Soder - 78: Space Ladies with Harland Williams | Soder Podcast | EP 76

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

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Take me up space! Ladies in space. Well what's interesting is you know there's this stereotype that women can't drive. And I didn't say it but a lot of people say it. It's out there. And did you notice it's the only space capsule that didn't splash into the ocean? Like landed in the middle of the desert? Like I'm just saying.

They go ladies it's called the splashdown for a reason. Right, like, oceans are bigger than land on planet Earth, and they missed it, okay? They were not. But what's funny is, did you hear the audio once they got into space? It was just like all of them going, oh my God, oh my God.

And you're like, this isn't the alien. They were masturbating? Yeah, they were all flicking their beams. Oh my God. I my God. And you're like, this isn't what they were masturbating. Yeah. They were all flicking their Oh my God. I'm going to fuck it squirt. The part that makes me laugh is Katy Perry started singing. Oh God. And that's where you're like, shut up.

You know what? You ever heard that old movie, alien in space. No one can hear you scream. Yeah. No one can hear you sing. Shut up. But what I love is no one can hear you sing. No one wants to hear you sing and now that we think of it no one on earth wants to hear you sing. And she like it was funny because then when they came back they were like

acting like they went to the moon. Yeah. It was 11 minutes. Oh yeah they acted like they colonized mars and they were like you know that's over blowing it but what I thought was interesting is you know it's a craft full of women yeah and we get it it's women but just to hammer it over the head they stuffed them in a giant vibrator yeah we have the rabbit lift off We have the rabbit lift off. Just jiggling. It's like, I wonder if there are seats for shaking. Oh, they had to be. Yeah.

Gale King's Cummings. Yeah. It was just an 11 minute cum ride. Yeah. That was Project Cum Ride. Yeah, that was what it was called. CUM, that's a fucking wild way to spell this project. Well, that's why they wore the wetsuits.

Did you notice? Like astronauts have these big white, these guys had skin-dye wetsuits. We're gonna be filling this thing with lady cotton. I'm like, if you're gonna send like a giant sex toy into space, at least send it all the way to your anus. You know what I mean? Like, like.

Send the dildo all the way to the butt. Yeah. Let it get some. Get it through one of the rings. Yeah My favorite part of the whole thing was when it landed because you know, Jeff Bezos his wife or his fiance was on there Yeah, who's such a second wife. She's just like built for sex Like she's got like the fake face and the huge boobs and she's just like.

Possible, yeah. I'm not gonna refute that, it's possible. I'm sure she's a great person but. Maybe a wonderful human being. Maybe something going on there. Built for sex. And then she landed and Jeff Bezos had such nerd get my pussy out of the spaceship energy

where he's like, get it out, get it out! And then he's like, he ate it. He fell. World's richest man. Yeah. Just falling down. Like such a macho moment. And he trips. He wanted to be there to be like, yeah, my lady when she opened the capsule and he's like, y'all saw it out the window.

Well, yeah. You also got to throw this into the forensic files category. Like you got Bezos, he's with this girl. She gets half if they get divorced. Does she? Well, she gets a lot. I feel like this one coming in, because the last, Bezos' ex-wife got half, and she's giving it away.

She's just fucking doling it out to anybody. I feel like the new one, the sex one, the sex sequel, she is gonna have a hard prenup to beat. Right, but that's what I'm talking about. No matter what it is, when you're at his level, you can't do the anti-freeze and the Gatorade thing. You can't do the she fell in the shower. You gotta do the 23 billion, whoops,

the rocket ship malfunctioned way up there. Oh well, on to the next. He goes, which pop stars do I wanna take out? He goes, Katy Perry, put her on there. Gayle King said some mean things about me. And then when they came back, he was like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. You gotta put people in where they're sort of the cover.

Yeah. Yeah, he's actually gotta have no animosity with them. True. To kind of mask what his forensic file murder plot is. That's true. When you're the richest guy in the world, your murder has to cost a lot. So maybe it was that, I'm just saying.

It's gonna cost a lot to save a lot. That's why he's doing it. Bingo. Thank you, Charles Schwab Jr. I love it. This is going to cost you a lot. To save a lot. But you're going to save a lot. And you're right. Pat it with people that, Oh no, I can't believe they died. And then that way Bezos, when he finds out, he can go, Oh no, she was in there. Yeah. He does like the realization. Maybe that's why he fell over, she made it back.

Shit, he's like looking in the window. He fainted, he's like, oh no, she's back. Baby, I'm back. And he goes, shit, fuck, he fell down and he screamed in the dirt, he's like, fuck, fuck. His blood pressure went so high, he just fainted. No, no, no, no, no, no, why are they here? He even gave them the wrong coordinates,

that's why they landed on the ground. He goes, they'll thump, they hit the ground, they're thumping. That'll be a shake death, like a baby shaken. That would be awesome to put people you know into space, just like asking them, being like, would you wanna, would you go to space? My first question would be why?

What did I do? Well, here's the deal too, did they really go into space? Like if you're on a Delta flight to Hawaii, did they go that much higher? Like maybe they went an Empire State Building higher. Like they were in there for I think 11 minutes and Space Mountain at Disneyland is three and a half minutes. So who really went to space and who didn't?

Who's got the real science? Is it Disney or NASA? Yeah. But also they were only, yeah, they were weightless for four minutes. And the whole entire thing took 11 minutes. Yeah. Like, yeah. And it's what three minutes up, three minutes down, four minutes of hanging. Space mountains, three minutes. A good log rides two and a half. You got a solid flume going? You're looking at five and a half minutes. Honestly, dude.

That's how they broke it down for their lady brains. Yeah, like they went, this is a flume ride. Yeah. They didn't go to Mars. They didn't colonize Mars. They didn't land on the moon. They literally sort of peeked into the upper atmosphere. I think the, the

note, the, the, the mushroom cap of the dildo got into orbit and then went, yeah. And then we went back down. Yeah. I crashed in the desert. Sorry. I lost it fast. Yeah. Is this the rock? It was apologizing the whole time. Sorry. I was supposed to go a lot longer. The real shitty, chitty bang bang. Sorry. I just got so excited. Katie was singing and I made me lose it. Maybe they were supposed to stay longer and she started singing. They're like, supposed to be a two day mission. They go, this bitch is obnoxious.

