Soder - 55: Hollywood Legends with David Gborie | Soder Podcast | EP 55

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

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We got a hairless cat. Do you? Oh, you guys got it. Yeah, it's sick. You want to see it? Yeah. Dude, it's crazy. Oh, your phone's charging.

Oh, my phone's charging. I'll see it after. You don't realize it? Because you're like, you don't realize it? You've never seen a cat's pussy before. That's true. I don't think I've. What if this is how we find out I have like a fucked up.

Yeah, dude. You go, dude, everyone thinks soda's so cool. He fucks cats. He loves cat pussy. He knew like in detail about cat pussy. It's weird, cause I, she was like crawling and I was like, what? Like Tawny Catane over a car. Yeah, on top of a car.

She had her pussy out. She went again on her own. Yeah. She's like, aw fuck, hit the steam machine. I'm a sexy ass cat. That's how it is when you wash it. It looks like a fucking, like one of those old bikini car washes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I bought a Datsun just to let it dry out. I started a hair metal band. It's just for my cat, dude. What's her name? Grandma. Nice. Grandma. Pretty good cat. A grandma, a cat who you can see her pussy calling her grandma It's pretty fun like all levels, but it is a weird cuz it's like above the butthole I just you just you never saw it. You never seen it before wait

The cat pussy is above the butthole like what they said about Chinese girls. Whoa We're recording this is great. Oh no. I like all this. I don't want to lose anybody. I love your culture. I love your pussies. Konnichiwa.

Wouldn't it be great if you had a light understanding of Japanese? Domo sora kore sevada. He goes, I apologize for my dishonor. I know bad luck in Chinese is huk chai. Okay. Because I used to work at a casino, and if you were winning, they would call you that. What casino did you work?

Artichoke Joe's across the street from San Francisco Airport. Really? Yeah. In South San Francisco? Yeah, San Bruno technically, but yeah, same thing. San Bruno? Oh yeah.

What the fuck? Oh yeah, till they got ripped. You have a life, David Borey's one of my favorite human beings on the planet, one of my favorite comedians working, but you have a life, David Borey is one of my favorite human beings on the planet, one of my favorite comedians working, but you have a life, you and Sam Talent, you guys are best friends, grew up together, went to high school together, you guys both are like old men that were trapped in young men's bodies, like your stories. Well like trapped in old men's bodies too.

Yeah, but we have the pain of old men. Yeah, young men's faces, but we got their knees. But you and Sam Talent, you guys both have stories where you're like, I remember when I was a train conductor in Utah for a year. Yeah, I remember when he was an ice cream man. I didn't even know that. Yeah, it was weird.

He was an ice cream man? Yeah, he was an ice cream man. In Colorado? Yeah, in Denver. But only for like six months. You have to ice cream a little. I feel like when it gets winter. Yeah, they don't need you anymore.

Yeah, they're like, fuck out of here. What are we doing? Well, actually in Colorado, might be the one place where the next day it's 72. Well, and you can just cut off the cream and start selling ice. You know what I mean? That is true.

Damn, I didn't know he was a fucking ice cream man. So when did you move to San Bruno? So I was in Colorado and I was working at a call center and I got a DUI. And I was like, come on man. And I was like 20 miles from work. So I was like, fuck, I'm fucked. But my parents were living in San Mateo.

Okay. No, Brisbane, right there. Yeah, that's all South San Francisco. Yeah, it's all there. And so I went over there and they just like, I just answered a Craigslist ad and they were like, do you gamble? And I was like, no, cause I didn't.

I was like, no, not at all. And then they gave me the job working at the casino. Yeah, cause they want people who are not afflicted by the gambling disease. Dude, I was the only one who didn't lie about it. Everyone else is just itching. Hardcore, hardcore, I was the only one who didn't lie about it. Everyone else. Hardcore hardcore gear. Everybody was like loan sharking and shit like that, but it was like mostly

Chinese guys. Yeah. So they would like slow play you like, so I'd be at the table and they'd be like, Hi David. And they'd like wave all dumb and like, Oh, I love pictures. And then you'd see them like out by the garbage can like some guy. Yeah, it was really cool. But then they got raided by the FBI and they wanted me to go work at the casino

out in like San Pablo, but I didn't have a car. Yeah. And they were like, we won't give you, uh, unemployment. And I was like, fuck that. So I quit. And then I was, you were a dealer? No. So like, this is so weird.

So in California games, it's like, if it's on native land, they can have slots and all that, but if it's like California land, it's not technically a casino, because you can't have games of chance, you can just have like, you can just have peer-to-peer gambling. So it's technically not a casino,

it's a California card room. And like, the way it works is like, so like, if we're playing blackjack, let's say the three of us are playing blackjack, we sit down at the table, the dealer's hand is the bank. But in California, the bank rotates. So one hand, all bank, next hand, your bank, next hand, your bank.

Oh, so they're basically like, that's the side step. Is there like, oh, so it's three friends playing cards. But what happened was, let's say you're banking and me and you were betting $20 a hand We both win, but you only put 30 as the bank juice starts or action starts at me I get my 20 back you only get 10 now. We're like fuck this guy, but he's like whatever I only wanted to bank for 30 bucks anyways, and then and then that's how banking worked So my company came in and we were like because you can pass the bank. That's an option

Yeah, so my company came in and we were like we'll you can pass the bank, that's an option. Yeah. So my company came in and we were like, we'll bank every hand up to 50 K so nobody ever loses, but you have to let us bank every time. So but then it was fucked up because it was basically even the dealers were against me. Yeah, nobody you're like, you're, it's called corporation. So maybe like you're the gambling world, the casinos and all that shit. When you realize how complicated and how many workarounds are happening, it's probably more than government. It's like, it's crazy how they're just like,

yeah, yeah, no, how do we keep going? Like the lack, I remember like when I was young and I started going to Vegas when I was like in college or whatever. I remember being like, noticing the lack of sunlight, the oxygen getting pumped in. That's just the tip of the iceberg. There's no clocks anywhere. They just want you to sit down and go.

There's a bunch of prostitutes. I wonder how much Vegas is pissed off about like gambling apps, cause they gotta be like, that was the thing they bring people in to gamble. FanDuel is gonna kill us all brother. I mean, unless you're sponsored. No, I don't fuck with, I don't do that.

Okay, yeah dude, that's just, have you noticed it back home in Colorado? Everybody gambles now. I mean dude, I noticed that everywhere I guess I think it's like what I what I think is crazy about it is there's like Little kids growing up learning about gambling felt like smoking a cigarette where you're like, I'm doing an adult thing felt like smoking a cigarette where you're like, I'm doing an adult thing. Yeah, but you didn't do it for real, I felt. No. You couldn't hit a parlay in seventh grade.

No. You know what I mean? I remember being old and not even knowing what the spread was, but like finding out about a spread. But when you find out, when you find out about like, people running numbers, you're like, oh, you had to be. It was real gambling. You had to be dangerous.

And you should, it should be, we shouldn't just be able to, you should have to call, I'm assuming an Italian guy. Yeah. I don't want to be two races. I'm not that guy. But I'm just saying the mafia, La Costa Nostra, they benefited for years. But like, you had to like, it should be hard.

You shouldn't be able to just like. I mean, it was a thing where like, if you found out someone was into gambling, you were like, oh, you gotta know some dangerous people. Yeah, you're like a whole other guy. I mean, similar to like buying weed. Like when you used to buy weed. I think buying weed was easier.

