Soder - 72: Mean Smart Loser with Matthew Broussard | Soder Podcast | EP 70

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

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I am at the funny bone in Richmond, Virginia April 4th and 5th can do four shows in Richmond, Virginia I think it's called short pump, but it's it's the funny bone. I love that club It's very fun And I'm bringing Brendan Sagalow with me and then if you are in Spokane Spokane, Washington last time I was there you gave me a horrific case of food poisoning I had to fight fighting off sweats and throwing up. Guess what? This time, I'm not eating your shit Caesar salad.

That's right, I'm only eating stuff that won't make me sick because I want to enjoy my time in Spokane. And I'm not like these east coast comics that call it Spokane or blah blah blah. It's Spokane Washington and I respect you. I'm gonna be at the Spokane Comedy Club May 1st through the 3rd five shows one Thursday two Friday two Saturday Spokane Comedy Club May 1st through the 3rd dansoater.com for tickets. That's what we do with that's why we cut the mics. That's why they're back on. You

guys just missed 30 minutes of just absolutely. There might be a time, if I get like a terminal illness of anything, I might just start doing a podcast where I have people talk shit and I go, none of this is being recorded. And then I go, and then I just go, by the way, we're releasing that. And so I would, I would get your affairs. I recorded all of it. That was all recorded now, a word from our sponsors. Yeah. You go, you go, dude, that's crazy to me.

She gives you the podcast. It's been like 45 minutes ago. Oh, my brother in Christ. We're in it. Buddy, buddy, buddy. That would be the ultimate move where you go, just make some phone calls before this episode. That's I might do. That's how people are going to know I'm dying of an

illness. If I just come with the fucking heat, I just bring in all these people and be like, what do you really think of them? And they're like, this is a recording, right? You go, I killed them. I killed them all. That's how you spell Beverly. But I'm fascinated talking to swimmers as someone that wasn't, he wasn't my dad. We didn't have a good relationship. I'm sorry.

But he was phenomenal at swimming. And so there was pride. It's crazy to have pride in a person that you don't like. Really? You're proud of him for being a good swimmer? He was awesome, dude. He swam in college collegiately. Uh huh. I think the junior Olympics. Uh huh. So he was really good. And then he got back into it. That might not mean really good. Laura, my fiance, would be like, oh no, he's mad. Oh really? She's

also like, she was like a national champion. She was incredible. She was one second off the American record. She was silver at world, like really, really good. Maybe the best athlete you know. So that's like if you played just any other sport and then your wife was like a hall of famer where she's like, well, yeah, I consider myself a bad swimmer. Yeah. Yeah. I was not.

I think to the layman to the regular person. Sure. Yes. You would crush them. It's a lot like stand up in in that very very few people have even Proficiency at it and if your friend can actually do stand-up and get laughs and not bomb locally. You're like, oh that guy's a comedian You know him and you're like, yeah, but he's not like a master of the craft. She's not like, yeah Oh, I heard about your friend Eric. Yes. He did three gifts. It's and got two laughs. Yeah

He did three gif sets and got two laughs. Yeah. Everybody's talking about him. Honestly, you know, Chappelle would do that. He's very supportive of young talent. If you haven't noticed. That was my brain when I was coming up that that, that like sitcom moment was going to happen where Dave Chappelle was going to be like,

my bus broke down and I came into laughs in Tucson. Who is this white kid on stage? And I was just going to oversize the Dita shirt. That's so fun. But it doesn't happen like that. Instead, you have to do sexual favors with the industry. For the industry. It's like doing it for men's bad, but doing it for the women's much worse.

I mean, dude, the industry is just taking a beating on every fucking there is like, it's, this is how bad the entertainment business is right now. We'll get back to swimming, but the entertainment business is right now we'll get back to swimming but the entertainment business is so bad that there is a legitimate part of me that feels bad for all these people that worked that told me no my whole career i feel bad for them now because shit's just caving in on them yeah and they're just like well we're probably gonna green light sign it's just like rocks falling down on desks.

The gatekeepers? Yeah. I missed them. I think I was a little gatekeeper darling. I had a lot of doors open for me. I think you were as well. We had, I had Conan. I had new faces.

I had a half hour. Comedy Central? Yeah, Comedy Central was very nice to me. Here's what I'll say about Comedy Central and the gatekeepers. It was like almost like a, a love. You could level up. You saw how you leveled up. You're like, if I did live at Gotham, I would then get a half hour. My half hour was good. Right.

I would get an hour. That used to be a thing. But then you realized that cause I did an hour with Comedy Central and they aired it twice. Yeah. In the age of the stream. They were like, Comedy Central Hour. But then you realize that, because I did an hour with Comedy Central, and they aired it twice. Yeah. In the age of the stream, they were like, great. Yeah. But there was still this like, I do this, I do this, and then I do this, whereas now you go like one joke,

and they're like, Carly Rae Jepsen retweeted it. It's like, you're gonna wanna check your inbox. Are you sitting down? Yeah, you just sold out the Rose Bowl and you're like, oh fuck, that's why when people were so mean to like these guys that got influx of like Matt Reif specifically caught a lot of shit,

but there were like a lot of people where you go, I don't think that's much is him as it was just like, we've all been trying to find a vein of gold and then someone found a giant vein of gold and you were like, he doesn't even deserve it. He doesn't know how to mine. Yeah. He's not up in the hills.

I, he did work. Yeah. A different thing is the gatekeepers. I didn't understand their role and I knew they would keep people out if they were inexperienced or hacky. And what I didn't realize is they were keeping the hacky people out knowing they would be successful. Yeah.

That blows my mind. That's I didn't even think of that. I think about it all because the people who got through have gotten through recently, who've gotten to massive success. I'm like, there's no way I'll fucking say, no, I won't name them, but there's no way a specific Comedy Central exec, we know when we go, this needs to be on TV. They'd be like, I've heard every one of these jokes before there's nothing original happening

here. It makes my ears bleed. I don't care how loud the crowd is laughing. And then those people just happen to put their clips, their own clips on Tik Tok and they're like arena comics. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean that really was, there were like, the gate. I never thought about the gatekeepers going like, no, no, that would work. I'm not protecting you for the, I'm protecting them from you. You're locked in here with me thinking like, I didn't even think about it.

They're like, this could do grave harm. Yes. It was released. And then it just got released this bio weapon spread like a plague. It really is. The way they talk about it, it's viral, like infected everything. And you're like, Oh fuck. But killing in states, different states. That's always why I've, I've always loved sports is because even with meritocracy, there really is this thing of like they put in the work,

that natural talent that got to where it is. There was like, now granted, if you're like a football fan, and you hate the Kansas city chiefs, like a guy like me, you could go, well, they just throw flags. And like, they give them another chance. And they're like, they'll give them homes. You know, he'll get tackled. And they'll be like, you know what, that was rough in the passer. And if you're watching football, you're like, that's unfair, but he's still

completing passes, driving down the field and scoring touchdowns. And I think that's going to be something that like young generations have no idea. It used to be a thing where it's like, Oh no, no, no, no. You had to be like good to move forward. I do feel a lot of comfort lately in that, um, an efficient market does sort things out. I think the last five, maybe a little more years, there were people who were getting rewards for being the first to the pasture, I guess.

It's mining, it's mining, dude. We're just able to put out, a lot of people do that. There's a new platform. They find the optimal length and the optimal thing. Or do you think that's just a market correction? Do you think people are like, there's too much crowd work? That too. A market correction also does push.

I still think good crowd work is fantastic. Yeah. I mean, big Jay is putting out a crowd work special, um, on YouTube. And he's like, he showed it to me and I was like, Oh, this is phenomenal. Show people how it's done. This is phenomenal. I'm a big fan of good people putting out good work. When you were swimming, did you have like a moment where you saw someone that was so good that you're like, oh, I just suck

I started bad. Okay, and I was so motivated by how bad I was I just couldn't swim You're drowning in the pool like this guy has zero talent I could get up. I mean obviously I could get across the pool But I was a decent runner and when I came to swimming I thought it would translate but then the thing that's very demoralizing about swimming is that age, size and gender are much less of a factor, um, against, uh, just basic proficiency. It's almost like speaking a language. If you learned it,

young, you'll always know it. And if you, if you didn't learn it young, you'll always be catching up. But I got in the pool, my first practice, and I had, there were six lanes and I swam the slowest lanes with, um, overweight women. And my, my, my ego couldn't take that. And they were, they were blasting me cause they had good, they had good efficiency in good form. And I just wanted to swim. The next thing you do like actually how to learn how to swim fast,

not just like swim correctly. Yeah. Because most people get a click for you never fully clicked just slowly over the course of five years, I built up to a point where like I could have been a, I probably could have been a low end walk on, on a D3 team and it would have been like, there's D3, there's a lot of range in D3. Sure, sure, sure, sure. But like.