It's got to suck to be around her for the next week. Anybody that's like, cause then you sit down with her and she's like, you have no idea what space is like. And you're like, I don't. It's like when someone goes on vacation and they come back and you're like, I don't care. Yeah. And I also wonder too, like with zero gravity, right? With Katie, if you're already an airhead,

like what floats in your head? does like nothing float up to the top Or does it is that when she has her smartest thought? Yeah, maybe the brain finally go like she goes like oh She's that moment of realization. She goes. I'm pretty insufferable. Maybe I shouldn't sing ever I'm a fucking phony ever. Maybe I'm a fucking phony. And then it's going down and she's like, hand written face. Like it broke like that. Like I kissed the outer atmosphere and I liked it. Yeah. And then if you're a regular astronaut, like a guy or a girl that like spent all your time learning and training, the fact that you have to like talk to her and she's like, well, we do the same thing. Oh, yeah.

Like we're, we're cohorts. We're peers. Yeah. Like you've been to space. Yeah. John Glenn is like, yes. Yes. I dedicated my life to it. And she goes, I just wanted to go out. Yeah. Girls trip. Yeah. It was a girls trip to the moon. Yeah, and I love when she landed, she said she reconnected with love. Like you could've just done like some Molly, you had Applebee's, like you had to do all this. You could've gone to Coachella,

watched a light show, done some ecstasy. Yeah, same deal. And the thing about them doing this for Earth, I don't think Earth was like, thanks. I think the thing they did from earth was get the hell off of it. Earth was like, I was kind of hoping you would stay gone. I didn't know you were going to come back.

I was watching, cause they were like doing the coverage of everybody and Oprah was there. And Oprah looked legitimately jealous that Gail King was doing it. Like she was like, yeah, this is her thing. And you're like, Oprah, Oprah, you want to be up there so bad. Oprah's a big girl.

I wonder if the computers on the rocket ship when they're coming down, go, there's Earth, there's Earth, and they landed on Oprah. Oh my God, they do the projection thing, like in Houston, and they go, they're flying right at Oprah. Like it was just such an attraction. They're like, they're throwing in on Oprah. Which Earth do we land on?

And then Oprah's like, is that guy, guys does that look like it's coming right at me? And she opens her mouth. Ah! She thinks it's a giant cupcake. Ah! Finally, a sky cupcake. Ah!

Sky pastries commence. The aliens heard my transmission. Yeah. I would be any of those people being around you has got to be insufferable for the next week. Well, the other thing that's really dangerous is the women up there. They learn to float and like we're men. We love our women, but we all, most men have their little man cave or they want their time alone. And when a chick starts learning to float, where do you go to get away

from them? I mean, can they go to drywall? Like, what do you do when you got a floating woman? Weightlessness is not for the fairer sex. That's a man's world. We know how to flow. You are up there thinking about shopping. God knows what floating around. Scary, scary. I would be so mad if I were a female astronaut that's just like, you know, just this ugly science nerd. And she's just like, I crunch numbers.

I know how rockets work. And then she's like, I don't even get to go to space. Yeah. And then it's like, yeah, we went up. It was all right. Like it was a restaurant. Well, what about the girl that was stuck in the space station for a year?

And not to be mean, scientific smart, not the prettiest caramel corn in the basket. She, listen, I think out of all the women that have been in space the last three months, she's bottom tier, no offense, probably. Yeah, but imagine her, she got about a half hour of press and she sacrificed a whole year doing legit science. You know, I kissed a girl, goes up for three minutes and comes down and suddenly she's

getting a Nobel Peace Prize and a pair of free Crocs. They kept writing about how the people that were stuck in space yeah their bones like waste away because they're up in that weightlessness. Yeah. So they said that they when they come back there's a chance that they have the bone integrity of like an 82 year old. Whoa. So you come back and you're like wasting away and then Katy Perry's like we did the same thing. Well at least they came back with some integrity, which I don't think. Yeah, I don't know about the blue orb or whatever the fuck it was called. Bezos just launching people is a new level of wealth. Yeah, would you do it? Yeah, probably. Yeah, because I saw a lot of naysayers like that. Who's that Marcia

Kowczki, that gorgeous model who did the, the Tim Allen video, blurred lines or whatever it is. Oh yeah, Emila, I mean, Emila, Emila Rajakowski. Have a normal name if you're gonna be that good looking by the way. How about just Carol Smith? But I'll tell you what, she's been on there all day, like saying what a colossal waste of time, and showboating,

and this and that, and why would you go up on a rocket that was built by a guy who's trying to destroy the world with all his money, and I'm like, if they asked you, I bet you would've gone up in three seconds. That felt very, Emily Radziakowsky. How do you say it? Radziakowsky. That's like a name if she went up on the giant vibrator or just be like Emily Ralph.

We're just calling her Emily Ralph. Like the vibrating would fix her stupid last name. Oh, look at that. It's just Emily Ralph. Oh, it's the whole time. All she needed was a big 78 foot vibrator to sort it out. We knock loose a couple of those valves and this thing works. This thing's good to go.

But she, her entire energy was like, she didn't get invited. Like she was like, that's stupid. I don't know anybody that would want to do that. I would love to do that. Yeah, I think any of those celebs in today's Instagram world, that's like the most high profile, like, you know, selfie you'd ever want. That's like that wall in Nashville with the wings.

Oh yeah. And then you see the people taking a, it's like a line, that's the new wall, the wing wall is going to space and being like, I'm in space and it's beautiful. Yeah, it's like painted wings on a dirty wall with homeless urine all over it or actually floating and flying in space like a real angel.

I think you picked that one. I think the next step is who's the first podcast in space. No, I don't have the resources. I think it's Rogan. I think it's you. I think it's Rogan for a three hour flight. I'm saying it's you and I'm putting in a submission. Launch me Bezos.

Do you have a blue suit? Dude, I'll find one. I'll just have a sweat suit from Kmart. Do you like vibrators? Love them. You're in. Jam them in me. I'll fly to space. I didn't mean, I wanted you to fly in it, guy. Whoa. That's what I meant. This couch is blue. Can we get this going?

Just the camera angle of a couch going up my ass. I meant float the couch. You're obsessed with having a vibrator. And you just go, I gotta go guy. You stop. I want to go to a new space anywhere away from you. You just hear a low humming when we stopped talking and you go, do you have one in you right now? I think I smell fresh calamari ring. I open my mouth and go, oh.

Oh, god. Instead of that alien coming out at your rabbit. Whoa. By the way, they're called rabbits. Did you know that? What, dildos? No vibrators. Oh, vibrators?

Girls, girls love the rabbit. I learned this from doing stand up. Whenever you do a vibrator joke, they go, yeah, I got a rabbit. I learned this from doing stand-up. Whenever you do a vibrator joke, they go, oh yeah, I got a rabbit. But I feel like a rabbit is, from what I know of the dildo world, it is a small, tiny one. That's like why they call it the rabbit. Why do you know so much about this and why? What's going on, Guy?