But I'm saying that there was an element of danger. Oh yeah. Back in the day. Weed was kinda scary. Like before, when you. Remember when weed used to get dry? Like when you would try to get weed and they'd be like, it's dry. Yeah, or swag just in general.

I smoke so much swag. Oh my God. Slice it off the brick, brother. Oh, dude, I worked. I worked at this radio station in Tucson. Shout out KFMA Day. Oh yeah, of course. Very real thing.

It's the Southwestern's most popular concert, outdoor concert festival. Okay, it was pretty big We got like huge bands. That's like a major market though, right? Do song. It's no Phoenix is yeah, Phoenix is big Okay, they had they had a big station, but we got KFMA day I worked at KFMA and we'd get like my first year working there was like Foo Fighters Huba stank Oh, that's I was gonna think it was like an afro man. No, no Huba stank. Oh, that's, I was going to think it was like an Afro man. No, no, no. We're getting, uh, we're getting side bands. Yeah. Yeah. I think we got dynamite hack one year.

Okay. You guys are doing okay. It was basically like, you know, remember Katie, you know, Katie CL in Colorado. Yeah. It was Katie CL of Tucson. Okay. So I got hired there. Okay. That's pretty cool though. It was awesome, but bad weed in Arizona. I assume this one guy that I, like weed was, I lived with a weed dealer, but I didn't have any money. But this dude that worked at La Caliente, shout out Pepe.

He did get caught and he was illegal, and he like got put over. Guy was like the best, I think it was 102.1 La Caliente, and you would open the door and it'd be like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, and he'd be like, hola, hola, hola, hola, Los Caliente de La Caliente! He was awesome at that shit.

But he would, my friend, Greg Rampage, USA, who's still in radio at the end, Gregor, he was like my big brother at the station, and he taught me. And the first time he was like, are you high? And I was like, oh shit, because I showed up to work high. I was like, yeah. And he's like, what the fuck, man?

And he's like, I'm fucking with you. We're going to get high after this show. And Pepe would come to the studio and he'd be like. Like on a donkey? It feels like. Yeah. No. Pepe, is that yours?

He's like, same, no. No, dude. He had an old Corvette, like a red Corvette from like the 70s, doused in cologne. He always had women at the studio. He was a hot guy. He was just like a decent looking Mexican dude that wanted pussy all the time.

I respect that. That's a cool guy. That's a cool guy. Cool guy. And he would come by the studio and he'd go, churro time? And he would show this big ass joint, swag. Shit that he had brought over from,

like people he knew brought over from Mexico. So it smelled like cologne, cause it was like the way it was packaged, the way they like brought it in. But he was- He brought it in under his arms. Dude. Yeah.

Strip through his chest. It was dog shit weed. Oh man. You have to pick out all the seeds, but you get high and you're like. It's fucked up, man. I miss shit and I miss smoking a shit load of bad weed. Cause you know what?

Like we used to get it, I used to get quarter pounds and it would still be in slats. Yeah, that's what I mean. Remember? Cause they like pulled it off. You would give me weed and you'd be bricked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just like.

But I don't ever remember like the freak outs that I have now on weed. I think on swag I would just get like scared real quick and then giggly. I would get like a headache. Yeah. And then sometimes I would spiral. If I smoked swag before work,

I would be like walking to Conoco like, oh my God, I have to work every day for the rest of my life. But other than that, it was pretty great. But you didn't get the feeling of like weed now where you're like, am I losing my mind? No, I also don't feel like, and this sounds weird. I don't feel like back then, there was as much middle ground weed. No.

There was bad weed and you knew it was bad weed because it was in the slats. And then there was kind bud, which for some reason in Aurora was the best weed No. There was bad weed and you knew it was bad weed because it was in the slats. And then there was kind bud, which for some reason in Aurora was the best weed imaginable. It was unbelievable. Everybody smoked kind bud, which was, and that was a hundred different kinds of weed. I'm pretty sure. It never was the same kind of weed.

No, but it was kind bud. It was KB. It would always do. Kate is so funny. Man, I still love smoking kind bud. We'd go, yeah, do, we'd go smoke fucking, I had a bong called the Attitude Adjustment. Yeah.

And we'd just take fucking, my mom let me smoke weed in my garage. That's cause you're a good guy. Yeah. You're a cool guy. Well, my mom was like, I don't want you guys driving around. And we were all like juniors and seniors in high school. Right.

She's like, I don't want you not going to college cause they catch you smoking weed. She's like, so just get high in the garage. I used to get, do you know, there was a car wash down, do you know where Chubbies is? Yeah, I know where Chubbies is, right by the old Toys R Us off of Mississippi. No, I'm talking about the one on Smokies.

Yeah. The one, so there was a car wash right around the corner there that my friend worked at, and we would go smoke weed at that car wash and then try to sneak into Chubbies and drink underage a lot, a lot of nights. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, it was a, it's a good combo. Smokey Hill and Chambers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There used to be a fucking great deli right there. Brother, and if it didn't work, then we would walk. I never thought of Chubbies in fucking forever. It's bad news. So David and I found out that we grew up pretty much next to each other, very close to each other, but had no idea we were at Ramon Rivas' festival in Cleveland. In Cleveland, exactly.

They were like talking some shit about something and David was like, I'm from Colorado. I was like, I'm from Colorado. And he's like, where are you from? I'm like, I grew up in Aurora. He was like, dude, I'm from Elizabeth. And he's like, but I lived in Aurora for a little bit. Long time. Yeah.

And I was like, oh dude. And we grew up. The same area. I mean, I grew up on Chambers and Hamden. You were on like. Smokey Long time. Yeah. And I was like, Oh dude. And we grew up in the same area. I mean, D exactly. I grew up on Chambers and Hamden. You were on like Smokey and tower. Yeah. You were out by a seven Hills movie theater, right? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Like further down from seven Hills, but yeah, seven Hills and then, but we would go to the man Chinese. That was the big one. That was like new Grandview high school is new. Yeah. Yeah. That whole area. My class was the first class to graduate from Grandview high school. I could have been the first class of Grandview. I knew a lot of people that went there. Oh really?

I went to, because I went to, when I moved to Colorado, I went to Falcon Creek because it had just opened. Yeah. And then I went to Grandview, but I went to summer school at Horizon. Horizon Middle School? Yeah. Guess who did summer? No, I did summer school at Thunder Ridge. That's also good. Yeah. That's also good. I did a lot of summer school. Man, me too. Summer school was Thunder Ridge. That's also good. Yeah. That's also good. I did a lot of summer school. Man, me too. Summer school was the best. I almost failed seventh and eighth grade.

I was like a bad kid. Summer school had all the ESL kids that somehow disappeared by the time school started. I remember this, my dude, my stepdad, my old stepdad, Nick, built my mom this 1970 MGB. He like built it. And then he had a friend that did body work or whatever. So he like built the engine and shit. It was awesome. He like built it in our garage. Whoa. And I didn't like take anything from that. Did you, do you know about it? I stayed inside playing with action figures. I could have learned how to build

an engine. Yeah. Dude, my stepdad, Nick, was like, literally he fixed a truck, he built a dirt bike, and he built a 1970 MGB, and I learned nothing. You were just like recreating Summer Slam in the house? I was like, sorry, teenage mutant ninja turtles are going through some stuff. And so he built this MGB, and then my mom and him got divorced, and like my mom kept the car, but it was like a nice little this MGB and then my mom and him got divorced and like my mom kept the car,

but it was like a nice little red MGB. And my mom's dickhead boyfriend was picking me up at summer school. And I remember the hot girl in summer school was like, here comes my ride. And it was the only time in my life I felt cool. I actually go, actually no, it's my ride. And she was like, no, yeah.

