saying that Teenagers there's a thing now where people are saying cell phones are destroying teenagers at a rate that they never expected because they're saying they don't have any self-identity That's all right. It's drawing it right now. I like that. I go the phones know they're saying they don't have any self-identity. Oh, it's all right. It's drawing it right now.

I like that, I go, the phones, no dude, they're turning against us. Man, sometimes I'll have these stone thoughts and I tried bringing it up on Rogan and it didn't go anywhere, but I meant it. By the way, nothing ages you more than calling them cell phones. Oh, fuck, I know.

Your cellular telephone? I've been reading a book about these cellular mobile phones. Oh, you have a mobile phone. But I brought it up on Rogan where I was like, I wouldn't be surprised if this was alien weaponry. Yeah. If aliens knew, oh, we can affect their emotions. These are monkeys.

We can affect their emotions. They'll destroy each other or themselves. We don't have to take over their world. Well, people have that theory about, you know, 2001, the monoliths? No. I think in 2001, it's like, it looks thing in 2001, the like, it's like, it looks like an iPhone.

And people are like, Stanley Kubrick knew what was happening. And the post to the obvious thing that a nerd who's a fan of that modeled the iPhone after that. Maybe Steve Jobs was like, oh. Maybe it's more likely that Steve Jobs heard of 2001 over Stanley Kubrick heard of the future. Yeah, that he could predict? Maybe that's it. Maybe you do the math correctly and you realize, oh,, heard of the future. Yeah, that he could predict. Maybe that's it.

Maybe you do the math correctly and you realize, Oh, Steve Jobs saw the movie, but a social psychologist, Jonathan Haight. Yeah, yeah, I love him. He has a new book. Yeah, The Anxious Generation. Yeah, so you know what I'm talking about. I've read a bunch of his books.

I love him. Well, in his new book, he says that kids should have no limit. They should have no access or little access to phones until they're 16. Yeah. I, I, I, which makes sense because the studies done about football with brain damage, CTE scientists years ago said,

you people shouldn't play full contact football until they're 14 or 15 because of the development of the brain. That if you're slamming it around. Which means you should never play. Yeah. Don't get there yet. We'll get there eventually, but I love football too much. So right now, let us have fun.

That might be the follow through at some point. That's gonna be the follow, yes it is. It's like anything. When something's bad for your brain at 15, it's probably also bad for your brain. Yeah, you're talking right now entirely about my relationship with alcohol, where I knew I was gonna have to quit.

And then when the moment came, you're like, I knew this was inevitable. But you gotta have a little fun. You gotta have fun with it, you gotta smash into some people until then, break some eggs to make an omelet. But the American Psychological Association said in a new report that social media platforms

for designs that are inherently unsafe for children, saying the children do not have the experience, judgment, and self-control to manage themselves on those platforms, and you go, I don't. I'm 40, and I don't have that. I can't control myself. Well, it's the same thing. It's like, it's bad for us.

Yeah, it's not like, I feel like. And people are watching this on a phone right now. And so it's like this weird thing. I just went, I found the in the middle of it. My ears just started bleeding. But it does. You feel fucking nuts. You're like, well, then you can't go back to not having phones.

It's tough because it's like one of the social media is kind of like the new cigarette company Yeah, or the new like Sackler family, you know, yeah, which I've seen jokes about which are great I've seen a couple people do jokes about Cellphones are like cigarettes they can hide it behind the thing. Like you can't stop the future cigarettes could never be like hey This is the future like honestly you wonder if tobacco guys go how we should have gone. You can't stop cool Honestly, you wonder if tobacco guys go, we should have gone. You can't stop cool. Can't stop getting pussy when you smoke cigarettes.

Hey, you can't stop feeling amazing. This is the future. We're all going to be high. You can't stop it. The Sackler family remains one of those people where when I'm bored at an airport, I just like to go check in on their social media because you see them trying to post like the regular people. And there's a couple of them you could find. You can find them and they'll be like, lovely day for a vacation. And then one of their comments is like, you have blood money. Good like that comment, drive that in the algorithm. Just be like a fuck you.

Just it's so funny to be think of like, if like Joseph group Gurbals' kids had like social media. Right. How much they do. And they're just like, oh, South of France. Love that we took it over. You don't want to hear any propaganda from you or generate for you people.

You fucking wiped out six million of my people. And they're like, hey guys, don't forget. I know. Someone met a Sackler. Who was it? Someone met someone, maybe it was Louis Siqueira, someone met a Sackler, maybe it was Joe List. Someone, there was a Sackler woman,

woman who was in the Sackler family right next to them on the first class. No way. And then you go, well, I've got so many questions. Well, there was one, the greatest- It sucks that anti-Semitism is very real, but so is the evil of certain Jews. Yeah.