I should tell you this, I'm infatuated with sex toys. I open it like an assassin in that closet. This is all these different dildos. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, you've got like all these secrets. Shhh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. This thing will make you come out of your ears. People are like, why do you have carpal tunnel syndrome? Shhh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

I put together too many dildos. Yeah, wow. Guy turns into a velociraptor after dildoing it up. I opened the bottom of my floor and it's just fake pussies. Wow. Whoa, whoa. I hope you don't get mice. God, wow.

How cute would it be though, one popping its head out? Yeah, yeah, that's true. Like a little s- Like a Christmas pussy mouse. Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. Just popping his little head out? And he's got a cherry on his head. Well, I'm just a little old dildo mouse. Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. Just popping his little head out. And he's got a cherry on his head. Well I'm just a little old dildo mouse.

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You don't like celebs, huh? No, but like those celebs that like being celebs. Oh, who would you send? Who would you send on a non-returned flight? Oh, this is a good, how many people, how many seats do I get? I'll give you six. Six seats.

Is that too many? No, not at all. You want a whole bus full of people. If you could give me a baker's dozen, that would be nice. You want to launch the USS Auschwitz up there. Just put the whole fucking, just a giant freighter up there. Six, what are your six? My six. Never coming back. OJ Simpson. Attila the Hun. No, they gonna be alive. No, I would probably say Who wouldn't I mind? launching into space

number one pick overall would have to be Presidency from China. No, I don't okay. I don't wait you took it back immediately I know cuz I'm just a big fan of the People's Republic of China. Oh, so you would or you wouldn't know I would fuse no, you said you would and then instantly said you wouldn't no I don't think if they're gonna be celebrities, yeah, Chris Kardashian. Oh, is that the brother? That's the mother of them Oh, that's the mother the reader the breeder. Yeah. Okay. I think I said in the head I think all six might be Kardashians, but what if she popped more eggs out into space? This is aliens. Yeah. Then it's like, and then

Kardashians aliens. Whoa. Look at how they go up. In space no one can hear you breathe. I would do, I would do, um, I would do like, uh, Chris Kardashian and then like a bunch of social media influencers Like me. Well, you're the top you're the top dog. I can't Go break the Empire. Yeah, but like those guys that do like, you know those guys that do pranks on dangerous people Oh, yeah, then when they get grabbed they go on pranking. I'm pranking. I'm pranking. Yeah. Yeah said send them

It's cuz then they would think it's a prank. Yeah, cuz he go on prank That's what you tell him when you launch him, but you said famous celebrities I feel like you're backtracking a little to protect yourself. You know what? You're right. Let's get to it Chris Chris Jenner Kardashian which is Jenner the cross Bruce that's Bruce. I would send I would send Caitlyn Jenner. I'd send Caitlyn and Chris, Chris Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner. Yeah.

And then I would send, who else were you? It makes sense keeping up with the Kardashians. I mean, how much further up could they go? You asked for this. Yeah, you won't. It's in your title. You fuck it. How about we change it,

keeping up and staying up with the Kardashians. I would say we do a complete overhaul and call it losing oxygen with the Cardassian. So I think yeah my number one pick is Chris Cardac as the mom. Yeah. What about you? Who do you have celebrity wise? Turn the tables. I think a lot of people are mad at Mickey Rourke right now. Are they? I think I don't know why. Is he your choice? His face makes me upset. Yeah. It bugs me every time I see him.

I love the wrestler, but everything after that. Yeah. He looks like he was, it looks like his face was ripped off by a chimp and then they put it back on. But instead of his face, they put the chimp's face back on. Way better. I would probably send Barry Manilow cause he's got it coming.

He does. Like just, I don't know, something about Manilow, the Copa Cabana. Playing that piano. Right. Cocky. And he did that song Mandy Standin' at the edge of time. Well, now you're going to go see your Wimbledon face. Get the fuck out of here.

What's Wimbledon face? Isn't that tennis? I love it, though. But he's got a Wimbledon face. He does. Where he looks like he's just he always is watching Wimbledon. Or somebody's been playing tennis on his face. They've been digging in the dirt and kicking it up. Okay Kenny G just because of his Shirley Temple wig. That's a wig? Earth doesn't need a wig wearing Shirley Temple clarinet playing freak. I know but some of the songs. Songs? There's no songs it's just notes. It's not notes. It's elevator music. My brother it is relaxation.

Are you kicking back on the G? My brother in Christ. What's up G? If you're pushing back in President Z, I'm pushing back on Kenny G. Z and G aren't going? Alright send them off. We should send Z and G. That would be great. Who else has one letter? We can send the whole fucking alphabet off. I think Madonna. We'll send her. Yeah. She's been begging for it. What about Michael J. Fox?

Samuel E. Jackson. Samuel L. Who's Samuel E. is his brother. Oh, Samuel L. Jackson, right. Who goes by one? William H. Macy. That's three more letters. We got, yeah. So now we're at five.

We got one more person. Yeah. Who do we send up there? I don't know. Mason Reese. Why him? Just because he looked like such a Dementoid as a kid. Yeah. Remember him? The devil ham kid. Yeah. That kid. That was like, I like mine with that one. Can you put that clip in here? There's two good things about today's high prices. There's a lot of best bags to carry in. And we get more than deviled ham.

Poor meat sandwiches for under a dollar. I like deviled ham. It just looks like he might have started SARS. He started popping up in my algorithm. Did he see? He's trouble, he's coming back. This is Kung Fu and he's got Kung Fu moves. And I like his Kung Fu moves.

Guess what motherfucker, you're going to space. You're going to space. Well I'm so, I'm just like my hair. Get the fuck out of here. And the last face we'll see out of that little portal is amazed at me. Goodbye, everybody. Why this people that's so mad about my ham.

I hope you devil's ham in outer space. I cannot eat my ham. Get out of here. Fucking later. And then Chris Kardashian go, if we get back, I'm gonna turn you into a superstar. When we get back, I'm going to breed with you. Glazed ham babies.

And we're going to make a billion. Wait, I feel a bonus one. Cause you did two and then I Daddy came in hard with like five. You had a roster. I went on a roll. And I feel like you owe us at least, you owe your fans, the people watching this. One more.

You owe them one bonus freak. I think, um. Here we go. Katy Perry. Put her back in. Really? I say, you know what? You got so used to it?

