Soder - 83: Know Too Much with Steven Rogers | Soder Podcast | EP 81

Episode Date: May 27, 2025

The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city! Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tour May 29-31 - Appleton,WI June 6 - Red Bank,NJ Sep 5-6 - Phoenix,AZ Sep 25 - Los Angeles, CA Sep 25 Los Angeles, CA Sep 26 Seattle, WA Sep 27 Portland, OR OCT 3 Tucson, AZ Oct 4 Denver, CO Oct 9 Knoxville, TN OCT 10 Atlanta, GA Oct 11 Louisville, KY Oct 24 Providence, RI OCT 25 Nashville, TN NOV 7 San Antonio, TX NOV 8 Austin, TX NOV 13 Iowa City, IA Nov 14 Minneapolis, MN NOV 15 Madison, WI NOV 21 Kansas City, MO NOV 22 St. Louis, MO DEC 5 Vancouver, BC DEC 6 Eugene, OR DEC 12 Columbus, OH DEC 13 Royal Oak, MI Follow  @StevenRogersComedy https://www.instagram.com/stevenrogerscomedy/?hl=en https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu7EblMo1Ig PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with DAN Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  Mike Lavin  @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Hey everybody, it's me, it's Dan, it's the guy you're watching. I'm on the road baby. May 29th through the 31st, I'm gonna be in Appleton, Wisconsin at Skyline Comedy Club doing five shows. June 6th, I'll be at the Count Basie Center, Red Bank, New Jersey. Tickets are close to sold out. Please sell that out.

That would be fucking really cool to sell that venue out. It's an awesome theater. And then Syracuse, New York. June 13th and 14th, I'm gonna. And then Syracuse, New York, June 13th and 14th. I'm gonna be at the Syracuse Funny Bone. That's Friday, Saturday, just doing four shows. So I'll see you up there. Maybe get a little fucking salt potatoes, whatever the fuck you guys eat. DanceOtter.com tickets. First off, I'm bad with intros. I'm never gonna do an official intro. I'm never gonna do that. I like that. But sometimes

I'm talking to people and we just get carried away in a conversation and people go, you didn't even say who this guy is. This is Steven Rogers. His special is on YouTube right now. Go watch him. He's fucking hilarious. Former building mate of Joe List. That's right. That's I think the best credit. It is the best credit. You had to see Joe List. That's right. That's, I think, the best credit. It is the best credit. Because you had to see Joe List taking out the trash. All the time. I'm in the front of the building, so I could just see what hat he chose to wear that day.

That's right. You're like, oh, that's fun. He was just in Wisconsin. He bought a Wisconsin hat. Yeah, yeah. I'm one of those people, I'm one of the few that I don't believe in wearing hats that aren't your team.

I think it's a false indicator and I've been put in positions, especially in New York, where you wanna make a connection with a person based on the hat they're wearing. And then when they don't care, it hurts. They're like, I just had bad hair in St. Louis. About a half.

Who was doing that? Oh, I was at a table read with Paul Giamatti. Whoa, and he had four billions and he had a dolphin. He had a dolphin's hat on. My middle school friend, one of my oldest friends in the world, one of my middle school best friends is the head coach of the dolphins. So I walked up to Giamatti like, Hey, my friends, the coach and he was like, Oh, I bought this hat. I needed a hat.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fuck. This is why you don't do that. It's cool. Black dude on the train. I'm a San Francisco Giants fan. Yeah. I always have my San Francisco Giants hat on. And this cool black dude was on the train with San Francisco Giants hat. We were like both standing up, you know, and he was like where the door was. And I went, Hey, go Giants. And he went, what? and he was like where the door was and I went, hey, go Giants.

And he went, what? And I went, go Giants. And he went, oh yeah, the hat, it just matches the shoes. And I went, they do. I'm like so happy for them. I was like, oh my God, your people, that's how I said it. I go, your people are so good. Go real old with the races.

This is now my stop. I'm gonna get off now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Cause you people also have sharp knuckles. He just keeps saying stuff that he's like, I'm gonna have to get off the train and beat your ass too. Where are you from originally? Syracuse.

Wow. I'm going up there soon. I'm a... Everyone's a big fan of it. I'm scared of that funny bone. I haven't worked it since I was like a middle. Yeah, no one likes it. Why don't people like it?

Well, it's in a giant mall that is never... I'm used to that, baby. That's old hat. Yeah, that's true. I don't think it's a comedy show unless I walk by Auntie Anne's, unless I'm turning down that, baby, that's old hat. Yeah, that's true. I don't think it's a comedy show unless I walk by Auntie Anne's, unless I'm turning down hot pretzels. It's, I mean, I don't know.