I was like, bye Vanessa. I got it. Also, who was her ride? Like some 20 year don't know, 20 year old dude who still went to eco-crest. Yeah. He's like, what's up? He's at ACC. He's at Aurora community. He's like, what's up babe? Get in. Man, I remember pretending I was going to go to Aurora community or Arapahoe

community. Arapahoe was the one you were going to. Like when they, cause you had to like, I remember senior year, you had to pretend like you were going to go to college still. And everybody's like, I'm going to see you probably go to a rabbit you know what I mean work get some classes under my money get my grades up I'll see you guys and see you in two fucking years though Rams you know can't wait baby I wanted to get out so I moved Arizona I went to you of a so I did smart I. I went to U of A. So I did. Smart. I just knew.

Colorado after high school, that like 17 to 22, because I left when I was 22, that's a treacherous time. Well, if you're not going to college, that's a treacherous time. I was not. Yeah, you could get caught up in some stuff. I was not. A lot of gas stations I worked at, like, oh man.

Yeah. My good. I was always worried. The thing I love about Colorado is I could have seen myself living there my whole life. I live in Colorado right now. I didn't even realize you moved back. Yeah, don't tell anybody.

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With your hairless cat. Come on, man. Is that pussy everywhere? Cat pussy out all sweaty. Your family and friends will thank you. With your hairless cat. Come on man. Is that pussy everywhere? Cat pussy out all day. I got cat pussy falling out of my pocket. I got pussy on pussy in my house. Is it weird to touch a hairless cat? Does it feel like thigh skin? Yeah, it feels too much like you.

Yeah, you're like, oh, I'm gonna touch a hot body. Like if she's sleeping and she gets up, it's like retractable. Does she get goose skin ever? Like goose bumps? I haven't seen, we've only had her for like a month. She's a baby. Yeah, but like she gets cold.

She gets cold and she gets up like you got to like tuck her into shit. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she just likes to wants to bury in. But she's but yeah, you can't see your pussy and that's weird And also but here's my question just because I feel like most animals are cut cuddly cuz they're furry

Right and they got hair So when they don't have hair when you're cuddling it with it doesn't it just feel like you're like holding someone's arm It feels that's the gross part about it Like it feels like there's someone with you. Cause it'll be up on your neck and shit. You know what I mean? So it's like. Yeah, did you have to get used to that?

Yeah, I don't like it still. I like her. So I tolerate it, but it feels bad. Like putting it on there and be like, get off. But she's so funny. But then she'll wanna like, here's what, this is gross. She'll like, try to like nuzzle on you, but it feels like a woman engaged.

You're like, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. Stop, stop, stop. Chill, baby. Stop, stop. You're helping my shit. It's like, yeah, so I don't like her in the bed bed. The only way I'd get a hairless cat is if I would name it after someone who famously has alopecia,

like Charlie Villa in Oueva. Oh, that's like sweet, like give it a shout out. Yeah, I'd be like, hey, this is my cat Villa in Oueva. Oh, that's sweet, like give it a shout out. Yeah, be like, hey, this is my cat Villa and Aueva. I like that, but we named her Grandma. Your grandma's a good one, though. It just feels like, she feels old. Yeah. And she like, you have to wash her all the time.

Do you have to wash her all the time? Every week. Really? Once a week, yeah, yeah, yeah. Does she hate water, like other cats? She, oh man, I had to look up like wiki how how to wash this bitch. So I like Bro, but wiki how is like too it's like it was too nice So it was like it was like set the mood

So I fucking it was I felt like I was gonna fuck the cat like I put her in the other room Yeah, bro I prepared the water and I like I put it cuz you got to Like I put her in the other room. Candle it? Yeah, bro, I prepared the water and I like, I put it, cause you gotta put a towel down in the bottom of the sink because, so she doesn't like scratch away, you know what I mean? So she gets settled. She had all of her nails?

She, we clipped them down a little bit. Okay. But then like, and they were like put on relaxing music. So I put on PM Dawn, which is, but then you're like, I think I'm gonna fuck this cat. Am I about to really get some cat is... Yeah, dude. But then you're like, I think I'm gonna fuck this cat. Am I about to really get some cat pussy? Yeah, I think I'm about to get laid.

Yeah. Like I'm like making sure my girl isn't there. Yeah, you go, all right, I'll be right back. Yeah. And then you walk in the room and you go, meow. I lock the door. And also like, this is the weirdest part, was I knew she was gonna fight, so I took off my shirt.

That's so funny. But then I'm like worried. Skin to skin, that's how you do it. Yeah, but then I'm worried my girl's gonna come home so I took off my shirt. That's so funny. But then I'm like worried. Skin to skin, that's how you do it. Yeah, but then I'm worried my girl's gonna come home and I just like, it's just like a strange, it's like a strange. David, what are you doing?

And I'm like, I swear to God. No, no, shut up. I just had to wash her pussy. It is weird to wash her pussy. You have to wash her pussy. You have to wash the cat, but like I'm. I've never washed my dog. Really?

I mean, we take her to a groomer. It's because she's got hair though. That's what I mean. You gotta like, if I'm paying for other people to wash her... What happens if you don't wash your cat? I think that it gets like gross in the folds and shit. Because it's just like got folds, man. So this is actually like a high maintenance cat.

That the washing is, but everything else she's pretty like she's just like relaxes She goes and hangs out by the vent in the kitchen. Yeah, she's not like she doesn't do much But yeah, you gotta wash it. Do you have other cats? I have one other we have one other cat. I inherited all these animals I'm not like a weird cat man. No Loose man with cats cat man is that's a bad tricky place to be It's not a tricky place. It's a bad place to be. You're going through something. Nah man. If you're a dog guy that's fine. You're a regular guy. You're a guy. You're a knock around fella. Come on I like pussy. I got a dog. I got a bunch of dogs. You want to have some sex. I got a dog. I got pizza and beer! A fucking cat. You're like, what are you into?

Yeah, your cat guy, you're like, I'm playing Settlers of Catan. You go, do you want to look at my book collection? Yeah. Grandma gave me all her stamps. Yeah. You want to see my old stamps? How does your other cat like the hairless one? She doesn't like it at all.

Well, she's getting used to it. The first, because we have a dog too. It sounds like we're crazy. Nah. It's just like. You got three animals, that's normal. You live in Colorado, you got a backyard. Yeah, you have three dogs, or three animals.

The other cat didn't like it at first, so she would like hiss and she'd be fucking with it all the time. But then, I think probably after a week, she started tolerating it. Now it's been like three weeks time. But then like, I think probably after like a week, she started tolerating it. Now it's been like three weeks, so she's like, they can be in rooms together. That's gotta be wild though to be like a cat,

you get, you establish with the dog. Yeah. Like, all right, I see this dog, and then just a hairless, like, ah. It's like a new thing. Yeah, she's like, what the fuck? It's like, I feel like how the natives felt when the white man came here. Yeah.

