Soder - 67: Denver Dumb Friend’s League with Katie Nolan | Soder Podcast | EP 65

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

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Alabama, I've never done shows in Alabama. Guess what, that's about to change. February 20th through the 22nd I will be in Huntsville, Alabama at Levity Live for 5 shows. Grand Rapids, Michigan, I will see you March 8th. I'll be headlining a show for Gildas Fest. One show, come on out, California. It's such a, I don't have a singing voice. I have a voice for stand up.

And thank God that's what I'm doing in California February 28th, I will be at the Balboa theater in San Diego March 1st, I will be at the United theater in Los Angeles and then march 2nd. That's a sunday I will be at the palace of fine arts in san francisco. All those tickets are available danceholder.com Go get them right now. When we got robbed in Tucson, and Amir moved out, he just left the furniture. Pimp, you want me to stop moving?

That's probably what he's trying to do, and I'm moving too much. No, you're fine. That's probably what he's trying to do. And I'm moving too much. You're fine. Um, he left the furniture and then called me and was like, you got to pay me for that furniture. No, that is, that's so bold.

What I would give to live a day with that type of, I would, I had, or I didn't stay up at night wondering and worrying if I just was like, and now I'm going to call him and tell him to pay me for it. And he's blown away that I don't answer any of his messages on Instagram or like texts. You're like, yeah, you're a horrible friend. He just left stuff. Cause you answer everyone's messages and texts. So he doesn't even know what a big deal this is.

It's not a big, and then my other friend from college is like, do you ever talk to him? Like, no no I have zero interest in talking to him the guy left Fake leather furniture when I had no money and was like yeah, you're gonna give me like a sneaky kind Yes It's the point that it was in front of an air conditioner and just crud the arm crusted over because it was And then he's like yeah, you want to give me like $400 for that 400 dot love seat or was it like a sectional? It was a love seat and a three,

like a regular couch and a love seat. Wow, that was exactly right by the way. Both fake leather and oh, and the Panther coffee table which did rule. Panther rumble. We went to a high school football game. That was one of the cheers. We're obsessed with it.

We did a Christmas episode on the drive back and then agreed. It wasn't hitting. I was driving. I've never done a podcast while driving. The last time we did it when we got trapped in Nebraska, I was passenger princess, as I should always be. By the way, she's a wonderful passenger princess.

It's so funny whenever I'm with you, I know this is a common thing on the internet, so I'm not reinventing the wheel here, but I really am like, no idea where I am, I just follow him. We'll be walking through New York, we'll be taking a subway, and I'm like a lady who's never taken the subway before,

though I take it by myself all the time. With you, I'm like, he's got it, I don't have to turn the brain off. So the last time we did the podcast, I was able to really like, you know, look at a document I had on my phone and help keep us on topic, you know? And then I was passenger princess this time on the way back.

And I was just like, and I was getting nervous about her driving. Which is crazy, cause I'm a good driver. You are, but we were going through construction zones and I was just kinda like. Sexism. Misogyny. Look it right in its face, folks.

She's clearly not the best driver if I'm locking up like that. Did you see the Ohio State, the lady that had to drive the golf cart with Ryan Day and like a couple of the players and she like smashed it into a wall? It's very funny. No way. Just bringing it up while we were getting misogyny out of the way. Lady driver. Not all. You're making me scared.

So stupid driver. You drive like a maniac. That's how we were in a fight. So we weren't like addressing that the car was in a little bit of tension. And all of a sudden we got off of the highway we were supposed to be on. And we were on a road that didn't have highway speed limits, but Dan was mad. Didn't want to talk about it. And I couldn't correct him because we were already to be on and we were on a road that didn't have highway speed limits, but Dan was mad, didn't want to talk about it. And I couldn't correct him cause we were already in a tense situation.

And so he was just going highway speed limit on like a one lane, like road in the dark with no lights. And he was like, it's crazy how this road is handling. And I was like, it might be because you're going 30 miles per hour over the speed limit. And that's man driving. Prove your point. The point was she will crumble and apologize if you drive fast and furious. No, that was a, by the way, the ending of that story, I'm not an asshole. The ending of the story is I was like, I'm, I'm pretty mad.

This is pretty dangerous. And you were like, yeah, we're here. So they know we got out of it. Yeah. But sometimes people think you're just a psycho. You just cut the story. And then he was driving fast through a construction zone. And I was screaming for help and nobody helped. But like I didn't have the realization where I went, I'm pretty upset right now. I should probably slow down because we're not on the highway.

But that was also a moment where I'm a big proponent of driving late at night to avoid traffic. But that was a situation where we were coming back from Boston and we didn't realize when you're driving home late at night to avoid traffic. But that was a situation where we were coming back from Boston and we didn't realize when you're driving home late at night, sometimes they close the expressway. They're like, no one needs this. We'll close all these exits and then this whole swath of the highway. What would you estimate? How many times have you driven from Boston to New York?

I couldn't. Cause you went to college at Hofstra. How many times over, over a hundred over and you never took the route we took? Never, I was like, I don't even know what road we're on. I've never seen this. It was like an enemy crawled into my GPS and was like, go this way. It was wild. And then we got into a fight.

We got into like two little arguments about it. It was quite a scene. So this road trip. What I love about you, if I may, is we always like figure, like we don't leave that car. We're not like, we didn't go the rest of that car ride fighting, we got it out eventually, something silly happened and we were like.

You make a joke, one of us makes a joke about how unrational we are. And then the other one. I think it's irrational, I'm sorry. I just wanted to help you out. She does this. And so when the. So nice haircut, by the way, looks good.

Good hair, don't fall for this. Just trying to get out of this moment. Irrational. So the Christmas episode. I make up words, Broughton has been a big one over the years. Oh my God, it't fall for this. Just trying to get out of this moment. So the Christmas episode. I make up words. Broughton has been a big one over the years. Oh my God, it kills me every time. Broughton is.

And I'm trying not to correct him because I'm like what an annoying. Cause then that would make her a cold, mean bitch. What an annoying thing, but also you speak for a living and I don't want you to say it on stage and then go, why'd you never tell me that it's not unrational, it's irrational, babe.

And I'd be like, you're right, babe. We don't even call each other babe. I know. So that would be weird. I'd be like, why are you saying that? The point was we did this on Christmas. It didn't work. We were just like halfway through

and I was like, this isn't feeling right. We have the audio, you can listen. There's some fucking dimes in there. There are. But there is moments of me. Sometimes you gotta let the dimes go, unfortunately. It's the hard part about the biz where you go like, yeah, it's probably the best that'll ever happen, but. One that I will fight for, because it's a story

I do want to retell. Let's hear it. Was at one point in the, on the driving podcast, we were talking about time zones, and I said. Wait, wait. Go ahead, sorry. I was gonna say you should start at the beginning of what happened. Well, said, wait, wait, go ahead. Sorry. I wasn't saying you should start at the beginning of what happened. Well, I'll tell the story, but I'll just say beginning the mistake I made on the podcast that I will force to make again in order to see how stupid and funny it was. But we were talking about time zones and I confidently went,

well, Trump's going to get rid of those when he gets in the, in the oval office, because what I meant was daylight savings time. And Katie was like, you think he's getting rid of time zones? So for the rest of the episode, we were like, well, time zones won't matter when Donald Trump's back at office. So I just want to let you know, that was the thing you missed out of the one recording that I would say was the one salvageable part was me going, the way you just looked like, and I said, what was like,

well, the, well, it's kind of topical. The reason we were talking about time zones interesting about South bend Indiana where Notre Dame is located. And I just want to say to camera, to this one of the sweetest boys in the world, Shane Gillis, I'm sorry you're fighting Irish lost to the Buckeyes of Ohio State. Katie and I were both cheering for the fight in Irish.