Well, first of all, it's the snowiest city in the US. It's often not doing great weather-wise. It's always overcast, even like in good weather. And I love it. And this is someone that loves it talking about it. You don't have the accent. I don't. You don't have the sick. I think I have a little bit. No, I'm fine with not it. I'm friends with Jesse May Peluso is the only other person I know from Syracuse. She has a thick Syracuse accent. Yeah, the A's are our

giveaway. Yeah, they're almost like Midwestern. Yes, we're very Midwestern. Yeah, it's not like I tried to make a front of people from Buffalo about it and they got mad. They're like, we're very Midwestern. Yeah, it's not like, I tried to make it fun to people from Buffalo about it and they got mad. They're like, we don't sound Midwestern. We sound, you go, you sound Midwestern. Yeah, we are Midwestern. Yeah, it's Western New York. People think I foolishly, when I first moved to New York,

I thought Syracuse was like on the border, but it kind of, Buffalo's on the border. How close is Buffalo to Syracuse? Two hours. Yeah. And you guys just love food that'll get you through a winter. It's the only way I can describe Syracuse. You are very, you're very smart.

Take those potatoes, put meat with them. Yeah. No one's vegan in Syracuse. No, you can't. We're not going to survive. That club has such an awful reputation that I'm very interested to see. You've never heard this, Pimp? No.

Comics, no. And if you're from Syracuse, it's nothing against you. It's not against me. And if you work at the club, I'm going to be there soon. In fact, what a good time to plug my dates in. I'm there in December. But I really, are you there when? I'm headlining in December.

December, come see the hometown hero. I will be there June 13th and 14th. My father's birthday, he was dead. So it can't get worse. Syracuse, it can't get worse. But I will be there June 13th and 14th. Four shows. I have, I just, I'll go, Morrill, Norm, and friends of mine that have came back and gone What an awful experience so like I was a young comic in Syracuse You know you guys were people that I looked up to from Syracuse if you came through I want I was trying to be on those shows sure like these are these guys from New York They're hard-working comics. They're who I want to be and

these are these guys from New York they're hard-working comics they're who I want to be and for a single one of them would just trash on my home club and I would be like I'm in the word apparently I'm in the worst club that there is which is wild because Buffalo Helium is one of the best clubs in the country really great shout out Sean the general manager love Sean just the fucking best yeah same pose every, comedy at the Carlson, Rochester, New York. Yeah. Phenomenal club. Really good club. I love that fucking club. I get excited to go to Rochester. There was a blizzard one time I was in Rochester.

I was very constipated and there was a blizzard and I was like, well, I'll just sit in the hotel and try to poop all night. And the guy was like, no, there's a show. You guys drive out for three feet of snow. So I need to find out, cause I feel like Syracuse deserves this. I think it's better than the reputation it gives. Great.

I think it's great. That's all I wanted to hear. I have a good time there. And I feel like it's going to be a lot of my fans. These clubs, for those of you that aren't in comedy, a lot of times the small clubs get bad reputations because they're taking a risk on a younger comic that maybe doesn't sell tickets

or a guy that's maybe in a downswing and they paper the room. So they just basically give away free tickets to whoever wants to come. Not a good way to coordinate an audience. Because then you're getting people who didn't pay but also feel privileged. And the shows stink. No, so you're getting people who didn't pay but also feel privileged. Yeah, and the show's thank so I'm

Never had to deal with with that because it's my hometown So you have people come out? Yeah, and then yeah when I saw like everyone we just mentioned they weren't who they are now Yeah, so I think if all those people went back they would be pleasantly surprised. Absolutely, and I think you will too I'm excited. I think you will, too. I'm excited. I'm excited to go back. There are times where you just like, you know, I think in movies and like in biopics, especially, they do this thing where like

you're starting at a rinky dinky club and your whole idea is to go out and get big and come back and have that moment where you're like, I'm back in the small thing. I was trying, I started in Tucson, Arizona at a club called laughs. And I had been trying to get back in there and, um, like my age reached out, they didn't call back. There was like all this stuff, but that's so good. It's so good. That's hilarious to me. Cause you, that's insane. That's the most comic thing ever for them to be like, well then they sent me along, the owner, I think the owner's son, who might be the owner now, sent me a DM, but in the DM he was like,

yeah, we don't wanna book big headliners, they're not worth it. We have a good system where we just paper the room and people come and you're like, basically in the DM he was like, hey, we're just here to sell drinks and food, we're not here to provide. And at that moment you go, Oh, then I don't want to come. You do not want that. We're good.

