Soder - 80: Blooming Onion with James McCann | Soder Podcast | EP 78

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

Support the sponsors to support the show! F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code SODER15 at theperfectjean.nyc/SODER15 #theperfectjeanpod Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc dot com slash SODER to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.  That’s Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash SODER. Zocdoc.COM/SODER https://www.zocdoc.com/?utm_medium=audiopodcast&utm_campaign=soder Dan is on the road all 2025! Get tickets @ https://www.dansoder.com/tour Jan 30 - Feb 1 - Winnipeg, Canada Feb 20 - 22 - Huntsville, AL Feb 28 - San Diego, CA March 1 - Los Angeles, CA March 2 - San Francisco, CA The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour  presale code: GOLDEN Sep 25 Los Angeles, CA Sep 26 Seattle, WA Sep 27 Portland, OR OCT 3 Tucson, AZ Oct 4 Denver, CO Oct 9 Knoxville, TN OCT 10 Atlanta, GA Oct 11 Louisville, KY Oct 24 Providence, RI OCT 25 Nashville, TN NOV 7 San Antonio, TX NOV 8 Austin, TX NOV 13 Iowa City, IA Nov 14 Minneapolis, MN NOV 15 Madison, WI NOV 21 Kansas City, MO NOV 22 St. Louis, MO DEC 5 Vancouver, BC DEC 6 Eugene, OR DEC 12 Columbus, OH DEC 13 Royal Oak, MI Follow  @JamesDonaldForbesMcCann https://www.instagram.com/jdfmccann/?hl=en https://www.jdfmccann.com/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElNX4fufn_A PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with DAN. Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

The time has come. I'm finally announcing a theater tour. The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is kicking off this September. We're hitting 100 cities. It's everywhere. That's right. The greatest nickname the internet has ever given me, the Golden Retriever of Comedy. So why not use it to market the shows I'm doing?

LA, Seattle, Portland, Tucson, Denver, Knoxville, Tennessee, Atlanta, Georgia, Louisville, Kentucky, Providence, Rhode Island, Nashville, Tennessee, San Antonio. We're going everywhere with this tour. It's the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. Go to Dansoda.com for tickets. Get your tickets now and I'll see you there. Thank you and just, you know, take care of yourself take a little time for yourself Take a little nap. Maybe smoke a bowl. Maybe have a poop with your pants off

To really enjoy it Pantsless poops make the world a better place. I I apologize to you. I'm going to open with an apology of the podcast. Okay. You were right. You could say this on the podcast. No, I can say this. Everyone needs to know that we go through a, there's a purge. There's a purge of stuff that we need to say about people we know to each other. And then we start recording the podcast. I've also learned a lesson from the listeners of, uh, I interrupt a lot, so I'm going to try not to interrupt, but what I'm definitely going to start doing at the beginning of the podcast. I've also learned a lesson from the listeners of I interrupt a lot. So I'm gonna try not to interrupt, but what I'm definitely gonna start doing

at the beginning of the podcast, because this isn't fair to the people listening, is introduce my guest. James McCann, Hey America is a special, it's out on YouTube right now. When I tell you that James is one of the funniest people I've seen, it's true. He makes me laugh so fucking hard every time.

Please. Go watch James McCann's special, Hey America. Stop it. Dan is the only person, you're the only person I headhunted that I wanted to meet. Oh man, that means a lot. I drove to Houston and I organized a gig just afterwards so that I would have an opportunity to come and say hello. That was a fun weekend too. I had a great time. I got to meet, oh I'm- Mike Racine.

I was meant to see him while I was here as well and I'm fucking that up. Racine, don't worry about it. You won't remember. And if he does, he'll just hold it against you for the rest of his life. All right. He's the abstract point. I want to make this point. We'll go, Hey, did you ever hear from James when he was in the arc? And I go, yeah, he podcast with me. He's gonna go, what the fuck? You never fucking called me. I wanted to go on his podcast with the hooker. I thought that was a fun left turn.

His podcast. We were there that weekend. We were talking about him about the destruction of his old one. Oh he'd already, yes. I didn't realize that he was that far ahead with the plans. That was his idea when we were in Houston. He's like, they're gonna get a hooker. Sure Mike, sure. But you were saying as a foreigner in the United States. So a foreigner who I, you know, you'll see a foreigner and I'll, someone from a country that I don't know and they'll do something. Like I used to live with a, what's it called? Malaysian. Yeah, Malaysian.

Malaysian. And he like stole my girlfriend's underpants and wouldn't stop smoking inside. But I didn't know enough Malaysians to know if that was just a Malaysian thing or if that guy was bad. Okay, the smoking thing, the smoking thing. Smoking inside was definitely just a Malaysian thing. was just a Malaysian thing or if that guy was bad. Okay, the smoking thing, the smoking thing inside was definitely just a Malaysian thing. That's a Malaysian thing. The underwear seems more like a personal... He would watch Hentai pornography at the kitchen table. It was a very small... This is one of the sadder times in my life.

He would just watch full on porn. Animated pornography on the screen. Just while eating. I don't remember him eating. I remember him watching. I didn't even get to see it. My girlfriend came out and said, he's watching hand-tied at the kitchen table.

Would he, when you confronted him, would he? Never. I never confronted him. So you just go like, oh, you're watching porn in the kitchen again. Oh, fuck. There we go.

He was enormously fat. And I remember he used my bath. I think he wiped his ass with my bath towel. So this was a bad... So this was... I hate to tell you this. I don't think he was a roommate. I think he used my bath. I think he wiped his ass with my bath towel. So this was a bad, so this was, I hate to tell you this. I don't think he was a roommate. I think he was an enemy. I think you had a full on enemy. I didn't even hold it against him because that wasn't the strangest thing that

happened. It was a very small, uh, two bedroom apartment. Sure. It was the cheapest residence. I didn't have a proper job. I was living on the dole and going to uni and doing comedy. It was the first place I'd moved out and I didn't, they had terrible fire damage and they turned a bad two bedroom into an even smaller three bedroom apartment by walling off the living room. And so in the extra room, there was an older Italian man showed up and started living there and there would be screaming at night and I didn't know what two people were screaming. And then one day I opened the door to the bathroom and this

very old woman was there and he had secretly moved his like 67 year old mother into the and having her live there in secret so that we lived in a walled off living room. Malaysian lives in the ward of living room. He had a normal bedroom with his mom. Yeah. Bunk beds. Or do you think they slept? I never took a peek.

I saw him carrying in a like a girl on a motorcycle in a bikini picture. That's so funny to have that with your mother. Anyway, that was a very strange time. It's like, mama likes the ladies with the big tits on the motorcycle. I love it, the motorcycle and the tits. Mama likes the big fat tits on the motorcycle. They go jiggly jangly.

Because the power is the feck on the titten. It was, I started drinking a lot. That's when I started having port wine by the bed. Yeah. And that, the relationship wasn't going great and we would go for long walks, but we would suffer anyway. Port wine by the bed is like, um, that's like a game of Thrones thing. Yes.

We're like, it did feel sophisticated. I bought myself a goblet. Just to pour a little like treasures are abound. And a second hand, I also didn't know how alcoholic it was. So I would have a huge, oh, not one knocked out by the end of the night Russian literature and getting super drunk and living with all these people port wine is served at the end of a meal Yes, because it'll fuck you up. It's like a wintertime. Let's all get very aware by fire Let's get warm quickly should have been wearing a fox or like a wolf coat and then pouring it, listening to secrets in a draft.

I was very Bohemian existence. Yeah, I did. It was a, he's all right. I want to make this racist point is that I don't know. Sometimes you, like if an Italian man kissed my wife on the lips, do you get mad? You'd have to go, that's an Italian thing. Yeah. But if, uh, I dunno, it's anyone else, you'd go, get your lips off of my wife. And so there are people from other countries. I don't know. He's black. I go, get your goddamn lips. I know if you've seen my coat. Oh my God. I heard James talking his real voice. I try and keep it discreet. Say, Hey, Jack, I go, why do you talk like my only, my first

big comedy influences James Brown live at the Apollo volume one, maybe the greatest. 1962? No, it's in the fifties. I think it's, well, maybe 1962. Live at the Apollo, 1962. No, it would have to be 62, yeah. Where he does Think. Yeah, he does.

He does. I mean, I'm obsessed with that album. Great Night Train, to close it out. Yeah. This is 62, yes. And that's when the band, the band's intro, they go nuts. Yeah. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. I had that's when the band did the bands intro. They go nuts. Yeah. I had that playing for the birth of my third child. Really? They let us pick a record for the caesarian section. And you

did the James Brown live at the Apollo. But I'll tell you, why can't I tell you why I love hot pants. That section is magnificent in the lost someone where he starts ripping a little news off about hot pants. Yeah. And I thought that's what performance has to be. And anything short of that is a terrible. And then my act is nothing like that. But I think about it. But you're talking about this album. Absolutely. Yeah. And I have a lot of people like that. So yeah, the album that I don't

mind is like, one of the greatest songs of all time. Yeah, you hear James Brown singing, you go like, Oh, this guy, everything they did was practiced and rehearsed. And the audience interactions with the ladies are going crazy. Screaming. And he's begging them to scream. Don't want to hear say ah. Turn this off. No one dares disturb me. Sorry, Amos Gill, who's doing a gig with Tony Hinchcliffe for some steel workers. doing a gig with Tony Hinchcliffe for some steel workers. Oh, didn't know you had murderers call you. I didn't know you had, you gave your number to assassins.

I saw his car. Oh, the I roast? No, I didn't see the license plate, but I thought that was, it was, it was a green, it was a Lamborghini. Yeah, where he goes, isn't that cool? That's so cool. Your friends definitely don't laugh about that behind your back.

I couldn't, I, that's a sign of Shane that he doesn't let out very often. When you're hanging out with him, you get that Shane a lot, but he don't, on stage, you don't go, this man's obviously the best high school bully in the world. Dude, he had one of my favorite lines of all time. I was doing the bell house and he was opening.