Said by a Jew. All right, industry, if you ever come back, understand. But of course there's horrible people in any. Yeah, but there's like, that's why you can't say one group is all good or all bad. No, everyone's everything. There's like an interesting, there's like books that I have about,

there's a book called The Heart of Everything That Is about the Western Sioux. And in the beginning of the book, they go like, hey, hey, hey, don't do this thing where you think Native Americans are all, oh, we just ate off the lands over there. Some tribes were super into gang rape and murder. And you're like, whoa.

If you read, what's it called, Sapiens? They talk so much about how Native Americans are. Or not. Dude, Katie had to put that book down because it was bumming her out. Every chapter, she's like, God, we're just inevitably fucked. It's also really funny.

Like, I don't know. He has like these really good standard premises. Really? Yeah, it was like, you're almost like tempted to be like, should I use this? But you see, like, you're almost like, tempted to be like, should I use this? But it's like, see, like, you know, the whole premise, I think it eventually did become a Mark Norman, not that he took it from it.

I think something similar to something he said, but like, it was a whole joke about like, it's amazing that when we go to, when we, it's all about like how we all need like myths to like develop civilization. It's like, amazing when we're on trial, we swear that we will not lie on a book full of lies. Yeah, that's funny.

And I'm like, that's a good stand up. That's a great stand up premise. But it is, I mean, I think there's like this whole thing of you try to take the past and make it be like, well, everyone was good. You know, I had that with my dad. My dad was a horrible dad, alcoholic, abandoned me. That's how you went from global to real personal.

But I think the example, that's how you make it. That's how you put feelings into it. But I remember when my dad died when I was like 14, I was like, nah, he was the best. He was funny, he was cool. And then as you get older, you go like, oh no, oh shit, no. And I think that's like any group or anything in general, there's good and bad on all of it.

And so to think that, because I think a lot of people, when you look at how Native Americans just basically had their land stolen and just taken from them, were like, oh, but they were so into nature and they believed, and then you go, well, they also had their bad parts.

Yeah, yeah, of course. It was the- Like, you said that about Jews. You're like, yeah, Jews have been persecuted, but also they've done some stuff. For every Anne Frank, there's a Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah. Put that on a mug.

Just neo-Nazis have their thing. They're like, hey, huh? I have my cup of Joe in the morning. Well, Jews are, I mean, like, I don't know why, but we are like disproportionately successful, you know? But other groups are too. Indians in America are like disproportionately successful. Yeah, that's why it's always like

Let's just for the record show the problem if you're like to successful you're gonna have like really good successful people and then the yeah The Jeffrey Epstein who is? Successful at what he did. I mean you get a ton of money Jews are successful. He had a plan You know what it is? Greed is inevitable in any group. Power corrupts anyone. Power corrupts, absolutely. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts, absolutely.

There's a reason all these things. Except for Israel. That did not happen. That did not happen. Hi, person on the internet. It's Dan Soder, stand-up comedian and guy that wants you to come see me do stand-up comedy on the road.

I feel like if I point, it does a lot more more it's a lot more efficient but also maybe not. I'm on Burt Kreischer's fully loaded tour three weeks in June. Tour in the country with some of the best comics working. It's just a giant party. Check out all the dates at dansehunter.com if you're in the area. Buy a ticket. And then Indianapolis July 18th through the 20th, I will be at Helium Comedy Club in Indy for five shows, buy tickets right now. July 25th through July 27th, I'm gonna be at the Addison Improv outside of Dallas. Hey everybody, what if in 2024,

you got a little bit better every day? When you're learning a new language with Babbel, that's exactly what you're doing. And if Babbel can help you start learning a new language with Babbel, that's exactly what you're doing. And if Babbel can help you start speaking a new language in just three weeks, imagine what you can do in a full year. Babbel is designed by real people for real conversation. It's got tips and tools that are approachable, accessible, and rooted in real life situations and delivered with conversation based teaching. So you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world.

It's convenient, dude, these courses can help you learn real-life conversation skills in the new language. So that's what you need if you're going to go on vacation. You're not trying to learn how to conjugate, sound all formal, trying to sound like you actually know the language. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 60% off your babel subscription but only for our listeners at babel.com slash soda get up to 60% off at babel.com slash soda spelled b a b b e l dot com slash soda rules and restrictions may apply this show is sponsored by better help This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Guys, the year is halfway through. Isn't that insane to say?