Do you know that- But I guess the hairless is the native. No, no, no. In this book that I read about Red Cloud called The Heart of Everything That Is, or it might have been the one about the end of the Comanches, they talked about Native Americans don't have, they don't go bald. Like if you're pure Native American. This sounds like they have an extra muscle in their thigh. Yeah.

This is the thing that gets me canceled. Your sister's out here fucking lying about Native Americans. No, they don't have the gene for baldness. They don't have, so. Are they the only ones who don't? They, I don't know about that, but I do, and that's what this book said and they the first time they saw

baldness were white settlers and Because of like urine peon noses and shit They were calm birdmen because they said they look like vultures Long pointy nose and their hair was bald Wow, so they look like almost like a vulture I will say which wasn't that far off. And maybe this is crazy. White people look more like birds than any other people. Yeah we are the most bird like looking. For sure. I'm trying to think of. Avian brotherhood. Yeah dude. We're avian whites. We're Avian Saxon. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. Bird, I think whites are the most bird looking. They're birded. Yeah, dude. That's gotta be fucking wild to see someone to be like, what are you doing, bird man? I bet it sucks. And they had weird clothes on.

Oh yeah, like stuffy over their neck. Everything about that. And then they got this loud. I mean, but that's gotta be crazy when they show up with weapons. I bet it was the worst weapons that they're like, what the fuck? We're really cracking the code here what it would have been like.

Growing up. I was shocked for the natives. I tried, yeah, probably wasn't that cool for them. Yeah, but they had a bad time, man. Did you have to go, were you in elementary school in Colorado? No, I got there in junior high school. Okay.

But I took the CSAPs in junior high school. Is that what you asked? No, I was gonna in junior high school. Okay. But I took the CSAPs in junior high school. Is that what you're gonna ask? No, I was gonna say we took a field trip to a reservation in elementary school. Really? Which to me, I always try to talk to people about because I'm like, it's fucking wild. Because. What?

I mean, I went to elementary school in Washington state though, so there was a lot of. Yeah, there's. A lot of that stuff. Whoa, now that I think about it, they built, one of my, because I went to a bunch of schools, one of my elementary schools, they did build a... A teepee?

No, a teepee would be more normal. It was like the whole lodge, like it was big. Really? What is it, it started with a P, like a power. I can't. We'll look it up, we'll figure it out. Yeah, that's is it? It started with a P. Like a power. I don't know. We'll look it up. We'll figure it out. Yeah, that's good.

That's why you have producers. Yeah, that's why he's one of the best. We'll look it up. I think they built an elbow-o-bow. Yeah. When I was in like fourth or fifth grade, we like took a trip out to a reservation and they like showed us how they built a teepee. They showed us us their dances.

Did they show you fireworks? No, or cheap cigarettes. We didn't get either of those. But then at the end, the thing I always remember was we got on a bus, but there were Native American kids there that were like our age. Oh, that's what felt weird.

All right. All right. We're going to, I think we're going to the land your grandpa was on. So go nuggets. You're gonna get a bus and like leave it. Where was it? I don't even know where it was.

It was like a little far way out. You know, Aurora, I don't know where we drove out. It was, it was P.O. Powat. I don't know. We'll figure it out. There's someone yelling at this podcast right now. Yeah, they're so mad.

Yeah, that's, this is a. Listen, I don't know. I saw a funny tweet where someone said, the closest I'll ever feel to a ghost is listening to a podcast and know what they're talking about and they can't hear me. Cause they're just like screaming at a podcast. I bet that sucks.

I don't really listen to podcasts. I usually listen to the only, I listen to one podcast last podcast on the left. Oh, they're funny. Yeah, they're funny. I know. I like their stuff. It's like about serial killers and aliens. I, I listen. Sometimes I'll listen if like a friend of mine is like, I listen to Sam on here. Oh yeah. Like that. We were Colorado and off. Yeah. You guys were getting deep and I like shit like that'll do, Oh yeah. And shit like that. We were Coloradoing off. Yeah, you guys were getting deep. And shit like that I'll do, but yeah, I don't really.

Yeah, yeah, dude. It's funny, because when you're getting too much, I notice when I get too much into wrestling or Colorado, I have to catch myself. Colorado's so unrelatable. Yeah, it's just a very- But coming over, I was thinking of all these things I wanted to ask you about Colorado.

Yeah. But then I'm like, I don't think it's like... Who cares? Okay here's what a thing about Aurora that always used to piss me off that I always wondered about. You notice how everybody pretended like they weren't from there? Oh they'd always say like oh I'm from Denver. I'm not from here I'm from I was supposed to go to Hinkley. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or like, my family's from Cal. Like it's like a lot of first generation, fucked up people. Like we used to be fucked up

and then we got a house in Aurora. That's what Aurora is. That's like the definition of it. It's a starter house, it's a starter place. So- A lot of first generation gang members too is what I remember. Guys who were like, I'm a Crip,

but they didn't have any other Crip friends. No affiliation. They would just hang out regular, but then they were a Crip because they were a Crip in whatever place they moved from. When they were seven, by the way, you went to Meadow Point, we all remember. I think what we're finding out is

there's a lot of child liars in Aurora. Yeah, that's what it is. So many. Well, because Aurora wasn't, it was not as, and we had Andrew Callahan from Channel 5 who did a documentary about the immigrant thing. Right, right, right. He went to the apartment complexes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, which is, where is that? It's like, it's not South, because we're talking about South Aurora. Yeah, we're talking about South Aurora. This is, I think, up closer to like 6th Avenue. Okay, that's almost like another thing. I think I might be off about that. Like over by the hospital and all that.

Well, no, I think he was, we gotta look it up. It might be North Aurora. Yeah, that's like- I think he's in North Aurora. That feels different, but- What he was saying is like, you know, it's like a low, not low income, but it's middle class. It was like-

It's like lower middle class is what I was saying. But then South was nice. Yeah, but it's middle class. It was like lower middle classes. What I was saying. But then South was nice. Yeah. Like South was middle. It was like the line, right? Because there was like all those new houses that were so, so big.

Like Piney Creek and shit. Yeah, yeah. That's why I mean, I went to Smokey Hill. So that's why. Right. But then on the other side of Smokey Hill Road, those houses are little, like Mission Viejo and shit. That's where I grew up. Okay, yeah. so those houses,

that's right where I grew up. But that's not like the same as over there. They were like. Mission Viejo was nice. Colin Quinn nailed it. One of the first times I ever met Colin Quinn, I was on the phone, me and Bobby, I was opening for Bobby Kelly and we were driving somewhere

and Colin was on the phone and Bobby was like, say hi to my opener, Dan, or whatever. And he's like, hello, Dan. He's like, well, Dan, where you from? I's like, hello, Dan. He's like, Dan, where you from? I'm like, Aurora, Colorado and he goes, oh yeah, I was an affluent suburb in the 70s then decayed in the 80s and 90s and I was like, that's exactly it.