Yeah. It's like right when he moved from Philadelphia and it was Brooklyn and he went on stage and he opened his set by going, I found you, you nerds. It's me. You're bully from high school. I found you. And very Shane way he goes, I learned art and I followed you to Brooklyn I'm doing that tonight and I'm will say walking around Brooklyn I have a sexual power that I don't have anywhere else in the world. Oh my god. Yes, we had hair we'd shirt glasses So none of this is fake. No, this is really you gotta understand the guys all in Brooklyn They're doing a lot of what you do. Yes fake. it's yeah it's them running away from growing up in like a white collar neighborhood yeah so they're like I'm Bohemian now you wear a

fur jacket so one type of motherfucker to wear a fur jacket black people love the fur coat I don't know how many white people will who they know you will come up to you about a fur coat and say, that is a great coat. Black strangers at the airport. They go, where'd you get that? Where'd you get that coat? You gotta let me have that coat. Okay. You can't have this coat, brother. This is, this is what we need for race relations in the United States. Everybody in Australia in a fur coat. Yeah. Going around getting the attention going.

If I learn one thing from James Brown, it's teeth, hair, fur coat. Gotta go the big three. You never. Now volume three, also a great album. I know if you heard Volume 3. No, but I will. There is a section of it. I'm honestly excited to listen to it now because Volume 1 is one of my favorite albums of all time. Volume 1 is the greatest one. There is the first half of... there's a section where he introduces the band on Volume 3. Okay. And I think by now... Is he in Volume, he's the, I think the drugs have kicked in by volume three. And it goes on for a long time. And it's like, cause 62 he's young. You can hear, you can understand what he's saying. And 62 his voice,

you hear him saying and you go like, Oh, this is a young guy. And the fact that he had to work so hard in 62, what you had to do to break through in the music business As a black man America from Georgia It's almost like being a white guy in the 2010s in Australia where you have to be so exceptional to break through You have buddy wants to see you shining and also civil rights are not even passed. Oh, no, you're it Civil rights. Yeah, so you're just like you're James Brown. You're touring. Touring is dangerous for you. You need a book.

You need a special green book. You need a green book to get around. But that's how you learn to dance like that. It's also why your band is airtight. That band is airtight. Then he drops that band and he gets Bootsy Collins to head up the band in the early 70s. OK, I think the famous flames go away. Yeah.

But I think he keeps the same guy who's bringing him on stage. I got it right. So I get to bring Shane on stage sometimes and my fantasy is to one day do it like that. Do it. Do that introduction. But I would do it like,

man, you know this man from tires. Man who saves retard. Man who got a secret podcast. Man who loves that Bud Light. Chubbittown impression. Friends with the Downs. Kevin Allen up. Kevin Allen up.

For shame. Anyway, he's coming on in too guys. Ladies and gentlemen. For real quick, here's Dire Straits. Chris Mano. It's just Straits. Chris Mann, I can't handle you. Oh, man. It's just so nice. LaMare can really get him amped up.

When LaMare gets out there and starts running around the stage and he gets to be a wrestler for a moment, that man's got to get into it. He's got to be like a Paul Heyman type figure. I love it. Do you remember when we did Salt Lake City and I Almost Fell? Yes, I thought you were smooth about it. Oh, well, what I told Big Jay and what I told Shane

was that if I would have tumbled, I would have tried to do the Willy Wonka. I would have tried to do the roll and the pop back up, like, hey, you know. I wouldn't know what you'd have just been writhing on the ground in Salt Lake City. I'd have been making that noise that the lady crushing grapes,

or I go, oh, whoa, well, oh, well, well. I thought you, I couldn't believe how you moved past it. Like it was not grabbed you because I was like, I just thought you were emotional coming up the stage. So it really lets his emotion. We all now I, we all, I think that was the one everyone did say hamburger. Yes. During this set.

If you're on that show and you're wondering why, cause people were wondering why online we made a bet. Do people ask? Yeah, that's great. They're like, was there a reason I saw on Twitter someone was like, is there a reason that they all said hamburger? And it was because a hamburger we were driving to the venue in Colorado Springs. And we were, we agreed to all at one point go hamburger. Hamburger.

Shane got two in. Shane got a couple in the yet closed on a hamburger. Closed on. Not one person got even an inquisitive chuckle on hamburger. Which is so, at the big rooms, the room to play and to like do something that's a little

off script, like they can smell it when you don't know entirely what you're going to say. It becomes terrifying. Just the word hamburger at the right edge. You wouldn't think that that would be a small enough thing to get a room of 20,000 people to go, what's happening? Silence. I mean, like I'm talking about handbrake, like you did it. Dead silent. I did it. Nothing. Jane did it. Nothing.

Shane goes twice. Shane did it. Shane did it in the Notre Dame story. And at the end, I mean nothing. He got something on the first one because of the act out and where he put it. It could be a hamburger. It could be a hamburger. But even then it was less than it would have gotten. But we got fucking nothing. It really makes you think hamburger must be incredibly powerful as a comedian to get to work. When you see when you try someone else's song, it's like covering a song and you can't get it, you go, I didn't think it was that tough musically.

Landslide. I tried to cover the chords going on in landslide all over. You think it sounds like a nice normal? It's all over the show. So when you were talking about foreigners doing foreign stuff, there's times where you're not sure if someone. Oh yes. Well, can I chalk that up to, I guess everyone from Portugal is unable to make eye contact or whatever it is. I don't know enough, but we must. I mean, as an Australian,

I'm sure I do things all the time that people look at me here and they go, that's weird. I'm pretty sure it was like Australians. I got to see a lot of it as a waiter when I worked in Midtown because I was working at a restaurant. We're here in numbers. Yeah, but you guys are fun. You guys are very fun.

You guys, as far as foreigners, you're the funnest foreigners. You have that. We're so fucking happy to be here. You guys are just so happy to be here. Because what happened, I worked at a restaurant in 08 when the dollar collapsed. So just everyone was over here.

The Spanish were the rudest. Of course. Easily the dollar collapsed. So just everyone was over here. The Spanish were the rudest. Of course. Easily the rudest. They held onto fascism for a long time. That doesn't get said enough, but deep into the seventies. They really did. And no one knows that doesn't know history. They like held onto a fascist government for a very long time.

You guys like naps, don't you? Kinda. Are you making us take one? Sleeping on voting. But when they came over, you could tell because this waiter that I worked with said it best, their children are all immaculately dressed. Oh, now Spaniards stress their kids. French are always people go, the French are smelly.

The French, like you can spot a Frenchie from a hundred yards away. You go, it's like they're wearing something that's being ironed while they're walking. Yes. It's sort of, you know, it's hilarious. Some, some Asians have this as well. Well, you go, I don't know how that's come together. Japanese. Wow.

The Japanese. They can throw together fits that you're like, how did you come up with that? Well, this is my, this is my theory that I've never managed to get off the ground, but that Asians will dress with great fashion and no style and black people will often dress with all style and no fashion. I honestly- Sometimes, not all black people,

some black people are very fashionable. But you can see a black guy wearing like his own hoodie that he's painted on and he's wearing shorts or something. You go, that's great. No one knows about that yet. Gucci is gonna find out about you and they're gonna steal that immediately. And I see Asian people wearing the best, most expensive thing. I go, I's great. No one knows about that yet. Gucci is going to find out about you and they're going to steal that immediately. And I see Asian people wearing the best, most expensive thing.

I go, I would never want to look like that. Yeah, you're absolutely right. They'll be wearing a silk suit that's perfectly tailored. And you're like, did you just wake up from a nap, like the way that their suits are? It looks like you're in the fucking Talking Heads concert video. Are we talking about black people again?

No, we're talking about Asians. Because concert video. Are we talking about black people again? No, I'm talking about Asians. Because I would say I've seen also black people in cool silk suits, entirely wrong proportions. Oh. The coolest stuff ever. Look at any of the old early 2000 fashion. Yeah. Black dudes made giant white tees, the kind that I used to have to wear when I was a kid

and I got chicken pox and had to put a mox, I had to put that stuff on my body so I didn't itch what's that called when what's the pink shit that you put on so you don't itch I had it in a bath I think yeah but you're saying you had this on but I just wear a giant t-shirt yeah so you don't itch and then like in the 2000 early 2000s rappers what's that I became hip. Yeah. Made it work. Also trousers that don't fit. I love watching those early 2000s when basketball players have suits that are just inhumanly. It looks so funny. It's someone's going to bring that back.

That's a talking head suit. That's why I thought you were that. Yeah. So whether it was like, you're like, they're dancing. Such beautiful. But you're right. I've seen black dudes, especially in New York City. I, uh, you know what? Black dudes made New York city. You know what black dudes make cool?

Okay. That no one else can make cool. Those ski masks that just put- I remember seeing that a lot during COVID on the basketball places. But they're still all over the place. They're still in ski masks. But it's like NASCAR drivers wear it under their helmets.

They look like idiots. Yeah. Black dudes wear it just in the streets. They look cool as shit. It's time for white people to- We have to start taking risks. Well, just culturally give one thing. I mean, rock and roll ended when the streets, they look cool as shit. It's time for white people to- We have to start taking risks. Well, just culturally give one thing. I mean, rock and roll ended when the strokes,

what's the last big proper- Yeah, I would probably say- The Black Keys had a couple of songs lately. Well, you could argue there's still rock bands, but I would say rock in general as a guy that worked in alternative radio. I would say hitting the charts with a rock band. I would probably say 2008.

2008. Because I worked, I'll tell you what it was. I used to work at K-Rock here in the city on K-Rock 92.3 WXRK. Um, they changed us to a top 40 station in 08. So that was like, cause it was over. There's over. Yeah. No one gave a shit about rock music anymore. Guys, it's time to talk about the perfect gene. Over 30,000 men have rated the Perfect Jeans 5 stars because you never have to sacrifice comfort for sweet style. Or also, you know, just wear comfortable pants.

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I actually generally I know we do these reads or whatever and you're like, oh, what is he like? But dude as a hypochondriac when I see Zoc doc I go hello old friend What is he like? But dude, as a hypochondriac, when I see ZocDoc, I go, hello old friend. Because ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

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good fit for any medical need you might have. So, I mean, there you go. If you need a doctor and you need to go see one, just get the ZocDoc app, put in all the info and it'll be easy. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash Soder to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash Soder. Zocdoc.com slash Soder. I remember I was, I used to read the, uh, right up until man, pitchfork kept it going. I can't read that until like 2012. And it was a pivot. Pitchfork review of an album was so important to me back then.

