Soder - 40: Vegas for a Year with Rob Iler | Soder Podcast | EP 40

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

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That's where I noticed the first thing everyone's like, how's your life? You're like, I'm shitting firm. Oh, I, my move is I after I, so I only once a day, but after every meal I do a 30 minute walk and it makes me shit. If I don't walk after I shit, it's a problem. You're like when I fucking pat my dog's stomach to make sure she goes before the walk. We're like, get it in there. It packs it down. Yeah.er. Like get it in there. Packs it down.

Yeah, yeah. No one talks about that. Everyone's like, oh, you sleep, you're skin, but you're like, you poop. I was shitting mulch for all the years I was drinking. Right, well the problem was I was addicted to Percocet. Oh, you can't, that's obvious. You can't shit, it's a problem, yeah.

Shitting was a whole. Was, are we recording? Yeah. Was, did, we don't do like I don't like proper intros ruin a hang You know what? And now we're here and you're like that yeah, we're kicking it at pimps apartment They pull it they pull it off on are you garbage? You know they really really ham it up. Yeah, they do like the whole thing like

Really ham it up. Yeah, they do like the whole thing and like Devil with Ben Affleck which was one of my most biggest by the way that movie I filmed a really shitty rom-com like indie rom-com and I was this is back when I was when weed vaping first came out Like right when it came out. Yeah, had the wax. And I got too high. And I was like watching that movie and I was like on, we were on location so I was staying at a hotel.

And I was like, do you think they knew it was gonna suck when they were making it? But now, I got intrigued by this YouTube video about the Daredevil movie. That movie was supposed to be the shit video about the daredevil movie that movie was supposed to be the shit Like the daredevil movie and what happened the studio fucked it they cut their film in half They they only gave them a budget to film half the time Like the director and Ben Affleck like dude they had this whole idea and then the studio was like now We don't think it's gonna work. So they this is a YouTube doc that I watched so I don't know how you were a part of the fucking thing

Yeah, oh, dude. I was fucking I don't even know how old I was I was just getting high every day then and they're like you want to do this thing for two days and make money and Be as we yeah, I guess Are your memories from when you got fucked up like all hazy or do you or do sometimes they come back to you? It all depends like there's times where I'm like Oh, it's more so like when people bring it up But then there's also the ones that are like the key stories or I'm like do I remember that from the like it? Happening or have we told the story so many times that now I just remember some form of this thing

Yeah, you've like created the memory, right? Well, do you do that one man you on your podcast you guys were talking about being at a premiere, you've like created the memory. Right. Well, dude, that one on your podcast, you guys were talking about being at a premiere and you were like, I was out of my fucking tits showing up. Yeah. And all those cameras. And you know what's so funny is like, I remember on that thing, there were people who because I because I was saying like, oh, we were I was doing coke in like the limousine on the way there and didn't realize because we were coming from another party. Yeah. I didn't realize there would be a red carpet. And when you get out on the red carpet and didn't realize, because we were coming from another party, and I didn't realize there would be a red carpet. And when you get out on the red carpet, it's like shh, shh, shh, shh, and you're just like,

ah, like your jaw is fucking. And your fucking eyes are like this. Well, that's the thing is somebody in the comments is like, yeah, right, nice try, like your eyes are small, you're not big. And I'm like, because you come out to 300 cameras. Yeah, dude, your eyes are also gonna correct. Right, and it's like when you have 300 flashes in your face

but dude, there's just, I mean. Dude, the heart rate must have been through the fucking roof. Yeah, that was always the worst when you would come out to a play. Like, I even remember like smoking weed and my friend was like, yo, I got tickets to like the Jack, like Jackass is showing at this theater, do you wanna go?

And like, I was like, I wanna be as high as possible. Nick, Jackass. Right, so you get like as stoned as, do you wanna go? And I was like, I wanna be as high as possible. Yeah, Jackass. Right, so you get like as stoned as possible, and then you show up and there was like a red carpet, and I was like, what? And I'm in like a fucking shitty hoodie, and I'm stoned out of my mind, and I'm like, oh, and they're asking me questions,

and I'm like, I was ready to be like, I'm gone. You're like, I wanna watch Ryan Dunn shove a car up his ass. I don't want you guys to fucking film how high I am right now. Yeah, and then they wanna ask me like, so on season four, episode three, and I'm like, dude, I don't know what the, please. That is something that no one ever talks about

where they're like, the worst part of fame isn't probably the access you get, it's the people bothering you when you're like, I just wanna to do this one simple thing of getting high and going and seeing jackass. Right. And I also think that there's like a, if you're really like great at what you do, like if you're Elon Musk and somebody wants to stop you to talk to you and you blow them off, it's like I'm Elon Musk. Like for me, I was like a 12 year old kid who got lucky

to be on a show that like these people who Worked their whole lives. Oh my god. So I'm like no I need to stop and talk to every part like because there was before everybody Had a camera so people actually wanted to talk to you But that's also that also kind of shows your personality that shows that you're a good dude And you you kind of have the self-awareness of like I understand the position I'm in Yeah, let me talk to these people. Because they're also like, you know, when you have any success,

I don't know about psychopaths or sociopaths, but most of the time when you have any success, you feel a little guilty. Oh, for sure. Cause you're like, why am I getting this? Yeah, 100%. But you're on a show, as a, this is what I wanted to ask. This is what I was like thinking about.

I was like, when he was like, we're gonna get Rob on the podcast, I was like, dude, I have a question is what I wanted to ask. This is what I was like thinking about. I was like when he was like, we're going to get Rob on the podcast. I was like, dude, I have a question that I've wanted to know forever because I'm a diehard pro wrestling fan. Yeah. That kind of fever, that kind of like devotion, I would say in TV shows, Breaking Bad, The Wire and The Sopranos are the three that have that kind of like you have dudes that do the it's still real to me. Damn it. Oh, yeah Like that kind of thing we like you know chill buddy

And they asked me questions about the show as if it goes it went on when the it wasn't going on like yeah They're like you just Tony hit you and I'm like well Whatever you saw on the shit like, you you know they want to know like did things Happen like it was one scene where like I get into a fight with some kid Then he has to pay me like $40 for like ripping my shirt or something and like somebody came up to me I was like dude like that shirt was $40 your mom wanted you to buy the shirt He's like you didn't buy the shirt right. He's like you bought like video games or something. I was like He's like you bought like video games or something. I was like

Yeah, I'm like I didn't I'm not also like maybe there's some actors who are like no my character I did buy this shirt like that's too much. Yeah, I'm like dude I don't even I was just excited to get the $40 like in the realm of things Yeah, when people get to into a show you go, it's not Real yeah, right. It's not real, it's not real. Yeah, right. It's not real, like. It's still real to me. Yeah, I love that guy. Oh my God, all the time. If you haven't seen that, go YouTube,

it's still real to me. But my favorite is. He's cutting dick dick dick Murdoch. Yeah, yeah. My favorite is, okay buddy. If you're in the rest, there goes like, he goes, you sacrificed your bodies, and I just wanna say.

And that exists so much now with different things, and people don't realize they're, it's still reeling to me, damn it. Dude, I've seen people's heartbreak when they found out I wasn't Italian. Like I've seen people who are like full jerseyed out, and they're like, bro, me and my family would get together, we'd make aba gull, we'd all sit around the TV and watch you guys, and then like some somebody else would be like yeah

Well, you know he was the only one who was not Italian on the show and they're like what? And you're like oh, yeah, I'm no I'm Irish and they're like Okay, and they're like they're just done. Yeah Cuz they're also they were tricked Made my day Guys were they go, nah, where's your family from? They're not from Sicily, but Florence?

How far down the boot are you? I'm like, oh no, we have like potatoes and potatoes. That's so funny. My grandfather came over from Dublin, and they're like, excuse me. Yeah, that's like when finance bros found out that I hate Wall Street. And they're like, but you worked at Ax Capital. You go, I never worked anywhere.

Yeah, right, yeah. I worked in Jersey on a set. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's dudes who when I don't know stuff about Jersey, they're so confused. And I'm like, I grew up in New York City. But the seven families. Right.

