Soder - 75: Joker’s Henchman with Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico | Soder Podcast | EP 73

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

Dan is on the road all 2025! Get tickets @ https://www.dansoder.com/tour April 4-5 - Richmond,VA May 1-3 - Spokane,WA May 15 - Albany May 16 - Burlington,VT May 29-31 - Appleton,WI June 6 - Red Bank,NJ Sep 5-6 - Phoenix,AZ Sep 25 - Los Angeles, CA Follow Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico https://x.com/luisjgomez?lang=en https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://www.instagram.com/zacisnotfunny/?hl=en https://x.com/zacisnotfunny?lang=en PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with me! Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by       @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Richmond, Virginia. April 4th and 5th. Gonna be at the Funny Bone. Bringing Brendan Sagalotes. It's gonna be a fun four shows. Friday, Saturday. Get tickets now. DanSoder.com. Spokane, Washington. And yeah, I say Spokane. For some reason, people everywhere else call it Spokane. They don't know how to say your city's name. Well, I know how to say it correctly. Spokane, Washington. I will be there for five shows at the beginning of May. May 1st through the 3rd, five shows, Spokane Comedy Club in Spokane, Washington. Buy tickets now. DanSoda.com. See you there. Albany, New York. May 15th. I will be at the Egg. Hopefully that's a theater and not just a giant egg.

I've actually heard it is a lovely, lovely theater. May 15th, Albany, New York, The Egg. It's gonna be a fucking awesome show. Buy tickets now at Dansoda.com. May 16th, The Flynn Theater in Burlington, Vermont. You crunchy assholes. Crawl out of those mountains, eat a granola bar, and come on over to the Flynn Theater in Burlington, Vermont.

It is honestly, I love Burlington. I've been there a bunch. The crowds are always awesome. So come on out to Burlington, Vermont, May 16th, at the Flynn Theater, danceroda.com for tickets. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. As someone who does voices, you never do a voice to someone's face because they never take it right. They're always like, I don't sound like that.

It was Joe Mackey that I did it to. Where I was like, what's up folks? And he goes, I don't talk like that. He got like very serious and then you're like, oh yeah, you don't do. But I feel like if you're an actor and you're playing someone In a movie you're doing their voice to them. Oh, yeah, absolutely and you're like, hey, are you mad about this? I'd be fucking like Mark Kerr is a guy that well, I don't think he could kick the rocks ass You think you kick the rocks ass now? Yeah, maybe you still think

You know, I believe in those old-school guys like this shoot On Friday and seven kind of guy loved on fry. Are you going to Vegas for mania? No, there's one indie match that I'm obsessed with Suzuki. Yeah butter bean Great referee Dan seven. Okay I might go to Vegas just for that iny match. I think I'm going. Do you pull him into any Indy stuff? Do you take him to Indy stuff ever?

It's always on weekends. Lewis, you would have the energy of a guy that would love, are you looking up Mark Kerr? Are you just looking at your texts? I'm looking up Mark Kerr as the Rock, or the Rock as Mark Kerr. What did you think? Did you see a picture of him?

Looks good. Yeah, it looks good. What was your note? You have a note. You immediately have a note. Well, no, there's no note. It's just the rock's black. Mark Kerr's white.

Mark Kerr isn't even part black? Mark Kerr is gotta be... No, his name would be Nick. Nick Kerr and then you go, Hey, I don't think we can name him that. His black dad's like, I ain't even naming my baby that that's so funny That's a great joke. That's so funny. They go the Kerr family looks down upon it

Curves part black Would that ruin the movie for you if he's not what kind of dance do you do mr. Abu? I'll tell you what we're not what kind of dance do you do mr. Abu I'll tell you what we're not gonna name him as Jim Irish and his father's Porter or his mother's Puerto Rican okay yeah so oh my god oh my god it's all coming together but it is funny when you play a guy in a movie I would just feel like he would come up to you and be like I don't fucking talk like that and then I would melt Down I wouldn't be like that was my decision as an actor

I'd be like, are you mad at me? I would could fucking scrap the whole movie but the rock seems like a guy who's like I'm gonna play you how I see it Just doing the eyebrow a lot like Marker never did the mark. Her says know your damn role If you're getting the octagon, I'm gonna smack the and you're like you never even talk like that If you're getting the octagon, I'm going to smack the, and you're like, you never even talk like that. Now we're going to shoot this. You're going to smell like Mark Kerr beats up Superman. Finally.

Dude, I thought that was the funniest thing when The Rock was like, you know, it came out that when he was playing Black Adam, he was like, I should fight Superman. And they were like, well, that's not Superman's enemy. And The Rock was like, make it. And they're like, he has Shazam. And The Rock literally was like like Shazam's too gay I want to fight Superman and DC bent the knee and they had a scene where they did a cameo with

Henry Cavill shows up as Superman and funny. I never even saw black Adam. It's nobody did horrible So on a plane tank that universe Yeah, they it was so bad. It was so bad They hired James gun to redo the whole universe They gave James Gunn like a Saudi prince I want a DC EU or whatever. Well, I don't know but that was like the DCU and now there's like there's DCU and then there's DCU I don't need to know that James is way and James watchy dude He just watches YouTube videos explaining the breakdowns between the different universes It's crazy that me and your son have the same YouTube habits

My favorite thing to watch on YouTube is reasons movies weren't made. Ooh. Like Nicholas Cage's Superman, Darren Aronofsky doing Batman Year Zero. Yeah. And it's always some fucking studio guy that goes like, I don't think that would work. And then you don't get the movie that everyone wants. Yeah. But like The Rock has got so much power that he was like,

I'm gonna fight Superman. And the studio was like, I don't think we can do that. And then James got out of call him in and be like, we're going in a different direction with what? Fucking everything. You fucked everything up. He's about to turn DC into like an awesome franchise. I mean, the new Superman looks awesome.

Yeah, it does. Like the first preview of it, you're like, this is fucking good. I got an inside report on that one. Yeah? Gonna be good? I heard it's almost all practical. Really? Yeah, that's like the first preview of it. You're like this. I got an inside report on that one. Yeah Gonna be good. I heard it's almost all practical Really? I heard it's 70 style practical. I love it cuz the penguin which is DC was fucking great Yeah, and I like that when they make it realistic cuz Marvel Marvel was fun, but Marvel's for kids is James into Marvel

Yeah, he's like still in the Marvel loves it. I feel like that's when you see your son. I think his favorite is Batman and then Spider-Man is his close second favorite. Do you think he likes Batman because your parents were killed? No. And he goes like my dad's like Bruce Wayne if he got in a podcast. He will tell you that he will tell you that he thinks that I could beat up a lot of superheroes. It's the cutest thing ever. When does that fade? When does that fade? He's like dad if Batman didn't have time to prepare for you, I think you'd be a real problem for him. Oh, that has to make you feel... It does.

Knowing you for as long as I do, that has to be the way to your heart. Yeah. It's just going like... But also, he's smarter than me, so he knows that. And she was like, so buy me new toys. Also, I need new Nikes. Dad, I really feel like you'd fuck up Spider-Man. And you go, she's got a footlocker.

You're just feeling good. You go, man would fuck you up on the way to go beat up who he intended. No, I would first of all, most of the goons that are a part of like the Joker's crew could beat my ass. Average fucking Joker goon in clown makeup. And you go, ah, you broke my fucking ribs. But you also do have the personality of the goon that talks shit to Batman when he shows up. Lewis has it goes, look at this freak dressed like a bat and then his arms snap.

Just immediately, look, what the fuck, you broke my arm. And he's like, I don't like the way you talk. Lewis really should just have a robber mask with an L on it. Yeah, I really do have a robber mask with an L on it. Yeah. Oh, dude, I really do have a fucking joker goon energy. You do. They show up and they go, look at this pussy. Opening scene where Batman beats shit out of everybody.