It's still impressive. Krista Stefano's a two time D3 All-American in basketball. Really? That's fucking crazy. That's basketball. Basketball's competitive. Not so many people swim as basketball. The swim world, here's the thing about a sport like swimming.

It is its own world. Football bleeds onto stuff. Baseball bleeds onto stuff. Basketball bleeds onto stuff. Year round. Swimming's year round. You have to go. It's something that you go into a world and find that I had zero

idea about when I was a kid. And then my mom started dating Joe and we were like, we've got to go to these swim meets. I was like, what the fuck you mean? I never had to sit at a pool. I always got to swim in the pool. Yeah. No, I didn't. You show up and you're like, what the fuck you mean? I got to just sit here and watch. Yeah. And it's old dudes. I get mad at people like go to pools leisurely. I'm like, no, purple lane.

This is for exercise. That's like people who give wedding speeches. I go to bits. You can't just be talking. You should do bits. Um, but it is a thing you can't dabble in. It's just so hard. You have to also like stand up. You have to do it every day for years and years. How early were you going to the pool? Oh, in college I did six AMs. Waking up to work out. Even awful adults that do it. I'm like,

and I know people are like, it's better than a cup of coffee waking up and running seven. I'm like, how? No, I get up at nine AM and I'm like, my day's worse. If I, if I work out that, that kind of workout, six AM swim, I'm going to have a worst day because of it. Do you still swim? Yes. Every day, two, three days a week. And I just, I just work on form now. You wear a cap. I have to. Yes. Yeah. Cause do you feel the drag of your hair? No, no, they just make me at the pool. Oh really? Yeah. Do like that. Fucking lock. They're like those locks.

You're gonna clog up the drain. They make you toss it on. Hey cowboy, throw on a rubber. We're not fucking cleaning up your hair. Where did you grow up? I grew up in a Corpus Christi, Texas in Atlanta, Georgia. No shit. You, can I tell you something? You strike me as more Connecticut, Connecticut, New England white, then Texas, Georgia. My dad was a Cajun white trash and was very ashamed of us and raised us to be very, um, professorial and speech.

No way. Uh, he was kind of, his whole arc was getting away from the bayou. So your dad was like, don't you get in that water? Is that your bio? Is that your bio? You go, I want to swim daddy goes, no son of mine going to get in the water with the gators and all the clapping. That's so funny.

He spoke like me, no hint of an accident. He had one as a kid, he dropped it and his brothers kept it. He was just, he just didn't get along with that part of the world. Sure. He was a very educated man, very smart man, possibly Asperger's, just a very, just like very serious, like could spend 10 hours on working on a spreadsheet and while you all about it. Um, and it was, it was a chemist. So it's an intense guy. Uh, when he was focused, he was a

sweetheart. He wasn't like, he was, he was a really nice, loving, warm guy, but and a chemist, a chemist. You had a very intelligent father. He was very smart. He had 20 patents to his name. He was a smart guy, yeah. Is that intimidating? It was just normal to me. I would like, it was just how I was raised. You have any siblings? I have an older brother. How older?

Five years. Okay, so- He's an engineer. We were all just, my mom was a master's microbiology. So we were just, it was just our thing. We were just, school is the thing you do. You work hard in school and you get a good job and that's how life goes. Your family would rip at trivia. You ever think about putting a

band together? Yeah. Am I going on fucking family feud and watching Harvey bleed out of his ears? He's like, now you do what? That is so fucking crazy. That's a very smart family. I think it's like my mom was well educated. But my dad's family was like, she rich. No, you're poor, right? No, I didn't grow up poor. I grew up, fucking right in the middle class. Suburban. I mean, the thing that I feel bad that I don't know how many younger generations are going to have it, but just like single mom, you could live in the suburbs.

That's interesting. You know, I don't, I don't, I think there was a fear of money, but she did a good job hiding it for the most part. When you're, when you have a single mom, um, sometimes you see the crack, you'll see them crack cause they're people and they're just like, it's just a lot. That's it's like, you know, uh, you know that meme of that black lady outside the fast food with her hands, like it's like a famous picture on the internet people use it for a meme But it's like a lady on break at like a Wendy's and and you're like you see that

When you have a single parent because they're just like there's no tagging out They just got to do the whole thing So I would see moments like that where I would you know, just be like a little kid and be like I want this I want this and my mom's like where the fuck you think we're getting this money kid and be like, I want this, I want this. And my mom's like, where the fuck you think we're getting this money? Like you become aware of money very young. And how many siblings? I didn't have any growing up. I had an older half sister, my dad's first kid, but I grew up an only child pretty much. Your dad bounce, right? Yeah. Five gone. They broke up. So that's why I always did.

But my dad was smart in the way that bartenders are smart. Yes. Trivia smart. He was, he was like, amazing. Like when I'd visit him, we'd watch Jeopardy. And I'd be like, well, the fucker go on this show. What are you doing? But he was just a guy that like, um, like to read and get fucked up. And that was like it. What'd your mom study? Uh, my mom was like, I don't know what my mom studied in college. I actually generally, I think she was like a theater major. But my mom worked in insurance. My mom was like one of those people where that old school

work, even if it sucks, you work and then you work more. And she was like, I worked. So everything was based around work. But my mom was very conscious of that. And so she was like raising me. She was like, I worked. So everything was like based around work. But my mom was very conscious of that. And so she always, when she was like raising me, she was like, would really stress, like do what you love. Like if you can find what you love and you're able to do it, you'll be all right.

Well, that was like a very important lesson. We had the opposite. Really? Yes. Your parents were like, eat your vegetables. It'll be good for you. My parents were like, you're not going to, if it's fun

You're not gonna make money doing it. I really truly Like you're not handsome enough to be a model or an actor You're not charming enough to really make it in all that disagree disagree. Thank you. I appreciate it And knowing you're walking around in a speedo all confident Absolutely, you could model I would swim in a wrestling singlet My body issues. Like an Olympian from the 1920s. Why this thing's made out of wool. And it almost dragged me to the bottom of the pool.

Like Johnny Weiss Mueller. That's a reference you should look up. Yeah, dude. One of the original Olympians. That's right. So your parents were like, if it's fun, you can't... I was good at math, not to be immodest. I showed early, it is immodest, sorry, but I showed early aptitude.

I showed skill for that very early. And it was a thing I also really liked that happened to really enjoy math. How far along in math did you get? I went to, it was my degree, so I learned. You got a degree in mathematics? Applied math, yeah. No fucking way.

This is like, I just, you should, that showed how stupid I am. Cause I'm genuinely like, what you can fucking number. I'm so bad at math. I think like understanding math conceptually, I probably stopped at geometry, really like algebra geometry. And then I was like drugs. And then I was like, Oh, I get fucked up. I, I swear to God you were taught poorly is the truth of it. And we still don't know how to teach math. Well,

math is in a certain place. Math has progressed to its point, but math education, it's just people who are good at math, lack social aptitude generally. And when you're good at math, you, you, your brain offloads a lot of the processing and ways you aren't even conscious of. And you can't help people understand that part because really good repetitions go, I don't know. I've just, it just exists in my head already in that form and I can't get you there.

Yeah. It feels like one of those, um, those pictures where you relax your eyes and you see it. Yes, very much. And, uh, I could never do those. I felt like mall rats where I was like, I can't fucking see the thing. I'm just like, I can't say it. I do. I would get so frustrated, but I remember and you said, and I don't disagree that it's poor. It's taught poorly. Yes. I will take some of the blame. And I want to apologize to Mr. Gomez in

your second period, my junior year, brought a lot of fader aids to school, pop a little vodka in a Gatorade, get a little hot chest for a third and fourth period. But I was a horrible student because I, by the time I was 16, I was just like, I liked reading, but I didn't like anything else. I was just kind of like, I fucking why am I math? Are you a big reader? Yeah. I'm bad at reading. Really? Yeah. You do. What do you mean? You're, you're bad at concentrating on it. Yes. It's very hard. I was always a little behind in reading. I was in remedial reading. No shit. By the end of high school, I was doing well on like the verbal section, just because it was where I needed to put in the work of the SAT. But, um,

having academic parents like that, did they tell you like, put in your reading work? One of the hardest parts of my childhood, which admittedly was a very easy childhood was my parents being like, why aren't you fucking reading? Just go read, just go read. Why can't you read? I would sit down to read and you just, I have that thing that a lot of people have, I think maybe it's ADD, but I just, I examine each word and process each word,

but they don't turn into sentences and sentences don't turn into paragraphs. And I finished maybe it's ADD, but I just, I examine each word and process each word, but they don't turn into sentences and sentences don't turn into paragraphs. And I finished a chapter and I'm like, I wasn't even there for that. My brain was somewhere else. Yeah, I would say the, uh, both my parents are huge readers, love reading my dad, uh, my grandmother, but my mom, my mom very, uh, quickly was like, here's what we're going do. Every summer I want you to read two classics. You can pick them, but I have to approve them,

and you're just gonna read them. And I hated it. I fucking hated it. I was like 10 years old, and my mom was making me read Old Man in the Sea. Why, why do we do that? Why not just like a Dan Brown book? Yeah.