When they were down 16, we really thought there was going to be a point, but South Bend needed that win. They really did. We drove through it recently. So we were coming from- We've been through Columbus and South Bend needed that win. They really did. We drove through it recently. So we were coming from. We've been through Columbus and South Bend in the last six months.

True. South Bend needed that more than Columbus needed that. We also, it was a very, we were devastated in South Bend. We were leaving Chicago to drive from Chicago to. New York. No, we were stopped, was this where we were stopping at the Benningans or we had already done that? Oh no, you're right, straight through, sorry. Chicago to New York. No, we were stopped. Was this where we were stopping at the Benningans or we had already done that? Oh no, you're right, straight through, sorry.

Chicago to New York. And we were like, if we leave at such and such time, we'll hit a McDonald's breakfast on the way out. That was kind of the, when you go on a long road trip, when you, you know, we do this as the second year we've done this, but we're getting really good. We've also done some other road trips that are very long and we're getting really good. We've also done some other road trips that are very long and we're getting really good at finding ways to treat ourselves

so that the long drive isn't as Bad we'll get to Bennington's we gotta talk about that But what we did is we woke up at Kevin and Julie's Katie's brother and And sister-in-law and shout out Charlotte puppy We were and sister-in-law and shout out Charlotte puppy we were about we're like it's the end of the road trip we had driven from New York you want to go go ahead oh bye we'll miss you she'll be back some emotional support dog yeah fucking way to give up on me I really needed you here and I know what you're

smelling she has a bone She can't eat it because she eats with her hands. Oh, now you want to come back We'll talk about we're gonna talk about you you frisky little bitch. We're jumping all over the place No, I'm just let me sell. I'll do it very quickly. We were going from Chicago. We stopped We're gonna get McDonald's breakfast. We skipped the one I feel like in Gary, Indiana We wanted to like get on the road a little before we hit a McDonald's We found that was our treat that was our treat for like we're gonna drive 13 and a half hours, right? We like hadn't gotten a coffee. We were like, let's just get on the road so that we don't stop them

We'll get the food. It's gonna be great. We had it planned perfectly. We had it It was like half an hour away. It was like weirdly far away the closest McDonald's, but we were like look at the clock We'll get there exactly on time. It'll get there with like 15 minutes right the closest McDonald's, but we were like, look at the clock, we'll get there exactly on time. It'll get there with like 15 minutes to spare on McDonald's breakfast. 30 is usually when they stopped selling breakfast. So we're like, we're going to get to 10, 15. Was palpable. We are about to get off at South bend and all of a sudden Dan looks at the

clock and he goes, the time just changed. We just crossed over. Motherfuckers jumped from the central time zone to East coast. So we lost an hour. It was 11 15. It was 11 15, which means breakfast was over 45 minutes ago. And we were like, what? It was just one of those moments where you're like, what, what?

Pure defeat. There was no, there was, that was the only energy that was in the car was pure defeat there was Mummering murmurs. Yes, there was no absolute memory and there was There's Murmford and sons This ride had everything steering wheel punching volume blasting So then we're like fuck it. We're still getting McDonald's and it was awful. It was awful. Sorry South Steering wheel punching, volume blasting.

So then we're like, fuck it, we're still getting McDonald's. And it was awful. It was awful. Sorry South Bend. It was so bad that a guy who worked at McDonald's who was standing outside having a smoke break when Dan had to go back inside with the McDonald's

to be like, you forgot our fries. When he was walking back in, that guy goes, they fuck up your order? Yeah. Dan was like, oh my God. He did it in an old black cool guy way too, where he goes, what they fuck up your order. Yeah. Dan was like, oh my God. He did it in an old black cool guy way too, where he goes, what they fuck up. And then I go, the fries?

He goes, yeah, they did. That guy was overworking there. Yeah, and I just felt like, imagine a college town that is right on the, whatever that's called, the timeline, the time zone line, like is wild to me. When you're in your age where you're like not planning for anything you have to do, it was right outside of South Bend.

Another thing, why don't you legally have to say on the highway, you're entering a time zone. Right, cause now that we are, I think it sounds so much cooler, you're in the time zone. Welcome to the time zone. Everything stops. But now that we

now that we drive such long distances, we're road dogs. I've started to notice things on the highway that are like, oh, that's where people who are driving all the time. And like you would think they'd go like, Hey y'all, it's 11 o'clock now, like just something on the highway. One of those many things they let you know, like that stupid sign we kept seeing for whatever state that was whose slogan was like jingle bells, Batman smells, buckle up or you're gonna die or something like that.

And we were like, what, why do they keep showing us this? What state was that? Mother fucking Iowa used the same joke on every highway sign. You know, the ones that hang over the road that are like, uh, it was the annoyance of that's what she said. It was like if a state kept doing, that's what she said. And it was jingle bells, Batman smells, buckle up or die.

Something like that. We may be paraphrasing, but it's close, but closer than you think. You read it the first time and you go, that's fun. Something like that. We may be paraphrasing, but it's close. It's closer than you think. You read it the first time and you go, that's fun. 16th time, you're like, get writers. Do something. Who wanted to show me this this many times? Yeah. It's not that good. This was one meeting? You had one meeting about this? There was, but as far as street signs go, our second time across the country, we did notice when going through Nebraska that they're like, they're like, Hey, if these lights are on, it's a, it's a yellow sign with flashing lights and it says, if these lights are on, the highway

is closed up ahead. Prepare to exit, prepared to exit. And we, I missed that completely. Last year we did not see that until now that we were snowed in in Big Springs, Nebraska. Now we've noticed it. And we looked at each other and we were like, I bet those lights were flashing last year. It's kind of like a little notice at all. You kind of take a little bit of the blame. You go, that might've been on me. It was on us. It might've been on us. This time we drove through Big Springs, Nebraska, didn't stop, had to stop. Both had to pee

and we needed gas. Refused to stop in Big Springs, Ohio. We're not getting caught there again. Not going to happen. You're flying T truck stop. It's great. Whatever. J I think. Flying J. Whatever. Who gives you shit? We won't be stopping there. Road dog. Road dog. Lot lizard. Yeah dude. You little skank. You don't do anything for meth. We had a good Christmas trip. This was like a great Christmas trip. It was, we were a little nervous about the baby and the dog because Myrtle doesn't have a- Myrtle's weird.

She's weird. She's a pandemic dog with a first time owner. So she's weird. She's not right, but she's not wrong. But a little baby comes in the room and she's like, can I give it every kiss? I want to give it every kiss. And on our way out there, Katie's parents were in Chicago, and we stopped with the dog. And there's a moment where you go like, all right, we're going to let you guys control the dog and the baby. We're gonna, we're just gonna let you,

you guys say you got it. Or- Because they keep going like, let her go. Because we do. I'm holding her by her collar, I'm making sure she doesn't bum rush the baby. Which is, I think a good owner. Where you go, listen, my dog's a little bit of a spaz.

I'm here, in case she goes for the baby, I'll just grab the collar and then she like, ha ha ha, you know? And you're like, and then there's no harm, no foul. I'm also not the favorite child. My brother is your backup quarterback. You're a hundred percent the backup quarterback. And Charlotte is a human baby. Yeah. Perhaps the only one our family's going to see. She's the only sign on the right. And, and ours is a dog, a very cute dog, a perfect dog, the light of my personal life. But I know in a Charlotte versus Myrtle, they will toss Myrtle out to the wolves if it saves

Charlotte. There's a part of us that would do that. Right. You have to. The hierarchy of things. I apologize. I love all beings equally. A plant is as good as a human, but- You pull out species versus species. We're taking Charlotte's back. But so I'm like, if anything were to happen where the dog hurts the baby, I'm I don't, I'm getting out ahead of the fact that Myrtle's not winning that fight. I hold Myrtle back from the fight at all.