You know what you do? You have the guy that tosses the knife to himself, and he goes, what if we cut him up, boss? And then immediately, batting. Is this part of the broadcast? Yeah. Oh, this rules. Yeah, absolutely.

This is great. Oh, in the back robbery, Lewis is like, so who's this joker pussy anyway? Guys, guys want to take my money. I'm not listening to a clown. And then you're like, this guy's dead. This guy's dead. Look at this freak in the back. Yeah, you're absolutely funny. Look at this pussy wearing a Batman suit.

Then immediately your arms are bent. What the fuck? Or you get stuck with like one of the Batarangs. You're like, ah, ah, ah. But by the way, we never know that at home, the goon's kid is going, hey dad, you can beat a Batman. You can beat a Batman, can't you?

There's a great book just called Joker. It's a one-off. Oh yeah, I read it. Oh yeah, and it's just the life of a Joker goon. Oh, it's so good. Just the guy being, the only time you seeokers when he's like at work or whatever that Joker's fucking great And the way it's drawn it's like that super realistic drawing but Jesus Christ I never thought Lewis had Batman thug energy

Yeah, just minor player like just fucking clown number four And then you're trying to get pussy later and you go, know I had Batman yeah you know I thought Batman was yeah my arm yeah that's a broken pinkie forever broken we're robbing Gotham Central fucking pussy came out of nowhere you would have criticisms about Batman I would actually be legit where you go he used to smoke and mirrors and shit yeah I mean, he, you already gets direction, some bitch in a wheelchair. It's got some old gay English guy that like fixes his suit for him.

So funny. Look at this pussy. Toys some old, you know why? Cause I think like a, you know, diehard, the guy that kisses ass to Hans Gruber, you know, the guy that's like Hansi, baby, let's make a deal. I've got a little of that in me. We're like, if I were in a diehard movie and they had us all captive, I'd be like, I could probably make a deal with this terrorist, like show up and be like, what are we doing? Huh? You like Rodney Dangerfield?

What if Rodney Dangerfield called him the threat to the police officer? He's like hey, I'm gonna blow up this whole tower and they're like, huh? I'd be useless for a criminal organization. Yeah, cuz I want to be liked too much. No, they wouldn't need the voice changer You could call the kid. Oh, yeah That's mine Go for my sandwich guys. That's my sandwich. Sorry, if you want to see your fucking kid again Just breaking that breaking that kidnapper voice. Oh fuck. I stepped on something Dude, I read a news article this morning that I was like, this is a hundred percent Lewis

If he got into karaoke this guy in Florida was just at a karaoke bar drunk and they're arguing with him He just pulled the fucking gun and just started shooting. He was just like I want wanna finish my song. And just started blasting and I was like. No, I don't have the type of confidence when I sing karaoke. But if you did. When I sing karaoke, I'm like in my own head, I have one hand in my pocket. What's your song?

Nobody's gonna like this. Oh, you just look at your feet and shuffle? My problem, I'm, so good karaoke songs, you need range for. Need to be able to sing. Like I need to fucking, like the karaoke songs that I choose like people are like can we get a drink now? It's like it's terrorist like Friends in Low Places. Great. But not a good karaoke song. It's a great drinking song so people are like let's go get a

drink while this guy fucking sings this monotone song. Because people get into it with the how dat friends. So by the time they get to that part where everyone's singing, he's saying, I got friends in low places, maybe 30 times in a row. And then everyone comes in, everyone's like, dude, fucking why such a long song? Please get off the stage. Song sucks. I feel like you're, like you have the energy

to be good at karaoke. It's sweet transvestite that's my sweet transvestite and if i go second it's uh tenacious d uh fucker gently nice yeah whenever i'm on the road in the south of whoever my feature is like what do you want to do it's like karaoke i will do sweet transvestite and really split the room yeah well also though you have like the way you dress, the way you look, people's eyes are drawn to Zach. You would just look like you were fixing the lights

and that you wanted to take a run at it. You know what? I'm sick of fucking putting up these lights. Time for a little Garth Brooks action. Yeah, Zach is ready to perform. Yeah, little Garth Brooks I would do. I do Johnny Cash, like Ring of Fire. I can only go deep. Yeah, but I mean, dude, so no, the one for you is fucking Worms. Oh yeah, but that's a great karaoke song. That brings people

back to the 90s. Yeah, they all know it. Not if I'm telling you, you get enough young people in a bar and they're like, what the fuck is this guy's thing? We're just not good. We're not fun, young, hot girl, karaoke age. All the songs we like are like, they're not even like cool, they're songs. We're like just, we're from a generation of people that are like just like. Sad? Yeah, we're like from an angsty teen generation.

We're like, dude, let's do some Pearl Jams. Like no young people want to hear Pearl Jam. Aw, hurr! They go, play fucking Sabrina Carpenter. I don't want to hear these sad old men sing now I saw Richard Grieco do Pearl Jam where We're at One of the horror conventions

So the best part about horror conventions is the after party because you get to find out which celebrities are alcoholics Yeah, so funny. I saw the the guy that played Jason and Jason six blackout drunk No one knows me without the mask They should invite me back for Jesus Otter was fucking sucking somebody's dick. You know, Freddy Krueger was originally gay in the movie I mean, yeah, you got it like one in the morning, go to the bar and that's what you see. You'd be like just the mom from pet cemetery blacked out. This sounds incredible.

One year I went and they were doing karaoke and I don't know if it was planned or just happened, but uh, the Cripkeeper was hosting karaoke. How does that, the guy that does the voice, the voice, okay. He's like, he's like, Hey, he has to tell everyone he's the Cripkeeper. Hey, it's me. The Cripkeeper. And they go, okay. He was like doing it in between.

John, I told you this wasn't going to work without the puppet. His name is John. We can't bring the puppet. And he did Bohemian Rhapsody as the Crip Keeper. That kind of rules. That's fun. You'd have to shut your eyes because it would fuck me up looking at some old guy

being like, Tell us when the Crip is like, it's one because I watched it as a kid. So I took it as like actual horror. But it was kind of funny and like kind of campy. Well, they would do stuff that would scare us as kids. We were just like kids, like actual horror. Yeah. But it was kind of funny and like kind of campy and like. They would do stuff that would scare us as kids. We were just like kids.

But like when you like when you look back at it now, it's like it was all just kind of silly. It wasn't like a serious show. But we were like, this is fucking terrifying. Remember the one where the guy, he was buying the young guy's body parts? Yeah. He's the guy who had that like weird old like voice.

I do remember that. Well, he had like. And he would buy, he would purchase them each. It was like different people's body parts though, right? No, no, no. There was one dude, he had a young girlfriend who was a rich guy, like a billionaire. And then he had a young girl. And he's like an actor, like a character actor where he's like, he was the, okay, he was

the uncle from Christmas Vacation. Oh, with Eddie? A weird voice. Randy Quaid? No, his wife, the older uncle. Oh, he's like, I know what's going on. Christmas Vacation. His wife packed the cat. Yes.

Yeah, that guy. The one where, you're talking specifically about Christmas Vacation. The guy that smokes a cigar and blows up a block. Yeah, that blows up everything. Yes. Yeah, that guy. Well, that guy. With his voice?

Yeah, he's got a strange voice. So he plays a billionaire, and then there's like a, like a. Oh, this is a completely different episode than I thought. Young, hot girlfriend. You remember this episode? I have not, I can't think of it. Young, hot girlfriend, and then there's like a muscly dude, and she's like, she's like, I can never like be with you,

because the, he's like old. She's like, I can never be with you, you're just like too old. So he goes and like trades faces with this young young jacked dude and then fuckin', then she comes back and she's at the beach with him and she sees his body. She's like, oh, but your body's so decrepit.