Why not Harry Potter? Well, anything is good. It did help because I got through Old man in the sea and I read one other one and then I myself I loved Jurassic Park I was 10 when it came out the movie Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic World and that was like a book that I remember bringing with me on the bus Like reading excitedly a thick boy. Yeah, but I loved it because it was almost like it broke through to me that I was like a book that I remember bringing with me on the bus, like reading excitedly. Yeah. But I loved it. Cause it was almost like, it broke through to me that I was like, Oh, this is kind of like a movie in my brain, little brain movie.

That was like for me, I was like, I'm going to do my little brain movie. And now, uh, and then when I was in college and shit, I loved reading nonfiction because I think I lacked a lot of self esteem and I, uh, I liked reading biographies about people like figuring themselves out and all this shit and then so but reading to me always was like a thing of like well yeah just like you just read but math I couldn't get it. That was hard. It's crazy because it's almost the exact way you described reading was how I felt about math. I'd be like well that's a. I don't know why it's over that X.

I don't know what that fucking lines got to do with it, but I got to solve for this thing. And I just, I couldn't do it. There's, there's a process with match math, which, cause I keep, I keep, I try to keep learning more. Why not? Do you do like math problems? I, uh, like the way I read like a Stephen King book, are you like, I'm going to fucking run through this multiplication table.

Oh, fuck. Fuck. I'm ripping. Going so fast. 677. Watch me go. But do you do you like do you get like difficult math problems and solve them? I get a little bit. I get problems in my head that I want to work out.

They'll take and I'll sometimes I'll try to like see if I can do it myself and it'll maybe take weeks or months to figure out and I'll just kind of think about it casually. And then sometimes I'll sit down when I get stumped with it. I'll just try to sit down and figure it out. And there's like, when you figured it out, is it the best feeling in the world? Is it? Well, it's the joy of where I am, when it happened. It's the joy of like finishing a book and being like,

it's better than that by a lot. Really? It's actually cracking a math problem. I don't know if you've ever read East of Eden. That heading is Steinbeck is a master. But yeah, it's, I could imagine it be like solving, um, it'd be like, like those Dan Brown books, probably are the books that you would love because there are puzzles and like problems in it. What do you read now? I don't know how to cook.

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going through a Stephen King phase so like hated the stand I never read the stand it took three and a half months out of my life I tried to read a book a month and I was like this ruined my year now we're gonna blow not gonna hit 12 yeah I mean I did I did a big a month and I was like, this ruined my year. Now we're going to both not going to hit 12. Yeah. I mean, I did, I did a big dog that took me like seven months to get through. And it was, I honestly, as a reader, it wasn't even fun, but I read Dante's divine comedy. And I did the whole thing and it's a fucking gnarly. Yeah.

You get through it and you go like, I'll take anything. And I wanted something fun in St. Germain who loves to read was like, uh, I've never read Stephen King. I'm kind of a scared, I'm like a bitch. I like it scared about stuff. Really. Uh, even big Jay would make fun of me cause he's like, you don't watch horror movies. I'm like, I get very scared. Uh, but Saint Germain was like, he recommends stuff in ways that you're, it's like a, a stage would at like the corner of a bar where he's like you never read that you

never lived but he was like Salem's lot from Stephen King it's phenomenal and so I just bought it on Amazon doing like whatever and I fucking ripped through it yeah the vampires yeah yeah so good thousand pages uh no it was like 600 okay and then I turned around and read The Shining uh-huh we were driving to Yeah, so good. Thousand pages? No, it was like 600, I think. And then I turned around and read The Shining.

We were driving to Colorado, and you're like, well, I might be going crazy. I've gone there so many times, that hotel. We go there as a family. The Stanley? Yeah. You guys really go? My mom worked there in college.

Oh, really? Yeah, my mom was a waitress. We go to Estes Park as a family every year. And we go to, yeah. The Stanley Hotel, which that's what it's based on. Stephen King stayed there with his wife and it's haunted. Do you not believe in ghosts? No.

At all. You got math brain. Yeah. It doesn't compute. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Reader brain.

Book brain. Book brain will tell you ghosts are energy that are trapped. Do you read sci-fi? No, not really. I really was like non-fiction. I liked history books for a while, but I'm just the Stephen King phase is very fun. It's very spooky. I finished The Shining. I'm onto Doctor Sleep, the sequel. And then I'm going to... How long does it take you to finish a book? About a month. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm not one of those people. Yeah. Yeah. I do. Those people at the end of the year where they go online and they go, Uh, about a month. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm not one of those people. Yeah. Yeah. I do. Those people at the end of the year where they go online and they go,

these are the 70 books that these are my top 50. You're like, top 50. Here's my top 10. The six I read plus four of those again. Yeah. I think it's, um, I had a doctor tell me it's much better for your sleep if you read before you go to bed instead of looking at your phone. Cause your eyes, uh, relax in a different way of looking at your phone. Because your eyes relax in a different way than looking at your screen because of the blue light. So you like if you-

Sitting there in a room and your face is the only thing. I mean dude, I do a thing where I wake up and look at my phone and I'm like, I'll catch myself and be like, what are you doing? I really have to put limits on it. Because I read the wrong comments and like the whole day is fucked. My socks haven't even hit the hardwood yet.

When you're a public person, when you have a podcast, when you have a, when you're an influencer or a comedian or an actor or something and you're in the public and you make stuff that people critique, which everything now is critiqued. Everything now is critiqued and very publicly, there's always this thing of, well, don't read the comments. And you go, yes, of course. Curiosity is so much more powerful than you have any idea. If you knew someone was talking about you in another room and you could go here, just listen to it. Most people would. I wouldn't. But that's what comments are. I'm so fragile. I don't read comments.

Oh, so you're like, I'm really fragile. It would ruin my day. And I know that about myself. I don't go into the waters. I don't go deep into the water. Sure. But I, I'd like to read the top first five or whatever. I have read comments. I've read critical comments that I think are meant to be mean. And I'll tell you this, found them helpful.

Really? Yeah. Like what? Well, number one, I've been actively trying to listen to you instead of barging over your sentences with my jokes. I agree the same. Look at, fuck it, us. This new, welcome to our new podcast, White Men Listening. Ah!

Ah! Ah! I'm sorry, you were saying? Yeah, there's just women right now, they're like, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, put it on, put it on. Look at those big ears. Oh my God, they're taking all the sentences in.

He repeated what he said back to him? But in a comprehensive way, like he comprehended it. Yeah, I just, there are, there's this age of like going all those just haters or whatever there are there are people that like dude if I fucking if I had a job that I hated and I was in a relationship that I hated and I watched the Amount of comedians that are on podcasts going then I gotta go on the road then my hotels not ready. I would be like Fucking die in a fire. fire. I understand that hate. Well, there, there are some people that just want to hurt you. And sometimes you roll over in bed and you open Instagram and you go like,

notifications. And someone's like, this guy just sucks. And you go like, I didn't have a good set. And I think you're right. Yeah. You just roll over. You're not looking at your phone anymore, but that is in your head. And you're going like, you suck. Six N D sinks into you. I have you ever seen some that are so mean that you're like, Oh dude, that doesn't even bother me. You're like, there's not even a fair critique. There's some that I'm like, this is, this is in itself very funny.

Yeah. The model one's hurt more. I want to find this person and go like, this is a good joke. I know you're aiming a gun at my head. It's like someone putting a gun at your head and you taking it and going like, it's a good gun. All right, back at it. Yeah.