We're we're preventing. It was a preventive measure of our dog is a spaz. Babies don't know what's going on. She just started walking within like three months. She's fresh to gravity and balance. She's never used these feet, brand new feet. Brand new feet. And she has got speed on her.

She's got Kevin's speed, 100%. You see those little feet kick, especially on her walker, she gets moving. And so there became a point where Katie's parents kept going like, no, let Myrtle out, Let Myrtle have fun. You guys are too restrictive. And we went, we went, all right, let's dance. We just went, okay, Mike and Cammie, we're going to let this go. And what happens? Charlotte comes

down the hallway and Myrtle bodies her. I mean, full go into Charlotte, drops her, the baby drops and when babies drop, they immediately cry. So it's just like, and we watch it from the kitchen. And parents to your credit are all trained to do that. Like, okay, you're okay. Me, I was like, whoa. It was a Tom Jackson on ESPN jacked up and Charlotte in the hallway got jacked up. I mean

Myrtle came she you know what and I I'm not saying it was good that she did this but I'm saying the form she ran through the play. Exactly what you want. Explosive off the line. Explosive just all I'm saying is Charlotte ain't gonna take up the a gap again if Myrtle's gonna be plugging it. That's all I'm saying is Charlotte ain't going to take up the A gap again. If Myrtle is going to be plugging it. That's all I'm saying. She's a hard nose dog. She's learning her ABCs and she's learning not to mess. And she's learning that she can't run in between the tackles. You got speed. You want to get outside. You're east to west, not north to south.

Learn from your mistakes. Maybe Charlotte runs downhill when she gets older. I just, as of right now, throw a neck roll on Myrtle because she is she's stuffed in the back. She's just I wish we would have I wish we could have had her mic'd up like NFL films. She's like all day baby all day I got nothing to lick. I got nothing to lick. But she got fucking rocked. And then immediately Katie's parents are like, Myrtle, what are you doing? And we're like, being a dog who's weird.

We told you this was going to happen. So after that, it was just, you know, one of us. It's been kind of cool watching Myrtle learn like, okay, I have to sit when this one comes in the room because she really wants to love on her. And Charlotte loves the dog. It, she does. It is perfectly. She's our dog. All she wants is for that little thing to love her back so badly that she's going to hurt. She's going to overly do it to the point where everyone's like,

chill out. Fuck. I rub off on my dog. Our baby wants attention. Are we shocked by that? There are points where Katie and I go, it really is a download. It's like you really download your personality onto your dog. Notice how she's mad that she's not getting

the attention she wants, so she storms off. Wonder where she gets that from. Wonder where she gets that from. Me. But the drive out there was good. What we were worried about was this trip. My mom's dog died. Riley died.

Rest in peace, Riley Diley. Riley, you little gay dog. He was 16 years old and what a life. He was gay before they let dogs be gay. Yeah, that was always the, you know how you give dogs voices. For me, it was giving my mom's dog like an old gay man's voice, not like a young twink, but like a, I was there at Stonewall.

And I'm going to tell you right now, it was like one of those voices where he's like, honey, it's summer. I get a summer haircut. So I don't sweat as much. Keep up if you can sailor. That was Riley's voice. So he was our old gay dog and he died, RIP. We miss him. We miss him. So my mom, in a typical Trish fashion, gave it a day, gave it like two days,

and then just immediately reboots the franchise. My mom doesn't wait. My mom doesn't do a period of mourning. She just went and got a new dog. I'll say she does a period of trial at the beginning of having a dog as well. And I'm a new dog owner. I don't know the ways of this of the world. I know that I met my baby and I couldn't imagine my life without her and I'll cry if anything

ever happens to her and I'll never be able to replace her. Trish is like, look, I bring a dog into the house. If I don't like it after two weeks, taking it back. It's been that way my whole life. I understand the phone call I will have to have because of this conversation. I will get a call from Trish. And you know what?

10 toes down. It's how I've been my whole life. My mom gets a dog. It's a 10 day contract. How you plan? How are you? Do you mesh with the clubhouse? What is, what is, what's the upside on this dog? Because in my mom's defense,

there was a puppy she got when we first got Myrtle. My mom got before she got William, she had a dog cause Oreo her other dog died. My mom has a lot of deaths of dogs. Well, we have a lot of dogs. I think that follows it. We have a lot of dogs. But my mom had a dog Yeah, we have a lot of dogs. Close your ears. But my mom had a dog whose stomach was real fucked up and he had to be put down.

So she got another dog that she didn't realize. She got a puppy. Around the same time we got Myrtle, and this puppy got too big, too fast. And my mom was like, I'm a lady in my 70s. This dog's gonna body me. And it happened, where the dog pulled her one time and hurt her shoulder and she was like, I'm a lady in my seventies. This dog's gonna body me. And it happened where the dog pulled her one time and hurt her shoulder and she was like,

I can't control this dog. So she gave it to a farmer in Eastern Colorado. This woman is not dumping her dogs off on the side of the road. I will also don't, I'm helping. I will also say it's not, it's better than people keeping a dog forever. And then like they have a baby and they abandon,

she's not abandoning a dog. She's bringing a dog into her home and then kind of making the right call of like, oh, this isn't gonna work. It is responsible. And then brings it to somebody else. She makes sure the dog has a home. It's just funny to me,

cause I've only ever had one dog and I can't picture bringing a dog in and then being like, get out, you again, get out of my house. I told Katie the first time Katie goes, your mom returns dogs. And I was like, yeah. And then I go through my childhood and I'm like, the amount of instances there was George, there was like a bunch of dogs that we would get. And my mom would be like, I'm not really feeling this. I'm just kind of looking for more of a speed back. And I feel like, so we would get, we would, my mom would take the dogs back

to the Denver Dumb Friends League. Dumb, Denver Dumb Friends League. That's what the pound was called. The name of where they adopt. It's so funny to call animals dumb friends. My mom made the joke, when my parents moved us from Connecticut to Colorado when I was five, and my mom said she was gonna go get a dog

for our dog Izzy to have like a companion. She like I'm gonna go to many dogs he's named just you've got a lot of dogs dude boy and his dogs Montana and Myrtle top two my dad when she told my dad that it was the Denver Dumb Friends League he thought she's gonna come like the joke he made he's like I thought she's gonna come back with a little retarded guy like They're like, hi. Oh, it's my Denver. It's just some dumb friends just hanging out. They got a league going. They got jerseys. They fucking high five each other.

Ever since he told me that they call it Denver dumb friends league, we've started calling our dumb friends PetSmart. Yeah. They're not dumb, they're PetSmart. Yeah, they're PetSmart. That's the level of intelligence. Hey guys, I don't know if you're like me and you've just had a steady diet of crappy food since you were a child or since you lived on your own and you're like, I can eat whatever

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And she was, she found Freckles. So cute. She's a very cute dog. Also great backstory. I mean, horrific backstory. I meant like, sorry, in terms of character development, it wasn't great as an experience for the dog to be clear. I feel like you said it was great. All the horror, horrific shit she went through. I think I said she loved it and she should be grateful. Um, the dog was clearly crate trained or potty trained. Like it knew not to, so it had at some point a home or been trained, but it was found on like, uh, I'm going to get the type of blue collar work wrong,

but like an oil rig or a something in Arizona, yes. And then New Mexico, the dog would like come up to the people that worked there and they would like feed the dog or whatever. And eventually they were like, this is a problem. We gotta get this dog a home. So they called them. It just kept coming back.