Yeah. Back up. Back up. Get the fuck back out there. Perma. And then I say, you know what? You got so used to it. Yeah. Back up. Back up. Get the fuck back out there. Perma. Perma. And then I say to like this, with the spaceship door open, I go, get the fuck back in there. Yeah. That's how I say it to her. I go, you sang in space. Yeah. Get the fuck back in. And she's got to share her like air capsule with Mason Reese. He goes, I was the number one one must the same hair as me. And she goes, shut up, little boy. I'm a man. Shut up, Reese. Shut up, you devil ham loving little boy. I can't wait for you to find this

clip and edit it in. It's startling. I think now he might've started COVID even. Like just when you look at him. He was the one that had sex with the pangolin. I think he had sex with a koala. If you look at his face, like there's a lot of koala going on. And then that dude, like you would think that guy in the seventies is one of those things where he dies young, but he lived. He lived and cute doesn't always grow into handsome. Like it's almost like he grew into the elephant man. Like he almost needs the burlap bag with the one eye hole. I'll tell you what. And then you can talk about you having him

and you nipping him. I bet if he had some choice of who's going to space, he's sending us now. Yeah. He sees this, he goes, I'm gonna talk to Jeff Bezos. Yeah. You boys are going to space

Yeah, and then you go you mean old man It's all this ham you ate ham made you feisty damn ham. Yeah, dude I don't know would you go to space if they offered it? I would but I don't think I'd be fulfilled just doing like an arch You know sure like I could climb the st. Louis arch and get the same feeling like it doesn't connected to love and then slide down and then you land and you go I'm connected more to love yeah I'd rather do that I would I'd opt in for the full journey to Mars like to a to a colony you do the sleep thing where they put you under you know yeah always in

the movies they have to like be I've've done it. I did a movie called Rocket Man where I did go to Mars and I was, I've lived all this. You had to fucking, you had to go through it. I lived it way more than they did. You did the training. I actually went to space camp down in Huntsville, Alabama and all that. Really? Yeah, we were just there. Yeah, I had to sit in the shuttle and do all the simulations. I saw Rocket Man in theaters.

Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Thank you. It was very. They did the premiere here in New York. I remember we came to New York. Yeah. And it was a packed theater. And it was like, but, but I.

I'll tell you, as a middle schooler that was smoking pot. Yeah. That movie ruled. Right? Thank you. Thank you. Eighth grade. Smoking some real stepped on weed.

Yeah. Going and watching Rocket Man. You went out there. Having a laugh. Isn't that weird? That's what I love about movies. Like, not that I'm a big star, going to watch Rocketman. You went out there. Having a laugh. Isn't that weird? That's what I love about movies. Not that I'm a big star, but to think that you were

in that movie watching this guy you'd never met. Very funny guy. And here we are. And I get the same vibe when I meet people or I meet celebrities that, like Shelley Duvall played my mother in that movie. And Shelley Duvallul is come on. And I remember going to the Shining with all my high school buddies when I was

like 16 and sitting there and little did I know fate would, you know, 20 years later, she'd be playing my mother. Like, so I still get, I don't know if that happens to you, but I, I get all that connectivity, really like, it's so cool. Opening the door. And I mean, I watched half baked. Oh yeah. Every day of senior year when I would go home. Oh wow.

I would go home and I would get stoned and on my PlayStation 2, I would put in half baked the DVD and I would just put it on and I would just hang out in my room. Oh wow. So you know me real well. I know, you feeding the horse popcorn is still one of the hardest laughs I've ever had

in my life. Yeah, you like it too, because it goes pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, yeah. It was the best. Aw, thank you. You afraid of nasty Nate in prison? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Devil, and you're circling it?

Dude, that was half baked was, that's like my generation's Cheech and Chong. Yeah, that's right. That's what I hear. So anyways, I would go, even if it meant not coming back, depending on what I had going on earth, if I was in love or something,

that would change the equation. Couple good shows coming up. Nope, even as a, it would have to be love that kept me here. And I love my family, but would have to be love that kept me here. Fair. And I love my family, but I mean like a woman that I, I like, and kids. Right. But if I was single, like I would definitely step up for the, you get to go to Mars, you're

never coming back. You can still live on Mars, but you're not coming back. I would probably opt for that, I think. I could see that, but if you go to Mars, you don't know what the situation of living is. Yeah. Are you just in your little fucking moon tent? It'd be limited I think.

I don't think you would be able to do a lot. Yeah, maybe. Besides just go there and go, this is red and it's really rocky. Yeah. It'd be like living in like truth and consequences in New Mexico. Yeah.

But there's like more K-Marts there, I think, than Mars. By the way, have you been to the neighboring town Wheel of Fortune, New Mexico? Unbelievable. I'm a bigger fan of Jeopardy, Arizona. Oh, unbelievable. It's a good place. Holy God.

Mostly in the winter. In the winter, yeah. You just wanna go down there for the nice warm. The ski lodges. Oh, it's warm there. Yeah, Jeopardy, Arizona. But the good thing about being in a, like some kind of biodome in Mars, if it did get too tedious and you got bummed out, just open the door. I'm going for a walk and done.

Yeah. That was like that movie, are in the road, Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Oh, oh yeah. If you see the movie, the mom just gets naked and just walks out into the dark Yeah, cuz the world is over and you're like, that's kind of a cool way to go out That's the movie with Vigo's. Yeah, you know or whatever. Yeah, you go Morton's little boy Yes, it's very soda and he drinks the soda. He goes, oh, it's all bubbly and you go shit And you could see Vigo go. Shut up kid Really? I'd say that the movie he's pretty stoked to give his kid a Coke. Yeah. They find the underground bunker with all the food. They take

showers. Yeah. That makes you want to shower whenever you watch an apocalypse movie and someone praises how much they want to shower. You go home, you go, let me just rip one. Yeah, right. We could be running out of these soon. Yeah. We forget how all those things we have. Imagine how much you could fart on Mars how all those things we have imagine how much you could fart on Mars and no one could get mad well Oh Mack Weldon is back to make you look good to make you feel good and to look nice I got Mack Weldon and honestly what I love is how understated it is it's so nice but it it doesn't look like you're trying to look nice. Just looks like you're trying to look like yourself.

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connected in. Yeah, and if you look at it the the lighting guy was this guy they brought they fired our lighting guy and brought in this other lighting guy who did lighting on the original Blade Runner. Sick. So he was sick but he came in with quite a bit of an ego. Oh yeah he's like I'm gonna make this thing look futuristic. Right and so there were days where we had to wait eight hours for him to light a room which I thought it was too much I was actually getting mad and eight hours of lighting for one room yeah I was when they would try to move forward we'd be like no it's not right yeah he he would hold up the whole and not every day but he let's just say he was a big lighting guy and I think

he was lighting more than Tinkerbell when she farts. But he did this thing where we're on Mars and we did the fart scene, we're in full space suit and he set up all the lights and he goes, you know what, we're getting a glare on the face mask. So let's just lose the face masks and we'll CGI them in, in an era where CGI really hadn't, it was sort of at.1% on a scale of 10. This is, for those of you who haven't seen Rocket Man, this is late 90s. This is, Star Wars is having problems with CGI.