It's really it. Fucking Colin Quinn nailed it. That's exactly what. It is like all the houses. You wanna like smoke weed in a big house and then get in a fight in a parking lot. It's 100%. That's like exactly. exactly and my I grew up in Mission Viejo And it was clear those houses were all designed in the 70s. Yeah, but it was a pretty neighborhood

It was great mission is a pretty neighborhood. We had a green belt. We had a good school good park Yeah, shit would go down at the park the park man at Alicia Park some shit would it's still there It's nice or whatever, but there were like I knew a ton of fights that happened there. I have a couple fucking shootings happen there Yeah, that's what I was gonna say There were weird kids with guns dude because everybody has guns and so it wasn't like It's not like it's not like they were at-risk youth as much. There's so many guns, something's gonna happen. Here's the thing about, and I think a lot of people outside of Colorado can identify with this,

when you grow up in a middle-class suburb, there's an amount of boredom that leads to crime. It's not like inner city where crime is like, yeah. Or like, because they want to be tough. They want to be, I'm a crip. No, you're not Kids who came from other places Apparently so there were like so there was there were a few kids like tough kids on the perimeter Yeah, and I think they shepherded the stupid tough kids

That's exactly and then now you got now instead you got two real tough kids ten want to be tough kids who will stab you Who will do the thing to impress? Hell joke where he says, you see a group of bad guys, you see that white guy walking around, that's the most dangerous motherfucker in the group. And that's the kid who's from Aurora. Cause he's like, I'll fucking do anything, bro.

I don't give a shit. Dude, I used to watch them. I'm just, all I need is rims on my Acura. Oh my God, and I'm smoking a Newport with me and my pitbull. Come on. And we're walking down the street in my Jankos. My buddy from Aurora has a tattoo on his back of a pit bull with red smoke coming out of it.

That is kind of sick though. Yeah man, it's fucking awesome. I don't know what it is about me that I'm like, it's fucking awesome. It's cause you're Aurora trash. I'm like, dude, that guy definitely, I got my, I have two bad tattoos. I got this one covered up by my friend Keith,

so it's not bad tattoos. I got this one covered up by my friend Keith, so it's not bad anymore. But I got my tattoos in Aurora by the old, on a I-LIFE in Chambers. There was a place called the Tattoo Shop. Yeah, I know, right where you're at, where you're at. By like Nick's Flowery or whatever. Yeah, yeah. There was like a place called the Tattoo Shop,

and I was 16 and I got, that's where I got my first tattoo. So many underage. My friend, so my friend Jarell, his dad did tattoos and a bunch of my friends got underage tattoos in Jarell's garage. That's awesome. I got caught, I got caught, I bought,

this is like 1999. So I got a fake ID, my friend was like telling me about fake IDs online. First off, my friend Joel got like a a fake ID. My friend was like telling me about fake IDs online. First off, my friend Joel got like a real fake ID. He got his brother's birth certificate and went to the DMV and got an ID card. What a smart guy. And so it was his picture.

Yeah. And he bought a cigarettes and porn. So we go to Newsland on Isle of the Chambers. Yes, there's no more of that ever. Newsland, what a weird fucking store. I love it. Because they had porno in there. A lot of porn.

And then a bunch of magazines. Books. And a bunch of people pretending like they went in there for stuff other than porno. They would sell magazines. It was like a magazine. It was a magazine store. But they had a huge section of VHS porn. And so what I would do is Joel would, we would go to newsland, right?

And then I would go and I'd wait till the guy wasn't looking. And then I would go into the porn section and then like find the porn and then like find the mile marker, you know, to be like, all right, third row in. Splat on my rack too. Okay. Like I put it on the front. I would like, I would like tip it over. Oh, it's like, and then I would go out and I Joel would be there

and I'd be like, go in there to the left. It's tipped over. And then he would buy it. That's like a beautiful secret code though. Yeah, you guys are like Jews finding each other. And he would buy porn for us. And then we would like the funniest, I've said this before, the funniest part was like, he would buy us porn and then he'd like drive us home and be like, so what do you guys want to do? And you'd be like, I'm just gonna go home. Yeah. What do you think I'm going to do? You just probably porn dude. I'm going to punish myself. Yeah. I'm going to rip the skin off my car. Yeah.

But we. I'm about to go a hammer. Yeah, my mom doesn't get home from Etna till like seven. I'm fucking gonna punish my penis. So I fucking, I found out if I went online, in 1999 there was this website that sold prank IDs. So you had to, if you sent them a passport photo, 1999 there was this website that sold prank IDs. So if you sent them a passport photo,

you could get a gag ID. So my fake ID, I used my mom's maiden name, which is, you know, which is, and I was like, oh, so I had, that was my fake ID. And then I went to go to the tattoo shop on Isle of Fin Chambers. And the guy's like, what do you want on your back? It was for my dad and my sister after they died.

I was like, I wanna do a cross. It's a bad tattoo with a banner with their name on it. And they go, what name? And I go Soder. And the guy goes, I want my last name Soder. And he goes, what? Cause he like saw my ID and I was like, I mean, I, and that's, he like, he didn't care.

He was like, you whatever dude. I mean, you were also clearly a boy. Dude, I was clearly, I looked, I looked, I was 16. I looked 14. Yeah, this man is not in the business. You brought him a piece of paper. I gave him cash too. He's an artist.

You wanted it, you wanted ink, he got you ink. Dude, I got a tattoo, then got ice cream next door at the Dairy Queen. I literally got I got a child's treat Man chat, but that's pretty cool that you had a tattoo underage. Those are always the coolest kids Oh, yeah, I mean it was a bad tattoo, but I did think I was pretty fucking cool. It is cool I was like when did. It is cool. I was like, what's up? When did you show it off? How long till you got to show it off?

I think I would do it when I was- Cause back, so you had to go to the pool or something. Piney Creek pool. There we go. And I go in and I'm like- Man, swimming in pussy that day. No, never. But I have puffy nipples,

so I'd have to tickle my sides to make them small, so I looked more real. Wait, no, I'm not familiar with what you're talking about. Guys picture frames are in a whole new universe now. Used to be just put one picture in and then you're like and that's the frame but now you got stuff like Aura digital picture frames. Name the number one digital photo frame by wire cut. Aura frames are incredibly smart and easy to use allowing you to upload unlimited photos and videos directly from your phone to the frame. Plus, you can order the frame online and preload it with photos and videos using the ARRA app.

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But you have to, you could tickle it. Yeah. I go, so I would be like at Piny, I'd be at Piny. Yo, this is the best. Yeah. I'd be at Piny Creek pool, right? And then you're like, Just like tickling your. Dude, my boy, my best friend, Garripe, would be like in the pool, he'd be like, so Pool, right? And then you'd be like, dude, my best friend, Garripe,

would be like in the pool, he'd be like, so I was tickling his nipples, and I'd be like, shut up. Because then I'd bust it out and have the tattoo on my back and I'd be like, sorry, I'm a fucking man. Cool. Tickle the nips, tickle the nips, and then get the fucking tat out. That's pretty cool.

But I could buy alcohol with that fake ID. That's also exciting. That got huge in high school. That was like, that was. Buying alcohol in high school is like the best. A lot of people became my friends that didn't like me. Yeah, why wasn't it? Because they wanted booze.

Yeah, I get that though. Were you buying like 40 out? What were you drinking? Oh, I was buying beer, bottles of liquor, a lot of Goldschlager. People love Goldschlager. Man, I drank Goldschlager. I, man, I passed out on Goldschlager.

Aftershock? Aftershock was what I was gonna say say because it, it's, it's four kids. It's blue. I did a picture of an after shock under this right now. That weird glassy bottle that looks like, you know, it's going to be sweet. And then, um, a couple of my friends loved puckers Ah puckers was huge. Yeah, buckers was one of those ones. I would pretend like oh, there's only what am I? Oh, look, I'm drinking puckers like a little and then just get shit

Absolutely blacked out I remember being in a park in Aurora and just drinking Parrot Bay and root beer. Thinking I was so grown up. Coconut rum? Oh my God, Parrot Bay. I haven't thought about Parrot Bay since fucking high school. It's for kids.