And he's like, all right, I'll be right back. One second. And it's just this young dude's face with his voice now. That is funny. Then he comes back and he's got the young dude's upper torso and then they're hanging out, they're getting changed or whatever. And she's like, Oh,

look at your fucking leg. And then he goes and spends like another like couple of million dollars to get this guy's legs. And then the end of the episode, she comes back and she's with the young guy who now has all of his body parts because he's got money and this guy's poor. That's fucking hilarious. But you know what's funny is that the country of Turkey just does all that now where they go like, you want to be, you want to buy a new body part come to Turkey Is there anything funnier than the people that do the Candids at the Turkey Airport? It's just white guys with leading do regs or they'll do the the whole plane

And they'll just show like all the pod with the blood so good They all have bleeding skull one guy was so insecure flying back to Miami that he took off the gauze, which they tell you when you get your hair transplant, they're like, don't fucking take that off because it sets. It's like setting your hair. And they're like, don't take that off. And this dude was on a flight to Miami.

He was so insecure. He took it off and he was just bleeding. Like when Ultimate Warrior guy hit my Papa Shango. And they were like, we can't have you on this plane. And he was like, ugh. And he just landed it. They fucking did an emergency landing because the guy's head was bleeding.

I would do it if I could get a white guy's hair. My hair was like, you understand, I had like. You had hamburger meat? I had fucking, it was like Rocky Maivia hair. So when Rocky Maivia came out, my sister would call me Rocky Maivia. Did that get you into fights? And I would call her Max Moon.

That's fine. Max Moon is always with her dreads. She would do a flip over the top. She'd give her a shitty jet pack or she jumps up on the apron. Max Moon is such a funny name to call your sister. Max Moon is a fucking just, maybe the shittiest character ever. Did he have another identity at one point? He must have been a a wrestler like I said this on the regs and I was wrong I thought it was also to Tonka he wasn't also to talk Max Moon you thought was the time yeah he wasn't he was another guy though but he was another guy but his max moon was such a 90s bring up it we'll put up a picture

of what max moon looks like on the bottom he looks hilarious there was that era it was during the there was like a three or four year period where WWF became just for children I mean, it's where everyone had a job. Yeah, yeah Duke the dumpster. Drosi. Yeah, the race car driver. Oh, man Which is so funny my mom hated the repo man. That was her least favorite wrestler I learned I learned that like My dad was like wait, there's a guy called the repo man and then no shit six months later his car got repoed well and I kept thinking it was yeah I was like well don't worry I think no mom I Erwin or schaisser put a lien on your bank account my mom's like

million-dollar Inc is after us my mom had to file bankruptcy because a repo man poured a million dollar Inc now he should have been though that was he was he was in He was Smash. Smash from the end. In demolition. Of course. But when my dad's car got repoed, I was like, damn, hopefully Tito Santana can do something about this.

Mom, Razor Ramon says you owe him a lot of money. That's so funny. He was such a bad guy here. It was such a funny moment in Jamaica. I was such a fucking oblivious idiot. Some Jamaican guy comes up to us. We're all at the villa. And it's not a private beach.

It's semi-private. It's like a quarter mile down the beach. There's a little ice cream stand and shop. You can buy, like, fucking get your hair braided and shit. And so the Jamaicans will come, when they know there's people in the villas, they come up on the beach and they try to sell it. Sell their wares?

Yeah, yeah. And this one guy, he's like, hey, man, what's going on? What's your name? And I was like, Oh, Lewis. He's like, my name's Columbia. What's going on? I was like, Oh, Hey Columbia, what's going on? And then, uh, what was the other reference you made? He made one other reference. Uh, fuck, it was a cocaine reference. And I didn't get it at all. Everyone's like, no, we're good. I was like, no,

he's a nice guy. What are you even doing? Where's me now? And they're like, he's trying to sell you cocaine Lewis, Columbia Fuckin name his first name's yeah Everyone everybody around here caused me deviated septum. What's that? What's the movie about cocaine? Whoa, no, no, no the other one Wall Street. No, no, no You know, the Al Pacino? Oh. Scarface. Scarface, yeah.

Really? You were referencing Scarface? No, I don't remember who it was. I just saw a Puerto Rican dude with a jacket that was like, the world is mine all over it, and it said Scarface on the back, and I was like, you know he dies in that pool. It's not a movie, it's a real drug dealer I'm thinking of.

What's the Pablo Escobar? Yes, yes. He called you what? No, he goes, what's your name? Pablo, I'm looking for Pablo. And I was like, there is no Pablo here, sir. I wanna hit him with the jerky voice. Paco!

Paco, over here! Paco, I think he's talking about you! Oh, we got a bite, Paco! And it also is funny that you're like, Pablo? And he's like, my friend Pablo? And you go like from the Jerky Boys. He's like, excuse me? You're doing obscure prank phone call reference albums.

His name was Columbia and he was looking for Pablo. He was like, there's a Pablo here, right? I'm Columbia. I'm looking to stay up all night and start a small business with ya. Do you want to hear a story? That goes on forever and ever? I'd be grinding my teeth. You're like, why are you telling me all this? Do you want cold sweats? Yeah,

I'd be bad at that. I was always bad at drug deals. Also, I feel like you can't do cocaine on the beach. You're going to get sand up your nose. Yeah. No one wants blow mix with sand. It's terrible. You go, ah, it's up there. You go, ah, fuck, I got sand up there. When I was at the, this was like the closer of my first special, but it's a true story. When I was at the Cabo Comedy Festival. Yeah, I remember that.

It was like, they did that like a year. Yeah, yeah, it was. Way to get in when you can. It was me, it was like Derek Gaines. There was like nobody at the sisters. We were the drawers at the festival and there was nobody at Gaines. There was like nobody at the sisters. We were the draws at the festival and there was nobody at the shows. They put us in like cantina, like shitty bars.

And they were, you know. It means you go down to Mexico to do bar shows? When you do a bar show in the States where it's like the game is still on, like it was like that, but it's Mexico. So there's like a drunk, sleepy Mexican at the bar. There's soccer on TV. Go on in the back, it's like,

everybody was about that. And he the back, it's like, lose again. That's so it was terrible. And I had no money to stop hitting his thigh with a microphone. Why? Every time you do it, it hurt my ear. Stop slamming your microphone. Yeah, dude. It was so bad. You're naming breakfast food. I guess there's no more to name. Signior, you're all out of breakfast. You didn't even say anything about an enchilada.

There's no chili. I know I started it back up again. Oh, no. I thought the riff was over. It's just beginning. Dude, I had no money at all. Like for alcohol or anything, I was getting paid at the end of the weekend, but I went to like Mexico.

I went to Cabo. Yeah. And so there was, and this is when I was like, am I doing blow days? This was my fucking ready to party days. I think you know, this part of my life is doing blow days. This is my fucking ready to party days. I think you know this, this part of my life is doing blow days. But I had no money, but they were given out free samples.

I wonder why. No, but I think there was a relation. Dougie, when I was doing blow, I had no money for blow. I would always spend my last 80 to a hundred dollars on blow. I spent my entire net worth on blow weekly. You are the guy that every drug dealer wants. Yeah, but just too poor. Yeah, where he goes, if they got me now,

that'd be fucking. Windfall. Yeah. They'd just be fucking stacking to cash. Yeah, I'm glad I don't do drugs now. But dude, back then, I had no money. So they were giving out free samples of cocaine on the beach. There was all the different drug dealers.