They're just starting to come out of it. Lucasfilm has created CGI, but it's not great. Yeah, it's still in its infancy. And so cut to the movie now, if you watch it, you'll see scenes where we're on Mars and you see the face mask. And then in that farting scene where it's a closeup, we have no mask.

Oh my God. Like you sort of don't notice it because you're already into it. But now that I've told you, if you look, there's just like no mask and we're walking around on Mars cause they didn't have the budget or the wherewithal. So he just said it. That's great.

I like the lighting guy going, we'll do that in post. And the director's like, I didn't even say we would. Yeah, that's sort of. And he goes, we'll just do that. Also very effective way, I just want to say our whole conversation, you have people on podcasts at the time and they plug stuff and they want you to watch stuff. This has been very effective because I'm going to watch Rocketman again.

Are you? And I think a lot of people at home are going to watch it. Good luck finding it. Is it not on any? It's weird. Disney sort of buried it. Is it on Disney Plus? I don't think. It's hard to find and it's added to the allure of it in a way because even during the DVD era where you could buy DVD, it was really hard to track it down.

Did you take that personally? I sort of did to a degree where it's left me mystified why they did it. Why make a movie, big budget. Right. What was it that made them? And part of me goes, was there someone at Disney that didn't like me or was there something in the movie? Yeah.

And I think there's a moment in the movie that scared them where we're on. We, we get to outer space or we land on Mars and there's a scene where the president calls to congratulate us while we're in space and he goes the whole world's watching and my character starts singing I've got the whole world in my hands but then I break into like yeah yeah very Katy Perry and I broke into like five different languages but I just improvised I'm just go now the Dutch I got the whole world in my and then I I was like, now the Chinese on tongue to tongue. You think that?

I don't know, but I think maybe that made them terrified and they just said, bury this movie. Well, cause also Disney, for those of you, for people that don't know at home, Disney's like main market is China. China does like the most business for a lot of Disney films because it does well in the United States, but then you go to China and all the billions of people

if it's a popular movie. So that might've been it. It could've been that or maybe they just hated, I don't know, but it's always been very difficult to find Rocketman. And then you're like, I swear I made that movie. You go, I spent years involved in the development and the making of it.

And what it's not to toot my own horn, but I think it's a really good funny movie. It's very silly, very funny. Yeah. It's a very silly, fun movie. Perfect for eighth graders who are smoking swag weed. Yeah, yeah. It's 100%.

Anyways. I feel like Jiminy Glick, where I want to be like, Shani Duvall. Was she cool? She was really cool. She was a little bit distant, like sort of quiet and stuff. She only had a small part.

She was only there like, I think about a week. But I asked her about, I asked her about The Shining. And I said, I hope you don't mind, but I gotta ask you about The Shining. And she was just like, oh my God, she said, Harlan, Stanley made us do each take like 53, 54 times. She goes, I was crying.

I was like, I think it really like frazzled her. She said in the end they got great stuff, but she said it was like sort of punishing, almost cruel. Yeah, there's a scene now that now in the age of the internet, all these like things that you should be on specialty DVDs or like buried and stuff are now ripped online. Yeah. And there's a scene you could watch before the bathroom scene.

Stanley Kubrick's like yelling at Shelley Duvall. Yeah. He's like, you gotta understand this. And you just like see Jack Nicholson behind him like pumping himself up. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, she's just taking it. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, I can't. She's just taking it.

Yeah. Yeah. And she did horrified perfectly in that. But then you find out it was kind of real and you're like, fuck. Yeah, I think she was sort of tormented. Yeah. Yeah. Because Stanley Kubrick was like fucking very, like, I know what I want to make.

This is what I'm going to make. Because him and I just read the book for the first time. Yeah. And then I went online and went down the rabbit hole of Stephen King didn't like the movie. Stephen King's like, nah, you kind of cheapen my book. You made this. And then Kubrick was just like, fuck you. It's like I made a classic.

I agree though. I read the book before I saw The Shining and I actually was disappointed in the movie, although it had its moments. I liked the book, the journey in the book way better. I was disappointed. And the book, the journey in the book way better. I was disappointed. And the book, when you read it, it does a better job of taking that main character, Jack Torrance, and showing him being a regular guy who goes crazy with, he's an alcoholic,

but in this hotel, it gets to him and it fucking changes who he is. And one of the things that King said is when you cast Jack Nicholson he just looks crazy already. Already yeah. So he just comes in you're like oh this guy's about to go crazy. So you don't even get that payoff. The journey yeah. Yeah of like oh he was a great dad and then he went nuts. The descending into madness. Yeah sort of. Because Jack Nicholson does crazy better than anyone. Yeah yeah. But you don't get to see that. Yeah. And then they tried the, the made for TV series. Yeah. Steven Weber. Yeah. I watched that. Yeah. And that was way worse. It was very true to the book. You want to talk about CGI

not being ready. Oh yeah. The topiary. Oh yeah. The topiary is moving. Yeah. And it's like these giant hedges that are in animals and they move, but it's mid 90s and the CGI is not there so you see it move like you know like um Old War of the Worlds or like Clash of the Titans yeah remember those old classes of Titans they'd have the skeletons moving and you're like the Harryhausen stuff yeah and that's what it looks like Sinbad and Jason and the Argonauts it's exactly it when you watch all of it you go like, this is stop motion.

You know what's cool about those movies though? You knew even as a kid it was, but there was something really enchanting about it because even the movements were almost a bit scary. Yeah, when they did like, it was so like the Medusa and the big Cyclops and the way they- That freaked me out more.

Yeah, they were scary. The Medusa in one of those old movies where she like looks, and you're right, it's the way that you see the tail come out. Yeah, and there's sort of, you can tell it's snappy and the head movement, but it gave it its own sort of creepy vibe, which I really love. That's why the 70s are the greatest time for horror movies

because the lighting guys weren't the guy from Blade Runner. They didn't know how to light it really well. So you're watching a movie and it's all dark. And you're like, what the fuck is going on? And then fucking Mike Myers pops out and you're like, ah, that's what they need to go. They need to go back to making things a little shittier so that they're better. That's interesting. If you make horror movies a little grainy, a little like, I can't see it. It adds to like, I'm scared. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It, it, that's true. It sort of, it feels a bit more real too, like you're there. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't help.

I rewatched Superman. I had food poisoning, so I was in bed for two days. Oh no. And I watched Superman 4. Oh yeah. And those are like, that's where the graphics are bad and all this stuff is bad. We're like, you guys shouldn't have even tried this.