Freckles just kept coming back and oil workers were feeding her like their lunch or whatever. So they took her to a shelter that. A dumb friends league, if you will, a local group of dumb friends. Well, I'll tell you right now, these dumb friends, they like to kill each other

because it was a kill shelter. Oh, it was a kill shelter, that's right. That's not fair. And so they reached out and they said like, we got this dog in New Mexico. My mom liked the way that she thought Freckles was cute. So they sent her up, this dog is so fucking sweet. It might be the sweetest dog I've ever met in my life.

Myrtle was to me the most like lovey dovey, like sweet little baby dog. This, until I met Freckles this dog wanted to touch you and and mush into you and like give you her belly to be rubbed constantly yeah in a way that I could see annoying other people it did not annoy me yeah she's so sweet Katie loved it she was so get up on on the couch and freckles were just right up there just putting her head on her or whatever. And we were worried.

So we were worried because Myrtle is an only child. She's an only dog. She's a pandemic dog. She's fucking weird. She's out here. And a city girl. City girl out here just absolutely rocking babies anytime they're stepping up to her.

And we were like, I hope there isn't a weird thing with my mom's new dog and Myrtle. And we got there, they sniffed some butts, sniffed puss, and then started growling. There was some growling, there was some awkwardness the first day. Then, Fast friends.

Fast friends, got along like gangbusters, wrestled nonstop. Humped, Myrtle got her humps in And this is what I was gonna bring up Myrtle learned about cow cheekbones so Myrtle's tooth broke like a year ago, we stopped giving her like toys to chew on because The vet told us that dog toys are too firm now So when dogs they're too hard so dogs bite them and their teeth break That's what happened to Myrtle So we had to have her tooth pulled and so then we were just kind of like give us

You guys know like vets don't do you have to get like a vet dentist? There's like I was like what it's just do I thought it was a one-stop shop. It's a dog and these are the teeth of the dog. They go No, I can get you I can get you in with my vet. I need a referral. Can I go to my your vet? That's like yeah, I need like a our vet was like, No, but there's one by you that will do tooth surgery. So we got we had and it's cost a lot. And it was it sucked. And so we just kind of avoided giving her firm treats. We go to my mom's house. They're in Colorado. They got these giant cheekbone bones. They look

like bones, but it's just a cheek rolled up on itself. Yeah, yeah. It's like hide. It's it's it's pretty much exactly we're talking about. If your dog aren't Yeah, we're we're being city hicks about this. But it's like hardened. But when you eat it and it gets wet, it like softens. And so she's like, you know, going to town on that. And boy, did she like it. So Myrtle just grabs it. she just grabs freckles bone and starts eating it and there is blood everywhere yeah cuz she has chewed gums she hasn't chewed anything so her gums is bled and we're like this might be a problem Dan flosses it's about that time of year

in it I don't have a retort because she's not wrong. I mean nobody flosses. I go, it's just, I clumped some blood. Like this is why I don't do this because all the blood, it's like well technically if you did it. And I put Listerine in and I go, I put Listerine in and I go, it burns! But Myrtle loved the cowhide bone with the blood and all and it became her thing that now we can't let her do it because she holds it with her arms. Okay, can dog owners help us with this? First of all, fire off in the comments about Trish returning dogs. Is this normal? No, don't. My mom reads the comments. So she will read all this stuff. So fire off. Let Trish know if she was right or wrong for returning a dog. Now I think it's a good program, but- Awful. But hey. But I know my mom's reading this. Myrtle is. She's gonna be like, yes, Dan, they're saying horrible.

And she starts, don't comment, Trisha, if you're watching this, don't comment back. I think my dad commented on an Instagram post that Casuals posted today. I was like, dad, please don't do that. Dad, you can't do that. Stop. I know I said dad, you can't.

This is them dropping you off at school. You could just let me know how to block away. Please. Stop following me. You pick me up, but don't pick me up at the door of the party. Stop liking my stuff on Instagram. Call me. I'm not gonna do that. This is the them dropping you off at school. You could just let me know to block away Stop following don't pick me up at the door of the party. I'm liking my stuff on Instagram Leave me alone. It's just like I read these comments like stop. I

Kept my mom off Twitter. She never got on Twitter. I was happy about that one But I know she's just up in these fucking YouTube comments. So let her know second one Let her know about the cheekbones. Yeah, because Myrtle holds it. I love it visually. She holds it like a person. She holds it between her paws. It's kind of like when she dogs using their paws as hands is one of the best things you will ever if it's giving your hand, if it's anything, if they hold stuff with their paws, when she does this, when she's tired, classic Myrtle, you know, when you stretch, when she stretches she goes. It's great, you gotta see it live. We both do it.

It's really something. But she holds it and then she's slobbering away at this thing and I never thought I would criticize my technically offspring's hairy arms, but her hairy arms is getting, it's caught in the hair and it's like not mange, and it's like not mange but it's like stuck in her and when we got to scrub her arms off and I'm just like how do I let you enjoy this wonderful treat without it making you look like you don't have a place to go to sleep at night? Yeah she

looks homeless. She sleeps in bed with us and she looks like she lives outside. We at half time of one of the divisional games had to draw a bath and both of us stand in the bath and wash her arms because her arms were so mangy from her eating these bones. And by the way, it's just crazy about the bone. That's what she was doing over there. She was like trying

to find it because I hid it while we were giving her the bath. And she came out. She's like, I know I still got a little bit of that bone left. I know it's like a face hair. She acts like an alcoholic. She comes out. She's like, I still got a little bit of that bone left. I know it's like a- It gets in her face hairs. She acts like an alcoholic. Yeah, a lot.

She comes out and she's like, I still got whiskey in that bottle. Where the fuck did you put that bottle? And so I just want to know like, is there an easy to use product? Because we went through all the dog stuff we've bought to try to get that out of her. Didn't work.

Short of shampooing her legs, how do I get that out? It's nasty. And people come into this house and she's like, she's got cow cheek. She's a gross little bitch. She's so nasty. I wouldn't have it any other way.

But freckles in her got along wonderfully. Wonderfully. Until she gave, I don't want to say this freckles fault. I'm saying it's freckles fault. She gave Myr don't want to say this Freckles' fault. I'm saying it's Freckles' fault. She gave Myrtle an eye infection. Oh, a double eye infection. She had both eyes, she got her. Where we like, looked, she looked high as fuck.

Over the course of the ride when we were driving to Chicago, like we saw it the night before and we were like, oh, sometimes your dog's eyes just get red. Honestly, sometimes Myrtle gets so fired up about something that it's as if she's going inside of her. And then you look at her, you look at her eyes and their bloodshot. And it's just because she was like, I want to have that baby. And so when they were bloodshot, I'm like, maybe she just, it was excited. We're leaving or something. I don't know.

Can I take blame for that? Because I think she watches me podcast and want to blurt in with a joke. And I go, you're just fucking. And that's her. So I think that's, I think she picked that up for me. So you're holding it back.

I can do a voice right now. But I couldn't. I'm gonna finish their sentence. It's the hardest part of podcasting. But anyway, I thought maybe that was why your eyes were red. And then the next morning when we woke up and we were on a tight schedule, we had to drive to get to our, to Bennigan's.

Well, well, well. The one at the end of the tunnel. This is the next chapter. We were driving from Chicago to Denver. And what we do. The first time we were going out there. That drive, for all you road dogs watching. and what we do is that drive for the you all you road dogs watching

We do Chicago to Kearney, Nebraska One day and then we do Kearney, Nebraska to Denver, which is about five or six hours While we're going Chicago to Kearney, Nebraska. We're passing through Toledo, Ohio beautiful we notice There's a Bennegan's Right off the highway. It's on one of those highway signs. It's like food off this exit. Pimp's a city kid. Do you remember Bennegan's at all? Wow. If you grew up in the 90s, Bennegan's was, Bennegan's walked so Applebee's could run. Bennegan's was the first tchotchke

restaurant. Yeah, Burbs. It was in your burbs. It was in the burbs. Shout out to Monte Cristo. Shout out to their chicken tendies. Just the honey musty in general. Honey mustard, the Dijon mustard. Yeah, they call it something like Dijon something that made me go, is that the same sauce? It is, it's honey mustard, but it's so good.