I saw a comment today that was just like, was waiting for it to be funny. And I was like, yeah. And then I realized it was on a different video that I know was funny. And I was like, nah. Yeah. It changed when you are,

sometimes you want it to be bad. Something you put something out and you want people to confirm that it's not good. Cause you know, your heart knows it's not good. Your critical, the question I had about your math brain is confirm that it's not good because you know your heart, no, you're, you're, you're critical. I, the question I had about your math brain is that's gotta be good for joke writing. Yes. Because you just go like, like I'm, when it can, when it can, when time goes, yeah, you're, he described my comedy to me in a way that I was like, Oh,

that makes so much sense. He's like, yeah, you're like, uh, you're, uh, emotional. Like all your jokes are like emotional reactions. And I was like, Oh, you're like, you're emotional. Like all your jokes are like emotional reactions. And I was like, oh, I'm a bitch. And I was like, no, but when he said that, I was like, it was so succinct that I was like, that I play from the, I like, that's how my writing process is. If something happens to me, those are the comics I love,

like Bill Burr, Louie, I would say is a little like that, but he's also got math brain. Yeah. But I think the part of my writing that is hard for me is the math part is going like this. I got this and I have this. What's this in this? Meaning like in terms of just the words and the... I kind of know what the premise is. I know what the premise is. And I kind of know where I want to go with it Mm-hmm. How do I get there? I feel like if I had a math brain it would go like well then X solves for this and I I

Seinfeld is someone here talk about comedy. I'm like on my best days That is how I like to think about it is you just test a hypothesis and you get laughter or you don't and you rewrite it Based on that sure and if you take your feelings out of that, you can get pretty far. Um, but one problem I had for the first maybe seven years of comedy was I thought my only task, my only goal is to write perfect jokes about, um, honestly, inconsequential things. I liked, I liked the minutia. I really liked Gary Goldman. He probably knows that if he listens to my, uh, material, but just that perfection of material.

The state abbreviation joke is something that's the best. It's the best late night set ever. When he brought it back, I've been a huge fan of Goldman and his writing. I mean the entire dome of comedy, but Joe List used to open for Gary. When we, when I first moved to the city in 07, uh, and S and Gary and Joe both moved in New York at the same time. Joe List was very much like, you got to watch this guy because it's like, it's crafted. It's much deeper. And then when he brought that joke back, List was like, this was an old joke that he did that he has perfected. Seven years. Yeah. Seven years from inception to Conan. And I watched it,

him run it at the cellar and I was like, Oh, this is, this is perfect. Like there's no, there's no wiggle room on anything. Everything is done. Michelle Wolf writes like that. Michelle Wolf writes where there's like, uh, there's nothing, there's no waste. It's just hopscotch from punchline to punchline. Yeah. List is like that too. List is it's, it's upsetting how good his writing is and how prolific he is. But what I was lacking for my first seven years was not thinking I didn't need to ground my jokes in something emotional. And I think every joke with a couple exceptions, it's so much

better when a joke starts. I was scared because I felt stupid because yeah. And I've learned to like really lean on experiences when I had that feeling of being insufficient. I think it's a connection. I think by doing that you connect. You make people feel less alone. Yeah, and you know, there's been times where I think I've gone up on stage and not even had a joke, but just been like,

this happened, just like vomited out of my face. That'll get a laugh. And you go, I wasn't even kind of going for a laugh on that, but I puked it out. They're laughing because your suffering makes them feel better about their own lives. Yeah. And that's great. Yeah. That's why comics can never be cool and we can never be, you can't be cool or sexy. Why are people being so cool now?

Because being cool right now is everyone's a commercial now. Yeah. Everyone is like, everyone is good marketing. Everyone is like, that's what comedy and music, because I saw sales clothes vulnerable doesn't sell Levi's. Yeah. You know, I think, yeah, it does. Our honesty where you go like that joke's not that good. They go like, oh, then I don't want to walk. But if they go like, this joke's gonna blow your fucking mind,

then they go, oh no, am I in trouble? And you go, maybe, but hop on my back and I'll take you to the set. And you go, no man, this shit. And I said, you're racist and everyone cheered for me. This one guy goes, guys, deodorant, do you stink? Who knows, I can't smell. So I have to make sure I don't stink. Because if I stink, probably not anyone's going to tell me and then I'm just going

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Cause you go like, well, I'm going to have more time to figure these out. So I might have stuff in it that like makes the whole joke move faster. Right. But I'm not going to have like a whole new fucking hour because that's not going to be tested in like a, it's not going to be kid tested and mother approved, you know, like kicks. And it's also that last 20%. If you're 80% there on a joke,

that last 20% doubles the quality of the joke it immediately I had bits that I liked that really didn't work and then you figure out a punchline and you're like, it's a spark plug Yeah, put it in you go. Oh, that's Revin that fucking goes. Yeah, and that's fun That's the whole that's the fun part of any creative endeavor is having that Mathematic brain where you go because I I think is having that mathematic brain where you go. Cause I, I think to echo what you said exactly is I was too emotional when I started. I would just come out and go like, I feel like this and I feel like this and fucking I feel like this,

but I didn't have any like, but I didn't have like, that's a joke. That goes into that joke. That goes into that joke. And the better I got, the more I realized like you can have an emotion, but it better come hand-in-hand with a bit and that's what's a joke That's what's so satisfying is that the kind of back and forth between you know, it's it's pseudoscientific, but left and right brain Yeah, something that's technically very sound and satisfyingly systemized and here is something that's raw and human. Yeah and and Not perfect in its shape. There's people like that.

And that's why to say that comedians are the funniest people on earth is such a big mistake because I think a lot of funny is based on emotion and connecting with people and getting authenticity and authenticity. And that's why construction crews will always be the funniest. Like blue collar workers will always be funnier. And people that have suffered will always be much funnier. Like a rich, a fifth generation wealthy kid has a tough time being funny unless you're gonna go like absurdist. Unless you're gonna go like my rent's covered.

So now I'm gonna wear a Spider-Man costume with the butt cheeks cut out. And you're like and I'm bussy man and you're like okay why can you do that he goes well I tried it and my rent's been paid and you're like I understand that. Busy hall at Union Hall all week. Go check out Busy Man, the amazing Busy Man. But I used to really, I think I was really jealous of kids like that because I wanted to be absurdist and I wanted to be a little weird.

And I was scared because my mom was like, dude, once you're 18, this is fucking done. You're on your own. And that's terrifying. Cause it was like, well, I gotta eat and live and do shit. And I wanna be a comedian. Did your parents get mad do shit, and I want to be a comedian. Did your parents get mad when you told them you wanted to be a comedian?

They didn't like it. That is a- I was very practical about it where I said, I'm not quitting my job until I have a full-time salary as a comedian. Really? And I meant that for myself more than for me. I truly wanted to, I was on, I had, I was,

I was a financial analyst when I did my first Comedy Central set and I talked about it because I was so proud that I didn't have to make this my life. I thought I was like, I always felt I was funnier when I wasn't a professional comedian, when I was just doing it as a side thing. Yeah, because it's like making love to your wife versus doing porn.

Yeah. Where after a while, I don't care, porn has to become a job. I know they're fucking, but after like, if you wanna do it as a career, it becomes a point where you go like, Oh, another double blow job. And then you're like, at the end of the day, you're smoking a cigarette. You go, can't a guy just joke around with a girl?

But I was like fourth tier in high school. Like I was the fourth or fifth tier of my group of friends to get the girl. Oh, okay. They had to drop in the draft significantly. Had to have a poor showing of something and I'd be like, we'll draft her. We'll take her with the 17th pick in the first round. But you were the Cornell of the Ivy League. Yeah, they were like, I'll go to Cornell. I was a safety school. But I think like being funny raised that immediately where they're like, as you get older and you realize you want certain traits in a partner, I think being funny was like, it exponentially grew as I got older. It was like, oh shit, it was, yeah, I got percentage on it as

it kept growing. They're like, oh, this is more fun than like a dude with abs We're in our I'm in my 40s now if he's got abs. He's got to put so much time into it It's so much work. I smoke a half a bowl. I'm a fucking dude. I'll rip for three hours Yeah, I can't fuck all night, but I will make fun of a bad movie Until your hips are sore. There is an optimum that is very, very far away from that like Zac Efron body. I don't think that's a really practical thing. Oh, yeah.