Which is, that's fentanyl. That has to be fentanyl. No, it was crazy. The fact that, and what I did was, each drug dealer, they would mix it with some sort of food coloring or something. So they'd be like, oh, that guy has pink blow, that's a good stuff, that guy has green blow,

that guy has red blow. And they would give me samples. They would take a piece of paper, and they would scoop it up, and they're like, oh, take a hit, go ahead. I was like, oh, that's pretty good, but not now. Then I'd go up the beach, like 30 yards. Oh, you were at the. I was like, Oh, that's pretty good. But you know, not now that I go up the beach like 30 yards. Oh, you were at the Costco dog.

You're eating lunch at Costco. You're like, Oh, I'm not this. You're good. I gotta go see. Oh, that's wontons. Actually, that was in the not Costco, but I was like, it's like going at the mall and getting free samples of bourbon chicken.

Yeah. I was like, nobody buys bourbon chicken. You just come back in 10 minutes. All these guys that have bourbon chicken, they just want pussy. They're just there to get the pussy. But I would get free samples of cocaine the entire time. And then I got called on an adventure. Like three of them got together and were like, you keep on coming getting samples.

Why you're so high, but you have no money? I was like, you guys fucking rule. First off, I feel like we're the best of friends. And Pink guy, I love Pink. me and Perp get along perfectly. I wonder if there's a person in Mexico telling stories about like when the cartels had it good, they're like, we used to just handle our free samples until this one, they changed the policy because of me,

until this one guy saw much cocaine, no money. Fucking, I mean, you just get yakked out and then. I got yakked out on the beach. The thing about coke is it makes you want to do more coke. So what would happen when you get yakked out, you just go try to find another free sample. Try to find another free sample. Would they give you a free sample

if you're standing over them like, fuck it, bigger. They're like, we can only give you a little bit. I mean. So what does this cocaine do? It doesn't seem. I love you. It didn't seem like a very, uh, sustainable business model. No. Yeah. Terrible.

That's why they have to behead people now. That's why they have to spread fear because they tried to free sample. That should have been the ending of my life. Right there is me being beheaded by a Mexican Cortell You know Lewis never made it back, but apparently you caught him in their Costco phase. Yeah, they go bulk. They'll buy in bulk You give out a little they come back. They buy a lot. This is Kirkland cocaine You go it feels like regular cocaine just a little cheaper. Yeah, when was the moment that you were like, I'm done doing blow? Did you have a moment?

Once I started taking Adderall. It's so funny. I traded it in for government. No, no, honestly, it was me and Karen Fian were dating. She would blackmail me and threaten to tell Beatrice that I was doing a bunch of drugs. So Beatrice would take my child to another state. This is a very toxic relationship.

Can I tell you right now? Me and Karen Fian had. It's not Karen Fian. You have had, you have been in some elite forms of toxicity. I mean, every Kim Kongden story is like, Kim and I are at the airport, I don't know how she gets a blade in there. But it's out at the gate. Well me and Kim got into a fight at the airport with a black chick that was

behind her. Like Kim had her bag like a couple rows back. Hey, you told me the story. Yeah, and she was like, Hey, can I get it? This black chick's like, no. And Kim's like, bitch, give me my fucking back. And then they just went at it. And then I was like, Oh, well, here we go. So I'm gonna let my girl get beat up by a fucking black chick. That's insane. So the girl comes out and I'm like, oh, well, here we go. So I'm gonna let my girl get beat up by a fucking black chick. That's insane. So the girl comes out and I'm like, I start talking shit to the girl and the fucking girl's talking shit to me. Was this on the plane still?

This is like on the... Walkway? Yeah, the walkway. So I'm like, so I'm trying to hold Kim back. I'm like, bitch, shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch. She starts taking her cell phone out to like video tape me. I grab her phone from her and I go, I just threw it down the airport.

Dude, and like literally, I just threw it. I've never thrown so beautifully in my life. You just heard it go, in the distance. And then, so then, you know, the airport people, they... Do the people jump off the wheelchairs with the old people to break it up? No, the employees of the airline are like, you gotta wait, we gotta get security. And me and Kim were just like, this isn't gonna go well. At this point, I had spit in the girl's face I threw a cell phone across

the airport so uh... Tilted sounds like a real bitch Tilted's like he's diamond just let him do it He's a million mile mark guy just fucking let him if he says the n-word we'll break it up So me and Kim we did we left and we were like we got to split up because they're looking for two phone. Like, zoinks Kim, I didn't know you were gonna start with that black shirt. That's fucking wild. Yeah dude, we literally, we split up.

We took our jackets off and Kim put a hoodie on because they were looking for both of us. We watched security, it actually was like security. We watched security running this way or running that way. We went out, we took separate Ubers home. That's so funny. You're someone's Jason Bourne. Yeah. We're like, I'm way or running that way. We went fucking, and we went out, we took separate Ubers home. That's so funny.

That's, you're someone's Jason Bourne. Yeah. Where they go, we got him. He's outside in a different hoodie. Yeah. Did you wear Kim's hoodie? It's like a pink, juicy one. It's, she's in a fucking real ass podcast.

Dude, that's, yeah. I've hear stories about this all the time in your life. I used to be in very toxic relationships. I don't do that anymore though. It was always black male. Like what you said, like Karen. That was a black woman. You would film, but Karen would film you doing coke and being like, I'll lose you custody. Yeah.

She was threatening me to tell Beatrice specifically with the implication that Beatrice would take my child away to another state. Can I tell you something? And then I took the power away from her. specifically with the implication that Beatrice would take my child away to another state. Can I tell you something? And then I took the power away from her. That Zach and I both experience as both men in good relationships is yours gives us more power. So like we hear about your stories and we go, I got it great. You're going to leave today, Katie, I'm going to be like, Hey, I love you. She's going to be reading.

She'd be like, what? I go, thanks for not starting shit with a black lady on an airplane. Hey honey, another housewives, go ahead. Yeah, you know what, load it up. I'll watch it with you. She goes, what's gotten into you? I go, us not fighting at an airport. Yeah, and then.

This thing's a Vanderpump, it's a real. Pass the popcorn, I love you, you crazy bitch. I took the power away from Karen, and I just told Beatrice, eventually I was like, I'm not gonna be blackmailed by a fucking. Were you on cocaine when you did this idea? So you know.

Oh yeah, watch this, hey Beatrice, I'm pretty fucked up on cocaine right now. And she goes, why are you telling me this? Yeah, no, so I told Beatrice and I was like, yeah, I'm fucking doing drugs. And I was like, I gotta like stop. And then I got into therapy and I started taking Adderall, which was good for my ADHD.

It wasn't like a supplement for cocaine. Was it good for your podcasting partners? It was, it wasn't good for Kurt Mansker. I'll tell you that much. He got a drink thrown in his face. I'll tell you that much. Shout out by the way, still the best shirt that I wear at every Skank Fest.

Banished 21 made me that picture of you throwing it, but he made it look like a Roman painting, like a classic. That was mine and Kurt's co-headlining tour poster. Was it really? It was like, yeah, what's his name? Fucking comedy artwork. Yeah.

He's from DC, that guy's awesome. He like brought it to life in like a drawing, and we used that as the tour poster, the this shit end well tour. As wrestling fans, what was great about it was even the girls got into it. So it was Curt and Lewis with a side thing of Annie Letterman versus Kim Kongden.

That was great. Well, Kim, here's what I'll say about Kim to this day. And I love Kim. Kim, we're very good friends to this day. I love her boyfriend. Thank God he's around. Yeah. He's the man.