Yeah. I really followed the scores and compare it and try and predict what they were allowed to do. And then when they would be wrong. Oh, it was a great feeling. You're like, oh, you just fucking. I remember they were wrong about Lightspeed Champions first time they got around him later as Blood Orange, but they would be wrong. Oh, I was a great feeling. You're like, oh, you just fucking. I remember they were wrong about light speed champions first time they got around him later as blood orange, but they would, they really hated that album. But, ah, that was, and then at some point I started looking at the end of year,

top 100 pitchfork songs. Sure. I go, these are all bad. Yeah. And also a straight white man is the top entry at 32. And we're making a lot of this stuff. There's a political bent coming at some point. Yeah. That was the thing where you started being like,

how is he 32 anymore? I don't trust you. Yeah. Well, you know, they do, they do the, they redo the top songs of the nineties and it's like number one, old dirty bastard and Mariah Carey with fantasy. And you go, while that is a great song, haven't haven't smells like teen spirit outside. The top five seems like a dig. Even having had, I would even say having something like fucking Enter Sandman out of the top five is crazy. Wow, you know what I was listening to on the way over here was the, uh, trust I seek and I find in you. Oh yeah, dude, Wherever I May Roam.

It's crossing the road for that. Oh, it's just. Wherever I May Roam is, is the greatest travel song of all time. Well, I was at Freebird for me is. Really? I liked that Skinner wrote the greatest travel song and all time. Well, I was at Free Bird for me is really, I liked that Skinner wrote the greatest travel song and the greatest stay at home song. They do Free Bird and Sweet Home Alabama. They go, I can't stay here. And they go, I absolutely, I have to stay here.

Same band, Cosmopolitanism and Blood and Soil. They go, I'm free as a bird. Yeah. Oh, I would think the best is Turn the Page. I don't know Turn the Page. Bob Seger's Turn the Page? No, I know think the best is turn the page. I don't know. Turn the page. Bob Seger's turn the page Oh, I know nothing about Bob Seger I started watching the Dylan movie in which he is that Bob Seger who's I don't know

I didn't watch complete unknown. He does this land is your land is that no, that's Peter Seger. Excuse me. Pete Seger More of a folk guy Bob Seger straight-up fucking rock and roll. I know nothing about Bob Seger. Oh my god I get to I get to show you night moves. I get to show you fucking, I mean, Turn the Page is, Metallica covered it later on Turn the Page, but Turn the Page is the road song. Like you wrote it in the 70s.

It is like- Well, I like that, because I'm struggling with the road at the moment. Oh, brother. It's eating me. I'm literally, I'm staying at my sweet friend, Aaron Chen's house. Okay.

I don't know if you know Chenny. He's the number one ticket mover in Australian festivals He's so great. He's here in New York now. I couldn't afford I can now afford a hotel and I really didn't want to Yes, one. That's why I reached out to you I was like brother. I don't think you see my answer. I understand I was like, I hope you get a hotel I need to get anyone. I appreciate it I appreciate it, but I needed to stay with a person. I cannot be in another Right now I'm gonna get you sleep on this fucking blue couch. I appreciate it, but I needed to stay with a person. I cannot be in another hotel alone at the moment. Well, I'm telling you right now,

I'm gonna get you some brain ointment. And that is- Is that marijuana code? No, that's Bob Seeger's turn the page. It's called brain ointment? Good music's brain ointment, dude. You know what, I wanted to say this. I would really, I got to go to London last week.

Yeah, oh yeah, with the- And it was so nice. The whole- You did a whole thing, though. You did a whole week. You got an interview? I stayed there for a long time. Yeah, I got the interview Blondie,

The Blondie Way, it's my favorite show. On YouTube, which I'm gonna start watching. I'm doing nothing but promoting that. But I used to read like, religiously, I would read like Q, Mojo, Uncut, all of their big British enemy. Yeah. And it was so great.

Like more than I would listen to the music, I would read the journalism on it and it's dead. Yeah. This, the whole generation of autistic men Yep, who don't get to go to record stores and argue about it. This is a this is a huge problem I also I mean in the United States you can probably put it on the same path lines mass shootings It's cuz I believe guys don't have a place to go like that. I'm sucked and they go It was a four. It's a four and a half four four and a half Rolling Stone when it got sold by Yon Wenner.

Yeah. And then it got bought up by a group that's like controlled by like Middle Eastern business. It probably is. And like, their journalism used to be great. Rolling Stone used to write like unbelievable articles. Yeah. And then now you read it like this fucking trash. It's I mean, that's come to an end and the sub stack thing has not taken over. Nope. They really thought it was.

And you're like, guys, we've already been through blogging. Yeah. It didn't catch. People are trying and maybe it'll take some time, but boy, I read a great article about the, it was one of the last people to get into the vanity fair sphere of like, you know, I walked in there and Fran Lebowitz is having a, everyone's having these big drinks

and it's all paid for by the account. And then it's you come back and you write us 4,000 of the best words anyone's ever written about the new hat. But like that, that whole world of intellectual participation in public life is done. Who's going to save it? Tim Dillon. I mean, genuinely closer than anybody else. I think he is the only person with the power to do that. He's paying attention. People are listening to him. He's very smart. And in terms of the glitzy life, I've heard him describe anyone else I would find it disgusting. Yes.

But when it's him, I go, that's right. Like he told me, he was like, he was in a, I was in the back of a Rolls Royce and we pulled up and he said, the guy said, do you think we can put regular in this? Or is it premium? Any car is ever going to be premium. And I was like, of course, for you, this is great. Anyone else says I bought a Rolls Royce, I got you.

And I've known him since he started coming to the city to be able to mikes from Long Island. He's always been that way. This isn't a thing where- It's authentic. It's so authentic that that's the reason I think he could save it. Because he's not, same way you are a hot item in Brooklyn.

I can be, yes, in terms of being a bedraggled Brooklyn hipster, and really being able to do that. I'd really rather be the Rolls Royce guy deep down. I think that seems like a bad guy to me. I don't think so. I think you're perfect for the Brooklyn fur coat, women going, like, small with a mousy bangs, just being like, who is he? I don't, it is very weird

to be spaced out tattooed, to be looked at by women in a sexually on the, on public transports. We looked at by women in a sexually provocative way, you know, not since a couple of weeks ago, walking around Soho with the homosexuals. Oh yeah. Did I get looked at like that? It is. God, I went through a real moment. To go to a man's head.

I went through a real moment where early twenties. Yeah. I had my little short Caesar haircut. Nice. Boys were after this. Girls not so much, but boys. You knew it was on the table. Yeah, I just knew I was like, if I wanted to, I could.

It wouldn't be a reach. But I'm telling you, you go to Brooklyn right now. Shit, you'd be the heartthrob of Greenpoint. I am glad I got my life sorted and settled and into because I really think I could have gotten AIDS out there from a woman. And that's not easy to do as a man. I would say I would have been putting numbers on the white man. Very difficult.

I would say we tossed James into like shit. 2011 Williamsburg. You're a problem. You are a problem, especially because I'm drinking. And I'll add the extra thing is that anywhere else in America buys you nothing. Really? Oh, you haven't been to a place. So this is a secondhand bookstores. There are certain locations, but just walking down the main street. It's always funny where you see where looking man in my hometown and where I live now, Brooklyn, men

are like drinks where sometimes a drink is perfectly put in a situation. Sure. Where you go, I don't enjoy that drink, but then you're in a situation like, uh, what I think of a drink that I like to have in a certain situation, like gin and tonics I never enjoyed unless I was at like a pretty nice event and then I would have a gin and tonic and I'd go this is great yeah but the outside of that I reckon if you were in India scared of malaria it's hot outside you can't trust the water no what do you need that's like beer in the old win iron really give me a beer give me a beer. Give me a beer. I'm trying to, there are certain beers that on a hot day I can have.

There's a VB is an Australian beer. On a hot day. Wow. It's just a good VB. The rest of the time it's no good, but you've had a hard earned. Their commercial is the most iconic best Australian commercial.

They took very close to the theme song from the magnificent seven. Okay. But I do do do do do. And they just have like men working and then they have a guy doing like a bush palm over the top of it. Yes. You can, you can get it, plow in a field.

You can get it. And then it's like little. So that's our equivalent. Our equivalent states is the Coors banquet commercial with Sam Elliott. I'm interested in where it shows just like a bunch of color. I'm from Colorado. So it shows like if you're up in the Rocky Mountains and you're looking for something to drink, well there's Coors Banquet beer since the Rockies have some of the coldest water ever. And you watch him go,

I want a Coors Banquet. I bought an 18 pack of Coors Banquet beer because of the Sam Elliott commercial. Is this the one in the little gold bottle? Yeah, it's the red, it's the gold can, or the gold. That's always original. That was one of the first beers that I had and liked in America. When I first moved here and I was in Steubenville, Ohio, and it was snowing and I had nothing. I had no job, I had no money.

I didn't have enough money to get home. And you explained to me. This was about 14 months ago. Why Steubenville? Why Steubenville? I got a job and then I got fired from the job. How fast did you get fired? I got fired before I arrived. But as a part of being fired, I

still got a small, I got some money and three months rent and I'm bad enough money to live for the three months. Not quite enough, but it was okay. So they hire you to move from Australia to a different hemisphere. Yes. And then they fire you. Well, they looked up my standup comedy and they were right to fire. They were like, this is So that's what got you fired? Yeah. Was your comedy? They said this is disgusting. I know and they were I had just released a sketch about stabbing someone in the throat with a AIDS needle and I think it was a Catholic was a good upstanding Catholic podcast and I understood I got it like I actually don't but you weren't mad

I wish the timing had been different But they also they helped me get a place in America. I still got to be, I got a visa. It wasn't contingent. It's not easy to get a visa. Are you worried about that at all now with the shit that's going on? Uh, I think I would like to get a green heart before the next administration. Yeah. Because I think as a person currently living in Austin and moving in those circles, if the Dems do take back power, that might be more challenging for me.

It's so funny to see which foreigners worry about which administration. Anyone Latin right now is sweating bullets. Any white foreigners are like, well, this next president might fucking really jack us up. It's going to zig the other way. That's what's happening in America right now, is you're just seeing like, call and response happen so fast. Yeah. That used to take like a decade, now it takes two years.

It's a big, yeah, but I think, I mean, it's hard to know what the Dems are gonna do. Last time they had a plan. Well, they're down. They knew what they were doing. We have resistance. They're down bad. They have, they're having a bit of an existential crisis.