I don't think women are really into that. I also think. Luigi Mangione, he could fuck everyone in the country right now. Oh my God, he could just come and like touch your chin and you'd be like, you'd follow. Yeah. Like under your chin, you'd be like,

you had like a smell in a cartoon. You're like, oh, I'm yours. But when you told your, I mean, you were a financial analyst. cartoon you're like I'm yours but when you told your I mean you were a financial Analyst so you're making that sounds fancy. No, I was making a teacher salary. I was making forty six thousand dollars a year We're at in Houston For like one guy what where'd you what Mike's did you start going to I went to? What was it called? It was the Laugh Stop, originally. It was that same room. Yeah, Bill Hicks.

Bill Hicks, Louis CK, recorded album Dane Cook, Mitch Hadberg, all recorded albums in my room. That was my first, yeah, that was my first open. That was like when Kinnison and Hicks were friends, right? Or like close was Laugh Stop in Houston. Could be, yeah. Cause that's like a legendary, like legendary. Now it's a condo.

Is it really? Yeah, I went back there. That's like how legendary, like now it's a condo. Is it really? Yeah. That's like how the original improv is an Italian restaurant. I'm really fifth. I went back like Charlton Heston at the end of plant of the apes when he sees what you do, blew it up. You blew it all up. That is cool though that that's, I mean, that's like a legendary place to start. It was cool. I didn't understand it at the time. I had no I didn't know like I wasn't I knew comedy But I wasn't one of those people who like studied it for years before they started. I just just like that seems really cool

I'm gonna go next week. That's the way to get into it. I was I was I Put it too much. I want a pedestal. Yeah, people do that. I was a giant comedy fan from the time. I was like Ten on that give you like a little performance anxiety for actually starting. Yeah, dude. I. I was a giant comedy fan from the time I was like 10 on. That gives you like a little performance anxiety for actually starting. Yeah, dude, I'll tell you what, I'm kind of nervous about doing Palace of the Fine Arts in San Francisco

because that's where Dana Carvey taped Critics' Choice in 1995. And that's like one of my favorite all-time specials. I would say that probably influenced me to being a stand-up comic more than anything. That and Killing Him Softly softly from Chappelle in 2000. My answer would disappoint you as to mine. Well, I don't care. What is it?

Donald Glover's half hour. Great. Donald Glover's comedy such half hour is phenomenal. Yes. Donald Glover. Our wasn't as strong, but the half hour was really good. He was super funny. He is the reason the creek in the cave does comedy. Did you ever laugh with him? No, he was before me.

He was writing on 30 rock when I started doing mics at. So him, his sketch group, Derek, would do shows at the Creek and the Cave. They, it was like a music space. Rebecca just bought it, I think. If I'm telling this wrong, Rebecca, I apologize. And then Timmy from the White is Kids You Know, him and John F. O'Donnell started a open mic

called Kingdom of Heaven. And it was insane. It was right when I moved to New York and I went there and I'm not lying when I say the lineup was Rory Scovel, Kumail Nanjiani, Joe Mandi, Mark Norman, me, Joe List, Dan St. Germain, Mike Lawrence, like Dan Bolger from Boston. I know Dan, Dan's a monster.

Yeah, so there was like all these people and you would just go watch these people and be like, oh, I need to work on this. And it was very fun. It was in, and it wasn't like, Oh, I, I need to work on this. And it was very fun. It was in and it was wasn't like they weren't doing regular comedy shows. They're just doing that mic. And then Rebecca was like, we're gonna do comedy. And then it became literally a clubhouse, where you could just go and I bombed in that room over 50 times hard.

I would go if I was booked at a standing room. Yeah. I would go between shows and just watch the power hour, not go up power hours. So fun. Brutal, brutal. They did a lot of really fun shows. Sean O'Connor had this thing called night Mike Sean O'Connor in LA now. Yeah. He was such a good comic. He's hilarious. I think he's like, one of his half hours. Fantastic. He's one of the funniest human beings. Yeah. And he's still writing jokes. He wrote for Nikki on the golden globes. Yes. He writes all that Sean O'Connor is, I mean, Norm MacDonald loved him.

That's all the proof you need. Like Sean is so funny, but he used to do this thing. That was the best. Yeah. I feel like a hipster right now, but I'm like, Oh, you like his golden globe jokes. You missed night Mike, but night Mike, he would just do this random shit. They used to do Andy Haynes used to do this thing called Midnight Run, where you would get really high. The Lucas Brothers and Andy Haynes, I think it was, or I was on the show with the Lucas Brothers.

Insane, that talent. But it was, I mean, Michael Che came up there. Like a lot of us, that's where we all hung out. We did like real roasts back then, not this like a company's paying for it to be filmed. It was like, please no cameras. And it would be like Nate, we roasted Barghetti when he moved. We roasted Yannis was the first big one.

It was so fun. Some of those jokes made people very angry. Nate was a clean roast battler? Dude, Nate, red State Nate, the only, there wasn't a battle. There was no battle involved. It was, people were going up there and saying jokes that ended friendships. I remember the old patio at the creek after Yannis' Racine had like four jokes that he had to go around to people and be like, hey, I was just kidding about that. Like he just absolutely laid them out.

But it was like, that's why I kind of got a little, Hey, stop eating your butt. That's why I kind of got a little mad about the like commercialized version of the roast because you're like, this is supposed to be between people that are very close and it's only people in the room and you're saying wild shit about them. Yes. You're not following a format of like, so and so is here. So and so is so, so and so that so and so said that they had sex with them. And it's like, I got it. I also suck at roasting. So this is like my,

I'm not good at it, but when it's my friends and it's a closed room, uh-huh. Let that fucker. I'll let that chopper sang My issue with roast battle. I did see one in Austin. I went and judged one of the ones that mother's guys are unbelievable, dude It was like oh, this is good. This wasn't bad. It's unbelievable. Great. This is a great art form Yeah, I went and watched I did the same and mothership. I Hosted our judged a roast battle. I was like, you guys are so good at this. And they, they, they didn't want to win. They cared about the jokes and they didn't care about winning.

Yeah. That should be how it goes. You shouldn't actually want to win. I'm just not good at that style. A Ty Rivera was the other judge, which is, yeah, it's very good at that. That guy was burned down. Yeah. He'll set fire to anything, anything in a way that I kind of,

I'm like blown away by yeah It's very fun. I've got a chutzpah. Yeah, but when you tell your so you're you start doing mics in Houston Mm-hmm. When did you tell your parents? I'm pretty shortly after it wasn't I wasn't like coming out to them I was just kind of doing comedy now and they're like cool. Keep your job. Don't give up your job. So that was it. Yeah They were also this is this is um job. So that was it. Yeah. Um, they were also, this is, this is, um, somewhat weird of a thing for me to admit. It's not a cool thing to talk about when I was in college, when I was 20 years old, a guy just walked up to me on the street and said,

I work with the modeling agency. Here's my card. You should come see us. And you go, did you immediately go home and call your parents? I call my parents like, no, you can't do it. You're not allowed to do that. And I was like, let me just go talk to him. They're like, no, you can't make money off of what you look like. Your biopics gonna rule. Your dad at home. Ain't no son of mine gonna take his shirt off or anything more.

Now whether or not the agency was legitimate, which is really to be said. He's in a, he's in a fucking, he's in a laboratory, but it's overalls and he's shoeless. He promised you a fan boat boy. You ain't never going on model unless you modern it on a fan boat. Cause that's something the whole family can use. So they said they shot it down. Yeah. They were like, we're, we're really against that. And I don't know if it was a legit offer, by the way, it could have been some place. I was just trying to get my money's for the, you might've, you might've avoided some heavy, heavy trauma.

But the whole idea was like, you're absolutely, I don't care if it pays. We don't care. Work on your education. Get a good job with the math skills you have, because that's where you were going to make your money. That is, but I think there is a part of you that did you resent that at all? I didn't mind the boundaries they gave me because I knew they were right. Anything they told me I knew they were they were correct. I'm like they're probably right and then when I did my first open mic it felt like I was like

an Amish person experiencing the real world. Yeah I was just like oh everything they told me about myself was limited and based on probably their own insecurities and own insufficiencies. And my first set went well enough that I'm like, maybe I have the, it, this is very cheesy to say, but the first set felt like I got a letter from Hogwarts that I had been a wizard all these years and he didn't realize I had this power. Cause I wasn't like a good actor. I wasn't a funny guy.