And they're like, oh yeah, I learned what I needed to learn. Right, and they're like, yeah, well, my mom's from North Caldwell. I'm like, oh, okay. Like, it's supposed to mean something to me, yeah. I went to a party when I was dating this girl. We went to a party, kind of in this area, and it was like a work friend that she had,

and she couldn't wait to tell me that her boyfriend works for Steve Cohen, and that billions is nothing like real life. Yeah, I'm like eating like cheese and I'm like yeah probably not right. She was like no it's nothing like that you're like cool. Right. I don't care. Yeah are you gonna finish that? Yeah. Do you have more pepper jack? Yeah. I mean there is like there's this idea and again as a pro wrestling fan I completely did I like get it like I love wrestling But I'm not you have to still be human you have to still be like these are people that are pretending to be other people

Yeah, you're on the show where I think the disappointment has to be the highest when they find out That like you and Jamie don't know how like you don't know Carmella's recipes, right? Yeah, and I think they get but they they have the opposite end of the scale where they Actually get so amped up when they found out like yeah, Tony Serico did time in jail and like they find out that these guys were like really so they have the balance where it's like Yeah, like everybody's a young that these guys were like really so they have the balance where it's like everybody's a young Irish kid. Yeah, but you're in this specific position of you were a kid growing up on the show with

this like which did it change from the jump? Like the second you got the show, was your life completely different or did you see it progress like as the seasons went on you went like, well now I'm losing this part of my personal life. Well, I mean, there's so many answers to that, but really like, I think the fact that, you know, I was 12, 13, 14, 15, obviously like all the way up, and no one my age had HBO, nobody watched HBO.

So like, there were kids, like me and Jamie would go out to LA to go to like award shows for like kids, and you could see the difference because those kids were on Nickelodeon shows and and shows on Fox or whatever We're like other kids watched yeah, and these kids it was like they were like Jesus like you just walked in room You could feel that we're like I'm outside. I'm like 13 smoking Yeah kids ripping butts rules. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're like, I know I'm doing,

you're doing the most adult thing. Yeah, I started smoking, drinking, and smoking weed when I was 12. Before the show or as the show? It was right around that same kind of time, but the show, because we filmed the pilot when I was 12, and then it took some time to get picked up and film the first season,

so it wasn't, you know, my dad's a my grandfather. It's it was I was I was going there Yeah, yeah, did anyone from the cast you smoke on set when you were that young oh well No, there was an age where it started happening I don't know what it is But like you know you go out to like the Emmy Awards and you're in LA and then you start drinking and you're like I'm just gonna fucking yeah, you're 15 And you're like I'm just and then you get like the looks and the whatever, and then like, you know, six months later, it's like you're standing on set,

sitting outside smoking cigarettes. And just like. So they got comfortable with it. Was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was there ever a moment where one of the cast members was like, what are you doing smoking? No, they were all pretty like, you know, they didn't like encourage me,

but they weren't like, hey, you shouldn't be doing that or whatever. They were kind of like, they got it. You go through that. When you're a young smoker, you see people go like, hey, you shouldn't be doing that or whatever, they were kind of like, they got it. You go through that. When you're a young smoker, you see people go like, all right. My friend's family was like having this vacation to Mexico and we were like 15 and they were like,

do you wanna go to Mexico with all of us? And I was like, absolutely, literally. I was smoking, I was drinking so I was like, I know, I'll be able to go do all this down in Mexico. And we landed at the airport. I got caught with cigarettes at DIA going through security, but my friend's mom was like, rolled her eyes. But then I was like, when we were in Mexico,

I just was like, oh, I'm smoking. And it was funny to watch them be like, because they're not my parent. They can't say shit. And then you have that moment where you go, where you're like looking at them and be like, hanging out. Cause they're not my parent. Right. They can't say shit. Yeah. And then you have that moment where you go, where you light, and you're like looking at them and you light one in the corner of your mouth

and you go, what were you saying? And I can't tell this kid shit. You take it out of the pack, you even take the pack out as it comes through. You're like, I'm gonna take it out now. Like your arm is exaggerated. You're like, yeah. But then when you start getting casual

and you're like talking, you go, I don't know, I don't know, I'll be right there before. You're like, taking the pack. You take the cigarette out of the pack, you're just like, you go, I don't know, I'll be right there before you're like packing the pack. You take the cigarette out of the pack, you're just like, you have the free hand. There's nothing funnier than like a 15 year old acting like a 40 year old war vet. Yeah, yeah.

They're like, oh yeah, let's rock and nut. You got the soft pack where you just, it just jumps up and you catch it. You're pocket to pocket, you do the flick on the bottom and you go, no shit, I've never been there. Dude, smoking young is so funny to watch people react to it. Yeah. Because, like, you're on set.

Those aren't your parents. They're your coworkers. And the weird thing is, is like, I, you know, there became a certain age, or maybe it was like 16, where like, I was doing so much better than anyone else in my family, that it was like, I'm gonna smoke. Yeah, dude.

I was like, I'm gonna light this up because what are you gonna do? So, there is a point in everyone's life, and it could happen to you when you're younger, I'm gonna smoke. Yeah, dude. I was like, I'm gonna light this up because what are you gonna do? Like. There is a point in everyone's life, and it could happen to you when you're younger, when you're older, but when you start becoming the bread winner, there's this moment where you go, I'm gonna do this.

Like, my mom's fine with me smoking weed, she's fine, but when the money started coming in, I was a little more like, I'm gonna go smoke before dinner, and she's like, sure, all right, okay, fine. I remember, so I would smoke weed in my room and I would I would go under I would have like this pipe that you could cover with the lighter yeah and then I would put the blanket over me and I would blow it into a pillow and one day after like doing this for years I come home and right

when I open the front door the pillow is right there when you open the door and there's just a fucking black circle on it. Like this, that like, you could tap on it, it's like hard, and I'm like, oh no. And in my head I'm panicked. I'm like, I never thought about this moment. Like why, I don't know. I had like.

You found the pillow. Right, so my, you know, I had people in my family with drug problems, so they would steal from me, so I got to have a lock on my front door when I was like, even before Sopranos, because I was like, yo, when my Nintendo games are good, like my Christmas gifts are gone.

And my mom was like, all right, you can get a lock on your door. So I had a lock on my door from like a super young age. Do you remember what game got taken from you first? Like, do you remember that like? No, I just remember, you know, because like he wouldn't even, the uncle I'm thinking he wouldn't even the uncle

I'm thinking of wouldn't even like take them all he would take like four games thinking like I wouldn't know or something and I remember one time he took like He took a ring and a pair of like shoes that he got me but they weren't my size He definitely like stole shoes from somebody else and like drunk or high tried to like give them to me and then like took Them back to so I don't know. Yeah, that's such a fun That's such a drug addict move to go. I got you these size 15 I remember I had I think the game was called like carnage, and it was red for Super Nintendo Yeah, and I remember that one really stood out cuz you had all like the tan It's all gray right, but this one was red

And I remember like the red one was gone And I was like fuck you too so then like I convinced my mom to let me have a lock on the door So I never planned for the weed pillow to be found I was just like yeah, she's not gonna get in there one day she just decided to like go in the room and So I walk in I see the pills sitting there and the the heat Yeah in my body and the instant sweat that and she comes walk Plowing through the kitchen.

She's like, what's wrong with you? She's like, you're lighting pillows on fire. I was like, yeah. Just right. And I was like, thank God she said that because I had nothing like, oh, there it is. Yeah. I was like, I light pillows on fire. I like the way fire dances. Yeah. I'm a pyromaniac. But I'm going to change. I'm not going to stop burning things.

That's so funny. You'd rather be a pyromaniac I was so Don't bring it wd-40 around me. I'm gonna I was so relieved. Yeah, man that kind of like finding an excuse real quick Yeah, like when my mom would be like whose lighter is this and you're like, uh Jason. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, cuz I was smoking smoking young I would come home smelling like cigarettes and my mom would be like, where were you and I had one friend whose parents smoked inside So you just back Jason Poyles house. He's like I was at Jason Poyles house and it worked 20 times. Okay, and then one time she's like, let me smell your breath. And that's when you're like, ah, I made out with Jason Poyles mom

I made out with Jason Poyle's mom The I remember the worst one was I was on a cruise with my family. This is like later I was like 16 or whatever and I The first night of the cruise I meet these people like these really like cool kids And they were older and like I had weed on me and they had a lot of liquor so I was like party hey yeah because we weren't old enough to like buy it wasn't like 21 you had a bracelet so like this whole thing I go to their room they had the big Poland spring bottles and the big peach and apple bottles full of like clear alcohol and dark alcohol so on the bottom you look it'd be like 99 bananas and like oh so like I'm like let's get fucking wasted I started lighting up joints I had like a full pack yeah we're smoking drinking I remember like going out I'm the last thing I remember is I was on stage singing brown-eyed girl it's some like random stage on the ship and I'm wasted and I wake up in the bed and I was supposed to be staying in the room with my brother I look over at his bed he's gone he's not there and he I don't know

he's like seven at the time and I'm like what the fuck so the bed and I was supposed to be staying in the room with my brother. I look over at his bed, he's gone. He's not there and he, I don't know, he's like seven at the time and I'm like, what the fuck? So the last thing I remember is like a black circle and I move the blanket from the other bed and there's just fuck, because I had, so I drank two peach Snapple bottles full of Jack Daniels. Jesus. And I, I threw it all up on the bed and it was just black and the smell was so bad Everything was so disgusting and now I start panicking because it's on the carpet I'm like what do I do so I'm taking the sheets off and I'm stuffing where the lifejackets are and my dad comes into The room he looks at me goes. What did you shit yourself? I went yup dude again. I was like yeah

Dude again, I was like yeah, I was like these guys are saving me Yeah, how are you guys you guys are the worst cops in the world? Yeah, and for years my dad would be like yeah when you shit yourself on the cruise And I was like yeah, and then one day when I was like whatever 1920 when he realized us I was like dude that was fucking throw up from Jack It's so funny to think about that. If a cop did that and they walked up, they go, was this an accident? The guy goes, it was an accident.