We were driving from Chicago to Kearney, Nebraska, and we see a Bennegan's and we're like, there's no way. There's a Bennegan's? So we weren't hungry. It wasn't time to eat yet. It was like early in the morning. So we go, we drive to Kearney, then we go to Denver. And while we're in Denver, we're like, we're gonna.

Why Myrtle, why cry? Why? What's happening? She wasn't getting any attention that's why. Goodness gracious. So we're dry, we're in Denver and we know we got to go to Chicago. We're not doing a straight shot but our stopping point can move. Can move and we know Toledo is about 10 hours. Right. On a 15 hour drive from Denver to Chicago that leaves us five the next day easy to do that way we're fun when we when we because on our way back when we land in Chicago Kevin and Julie are just there the parents aren't there it's kid time now we just get to have kid fun yeah so we're like where do we stop we

looked it up in Toledo and I was like should we go to that Bennigan's turns out there's a holiday and express. The Bennegan's is in a hotel. It's attached. It's not in the hotel. It was attached. That's in the hotel. No, no, no.

You have to, to me, to me, let's have this out. Yeah. Let's litigate. I was just, Oh my God, it's stuck to me. That's why I was like, or was I silent? You were silent. Shut your mouth woman. In a hotel means you walk in the door of the hotel and the restaurant is in the hotel.

Okay, I could see that. Versus connected, which has a completely separate entrance. You don't even need to go in the hotel to go in the restaurant. You can just go in the restaurant and you can leave. For the sake of brevity and time on the podcast, fine. Also, cause you just got smoked in that argument. No, it's just like a silly argument.

Like a lot of times they have a separate entrance and it still opens up to the lobby. Like a lot of times. This one didn't open up to the lobby. Okay. And that's, and that's fine. So it's just like, does it mean a lot to you to win this? Yeah, clearly. And there obviously was no entrance

to the Bennegan's through the hotel. You had to go outside. Then it's not connected. That's different. No, it's not attached at all's different. Then it's attached. No, it's not attached at all. Attached means there's a door. I feel like I'm losing my mind here.

Let's not, let's look past it. It's not in the hotel. Okay. It's connected. They're in the same building. When you go into the hotel, when we checked in, there's a Bennigan's menu in the room. Cause they know it's walking distance.

I'm gonna lose my mind. Basically we found out the thing that we wanted to go to was attached. This is the kind of arguments I want all the smoke on. To a thing that we could stay at that was dog friendly. Cause that what, usually that's like the like, oh, that's a hotel, but not dog friendly. When I saw that it was dog friendly, I was like.

We're staying at the Bennigan's hotel. We're staying at the Bennigan's, at the Bennigan's inn. Bennigan inn. So we get like. Bennigan's, that's it. Bennigan, yeah. Like American, it's better than American. American. Rename your franchise. What a silly America in, but it's American.

And this is coming from two road dogs. Fuck your stupid name for your motel. Your outdoor, the rooms open outdoors. You're calling it American. I'm an American out on that. the rooms open outdoors, you're calling American. American. I'm Americ-out on that. Yeah.

But we got so excited in Denver that we're like, all right, we'll drive to Bennegan's. And then as we're driving there, we're like Myrtle's eyes are fucked up. These are crusted clothes. Which of course then, like any dog owner, you turn on the other dog that got your dog sick. So I kept being like fucking Skittles

or whatever the fuck her name is. It could be like. The amount of names you gave the dog. I was like Skittles got us. Pebbles got our dog all screwed up. Yeah, and I was so mad about it. And I called a vet when I was passenger princess, I called and I found a vet that we had to take her to

early in the morning to get eye drops because we didn't want to take her to early in the morning to get eye drops, because we didn't want to take her to Chicago with those things. But man. Especially because imagine, the dog gives Charlotte an eye infection, they're gonna ask me to put her down. I don't know what to, I was like, we gotta put up a wall. It's way worse than a sack.

Way worse. That's way worse, that is a full on thing. But we found a vet, more importantly, she was sick and we got benign and it fucking ruled. She just like slept on the bed and we were just. Oh my God, the tendies mixed. We watched something bad, yep, remembering what it was. We watched something that was cringy.

Yep. Cringe watch while eating benign. Very fun. And I'll tell you man, I forgot that the Monte Cristo comes in four slices. First three are heaven. Fourth one's tough to get through. And I watched you like a good soldier be like, I'm never going to be able to, I'm not going to be close to a Bennegan's again soon.

I owe it to the sandwich to get it down. And then like halfway through that fourth one, you were like, you know, the whole thing's deep fried and you can just see you being like, were like you know the whole thing's deep-fried And you can just see you being like Yeah, I had the jelly dip which it comes with Fantastic. Weird. I didn't know that. Love it raspberry jelly dip and then I mixed it up with the ranch for a little for a little savory That's I mean that he's sick. He's sick. I don't have a sense of smell. I had to let go of his taste combos when I made, was it buttered noodles? And you were like, you put hot sauce in it?

Yeah. I was like, what are we doing? What are we doing? Oh yeah, put a lot of chanula. It doesn't benefit me to, to, to let your freak flag fly when it comes to your ranch. I turn a blind eye out of, you know, I eat like a man without a sense of smell who insists his sense of taste is no

different. No, it's, it has been severely handicapped. Yeah. But you know what kicks through ranch hot sauce hot sauce. I do know that I've noticed that in sweets and the sugary sweetness of things. Yeah. Um, that Benningans I felt bad. I was really kind of hoping for an in restaurant experience with some merch. I really had a whole thing dreamed up and let me tell you right now, Benningans ain't doing so hot. Yeah the crazy thing about it you go in that Bennigan's and you go I have seen restaurants that are in lobbies of air

hotels much better run than this. Yeah I feel like in New York you rarely find a restaurant at this point on a delivery app that doesn't have a section where it's like t-shirts hats and you're like I like a $75 t-shirt from the place I get my chicken parm. At first it was weird, but now I'm used to it. In fact, one time it usually means it's good merch. In fact, one time we had disagreed against small little fight like we have. It bothered me that I was in charge of remembering which restaurants we ordered stuff from. There was a specific- You would just get to say, I want that bagel. And I pushed back and I said, and where's that bagel from?

And he was like, I don't know. Well, I have to know the name of the place or something. And so then I bought as the punchline to soften the blow when the bagels arrived, they came with a t-shirt and I said, now you'll never forget what this bagel place is called. It was Baz Bagelry over a bazillion sold. Yeah, over a bazillion sold. But they had the really good egg sandwich. And I was like, no, I want the egg sandwich.

And she was like, what's the name of the place? And it was one of those things where it's really... It was unnecessary. It was really one of those things that early enough in the morning where I go, I don't know. And she goes, so what? I'm just supposed to know that? And I was like, it's just fucking...

You order the fucking egg sandwich. And then you're like, why don't you learn the name? And then we can have it I think Murdo for a walk and you know that walk was just spicy That's the thing about you is you just got to know he's arguing with you in his head on the walk And so I can either argue with him and then when we meet back up have like two separate arguments at each other or I can just go like Yeah, I'll spend the $35 on a t-shirt he might never wear.

I do think it's worth it for him to open it up and be like why is there and then I'll just be smiling with my sweet little face and then he'll laugh and oh we'll kiss. And that's pretty much what happened. And that is pretty much what happened. And I love that shirt. I love my Baz Bagel shirt over a bazillion salt.