It's halfway done. That's frustrating. But also, there's been some cool stuff. Something that I'm always glad I do is therapy. Each week, every week, I go in and I talk to a therapist and I get just advice. I get insight. Sometimes I just have someone to let the steam off to. And I think that is really what helps me a lot,

is having someone to connect with that doesn't have any personal interest in my life besides being there to listen and to help me. I can't tell you how much I've benefited through therapy. And I try to, I don't try to push it it too hard but I'm pushing it on you right now I'm telling you you probably could benefit from therapy if you're thinking of starting therapy give better help a try entirely online it's designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule you're just gonna fill out a brief questionnaire you

get matched with a therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge Take a moment visit better help.com Slash Soder today and get 10% off your first month. That's better help Help.com Slash Soder. Let's get back to the show. My grandma had this neighbor Who's just a racist? Yeah, she's just flat- a racist. Like after three conversations, you're like, Oh, this lady hates black people. This lady hates native Americans. There's like stuff where you go.

Even Native Americans? That's a real racist. When you're not even a kind of apologetic. Wiping them all out didn't take away the anger at all. And I won't give up her name. I'm tempted to, but her line exactly was like, well, you give them these casinos and they don't want to work. And you go, hey, I don't know if you've read the history book.

Yeah. We kind of, this was like a, I don't know, a door prize. Yeah. The casinos were kind of like, here you go. It's like a tip on the way out. You're like, there you go. But I was like, oh, you're crazy. But then she would always, when I would push back on one of her thoughts, she would immediately go thinking I was liberal. Yeah. So she would try to move on that space. So when I took that away from her,

when I was like, well, I'm not, I don't, I'm apolitical. I don't believe in any of it. Watching their old brains try to be like, I know how to figure that out, but I gotta go because go because the other the other side of it and I think like that's the damage they're talking about with phones It's like kids are being good and bad dichotomy with everything Yeah, but they're like, oh all this is good. All this is bad. All of this is all the time The press is everything. There's there's no permanence in anything. Yeah, and and everyone forgets that Yeah, it's it's we live. It's like when you see successful comics, and you see them change, right? You go you're gonna come down You're gonna come back down sure and they're like, no, I'm not I'm flying so high

I'm gonna like you're gonna come back down and then they come back down and some of them become Human again. Yeah, and some of them are broken. They're just broken because they're like, no, no, no, no. Every door, it's like having a lob to open doors. You see this with athletes and hot chicks the most. Right. Where they go, well, no, this got me in every door.

And then they get old and they're not hot anymore. And they're like, it's not working anymore. Or like athletes, when they're like, when you're the quarterback of the NFL team and everyone loves you, but then you're six years retired and you don't have anything, which is the worst. I mean, it's better to just not have that in the first place. You know what I mean? But that's exactly what's like power or, or, or comics like get successful.

Like if, if I ever got like really successful, I would definitely be like, this is not going to last very long. Let me just, you know, I would definitely be like this is not gonna last very long Let me just you know, I'd worry the whole time. I I would be a nervous wreck Be off more than when I was dead broke But then the other psychos who get successful like this is my manifest destiny It's exactly it dude, I think about that all the time when people even compliment like, that's a nice apartment you got, it's going to go away.

You just immediately, you're like, I'll be back to living in a windowless room in Queens in no time. Because I think that is, you get comfortable. And you go like, well, this is just going to last forever. But nothing does. So you just are like, there's a, I would say if anything, success leads to inevitable disappointment.

But then there's other people who get too, like Norman's like, it's all gonna go away, I only have $2 billion in the bank, you know what I mean? You almost want to grab, that's a great point, you want to grab him and go. You're good, you made it. I was trying to make this point to my mom on the phone today where I was saying like,

because I told my mom, I was like, your generation's got to let go of power. Yeah. Like, can you guys stop? Yeah. Like, can we get a gen X presidential nominee? Can we get like- Well, it's because people live too long. That's what it is.

That's the problem. Like, people used to be dead by like 70. So now everyone's like 95. They're not going anywhere. And they're functioning. Yeah. And they're like not old school 90. Yeah yeah yeah bag of both yeah it's like noon it's like a whole it's a new species you never had an 80 year old 85 year old president

jack some 80 year olds like Jack like this didn't happen this is a new species bananas are supposed to go bad. And then you have these bananas that don't go bad. Well, you're like, maybe that Midsommar had a point where they throw them off the cliff, you know? You want to like. I get it.

I get it. Just to keep from old politicians. Give me a Viking funeral. If I knew that was coming, I'd be doing heroin. I'd be like getting ready for it. Once Trump is a spring chicken at like 78 or whatever the fuck, it's like, we've gone. This is insane.

We've entered it. And I also think retirement has stopped. Well, that's the thing. No one. People don't want to get off. No one will. It's like when an old person like has to stop driving, they never decide for themselves.