I'm not the most charming guy. I'm a weirdly stiff person. Well, you're also, you are a handsome, you are objectively handsome. Thank you. And that is intimidating in itself. Immediately. You want to write you off. You want to go, what are you fucking, was this guy funny? Fuck that. Because a lot of the times senses of humor are a self-defense mechanism. And a lot of the times it's like people that develop it. That's why reading about kids Taking those Zempik you go. Well, then no one's gonna be funny. You need fat people. Yeah

I'm good blowjobs need fat girls I'm skinny in their 20s and you wonder why she just sucked your past through your pee hole and you're like, oh you're a big girl All right You like dude, I'm telling you right now Katie who my fiance? Yes the love of my life a funny person a big girl. All right. You like, dude, I'm telling you right now, uh, Katie, who, my fiance, the love of my life, a funny person, a very funny person. She had a very difficult middle school years. She had very difficult. So did I. And that's why when you find that out about person, you go like, and now you're hot. This is

great. But you, taking away that, I think stops people from growing into a personality. Into having it. So when an attractive person is funny, you immediately go like, no fair, like no fair. I'm with you on that. Like no, I hate those people when I see them online where they're just attractive people

who are like model slash comedians. Like no. Yeah. No. It's about status. But it doesn't mean you can't get there. Comedy, I believe the basis of comedy is humility. It shows you that you ain't shit. And that's why like comics, the best advice has always been just like when people say, how do you get in shape, diet and exercise? How do you get good at standup, right? And get on stage because you have to have bad sets and you have to get humbled and you have to go like, I think this is so funny. And you say it, and they go, that ain't even kind of funny. Or they go, what?

Or you have a joke work that works three times and then it fails 20 times. And then you go like, well, I have to learn how to figure this out. So there is like, so I think when like an attractive person is funny, immediately the response is like, fuck you, you are. But it could happen. And when you have that moment for you in your life, where you do an open mic and people don't know

that your parents are like, no modeling, none of this. No, no boy am I gonna be in an underwear and a macy dick. I don't know. And then you do an open mic and you go like, I found it. I've, if this feels good and I think I can get really good at it. Yes. I thought that was what I thought I saw. Okay.

I understand that it's very rare for someone to have a good set their first time. This is one data point that points to me being an upper outlier. And then I had another good set. Another good set. You graphed it. And then I bombed for three months. Yeah, same.

Two good sets and I bombed for three months and I was really about to give up hope minus Chase DeRusso and a couple other comics. So I started with there. We were just like, hey man, I know it's rough up there. We like what you're doing. Keep doing it. We thought you were just some frat bro who's gonna try it twice and we didn't wanna give you the satisfaction.

So we waited until we saw you bomb a bunch of times to tell you you're doing a good job. Keep at it. That's the best feeling. It was one of my favorite moments of comedy. I walked off stage after a bomb, they go, you're funny, and I was resentful, I'm like, why are you telling me that? Now, that wasn't funny.

There was a moment where, in Tucson, I had a ton of those moments, but. I'm like, why are you telling me that now? Yeah, that was funny There was a moment where you know, I in Tucson I've had a ton of those moments, but when I moved here specifically in New York, I was barking Down in the West Village. I wasn't getting real spots I was only doing open mics check spots and I was on this like late Joe list was one of my good buddies So he was one of those people that was like no you're funny They keep going but I was doing it really in a really really tough place and I had zero money and it was really hard. And Neil Brennan, um, who I'm a Chappelle fanatic. I mean, literally the reason I do stand up comedy is cause of Dave Chappelle.

I was like such a hipster with him that when Chappelle show came out, I resented his fame because I was like, he was mine. I knew about him. You guys didn't even fucking care about him. You don't even know about the show he did with Jim Brewer called Buddies. Like I knew about stuff. I was like into it. And I knew, of course I knew who Neil Brennan was.

They wrote Half Baked together. I was like huge into Half Baked. And I was at a real, real down part and Neil Brennan came into the old, it was the Comedy Village, but the old Boston, and he watched my set and I got off stage and he's like, you're funny, you're like really funny. And I was like, oh!

And it was just that moment where you're like, this guy who has done Clayton Bigsby, you know, like all my, the Rick James, directed the Rick James sketch, it's like all this stuff that I like love. I was like, all right, that's like pretty big for me. And then you just keep going. Those are the best moments in common.

I think it's just getting when when someone you idolize is like, hey, you were funny. Yeah, that's kind of that's kind of the best moment. And it's it's it's equally gratifying to watch. And I truly do mean this. When you watch friends of yours that you know are hilarious get very famous, because you go, yeah, okay. This is like watching Nate and Shane blow up,

to me has been so fun, because you go like, right? All right, so we were all right. Everyone is, this is one thing that we could all agree on is that these motherfuckers are hilarious, because for so long you're going like, am I funny? Yeah. Is this shit funny? But I was lucky that I had a supportive mom. I had a different, my mom was more like draft day mom. She was like, come on baby, come on baby. You're going to put us on not in a golden ticket kind of way, not in a way where it felt forced like that,

but in a way of like, that was kind of my motivation. Like I could make our lives, I could help my family. And it really was that kind of motivation of like, well that's why I'm going to move to New York. If I want to make this thing real, I want to do this. I loved comedy. And so I was kind of motivated and also was something that I loved. So it was like, well, yeah, I'll just go put in my time. I'm not, I've never been good at the marketing thing.

I've never been good at the self congratulatory or like bragging kind of thing. I just always loved being funny and I have a competitive nature. So I was like, stand up is a great place for me to be. I'm also very competitive. I think I'm into a long way. I think a lot of comedians are, and that's why I hate when they say they aren't. Yeah. Because it's like, they're also hard working,

and literally I'm a bum, I'm like, no, you do something. If you're here now, you have some grit. But that should be, I think, for anybody that, like, fuck it, if they're a mathematician, if they're a writer, if they're like, you really, I loved, I went, you know, when I was younger, I went through it. I still love them as a writer. I went through a huge Hunter S Thompson phase. And then when you read about, when he began writing, when he was a kid,

he would type out chapters of Hemingway novels because he thought he could learn the melody of the word, like the keys, like how to write. So he would like rewrite. It's just large language modeling. Exactly. That's right. Yeah. I like that you can immediately put it into a crazy smart term. I go, yeah, my I'm almost like the Creole guy now. I go, well, that's just you just touch the ground. And if it's warm, that means someone walked now. I go, well, that's just, you just touched the ground. And if it's warm, that means someone walked in. And they go, well, that's actually an imprint from body heat.

You go, OK, mister. Your dad goes, this boy understands swamp logic. Are your uncles like that? Are your uncles like? No. Your family's not like Creole? No, are my uncles Cajun? Yes, very.

Cajun. Yeah, if you hear them talk, you'll be like, yeah, that's a Cajun accent. What? My dad's accent when he drank and talked to his brother, his accent would come back and it was cool to see. That's like Big J. When you get him around Philly, he'll be like, up in New York, you don't hear an accent. And then he's back near Philly and you're like, I'm going to go get a huggie.

And you're like, the fuck was that, dude? Where you always doing it? Yeah, he's like, nah, I'm just going home. And you're like, you're going home. Uh, but I love that. I always think it's fascinating because comics, you know, I, I would like to interview anybody, but I always think you can like see where people come from by how their parents treated them because it's, it's all about where your parents came from.

My mom was like, dude, if you wanna do this, God bless you. I don't have any money, so I can't really fucking help you. But when I told her I wanted to be a comedian, she was almost like, kinda what I told you about earlier. She was like, if you're following something that you think you'll love doing, I'm not gonna stand in your way. And it was just nice.

So when I hear about your parents being like, no. Did you have the moment with your parents where they were like good job? Yes with my dad He passed away in 2016. Sorry the last two years were Fading cognition due to Parkinson's. Okay, he never understood it It was just such a foreign thing to him that I would want to any of that is it

I think someone else has a good bit about it, but he was when you grow up as poor as he did, having money is making it. You don't need fame. Yeah. You don't need stardom or to be some kind of like, well, that's rock folk hero. That fame and stardom are for people with full bellies. Yes. Yes. Not for people who can't fucking keep the lights on. Yeah. And he, he, what he didn't understand was he gave me so much stability and that he works very hard and we had a good home and a good

education and I was never wanting and speedos for days. He had fucking caps and nose plugs. I had to pay for my own swim lessons. You, dude, you came up hard. That was in terms of practicality. They're like, if you want to swim, that's, that's your money. You came up hard. Yeah, that was in terms of practicality. They're like, if you want to swim, that's your money you have to pay. Yeah, dude, that is poor parents. That are poor parents that made money

where they go, you pay for that. Well, no, because they were like, we want to reinforce you that academics is your job and anything else is a hobby. My mom kind of did that, but it didn't stick because I was just a smart ass in school. My mom was like, this isn't going to work. I can't fucking ride him on this.