I didn't murder my wife, there was an accident. What happened, did a butterfly fly in the window and come in your face? Yep. Yep, that's it, dude. I totally didn't do anything illegal. I wasn't looking at my phone, that's for sure, officer. When you get sober and you stop drinking and all that stuff,

I mean, there's like, we're reminiscing on it now, but then you kind of get sober and you stop drinking and all that stuff, you know, I mean there's like, you know We're reminiscing on it now But then you kind of get sober and you start to be like damn I kind of blew some opportunities to have more fun Is there parts that you like when you're going through all those? Experiences that you wish you would have been sober to like kind of take in more or maybe like process better but not so much that it's a lot more like I process better? Not so much that. It's a lot more like there were a lot of girls that I could have gotten with if I didn't. There would be times where we would be with groups

of like, it would be like me and two of my friends who were like, whatever, and like a promoter in a New York nightclub and there would be like 15 girls at the table, gorgeous, we're dancing, everything and someone would be like be like yo We got two eight balls of coke if you want to go back to the apartment and it was like Just gone garbage bags over the windows and like 72 hours of just being like yo, man I'm like I wish you could have met my grandma. Yeah And they go, what? And you go, I'm Irish, I gotta tell you that. And they go, I don't give a fuck. I was on beat red, they're like, yeah, we can tell.

But that's what's, you know, I actually talked to Bert Kreischer about this when we were on the Fully Loaded tour. It's like, knowing that you're a substance guy helps people around you to be like, don't worry, I'm not chasing pussy. Or like, don't worry, I'm not chasing money. You're like, substances, those are my problem.

And when you understand that, it helps everything out. Because I have friends who are like, I don't drink. Or they're like, I don't want to smoke weed. And then they're like, you know he ruined his marriage because he was fucking every woman that lived in this apartment building. And you're like, no way do I want that. There's no way, sex add addiction, food addiction,

I'm so glad I was substances Yeah, but when I hear you the way you talk about sweets, I'm dude. I'm great as sweets I'm so bad that like You know like this trip I really started to really you know when like a guy who's even had sex like three times sees a super hot chick And he's like dude. I would fuck this shit Do you ain't doing shit like you're doing that's how I am now when I see like a mr. Softy truck. I'm like, dude, I would fuck this shit up. It's like, dude, you ain't doing shit. Like, that's how I am now. When I see like a Mr. Softy truck, I'm like, bro. I'm like, do you,

cause I haven't had sugar in like three years. Yeah, so I do. So you would just shut that down. Bad, but what I do is like alternative. So I'll eat these, I'll find these places that make like, like Giselle's bakery and you know, Montecito, where they make these things with like dates and maple syrup Yes, so I get that sent to me and do because dude I'm

Bad with the sugar and you can't even do a little bit. I know way I haven't yeah I haven't it's it's been three years, but like when I see that mr. Softy truck for Day, I'm thinking about it still weeks and like and like I see people eating Mr. Sophie I'm like you don't even know what you're doing dude like You got a fucking plant you didn't get sprinkles on that fucking vanilla cone you douche Katie knows so she'll know so we'll be we're in Chicago visiting her brother Yeah, she knows that like that's my shit now, and she was like You want to go to Dairy Queen, And I was like, more than anything.

And we're gonna eat it there. Like I need it, cause I might have to run it back. But like that is the thing where she'll be like, she knows that's like the thing where I'll be like, Van Lewin, cause now we found out at our apartment you can deliver Van Lewin. And I'm like, dude this is a fucking problem. And now I'm like, I'm almost at the point

where I need to cut it off Yeah, I had to wake up so I woke up at 7 today to go do Jim and Sam yeah And then I was like oh, I love to walk around the city I'm like I'm gonna walk I want to do the bonfire like a few weeks ago Whatever, and I was in shorts, and I was like never again I'll never go to a podcast in shorts because you just feel like such a dude like I was sitting here in shorts right now I was the whole time. I'd be like I'm in shorts My fucking knees are

Fucking bottom I'm at you I was wearing fucking short like you know just like a whole so I'm like I'm wearing sweatpants at Jim and Sam and I'm wearing sweatpants here in there So then I'm on dude Jim and Sam on 46th Street, and I walked all the way back downtown dude halfway through I was like I think I got To cancel the pop. I'm like I'm gonna faint and then I had I had some fucking desserts up at my at the apartment I'm staying in I had those fucking two desserts. I was like I'm ready to Like I'll do like two shows my thing right now is we just I just did Indianapolis and you land at the Indianapolis airport and there's one of those candy stores.

And I was with Maddie Weiner, she was openin' for me, and I landed and I went, hey, I know we don't know each other real well. You're about to see your gross side of me. I gotta go to this candy store. And I was like, oh, they got freeze-dried Skittles. And I grab it and she's like, Jesus Christ. Because you're like, watch basically

the real version of Tom Hanks is big. I have a child inside of me that's like Jesus Christ because you're like watch basically like the real version of Tom Hanks is big I have a child inside of me. That's why your first I can buy those Yeah, I have the money to buy a wax Coca-Cola bottle with the juice inside and you're just slamming love There's just a mountain of them in my hotel room with the with the blinds Yeah, it's hot it's starting to melt into the carpet. You're paying thousand dollar fees. I'm listening to the doors And she's like Dan. What are you doing? I'm like, I'm having gear deli squares and they're melting into the fucking sheets Yeah, it is like sugar people don't realize that that you quit alcohol and you're like

Oh, I had so much sugar going inside of me Yeah, and the cigarettes cuz like any time after a meal after anything was like cigarettes So then I was like never dude how bad I got into chocolate covered pretzels and chocolate covered graham crackers There's they don't sell them at Starbucks anymore. Oh, I never knew I know they get they have them at like Whole Foods They have met a few places I remember I walked like four miles in New York City looking for him one day and I ended up at Dylan's candy shop Great, RIP most of the locations and it was closed for like a private party I swear to you the woman who like owned it was there

and saw like a, the publicist for whatever, saw my reaction through the window and came out and was like, come inside and gave me a bag cause it was like a party where everything was free. So she gave me a bag and she was like, here, whatever you want. Cause she saw me like get to the window and I was like, and like, and then like, and then there's a security guard and he cuz she saw me like get to the window and I was like

There's a security guard and he was like we're closed for the pride and I was like and just the the drop you were a bum In the rain. Yeah, yeah, she was like come out There's a storm outside and I was for like 15 seconds and then like drop my shoulders my head and just like was walking Away, and she was like sir And I turn around and she was like and like she was a come in sure See yourself does that door stay shut like I know with alcohol that door stay shut oh yeah My life with sugar is that door stay shut? Yeah sugar it stays shut there you cigarettes. I think there's a chance to come back in my life See I don't when it's when it's cold out. Yes when it's hot out. No when it's only 90 degrees I'm like if you're smoking you're a disgusting you're addicted when it's 10 degrees out and so much five minutes late. I'm like, bro

Where it's raining? Oh Under an awning. Oh, I could run like fucking a whole pack of camel lights right now Which are now called camel blues. I'm so old now that people go like oh you mean like camel blues you have the camel lights Right They fucking switched it Yeah yeah Cause it's not light I went through every I was smoking Marlboro Reds for so long

Shut up And then I started a fucking band with my friends and I was singing And if I smoked a Marlboro Red I would throw up Really? Cause we were singing like death metal Oh so you're going And my voice And then I would smoke a Marlboro right I would throw up really because we're singing like death metal And then I would smoke a Marlboro light and throw up into a garbage can and you could hear it on our like recordings When we were like 15 recording in the studio you hear me like

Singing and then like don't like take a break to light a cigarette Then you just hear me throwing up into the garbage can you hear it hitting the bag? Oh, that wet and the heaviness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I get back on the mic. Hey, everybody. I'm on the road. August 22nd through the 24th, I'm going to be in Buffalo at the Helium Comedy Club. I love Buffalo Helium.

I've gone there for years. Let's pack it out. And then Comedy Zone, Charlotte, North Carolina. That is the 29th of August through the 31st. Those are going to be some fun shows. So come check me out in August through the 31st. Those are gonna be some fun shows. So come check me out in Charlotte at the Comedy Zone. Buffalo, Charlotte, San Jose, what a run. DanSoda.com for tickets.