Dude, my grandmother. Yeah, you just, you have to kill like four people and then they sit you down. Yeah. And that's politics in America. You have to kill four people. You have to start a war and you're like, this is horrible, you killed a lot of people.

People don't stop on their own, they can't, because that's your meaning, your purpose. No one wants to stop that. Well, it's shutting off the part of your brain that got you anyway. Yeah, yeah. It's like Doug Stanup had a bit about how like Jake LaMotta was still like doing these weird solo shows.

I love that. And he's like, I need to get like, you need someone to stop you. Because if you don't, you'll just be keep on, I'll be performing at 98 and not realizing, you know. But that's also the part we're talking about with success, where you get so successful and you have money and the people around you are getting money that they don't want to cut off the money that's going to them by being honest with the person. Cause we could both name about five people in comedy right now that need better people around them to go, shut the fuck up.

You're wrong. You're absolutely wrong. Maybe don't do that. Well, those, and those people are just as complicit. For every psycho celebrity or whatever, there's all the people around them who just, just yes them to get money. And then you have this, so much of Hollywood or anything

is you have a crazy traumatized narcissist at the center who's just insane. And then all these people just feeding money off of them and just telling them what they wanna hear, just making them crazier. So it's like every, it's all just these individual narcissists with these birds that feed off the alligator's teeth, all circling around them being like,

yeah, you are the greatest. Yeah, you can, you know. In a way, you know how everyone, they love to go, my, the funny thing, I think it's funny, even though the concept of it's very dark, is the adrenochrome, how like they're like the cabal of pedophiles. They take children and they scare them.

And then they feed. What is this? It's like a lot of right wing like QAnon shit. Yeah. Is they're like, they scare children and then they drink their fears, basically the idea. From their adrenal glands. They like.

Well, you know, this all stemmed from blood libel, which my great grandfather was a victim of. Wait, what? So blood libel is a super great grandfather was a victim of. Wait, what? So blood libel is a super anti-Semitic conspiracy. All conspiracies come back from, originated with antisemitism. With the Jews. That's why anytime there's a conspiracy,

at a certain point. It goes through the 12 tribes. Yeah, cause Jews are the glue that holds the conspiracy together. At a certain point, you're like, there's like a hole and you're like, well that, and the people point out the hole you go oh the Jews they go like they're like making a conspiracy they go hand me the jouglu

yeah that's always so blood libel this it started in the middle ages basically a blood boy yeah a kid would be found dead like in Europe in the ages maybe like in I think the first one was in England and they would accuse the Jews of killing the kid and using their blood for matzah on Passover. And then they would, a lot of times, destroy a whole town because of it. Because they'd be like, you did?

Because if you hear that, if you're in any way a decent human being, or just a human being, you hear that, you go like, they're killing kids? For this fucking ritual? Yeah, for matzah? Matzah's not even good to begin with. Shit-crackers? Yeah. For this fucking ritual. Yeah. For a fucking matzah. Matzah's not even good to begin with. Shit, crappers? Kill them. Yeah, you get angry.

At least rits are buttery. Yeah. Well, there's an article in the New York Post about a tech tycoon who spends two million per year to retain youth. He uses his teen son as blood boy, an anti-aging zealot spends two million a year in a quest to turn back the time he turns his son into his personal blood boy he wants to keep his internal organs including his penis and rectum functioning that's crazy enlisted a 17 year old thalamage to provide blood transfusions so that's just like at a clinic near Dallas last month Johnson 70 year old his 70 year year old dad Richard in Ptolemaic showed up for an hours-long

Trigenerational blood swapping treatment, so he takes the blood from his kid. Yeah. Well, this is very different than blood. Yeah Once again made this about Judaism when it wasn't about it No, but I think you're they have put antisemitism anti-semitism into something that wanted... Which is, you know, kind of what... You guys are good at doing that. Also, if we're being honest, there's good and bad. You guys are pretty good at turning that on sometimes. I may have... You go, you're anti-semitic and you go,

I don't know, we're kind of talking about something different. You go, CTE, that's anti-semitic. You go, no, that's actually brain science. But this idea that like, they use people to feast off their shit, that's celebrity. Yeah he goes, no, that's actually brain science. But this idea that like they use people to feast off their shit, that's celebrity. You're like, what you're talking about, you're just like making it more fanatical. You're not wrong, it's what you were saying

about a narcissist at the middle. Well, a celebrity, like a broken person who is like, their light is beaming and then they're kind of in their light and they go, well, I don't wanna turn this light. And you go, well, that person's going nuts. Yeah. But they're like, we need the money. We need the money.