Yeah, because you're finally seeing, and I hate politics, I hate all politics Yeah, because you're finally seeing, and I hate politics. I hate all politics, but what we're finally seeing also in society is you're starting to see that the boomers are getting too old, that they're now all falling. They're all Biden and then, you know, they're all like, and the Gen X has never had to figure out what they stood for. Cause they never really had a, you would be a Gen X. I'd be a older millennial, older millennial. Yeah. I'm 83.

Wow. I'm a, so I'm a very young, I'm 81, no, 91, I'm 91, so I'm a young millennial. You're a young millennial, but I'm like, I'm right at the start of millennials. Yes, so then if it smells like 10 spirit, you're 10. So you're not like, target. I was 11 years old, yeah, 94. And it was fucking life-changing.

Nirvana was fucking life-changing. I remember watching, I was in a Burger King. Metallica and Nirvana. Hungry Jackson I remember watching. I was, it was, I was in a Metallica and Nirvana. Hungry Jackson, that, you know, that you see the music videos, you don't usually see the cheap music videos to get on the music video 24 seven cable thing. Yeah. And it was a cherry pie. Yeah. She's my cherry pie. And they showed the year. And I don't remember the year, but it was like contemporaneous cherry pies. They've got like bandanas and the long hair and makeup but it was like contemporaneous cherry pies. She's my cherry pie. They've got like bandanas and the long hair and makeup and it ended quick.

Yeah. And it's like, Oh, that's the world that smells like teen spirit. Put a knife in and killed forever. So it's very 90, so it's 90. So less than three years later. Yeah. And by the way, Nirvana put out Bleach in like fucking 91, 92. That has about a girl that has like some great songs on it. But also the Pixies are before then.

Pixies are before. Pixies are late 80s. But 89. When was Bleach out though? The album Bleach. I want to say it might have been. Oh wow. Wow. So it was something was brewing and it smells like Tainsbury.

It was the cultural. It was Big J. It was a cultural is big J. Breakthrough. You know, yeah. Yeah. I just saw him with long hair. I'd never seen that before. And he made sense to me as a man with long hair in a way that I, I went, Oh, I know who you are now.

Can I tell you right now? And bonfire fans know this. Yeah. I've been lobbying for the return for 10 years for him to grow his hair back out, go back to the house. When we became friends. He had the long hair biker looked cool. Everything made sense. It was because I've met him a couple of times with the short hair and I thought, I don't I like you here. The comedy is great. You're a wonderful guy. I don't have a full purchase on who you are. When I saw the long hair, I thought,

Oh, I've met, I know you. Yeah. So it was welcoming. So he's like a music savant. Like he can tell you every album, every song, every lyric from fucking 1950 on it's fucking insane. The music recall that big Jay has, but we were doing the radio show together. He would always be like warrant or like Bon Jovi. And I don't care because I was a little kid while all that music was going on. I didn't care about like poison.

I didn't give a shit about. White snake. It didn't give a fuck. We'd watch MTV and go like, okay, this is what adults, but like for me it was Guns N' Roses, Metallica, then Nirvana and the grunge scene. And then I just held on to Soundgarden. Late 90s, there's a dip, and so you must have been,

I'm trying to think of how long. Late 90s for me is. But like your early 20s, you get that White Stripes, Strokes, Rock and Roll, Detroit. Did you ever listen to Electric Six? No. Oh, they had the gay bar, they had Danger High Voltage, but they were also in Detroit. They were the other band from Detroit. White Stripes really took off. Yeah, White Stri the gay bar. They had danger high voltage, but they were also in Detroit.

They were the other band from Detroit. White stripes really took off. Yeah. White stripes took off. Well, that's what was funny is Queens of the stone age came into my life with songs for the death in 2002. And I was just kind of like, Oh, well, this is my favorite band now. And then I also found out they had three albums before and I could get into chaos and I could get in a chaos in. I'll get you. All right. I'm getting you welcome to sky Valley. I'm going to get you blues for the red song.

Get the years here. So this is, this is like 97 was Kaius. Yeah. 98 was the first Queens of the stone edge split album. Yes. And then they did self-taught or I think self-titled was 98 and then rated R in 99 or 2000 then they did. And Oasis is done by like 96.

Yeah but were they though because they were still like everyone. Hang on yeah. Are you excited about their shows? I have friends who are proper Oasis people. Are you a proper? I enjoy some of the songs. Yeah me too. What I love is the interviews.

Me too. I've watched all the interviews. Who's your guy Liam or Noah? No I mean. Noel. Noel of the songs. I don't go, I like, what I love is the interviews. I've watched all the interviews. Who's your guy, Liam or Noah? No, I mean, No, no, it was the fight. When I saw- You could be friends with, no, Liam seems like a liability.

No, if you got it, if he got in a fight, you'd go as probably a justified thing had happened. Liam is- What, Oasis? They dragged on for a while, but they weren't having like, big hits. They weren't doing well. Wait, who was the one that you guys met in- No, Noel. Noel is like the sensible one. No, I like Liam.

You like the wild man. Yeah, because his interviews are so funny. No, I, yes. There's one where he's like showing the tea setup and he's like, this is how big in the nineties we were, right? Yeah. I had a guy. The tea setup? Yeah. The tea? Yeah, I'm going to show you the video. I think I have it saved. Okay. Where he's like, I'm going to show you how big we were. He's like, back in the nineties, I had a, I had a cunt for my tea. Like I was starting to go, I had a little cunt for my tea. I had a little, I think I still have it figured out. As a historic figure, Liam, very interesting. If I was on a plane next to someone for six hours, you would, I'd take Noel every single time.

Yeah. You'd actually be able to talk to him. He seems like a brilliant intellect. He's very smart. Also, he's got the... Oh, I also love this where these kids are asking Liam questions. So the kid's going like, what's your favorite? He goes, find Nemo. What's yours? He's just, I love Liam. Liam. I was along for the, when the Russell Brand, Noel, BBC stuff. I really enjoyed it.

But Liam, I think is my guy. I think if I'm picking one. I hope they can work it out. I hope they can get these shows together. I mean, I feel like the amount of, yeah, you're right. Money can't fucking solve them. Where is this video? ABBA put it off for years. Abba were offered like a billion dollars

to get back together and that's uh that's too much money. 10-15 years. Where the fuck? Oh here it is. I'm taking too long to mention. You've got to do yourself, haven't you? I don't like his records these days. In the 90s, I had about four people doing it. He's a damn good old... That kid, that's one of them little b**** doing that. That's one of them little f****** doing that. Nah, you've got to do yourself these days, you know what I mean? Because he's f****** smart. I see that one f****** change, man.

Nish. Nish. And the one that's on the Wimpy Rock and the whole star of the realm. Shit, you've got to do it. You f**kers. How great is he? He's so carried. I'm sending you the clip so you can edit it in. I'm sending it in. Have you heard?

There's a record that my dad had, which was them arguing. It was like, he's like, like a journalist just recorded the two of them interviewing them. I kind of remember that it goes for like half an hour and I think Liam has gotten in a fist fight on a ferry back from like Amsterdam and it's him defending why getting just taking wild swings at a guy and I can't fucking take you anywhere. Yeah dude if you're Noel you are it's it's 100% Noel being frustrated with Liam. Yes. And they share a similar personality. So then he's got, there's like actually him through business, but he's also probably got a moment where he goes, stop,

just stop at some point they did. I mean, they didn't talk for over a decade. And then Liam's like, fuck you. He's just my favorite. Just the way that Liam Gallagher is like, shut the fuck up. I think it was at Liam that just got interviewed by Jim Jefferies. Oh, I don't know. It was great. My man, I'll ask because my friend Amos, he opens for Jim, but he's the man. I man, I like Jim. I've never got, I've never known Jim. I've hanged out with him one time. Oh, I'll fucking I'll bridge that gap. I have so many ends. I have so many

ends with him. But we have one conversation where I was speaking about Catholic social teaching. Yeah. He was asking about it. Sure. And I was like, uh, it was like no condoms at all. It's like, no, no, you just keep going into your wife as a terrible pregnancy. And she's, you know, and I thought, ah, I'm not representing myself. Well, that's my strong memory, but I know he was, I always thought it would be cool in that he's such an every man and that he was an opera singer. He was a trained opera singer until he got, yes, I know. Right. That's the look everyone should give.

Jim Jefferies was trying to be an opera singer. He got like a problem with his voice and he did comedy instead afterwards. That's crazy. But if anyone is going to do the show, you know, like an eight part series on opera, Jim Jefferies presents the world of opera. Who wouldn't watch this show? I would watch his takes on opera.

Yeah. Coming from the world. Pollyarch, he's a sad cunt, but he's a clown. It's funny like that sometimes. I think that would be a good. Dude, I'll tell you right now, man Sometimes I think that would be a good dude. I, I'll tell you right now, man, I got to do a couple of shows. Me and Norman did a couple of shows with Jim Jefferies and watching how good he is at standup. You like go to other people and you go like, he's so fucking good.

Yeah. He's just so natural. Yeah. Like a conversation switch baked deep into his, yeah, just in, in the chat it's on and it's moves. It's everywhere. The only person I've ever seen like that's Bill Burr and Shane, where they're just like, the way they talk is like they're talking to you. And then they just go out in front of thousands of people and they talk in the same exact way. Every other person I know, there's even myself included, there's a shift and you work on it. Chappelle,

Chappelle just like goes is like, but Chappelle's in his own world. Yes. Like Chappelle will just, I don't think Chappelle ever goes now when he's on stage. I don't think you can talk for four hours. Yeah. I don't think Chappelle... I think as you round the corner into the third hour, you probably can't keep the clown going. I think Chappelle has moments where he's like,

and that's why there's a leg, where am I? And he's just at an empty bus station and he's like, how the hell did I talk my way into this? But if you're like, or when he runs out of cigarettes, that's when he snaps out and he's like, what happened? What year is it? And they go, it's 2025. What happened to Neil?

Where is Neil? I'm trying to think who else does it? Cause Bill Burr, I'm interested that you say that. Well, Bill Burr. Because the, like I've never met Bill Burr. That's why he's a tough hang. I'm a Cause Bill Burr, I'm interested that you say that. Well, Bill Burr. Because he, the, the, like I've never met Bill Burr. That's why he's a tough hang. I'm a huge Bill Burr fan. Yeah.