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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Therapy, therapy, therapy. I'm gonna keep saying it. Go to therapy. Your brain is overactive and you have no idea what's going on. It's great to have someone help you sort out all the stuff that's going on in your head. I've been in therapy for 14 years. I hate to say it. I'm never gonna not do therapy. I need it. I've been in therapy for 14 years. I hate to say it, I'm never going to not do therapy. I need it. My own brain is very mean to me and I need someone to tell me that it's wrong or at least need them to help me figure out what I'm thinking. If you're

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So I remember my, cause I have asthma and I had a lot of asthma attacks. And I was a kid, I was in the hospital. My mom always said, like, if you smoke a cigarette, you'll die. And then at 12, I remember being like, I'm ready to die. I was like, I'm going to take this step and let's go my friend had Marlboro Reds And I fucking lit up a Marlboro Red took a pull and I almost fell backwards through a bookcase I remember being like whoa We're in an apartment and I almost like fell backwards and I was and then like I waited to die like I like took a few

Seconds didn't die and I was like this is What else are they lying about? And I just started fucking every within a week. I was just hitting everything I could get my hands on. Shout out once again, Jason Poyle and Nick Myers. We're behind a McFruigles, which is like a dollar store in Aurora and they had Marlboro Lights. And we each smoked a Marlboro Light.

And I was like, this is OK. All right. Whatever. And then I remember Jason came by my house. He's like, I stole a pack of cigarettes from my parents and I was like, let's go to the park. And so it started Marlboro lights, moved to Marlboro Reds, stayed there for a little bit, then went to Camel Specials, which were in a gold pack, all white cigarettes, and then landed on Camel Lights. And Camel Lights took me the rest of the way.

And then I had a little time with Marlboro 27s, you remember those? They're great. Great. Great. Probably, I'd go as far as to say, might be the perfect cigarette. They're really, but we would sit around

and get so fucked up, at least like once a week Would come up and be like the fuck is 27 No one ever explained like not like we knew what light was it me I don't I have no idea Marlboro's a special blend like the 27 try Yeah, dude, I mean camel I did camel wides for a little bit those were too much You know I remember camel camel wines are good But they were like you would put it in after smoking a regular cigarette like what is a fucking cigar? Yeah, yeah, it's like crazy one

I think parliaments might have did wides for a little bit Parliaments was like when I got to college and I started seeing how many people smoked parliaments that was the giveaway you did below Yep, cuz of the little thing you put in College and I started seeing how many people smoked parliaments that was the giveaway you did below. Yep I never got into Parliament me neither never I felt like smoking paper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I never like I didn't like anything about it I didn't like cuz I love to pack a pack the best but like pack in those problems I'm like I'm crushing the space you're ruining the tip. Yeah. Yeah, like a good pack You get that like that clearance of paper where you can even kind of twist it.

Yup, 100%. And then you're like, oh, that's a third one from the left and flip it upside down. There is a chance in my life. I mean, what am I acting like there's a chance? Katie and I talked about it because she just quit nicotine in January. She was doing Nicorette. Oh, wow. For how long?

She did Nicorette for like five or six years. So she's like Still kind of got it in her where she's like we can come back Yeah, we're waiting for World War when like the Israel stuff started popping off We're kind of like are we about to smoke? Are we about to come back? I don't think I'll ever go back to drinking cuz I I just got over it And yeah, you know, and it's also the amount of consumption is too much. I think about the drinks I haven't had in the last 11 years would fill up this apartment. I'm like, that's so gross.

Also- There's something about it's too much. You know how much candy you could have had? Right. And that's way better. Yeah. And it's also like you just feel so bad. And I just did a week in Jersey with my family and every day I would go feeling great and

everyone else is hungover. That sucks. And I'm like like this isn't yeah, I'm like I know but like I'm so grateful that now like if I check into a hotel And there's like a bar there I'm like does nothing if there's a fucking like if you go to like Vegas in the wind is like cookies peanut M&Ms I'm like you mother You're trying to kill me Refrigerated chocolate pretzels? I'm fucked.

Yeah, there had to be a moment where every season of Billions they did a partnership with Michters. So they would like, you'd go into your trailer and there'd be a bottle of 12-year-old whiskey. And you're like, guys'd go into your trailer and there'd be like a bottle of like 12 year old whiskey and you're like, guys, what are you doing? And you don't wanna be a dick, but you wanna be like, can you not put it in a place where I'm alone? Like at least put it around people,

but then they would be like, hey congratulations on the end of the season, here's a bottle and you're like, again, are you not reading the notes? You guys, you might as well hand me a handgun and go, hey, don't blow your brains out. You're like, I kind of want to. On the TV in your trailer, there's a commercial.

Like, mm, McNichols. Yeah, they're like, McNichols taste better than water. And you're like, I'm going to fucking. It's the number one. Dude, it was wild. But you're right, candy now. Oof. Like, a lot of comedy clubs do do that where they have like bowls of candy

Oh, then you just see me going give a plastic bag in the kitchen Let's go dude There's these things called honey mamas that are in like Whole Foods are in a lot of places But they have a peanut butter cup one they have the Peruvian chocolate one, and the only sweetener is honey. They've kind of saved my life in a way. And they're called honey mamas. Honey mamas, the only sweetener is honey,

and they're like these chocolate fudge. So if you leave them in the fridge, they're like hard, and they're kind of like a chocolate bar a little, but if you leave them out, they become like a fudge brownie. Bro, and the problem with me is, I start eating seven a day and they're like big but I'm like yeah but there's no problem. I gain like 15 pounds in a week and I'm like okay I need to count the amount that I eat because otherwise I'll get out of hand.

I just did the exact same thing. I quit soda in January. Yeah I heard yeah. I just love soda. So I was like oh I'll drink Gatorade I know when I heard you say that on the pod I was like I can't be the guy who breaks it to him that like you're like I drink iced tea it's like that's the same with soda dude it's the same thing. I was two in Gatorade and on my birthday I weighed myself and I was one of the

heaviest I've ever been and then I looked at the contents of Gatorade and I was like this is worse than soda yeah and even soda comes in 20 of Gatorade and I was like this is worse than soda Yeah, and even soda comes in 20 where Yeah, yeah, yeah, they don't fucking slam it. I'm all getting rehydrated If I wasn't drinking alcohol, I was drinking Gatorade lemon lime OG, I mean glacier frost is king Yeah, but no ice I still like the original and then like yellow, yeah, yeah, and then like and then like after three months I'd be like I need some like fruit punch or orange or glacier for frost or whatever, but then you know within three days I'm back to the old you feel healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like. Oh, I'm replenishing myself, dude I went to I went to Dolphins training camp last year, and they have like you know their food is unbelievable

It's like a private chef. You're a Dolphin fan? No, my buddy that I grew up with is the head coach. So. Oh, you're 49ers, yeah. Yeah, I'm diehard Niners, but Mike McDaniel, I grew up with. Oh wow.

Since we were like 12. And so he was like, oh, come watch a practice. So his wife was like, do you wanna get something to eat? And I was like, yeah. And we're in the, we're in like, you know, the cafeteria. But they have like everything state of the art, top of the line, but then they have refrigerators of cans of Gatorade.

Like old school cans of lime and orange Gatorade. Dude, when I tell you I did the old school thing where I put my shirt out and put cans, and she goes, what are you? And I was like, I'm taking these back to my hotel room. And I just had all these, and I'm walking around and meeting people, they around and like meeting people like your Mike's friend. I'm like

Yeah, I haven't done that move since I was like 13 immediately that like came back to me I'm like use your shirt Sure like oh, that's the Gatorade I'm like use your shirt But it's like it's crazy how that attic brain you have to know it doesn't go away Yeah, it's kind of like is a shape shifter. Yeah, we're like, okay. I can't be doing this like you are with the honey Mama. We're like, oh I'm doing it as bad as I did. But you know, back in the day it would last for years. Now it's like after five days I'm like, oh okay, something's up here. I'm laying in bed at night like shit

because it's like I'm having seven of these things that have 30 grams of sugar even though it's honey. It's that you're still like, I'm like, and I'm just thinking about waking up tomorrow so I can eat something so then I can eat honey mama Yeah, I'm like what's the easiest I'll have a hot dog Seven more honey mama's yeah doing it with coffee now. I'm starting to realize like yeah, my brains like have a car I was at the cellar last night, and I was like Have a coffee

It doesn't have sugar in it. And it was 10 o'clock and then I'm laying in my bed at one a.m. like, ah! And I'm like, why am I like this right now? And it's like, maybe because you drank a fucking 16 ounce coffee three hours ago. My uncle just quit coffee like four days ago and I've been telling him for years,

like I don't like to preach but I am like pretty knowledgeable now with like healthy shit. So like I try and do the assist or I'm like hey you might want to try Yeah, but he was like dude last four nights I got the first like more than three hour night's sleep in the last 20 years man. He's a guy I just stopped coffee. I'm like yeah, I need to hear that yeah He's like wow He's a pro like my days are better like everything's better. Because he said, I didn't even know people still measured coffee in pots, but he was like, I would have a pot a day.