I've never met him, but Kim rules. He's the man. Kim rules, met him, but Kim rules. He's the man. Kim rules, but Kim is genuinely fucking ride or die. Like legit, like I'm talking about fucking- That's that Puerto Rico. Yup. So as soon as like- You guys get together and there's like-

Well she also- Like, Papi, Noah's gonna come in with you. She was the reason I even got out of control to begin with, to be honest with you, because Kurt, me and Kurt had gotten into an argument like months before. You guys, also, you guys have been getting into arguments since Big J has introduced you to Kurt. It's not even like arguments. Kurt was very disrespectful to like me and Dave. He's very dismissive. Like this fucking generation of like older comics and the last of the cellar. They got it from like Patrice and Bobby and then they were like, oh, we have guys to be

shitty to now and we're so nice. Like I call my opener, special guests. I'm like, my special guests. He's the fuck. Like comes up with a lot of them are retired. But like Michael come out with me. That's also you would tell James when they sleep over. He goes, special guest, special guest, special guest, new mom. Oh my God. You know, my dad can beat up Batman. Honey, whatever you're feeding this kid. Well, let's see if he can beat up me

Also would date that female from the Batman Hey, baby, this guy says you got to stop robbing the bank. Who's this? This pussy dressed like a bad. You don't even get to the bank before they break your hand. Look at all my hair. Look at all my fucking hair. Can I do 15 tonight Mr. G. Gomez?

Mr. G. Gomez. I got a podcast idea. And he goes, That's a brilliant idea. Are you going to shut down your podcast network? You're polluting the streets of Gotham. I'm gonna shut down your podcast network. You're polluting the streets of Gotham with too many ad reads. I just reported your podcast to YouTube. But you know what's funny is like, you're absolutely right.

That old generation of comics would be like, you suck, you stink. Then I noticed a lot of them don't like the threat of physical violence. Oh yeah. Where you go, I'll fucking slap you. And then they go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They're like, you can't do that. That's the great equalizer in the world. It's like at one point, there was a line where you stop being a comic and you start being

real. You start being a man. Well, it's like, you see it all the time. It'll be like just like some dude that works at the airport. Like you see a video, a viral video, and it's like some dude's like just you see it all the time. It'll be like, just like some dude that works at the airport. Like you see a video, a viral video, and it's like some dudes like just punching some customer in the face. You're like, Oh no, no, they got to the line where he stopped being an airport employee. That's called how to be real. He started acting like a real airport.

I'm sorry. Like a CVS employee. Yeah. Real air dude. It really, really her dudes. Great. We might have to call the episode real air, real air dude, but it really is like when someone breaches that line and you go, uh, well now you're going to get beat up. Yeah. Well, which, and I'm not like, which should use our words. We should always use our words. Sure. But there is a, everyone's got a line. Everyone's got the point where they go, I'm not a comedian anymore. I'm going to bite your fucking nose off. And the Japanese surrendered. We didn't need to drop the new drop the new.

It's a little different world. Yeah. I always love airport, that airport video, the one guy that looks like big J you guys, that's like a famous one. Oh yeah. I know where it gets like tuned up by the dude at the airport. What has to suck is if you're going on vacation and then you get the shit beat out of you. Cause you're like bitchy. Cause you're like, um, where's my bag? And the guy's like, not today today buddy and then you just keep pushing into the next as you just getting fucking worked online were you ever afraid of that getting beat up in a internet video you're my only friend where i would have to

genuinely worry about that like when you're yelling at a cab driver any of the lewis moments were you ever worried so i wasn't uh there was a time where like I crossed the threshold of being known where I started going, I gotta stop doing this. Like I got, I got, I got it too, uh, early, you know what, dude days when none of us were known, none of us were known. So like I would just fuck, I was, I would walk around like I could do anything and there was no repercussions. You really lived life like grand theft auto when you give up on the missions?

I don't care about it. I fucking, I bang a hooker and then beat her to death with a baseball bat and take my money back. Your money goes back up, you walk around with those bonuses that go in there. Uh oh, two stars, gotta run. Later guys, I'm out. That was you and Kim at the airport.

Kim, we got things close, we got two stars. Kim, we have three stars, we gotta go right now. Oh, you never finished about Annie and Kim though, cause Kim's so down. Me and Metzger had gotten into like an argument over some dumb shit, you know, months before. It was me and we were doing a big Jay show and I was on stage and Metzger lit me

to like get me off stage cause he decided it was his time. I remember that. Yeah, yeah. So which is like people that aren't in comedy don't understand how disrespectful it is. I'll tell you what's the real like flash of light. Like he stood up in the middle of the room with like all Legion of Sanks fans and he goes like this with his cell phone ago, like wrap it up, like wrap it up like he's got to go. And then he didn't have to go. So I got off state. I got, I don't think I guess he's got to run to

another spot. So I was like, Oh, ladies and gentlemen, Kurt Madsen. I was hosting the show and then I go back up and then I come back off and he's just in there. He's like, Oh, you want to smoke a joint? And I'm like, oh, ladies and gentlemen, Kurt Madsker, I was hosting the show. And then I go back up and then I come back off and he's just in there. He's like, oh, you want to smoke a joint? And I'm like, why would you light me? And then it like just, it devolved from there. Like me and him started fucking. Someone lighting you early that isn't the club,

that also isn't headlining, cause it was Big Jay's show. It was crazy. Someone doing that is the real world equivalent of someone coming into your desk and just taking the stuff you're working on off and going like you're done. And you're like, it's not, you're not even my manager. It was just nuts. And the whole, it was, and he just, whatever it was, like we just had a very disc and he was always very dismissive and very kind of country. And I just been done. Like at that point, he'd like, I just remember like remember like it all flashed like every time he was just kind of like disrespectful,

we're all like fucking with it. You replayed everything and you're like, not again. So, you know, I started barking at him and he starts barking back at me. And then I'm just like, all right, motherfucker, let's go. Um, and then we diffused there. That's at the comedy store. No, this is months before that. Okay is at like the Irvine Improv or one of those. Yes, it was. It was what? This is the prequel. Yeah, this is when you see this, you go.

This is why. Oh, that all makes sense. And we didn't speak after that. Months go by. Well, I remember Big Jay telling me about the Irvine Improv because Jay got off stage and the staff was like, we had to break up with Lewis and Kurt.

They were fighting. And Jay was like, he had like post show. I love Kurt, but they didn't have to break us up. Kurt wasn't ready for the seat. Woo! That night we were at the comedy store. Kurt ain't Batman. Kurt ain't Batman.

I tell you this, Kurt wasn't trained by the League of Shadows. But I am a Joker goon. So then I'm walking into the comedy store, or no, we're both at the comedy store a month later, or whatever, and I walk right past him, I don't say anything, right? You bitch. So you could tell someone was raised by a mom, and you do stuff like that where you go like, I'm fine.

Yeah, I walk past him, I don't say anything. Now Dave and Big Jay and Kim are outside, so then Kurt starts popping crazy shit in front of them. He's like, he's like, he's not gonna say hi to me. He's gonna disrespect me. He's like, oh, you know, I'll fucking and he's whatever he's saying. It's like very over the top. Yeah. So Dave comes to me and Dave's like, dude, just so you know, he was like, Kurt, not only like easy anger, he sounds like he wants to fight you. So just be, be aware of that. Dave's just in my boy. Me and Dave fucking, we've been friends since we were teenagers, right? Kim, she's like, baby,

he wants to fight you. She's like, do you remember, do you remember the fucking black lady at the airport? It's that times 10. She started getting me really going. So I, maybe I, raise her blade out of her cheek. I texted him or he texted me. One of us asked the other one. You guys are still at the, you're both in the car. He left to go to a spot or whatever, but then he's talking crazy shit in text messages, like crazy shit. He said, uh, he was like, I'm going to stab you

and leave your son fatherless. Like your father left you. that was the thing that got me and I was like okay sounds aggressive it's also funny because if you just took that kind of energy but if Lewis was sexting with like a hot girl he'd be like she knew everything to say she had a stab you and leave your father's like oh I'm gonna come oh what are you doing come by so he's. Not even just like, I want to fight you. He's like, I'm going to stab you. I'm going to leave your father. Listen, yeah, it's a wild line. That was the line that really, I was like, oh, when I, I was like, when I knew about the Coke, you can tell Beatrice. I already told her, it's like, what are you? What? Yeah. So yeah. Then he,