So I would buy the booze. Like people would be like, Oh, soda is the best. He's got a tattoo. Nah, dude, I was a lot. Huge nipples, but he buys booze buys puffy nipples unless he tickles inside and then looks pretty jacked. I would buy. So I would always buy booze at Quincy and Chambers. There was like a

diamond shamrock gas station. And then there was a liquor store right there, like on that mini mall. That's where I used to get my haircut and I'd buy booze so I bought booze from this guy from literally sophomore year till my fucking freshman year of college like through my sophomore year of college so I wasn't 21 same guy dude I turned 21 and my mom lives down off Parker Road. That's where she like retires. Like she lives like in a townhouse off Parker Road. I don't want to give an exact location.

I know, but there's a lot of, there's a lot of townhouses off. A lot of townhouses off Parker Road. I fell out of an apartment on Parker Road, probably near your mom's townhouse. Where on Parker Road? Like, Like past Emerald Isle? Emerald Isle, past Emerald Isle.

RIP closed. No way. Emerald Isle. When? Like my mom tech. That was my first job. I was a busboy at Emerald Isle. Okay.

So it was like right down. So Emerald Isle is here. You know, you go further down and there's a Conoco. Yeah. And there's the apartment complex across the street from there. Yes. Like, and there's like that open space where people go and they take their dogs and shit like that. Yeah, the dog, that's the dog park. Yeah. I was in that apartment complex when I was 18, probably drinking in an apartment where there was no furniture except for folding chairs, a keg in the tub, and matting.

This sounds like the best hang of all time. It was a good day and we were smoking weed and we were hanging out and we go outside, we go out to the porch to smoke a cigarette because we don't smoke cigarettes inside. That's gross, you smoke weed. That's disgusting. Yeah, you smoke blunts.

You smoke Swisher Sweet blunts inside. So we go out and we're smoking a cigarette and this kid comes out and he's like cops inside no joke I was like, yeah, right and I look inside and I see this the black pants with the stripes And it's me my friend and this kid that we don't really know that well and the kid we don't know that well doesn't even say anything He just climbs over the balcony hangs down drops to the second floor hangs down, drops to the second floor, hangs down that and is boom! Never seen that dude again in my life! Did you know that more than 50% of food waste in Toronto homes is avoidable? By cutting down on food waste, you can help protect the environment and save money.

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I'm high as shit. The cops are, I'm gonna, my mom's gonna kill me. Yeah, you're gonna get a consumption ticket. I'm gonna die, right? So my friend does it and he's now he's down. He's down waiting for me in the bushes. And I'm like, all right, all right. This is lock it in, lock it the fucking door.

Were you like hyping yourself? I was so scared. Did you feel like they were gonna come through the door? I thought they were gonna come and they were gonna kill me. Yeah. And not, I just was like, because like, when I was in Aurora, it's just really easy to get gassed up like you're actually doing something bad.

Yeah, you're not. So I was like, I'm a criminal. I'm a criminal, I'm in a drug den. Yeah. I'm basically a fugitive. They want me. They're trying to take me to prison. I gotta go.

So we're on the third story, right? So I'm hanging, I get, I climb over the thing, and now I'm like, my arms are dangling, right? And I'm just like, I'm like, I'm gonna swing my legs in and drop in, cause that's how I saw the other guys do it, right? I swing my legs in and drop in because that's how I saw the other guys do it Right. Yeah, I swing my legs in I drop Kick my big fat ass gets caught on the rail and I fall down like this like head first down Yeah, but I landed off like kind of on my shoulder back sort of situation. I lost the wind

And I rolled behind, you know, they have the big, the big AC cooling. I rolled behind that until the heat was gone. And then I got up and walked over and my friend came around the corner. He had waited for me. Good guy. Good guy. Aurora guy. Good guy.

He waited for me. And then this is, this is how dumb kids are. He came and got me and we went into his car and then for some reason we were like We were like the heat we got to get off the street like the heats on we got to get off the street So we went to the man Chinese shout out and like went into Pirates of the Caribbean And just sat there and like off Cooled off? Cooled off. You're like, I think the streets are alright. Till the heat was, yeah.

We can get the fuck outta here. It's cool now. Yeah, we could go to fucking old Chicago and hide in the booth. I can get out back, yeah. Maybe that Applebee's. That same man Chinese, Sam Talent shit his pants in that parking lot one time when we were kids too.

He's gonna hate that I told this story. I like a random Sam Talent shititting his pants in the Man Chinese. Man Chinese attracted people from all over because it was on Parker and Rapp- it is still on Parker and Rapp- It was like- it was kind of new at the time right? There was a new Coles. That was my Coles. That's a good Coles. My old Coles was the one by by Seven Hills. Trash Coles. Stop. Trash Coles. My buddy Joey lived right by there. I love that Coles was the one by Seven Hills. Trash Coles. Stop. Trash Coles. My buddy Joey lived right by there.

I love that Coles. Parker Road. We love you. Come on man, you know it was a Superior Coles. That Coles had it all. Nah, I love the one on fucking Hamden, dude. You're a snob then. Nah, I love that.

Nah, I stick up for my neighborhood. I get it, but you're getting out way of intervention. That was the new Coles. It was the new Coles. It was the hot Coles. It was the hot Coles. You could go to the Schlatzkis. They got a hallmark store. It's all happening in there. Big King Supers. Come on. Huge King Supers. Get a three liter of pineapple soda.

My friend Diana worked there. Come on. Everybody worked there. Diana worked at King Supers. That was a cool area. Yeah, that was brand new. Everything was brand new. A lot of fights in that parking lot. That Applebee's opened up. It's gone now. That Applebee's, but my crush in high school worked at that Applebee's as a hostess.

Really? Dude, driving by there, my heart still, don't tell Katie, my heart still flutters. When I go by that, I go, phew. Isn't there a Chevy's there now? Stephanie Holmes used to work there. Damn, Stephanie Holmes. She was a year older. What's she up to?

I don't think she's a military wife. Okay, did she ever see your tattoo? No, she wanted zero to do with me. No? Do you remember Hollywood Legends? Is that a club? Yeah. Is that the 18 and up club?

Yes, that's exactly what it is. Ha! That's exactly what it is. Ha! First of all, what an ambitious name for a teen club. In the middle of Denver. What kind of a goddamn, I'm going to say a pedophile, opens a teen club called Hollywood? It was a regular club, but they had teen night. I see, because I remember more Rock Island.

Rock Island had the fucking, I remember Rock Rock Island rock island had the fucking Also club bad Hollywood legends was the big when we had like a Monday off for like a holiday Sundays would be teen night. So if you were 16 to 20, right you could get into Hollywood legends, which basically which means It's teenagers and adults who are those 20 year olds? Gross motherfuckers. Who are those guys at the top end at Hollywood Legends? But dude, I went, we would go to Hollywood Legends and it was like trying to get into a real club. Right. Dude, this is, I fucking, I've never been,

I've never been in a point in a conversation on my podcast where I can tell this story with someone that knows the background. But one time we were trying to go to, we were trying to go to Hollywood Legends, right? And it was me, my friend Adam, Mike McDaniel, shout out, go Dolphins, and our friend Paul, right? And Adam had a license. I was 15. Adam had his license. Hollywood Legends, you could get in if you showed them your school ID,

because they thought anybody that was a sophomore was 16. So it was good because if you had the permit, it was vertical, remember? So if you fucking gave them your school ID, they'd be like, all right, you're 16. You can get in here. So we're all trying to get in. Great system. Great system.