I wear it all the time. But Bennigan's, I think you could really, if you're not on the way out, maybe they're just like, hey lady, we're playing music as the ship goes down. Yeah. Be grateful for the food. It felt like that. But it was like, if you guys just sold a green Benegans

crew neck sweatshirt, like a champion, almost, like the old champ, I would buy that. Go for comfort. Benegans's all these people I feel like comedians got too good at selling merch and restaurants got worse at it It always used to be when you walked in remember that place I showed you that's now closed down called emerald aisle the place that I worked at in aurora. Yes It was uh, like the view or something. It was a view of the reservoir in the mountains. It was beautiful

It just recently closed. Is that where the lady drove out onto the ice? No that was Yaya's in the Denver Tech Center. I'll tell that story in a little bit that was fucking nuts. I worked at Emerald Isle which that was my first job it was illegal I was 14 and I was busing tables there they paid me cash in an envelope and gave me Marlboro lights and they had the best merch you would go in it was like a shitty Mexican restaurant great bar unbelievable patio that was all the money was booze shitty tacos and burritos and shit fire t-shirts Emerald Isle which is named for Ireland but it's a Mexican restaurant I don't know Emerald Isle little thing on the front, back. If you're from Aurora or you live in Colorado,

I bet someone out, I bet someone watching this got an Emerald Isle shirt and they go, it is a good shirt. Good merchant of restaurants, what you want. I was expecting to go into Bennigan's. My plan, my fantasy booking this, was I was gonna go downstairs, walk into Bennigan's, and get you a cute little small sweatshirt get myself a

Reliable t-shirt and a comfy hoodie. Yeah for Sunday. You were gonna Spend it all I was willing to drop $200 on merch Wow, and that's what you do with our money balls in your court I was willing to drop 200 instead could save a whole restaurant. Instead I spent $55 on a Monte Cristo and some chicken tenders. Was not bummed about that. Just saying that could have been a $300 bill, which I would have tipped 60 even on merch.

Yeah. Just saying. Could have been, could have put money into money. And then the others, but you were thinking was I waited table, I didn't wait tables, I bus tables at a place called Yaya's, in existence at in the Denver Tech Center and When I was in high school, there was a snowstorm It's on the Yaya's is like up a hill and

On the corner of where the streets meet there was a pond like a small pond I don't know how deep it is, but it's it's it's It's not that small. It's actually pretty is, but it's, it's, it's, it's not that small. It's actually pretty, pretty big, but it's not like a fucking lake or anything. It's like a pond that's in a tech center thing. Yeah. Everyone's picturing exactly what you mean. I think it's snowed.

There was light snow over everything. The pond was frozen. Yeah. An elderly lady and her friend were going to the restaurant I worked at, Yaya's, for lunch. They did not know it was a pond. They thought it was a parking lot. These women drove onto the pond.

The car went into the water. One of my managers saw it happen. Grabbed a propane tank from the heat torches from outside like on the patio as the car was going in it. So the pond was deep enough that the car could go like this. He threw one of the propane tanks through the back window, pulled one woman out, another woman, the driver died. And I worked that night.

Worked that night. Pretty slow. They stayed open. Pretty slow. And no one came in. driver died and I worked that night. Worked that night. Pretty slow. They stayed open. Pretty slow. No one came in. They caught me pretty quickly. But it was wild.

And shout out Patrick, my manager, had such coke energy that you were like, what a manager to be on board. Not the guy that's making the schedule trying to get pussy, but the guy that's like, guys, you didn't do your side work. And then you're like, hey, there's an accident. He's like, ah, and I get through and pulled a lady out. Crazy the quickness you have to come up with. I would have been like, what should I, and if I could, and I just paralyzed by all the

ways I could save them and they would die. It was a tragedy. A woman died. I just remember being at work that night, like staring at the pond through the window, being like, this is fucked up. And then they're like, can you pre-bust 46? And you go- Having to roll silverware when you're,

a lady died here. But also as a high schooler, when you get cut early, it is like- Probably the best. Cause that ruled even when you're older. When you're an adult and you need rent. It's like suddenly I'm not at work anymore. And my mom thinks I'm at work.

Yeah, oh yeah. Didn't think about that. Mom thinks I'm at work til 11? Yeah. Cause that's when I get cut. Think I'm gonna go to Zach Moore's house. Think I'm gonna smoke weed and play N64 Mario tennis. Of course, of course you are.

And then go, sorry mom. I'm glad you brought that up. Because we have not yet told anybody I've had no platform with which to share that on Wii Golf When we go home for Christmas Trish to punch through Let me have this it says and nothing to do with what Trish shot We don't know what Trish shot not being mentioned in the story. So

There is a tradition at my mom's house where we play old Nintendo Wii Golf my mom and I have been playing it for fucking 10 years. However long it's been since the Nintendo Wii came out. We've been playing Wii Sports Golf. You can play nine holes total. You can't even get 18. I know there's a new game, but there's too many. Isn't that talking about the old one?

We're talking about the old one and we love it so much that we play it on Christmas, which you have for the last three years. And I was new to it and I'm not, I got, um, what would usually happen if we're being honest, I would have like a, I do okay. And then all of a sudden I'd have like a round where I was like 10 over and then I'd be like, this sucks. And I would just, woo. It's like real golf. Truly. I'll have a couple of good ones. And then I'm like, I'm just here for the beer.

I do not want to do this anymore because it gets too frustrating. And by the way, I've had meltdowns. I've watched Trisha have meltdowns. I try to be a good sport. I know we're there to interact socially. It's very fun. Usually Trisha makes cocktail.

We'll smoke a bowl. We get up there, fucking, you know. But this day. Chip King, fucking Katie comes in Christmas of 2024. Now the records, the records are the best I've ever shot on Nintendo Wii Golf is eight under. My mom has shot a seven under. Those are very hard to get.

Usually you're like five under and then you start bricking on the last two holes. They show you a little line graph of how you've done over time and they are up here and mine goes like, meh, meh, meh. I'm always at the bottom. Katie comes in day after Christmas. I think it was the day after Christmas.

I don't know what got into me. Might have been Christmas. Might have been Trish's Bailey's that got into me. Yeah, my mom makes Bailey's. She makes homemade Bailey's which are. She puts it in my coffee. I'm telling you right now, that was when I quit drinking, that was the one of the things

she was genuinely bummed about. I know. She goes, you can't have the Bailey's anymore. And you're like, yeah, it's all whiskey. I know I can't. She has some fucking, she got a little Colorado dude in her. Fucking has some Bailey's. Fucking Katie comes out, shoots eight under, ties the record.

She holds the record. That record's been there for fucking six years. And I've never sniffed it. I've never come close. Never holds the record. That record's been there for fucking six years. And I've never sniffed it. I've never come close. I've never even came close. I've never threatened the throne at all. And now Katie is up there on the mountain. And it was right after I shot a seven under the game before, which was also crazy. I don't know what happened that day. I just want to get it on wax because I don't think it's ever going to happen again. I want to make sure I celebrate my wins. Why can't 2025 at the end of this year be the year that you get?

Or when we, if we go out there during the summer nine under, because if I'm honest, I didn't learn anything from the experience. There was no like, Oh, here's what it is. I've cracked the code. I think I, it just was a perfect moment of all the right things working together. And I, I'm, I and I'll be chasing that. You know what happened? What? Got out of your own way.

Yeah, ain't that life. Ain't that life. Hopefully. And look what that led to. I stayed my own way a lot. Benegans, I think this podcast is gonna lead to someone at Benegans corporate getting us some pretty nice sweatshirts.