so he's, he's gone at this point. He's gone in another doing a spot So then we have to do two Legion of Stanks back-to-back and you guys also at this point have a whole tour playing together No, okay. This is years before the okay. All right, right? It's all Mishmash and so then big Jay and Tony and Tony his clothes on pockets He's like, why don't we get Kurt Metzger to come back here and do the podcast with us. And we're just why Tony's brilliant. Yeah. He goes, watch, watch these two big pieces of meat slam into each other. Brilliant. Brilliant. So then I'm like, I mean, at this point, like, it's just kind of like, I'm

already uncomfortable and angry. I'm also pretty like early in my podcast, not early in my podcast group, but early enough that I'm not like, I'm just not composed enough to like try to make it funny. I'm fucking pissed. I will tell you right now that I want to say you, after James hit the age of around eight or nine,

you mellowed out significantly. Yeah. Because I think what it was- Why does that shit have to lose now? Well, I also think it was James started seeing you as a person, not just like, he wasn't just like a baby. Well, once he had memories, he's four or five years old, you wanna fuckin', you know, you're trying to be a role model.

But also, it's like, James is so smart that there's moments where like, at the Knicks game, Jay told me that James was like, Dad, stop yelling at security. Now, you can hear his voice and you'll be like all right I'll fuck it I won't freak well they tried to separate me from my child I like that the thing that always triggers you is like never take me for my boy yeah it's like I'll leave him fatherless and you're like well now it's a blood that are so uh yes the master came on the podcast and he was just fucking just being call me an idiot

And you could tell by the way Kurt is in full he's got the vape We'll put it under here. We'll show the clip. Well, he's like got the vape and he's doing the like We'll put it under here. We'll show the clip. He's like got the vape and he's doing the like, Louis is retarded. So I'm going, yeah, he's, once again, just being dismissive, being fucking. Cause Curtis is very, very smart. And the thing about Curtis, to this day, one of my favorite comics, hilarious. I'm a good friend with this, but we made up, like this was like,

they got caught on video. Most people don't get caught with their fucking crazy moments with their friends on video. But I'm also going to tell you in your defense on why it would make me crazy. Kurt is smart. So he's good at talking down in a way that makes you fucking. Well he also knew exactly what to say to get me going. Like in text messages, he's writing like crazy shit. It was actually way worse. It was like, it was, it was a very long back and forth and it's like just saying crazy shit. So I'm worked up to the point where I'm like, Oh,

I'm just going to fuck you up when I see you. This isn't like I'm, I'm now the airport employee that's becoming the CVS employee. I was like, I'm not trying to be funny at all. You're preaching, bro. This isn't even a part. I was like, I was like, when he comes here, I was like, I know it's not going to go well. I said it was a bad idea and he just started, he starts fucking cutting and being fucking shitty. So then I was like, Kurt, when we get outside, I'm going to fuck you up just so you know, like it doesn't matter. We can sit here all day long, keep on talking shit. When we get outside, it's not even a debate. I'm

going to fuck you up. He goes, make a move and we'll see what happens. And I go, okay. And I grabbed a drink and I threw it at him and big J blocked the drink and then we fucking, um, you know, you know, which the picture is. I mean, the picture is a great moment. And you are ready to go. You're standing up ready to go. I guess. So I literally, we end the podcast. I run outside. I stands up a little after you throw the drink. Not at this point. He's going, what's wrong with you, man? I was like, okay. And then I was like, oh, what's wrong with me? Being a fucking lunatic.

But then it spills out into the spills out into the street. Is that like the little back parking lot? Uh, like towards the front. Okay. And I don't want to shit on Kurt. I love Kurt, but Kurt now is surrounded by security and now he's talking shit behind security guards. I was like, I was like, move them out of the way. I was like, you're talking shit, do something about it behind security guards. I was like, I was like, move them out of the way. I was like, you're talking shit, do something about it. So then Kim is just like, she's in my back and she starts talking shit to Annie Letterman who's dating Kurt. She's just like, this is what we're doing. We're fucking this couple.

By the way, at this point it is a couple activity. It is a couple activity. You know, we're bonding. Yeah. Kim, Kim grabbed Andy's glass off her head and threw them in the street. She's like, let's fucking go bitch Oh my god, I want to kill you. God. I love you Someone kiss me You guys didn't fight her Kim would have gotten pregnant. Yeah That night there would have been like I need you. I know have had another son. I would have turned into Antonio Banderas.

Yeah, he's like, oh, Gile. I'll fuck you. Oh, he's like, oh, mommy. Oh, mommy. She's remembering you through the glasses. It's dangerous for Puerto Rican couples to fight. That's how babies are made. Yeah, but then he got into a taxi.

And he left. Did you ever have that moment with Kim where you're like, hey, thanks for that back there. Of course. You know, Kim's, Kim's rider died. You know, she's fucking, if Kim's on your side, she's on your side. If she's against you, you're in trouble. She's on your side. You got the world. Did she, we would get into arguments dude, and she would fucking throw stuff out the window. I remember one time I was,

I was running from her and I was too fat to outrun her. So I was hiding between cars in Harlem and she's like, run fat, I'm coming. Wait, hold on. I believe the quote was. If anyone sees a bald, fat Edward looking for a screaming it, it's like Debo. She's like riding her bike down the street You know Kim coming Kim coming hiding behind cars while she's screaming run fat

So fuck how do you guys make up after that? We I'm gonna long contentious fucking relationship, but like how do you in a moment like that? How do you come back to being like, this got a little crazy back there. We just did. Once we broke up and like moved beyond that, because it was really toxic and shitty, you know what I'm saying? And it was very, a lot of it was my fault. I'm not, you know, it's not, I drive women.

She's probably gonna isolate that clip and just have it. I drive women nuts. Yeah, dude. Every, the most sane woman has like, every woman up until the past like three or four years, every woman I've ever dated has punched me in the face. Jesus Christ. But I goad them into it. Because I want the psychological advantage

of being like, you hit me. Oh my God. Yeah, it's fucked up. But also, the lovemaking has to be beautiful. Yeah. We're very passionate. We're very passionate lovers. When you get to that level of craziness,

you gotta go, well, there has to be like a sexual outlet for this or they're just like, or you're just mentally abusing these women. Me and Kim were at a UFC event. This is like, I mean, I was, at this point I was hosting the pockets of Bisping. So I, this could have been so bad you were plugged in dude I was plugged in and she got fucking hammered we got into a fight about whatever

I don't even remember what the fight was about but at a UFC event Which there are guys there that are gonna comment on your fight looking to get into a fight with you and looking to take your girlfriend Yeah, a hundred percent. That's like but this was outside. We're're like having a crazy argument I remember there was all this traffic leaving the Barclay Center yeah crazy amount of traffic and it was just like dead stop traffic and oh you told me this story me and Kim were fucking going at each other and then uh didn't the cops get involved yeah I'll tell you so but Ralph was in a car with like a Russian model like that he was dating I want to go to the restaurant and they were sitting there with like a Russian model like that he was dating. I want to go to the restaurant right now.

And they were sitting there and the Russian model. Hold on, I gotta see, is that Louis? No, she's the girl that goes, look at these crazy people, they're fighting. And Ralph goes, that's my business partner. That's the G in gas digital. And I remember once again, I started running from Kim. You ran a lot.