That's nuts. That's such an old school thing. I'm having a pot a day. Yeah, he's only 60. I'm like, all right. I'm doing ounces. I'm like, I drink about 32 ounces of coffee a day. It's a fucking good amount.

And he's like, you know, I still make half a pot for my wife in the morning, but I just stay away. That's so fucking dangerous. I'd be like, if you were baking cakes, I can't fucking touch any of this do the honey mama's I Honey mama's you're welcome Episodes are you a peanut butter like a yes it tastes like Reese's, but it's healthy, but it's at Whole Foods Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. It's on of a but but don't don't make the mistake They have other flavors that you can they have like lavender

Tangerine tahini get the fuck out they have shit That's like butter the peanut butter and the Peruvian chocolate and the salted almond is bang. I mean all three. It's They're so I haven't been this excited about anything for years Dude, they're so good. I haven't been this excited to talk about anything for years. But you know what I mean? You get that in my finger and go, oh dude, and like when you explain it, it's the way I used to explain doing a shot and then a beer

where I go, Janison, and then you got a fucking cold bottle of Bud and it just fucking goes. But these honey mamas, I mean dude, I am gonna get, because I am genuinely excited about this. What was your last day of drinking? So I did this, I got hired for Guinness. So I was a brand ambassador. Wow. It's what took me out of waiting tables because I was doing stand up. I did Montreal and then I got hired for Guinness to do. They sent

me to Ireland. They like sent me to the Guinness storehouse and they fucking like I had unfettered access. I went to like the Gravity Bar upstairs and you're only allowed one Guinness, but I was meeting who at the time was the brewmaster, Fergal Murray. And they were like, I mean, so Irish. I was like, can I get another Guinness? And she's like, you're only allowed one here

at the Gravity Bar. And I was like, I'm meeting Fergal Murray. And she goes, you're meeting Fergal. And I go, yeah. She goes, if you're meeting Fergal, the second he comes up here, I'll pull you another one he walked up He's like and she was like So I work for One on the right is the Peruvian chocolate that's the first one I ever had so it still has a special place in my heart

The one over to the left that Peruvian chocolate. That's the first one I ever had, so it still has a special place in my heart. The one over to the left, that pink one, that's something, tahini, fuck that. But down, down under that, that's original Dutch, but now they call that salted almond. Awesome. And then, so good. And then they have a chocolate cake one,

which I'm not a huge fan, but it's not terrible. Dude, they have a lavender one that I'd rather get punched in the face. That bad? One. I was like alright I'm gonna try this I couldn't believe I almost disowned the brand yeah I was like this it tastes like you're eating a flower. Yeah, these are you bit with soap That's like a lot of like a kind of a soap to me, and I'm sure it's again No shit, dude of course that's what it's gonna taste like but then the the one that they don't have is the brand new

Can you see if they have the peanut butter? Anywhere that shit is like a month old how that they don't have is the brand new, can you see if they have the peanut butter anywhere? That shit is like a month old. How are they not sponsoring your podcast? Dude, I don't know, but I'm in love, you know what I think the problem is? Anytime, because I buy them in Whole Foods, but sometimes I try and order them online,

and whenever I go to order them, they're sold out. So I think they don't need help, I don't think they're big enough to need press to sell more. But if they're smart, this mean, this is better commercial. I'm on. You got me on. I guarantee you have because a lot of people that listen to me have stopped using substances, but still have fucking sweets. Yeah, I'm going to feel so bad if you're like these suck.

No, no, no. Yeah. I'll lie to you. I know. Oh, they rule. They're getting racist pieces. So I'm like, yeah, they suck. Ah, the back to it. The peanut butter you should have cold. Okay.

But the Peruvian chocolate and the salted almond, you can let that sit out for a little bit and it gets a little gooey. Yeah. And sometimes you need a spoon for that shit. Oh. You know what's funny is some of my friends, I can talk about using drugs, food.

I can't talk around Bobby Kelly. Because Bobby will be like, then I fucking, here's what you do. Because like former fat guys know like little tricks. Now here's what you do, you put it on the window sill for 30 minutes and then you put it in the freezer. But you crack the window just a little bit. Just get a little breeze in there

and they're like, this is fucking unbelievable. I was 200 pounds in the pilot of Sopranos. That's nuts. Yeah, I was a bigger I was a bit I used to fucking go crazy. Yeah, it's always there like oh, yeah that thing in you that Drugs or alcohol is always there. It's like one is good. Two is great three But why not know seven why count? Also when I could find it when I was a teenager and I found out that I could hold my liquor

Oh, yeah, finding out it was my rookie of the year moment where he throws the baseball and he's like, to home plate and I was like, oh I could polish a half a bottle of Jack and still walk around. You guys are big, big trouble. And you don't realize, oh yeah, this killed my father and my grandfather.

Probably shouldn't go down the same road. But you're like, it almost is like, they should do that in a superhero movie, where the superhero's dad got killed and they're like, you do have this power, but it will kill you. And all the pictures of his dad is that yellow from Jaundice.

Yeah, you're like, his liver stopped functioning after a while. But when you're, so what's funny is you were talking about going to the Nickelodeon Awards the kid choice Awards and the kids Freaking out about the other stars was that weird for you and Jamie when you have adults like Basically crying to you about how much the show meant yeah, that was weird cuz again It's like you had this these two lives were like kids didn't know who I was so I'd be in the park hanging out and like none of my friends so like on a

so I'd be in the park hanging out and like none of my friends. So like on a Thursday, Friday night, I could be like drinking 40, smoking blunts in Carshoals Park on 86th and like East End. And then Saturday, Sunday, I'd be flying first class to LA at the Emmy's thing at the peninsula. And then Monday I'd be back, like smoking and drinking in the park. And my friends, it was never a thing of like,

so how was it? Like the only time it ever, I had like a free crib, we called it when like, you know, parents went away and like, everybody came over to my apartment and somebody was like, what's that thing on top of your TV? And I was like, oh, that's a sag award. And they were like, oh, you won the saggy nut award? And then for years, my friends were just like,

yeah, Rob's got saggy nuts and they were like, saggy nut award and I was like oh yeah I can never bring that shit up that probably has to save you to a certain extent Totally cuz you're like if my friends don't my friends are just gonna make fun of me if I talk about shit My friends now don't give a fuck yeah. Yeah a show in Denver. They're like ah Yeah Whatever you're still a fucking giant headed weirdo. And now I'm back in New York City,

it's like I'm seeing my friends and I love how honest New York people are. I went to my best friend's place, his mom and dad are there and the dad was like yeah, I follow your show on Instagram. He's like you know, some of it's pretty good. Dude, that's so funny. And I was like thanks and he literally was like there's some stuff, it's not for me.

And I was like okay. They're not for me. Yeah. I'm gonna tell you, it still can sting if it's not for me and I was like okay. Not for me. It still can sting if it's done not right. But most of the time dude I put out my Comedy Central half hour my Comedy Central presents and my best friend Danny he's still in Aurora you know I go back there. His mom didn't like it. His mom just goes my mom doesn't think you're funny I don't know if you have to phrase it like that Right

She sees the talent she just doesn't like the jokes Yeah But he goes, nah she doesn't like it Well fuck you It is good cause you're like oh I'm gonna be treated normal Like there's not 100% I'm so happy that I have him to not be Like cause those kids in LA

Like no one would ever Say to some kid in LA on Nickelodeon like yeah You weren't good last year. You know what I mean like they're just cuz they're trying to get something Yeah, they're all like dude. I hate like the time I spent in LA It's like so much time was spent being like you'd be at somebody's house and they can't nobody likes this guy I'm like well, then what is everybody fucking here for like why are you guys hanging out? Yeah, LA and then do your face. They're like that like that was amazing yeah it's ago his dad invented Simon Simon the game Simon you remember Simon you're like I don't fucking care like I let's

get out of here let's go hang out be kids yeah I'm like that's sucks I mean you could you in a kind of a way it was fortunate that if you're gonna be in a one of the most classic legendary shows of all time you're doing it here yeah. Where people are like, yeah, we don't really, you know. And everybody on the show was from here. There were no LA actors on the show. Which is, yeah. It was awesome. Just having them being like, I'm very blessed.