Yeah, yeah, like the Jaws 3D, the Jaws 4. Yeah. Yeah. Like the jaws, three D jaws for, yeah. Yeah. Really? Like you guys had no business. That's just a money grab. Yeah. Christopher Reeve and the other guy that played fighting and it just looked like they were standing there and then they like put them on a, what their version of a green screen was. You're like, this doesn't work. And now it just looks real. Like now all superhero movies are like, Oh, that guy could be frownable. It's incredible It's sucking. I think that's what we know some some movies need that yeah stuff

All stuff right now is too good and no one's enjoying it. Yeah, I just saw the trailer for the next Superman Yeah, and it shows them like flying out of say crashing into the ice Yeah, and then all of a sudden a CGI dog comes like a super dog and it's like I'm sorry I'm I want a super I don't want to see a dog in a cape like I think they blew it showing that dog immediately it went from Superman to like Muppet movie yeah it's like we go does the dog talk yeah immediately then immediately when he shows up, you just start asking shitty questions. You're like, does the dog fly? Yeah, I saw that.

I was, I'm of the opposite though. I loved it. I'm a, I like crypto. I like what he's, I like that James Gunn is very going like, we're gonna make this comic booky. We're not gonna make this like Christopher Nolan's Batman or the new Batman's, which are more like based in reality. I like them being like, there's a dog that can fucking fly.

You know, all right. I guess I don't mind, but I feel like the dog's sort of a sissy dog. I wish it was like a German shepherd or a pit bull. Yeah, just a Rottweiler coming in and grabbing superman. It's a superhero that's like putting Hulk in a tutu. You know, it's like, if you're gonna be a superhero dog, be badass.

Now what if I told you Superman fights his dogs? Like Mike Vick. Oh god, oh yeah. You little piece of shit. Yeah, the dog fighting guy. Isn't that crazy? Quarterback in the NFL had a full dog fighting. And all he had to do was apologize.

Is that right? That's how different it was. I mean, he paid like, And all he had to do was apologize. Is that right? That was how different it was. I mean, he paid like, I think he paid a lot of money. But Mike Vick was basically just like, sorry. And then he was back in the NFL. That wouldn't happen now. We got better at like destroying people's careers. We're at the peak of destroying people's careers.

Where they'll just nuke someone's career for something. But he fucking straight up. Straight up had a dog fight in range. It's like drowning him in a pool. He was like electrocuting him and shit. Cause when these dogs lose, they just have to kill him. So if Superman's dog lost a fight. And it was pit bulls, right?

Yeah, it was pit bulls. I would have liked to have like really like rocky trained poodle or a chihuahua. Like just like had a chihuahua in a meat locker punching beef and like totally unsuspecting and then throw him in with a pit bull and just watch him like rip the pit bulls off. He's not getting killed, he's getting mailed.

Yeah, yeah. He's just pit bulls, the pit bull's gonna lose. Yeah, I would like to do it with a, I think instead of a chihuahua, I'd go more weight friendly. I'd go yellow lab. Yellow lab just train. Yeah, they're deceptive. Yeah, because they have the girth, but they're they're like sweet little family dogs. Sweet little boys. Yeah, just put them in there with a fucking pit bull. Wow. Have them win. By the way, do you vape? No, I started vaping. I got to New York, uh, two days ago. And you just started vaping?

I started vaping and it did not the traditional, like, I was walking down the street and about every four blocks in New York, there's these pipes with steam coming out of them in the sidewalk. And I just hover over them and it just helps me get from end to end of Manhattan. Wow. Do you feel like addicted to them now? Yeah I tried a raspberry subway on the way over here and homeless people lemonade last night. Yeah that's piss. Oh that was good. Just the thought of someone walking by like a

seasoned New Yorker being like is that Harlan Williams breathing the steam? Yeah well vaping. New York has a lot Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. New York has a lot of stuff that you're like, I don't think humans should be around that. Like when you're walking around and you're like. You haven't lived till you've tried the Blackberry Subway wrapper. This stuff, like, you can almost still feel it in my lungs.

It's vigorated. Yeah, yeah. Would you ever live in New York? I've never lived here, no. Would you ever? I don't think so. Sincfigurated. Yeah, yeah. Would you ever live in New York? I've never lived here, no. Would you ever? I don't think so. Do you enjoy California a lot? I love New York to visit, I love the energy,

but it's too, no offense to New York, but it reminds me of an ant farm. You ever seen those ant farms? Oh yeah, just crawling through the tubes. Yeah, and it's just, it's too many people on top of each other. It's fascinating, because I'm a people watcher, and the energy here is amazing, but it's just too much. It feels like

you're in a, for me it's like you're in a blender and you can't shut it off. There's no decompression. There is an anxiety when you go outside where you're like I'm in a mass. Yeah. I'm in a mass of people and I have to move but that's you nailed it with the amp farm. What I like about New York is everyone knows how to move. The people that live here, you walk down the sidewalk and everyone moves at the same pace and they go. Whereas California people move at their own pace. There's no agenda.

People just kind of meander. I like the honesty in New York. People are like, fucking move. In LA they're like, I'm going to sue you. You should have moved. I'm going to have to litigate. I'm going to have to sue you. I'm not fucking moving.

Do you miss Canada? I mean, yeah, I love Canada, but I spent like half my life there growing up. Sure. That's how I feel about Colorado. So it's in me and I enjoyed it and it was, I love it. And so when I moved away, it's like, I've had so much of it that I don't miss it cause it lives within me.

Like it's part of me. So when you go back though, are you like, I missed you old friend? No, it just feels like slipping into the same, like, like, you know, it, I, I, it just feels like coming back home. So I don't feel the same, like, you know, it just feels like coming back home, so I don't feel the missing part. I'm just like, oh, I'm back where I started, you know?

I love how nice you guys are until it's time not to be nice. You guys are like Dalton in fucking Roadhouse. You're like, be nice until it's not time to be nice. Because Canadians are always the most, whenever I go do shows up there, the most open, friendly people. And then now Trump goes like, we're gonna take it as a 51st state, and Canadians go to shows up there, the most open, friendly people. And then now Trump goes like, we're gonna take it as a 51st state,

and Canadians go, fuck you all. You guys immediately were like, I think you guys are underestimating us. Yeah, that's probably true, yeah. I was up in Winnipeg when he was saying that, and the energy was like, you're not fucking taking us. And then they look at me like I said it. They're like, oh yeah, you're American, huh?

You go, I don't fucking want to take you guys. I like the relationship we have right now. Well, a bunch of people got mad at me online because I put it out there that I said, there's probably a portion of Canadians that do like the concept of becoming the 51st state. And I didn't say they should. I just said,

you know, there's probably people that like it and, and Patriot, you know, I'm very patriotic as a Canadian, but people got fired up that I even like said anything about it. But I don't care. Cause it's like, I say what I want. Just like anyone else should say what they want. Launch them to space.