But then it seems like shrouded in like anger. And then I hear him on the pod and he like, the way he talks about his life on the podcast, he's so charming and he's so open and vulnerable. Yeah. And then he's going like, I have to get on top of it. And he's being charming about, I just hate everybody. I'm angry. And it's like, well, if I met you,

I think I meet the angry guy. And I'm scared to do that. Cause I loved F is for family. I think the, I'm a entrenched Bill Burr. I couldn't believe when I saw the black and white special, I had really thought comedy was kind of done at that point. A helicopter act out in that is one of the greatest act outs in any stand up bit of all time.

And when the guy jumps and he goes, I was describing that to Aaron Chan earlier today. It is like technically masterful. It's perfect. And I've been a guy I'm a I'm a burro file. I'm a big burro file. And you know, there's a reason that saying never meet your heroes. Because when you're around Bilber, yeah, it's like being around a dog that's growling all the time, where you go like, I don't know if this is for me, but I don't want to get bit. No. Cause sometimes they'll be like, I did the Patrice benefit and he'd be like,

I'll just say something. And he'd be like, eh, why is that? And then you're like, Oh God, he's attacking me. No, I never want that. He, he shouted out one of my bits on the podcast. Oh, well, he saw like a reel and it was on the, I don't know, I've never felt more warm than positive. Oh, that's unbelievable. I was, but then of course, if I went up to him and said,

you saw one of my bits and you said it on the thing, he'd be like, I know, it would buy me better no pass than it. So that's what Patrice was like. Yeah. Patrice, you would have these moments where you would be like, I think I'm in rhythm. And then you walk up and you're like, Hey, Patrice, and he's like, get the fuck out of my face. And you're like, that was my mistake. I heard a story

about him from an Irish guy. Yeah, this week on the phone, a friend of mine, Eddie Bannon used to run a comedy festival in Ireland, and they got Patrice over there. And I'd forgotten that Patrice seems to have broken in the UK before America. He had to come back. Yeah. He was gonna be huge in London. Like he was gonna, he was, he was on his way.

But like had run into walls in America. No, he went over there being like, from what I'm told from like, Big Jay who was close with him and people that were- I don't know, I don't know. This is- Bobby Kelly. Yeah.

That he was kind of like, fuck this shit. And then he went to London and everyone in England was like Oh, you're the one of the greatest of all time like very similar to a Hendrix Yeah, where they were kind of like, oh fuck you're great. And then he had like make the choice to come back here. I Know That would have been great. I mean both of us were great. We got a lot of the work Yeah, but I think we wouldn't have gotten the years where he didn't give a shit here where he was dismayed by the business here.

Yeah, the business here was so controlled by the industry that it turned them off. It just a guy like that. Now America, I think is the least controlled by the industry. I agree. If these places are great, you still in Australia in the UK and New Zealand have to go up through some lady from the BBC putting you on. Yeah, no, now here it's like those people you're watching them scramble and I'm not going to lie. You're enjoying it.

Kind of nice to watch people to go, we just, we watched him, we don't get it. And now they go like, are you hiring an extra producer on your podcast? And you're like, no, no, I'm not. I just don't see a place where we can have a manager. What do they do? They've got to come up with an excuse. Oh, this is the story. So the Irish guy brings him in, he's MCing the thing.

And they're having a wonderful chat. It's warm and it's nice and positive. And then apparently Patrice got very serious and said, you need to bring me on and say the N word. I need you to, I need you to bring me on and say, please welcome to the stage, the N word. And he said the N word at the time. And the guy was like, I don't want to. So he was like, you will do it.

You're gonna do it. You're gonna go out there and do it for me. You know how fucking terrifying that is? He said it was very frightening and he didn't do it. And he didn't know if he did the right thing. And if he had done it, would that have been worse? Yeah, but you should be like, man, what the fuck? I expect that would have.

I'd like to bring up that boop. And then he's like like what the fuck? That's gotta be wild. I mean, you would have maybe, I mean, I never got to meet Patrice, but you would have won some sort of point for having the stones to have done it. Yeah, I think he liked, he uh.

Having been told to do it. I mean, dude, there's, I don't know, man. I think. It's very hard to know. That's just gotta be a tough thing, especially when you go, I mean, ideally you come over here, right? You're here. I come over here.

Yeah, you're already here. Yeah. If you blow up in the way that we're talking about, Patrice blowing up in England, would you wanna go back to Australia or would you feel comfortable being like, cause America, you know, we were the pinnacle for, I mean, I think we still are as far as like

getting eyeballs on stuff. Yeah. Like. But it also had the creative pinnacle simultaneously. on stuff. Yeah, like, but it also the creative pinnacle Simultaneously, I mean, yeah, the first amendment's we greats are all here. Yeah. Yeah, you could say whatever you want You can't get in trouble, but that it's also it's it's not like there's just a piece of paper guaranteeing that people actually Alright, I was in the UK and over and over again I would be talking to someone and the vibe I got was that they were sort of waiting

for me to say something they disagreed with so they could dismiss me and go, I don't have to worry about this person, thank goodness. They don't have a purchase on my life anymore. In America, people are so open and then you say something just typically when I disagree with someone or they disagree and people are enthusiastic about having a disagreement

because you'll really be able to open that up now and get to know one another. Yeah and work through they don't That's not in the colonies. I read a very thing. I read a very interesting article a couple years ago about it was called the immigrant Gene and that people that about this all the time But I'm get well like the Dutch leave for South Africa, and then a certain kind of person in that country is out. And so who remains is going to be different. Like by having an immigrant, yes, by having an immigrant population, both countries change. So basically, you know what I mean? But well,

the point I want to maybe it's a different thing that you're saying genealogy. Okay, they were basically saying like, everyone that came over through Ellis Island, through immigration or even the legal immigration, the people that come over there have something in them that goes like, I need to go somewhere else to fulfill what I need. Yes. And that gene passes down so that people three generations later, even if you're born in a town in Ohio, you still have the need to move. You have that need to like, we've got to do something.

Which so basically America is this country of immigrant genes moving around, which gives us the ability. We want to we want to clash. We want to state. But also that you on a structural level, you have moving within America built in. Yeah. Everybody starts somewhere, goes to college in a second place and seems to live in place.

Number three. Yep. You know, it was the most offended people got whenever I talk about this podcast, that the reason I left Colorado, cause I was afraid I was going to get stuck in Colorado and then people send me messages where they go, fuck you. I'm stuck in Colorado. What's wrong with my life? And I go, nothing.

No, I'm just saying why I left. But also, I mean, there are many people who are like New Yorkers who then go to college in, I don't know, West Virginia, but then would end up in Colorado and go, I made it to Colorado. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what we were talking about. It seems to be not ending where you started. It doesn't really matter where that ends up. Because it's empirical evidence that you made a move, that you evolved, that you changed. So it's like big for people. I mean, for me, born in Hartford, Connecticut, raised in Colorado,

went to college in Arizona, worked in Alaska. Back in Arizona, doing comedy, they moved here. I know you worked in Alaska just for a summer. How was it? Well, you were on the oil fields or something. No, I did a fish cannery. Fish canary cannery. OK, fish cannery. Fish cannery? Cannery.

Okay. A cannery. You put fish in cans? Yeah, I just caught them in a can and I said, you live here now. No, I did a dock crew. So I worked at a commercial fishery where all these people would go out

and they would do, I worked for salmon. I did halibut and salmon season. So they go out into the river, the Kenai river or the Cook Inlet. And then they, it was the Kenai River mostly. The Cook Inlet was for the halibut. But you would do just for the halibut. But you would-

I was there. I had, had you gone to college by this? You'd gone to college? I was in between years at university. So you go there at some time. At uni. Excuse me, yeah, we do. College.

In between, in between my freshman and sophomore year. Did you start comedy at college or you did it after? I started it actually when I came back from Alaska. That was the moment where I was like, oh, I think I'm funny enough to do this. You hang out with the boys in cannery. I was killing. I mean, I was fucking killing.

It is a nice feeling. I mean, these boys were hardened working men. And my soft-handed little bitch ass was getting I was getting them laughing yeah and I lived with my aunt who was my dad's sister up there okay she had cancer and she was she was dying of liver cancer so I was like oh I'm gonna go up there and live with you she was my funniest family member and I just went and lived with her but then I worked in the I worked at the docks so I had to live on the docks so So I would come back and see her.

You're living on the waterfront. Yeah. I lived, shout out Steve Calderwood, he just DM'd me. I haven't spoken to him in fucking 25 years, but he, they would let you rent a room on premise of the docks. There's like places you could live. And this is what, there are mountains there and?

Well, there's Gennale. Okay. There live. And this is what, there are mountains there and uh, well there's, there's a Denali. Okay. There's Mount McKinley. Mount McKinley. Yeah. Or Denali. As it is now. As it is now.

It was Mount McKinley when I lived there, then they switched to Denali and they switched it back to Mount McKinley. I would drive, there'd be moments where I'd like go to the store to get cigarettes and beer. And then I would turn a corner in the sweeping view. I would be like, It's all breathtaking. It's unbelievable. In the summer. Did you drive up there or? No, I flew up a corner in the sweeping view. I would be like, it's whole breathtaking.

It's unbelievable. In the summer, did you drive up there or? No, I flew up there. I flew to Seattle, then Seattle to Anchorage, then took a puddle jumper from Anchorage to Kenai. I lived in Kenai and Soldatna. And so these are, these are islands or they're on the mainland.

They're, this is, they're, it's two and a half hours Southeast of Anchorage. Okay. So it's, it's by the way, the drive from Anchorage. Is this compared to catch a car? Catch a can. Catch a can was right up the river. So we were pretty close. I fell into a Wikipedia thing about Alaskan geography. Yeah, it's unbelievable. And reading about the like the the native community bus services and things.