Right. It's James Brown. And they're like, we need to go talk. And you're like, dude, get some fun out of this. We would hear about other shows and it would be like, yeah, there was a fight on set about whose trailer was close not even who had the biggest trailer But whose was parked closest to the front door of where they were shooting It's like we never even we would all go into one trailer and hang yeah, that's awesome

Yeah, we'd be like ill. It's fucking like everybody was just your sanity totally yeah That may I mean there's like a reason and you could see it on your podcast that you and Jamie are normal people And I think that's why you guys aren't like detached in a way where like because I mean it is like kind of like being like almost like a Royalty or the the child of like a president has got to feel the same way We're like people are kissing my ass, but not for the right reasons, right? Yeah in LA It just feels like that's all it is Yeah, and there was like but like the cool thing was like the guys like you know everywhere from the writers

They're actually like everybody got it to the point where like I don't know exactly what it was like the first couple years We didn't win best show at the Emmys or how the thing we just felt like Outcasts like if you felt weird so on like the third year We would go to Brad Grey's house who was like, you know the head of whatever Paramount I don't know what he's the head of but he was a great guy and He would have us over his house and the third year They started doing something called the Ecclie Awards and they said like Ecclie was Junior's retarded brother on the show and and they made like an Ecclie Awards where it was like you won like a cue ball

They would get up and be like the winner this year for best seen swimming and they would like have like like 1950 somebody like drowning in a black and white Like me swimming in a pool and they'd be like the winners Robert Eiler You walk up and get this like fucking pool cue ball like it was just always like us were like we don't belong you know did they ever have because you know obviously it's like the Mafia show did they ever have people around that even at your young age you're like oh this dude is dangerous Like this guy like you meet someone where you're kind of like because when you meet dangerous people or people that that really can like handle Themselves there's an air about them that you're like, oh, I don't fuck with you

Oh, there's yeah, there was no fuck it like so Tony Cerrico Who's Paulie Walnuts with the great and say he did time like he was really he's like a legit guy, right? And there was like he showed up to my communion or my confirmation whatever with the guy and he's like, yeah This is Jimmy the hat like, you know, and you're like, oh, hey. Hello, Jimmy Whatever with the guy and he's like yeah, this is Jimmy the hat like you know and you're like oh hey hello Jimmy And they would have their plus ones and like those are the type of dudes who would be coming around and you're like okay So it was like this weird thing of like you know my 14 or 15 you started being like oh I kind of hang out with like dudes in the mob Like the kind of thing of like even if your dad was a rapper and you're like, that's pretty fucking cool. Yeah, I'm like, all right, I can hang out. That's gotta be the kind of thing of,

even if your dad was a rapper, and you're like, oh shit, this guy is legit. And then when I light up that cigarette in front of my dad, I'm like, yeah, you want me to tell Jimmy that you had a problem with this? Jimmy the Hacker combined, I don't think you're mowing the lawn on Saturday. I think you got two busted legs.

Yeah, there was a moment where we did an episode where it was a celebrity boxing event or whatever, and they kept us all in the same area while they're doing like, changing the camera angles on Billions, and I'm just talking to this like older dude, but I had the air of like, this guy has done, this guy is rich.

You just like felt it. They wanted to bring billionaires on the show to be like, hey, Bill, they're always billionaires. And I'm talking to this guy and David Levine, one of the creators, the guy walked away, he goes, you know who that is? And I was like, I have no idea. It's just like a powerful old man.

He goes, it's the guy that shorted Enron. And you're like, ho, no shit, that old guy. And you're like, that's fucking nuts. And you're like, just have no idea, because you're like, I'm just talking to him. We're just complaining about the sandwiches that were wet, you have no idea cuz you're like I'm just talking to him We're just like complaining about the sandwiches that were that yeah You know there were guys on Sopranos that when they cracked their knuckles you were like Fiscally like oh that guy's could probably buy my whole family and sell me yeah on the Sopranos you're like oh this guy

You can like see the way it moves and you're like oh shit All right I remember one time like Tony Serico heard that like I was acting crazy at like a poker game But it didn't really happen. He like heard I lost like a huge amount of money and I was like, dude I've never even gambled more at the time like more than like a thousand dollars I heard I lost like 20 grand and a poker and all that stuff and I was telling him I was like, yo I'm telling you and like you know again, it's a kid telling him like you're wrong Like you don't know and he looked at me. He was like I got my ear to the ground kid, you know

I was like 20 grand that's some fucking you know mob run casino Downtown like it wasn't funny and he definitely had to hear it and go, I'm gonna talk to the kid. Right, and it was just, again, it was like some guy who wanted to probably talk to him and he heard like some story of me that someone exaggerated to exaggerate to exaggerate and then he's like, oh yeah, this kid blew 20 grand in an hour.

My friend's illegal casino. And then it was like, you know, I probably played one hand of blackjack and lost and was like, who knows what it was, but like. Do you still play poker? Yeah, a lot Yeah, yeah, I mean that's gotta be Is do you notice when you're playing like a big game?

That people don't recognize you until like middle of the game has that happened where people are like looking up and they're like Are you I've had every like I've played so much a guy I moved to Vegas like just a party and play like I went I went a little so I went to Vegas for two weeks, and I came home like a year and a half later Yeah, and I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there by myself I had no friend. I had like one guy who's a kind of friends there, but I was just like no I'm going I was going to play the World Series of poker and I got like 275th place out of like whatever eight

70,000 people and it paid like over 40 grand So I was like I'm gonna take this 40 grand and just see if I could like live in Vegas for a bit and like Get an apartment in the nicest fucking condo building here rent somebody's apartment. Let's let's hang out Yeah, and then yeah turned into like 18 months, and I was yeah, I was going on my mind But like through all that time I've seen it all like I've I've sat at a game for ten hours or nobody knew who I was I've walked up to a table where people started like freaking out. I've had the full like Do you I mean if you're trying to win money from these people? Yeah, is it easier if they know who you are because you kind of like it's always a little lost

It's different also because some people when they find out who I am they're like Oh, yeah, you play a lot like you you do play. We're like there's some people who are like Oh, you're just the guy from Sopranos. So you must be here to fucking fuck around Like I'm gonna take your money and then you were like not got you right? Yeah, and I'm like no I have more hours than anyone to put into it. You're like all I have is free time exactly. Yeah, you Do you still go to Vegas a lot No, so I lived in Vegas a second time when I was sober and I was like this That's what that was

Jab I was leaving with to be like I cannot do Vegas I go to skank fest every year great fun awesome comedy festival, but I have about fun, awesome comedy festival, but I have about two days, three days. Yeah, honestly, if Vegas had a couple of spots for me that had like healthier food, I couldn't make it good because it's like they have great gyms, they have spas, they have, like I could make it a good time, but the food in Vegas is so bad.

I mean, it's all deep fried, it's all fat, it's all like, I know what you mean. It's so bad. But it also is like the hospitality capital of the world Yeah, the hotels are everything you need Kind of in the wrong way right can get the bad candy you can get anything sent up to your room Yeah, this isn't what I need, but they know like if we scratch that itch you'll stay around put your money in it Yeah I remember one time at Caesar's they all whatever I got paid like 10 grand to do a thing and they're like we could pay

You the 10 grand or we could just leave the cash in your room and chips. Like you want chips in your room? And I was like, yeah right. Here goes that, here goes that. Yes, yes I do. My tail starts to tick. Yeah, I thought, so why's your ass shaking? It's a tail that doesn't exist.

But you understand where I'm at. Yeah, there is a moment where like, if someone was like, well we got weed and PlayStation in your room, I'd be like, I don't need to go anywhere. I can be here for 10 days. Now it's like personal chef. If you told me like, there's a personal chef and you text them whatever you want,

that's all I would need. I'd be like, okay, I'll stay forever. Yeah. Where do you go to play poker now? So living in Austin, during COVID, a few of like the biggest poker players in the world got together and opened up or kind of like expanded this small poker spot. And now it's like few of the biggest poker players in the world got together and opened up or kind of expanded this small poker spot.

And now it's one of the, maybe the number one place to play in the United States. That's amazing. Yeah, it's called The Lodge. And it's just at, it's called what? The Lodge. And it's in Austin. It's in Austin. You go there 24 hours a day, game going, hanging out.

That's incredible. Bring your own beer. So people are bringing bottles to the table. Everyone's taking shots. And when you're in Vegas or when you're when I would play in other places like LA when someone loses a hand they're mad. Yeah. In Texas they lose a hand and they're like oh nice hand kid. Like you got me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're like call me with my pants down. You know. You're like Texas sayings. Yeah. They're like well a bull wearing a dress. You got me on that. I guess you spice my twangs. And I'm like, yeah, okay, sure.

You should go to a place, I say this to everyone that lives in Austin, it's my favorite place for breakfast. My uncle told me about it. It's called Cisco's on East Fifth. And it's like a Mexican restaurant. And it is fucking unbelievable. I think I might've heard it's breakfast taco thing.