I ran a lot. I ran a lot. She's Freddy Krueger. You ran a lot from her. a lot. I ran a lot She's Freddy Krueger You ran a lot from her She's just putting her nails on the wall Everywhere you run, I'm looking for a fat bald n-word It's just Freddy Krueger's voice

Can't escape your dreams Can you get my luggage for me you black bitch It's like eeeeee Nails going down Holy shit Did you get my luggage for me? Then you guys having makeup sex with Freddy Krueger, sorry Lewis you just drive me crazy. You drive me so crazy. So I ran from her and then I found cops. And I was like, Oh, you gotta help me. There's a beautiful Puerto Rican woman and she's coming to kill me.

And they're like, alright buddy, chill the fuck out. Oh, they're like, we got a 371 in progress. They go, we got a fiery Puerto Rican woman coming down. So I was like, She's trying to kill me please please help me

Then all the cops started laughing in my face yeah, and then I was like no you're gonna stop her They were like yeah, they were like laughing and then I was like oh Get away She a giant pussy that I'm looking for? And they're like, that young love. It must be spring. These lovers are out here. Yeah, dude, but you're right.

I mean, what a bad idea to tell cops you have a domestic abuse problem. But it's better that it was him and not her. Oh, no. That would have been fucking. She was like, help, help! Then it'd have been like, oh, you were gonna beat the shit up. Well this is why I know she's not truly evil,

cause she literally could have just went up to him and been like, he hit me, and then I'd be fucking done. Yeah, then you're done. So she, so good job. Good job being acceptably crazy. No, she, look, you know, it was, it was both of us being crazy. But anyway, the last time I did a Adderall was the night

of the me and Kurt thing. And then you were like, cause I was like, I can't be on Adderall. I'm like, cause I'm fucking, cause I, I started off on a regular dose that you need for ADD. Sure. And then soon enough, you're like, I can just lie and say it's not working anymore.

So then you're taking 60 milligrams of Adderall every day, just fucking losing your mind. Dude, I took one time I took like a 40 milligram dose when I was still drinking at a wedding, cause I had been drinking all week and I was like, I need something to end it, shot me to like two days later. You wake up with the groom three days later.

Zach, what did we do? And he goes, everything. And I go, I knew it. I knew we were headed there. Yeah, dude, Adderall for me is like, I'm annoying regularly. So on an upper, it was bad. I feel like you don't do uppers. Do you, oh, you do coke. What am I talking about? It's been a while.

And you used to when you party. Yeah, I've calmed down a lot. Yeah. I mean, Zach and is your fucking bachelor party. Yeah. I talked to you guys and you were like, Oh boy. You told me how I went down. And I was like, I'm glad I'm sober because that shit sounded fucking nuts. Hold on. I'm trying to time out who I was with during Zach's bachelor party. Which which who was I? You're in trouble. What are you talking about? That bachelor party was we know that happened.

No one remembers it. And none of your exes are watching. That was the night that Shane got SNL. Oh, yeah. 2019. We got and then on the night of Zach's wedding, I got so hammered. He got fired. We got fired before it, but it was like two or three days before your wedding. And then I remember Pat and Oswald started tweeting about Shane. Yep.

And then I had a drunken tirade against Pat and Oswald. Photo booth at a alligator bar. It's so funny. You got like drunk eyes tweeting Pat. Cat eyes and you go, number one, you are a waste of time on King of Queens. He's a good character. I started tweeting him and then Pat Oswald. He's the man. Sent me a DM and was like, hey dude, can we just talk?

And I got on the phone with him like the next day and he was the sweetest guy ever. Pat Oswald is the fucking man. He sent James, he sent me videos or like audio recordings. Like when, James is very young at this time of him doing like Ratatouille and then also max secret life of pets. Yeah, dude. He's the fucking man Yeah, Pat Oswald's man, and he also apologized to Shane

Yeah He was like one of the few celebrities that bashed him at first and then immediately publicly was like I was wrong Patton's a man. Patton is the fuck. I only remember that the dates of it were perfect because At my wedding by one friend Brought me a newspaper it said shanky was fired from SNL for comments made on loose Gomez and Zac Amiko's real ass Fuck yeah, and he circled it. He goes look at your wedding day. Isn't that perfect? That's fun Well, you got canceled for ones that he made on his own But then they started digging up the other ones and they were all real ass podcast clips. Yeah wasn't even the big show. Yeah

started digging up the other ones and they were all real ass podcast clips. Wasn't even the big show. I got wings with him that night, where he got SNL, because we were both in Queens, and he was like, should I go to Zac Amico's bachelor party? And I was like, I wouldn't. You're gonna get fucked up. And he was like, yeah, I think he went though, right?

He went, I think. Yeah, he went and had some beers. Because he was like, I'm gonna go have beers. Beers. He goes, yes, beers. We all had had some beers. Yeah. Cause he was like, I'm gonna go have beers. Beers. He goes, yes. Beers. We all had beers. But he told me, he was like,

This was also during the era that we had an employee that was buying designer, designer X's off the dark web. Dark web Nate, dark web Nate from Australia. And he, one time at Skanks was just like, I said something about like pure MDMA or whatever. And then whatever, he goes, it's not that hard to get Like I don't want to buy drugs on no, yeah, he know he would bring great but it was like not even just ecstasy It was like there was children letters

Like hearts the pink hearts were wild Well, I we took those the man took those to Jamaica and we snuck them in by we went to Dylan's candy shop I got a bunch of different like candies shot out threw them in there and don't candies knows that they're used to bring drugs into other countries. Well, they do now Dylan you're a fucking birdie. You're the fucking man. Yeah, dude, but yeah, we did a bunch of fucking crazy drugs Bang some hookers that couldn't get hard for come with that's just a waste to do drugs and then bang a hooker. You're like, what are you doing? Also hookers are game worn.

So my question is, do they, they probably prefer if you can't get your dick hard. No, I think they want to get it done. I remember one time I was on blow and I ordered a hooker to my apartment and uh, I mean, I was just like trying and trying and I couldn't do it. And this Asian bitch, I was like, I I go to the bathroom I'll be right back and then I came back and she was running to leave you can't get high no dear it was brutal I would be so apologetic you'd be apologetic if you couldn't get hard for a hooker? Yeah, I'd be like, I'm sorry. You're a pro.

What am I doing? You're beautiful. You're so beautiful. Can we kiss? Can we just kiss? I'm glad you can't get hard. I feel like drugs always make it hard for you or it's difficult to get hard on drugs.

But that's always what leads to buying a hooker. Yeah. I think with coke, it's more, I'm on Coke so I can drink more. Yes. And then I do more Coke and then I drink more. And then that's when the hooker decision comes in and you're way past that point. Dude, I was in hookers also at a time

when I didn't have money for hookers. So I would spend 100% of my net worth on a hooker sometimes. So it was to good baby? You go, well, it's gotta be, because I can't pay rent next month. So yeah, this is at a time where you would go to the Village Voice, and you'd go to the back of the Village Voice. And it was before there was like, I mean, there was internet, but you couldn't.

It was literally your nut for the month. Yeah, it is. Well, that's my nut for the month. But I remember I would walk around looking for like the little Red Village Voice kiosks and I'd walk, I mean, blocks and blocks and blocks. I was like, where's this goddamn Village Voice? That's your story to James of walking to school uphill. You go, I had to go find a newspaper to get Hookers.

Now you can just dial them up right on your phone. It's pretty wild. Yeah. I mean, it's, I wonder if hookers miss the old newspaper days They're like getting a phone call and be like, how you doing? They had to pay for that a pay for an ad they to call the fucking village voice and be like I'd like to take out an ad. Okay. Now you get 13 words. Should I write ad copy? Come on me they go. go, you got like 15 more

letters and she's like, well swallow. Yeah, it's wild. And now hookers are just like, I would be so mad if I were like an old school 90s hooker. And then you just see now with only fans. They're like, I could have just stayed in my apartment and played with my pussy and made way more money. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I think most only fence groupers don't make a lot of money. I think a lot of these I mean, I think most OnlyFans creators don't make a lot of money. I think a lot of these gals, like, I think most.