Great system. Great system. So everybody gets in. Mike and Adam were like, they knew people there. Paul and I were like the second year. Yeah, they were cool. And then they're like, they got in because their friend Casey got them in. But me and Paul were like, they're like, dude, you can't get in. And the guy's like, we're not letting anyone else in. And we're like, fuck, what do we do? And Adam's like, you know, chill in my car, just chill in my car and hang out. And then we'll come out. I was like smoking cigarettes back then. So I was like, fuck, what do we do? And Adam's like, yo, chill in my car. Just chill in my car and hang out.

And then we'll come out. I was like smoking cigarettes back then. So I was like, so dude, we're just chilling in this. It's like a giant Dodge, like a real big fucking, almost like a Bronco, like an old school Bronco. I forget what kind of car it was. But we're chilling there. And I was like, yo, fuck this, man.

They're gonna go to the club. You wanna go see a movie? And he was like, yeah. I didn't know of any other movie theaters except Chinese Man and Seven Hills. And we're in Denver. Yeah, you're way in Denver. Never drove before.

I drive Adam's mom's car from Hollywood Legends to Chinese Man. And we watched a movie and drove back to Denver and picked up Adam and Mike and Paul was like dude I'm just gonna freak out when you find out you drove his mom's car I was like fuck that they shouldn't have left us in the park yeah yeah man I drove on 225 I drove on 25 and 225 also they were just gonna let you leave you in there what That's what I mean. What am I a dog with the windows? Yeah, fuck that. Fuck that. Go get some schloss keys. See American pie too.

And then we'll be back to the club. Then we'll be back to the club cause we're still boys. We still going to pick you up. So do we drove all the way back? But that's a long fucking drive. That's it. That's it. It's all federal. It doesn't make any sense. No, doesn't make any sense. But my high school crush, one time we got in for a team night and Stephanie Holmes was there.

And I was like, I'm gonna dance with her. And someone was like, What was the, what were the hits she was dancing to? I'm gonna tell you exactly, I know exactly what it was. I know you know exactly what it was. It was that Aaliyah song with Timberland. Ah! Oh, are you that somebody?

Yeah, I'm not just anybody. Baby girl. Yeah. I'm the man with the big beard. Yeah, that's a good song to sing. She was like hot and dancing and stuff. And you were just rocked. I was just concrete.

You could have ran through a brick wall. And this is the thing, the most embarrassing thing is, she was like dancing with men. Like, there's like men, and she's like a hot Latino girl. She's like, good dancer. She was, I think, on the dance team or something. She was like dancing, and then I went up behind her and I was like, can I dance with you?

And she was like, yeah. And then later, and then the next week at school, she told my friend? And she was like, yeah. And then later, and then the next week at school, she told my friend Anne, she was like, yeah, your friend Dan asked to dance with me at a club. And I was like, fuck. Fuck. That's, that, I mean, boy, you didn't know, man. I didn't know, dude.

In Rock Island, it comes for a song. I mean, dude, I wasn't a Hollywood legend that I hope everybody who read teen clubs went to jail Right we gotta get them the fuck out of here, let's start doing some digging Yeah, those motherfuckers were literally giving child brides. Dog, I'm not one of those guys, but lock them up. One of my friends, one of my other friends that would go to the club with us, right?

Right. That we'd like meet them there. There was a 19 year old girl there that was like famous. Her name was Jiggles. Get up for a call. Whatever she had to do to earn that name by the age of 19 is dark as shit. God damn it. It was dark as shit. And it was back in the day so it wasn't even social media famous. She was jiggles on the street.

Like that was, you know what I'm saying? Like she had to put in work and people around town knew Jiggles. Jiggles, dude. If any of my friends are watching this right now, I hope they're punching their desk laughing because they're like, 100% that was real. And if Jiggles is watching, reach out, let us know you're okay.

Please be okay. Please, I would- I bet you Jiggles is cleaning up on OnlyFans. I would tell you right now, I would put money down that she's dead. I would put money down. I would jiggles is cleaning up on only fans. I would tell you right now. I would put money down that she's dead It's 25 years ago, I'm putting money down that jiggles no longer walks this God but not forgotten the jiggle stopped. You need to get some kind of some kind of jiggles Get like a tassel up here, but you know what's funny is she was like.

Jiggles is crazy. She was clearly like, I wouldn't be surprised if she worked at Shotgun Willie's or Centerfolds. Like. Man, Centerfolds. Fully nude. Fuck, you are from Colorado. Centerfolds.

Fully nude. Fully nude juice bar, technically. You couldn't buy alcohol. Yeah. Cause they showed pussy. Yeah, they showed pussy. So you had to buy like a Coors cutter. Dog, I got kicked out of centerfolds for drinking in the bathroom when I was like 19.

And all my friends, I got kicked out of centerfolds because I snuck it into my pants and they came in the bathroom and I'm like, oh, just like Kentucky deluxe or some dumb shit. I love it, dude. And they brought, they were like, you can't, you gotta go. Yeah. And my friends are, you know, 19, like think they can have sex with strippers.

So they're not coming to give me- You're gonna ruin my chance. Dog, I puked all, I puked all over the ground down front of the center floor. That's awesome. And the bouncer didn't give a fuck. And I just had to sit there until my friends were done. My friends dad.

And because we went, because a girl from our high school was stripping there. My friend's dad did the accounting for Centerfolds. Wow. And he used to get us kind of hooked up when we'd go in there. I was at Centerfolds one time when the lights went out. And it wasn't even a snowstorm.

Something happened. The lights went out, and they brought out all these candles. That's kind of sexy. And people started singing, and they played Twister until the lights went out and they brought out all these candles that's kind of sexy and people started singing and they played twister until the lights came on that's a fun little old snowed in yeah guys we got we're gonna make the night ourselves yeah it was I was yeah I was in centerfolds a lot yeah but jiggles was like a Hollywood legend. She was the Hollywood legend. Jiggles was the Hollywood legend. Jiggles was the Hollywood legend. Oh, no. What did she, how did?

I don't know, but a guy I knew, a guy I knew hooked up with her. And we were all like, we sat around him asking the tail. Because she was like, Andre, fuck Jiggles. I was like, dude, what? You got the, that was like the highest rung on the mountain. Yeah, I mean, you know, he probably had like a Mitsubishi eclipse or something cool, right? Dude, everyone had an eclipse.

That was the coolest card he could get. I had a fucking Dodge Stratus. Hey man, we're all just trying. Not everybody could be a Hollywood legend. Dude, no, it's not gonna be a Hollywood legend. That's so fucking funny, dude. We can't all be a Hollywood legend. Yeah.

Oh, fuck. Holy shit. I'm so glad to fucking tell. I'm glad to hear that. What a weird, that's a bad time in life. That was a weird time. Frequenting the teen club or centerfolds. Because centerfolds to me was so weird because it's a juice bar. So it's just like, it's us and sad men.