Yeah. You don't like them? Yeah. Put them in fucking space. Yeah, but. I always find that like any kind of patriotism for any country, there's always people that are gonna be way more patriotic than you. Yeah.

And they love to prove that. Yeah, they love to. But they're like, you aren't completely right or die. And you go, I'm just trying to say silly shit. Yeah. I'm sorry, you're mad. Just making a point, yeah. I'm sorry, you're so mad that the United States

might take us as a second state. But I think any country is're making a point. I'm sorry, you're so mad that the United States might take us as a second state. But I think any country is how you describe Canada. They're nice until they're not. I mean, if you've ever been to Japan or Cambodia or Vietnam, they're the most gentle, like the Indonesians, they're just gentle, passive people. But then you look at the war with Japan, you look at what happened in Cambodia with the killing fields, like people are, people are, I'm looking at

the camera going, people are nice until they're not. Cambodia's killing fields are fucking crazy. And it's any culture, you know, which is weird because when you go to countries where they are like, as you suggested, Canada or Cambodia or Indonesia. Even like Sweden. Yeah. You go to Sweden and they're very nice and you go, I bet there's another side to this.

There is, any race of people with their backs against the wall, we have a survival instinct where we will fight, everyone will fight. America's just a little more upfront with it. Yeah, America doesn't hide it because. We'll fucking fight you. Yeah, but America sort of has to because they're leading the world.

So they have to kind of go, hey, we're the jocks here. We're at the top of the pack. Like you want to mess around. It's like the tough guy at the bar. Yeah, and Canada is the one that's like rolling up their sleeves going, I don't want to do this. Yeah, but we will.

But I will do this. You were speaking inappropriately to the lady in America's like, shut up, 51st state. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're going, I don't like that talk much. No, I like that Canada's got tough people. I mean hockey players and lumberjacks and. Also look up World War II.

Yeah. Your guys as soldiers were more feared than anybody. Yeah. Because the Canadians were doing wild shit. You guys were like killing motherfuckers and then they're like, hey, I don't know about these Canadians. And then after World War II, we're like, Canada,

they don't even like to fight. And you're like, I think they do. Well, I'll tell you a funny story. My Uncle Bill just turned 101. Congratulations, Uncle Bill. He lives on his own still. Still motors around, walks around, goes shopping. He was in World War Two as a tail gunner and a bomber

and did like 45 missions over Germany and lived. Holy shit. He was in that glass bubble with the giant fucking thing. Yeah. And he lived one hundred and one and great health. I ever talk about it. He talks about it, but, but limited. He's, he, he talks, he acknowledges he was in it, but I don't think anyone's ever sat down and said, so did you like shoot the shit out of someone? Watch a house go like, yeah. And I don't know if I'm,

I'm a little nervous to ask them because I don't want to overstep it in case it's traumatic for him. But, and he's a bit of a, he's a very, going back to what we said about nice. He's, he's a very timid, quiet man and you'd never, uh, think of him being affiliated with anything like that, but here he was and so, yeah, I just, I've, I've been, I've never really asked them just out of respect. Yeah. War vets are very similar to like my friends that date celebrities I want to know about the sex but I can't ask them

Oh, really? Yeah. Just go like yeah, you know what? I really want to know. That's like talking to a war vet Yeah, and you're okay. Yeah, and everything's alright, but yeah what really happened? Did you ever get through to any of your buddies? Is there ever a good story? Pete Davidson would always evade me everything's all right, but what really happened? Did you ever get through to any of your buddies? Was there ever a good story? Pete Davidson would always evade me. Whenever we'd talk, he'd always find another thing. And then my other friends, they never dish,

just like war vets. They'll never truly say what happened. They go, you know, you just kind of keep that part with you and you just keep moving forward. And you go, huh. Cause he gets out eventually somewhere. Whether they're napping on your couch you just kind of keep that part with you and you just keep moving forward. Yeah. Huh. Because he gets out eventually somewhere. Yeah.

Whether they're napping on your couch and they talk out loud. Well, you can ask me. As you can see, I'm a pretty open guy. Yeah. Have you ever dated a celebrity? Yeah. Who'd you date? Cher.

You did not. Yeah. When did you date Cher? In LA. We both live in LA. Yeah, but that's not how that works. Did you guys date? We dated and we made, we used to, one of our things, this was our things, and I don't want this to get out everywhere, but we-

Sure, this is on the safety of our podcast. We would, she lives right in Malibu, right on the, she has a house over the shore, and we would do this thing every Saturday. We'd do caviar and clam chowder. Wow! We'd do caviar and clam chowder. Wow. And then she had stairs, a little elevator that went down to the beach, and we did this ritual. We'd make love during the sunset.

Wow, beautiful. The elephant seals would come in. That's where they sort of migrate, and they'd be on every side of us. And so we'd kind of use the rhythm of the elephant seals. Like, yeah. And we'd find a rhythm for love making as they trumpeted their sounds

and jostled for position on the beach. And to look, whatever we're doing. Is that Cher? Yeah. And then everyone would be like, is that Rocket Man? Yeah. And then a whole. That was beautiful, yeah.

And then you guys just take the elevator, just satisfied, full. We'd beautiful, yeah. And then you guys just take the elevator, just satisfied, full? We'd actually, we'd do full coitus, and then we'd sorta, it's a little greedy, but we'd finish it off with a 69, just as the sun, you know when the sun dips behind the horizon? That's when you would. So we'd call that our. Would you go on top,

or would you go on top? We'd switch it around. What a gentle giving lover. Yeah. Would you guys roll? Would you roll over while locked in? We rolled and then one night, what ended it is she rolled onto a sea urchin.

She got a sea urchin in her ass crack and. That's the biggest problem. Yeah. When you're rolling around 69 and on a beach. Yeah. You got shells, you got sea urchins. Yeah. And then we got all these voyeurs, all these sea lions.

We're watching them. Elephant seals. Elephant seals. Just watching them. And then, yeah, I had a little, little tryst with Demi Moore. I don't really wanna talk about that, but. I mean, what era?

What era of Demi? This was just after Ghost. We used to do, she used to pretend, cause she was, I would pretend I was a ghost. She'd put like baking powder on my face and she had this handyman who kind of somehow he created this sort of fake wall in the drywall and so I would come through the drywall like Casper or a phantom and we'd do a ghost sex. That's very kinky.

It was really good. She loved it. Also, it's funny to think about her putting flour on your face as you're aroused, you know? And she's like, okay, not yet. And then she's like, putting it on, and she's like, this is great. And it actually looked like I was floating

through the wall and then I'd take her on the floor. What an enjoyment. She had a bare skin rug, a grizzly. Amazing. Yeah, grizzly. And this is right after she broke up with Bruce Willis, I'm thinking. No, this is right after Ghost, so she was already single.