Yeah. And you see that so many times. It's almost most celebrities. What you need to be like a famous person, like you need to be talented and have been abused somehow as a child. Or neglected. Or neglected.

You need something that made you feel invisible Yeah in which you have this itch that we all have the itch a little to feel anybody in the entertainment industry has but those people have that itch to a huge degree and They will do anything to like fees. Yeah. Yeah to scratch it. Yeah feed the itch. Yeah What the fuck am I talking about? Listen, if that was anti-Semitic that I said that, I just want to apologize. No, I'm mixing metaphors here.

Oh God, oh God, did I do it? I'm such a goy, I never know. Yeah, but like, yeah, and then you have, and I've been one of those people, I've been one of those people around a crazy person, but I really want money from them. It's also, what's crazy about it is, I've watched a couple people that I know

that are very famous that have gotten famous that maybe I knew before they were famous and maybe they haven't changed right but it's the people around them yeah that that I don't know that gross me out yeah yeah no they're just and I'm and you know so we've been around big comics and you kind of see it's like the one or two homeless pimp's is nodding his head He's like, yeah, this is trust me brother. I'm in the cut I see this shit a lot but you get around it and like I don't know if people understand that when you see someone go Crazy, that's famous. Yeah know it's because there's about five or six people that are stopping them from settling down, right?

Right, they're going no. No. No, we got to get you back on the road get back on the road Yeah, Spears everyone goes what happened to britney? She's dancing with knives and you're go check the five people around her you know they never get in trouble the five people around It's always britney. Yeah, it's all britney's nuts And you go who were the five people and it's the same thing with some me too shit the people who got up Kevin's basically goes down as you should but what about all the people who hid shit who indulged him? Those people get away scot-free every time. Harvey Weinstein's secretary yeah heard that shit knew that shit that's right this woman should have been in trouble for it not Harvey Weinstein and that's how you solve problems misogyny

it's like three card bond to you. We're like, hey, here's the ball, here's the ball. He just went straight for the woman. And that woman who worked for him, the woman he probably abused too, she's the real villain. She's the problem. You really see like all humans suck. Yeah, yeah, but a lot gets go away, Scott Free. But that's where I get annoyed.

Yeah, it sucks. As you go like, ah, it is him, but it's also. Yeah, it's not as you go like it is him But it's also because those people are those people almost kind of can't help it because they're psychos Yeah, it's that you know, I think it is. It's anyone that winks when shaking your hand. Yeah Probably trying to feed off one of my friends. Oh You're probably trying to feed off one of my friends. Oh buddy Sometimes we get these ads and you know, I use them and I'm like, oh it was great and I liked it I'm telling you right now the perfect gene

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PerfectGene.nyc with promo code Soder15. Soder15 is the code you're gonna need. Remember that. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Fuck your khakis. Go get the Perfect jean. Perfect jean rules, and I really mean that. I need more perfect jeans. Perfect jean. Exactly, I mean like, yeah, Kevin Spacey is a psycho,

but then what about the guy who like went onto the film crew and was like, hey, I know he grabbed the balls earlier, can you just keep it to yourself? How much money do you need? How much money do you need for us to forget they're all still there in Hollywood There's people that like none of them got in trouble. No, that's the new thing the me too accomplishes Yeah, also, I would go even further to say the people that serve up the NDA Yeah, they go. Hey, I need you to sign something

There's a lawyer that drafted that I There's a guy that's like, and if he fucks you, you won't say a thing. Can I say something though, something I've never understood? And I'm not, probably, this is probably a wrong thing to say, but. We can always edit it. When they sign the NDA.

Or you can also use it against you. When they. Hollywood. When they sign the NDA and get paid, shouldn't they shut the fuck up? Yeah, yeah. Shouldn't you shut the fuck up? Yeah. Yeah. Shouldn't you not say...

I'm joking. No, but it is... But I don't understand it. I mean, like, are they breaking a contract? Yeah. Well, that's unethical. Yeah, I love it. And this again, you're seeing Judaism in real time.

What? But there's a contract, you signed the contract. It's just weird that you sign the contract, get the money, and then speak out later. Well, that's, so you just follow that thought. Kind of you're the bad guy. Yeah. Because you broke a contract.

Yeah, you, yeah. I mean, at the moment, if someone hands me an NDA, I'm going, well, what are we getting into? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you can choose not to sign that. Right. You're at the Diddy pool party. Yeah.

And someone goes, hey, to go in the Diddy pool party, you have to sign this NDA. You go, I don't want to sign this. And they go, you can't come to the pool party. And you go, all right. I'll sign it. And then you leave. But it's interesting that everyone-

You don't have a story. You can't get paid later when everyone piles on Diddy. Everyone seems to have the option to sign it, get the money, and then speak out later. Which is interesting. That's having your cake and eating it too. Dude, it's so funny that our podcast episode has turned into anti-NDAs.