Yes. Like horny dudes. Yeah. Like uncontroll's horny dudes. Yeah. Like uncontrollably horny guys. Where they're like, I have to go. Like Shotgun Willie's is a strip club. Yeah, Shotgun Willie's is a strip club. That's where Ja Maret, that's where Ja Maret,

where that happened. With the gun? Yeah, that was at Shotgun. Dog, I, I mean, I guess I can- Really? I know a girl who was there. Like my friend's girl, she and she said they were like, she's I guess she was like, those guys are lame.

They just had their shirts off and they were like, she's in there like video taping each other. That's so gay. We found out one of my when I played high school football, one of our football coaches, wife's or wife danced at shock and willies. That's the coolest shit in the world. And when I was a sophomore, he was like a young coach.

Yeah. His like his wife danced to shotgun willies. And one of the seniors, this guy, Tony, like had a fake ID and went to shotgun willies and then like got into it with the coach. And he's like, she had a tattoo on her. And he was like, yeah, tell Tigger. I said, like a Tigger tattoo from one of the pooh. And like, yeah, tell Tigger. I said, like a Tigger tattoo from Winnie the Pooh. And he was like, tell Tigger. I said, what's up?

And the coach was like, what the fuck? That was wild. But also, that's the coolest guy I've ever heard of in my fucking life. He's badass. Are you kidding me? Don't that do a football coach? Dude, that motherfucker was tough.

That kid's nasty. I don't know if I would say his full name, but he was. I hope he's, he's do. He's not. I think his name was Tony Cicero. I bet he, I bet he married jiggles. I bet you. I don't know man, but he had, he had calves. He was like, I got, he was a man. Let me tell you right now for football players in the late nineties, he looked, when I was a sophomore, he was a senior. He looked the coolest. He had the neck roll under the jersey. And he had the Derek Thomas face mask where it was like that little barb,

but it was like small on the jaw. How did he wear the neck roll? Was it like Mike Allstott where it was covered? Yes, he had exactly Mike Allstott's look. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a good. He had big ass calves. That was a good, that was cool. And he would talk shit to the coaches where I was like,

this guy's the fucking man. That coach thinks that kid fucked his wife. Dude, can you imagine that? Like you're just trying to give back to your community some kids like I fucked your wife and you're like I bet he went home and went ape shit. Oh my god I didn't fucking marry some centerfold slut. I married a top of standard. You're quitting tomorrow. It's not worth the hot tub. I don't even give a shit about it.

I don't care if we're looking for a fucking townhouse closer to Park Meadows. I don't give a shit. We're not moving. I don't give a fuck about moving there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that's why. that's a cool guy though. That's why it was funny with all that stuff

about the gangs taking over and stuff. Yeah. When I knew it was media propaganda, was when they would describe Aurora as a sleepy little Colorado town. Yeah, it's not. I know, it's not, listen, North Aurora is fucking tough, but South Aurora, it was suburbs. It was just like. Yeah, it's not. It's not, listen, North Aurora is fucking tough, but South Aurora is, it was suburbs.

It was just like. Yeah, it's like. But it was like. But it's also. It was like suburbs that no one was like jealous of you're from there. Yeah, it's also. Oh, you're from Aurora?

You're like, yeah, it's all right. But it's also for Colorado, it's also more of a melting pot than anywhere else in Colorado, right? Like every, all foreigners from, they come to Aurora. So it's like. It's affordable. Aurora. So it's like, yeah. So it's like a fairly diverse mix of people. Good school system.

Yeah. Cherry Creek, the best schools in the country at the time. Cherry Creek schools. Some of the best schools in the country at the time. With the international baccalaureate program at our school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people conflate it. Columbine is not there. It's Littleton.

That is Littleton. That's not Aurora. But yeah, it was a great place. It was a great place to be from. It's like fun. Yeah, that's not Aurora. But uh. Yeah it was a great place, it was a great place to be from. It's like fun. Yeah it's fun. I genuinely feel bad for kids that don't get to grow up in that kind of suburban environment because you get to do dumb shit like that and it doesn't.

It's not like the hood where you're gonna fucking go to prison or join a gang and have like real fucking danger. Some of those kids did go to prison. I knew a guy, Rory, shout out Rory. I hope you're out, Grant Tathado. I knew a couple people that went to prison. Yeah, a few guys. A few guys went to prison.

One from stomping a guy out at Alisha Park. You see? Yeah, fuck. Now that I'm saying it, a couple like. So here's the thing about it, is like if you really think about it, it's like what it is, it's like we said it's lower middle class.

So it's a lot of people who came from kind of tough environments and then they got their first house. But they were also straight-up rich people. Because Cross Smokey Hill, there were like very, there was a gated community. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And further up the hill, like I don't know when you, what is now the Southlands area. Yeah, that's all those houses are huge. Yeah, and that's where they built new high schools because Grandview is like old there now. Yeah, Grandview's old.

Grandview was the first high school to be built out there with all those big ass houses. Right, and that's, and because Falcon Creek too, when I went to Falcon Creek, everybody's like, this is a brand new school. Because Grandview was like the biggest school I, I went there for a year, or half a year. It's the biggest school I'd ever seen in my life.

When they opened, they got all the hot girls from all the other schools. Everyone was like, all the hot girls are going to Grandview. And you're like, dang it. I mean, there was so many, I mean, like, that school was so big. I remember passing periods were 10 minutes. And if you had, if you had P.E.

and you had to get to like the other end of the math building, you still might not make it. And if you said like, I got P.E. the teacher would be like, all right, you're fucking, Detroit airport. We were like, don't get a layover there airport. Yeah. Like don't get a lay over there. Yeah, exactly. Don't get a layover. It is like that airport because they also had Chick-fil-A. Yeah. Oh my god.

We had Chick-fil-A at Laredo Middle School. That's that's cool. You could buy a fucking Chick-fil-A sandwich when I was in middle school. Man, Laredo was one of the good middle school. Yeah, I was lucky to go to Laredo. They were top tier and they were bottom. We knew like if we're at Seven Hills and there was kids from Horizon, we knew they'd probably fuck us up. Yeah, Horizon was like...

But it was... That's the most fun school I've ever went to was summer school at Horizon. It was amazing. And there was a bus. One of my best friend's dads was the principal there. Really? Yeah. And I used to have soccer practice at Horizon.

The one year I played soccer was that we'd go to Horizon Real School all the time. It was great. Yeah. Really? Yeah. And I used to have soccer practice at Horizon the one year I played soccer was that we'd go to Horizon Real School. It was great. Yeah. Isons a good time. Shout out Colorado to David Borey, Birth of a Nation. The specials out now on YouTube. You put it on no, it's not on YouTube. It's on Patreon. Go to Patreon. Buy it. It is fucking worth it. He's he's Colorado mafia, you know, grew up with saying talent is his fucking, when you were like, dude, I'm gonna be in town.

I'm glad that you stayed next to me. I am too, this was awesome. I'm really- I'm getting over a cold and I was like ramped up. I told, me and Mike were talking and I was like, I'm gonna cancel everything, but I ain't canceling Bory. Hell yeah. I was like, Bory's coming over.

I'm really glad that I got to sit and talk with a Hollywood legend, man. Yeah, I wasn't though. I wasn't a Hollywood legend. I knew a Hollywood legend. Alright, sorry. Shout out to Jiggles. Yeah, Jiggles, please be alive. She could be alive.

She might.