Oh, man. Remember the movie Ghost? Yeah, so he was dead. He was, and it's none of his business, but have you ever made love on the back of a Kodiak? No, of a bear? Yeah, she had a beautiful Kodiak bear. It was going great too, but again,

one night her crack got caught in one of the fangs. Yeah. And I don't know if you know this about Kodiak Baron. It was going great too, but again, one night her crack got caught in one of the fangs. And I don't know if you know this about Kodiak bears, giant canines. Yeah, giant canines. Giant canines. Biggest bear in the world. And we just sort of like the mishap on the beach with Cher, she rolled over and one of those fangs

just clipped her ass crack and sort of soured the ghost thing. When the ghost gets sprayed with blood, it sort of busts the illusion. Because now you're going, oh, there's blood inside of you, you're not dead. Right, and you splatter, so it's sort of, you got this white phantom thing and now you go, oh, how did that stick on the ghost?

It's not really a ghost and she kind of lost her mojo. So that's sort of when I moved on to Carol Burnett. Have you heard of her? Yeah. Yeah. Did the ear tug thing ever come into play? It's sort of transitioned from the ear down. She would tug on her, I don't want to,

well the clinical term is clitoris. That's how she knew you were watching? Yeah. Is she would tug on the, she'd go. Well, she'd do it at the end. After we finished, she'd stand up. She goes, I'm so glad we had this time together. Tug, tug.

And then that's how she'd finish? That's how we'd finish. Because she was a comedy legend. Got it. And sometimes we'd do it in her wheelchair. Like she'd, she'd. Well, you asked. This is very personal. Was there ever any animosity between

share and Demi Moore and later Carol Burnett did I didn't tell them about this is probably the first that they're gonna this could cause some kind of Hollywood TMZ thing yeah probably you might land in LA and it might be a shitstorm I don't want extra press I don't want to I don't want to like cause a gossip but you know I'm an open guy you asked me about celebrity sex coitus. Can I tell you a positive of all this? Sure. Bet that Rocketman finds its way to a streamer with all this going on. All right. All this juicy goss. Yeah. And then you just get fucking, all of a sudden, Rocket Man's gonna be on the front page of Disney Plus.

Everyone's going, Rocket Man's Robin Williams, I forgot this was, did you guys get Elton John's Rocket Man licensed? They did. They licensed it? So they licensed it for $350,000, and they played it in the end credits. That's the only time?

That's the only time they used it. 350,000, you use it in the end credits. That's the only time? That's the only time they used it. 350,000, you use it in the beginning. You use it in the movie. You have it as a little fuckin' piano medley. Somewhere, yeah. Like it could've fit some, and they put it in the end credits. Like people are gonna stay to watch the rest of the movie

because of that song, like, no. Yeah, that's insane. It that much money for that song and you don't use it ad nauseum? that song. Like, yeah, that's insane. It that much money for that song and you don't use it. Yeah. Ad nauseum. It really was weird. Yeah. Nelly for Tato is another one. Wow. I mean, I don't want to look.

You are quite the coxman. Well, I don't want to like, you know, drag them through it, but yeah. When I do an interview. When was the Nelly for Tato? Was that after Carol Burnett? This is bizarre. So this was after Cher.

Okay. And her family moved down to LA and her father opened a Baskin Robbins. And after it closed, we would go in and you know, they call it 33 flavors. 31. 31. Got to respect the brand.

And we would do a 31 favors. And we would, what we'd do is I would put her ass crack over one of the buckets and we would have coitus over every flavor. Oh my lord. Poor people that came in there definitely got hepatitis A. I mean you are spreading horrific germs. Well it was great because you got the coolness vapor of the ice cream coming up. Mixed with the warmth. Warmth of and then it's usually flavored so it's almost like the vapes you get this scent in the air of mint chocolate chip coitus. You have cotton candy. Cotton candy

cookies and cream coitus. Little fudge brownie. Fudge brownie bubble gum. Fudge brownie you could even poop and no one would know. And then we stopped again, another little mishap. They came out with this new flavor, Shrek Crackle. Okay. And they put little shards of peppermint in the Shrek Crackle. And one day we were just, the coitus was going off. Yeah. After hours, the clothes sign was on the door.

And I guess we pumped too deep and a piece of the Crackle went into her crack. She got Crackle in the crack. She got Crackle, Crackle. And got crackle in the crack. She got crackle, crackle. And so we had to shut that down. That's nuts. But I don't really like to talk about my celebrity trysts. Oh, I get it.

But I mean, that does sound, as a guy that has shoved an entire couch up his butt, I'll tell you, a little bit of peppermint, this thing's been inside me. I wondered why this was sort of squishy. Yeah, we get it out, we let it dry for a little bit for the guests here. The second you leave, we break down this cameras.

So I've never seen furniture with pubis before. Yeah, just things right back in me. Yeah. This thing, yeah, things thick. Yeah. But I'll tell you right now, you put peppermint in my butt. I'm going to be, I'm going to be an angry, I'm going to be an angry customer. Wow, you're like Dr. Mentos. Wow. Are you giving me menthol butt? Yeah.

And I'm gonna be pretty fucking mad at you, Harlan. Sour Dutch. Harlan Williams, you are one of the funniest human beings on the planet. I appreciate you coming out and doing this podcast. Thank you. It was a fucking joy when someone was like, do you want Harlan on the podcast?

I was like, please I think you're fucking podcast. Check out Harlan's podcast. It is fucking hilarious Oh, my friends have done it. I watched the episodes It's I just watched the one with Greg Fitzsimmons that was making me laugh so fucking hard Well, I wanted to invite you on my podcast the Harlan highway next time you're in LA So I'm gonna be there in the fall. You will love to do it in September. I would love it. Harlan highway, fucking rules.

Thank you. Check him out. Go watch rocket man. Find it. I'm gonna go find it if you can. And then stay to the end to see it. Do you listen to rocket man? Yeah.

Listen to the song rocket man. And speaking of rocket man, it's interesting. One of my friends who produced it, she's a great, great actress. What's her name? She was in the mask. Cameron Diaz? Cameron Diaz.

Me and her are currently. Anyways, we'll save that for another time. So Harlan Highway. When I get on Harlan Highway, I wanna hear about all of this. Yeah. Just the whole highway ride will be about old Cameron Diaz. And I don't like to spill the beans about people.

No, you've been pretty, you've been pretty open with all of your salacious details. Yeah. Which that's what I appreciate. Thank you. This is the place you come when you, it's the original name of the podcast was Kiss and Tell. Oh wow. But we changed it just to Soder, cause it's my last name. I podcast was kiss and tell oh wow just a soda because it's my last name and love them legally you know yeah

Harlan Williams the best thank you see in space