Really? And here's the thing, it's like doing open mics. It's like podcasting. You don't know it's gonna be good or bad until you're in it for a few years, and you're like, I've just given away everything for $100 a month. What a shitty thing to realize.

We only see the top 10%. True. We're not seeing the. It's clear in 75 bucks a month 150 a monthly average this I mean these girls are They all got to go for it. They still gotta be like, all right, well time to open that little make a lot Yeah, that's like that's bumping the average up. That's gotta be that you think comics are jealous Onlyfans models when a girl just starts and she's making like 20,000 a week month. You're like she doesn't even do penetration

Well, so when I dated the webcam girl, it would be like waves like a new girl would come in Steal all the dudes for the month and they would all hate her and then they would go back to reg and then another new girl Would come and yeah what got them to come back? They just missed. It would be like the regulars, but then you would lose at any time a new trick that kind of looked like that came out. It would fuck your month up real bad.

Well, OnlyFans is brilliant because they have your credit card and you can just, you're horny, you're dicks in your hands, like, I can just click a button. By the way, you know what? And then I'm here, and now I have another girl that I'm fucking.

PlayStation does that, because when you set up your PlayStation account and they go like 20 bucks you can buy they all do it. It's all it's all it's every business model for everything now They make it easier and easier less clicks and less clicks and you're now you're one click away. Just look at your phone You know, I can see this girl's pussy just for one click. Yeah fucking to be there'll be a commercial and I'll go Would you like to buy this on Amazon? Click.

Amazon does that on their shows where they go, oh, you like this product? Just click right here and we'll fucking sell it to you. God, we gotta start doing that in our stand-up acts. Hell yeah. You know that? Click right here. Click, scan this QR code.

Dude, I need to get on the next season of Beast Games. Dude. Okay, the regs episode where you talked about this will be out. Dude, all I want to do is get on the next season of Beast Games. I would fucking love. I'll kill it.

I know you will. I would fucking annihilate on Beast Games. I would genuinely hold on because it is some physical things, right? It's some physical, some mental. They choose different. So like it's mental with the challenges. Who do we go to?

Shane and Nate are our most famous friends. But who do we go to that could plug you in? To get famous friends, but who do we go to that could get me on these games? Nate could probably plug me into beast games. Shane, maybe Shane's good. Shane's probably the better one. Nate's more famous technically, but Nate's like more famous with like adults, families and adults.

Shane's more likely to have beers with Mr. Beast. Yeah, but Mr. Beast doesn't drink. That's a big part. Cause any celebrity that drinks, you can use Shane to get to them. I'll Yeah, but Mr. Beast doesn't drink. That's a big part, because any celebrity that drinks, you can use Shane to get to them. I'll just take his name. I'm Mr. Beast now. And he goes, no, you're not.

Compete in my game. Compete in the Beast games. Dude, I could win Beast games. I think you would win Traders, too. Yes, he would. Traders, you would. Absolutely would. Traders is just mafia in a house.

You would. I want you on Beast Games I want to be on be like talking around we do this I genuinely it's here's the I don't Would I likely beat out a thousand people probably not no, but I think it should be so fun to be on Beast Games You would you would be my son would love me to be on Beast Games Oh my god would be a featured character for sure You're a person like you is wasted not being on a show like this. Also, I would just take whatever deal and backstab everybody

so quickly. The second they're like $250,000 to kick all the people off your team, I was like, yep, bye. Bye, quarter mil. Yep. See you later. Baby James just got new Air Force Ones. There's one game where they put a million dollars in a cube.

It's like the top 10 people that are left. It's like episode six or whatever. Top 10 people are left where they put a million dollars in a cube. That's like the top 10 people that are left. It's like episode six or whatever. Top 10 people are left. There's a million dollars in a cube. And these people have all become like friends now. They're all like, we're bonded. We did this together. We all got here, made the best person win. So they go, all right, you get to, somehow they draw numbers where like they all vote on the next person. So the one girl is the most popular. It was like, just honest,

but you're number one. They're like the the best numbers the best position to be in so they go all right everyone has to go into their own house you can come out you can take out as much of the money as you want and leave the rest for the other players and the first girl is like I'm gonna take a hundred thousand dollars everyone gets a hundred thousand dollars at the very least we all make that for being here. Great. Number two guy goes I'm gonna take two hundred twenty seven thousand dollars. That's so. Number three guy goes, I'm going to take $227,000. So number three guy takes $650,000. The number four girl comes out, there's $27,000 left.

And she's like, she starts breaking down crying. We're like, what would they, what is this? She takes like 5k. Then everyone else is like, it is, it is fucking brutal. But I would be ruthless. I would have taken all, I would have left $1 to be funny Yeah, like split $1 ready number two and they go is that just a dollar? Where's Lewis rolling in your money in your house? Well, they also give you all the money in singles, which is hilarious That's so stripper

They make you feel like they make you feel like a stripper because they want these big massive bags of money So everything is all in singles. Oh dude, get Lewis on BeastGames. We can do it. We can do this. Someone that watches this, is gonna come up on someone's... Well also they, like there was people that were like, oh I'm here with my wife, or two brothers were there.

It's like I feel like, it's not that they're desperate for people. The first season would've been the season to fucking get on. No. The first season. Season two, cause now what happens is... It's gonna be more money. More money and they're better at producing it.

They've been through it and they need characters. They do need characters. If it was you two from the Zach and Louis podcast, or you can Lewis and Zach podcast, I don't know. I was wanting to call it Real House Podcast, but if you guys were a team. That's what we didn't say anything. We're just watching Dan because he's such a nice guy. Just start to implode over the name.

I go, is it Lewis first or Zach? You can watch that happen. I go, is it Louis first or Zach? Can you watch that? I go, is it Zach first or Louis first? Go back to Real House Podcast. But if you had like- Do they go by weight, talent or what? It was named Louis. Oh, hair. You, but you have like, if I'm producing this show show you have something that's already like a segment where they show your podcast you're getting ready James being excited that you're on mr.

I pretended James is retarded so I have to cure James He's an actor. Yeah, you can do it. Yes, he's been in school plays. He can act special needs Yeah, so you can get on Beast Wars. You can only just keep him up for a few days That's it like put cotton in his teeth or something. Yeah Marlon Brando Going from fucking Don Corleone. He's like my dad He can beat up Batman and I believe This kids retarded. They go put it dude. I'm all for it. Let's show it. Let's make them make it happen guys

What are you? producer of beast games Let's get me on we have a mission now what a good way to end the shape I'll fucking get Lewis on fucking beast games I would love it I'm gonna pull just for the fun of being on beast games yeah so people like episode one they like lose they start crying like guys do you really think you're gonna be it out a thousand people no we're just doing it for fun no it's all for the clips I would have you get to the top five. You're,

you're five people away from $5 million, which for a lot of people is life changing money. Right. And you'll have money that it's still not enough to retire me though. Your car insurance company will go, well, now we can really get after it. I can just pay, I can pay like three, four years insurance upfront. Are we going to think about it for a little while? There's no problem. I let my ex girlfriendgirlfriend use my car. What was that down?

I know. I saw you two days ago. Oh dude, she re-rendered somebody and fucked up. There's a change of pace. And now Lewis is going, Sorry Mr. J. I got a cracked grill now, I'm fucking furious. Oh really cracked grill crack fucking grill Listen to the Lewis and Zack podcast on gas digital network comm go sign up for gas digital network comm gas digital comm whatever

Gas digital comm see completely other URL Have them both. Yeah. Okay, gasdigital.com.