Yeah. And they also pay you to live there because there's an oil reserve. So when you move there and you become a an Alaskan citizen they give you a check or they used to send you a check for like 1700 bucks and they have a comedy festival there I know I'd love to do it I'd love to go up there do stand-up because never got to stand up in Alaska but I worked and your time will come I would definitely go up there yeah love to go up there but it was probably one of the greatest summers of my life because a my aunt was

dying. I really liked her. She's very funny. I asked her if I should do stand up rewording that what it was one of the greatest summers of my life because my aunt was dying. That bitch was getting out of here. You got to be close with her at a difficult. Yeah, she Yeah, she was just she was like one of the only family members from my dad's side that I really knew. Yeah. So I liked being able to very funny to very fucking funny. And so it was fun to hang out with her. But then I ended up just working because I didn't realize I didn't

like go up there knowing I was going to do that. I went up there to be like, Oh, live with her. I'll work at like a restaurant or something. And I tried getting hired in a landscaping place. They weren't hiring. I tried getting hired at a radio station they weren't hiring. And then I took my aunt's truck to the docks. This guy Brian who was working on the Cheyenne. Shout out his ship, the Cheyenne. He was welding.

The guy was welding the side of his ship and I just walked up to him like a fucking idiot. And I went, excuse me, excuse me. Interrupting a man welding is, makes you feel real gay. And he like threw up his mask and he was like, what's up? And I was like, are they hiring here? And he's like, hold on. And he like went up to the owner's house,

like the guy that owned it. And he's like, you guys hiring? And then I went up to the guy's- This is a Fox Searchlight movie. It was crazy. I went up there and the guy's like, you guys hiring? And then I went up to the guy's. This is a Fox searchlight movie. It was crazy. I went up there and the guy was like, fish season doesn't start for like a month or two or three weeks.

He's like, are you good with your hands? You are with like manual labor? And I was like, yeah. And he tossed me a pair of work gloves. And he's like, like a brand new work gloves. He had like a, he had a drawer, like filled with work gloves. And he like tossed me a pair and he's like, like a brand new workloads. He had like a, he had a, a drawer like filled with workloads. And he like tossed me a pair and he's like,

8 a.m. Monday. Cause it was a Friday that I asked him. He's like, 8 a.m. Monday. You're all right with that? And I was like, yeah. He's like, all right, here's the paperwork, bring it back filled out. 8 a.m. Monday.

And I showed up 8 a.m. and it was me, two other guys. And they handed us a pickaxe and a shovel. And they're like, there's a PVC pipe about six feet in the ground, runs 90 yards all the way to the water. We need you to dig it up because in the freeze in the winter it cracked. So we need to replace it.

So our job for the week was just digging. Digging the pipe up. And that was it, but it was sick. Honestly, that was back when I was drinking and smoking. So I would do like, you know. You get tired during the day and you have to hang out with the boys at night. Drink six beers and then smoke like,

and this was when weed was hard to get because it was still a class one narcotic and Alaska has some of the best weed I've ever smoked in my life. I didn't know that about them. So these guys would like pack a bowl and I'd like take a hit and I'd be like, whew, drink a couple highlifes,

fucking go back to my aunt's house. And you also knew you were going back to college at this point. In August, I knew I was like gonna go back to my aunt's house. You also knew you were going back to college at this point. In August, I knew I was like, gonna go back. That makes it very sweet, because if you had done college and then done that and not had anything afterwards, yeah, scary. The fear. Well, the whole thing was like, I was like, I don't know what you guys do

in between years at college in Australia. Gap year. People. Yeah. Well, between school and college, high university, people go out and they, you know, you go on a tiki tour of open, get very drunk. A lot of times we did. I just jumped right into university. I went from high school to university. Yeah. And then I did. Yeah. But then in between summers in between semesters, freshman, sophomore, a lot of, I was going to go back to Colorado and just like wait tables at Applebee's,

but you guys do a huge, we have, we have more small gaps, the small gaps. The small gaps through the year are longer. I'm starting to understand what summer holidays mean to Americans. You get the summer, it's like two full months of nothing. Three, how long is it? Brother, I was out May, I was done with classes May 10th, and I didn't need to be back at school till August 28th.

That's an incredible stretch of time. I lived in Alaska that whole time. Yeah. And I came back with like $15,000. This also makes sense to me of having like the summer blockbuster or the hit of the summer. Yeah. People are just in a fallow season of rest. Well, they want to go to the movies. They want to listen to stuff. They're going to beach. They're going to party or whatever. And I was just making money. So when I came back to school, I fucking came back with, you know, 20 pounds of muscle and 15 thousand dollars I've grizzled working on the experience hands are calloused

Yeah, and I was kind of like it was they have to sit in classes again after yeah And then also the muscle wasted away the money fucking ran out and I just was like that having a weird job for a stretch Is huge also, you know what it did it taught? It taught me what I never want to do which is that kind of work. Yeah. It was so hard. 16 hours a day, 7 days a week. They wouldn't give us days off unless it was a holiday because they didn't want to pay us time and a half. Yeah. So you just work. You literally just wake up to work but hour for lunch, hour for dinner, you eat fast and and then you smoke weed for 45 minutes with all your friends. Yeah.

And then it was kind of sick, because you're just driving around forklifts. Well, I mean, also you can enjoy things at the end of it long. I never got to do manual labor, because I'm so bad with my- I mean, I was bad too. Wasn't even-

To the point that when I left in August- There were personality highs. Yes. The foreman told me, he goes, we wanted to fire you so many times. But you're a hard worker. That's exactly what he said to me. I was like, Oh, you just called me a bitch because they would be like, he said he liked you. Yeah. But they would be like, Hey, change out the, uh, change out the timing belt on this thing. And I'd be like, I don't fucking do that. And then they'd have to

go get like Steve or Mike, the doc boss to be like, Hey hey Mike, will you do this? It was nuts. I didn't, yeah, I mean. But you knew at that point, I will never do that again. So hard that I was like, alright. Well then, how do you get into radio? What's the jump? What's the time delay for you to finish college and you go, I've gotta do something

with my voice or my brain? Well, I started, when I moved back to Tucson after Alaska, I spent all the money. Yeah. I mean, fast. You buy cool shoes? Yeah. I bought a lot of alcohol.

That's cool, I spent $70 on socks this afternoon. Okay. Dude, I went to Costco and bought giant 175s of Jack Daniel's whiskey, like four of them, and like three cartons. I was shopping like one lotto. Yeah. And then I ran out of money. perfectly I had to get a job.

So I got hired at Outback Steakhouse as a- So many complaints about Outback Steakhouse. Bring it. I only did two shifts. They don't, I mean- I'll get into it. Cause you know what? I had a, I worked at McDonald's very briefly.

I was at a cafe. I was at a subway for like three weeks and they said, you'd never come back. I was so bad. Why? I was just bad. I was slow a cafe, I was at a subway for like three weeks and they said, you'd never come back. I was so bad. I was just bad, I was slow. I was not a good, I don't know, I just could not go into that mode. How hard was it cutting, was this one you used to cut

the middle of the bread, where you there? The little knife. Oh yeah, that little green or yellow knife. Tiny and then a little magnetic strip. I was just so bad at it. And also I rubbed the bus up the wrong way. I was not able to go along and get along. Yeah, you couldn't do the corporate thing of like,

hey, when we win, Subway wins. Not for, I was, all the meetings, all the, you have to, you know, we're all watching a thing about not harassing each other. And every job I've had, except for comedy, I've been an unmitigated failure. Yeah. Actually as a copywriter, I could really do. I discovered you were a copywriter. I was like the lowest rung of copyright and I

was sort of working my way up. I was doing okay. But when we got, I got, I got married, my wife got pregnant and I had no, I'd been, I had been a journal, a music journalist for a while. I loved that. But then that makes sense. So why, how much you love to pitchfork and all that stuff. You love them and I got to do it. And then they just stopped kind of existing. I was there right at the end when they were, when they shut down, I was in New Zealand on holiday and I got a phone call going, there's no magazine for you to come back

to. You know, what's crazy about that is you and I were both working in rock music when it died. Yeah, you were at the you were working as a rock journalist. Yes. And I was on a rock station as a DJ. It was a very, and it got killed. We watched it die. I wish.

And then I hung around a bit, a little too long. Cause I also, I then I worked in commercial radio and the, the extent to which I think radio had been able to make choices about what was playing. And then it was entirely on the receiving end of this is popular. This is getting a lot of streams. We're playing that. Yeah. It doesn't matter if it's good or not. It's popular. Whether you know, no one there, no one there left has even a sense of, you know, yeah. So you're good is not the question anymore, but outback steakhouse. Yeah. They don't serve our beers. They serve fosters, which we don't drink.

Yeah. So they know fosters has never even been kind of an Australian. I think we had it until like crocodile Dundee. And then we were a bit embarrassed by it and we stopped't drink. Yeah, so they know, Fosters has never even been kind of an Australian beer. I think we had it until like Crocodile Dundee and then we were a bit embarrassed by it and we stopped having it and we have Crown Lager instead is the like. What is the, if you were to say like, I would say Budweiser's America's beer. Yeah. Budweiser's or Coors. I would say, very regional, Carlton draft would be one. VB. What did you grow up drinking? Cooper's Pale. That's a, that's the largest family owned brewer in Australia. They have it for sale. I'm told that the old mate knew there's a new Aussie bar that's just opened up in

have shame by it. Good by the Aussie bar or Cooper's out. No, we got it. It's got a stand. It's been a Cooper's family for a long time. But I love that. I love that beer beer doesn't travel well. No, you have to make it under license. But I love that. I love that beer beer doesn't travel well. You have to make it under a license, but I loved it. So, uh, so Outback doesn't serve. So you're gonna tell me you guys don't have an awesome blossom. What I found funny was the, uh, Alice Springs chicken.

You can buy Alice Springs chick and they've clearly just selected that because it's Alice Springs is in the middle. Okay. And there's nothing around it. So when you're on Google maps or whatever, they draw a map, it's nice to put something there. So they put Alice, it's like 30,000 people. It's not, it's not a big town, but the chicken. Well, that's just every bad story in Australia. It's Alice, right?

The violence in the crime. Like whenever a curfew is put on it's Alice Springs. So that whenever there's, you know, people have been, when Spanian, who's a great Aussie export, he's a ex con kickboxer who just walks around bad neighborhoods. You know, walking around Kensington going he's fucked. There's a guy doing heroin on the street. Kids can watch him. And so he goes to Alice Springs and like sees what's going on there.