Yeah. If I could say so, I'll just make it myself. Yeah, you can do that. I'll just make your own sweatshirt now. Should do that. Bennigan's, what are you fucking doing? Which by the way, when does this come out? Next week.

Oh, I was gonna say if it came out anytime this week. Kevin's birthday is on Thursday. Happy birthday, Kevin. Happy birthday, Kevin. It was last Thursday. Yeah. It's actually your birthday today. Today. It's gonna come out on your birthday.

Happy birthday, Katie. Hey, thanks guys. Tell come out on your birthday. Happy birthday, Katie. Hey, thanks guys. Tell everybody, Katie, tell Katie happy birthday everybody. And listen to our podcast, Casuals, which is everywhere that podcasts are available. Go like, subscribe, it's fucking great. Episode one is Stavros, episode two. We know, we think, but he's not confirmed,

so I don't wanna say. Episode three, could be me. It's your boy. Might be me. Might be recording it today. Why would you do that while doing that? Because plugging the podcast and itching your balls is why. He's not gonna show it.

It's not that casual. Yeah, listen to casuals. It's our podcast. If you wanna call it that, you better be ready to live that. Can I just say here, because we are in the podcast referenced in what I'm about to say, I sit usually right on the other side of this wall and just like say hi to your guests

and then I'm just hanging out. And after enough of doing that, I was like, you know what? Let's just make a podcast. I have to sit on the sidelines and watch this fucking podcast happen in my apartment. I hope that didn't sound like that. I meant like I hear you making people laugh and laughing with people.

And I just feel like, you know that meme that went viral a while ago of somebody like with the billboard and he's sitting there, he's like me listening to a podcast and it's like them all laughing in the ad and he's eating going like, ah. I just felt like I was laughing at the conversations

you were, and I was like, I should, I gotta, and so rather than do what I always do, which is like, I don't want to start back up until I have exactly what the thing is that I want to make, and I want to make it perfect. I was like, let's just, look, everybody's got a podcast. So go make a podcast, and if it sucks, no one's going to notice, cause nobody cares,

because everybody has a podcast. So I'm just making a podcast. You're just back out there. I'm just trying to get back out there. Just back on the scene. So that it doesn't feel like doing something is doing a million things. I just need to get back into the groove of stuff and figure it out.

And the concept of casuals seems easy enough to me. It's just like sports for people that like feel like sports leaves them out. Or sports for people that are like, I don't really care like that. Or sports for people that just want to know a little bit about everything going on. Sports now are it's became, especially with gambling money, a very intense thing where, uh, everyone that talks about sports seems like they're doing it to make money instead of just enjoying it for the fandom of just being like, Hey,

I like this and I just want to talk about it because I like it. It's like trying to drive home a point or get across like a bet that you should make instead of, oh my God, I have no idea what bet you should make. I don't even bet my own money. Don't let me tell you what to do with your money. I don't know about mine, but it's also like, man, there is a, there is a whole, um, slice of the pie that's missing of just like, I just like sports. I just like, I miss baseball, because it's on during the day

and I can watch the Tigers and the Blue Jays and just enjoy it and not be like, my parlay is fucked because Ramirez didn't hit fucking for the cycle. Before gambling was legal, I was very like, hey, let people make their own decisions. Don't tell them what to, it could help reinvigorate the economy.

What my issue with it is, is that once it was legal, it was everywhere. There was no like, hey, maybe every single show isn't brought to you by DraftKings. Hey, maybe every commercial break shouldn't have three ads featuring the most popular athletes telling me how to lose my money to them. Maybe, like I just was thinking about like little me and like little me didn't really

feel reflected anyway in sports media growing up. But like at least I could watch, you know, like Stuart Scott and, and like watch the sport of it and be surprised and interested by the sport of it. Like Kenny Maine without being like, Oh, and also it just feels so tied to gambling now that I think a younger fan would have interested by the sport of it, like Kenny Maine, without being like, Oh, and also, it just feels so tied to gambling now that I think a younger fan would have a hard time going like, Oh, this can exist separate from this. And I kind of want casuals to be like, Hey, you can gamble or you can not gamble, but we're not brought to you by gambling. Hopefully. I mean, cut to me.

Being like, I couldn't make any money. Welcome to fan duel Myrtle. They do have. We let fan duel, they control our dog now. Yeah, they're- They do have the most money in sports and they are to their credit, they're making content, but like everybody's getting paid by that.

And I am like, if you made me tell people what to gamble on and then they lost their house and then someone came to me and said that to me, I'm not built that way. I'm built different parentheses derogatory. I am like, if you come up to me and say, I lost my house because of a thing you told me to do, I'm like, I'm so, I crumble.

I already think I'm the worst person on earth most of the time. And like, if somebody, I would just, it's too much. And so I just wanna like talk about sports and be silly. I don't want to feel like everybody's got to know everything. I don't feel like my house is on the line. It's just like, don't you love sports?

And aren't sports crazy? I'm happy you have it because there's so many times where we watch sports and have so many good bits that has nowhere to go, that has nowhere to go. And now you have a whole home for all our little fun little bits that happen during seasons. Oh, can I ask you this? And you can cut this out of the podcast if it's not good podcast content, but it was

an issue I ran into today where basically, and I don't know what to do in these situations. I want you to tell me, I'll be talking to someone about something and it basically walks into a bit of yours. I today stopped Stavi and I was like, yes, and I agree, but this is like a joke of Dan's. And I don't wanna basically just quote Dan's joke. So I'm gonna make us abandon this very funny topic. Watch my comic bring up what bit?

I'm trying to think. If we can sit in silence for 20 seconds, I think I can remember it. Impossible to try it. Put the counter up. What was it? I think I can remember it. Impossible, but try it. Put the counter up. What was it? Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh no, what was it?

Was it my bit about how I'm a generous lover? No. Okay. We're back in. Back in. You didn't even need to see that. What do I do in that situation? That's the right thing, right?

Because for me- Oh, Soder has a bit about this. Okay. You want- Oh, Soder? I said it. That was from my brain. Love of my life has a bit. Because that's exactly what he did. I said, I agree, but Dan has this joke. The man- I think my wife calls me Soder.

I mean, my fucking mom does. Why wouldn't you? The man I love the most has this bit. Yeah. Let's back away out of respect. Oh, no, no, no. Um, yeah, I don't know. I don't really like, or get into it and be like, oh, so and so has a bit, but, but then my fear is I just burned your joke on my podcast. Stand-ups different. Stand-ups

different. Stand-up is like, um, there's always a regret that I have when I go like, oh, I kind of have a bit that goes like this, cause you're not doing it the service of like performing the bit and like getting into it and hitting the punch line. There's like, you know, and comedy is especially when it's conversational and that kind of stuff, you're going to bump into stuff that people have said that they go like, I said that and you go like, well, it's not really, you're like, Sam Rill has a bit about Abraham Lincoln being gay, I have a bit about Abraham Lincoln being gay.

It is two totally different jokes. So funny how specific that is. Yeah, and because he said it last night when I got off stage at the cellar. There's a comic Pete at the cellar that was doing a joke about his grandmother dying at the age of 103. I have a joke about it.