Yeah. My dad, he saw me on, I had done comedy central and I tried to explain to him like a new faces. He was like, sounds, sounds good. And then he saw me on a Carson daily. I did Carson daily, which I had to explain. This sounds like a bit, I swear it's not. I had to explain to him that it was neither the Carson show nor the daily show. That's really funny. I know that's too good of a pun.

It sounds like I can drive it.. I never fucking thought about that. Or he goes, you're going to be Johnny Carson? You're like, no, no, no, no. Carson Daly. The Daily Show, which John Stewart. I think John Stewart's tremendous. And you go, well, you'll get it, dad. Are you familiar with in sync? Are you familiar with the boy band push of the turn of the century? That's so when you did Carson Daly, he was kind of like, I watched it and he was like, I watched it and I was like, wow, that's my son on television. That's awesome. And I kind of understand now why you, why you do this and how far you've come.

That's awesome. My mom has still never given me anything, but she did say to me one time, she's been like happy. I did a movie, Billy Crystal. I was on Maisel. I did tonight's show. She thought those were important. Um, she didn't, she was Conan was like, whatever, people are going to see this or at least she literally, I think I did. But moms have a way of doing that. I'm going to tell you right now, people are going to see this. Or she literally, I think I did, I was like, I'm doing a way of doing that. I'm going to tell you right now, my mom is the most supportive. Like I couldn't ask for a more supportive mom and even her one time, the second time I did Conan, which was that, um,

the Nazi one. Yeah. I love that one. Really? Yeah. I fucking thought I bombed that set. My first set was such an interesting, but it was such a paradigm shift of why are we picking on old people? Let's defend them. And it was, it was when I was still learning comedy, I'm like, Oh, that's such a better way to do that. Yeah. That's such a smart way to take that on. Well, you know how, what if we're talking comedy theory for you nerds, if you don't want comedy talk, you can go, you can leave.

I'll see you on the next episode. But, um, that comedy theory is comedy theory wise was the Louie internet joke on the plane, wait for it. That is, I probably wouldn't be a comedian if it wasn't for that. Yeah, it's one of the most iconic, and he did that on Conan, and I think that really blew it. He did it as a panel joke, but it was one of his standup jokes.

But the joke was, if you don't know, you should go watch it. But he's on a plane, and the guy is trying to get the internet on his phone. And he's like, what the fuck? And he's like, give it a second. It's going to space. Yeah. Love this. Love that joke. And then Louie revealed it was, dude, what are you doing?

I was just eating her ass. She's just inner kennel eating her ass. Hey. But Louie, finally, I saw an interviewer, Louie revealed that that was him. He was making fun of himself. And I did that to my grandmother. I was like trying to show her something on my phone

and she was like, what? What? And I was like, ugh, how do you not get it? And then she was like told a story, literally about her and my grandfather sitting on a hill. We were driving across the Bay Bridge, which goes from San Francisco to Oakland. And we were crossing over into Oakland and my grandmother went like your grandfather and I sat on that hill and watched them turn on the lights of the

Golden Gate and Bay Bridge after the Japanese surrendered. And I was like, Oh, fuck. And she was like, yeah, we had to turn off the lights of the bridge because we were afraid of the Japanese bombing us during world war two. And I was like, Oh, it's crazy. I didn't even fucking know that was a thing. She might've been lying to me. I'm pretty sure that's how it went.

But it was, it was one of those things where that's how that joke where I was like, who am I to talk shit to this woman? Cause she doesn't know how to work GPS. Yeah. We're like, so fucking what? Still a fresh joke, honestly. Yeah, but I did Conan and I called my mom and I was like, I think Fallon just took over

the Tonight Show. And my mom, I go, yeah, I'm doing Conan again. On like April 22nd, my mom goes, when are you doing Fallon? And you go, well, I don't fucking know. You know, it was like immediately that kind of response. You go, how about we just celebrate this win? Yeah. How about I'm doing Conan again? Yeah. And we were but parents, I I guarantee she watches this podcast.

So I know I'll get a call about this. She's very supportive. I know for a fact she didn't mean it like that. Sure. But it's just your insecure kids are sensitive. My mom said to me one time. I was just kind of frustrated I'm like, why are you not like excited for me? She thinks I'm funny, by the way My mom does actually like respect my comedy That's why aren't you excited for me that I've made a career out of this you said it was very unlikely You know the lottery ticket I've you know that I got out of all this and she goes listen

I didn't have the life I wanted I didn't have the marriage I wanted I didn't have the career I wanted I I didn't have the marriage I wanted. I didn't have the career I wanted. I don't consider myself a lucky person and you are my son. So if you succeed, it would mean I succeed. And it's not that I don't believe in you. It's I don't believe in me. Oh, and that was, that always gave me some perspective on it. You go, Oh, how do you not hug her right then? Yeah, I know. And then I said that I told that I've told that, I've said that before on podcasts and she goes, when did I say that? It's so funny.

They're defensive. They get defensive quick. I didn't say that. I don't remember saying that. Dude, one time I made a joke where I was like talking about like a drinking problem. My mom's like, I didn't drink that much. And you're like, come on. And then she's like, all right. But it wasn't that bad. Because they're said there are people everyone. That's the one thing that I think the internet's a racing that we need to hold onto is that

fucking people are people. Like you have feelings like that's what sucks about AI. That's what sucks about chat, GBT and this, this, this thing that I hope it's fake. I don't know if it's true that meta is making AI profiles. So it's going to be people you're interacting with on, on, on Instagram Instagram aren't even real people, they're all AI. And you're like, dead internet theory. Dead internet theory. And you're like, then why go on it?

Katie and I call everyone bots now. Yeah. If someone does something in public, we'll go, he's a bot. That's a fucking bot, dude. Like that red dress scene in the Matrix, they're all just there for you. Yeah, you go, dude, that's fucking, that's a bot. Yeah, that's funny.

But I think it's, you know, I think like, everything's so politicized now and everything is so tribal and like take this side and it's kind of like, guys, this is a tough go for everybody. Yeah. And you realize that when you talk to your parents or you talk to people that you maybe have

a tenuous emotional connection to or a weird emotional connection to, and you talk to them and you go like, Oh, they got shit. Like I won't talk to friends for like months. And I'll be like, they're mad at me or whatever. Then you talk to them and they're like, no, I was going through something. You go, Oh fuck. Oh fuck. You know, or do you have, do you make new friends anymore? Rarely. Yeah. It's not through comedy.

Right. Not really. You're not married. No, I'm engaged. Okay, oh congratulations. Thanks. How many groomsmen do you see yourself having? Or bachelor party, how many guys are you inviting

on your bachelor party? I wouldn't even do a bachelor party. I'm not that kind of guy. No? No, I would, if I went away for like that kind of thing, I would, I don't know, I would want it to be like 10 people, but then I would, I would be in, I would be hurting people's feelings.

I'm still close with my six best friends from high school. Okay. I was gonna, I was curious. The composition very close with, you know, it's not as close as I want to be. I don't see them nearly as much and I don't talk to them as much, but we all still are in contact and we're all still, we try to get together. Everyone has families now,

but there's no like, I still love all my friends. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a good group? Oh, I had no friends in high school. Really? I have no one from my high school is going to my wedding. Really? Yeah. I made my friends in high school. Really? I have no one from my high school is going to my wedding. Really? Yeah.

I made my friends in college, but I was a loser. And what they don't tell you about losers is they can also be mean. You can be a loser and mean. Well, a lot of times you're mean because you're a loser. Yes. And I was just a self-isolated. If you're smart, that means you can be precise with your. I wasn't socially smart. I was, I was, uh, I,

I did all the AP classes with a bunch of dorky kids who would have gladly had me as a friend, but I had my eyes on the cheerleaders and, and, and, and the football players. And any reason why they, did you ever pinpoint a reason why they never fucked with you or general unpleasantness? I don't think they were just kind of like, no, me being unpleasant. There was like, Matt's unpleasant. Yeah, I think I was just socially remedial.

Yeah. I wasn't, I didn't exactly get good social skills from my father. I mean, yeah. Yeah. The way you talk about it, it's understandable. Do you ever think that they would see that and go like, now that they're adults, they go, oh, that makes sense.