That's how rough Alice Springs is. So if we had an American restaurant, yeah, if we had an American restaurant in Australia that we didn't fuck with and it was called like, like fucking, I'm trying to think of what's like a rural ass fucked up town, like, well, we do, we do Omaha beef, but that's cause Nebraska does beef. But I'm trying to think of We also have Gary, Indiana chicken.

This is how weird it is that we've got we try to Gary, Indiana chicken over it at Patriots and you go, what the fuck is that? We used to have we have Outback Steakhouse in Australia. No, you don't. So like within Australia, you can go to an American restaurant pretending to be an Australian restaurant. Who decided to bring it over there? Isn't that like, no, I'd never been, I'd never been in the guy in the, in the guy in the boardroom.

It's like outback in the outback. And they go, that doesn't work. It would be, I don't know. It would be like doing deep fried Japanese food in Japan. Yeah. It goes like this. Yeah. we don't fucking know what it would be. I think he's trying to try to sell prawn crackers to the Chinese. You have prawn crackers here? No. Oh, no. Big pink. Chinese food is so different in the other countries. But here, like our Chinese food is very different to your Chinese food.

And neither of them, anything like Chinese food, they're not actually, it's not actually Italian foods. The big one, because we've got our Italians at different times. You guys got Italians like a hundred, 150 years ago. And that your Italian food has really become an American, whereas we got Italians in the seventies, so they're still hanging on. So I went to like my, one of the first things I went to in Steubenville, which is where Dean Martin is from.

So I went to their hundred one of the first things I went to in Steubenville, which is where Dean Martin is from. So I went to their hundred year old Italian restaurant with pictures of Dean would have been here. And I said, Oh, can I have a Putin, Nesca? And they're like, what is that? So they don't red sauce, white sauce. So we've Americanized Italian very much so. And so when you get it in Australia, you're getting actual from, I think something closer to the, is it getting, but also

like your American weird Italian, the spaghetti. Noodles and tomato sauce. The salad with one big chili filled with oil or whatever the hell's inside that. That's so weird. You never think about that. Like that was American culture is so like viral.

Like you get it on it. And it like, it's like a virus. Like it takes it over and it's like, well, yeah, sure. This is Chinese, but this is American Chinese. But you also only export some it's weird being here. And the things people care about are very different to the, like the things that make it into the media that come out. Like college football being huge here.

Love it. We, but we get, no, we know we've watched the super bowl and that's it. And also the way a super bowl game looks is so different to every other. Yeah. It's two great teams who are really good at it. We, but we get, no, we know we've watched the super bowl and that's it. And also the way a super bowl game looks is so different to every other. It's two great teams who are really, really nervous playing, you know, it's often straight. I mean, years, that's what we thought NFL was, was just Tom Brady throwing six yards at a time. That's so fucking fun. It's really a better game in college football is vibrant and exciting. And there's none of that.

We get zero. So you don't get any of like the fun part of what, like college football or the NFL. No. That's not that mind blowing for you to. The other thing, we don't get the Super Bowl ads. So we could look them up online. But when we're watching the Super Bowl,

we're getting, you know, like a guy selling a TV down the road. Yeah. He goes, hey, what? $147 is a good television set. Funeral insurance from your local neighborhood. selling a TV down the road. He goes, $47 is a good television set. Funeral insurance from your local neighborhood. Matthew McConaughey dresses Batman being like Robin

loves Uber eats. And you're like, I've what is freaking sales force, dude. I've been obsessed with that. Yeah. I see you talking about, Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause I'm obsessed with, I'm obsessed with celebrities that are backing AI. This is one of the first conversations we had, was you couldn't believe that people would do gambling commercials.

They had all that money. And I always think something must have gone very wrong for Anthony LaPaglia, or whatever, to be doing Bet 365. Yeah, dude. It's bad. It's really bleak, because. They don't need it. It's not a good thing. I like, I enjoy a little punt.

Okay. Usually I don't mind a little, a pokey machine. I love doing it. You're a vision winner, whatever. I bet I'm in Vegas. I want to play blackjack. I want to go to a sports book.

I want to put in a bet claiming a sports book ticket in person. It sounds great. It's show fun. Oh, you watch show fun. You don't do horse racing as much here. You have some horse race. We have some horse races in Australia. It's show fun. It's show fun. You don't do horse racing as much here. You have some horse racing.

We have some horse racing. In Australia, it's like you go into any bar and there are three screens playing the horse races going on at that time in the world. And when you win, you have something to hand someone. You get to hold it in. Now when you lose, you get to tear it up. Oh my God. And then, but now with the axe.

Dog racing, you don't do dog racing. There's some dog racing. We do, we do. I saw in I think Whe wheeling West Virginia, I got to see the dog track. I'll tell you what, if you had more time there, I would take you up to the empire casino. We go watch. Do you go as far as the Japan? Now what? There's like a couple hours where no one anywhere in the world is awake to do horse racing or dog racing. Yeah. And at that point Australia, you pop on the Japanese robot dogs where they have like 3D dog racing simulations.

Oh my God, that's too much. We cannot stop, we cannot be stopped. But my thing with the gambling ads is we haven't seen the epidemic hit yet. Yeah, well I've seen it. Australia is the highest gambling losses per capita anywhere in the world. Really? We beat Asia, we beat Singapore's number two, we beat them like two to one.

Do you guys have it on apps and stuff? I'll get into the, okay, a couple of things. So their advertising is incredible. And what they did, because there weren't a lot of good comedy jobs going in Australia, is they took some of the best, like people who really could be big, it may still be big one day, and should have been writing on a sketch show. And instead they're writing for these gambling commercials. So they're really well done. Incredibly beautifully shot, better written than anything that's on television gambling commercials.

Because like men are lonely, social, like there's a social media component to our gambling apps where it's like you're betting with the boys, you're all in a group chat. That's where the chat's happening. That's where the online hangout is on the sports bet. It's fucked. They've weaponized the idea. People are bad sport. Because everyone's doing a multi bet.

You know, you're not just watching the game hoping somebody wins. You got to hope they win in a very specific way where he gets 25 touches. And it's, you know, the leader of the opposition when I was there, he was like, I just miss watching a game of footy with my sons. Just having a normal conversation about football. Caring about the sport.

But instead of being like first goal scorer and they gotta get to this. It's just like, just, I hate it. So it's ruined gambling. Well, there's fun of gambling. There was something romantic when gambling was dangerous. Yeah. And it was like, Oh, you gotta go to a book. You gotta go to a bookie. We had one day in Australia on Anzac day, which is where we, uh, Australian New Zealand army corps and celebration of the military. But it was the one guy gam, like you could gamble in public and it was

fine. And they do a game called two up, which is just two coins on a stick and you throw it in the air, you go heads, tails or combo, but it's, it's because it was the only day you could do it. Yeah. Hundreds of people there with their money in the air going heads on heads. Give me heads. That's incredible. That's a fun, you guys did a game. I played a dice dice game in America just on a bar with the bar staff everyone's gonna land their $10 down and throwing dice together and you can't have the dice and this is a thrill oh you did so much nice it's C lo yes I played four five six one two three you're out four five six you win it was

like you want to get those sevens you want to keep rolling with oh you're playing craps I have no I'd know I think sevens is out. I don't remember. Someone explained it to me. See, Lowe's the shit. You want to get, you want to get like three, three, you want to, if you can get all the same one, then you Trump everybody. Okay. See low. You, what you want to do is you want to get four or five, six, and you win on three dice. And if you get one, two, three, you're out. And then you do like different combos. It was very fun. Basically- I got a 40 with my homies hanging outside the

liquor store. Shooting dice, throwing it against the wall. I know, so CeeLo Green has taken his name from that. Yeah, CeeLo's from- I hadn't thought about it, I didn't know that. From the dice game. But you guys did it right, because that day you're describing was like the purge.

You basically did the purge with gambling. Let's all get it out of the system. Let's have it. And then we got the pokey machines and we really ran with pokey machines. And the old people with the pokey machines just sit there all day. When you're driving through the United States next time, go into a gas station. I go to a Sheetz in PA. I've seen it.

I've done it. Then I was angry when I got to Ohio and where are these? Where's the VIP lounge? Where are my dude? When we drive, she and I drive to Colorado every Christmas and back and it's funny when you get into a state with those and you'll walk into Piston and be like, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling.

And you walk in and you're like, oh fuck, you guys are straight up, we're gambling in this gas station. In the gas, and I like the big vending machines with the scratchy cards. Oh yeah. I haven't partaken of them, but. It's good to know that gambling is a worldwide problem. I mean, it's just, the advertising and the billboards

and the push and like interrupting the game to tell you the odds and. Oh dude, now they do it like you watch ESPN and it's just like, here's how you should gamble tonight. What is fun? Here's on the AFL, the Australian Football league app where that, you know, they're trying to go woke at the same time. Yeah.

So they've got, you know, the teams and the score and then under that, the gambling odds and then under that, the Aboriginal place name for the place. Those are the two innovations is, you know, the crows of, you know, $1 79. And also this is being played at the Ghana oval. Yeah. But that's also so funny where they go like, Hey know, $1 79. And also this is being played at the gun. Yeah. But that's also so funny. We're like, Hey everybody, give up your kids college fund. And also we're nice people.

We were so sorry. We acknowledge, I mean, do we acknowledge the Kulin nation as we get on a multi up here on that's the voice they use in the ads. That's so far. I'm going multi. I hate, I hate. That big voice. I would have done those ads.

If I was more, slightly more successful, if they said have $70,000 a year to write sports bed commercials, I would have said, yes, please. If I was still drinking, there would have been at least three times this podcast where I'd go, don't forget, sign up at DraftKings.com

cause I would just be buying my hooch and getting drunk and being like, wow, give me money. California sober is a term that I heard that before. Yeah. I get high, I get high on weed, but I don't drink alcohol. I have, uh, Alcoholic, I'm an alcoholic. I gotta get off nicotine.

I'm a big nicotine. Oh yeah. But I mean, trust me, brother, I'm almost back. America gets in any scraps overseas, me and the lady are buying a carton of cigarettes and ripping through them. I'm playing till the war is on your soil. One day it'll come, yeah.