I mean people's grandmothers die. So it's just like there's, there's topics. So if you bump into the topic, I think the safe thing to do is go, uh, so and so has a bit about it, but then you, you're like, you're tagging it. And then you're like, all right, now we can just fuck it, fuck around and joke around about it. You're very good at that because your brain, you can hear a joke once. Like you watched Chappelle's monologue and you came out

and you could recite it for me word for word and it didn't even look like it took you that much effort to remember. It was great. Your brain when it comes to comedy is wild. Your brain when it comes to comedy is wild. I think it's why people always come up to you and they're like, hey, tell you a joke and then they go,

does anybody have that yet? Oh yeah. Dan goes, no. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life was when David Tell called me and he go, does anybody have that yet? Oh yeah. Dan goes, no. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life was when David Tell called me and he was like, anybody have this bit? I've told the joke a ton of times, but he just like did a bunch of jokes and I go,

oh, I don't know, but for this one, you could say like serial and he goes, not looking for tanks. And then hung up and I was like, ah, fuck. But yeah, I think a lot of comics are like that. I think when you just like, especially writing jokes, you're like, oh, I know that, ah, fuck. But yeah, I think a lot of comics are like that. I think when you just like, especially writing jokes, you're like, oh, I know that it's, I bet musicians are a lot like that too.

Where they go like, so and so has a song that goes ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Like I always find it interesting in documentaries when musicians talk, they did that one about Quincy Jones organizing. The aid. Yeah, the world aid or whatever it was and watching they talk about him writing a song with Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson was just like, no, but the hook can go, I follow.

That's my big thing. My algorithm on Instagram right now are old white dudes who have podcasts with old musicians and they talk about being pimps nodding you know what I'm talking about well they'll be in the studio and they go like then he looked at me and said you got a drum fill for that and I said do that and you're like I love this shit I'm like so into that specifically yeah that's what's great about social media is you can find stuff like that really like creatively that's such a fun itch to scratch. And then you scroll because it finished and all of a sudden you're just watching

a person eat quickly, eat a lot of food quickly, or you're watching a person pretend to be AI. Hey, watch me eat all these pancakes. That's how you know we're in trouble. Hey, we were saying when TikTok shut down, we were doing end of the world pinky doll where she's just in a tent and you just pay money to go in there and she goes, oh, give her $5. She takes the money. She goes, like, got me feeling like a cow girl. Let me run it. She goes, give me five. Just keep giving her money. You're like, oh fuck.

TikTok in person is such a funny idea. Just people just being like, give me more money. Give me. Everything's absurd. But overall the Christmas trip this year. Fantastic. Fantastic. We didn't get snowed in in Nebraska.

We didn't get into too many arguments. We didn't get pulled over. We got pulled over last year. In Gary, Indiana. Somebody was going a little too fast. A little too fast, too furious. And she was like, I'm gonna start the day out driving. I was like, all right.

And then she got pulled over right as I was loading the one hitter. So. Not great. Thank God I didn't rip that bad boy. Cause when I'm passenger princess. Yeah, it smokes a lot of weed. And I don't smoke weed in drive.

Wagon bake. I'm not crazy. I'm the passenger princess. But I'm in my sweats. I'm in my sweats with my coffee like this and I go, I kind of want to get really high right now. I don't want to get really high. That's me as a passenger.

I said, Oh, look who's here. Oh my God. That's risky. Yeah, dude. She loves pimp. Look at her. She gets in there. She finds her way in there. But it was a great trip.

I love doing it. I think it's a thing that we can do while we're young and sexy. Yeah, which we are both. And check, check and check. It's just a very fun way to do Christmas, to see everybody, to get to, and then we got to spend an extra day in Colorado, see the family. Yeah. It's a long trip by the end of it dying to just be home and I keep saying to whoever's around like this is no

Offense to you. I just really want to sleep in my own bed. Yeah, it was two weeks Yeah, it's a long time to be gone, but you are so easy to road trip with you're just you know the guy and it's It's great. I love time with you I like spending time with like little swaths of the guy and it's, it's great. I like spending time with you. I like spending time with like little swaths of the family and getting little things in. Yeah. I got like a scalp massage treatment in Chicago with Julie. We did a little spa treatment. It's very fun.

It's very fun to like be in Chicago one day, be in Denver the next, and then come all the way and then come back home and not do anything. We're jet setters. Yeah. And then we did not the whole month of January has been so nice. I've been so spoiled. Yeah. Cause you just haven't been on the road, but I'm back on the road. Dance owner.com. Get tickets. Go because otherwise I'm just like, you're not hanging out for no reason. So buy, sell that out. Huntsville, Alabama. I'm bringing the sag daddy with me and then California trip

You might be with me on that one depends depends on what we got going on on what's going on I mean, what's going on over there? I don't know because we do have the February 28th, I'll be in San Diego at the Balboa Theater March 1st supposed to be at the United Theatre in Los Angeles We're still seeing a if people are coming out to shows, B, if we can take some of that money and donate it to a cause that can help people that lost stuff in the fires. But March 2nd, I'm gonna be at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, shout out Cobbs Comedy Club.

I'm gonna be in San Francisco at Palace of Fine Arts March 2nd. So danceholder.com for tickets. Most importantly. Don't keep going under the camera. Don't do that. It's crazy. The casuals. Just casuals.

Not the, why did I put the- It's wild. It's a wild choice. I've been there since you came up with the name. Casuals, go listen to it. It's very funny. Brought to you by SiriusXM. So Katie went and got a work badge.

Okay, but it's, oh, I don't have it on me. I took it off. But I'm not, but it's not a serious XM show. It's very confusing. Cause people are like, you gotta pay for that. I'm like, not their podcasts. I don't get it either to be clear. Yeah.

It's just, they're helping me launch it. It's a partnership. Yeah. That's a partnership of they're helping produce it for the first year, but it's your podcast. Yes. It is not a serious XM show. It is just that, but she does have a serious XM work badge, which does feel weird.

Seeing it on the counter and being like, I had one, do you want me to put mine next year's? And when I had to go to 1221 to like do stuff to prep for the podcast, and I would run into like Jay and Christine coming in and I was like, hey guys. I first saw Jacob and Jacob was like, what are you doing here?

And he just looked at me like when you see a teacher at the mall and you're like, out of context, why? And I was like, hi, I have a podcast here. Yeah. You just looked at me like when you see a teacher at the mall and you're like, out of context, why? And I was like, hi, I have a podcast here. And I think he genuinely went like, okay. And gave me a hug. You should fuck with people and go, I made him leave so I could have it all to myself. We can't be in the same place. I can't. I move, you know, in the shadows, people think I'm a sweetie, but actually not watching. I'm coming for everything you have. It all timed out. It is very funny though. Then come see me on tour as a standup comic. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Full heel turn, full heel turn. She's like, I don't care. You would have had to have

cheated on me or died. Those are the only two ways that ever happens. If I die, grab, I'll just tell your jokes. I'll just do what I stopped myself from doing on my podcast. Grab that bullet notebook. Cause there's like nine bangers in there and then just fucking... I'll stop worrying about stepping on them because they'll all be mine now. Yeah, and she goes, oh, I can run in the field, free, fancy free, casuals. Go download it. If you want to, honestly, just like hit subscribe and then like later unsubscribe. And also, comment section, is returning a dog within two weeks, okay.

I don't know why you're making this happen because now Trish is gonna hate it even more because their comments are gonna be about her. But really quick on casuals, one last thing. I talked to like iTunes and I was like, hey, if people wanna give me a one star review, should they click, which one star do they click? And they said the one all the way on the right. Okay. So if you wanna give a one star review. Should they click? Which one star do they click? And they said the one all the way on the right.

So if you want to give a one star review all the way to the right, all the way, it's like kind of, it's like, um, Hebrew, you read the other way. So to hit the one star and they're all going to light up yellow. Don't worry about that. It's a bug. Hit the one star. That's right. Right. Great. And then that's it. You don't even have to comment. No, you you do not need to tell me what you think. I already know casual. Now what's happening. You've now twice have to comment. No, you do not need to tell me what you think. I already know. Casual. Now what's happening, you've now twice said it wrong.

It's casuals. It's not the casuals and it's not casual. It's casuals. Casualize. Relax. Check out her new podcast, Relaxation. That's not even what it's called.