I think I might, Jamie's husband I think might be obsessed with that spot. Cisco's, it fucking rules Okay, if you get the me gas dude with fucking chorizo It's like when I go down there if I if I go down there to do podcasts or shows or whatever It's the first place I go to have you been to swear day. No just those tacos. Okay They're the best tacos I think I've ever had cuz all my friends are moving there like Shane lives down there now and like Yeah, you know with the comedy mothership and all that stuff like it makes sense to go do

You know if I go down there to go do your mom's house or like that kind of stuff I tried I think I was trying to do your guys's podcast But it was on a day where I had a show in like San Antonio, so I couldn't do it I love going to Austin for the food. Yeah, I mean the food is fuck best sushi I've ever had really uchi you see hi that place really the best sushi I've ever had really uchi uchi that place really the best sushi I've ever had but that shit weird day those tacos It's it's uh is it braised short rib tacos and they put some like something they call like magic oil on oh my god And and every time I go the feel like listen. I like the people there whatever the waitresses are like you know

That's a lot of food. I hate I know it's a lot of food. I've been to a restaurant before. Just on a pocket square that says I can put this away. Yeah, this isn't my first time. And then, it was so funny, cause I took my, so it was my brother, my sister, and my brother's girlfriend,

there were four of us. And I'm like, guys, I got this. And I just start fucking rifling shit off. That's the best. I'm like, we want four orders of the swear swear So Darrow taco, we want this we want this we want that and like I wasn't even done She's like, um, I just want to stop you like that's a lot of food and I was like, I've been here before like I also It's driving your bill up. Right? Right? Right? Yeah, I'm like, hold on. Let me so then I would never stop someone from doing that

What was cool is we ate every fucking bite of food and at the end she came over to the edge of the table and she goes, next time I'll shut my fucking mouth. Really? And I was like, oh, I love you. Oh yeah, I was like, I love you. That self-awareness just got you 30%. Yeah, and me and my brother go, how long before she says that's a lot of food? We're like, how far do I make it into my order?

Like 60% of the way? You should know that's a lot. Yeah, We're like, how far do I make it into my order? Like 60% of the way. You should know that's a lot. Because I eat once a day. So every time I go, they're like, that's a lot. I'm like, I'm very hungry. This is all I have? Don't take this fucking away from me. It's all I have. There's nothing better than when

someone knows a place or knows how to order for a group, the feeling of that, going out to eat with Tim Dillon, is the, when I tell you that my mom still talks about it, so years ago Tim opened for me at Comedy Works in Denver and they opened a quality Italian there, and his, I mean which is unbelievable,

but his uncle works for Smith and Walensky, which owns all that, the quality meat, quality Italian there, and his, I mean which is unbelievable, but his uncle works for Smith and Walensky, which owns all that, the quality meat, quality Italian. Tim Dillon's. So Tim was like, listen, they're opening a quality Italian, we gotta go to lunch. And I was like, mom, you should come to lunch with Tim and I, and she was like, I would love to. And Tim was like, I got it.

My mom ordered the drinks, her drinks, and then Tim was like, sausage and peppers, the chicken palm pizza, and just kept it going. My mom would go, that's still to this day probably the best lunch I've ever had in my life. Because Tim was just like a maestro. Like a food maestro. And it happened just recently with Katie and I in Boston.

I was doing the Wilbur the night after Tim, and I was like, you still in town? He's like, we'll get lunch. And then he's like, we'll go into this seafood I was like you still in town? He's like we'll get lunch and then he's like we're going to this seafood place and Katie's from Boston She's like this place fucking rules we walk in he's in the back booth and he's like I already ordered the seafood tower It's one of the coolest experiences is to have like if I got when I come to Austin We're going out there to SWRTOS and I'm letting you run the table yeah you fucking point guard it so McCusker was nice enough to do our pods who were like oh like you know

we'll go out to fucking sushi after whenever you just moved there I'm like yeah let's go he's been talking Star Wars non-stop for months but what did he say when he came face to face with Kylo Ren? Will you join us? I build a lightsaber. This is magic. Share it at Walt Disney World Resort, the most magical place on earth. And when we sat down, I'm like, if everyone is OK with this, I can just order for the table. And they were like, well, should we do that or omakase?

And I was like, well, my order is better than what that guy did. The guy from Japan is in the back. I'm like, I know much better than that guy. This guy, I know he's spent his whole life, let me fucking run this shit. That's so funny, and you're like, I got this. Yeah, and I fucking just, and it was a great dinner. At the end of the meal, they're just thanking you.

It's like a food orgasm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna go like. It's kinda like you cooked. Yeah, and they're like, but they're like, laying in bed being like, you just rocked my world. Yeah, and I'm. You wanna go like. It's kinda like you cooked. Yeah, and they're like, oh. Yeah. But they're like laying in bed being like, you just rocked my world. Yeah.

And you're like, I told you. And I'm just rolling on my sleeves, I'm like, ah, you know. I come here to munch once in a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude, I fucking love that shit because I always am afraid I'm gonna mess up in like, if I order my, sometimes I'll order something

and someone else will order something else, I'm like, I shoulda got that. Yeah, yeah, see, I won't do it in a place I haven't been. Yeah, but when I my spots I'm like I I'm like everybody can I should just get there 20 minutes early order and then everyone gets there and just starts coming. When we would do Moon Tower in Austin We would always like Big Jay and I and like a lot of comics will go to Cisco's and I'd be like I'm not telling you how follow my lead yeah yeah, yeah me guys get the side of tortillas and biscuits because then they bring the Like the ketchup things of honey and butter you put on the biscuits, and you're like this is just fucking unbelievable

Do you remember Jackson Hole and in New York City? It was like a famous like burger spot And they were so famous for their burgers like you show up. There's a plate of pickles you order your burger It's like a you know It's like an institution. This is what you do I remember I went there with a girl one time and we're ordering and she was like I'll have the chicken sandwich And it was like the waiter was like I don't she's like I don't even know if we have Cuz everyone just picks like the burger with this yeah, and she was like uh yeah I think like we can do that, and I was like I'm sorry. You know I'm looking I'm like this Yeah, she doesn't know the culture

Culture there was a burger place a secret burger place in the Parker Meridian Called the burger spot or the burger shack here. Yeah in New York on 57th Street, and I used to work at Like this is like oh seven I worked at K rock at WXRK Which was 40 West 57th and like you know where Stern used to work or whatever and one of the old guys from K Rock Was like hey, I'm gonna take you to this burger place like you should it's literally half a block away And I was like yeah, I love burgers Yeah, and we like went and he's like here you order this way this way this way And I got up and made an ass out of him where I was like can I get bacon on it and he's like here you order this way this way this way and I got up and made an ass

Out of him. Yeah, can I get bacon on it and they were like And the guy was like I got cheese. Well, shut out cheese mo cheese Mo's like move and then he just ordered it and I was like, oh this fuck. I'm sorry Yeah, that's like when you realize you're like, I'm an asshole It's like the Philly cheesesteak when you get up to the thing. That's what you do is do is wit and you're like Today bud, you got a fucking game. Yeah fucking lying behind you know You're like they want on your power you like is that gonna give me heartburn? I got time for you buddy. Yeah

When I was opening for Jay years ago in Philly, he took me to gyms on South Street and he was like We're not gonna do cheese stick. We're gonna do hoagies and he like told me how to order it and I was like, oh, yeah Okay, just go with God just go with whoever is there and is confident. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta have that trust That's what I'm saying. We were talking about earlier today. It's 90% is the confidence. It's just like dude if someone's that confident Yeah, I'm with it. I'm staying at a friend's place now who? confident yeah I'm with it I'm staying at a friend's place now who they're away for like two weeks and fucking wherever they are yeah Poland she's Polish and I would go to visit my friend all the time when I'd walk into that building they'd be like hey sir what apartment are you go like you know you're visiting whatever

and now just because I have the keys in my pocket when I walk in they're like hey how's your day but like and I just walk right and it's like oh I could have done this dude the whole you I walk in they're like hey, how's your day? But like and I just walk right and say I could have done this dude The whole you just walk in there with the fucking confidence and it's crazy You say that we moved into this building like a year and a half to your less than two years ago And I've never lived with a doorman building and I've always done that like I might as well use my full name when I go In there like my name is Daniel Soder, and I'm here to go to this apartment Yeah, and now I've noticed the same thing. When we have a new door guy, I live there.

So I just walk in, I'm like, hey, and he's like, hi sir. And you're like, all right. And not like, can I help you or any of that? And it is confidence. You know when I had that confidence? I used to play in a softball league for the restaurant I worked in. And it was like a booze league, it was a beer league.

So we'd drink in the afternoons on Mondays, playing softball in Central Park. Joe List calls me, and Shane Moss, the comic, is doing Conan, and I'm like drunk from my softball game. And he's like, yeah dude, 100%. And he goes. You did a fucking home run that day, dude I'll forget it.