Like my high school people. Yeah, like people, like people from high school go, huh, looks like we were wrong. We were the monsters the whole time. I don't think they would have really, I think about that a lot where I'm like, yes, they rejected me, but I didn't share a lot with them. And I see them now, and you know, when you do comedy now,

people are a lot nicer to you. And like, we don't, this isn't like, this is a bit of a laborious conversation. I think we can both feel that. I completely do. I did. I never really wondered what you guys were after. I would pretend, but I don't like watching SEC football

on a Sunday afternoon. I like swimming in math and puzzle nights. Yeah. I mean, damn, I would have traded in a second. I would love to hook them horns. Or you were in. Laura was a, Laura and my parents were Longhorns. I mean, dude, UT is, Austin would be a fun school to go to, but I,

yeah, cause their NFL team and their MLB team and their, uh, and they are just a college football, football, uh, coach football team who got close to the national championship this year. Got real close. Um, there is, I understand that feeling. I went to, uh, I had friends though. I had friends, but I had friends in a way that like I think I needed them. Like more than I... I really, they really helped me out

just because my dad died in high school, my sister died in high school. I had a lot of just stuff where I liked doing substances. So I needed kind of people around me. And I had a really, really good group of friends and external friends. I had my six like really, really good group of friends and external friends. You know, I had my six like really, really close friends, but then there was like that outer layer,

which McDaniel was in and like that stuff where, in high school, you know, middle school, he was him and my buddy Byron were my best friends. But it's interesting because I think, oh no, the story I was gonna tell was, I did the Boulder Theater in Colorado last year. It was like my first theater. Congratulations on theaters, man. Well, well deserved.

Thanks. It's so cool to see a good comic being ramping up. So I hope you know, good tickets, danceholder.com. But I did the Boulder Theater, which is the biggest show I've ever done in Colorado, outside of opening for Burt at Red Rocks, which was phenomenal. But you're saying it was the same week I did that show. But you know, you're opening, you go very, some of my people I went to high school with there, which was awesome.

My friend Carrie was there, she like took a picture. She's like, this is, I didn't even know you were gonna be here. But I did the Boulder Theater. And then afterwards, everyone met up at a bar, my group of friends. And then there were other people from high school that went to the show at the Boulder theater that maybe were brought by a friend of a friend that I hadn't seen in fucking 20 years or whatever. And this one girl, I won't give her a name. We

weren't friends in high school. We're not friends now. She was just there with a friend of a friend. And she just goes, I didn't think you were that funny. And I was not tonight. She goes, growing up I didn't think you were funny. And I was like, okay. And by the way, there's like people I want to see. As I told you, I don't see my friends nearly enough. And this girl's just, she's not trying to be mean.

I swear to God she's not trying to mean me. She's literally just trying to, this is what I mean by laborious. You were right about laborious. She's like just trying to this one. I mean by laborious, you were right about laborious. She's like just trying to have a conversation and I'm like talking to her about her. I'm like, that's awesome. You're doing that. That seems like a good job. And she's like, so this is like, this is your job. And I was like, she's like, that was fun. She's like, I just get in high school.

I didn't think you were funny. And I was like, you were though, right? Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't, but I was like, I'm the same. I was pretty much trying to get a compliment for being funny. Oh really? Okay. Like I wasn't good at sports. I was good at getting fucked up and being silly. Like that's what I'm still good at. And I remember being like snapping in this moment and going like, Oh, I have no reason to talk to this person. So she just finished her sentence and I walked away. And Katie was like, that looked like a weird exit. because Katie was there and she was like, that looked like, do you know that girl? And I was like, I went to high school with her,

but I realized in the middle of our conversation that there's no reason to have this conversation. I'm not going to reach out to her ever. I don't care. And all she was saying was shit. That was like, kind of hurting my feelings. So I was just like, yeah, fuck this. I'm gone. Also you weren't even cool in high school. It was like a thing or, you know, it's one of those things where a week later you're driving somewhere and you're like, fuck you. I was funny. High school pulling into a parking lot. I'm like, who is this?

I'm like in Providence pulling into a parking lot. Like this fucking bitch. I was funny in high school. Yeah. Should have had Mr. Gomez's second period math class with me drinking them Phaedraids. Yeah. I think people, when you've had some kind of upward status shift in your life, people think it's okay to shit on who you were. You're like, I'm defensive of every version of myself.

Hell yeah. I like every version of myself. Even if, when I didn't even like, when I was in that, I still am like, no, that guy was trying. Except in the weeds waiter Dan. that guy's a real prick. That guy's a real in the weeds. You never, you'd never wait at tables. Um, when you wait tables and, um, hostesses,

no, with all respect, with all due respect, the bimbos of the restaurant world, yes, they're the hotties that they put up front. Yeah. And they walked to your table and they leave and then you're disappointed. Well, what they do is they will double seat a waiter. They put it, uh, they seat a table. So you start the table, getting their drinks, their appetizer, and then they set another table. Well, you got to take care of the drinks and the appetizers for this. It's too soon to sit this table. So now you're rushed.

Now I got to get this table, but I also got to greet them. Sometimes they'll triple sit you where it's like table, table, table. Well, how am I going to greet three tables at once? Now you're in the weeds. Now you're fighting out of it. How do I keep these table times? You thought comedy talk was bad. Just get me waiter talking. Uh, and now you're in the weeds. I would be a dick. I'd be like, get the fuck out of my way. Like, Oh, so staff other staff and other waiters. Fucking customers, dude. Anyone can get it when I'm fucking in the weeds. I will fucking go after I will. I was a fucking prick when I was in the weeds.

I bet you even fucking fill the ice pen. You fucking cunt. One time I was so mad. I called a guy who left that didn't do a side work and I was like, I, I you when you're a closing server, you have to sign people out. This guy got paid and left without getting signed out and I called him at home and I was like, come back in. You didn't do your side work. And I knew he lived in the neighborhood. So he came back in and filled the ice buckets because take down those mocha

head days, man. You're fucking, you're on a team here. Um, thanks for coming in. They made an Emmy winning show out about this. Yeah. The bear. I can't watch it. It'll give me too much anxiety. I haven't watched it. Everyone's like, if you work in a restaurant, you'll get anxiety. I was like, dude, I gotta wait for that. I got to sit somewhere in like a thunder vest and be like, Andy, we're said that he's a great author. Andy, we're said that, uh, they could do,

he used to work in tech and they could do watch a Silicon Valley. He goes, no, for the same reason that, uh, veterans can't watch saving private Ryan. I get it. My uncle worked in politics for a long time and he said the closest thing that anyone is replicated with politics is V. Yeah. And you're going to say similar to, um, um, uh, scrubs, apparently is the most accurate medical show. Comedy does a better job. Yeah. Yeah. But he said, my uncle said that House of Cards

doesn't even, he's like, that's not real. He's like, that's not real at all. He's like, it's way more Veep. It's way more like people making mistakes and then being like, I didn't mean to make a mistake. I fucking, I was on top of that. Yeah. It's great.

Watch everything Matt Broussard does. He's an incredible comic, special on YouTube. Yes. Go watch it, give it the views. Appreciate that. Do you and Laura have a podcast? Yes we do, yes. She does stand up too.

Yes. You were on it, fantastic guest. Great episode if you wanna hear that one. Yeah, listen to their podcast, support. I love you, thank you for watching this. If you're not into comedy talk, you know what happens once every couple episodes. Guess what?

Next episode will be pro wrestling talk. Then you'll be begging for this episode. Waiter talk, baby. Oh dude, I could, oh fuck it. My eyes were glazing over during that. I was just like, ugh. I'll go all in. But there are people who are listening to this,

who are like, yes! You made him sign out? Dude, that's gnarly, dude. Fuck it, dude, I would absolutely do. Dude, I'll start a second podcast called In the Hutch with Dan Soder, just talking waiter shit. Comment below if you want me to do a fucking, if every three episodes you want me to do an exclusive,

I'll bring in Eli, I'll bring in Sarah Somp, I'll bring in all my old friends I used to dose Caminos with you want to get in this well fucking get in this map at Matt Broussard Matthew Broussard at Monday Punday at Monday Monday Pundit way off at Monday Punday go watch him he's hilarious I'm telling you right now his jokes there are fantastic like you watch your jokes and you're like god damn it I remember when they were doing this week at the cellar you would have jokes where I'm like you right now, his jokes, they are fantastic. Like you watch your jokes and you're like, God damn it. I remember when they were doing this week at the cellar, you would have jokes where I'm like, ah, it's fucking.

Oh, thanks man. That's unbelievable. So yeah, go check him out. Bye. you