It will, up soon. No, you're a while away. You see who's our fucking secretary of defense? You see who our Homeland Security is? You gotta keep that on a tighter leash. The cognitive dissonance of how you work with illegal immigrants in this country is nuts. It's crazy. Because they're everywhere. Everywhere. And they're in the public schools. Yeah. And there are ways for people to get a driver's

license and presumably pay taxes. Are illegal immigrants paying taxes? I think, I think in a way I'm too dumb for this. I don't have the answers. Certainly like sales taxes. They have to pay income taxes. But it's so, it's so easy to just come in and hang out. Um, was easier before, but like in terms of the numbers, it's very large. Well, it's crazy as a white collar person, it's, if you come in the front door, this is the hardest place in the world to legally. Oh, for sure. They really make, they, if you want to fix the illegal immigration thing,

maybe you still want all these. Just make it a bit easier to come into the. It's so funny when you hear an Australian say that because if I were to say that, which I completely agree with, so many people would have opinions about it where you go, I just feel like we should make the system a little more comprehensive and a little easier to try. Used to run on this. He would say, we'll have a wall with a big, beautiful door.

And you got neither the door nor the wall. What is funny is Obama. No one talks about Obama deported more people than Trump. Yeah. Obama was like, but he was he was doing that thing where the thing that I hate about the guy relax, but he was going like, I'm not doing anything evil. We're sending them back. No, we're just going to send them a little trip home. And you go, I think that's pretty fucked up.

What you need is like. I didn't send it back. Obama's fucking he's a wild boy with a drone strikes with lemon. We fucking gonna drone strike the Jonas Brothers house if they come for my daughter. He wouldn't even fucking Yeah, he wouldn't even admit it. They're like, what are you doing in Yemen? You'd be like, Oh, I gotta go. They're like, blew up a wedding in Yemen. This is a, this only Nixon can go to China is the expression I think.

Yeah, that's very funny. You gotta be lefties can do right wing things and right wing people can do lefty things, but not. No. You can't do your own thing. You can't do your own thing or else you get fucking zapped. Whereas Trump now can raise taxes on the rich and everyone will go, okay.

There's probably a time. Well, he ain't gonna, the rich are like Donald. He's saying he's gonna do it. Yeah, but they're going Donald. And he's like, shh, just give me a second. He's going like, the richer, like he's saying, he's going to do it. Yeah. But they're going to Donald and he's like, just give me a second. He's going to shut the fuck up. Give me a fucking. He's got it. All right, man.

NPR has I don't know if you listen to NPR very much. They're changing where they're going. Right. When I, they're going set the little more centrist. Well, you know, having someone on from both sides now is they're freaking out about it. They're starting to see that everyone went so left during the eight years. Obama was, why can't left wing people in this country acknowledge that they held the mainstream for a long time?

Because then they would also have to admit that we took land from native Americans and that we, it is a slippery slope. We enslaved black people for 450 years while they built the infrastructure that this country is. Yeah. And we treated them. you never get back to the native the Native Americans do not have I grew up in Colorado So it's right in your face. There's some of that there you grow up in Colorado you go Do they take I don't think this was a Taco Bell 150 So they take the 50 cents when you try and do a hand of gambling in Colorado. Is that just an Oklahoma thing? It's no I stopped by the side of the road a casino in Oklahoma and that guy just kept taking 50 cents. I was like, where's that going? He said, that's a

table fee. Well, they, what they do is they give, that was our way. That's reparation. We like flipped it where we go at like, all right, we'll give you casinos to the native Americans. And they were like, can we have booze? Give them sports betting. That would be sick. Just, just extend it to sports betting as well. And then at least it's doing some good. They'd be like, hi, I'm runs with Parlay. Welcome to DraftKings. Are you a white man that's taken our land? Well, don't forget the Brewers are playing the Braves tonight.

What is the over under on our life expectancy at the moment? Or they just do it where they go. The great Eagle thinks that the Brewers are gonna cover And you go I feel like I should take this bet Should make a little noise this way Such a great and powerful snake has Has told me that the Colts are incapable. This is Shaq and a headdress.

No, this is me. This is my Shaquille O'Neal. How did Shaquille O'Neal become the face of corporate America? He's everything. Saying yes to everything. He says yes to the printers. I think he did an ad for like a small car. He can't fit in that car.

For some reason, Katie got sent a box of shack gummies. I saw the shack gummies this week. They're not bad. They're not marijuana gummies either. Like gas station gummies. No, they're the kind I enjoy. They're just like the little fucking snacky sugar sugar. But he also does.

How is it Macy's and shack is all over Macy's and then you walk out of Macy's and there's a bill big billboard for like if you want to break something into payments. That's also Shaq. Shaq will be everywhere. He does the general. It's like 17 Shaq's pizza. Yeah. Papa John's.

The general car insurance. Kobe said he was lazy, but only with the free throw practice. He's not lazy working on the commercials. That's so fucking funny. That was his real calling. He's working overtime for that. You go, Kobe, he's not, he's not lazy's not lazy at all Shax like is that a commercial? Can I do it? Can I do the commercial? I'm working

I was wondering if I could do that commercial to Shaq you already have enough commercials. I want that commercial Must be hard for him to only be able to do one per industry Yeah, there's Papa John's but he wants to do pizza hut as well. He wants to be on to pizza hut or do little Caesar's. You can't do all of them. Having the feeling of like that being your monarch, because you just see him trying to help being Shack time.

King Shack. He buys people laptops and trucks. And printers. Does he actually buy them? You want to buy some dude. I've seen videos. Don't don't talk about St. Shack.

I would never have a word against Shack. It would be nice if he left some commercials for somebody the word and the word was Shaq And the word once there's a church of Shaq. I'm off the shack. That's all he goes. Do y'all believe in Jesus? They go. Yeah, you want to see me dunk? Yeah, and then he slams he goes God sent us down and it was a slam a jammer. I'm way bored. Do you coin slam a jam? No, no. He did a rap album in the 90s.

I've heard the rap album. It's called What's Up Doc? Can we rock? Not bad. It's bad. It's very sort of Craig Mack type of. But there's this moment where he goes, do y'all want me to pass?

And they go, no, y'all want me to pass? And they go, no, y'all want me to shoot? No, y'all want me to slam? And they're like, yeah, it's great. What's up doc, can we rock? It's one of the best. It's kind of a dig. Yeah. Yeah.

It's one of the owners of the racist. Cause Papa John said the N word, then they had to send them away. So then the, so then Shaq was like, I bet there's a lot more saying the N word at Papa John's HQ now now with him running it. He goes, I told them we can't do a Sprite pizza deal for $10. Why can't I, I want to give Sprite to everybody. Sprite being a black drink.

So funny was news. Having great sketch where they did. So funny. Was news. SNL have a great sketch where they do it. I almost never hear it acknowledged. And I have some, I've met white people who don't know that it's a black drink in America. Yeah. So marketed to black people. What's funny is like, uh, when SNL did that sketch where it was like, perhaps you buy Sprite. How did we become the black soda?

Tireless effort. Tireless effort. Do you know why? Back in the nineties, Grant Hill drinks Sprite. I remember that all the time. Grant Hill drinks, they just marketed it. Here's a funny Dr. Pepper one. Cause Dr. Pepper's a weird indie. I love it. Okay, but it's-

You're in a Dr. Pepper house. In some countries, it's a Coca-Cola beverage. And in other countries, it is a Pepsi-Cola beverage. So it is a- It is- Different countries have distribution rights to Dr. Pepper. I believe it is owned by Coca-Cola beverage and in other countries is a Pepsi Cola beverage. So it is a, it is different countries. I believe it is owned by Coca-Cola in America, but I think like in the UK and other, we'd have to look it up, but it's like weirdly divided that Dr.

Pepper is a shared intellectual property of both the Coca-Cola corporation and Pepsi-Cola. I got to send, I'm going to say, I got to send you this video so you get edited in right now to this this Episode there's a video of a black dude sleeping his mouth open and someone pours dr. Pepper in it. He goes oh That's that dr. Pam and it makes me laugh. Is that a commercial? No Video online that I sent to Shane. They're all fine. It's just a black dude sleep with his mouth open He's like the whole black thing. He's like And so we take stock to pepper and they poured his mouth. He goes, well, that's the doctor.

When, when Shane got the Bud Light commercial, I, I think my friend Amos came up with it, but I pitched it as what I wanted the ad to be. My different ad. And I think someone should do it for an ad. They won't, they wouldn't do it apparently, but you have a guy being waterboarded, but they're waterboarding him with Bud Light.

Shane wanted to do that because of your recommendation. Okay, well it was Amos, I'll give the credit to originally, is it, and yeah, and he's like, more, more, and they're going, we don't know what we're doing wrong. I talked to him about that. Really? I'm so excited it got to that point. Yeah, no, like Shane was like,

no, we were funny, like waterboarding thing. And I was like, oh, that would've been great. And he's like, yeah, but like, we're not down with that. And Isaac Bush is like, dude, we can't fucking do that. He's such a good commercial. You go to Guatemala, you go to Gitmo for the illegal immigration, you stay for the Bud Light. Holiday on!

They're stock price, they won't do it, they're stock price, they would be bad. That's what, no one will remember the trans thing after the waterboarding commercial, I like yeah, that'd be fucking great I Just looked at how long ago. How have we done? I go way over now. Oh, we never go this long Well, I should do a show. I should take a nap. I fucking love talking Hey America on YouTube watch everything this guy James Donald Faw Forbes McCann catamaran plan, it's out now.

Any book. I got books and poems. Yeah. I got a third one, a fourth one's coming out soon. I don't know what to call it. Incredibly smart, incredibly funny. No, no, I'm just, I'm not. Incredibly fun to hang out with.

Oh, that's the one that makes, it's the Fuji one that makes it look like film. Like the 70s. I had a friend bring that, my friend Sam Clark brought that out to- This guy's the best. To the UK. He's got all the fucking cool shit. All the gear. I need a you I'm struggling doing a podcast on your own. I have any exciting career right

now. It's because of him. He's the only reason I have any sort of you getting a percentage. Yeah, he's getting raised. He got a raise. Listen, I pay the guy well. If you're buying those trousers, you're doing absolutely fine. Yeah, he's got fucking cool jackets and shit. He's fine. Is this your semi pornographic jacket? Yeah, I just keep looking at that woman

eating what I think is not really a sandwich. Look at that gay guy biting that nipple. James McCain's the shit. That's really biting the heck out of that nipple. Put more of him in your life, like that nipple in that guy's mouth. Thank you for having me. It's an honor.

James McCain rules. And bye.