Dude, I was feeling it. I was like, I think I was like three for five. Ask Conan if he wants me on either fucking. Yeah, dude, and I'm drunk, I think I was like three for five. Ask Conan if he wants me on either fucking. And I'm drunk, I'm no joke, I think it was the day we won the championship and we're having like a barbecue in the park and I'm hammered and list goes,

Shane Moss is doing Conan, I got an extra ticket, do you wanna go? And I was like, I'll meet you at 30 Rock. Dude, I walked in, there was lines out the door, I'm drunk, I don't really remember how it went. I sat like a row behind the Max Weinberg 7. And I wasn't with Joe. You're in the band.

Joe, yeah, I'm playing drums. Max, I got it, move over. But Joe List was like, you didn't get your ticket. And I was like, oh, I don't know, I'm here. I was texting him, I'm like, I'm here. I'm like two rows behind the Max Weinberg 7. He's like, oh, I don't know. I'm here. I was texting him. I'm like, I'm here I'm like two rows behind the Max Weinberg 70s like how and you're a drunk confidence Yeah, I think I said Shane Moss's name like three times. Yeah, Shane Moss Shane Moss I don't know this guy's walking with a part of the door guys like oh his dad owns the build

Yeah, I think that is That's Marty Rock He's a Rockefeller I Think that's one of the Rockefeller kids. Yeah dude, it's wild. That, like, people don't realize, I mean that's basically the whole premise of Catch Me If You Can. Right.

It's just if you have the right confidence. But you show that at a restaurant, you're like, I'm ordering a plate of poop, and I'm like, this is gonna be the best plate of poop I've ever eaten. Oh, I hope it's a steaming pot. I mean dude, the way you had the confidence with honey mamas, I'm like, I'm in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm locked in. I'm gonna go to Whole Foods and buy it. And there's some things in my life where like when I tell someone to do something, if they go, oh, I didn't like it, I go, you're an idiot. Like I have zero, like I'm like, no, that's not, that's you. Like you know, like what I was talking today about love on the spectrum. When somebody says they don't like love on the spectrum, I'm like, oh,'s something wrong with you didn't watch it. Yeah, right. I'm like how did you watch that? People be like I went to I went to WWE rot sucked. I got you didn't do it right

Yeah, you gotta get into the chance. Yeah, I gotta talk shit to a little kid around you Yeah, I took one of my friends to summer slam and he watched me and an eight-year-old kid go back and forth And he's like you're sick in the head and I was Like how fun is it though? Yeah, that kid's gonna hate me the rest of his life because I kept going John Cena He was like John Cena John Cena I was like kind of taunting the kid and he's like fuck this kid But then at the end of the match I was like good

Cena one and I was like hey kid and he was like hands hands He gave me like the nod of approval. He's like he's gonna have a big. What do you call it? Like the cardboard? Yeah, what is that called? Oak tag? Yeah, I think Oak tag's like Dan Soderstein. He's like fuck it that guy's been a villain since I've been nine years old Fuck that guy dude. I was obsessed with wrestling growing up And I remember we got good seats to one that my uncle was obsessed with wrestling growing up and I remember we got good seats to one that my uncle was obsessed with too and he got us good seats to I think Survivor Series. Shout out.

And I remember going up to like right up against the fence to meet Bret Hart. Hell yeah. And like putting my arm out as he ran out and I got to the front and I was arm out, fat, couldn't be happier and then all of a sudden everybody else came from behind me and squished my fat ass

against the rail, everything. Dude, I left there and I looked at my uncle, I was like, I don't think I like wrestling anymore. Yeah, I was like, I'm just, I'm over it. You know what, because if a guy like me leaving over you, going, Brett, Brett, you're the greatest of all time. Sweating, smelling, and I was like, I'm gonna die. And just no one listening.

And I remember being like, I'll never do it. Every concert I ever went to after that, my friends would be like, we're fucking going out to front. Nope, not me, I stay in the back. The second you feel a crowd push you, unintentionally, at any live event, you kinda go, number one, we're animals. You like understand that we're animals.

Yeah. And number two, you're like, yeah, fuck this. I learned very early on when I was working at a radio station, I would do that thing where I was like, I want to go to front, I want to go to front. And then my friend that worked at the radio station was like, no, no, no, no, no, you want to stand in front of the sound booth. He goes, because that's the guy that's listening, right? And you're going to hear the concert the best. So now with my

friends, I'll be like, get to the sound booth, get to the sound booth. And except one time we're going to see Pearl Jam, and people know this story, but I took mushrooms or truffles, whatever they call it. We went to go see Pearl Jam in Amsterdam and we were in front of the sound booth, everything was great, and then I was like, I need a water so bad.

And I went to go get a water and I came back and there's no openers in Europe. So just the band comes out and the lights went off and I couldn't get back to my spot. And I was like, this isn't worth fighting for. I was on enough drugs where I was like, I'm gonna stand at the very back of the arena cause I'm freaking out now.

I was getting like heavy visuals and I was like, this isn't worth the fight. Well that like, what was it? A UK comic was on here, right? And he was talking about like Adam Rowe seven people got crushed in that. Oh, yeah, dude. That's like a crazy 30 Yeah, I want to watch I heard you talk about that. I was like I gotta watch Yeah, that of Rowe rules as a comic but yeah, he was talking about being a

Liverpool fan and a bunch of their fans got crushed because bad security guard they open the wrong part of the stadium You'll see you like you should watch because it's a fucking out of right 30 for 30 But it ends up being someone opened the wrong gate and I mean that's what happened with the who In Cincinnati like people got my worst nightmare. Yeah getting crushed is like awful, dude Dude when that like Travis Scott Astro world thing. Yeah, cuz people get so excited They don't realize like oh someone's It's always hating movies where someone falls when people are running and then they just get back up You're like it wouldn't be that easy. Yeah, yeah, I get a couple footprints on you. Yeah

Yeah, but if you think about like you ever been pushed by one person and now imagine 10,000 and they're and they're not singular and that rail ain't moving like that nuts. Oh And they're and they're not singular and that rail ain't moving like that nuts. Oh I've been at concerts where they've had to tell people like back the fuck up. You're crushing people in the front row Yeah, I've seen people get like pulled out of the yeah They like pull somebody out of the front then you go around to the back Yeah, dude that and I don't but then the crazy thing is there's still people who are like I gotta get to the front They just want to be that close. I Think it might be a genius strategy to go,

crush me. They're like, what? And they're like, crush me. Everyone on three. They're gonna pull me out and I'm gonna go backstage. Yeah. Just get a bar in your thing, like, help. 10 seconds later, you're just back in the back of the crowd

and you're like, wait. Yeah, how did the fuck? I got all the way put back there. I was in the front. Yeah, it's like in the machine that pushes the quarters off of your face. Yeah, then it goes all the way back. And you're just like, how did I get all the way? back there. I was in the front. Yeah, it's like in the machine where it pushes the quarters off of your face. Yeah, and then it goes all the way back. And then you're just like, how did I get all the way?

Or they don't notice you. You're like, Lady Gaga, look at me. Ah! Yeah. This is the fucking thing. You're like fucking. In your fucking solar plex. Yeah.

Ah! Ah! Dude, I can't thank you enough for coming on the podcast. Oh, man. Dude, thanks for having me. What a fun hang. I'm sorry for my fat, stupid dog that would have given you allergies.

You know, because I have asthma, when I have allergies from a dog or a cat, I have to like go to the hospital. Yeah, I don't want that. You have to get like an oxygen thing. And I'm like, and I tell, like, you know, Zolo, the producer from YMH, he's so great, but I always have to tell him like,

can you ask if there's a dog or a cat there? Which is like the worst. I hate asking it so much. What I love about having homeless pen produce it is he was like, I got the setup at home and we could just come and hang out and he was like, no dog. And I was like, thank God. Because then I felt like the dog guy where I'm like, well, I don't really know if I have any studio space and I love my dog so much.

The hair's everywhere. We all are everywhere. It's not like she's not allowed on the couch like that's her couch I yeah sleeps on that guy and I love dogs too cuz like I can chill with 50 We're like, you know hyper Okay, but it's like the short-haired dogs and I'm solar and you know, what's funny? It's like I've had that Larry David moment We're like I've been in an elevator and like in my building and like a dog goes to jump on me I'm like, I'm sorry

I'm a lawyer like you have to explain and a dog goes to jump on me and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm alert. You have to explain. And then the next day they see me hugging a dog in the lobby because of that. You just don't like my dog. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, it's a poodle, mix. Hyper-allergenic, hyper-allergenic. Yeah, like a golden doodle.

You fucking just hated my dog. They're like, fuck you, you piece of, I hate surprise. You're not even Italian, you piece of shit. You Irish piece of shit. I hooked you up. All you mix are the same. I hope you get bad draws on cards. Don't fucking ruin poker for me.

Check out the podcast, Not Today Pal, you and Jamie on the YMH. I gotta get back down there. Thank you, yeah man, come hang with me. I think once Shane's back down there from Philly, I'll come down there, cause he's my rich friend with an ice house house so I don't have to stay in there and I can pop in and do spots. But at the end of every podcast, we go through a pack of cards. you