We've gone from all these things to being like, yeah, and you know what? Fuck the people that break their NDAs. It's just something I've never understood. I mean, I get the real person is the sexual predator and all that shit. Yeah. They're monsters. But once we get down, once we finish resolve all that.

You know that bitches broke their constructs. You're really doing a that being said. That has to be the name of the episode. That being said. Who's breaking the NDA? Once the dust has settled, the people are in jail, once we figure that all out, then you're like, okay, these people brought the... You know what it is?

That is, that's the cleanup that needs to happen. As you go, take care of the big problem. But then when you go down the line, go, but you did sign an NDA. Well, it's also when you hear about people like paying off someone secretly to not talk. Yeah. And then you hear about that. So I'm like, why are they, why are you paying off someone if we're all gonna hear about it? If we're gonna be honest, if we wanna be a truthful society, gotta give the money back.

You should give the money back. I would not be surprised. This episode should be called Harvey Weinstein Demand. Let's keep his name out of the title for the algorithm. We're gonna find a more clever way to title this. But in the next six months I would not be surprised if you start seeing people countersue Going I paid you not to say anything. You said something ergo vis-a-vis

Give me my money back. We have from Harvey Weinstein probably is like talking to the lawyer now What do I ask when do I get my money back and he's's like, you gotta wait still a little bit. Yeah, yeah. There's nobody dies. You haven't renal failure yet? He's like, I do deserve the money back. Yeah, you go, yeah, Harvey, we got bigger fish to fry right now. There's a woman you jerked off in front of that said,

you know, you jerked off on her and you said she was gonna be Wonder Woman. Isn't it funny? We don't remember any of the women. I just remember the plant. The potato. That was what we all remember. Who's the plant's publicist?

That's how little women matter. We're like, I don't know their names, but I do know he had a ficus tree. We know the hotel, we know the plant, and the lady and you go, what's my hard plant? We're like, now this is really fucked up. That's how bad a rap women get. Oh yeah, I don't know. Some noisy broad. Anyways, that plant. Jesus, I don't think semen is good for it. And just a follow up question,

you wonder if that plant's still in that room. Yeah. You wonder if anybody walks by and you go, you know that's the plant Harvey Weinstein jerked off on. Well, is semen like, does that work as, does that work as hydration for a plant? They go, this thing's growing. It's uncontrollable.

Cause you know there's some liberal hippie also jack this thing's growing. It's uncontrollable. Because you know there's some liberal hippie who also jacks off plants. It's called cum therapy. I cum in the plant. This is the most natural fertilizer. It's my fertilizer. It is the best place to come into if you think about it. People are like, it's so gross, he jacked off into a plant.

But they're like, whatever you jack off into is probably gonna be gross. I mean, that's probably the best case scenario. The soil, there's probably nutrients that do benefit the plant. Oh, I love this. What? Semen is mostly water, amino acids, citric acid, enzyme, and fructose. Not really anything a plant is looking for.

That's so funny. The plant gets come down and goes, I'm not really looking for any of this. Google search. It just sits in a puddle on top of the soil. And you go, you know, it's crazy. That's Weinstein's come. Yeah. Well, that's, I mean, to me, the worst thing he did was, uh, you know, prevent that plant from growing.

Yeah. He really stopped. It wasn't all those women's lives you ruined. It wasn't all the rape as much as it was the plants not getting their nutrients. Yeah, man. I think it's like you get into a business where people are looking for opportunity or in anything in finance in Hollywood Where there's a lot of money on the line? Yeah people are gonna change and bend the rules so that they don't have accountability Yes. Yes, and then they get away and then we we scapegoat I mean someone who is a fucking psycho, but we scapegoat them and crucify them and avoid all the people around them.

Yeah, who helped. Who helped, yeah, and they're still there, yeah. Yeah. To help someone else, you know what I mean? Yeah, because you see, you almost like, I'm very interested by this now. Like, I really want to look at every celebrity meltdown and go like, well, who was around you?

Yeah, of course. Who's just sitting there going, sick, dude? Brittany, buzz it. She's like, well, who was around you? Yeah, of course. Who's just sitting there going, sick dude, Brittany buzz it. She's like, Oh, those, those people, those crazy narcissists, they have all this money. They just throw around. Yeah.

So you know, we're just, you just want to be there when it falls on you. And in case you think you can't be bought off, you can be bought off. Yeah. There's money where they go like, you'll never have, you don't like money doesn't buy happiness, but it prevents a lot of worrying Yes, when you go like I don't have to worry about my bills. Yeah, it's uh, you know

And there's a lot of people now that need money. Yes, like the disparity is happening. It's insane. Yeah, like bezos Can buy off someone and you'll never know because he could just be like here's 10 million dollars. Shut the fuck up Yeah, I guess that's the thing I guess if there's a certain amount of money, you'll like if you give someone a billion, they'll probably be quiet Look, they can go away Yeah, live in the south of France not bother anyone the rest of your life and then your life isn't gonna go Bad because you have a bill. It's a good point. We're like and Basis hasn't been me too. That's probably not because he's a good guy

But Bezos hasn't been me too. That's probably not because he's a good guy. You're never, you don't get, here's the thing. And they've said this a lot. You don't get to that amount of money being a cool dude. Right. Or a good dude. And also like- And you're going to pay everyone off.

Everyone who got me too on some level was getting a little weak on the throne. You know what I mean? They were a little like, like Kevin Spacey was just like, all right whatever exactly like it's over Harvey Weinstein still like the Kostunov scream For sock, yeah, Bill Cosby was 112 We should just make this episode cut We just got ended We're gonna end this shit. I, the funny bones coming down on me. That's what I get.

I feel like, you wanna work Columbus? You're done. It is funny, like, it's definitely not that the people more powerful have it me too. That's not how it works. No. It's not like only, you know, like, it's like the people on the top, they just, yeah.

We'll have to wait for Amazon to really like do bad. It's almost like a fight them. You're almost like looking at like kings getting weak and someone's like, well, they just, yeah, we'll have to wait for Amazon to really like do bad. It's almost like a fight them. You're almost like looking at like Kings getting weak and someone's like, well, that King's weak. I can take their power. Let me have someone else. Right. Well, I think when Hannibal Burruss called out Bill Cosby,

everyone's like, we had to wait for another black, really funny comic to replace him before we could get him out. Recast it. Which I've heard Hannibal say like he regrets doing that. Yeah. funny comic to replace him before we could get him out. But they go, recast it. Which I've heard Hannibal say like he regrets doing that. Because it became a thing where now he's attached to this thing. And you're like, that, they also never do that in movies. Where the hero does something and they're like, I kind of regret it doing that.

That's all I'm known for. Yeah, like John McClane's not like, I shouldn't have taken down Hans Gruber. Yeah, you know, I had all these other cases that were cool. No one talks about those. I had a couple of murder cases in New York that I could have solved, and instead I can't go in high buildings now, because of my PTSD.

He goes, I jumped out of a building and now I'm fucked up. Have you ever seen Heat? Yeah. I always thought it was really funny in Heat that Pacino's so focused on these bank robbers that he completely just lets a serial killer be like top, bottom of his list. There's like a serial killer killing prostitutes.

And he's like, no, I wanna go after these bank robbers who already did the score. They already got away with it. I gotta get these guys. And like these actively killing sex workers. You could stop this. And instead you are going to show up at the bank robbery in that moment and just kill so many bystanders.

So many people get shot in that bank robbing scene. That is insane. So many people. And by the way, it was the 90s, so we really, cinematically, we're like, as a fan of movies, you weren't thinking about that. You were just going, God, this looks cool. And Val Kilmer. But then you're, but now you watch it,

you're like, couldn't they just get the license plates and arrest them later? I'm pretty sure they could have got them. They probably could have waited, followed them. That scene is acting like it's Bonnie and Clyde in the 30s, where like, if they just get away from that bank, they're good. Just wait till they're in a quiet road and then block it.

Al Pacino literally has a machine gun that he's just blowing away that stream. And people are getting picked off. People are getting picked off. That is definitively... Al Pacino is the worst cop of all time. People getting killed in that scene is definitively way worse. And the serial killer. Yeah. He lets go of the serial killer and he kills bystanders in a way to stop someone robbing an insured bank.

FDIC is going to cover up to a hundred thousand dollars of all of this, but there are four cops get killed, 12 bystanders, a girl has a gun to her head, my top size. Now this was the right moment. The banks already got their money back by the end of the bloodbath. It always makes me think of the Scott Evil scene in Austin Powers with the laser, sharks with lasers. Oh yeah.

I got a gun upstairs. I just get them, we shoot them, they're dead. And that's like, that's exactly what this, there had to have been a cop on the team who goes, can we sway it? I think we know where they live. We've been following them. You know who everyone in the crew is.

Well, it's like Red of a Dog, just like, can't they just arrest them before they go into the bank? Yeah, they got them. These guys are all criminals. Like, do they have to wait for them to hold up a bank with hostages? I really hope movies start doing that. It's not gonna be good for the movie,

but it'll be good for people like us. Yeah. Just like a movie. We didn't, I was a Chappelle show that did movies, like the real movie. Yeah. This is how it actually would have happened. And that's really how it is where you're like the dumbest part in heat. I think. I like heat. They're doing heat too. Are they? Oh yeah, they are. Yeah. The Adam driver. Oh wow. Was Pacino De Niro in it or no? They're doing like the young versions of them. Oh, by the way, apparently Pacino, apparently they had extra scenes where he's actually a coke addict, but they cut them all out. That makes so much sense. That would have just explained everything. So instead we're like, this man's insane. Everything that you just said would have been the bulk. If there would have been two scenes of Pacino going like this.

She got a great face. But they cut that out. So now they're just like, what is he doing? I didn't know that. That makes that movie make so much more sense. Because then you're like, he's being crazy with someone he wants to talk. It's like, that's not the practical way

to get someone to talk, to just be an insane person. Yeah. You don't want to get someone to help you by being like, I'm sorry the chicken got dried out. I don't even want to eat. I'm fucking yacked out of my tits. Damn. The part in Heat that I do love Heat,

the part that really annoys me now in terms of how illogical it is, is when the serial killer guy kills the people in the beginning and they're at the restaurant. So their plan at this point is to kill him, right? Sure. They could easily just be friendly with him, wait till later. Instead they choose to, De Niro chooses to bash his head in publicly at the table. Yeah. So everyone sees it and then they choose to leave the parking lot and instead of just waiting for him to like be in the car,

they trip him and try to do a public execution. Yeah, are you talking about Wango? Yeah, like in the parking lot. They do a public execution that the cops then see. Yeah, they go, well, now we have you for murder. And these aren't supposed to be the best criminals ever. It's like you shoot a guy when he's not looking. You don't do a public execution

in the parking lot. You know what would make this murder really go over well? Witnesses. Yeah, it's like what the fuck? A lot of witnesses. Yeah, well they killed Joe Pesci at Goodfellas. They're not doing it at the mall. Yeah, they're doing it in the basement, a finished basement somewhere in Queens. And also the idea of someone being at that diner and watching the public execution, they go, and I told her, I can't go home. Oh my God. It's just like stopping that scene. Or they're like, oh fuck. Why does Joe Pesci like seem so shocked

when he gets in there? I mean, I know it's like. Well, cause he thinks he's getting made. It's the surprise of. Why is it so clear that it wouldn't be funny if they have like an alternative view when he was going to get made. And he just goes, oh no.

And they're like, what? We're about to make you. And he's like, oh, I guess that fish on the wall just seems suspicious. I honestly thought there'd be more people. I just thought this was, you know what? It's like, it's like when someone gets upset by their birthday party and they go, I just thought more people would show up. It's just the people with us. I don't know where the mafia keeps secrets. We are going to make you. Yeah.

It's the thing of ours, not of theirs. I don't know why you got so suspicious. It's just a room that looks like where someone would get made. Ah, I really thought there was gonna be a plus one. He just awkwardly, he's just like, oh no, what? What? Or if they would've waited to kill him.

Oh no, what? Oh yeah. Oh no, yeah. He says it and just feels awkward. He's like, oh shit. I just want to assume they were, the people behind me were going to just sit down with me in that moment.

Yeah. I would have walked, I don't think I would have made a noise. It would have been so unceremonious. I would have been like, Yeah, this is it, right? Yeah, I'd have gone, I guess that's how I go out. And then De Niro with the laziest hit of all time.

It's over there. That was the worst. That was like me trying to argue laying down on a couch with my wife. I'm like, I don't know, I didn't do anything. You're like right before a nap. You're like. He gets so tired of doing hits.

Yeah. That he's gotten so lazy. He's just like, go over there. It's down there. I'm sure one of those guys will rape you or whatever. And how easy he made it for her to get away. I know. She goes, no, no, no, I'm okay. He goes, yeah, you know what?

Oh, whatever. It's like an old cat chasing a mouse. He's like, yeah, whatever. Fuck, yeah. I was hoping one of those construction workers would get at you. I don't know, there's no coats. Just get at it if you want.

The laziest hit, motioning someone into a bad alley. Giving up, giving up on hit, where you're like, eh, what are you gonna do? I'm tired. Sign this NDA. And he goes, you break it, then I'll kill you. Then I'll fucking kill you. Yeah, you're gonna get the money.

Check out Renan's special, Brave, on YouTube. Thanks for coming by. Oh, it's always a pleasure. You're welcome. Check out Dan's special, one of the best. Check out my special, on the road, on YouTube, on this channel you're watching. Yeah.

["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"]