So I don't know when this coming out, but I'm going to be at the realtor, which is the theater and he's on. So please fill that up. That's amazing. Because then I will have to go back to laughs begging. Please, please bring me inside. I said some shit about that. I was fucking drunk. I'm drinking again.

I'm drinking again. You will have to paper. Yeah, paper heavy for that. But do you ever worry about like when you're in Syracuse? Cause when you do bits sometimes and you come home and people that you know, when you do bits, do you ever hate that about performing in Syracuse? Yeah, so I was home, this was last year, headlining it,

and in the front row was this girl that grew up one door down. And she, you know, you also get the people from your life that don't go to comedy coming to see you. And they're- They have no idea. And it's not their fault. They're just not into it. It's not their fault.

She got pretty drunk and she was talking to me like we were hanging out. Love it. And she was like, talk about the time that the neighbor did this thing. And I'm like- Now, let's be honest. We're in a safe space.

How angry were you? How much did you have to hide? I had to hide it for 45 minutes. It's the way a parent has to hide wanting to hit their kid in public. It's that, like, you know? Where will you get home? I go, and I don't even know if this is the right move

comedically, but I was like, hey, I'll tell that story if you do me a favor and let me do my show the rest of the night. I'm like, just let me tell, I'll tell the story, but this, we don't normally do this. And she was like, oh, I'm so sorry. And you know, that drunk apologizing over and over. And I go, no.

I'm so sorry, am I ruining your show? And I go, we're good. You do have to get like gun range instructor with them. You go, keep your questions down. I told you this. I need your goggles on at the whole time. Yeah. Yeah.

There was actually just did this club in Richmond, Virginia, the funny bone, great club. I was doing, just having fun, it was like very low selling Thursday shows. But the crowd was great. And this, in high school, my senior year, I was in such love with this girl. I had such a crush on this girl, but she had a boyfriend. It was a very complicated thing.

But I mean, you wanna talk about early 2000ss smoking cigarettes, listening to Dave Matthews band. Yeah. I was in love with this girl. Yeah. And I'm like saying something and I get heckled by somebody out of the darkness. Just someone yells a name of my friend's name. And I was like, how do you know that name? And then the heckler's like, I went to high school with you. And I was like, who are you? And it was that girl's little sister who I knew. Bethany, if you're watching this, you did heckle me. And then I just went off on how her sister broke my heart. I was like, well now you've, you've.

You've unlocked this. You started this. I'm gonna finish it. Yeah, I have the mic in the spotlight. Yeah. So let me tell you where this is coming from. But then her and her husband came back after and we're awesome. And we talked and it was great. But yeah, that like, I know no one else. I wonder if cops get that. Like, I think that I'm trying to think of the only other job where you know someone from childhood where you where you can't treat them like their profession,

where you go like, like you get pulled over by it. Yeah. Shut up. Fucking don't didn't you just have rosacea and you're like, Hey, shut up. Pull me over. Cause my skin's clear. And you're like, Oh, fucking shit. If I were a cop and I ran into someone I go to high school with, I beat the shit out of them. I immediately, my body cam would be off. You're just in the squad car and you run the license and you just watch Steve and go, I got this.

And you go, yeah, you got really hyped up when you checked their info. This fucker used to stuff me in a locker. I wonder, I wish we could interview cops and like blank out their face too, like Gangland and be like, I beat the shit out of them. We went to high school together, it was me and me on the football team. Because I would do that. That's why when like liberals get very, very upset at cops and they go like, how could they act that way?

It's human. Yeah. Trust me, you were given that power. I highly doubt. I'm very glad I don't have that power so I can sit from a judging place. Yes, that's it. You go, I relinquish that power in order for the power to judge.

Yeah, exactly. Brother, I get it. I 100% get it. If I'm having a bad day, if I'm having a bad day at being a comic, I just call a lady in the audience a cunt. If you're having a bad day, if I'm having a bad day at being a comic, I just call a lady in the audience a cunt. You know, if you're having a bad day as a cop, you put four in the back of a guy running away from you.

And that's just like, it's just a bad day. Everyone's got them. We gotta start giving people more slack for having bad days, you know? Oh, 100%. I'm not saying we should write off all police abuse. No, no, no, We're talking about bad days. I'm talking about specifically having a bad day at work.

Bumping into anyone you knew at your job sucks. I don't care what the job is. Stand up, police, doing, I was a waiter, this cute girl I went to high school with that I hadn't seen in shit like fucking five or six years at the time. I had to wait on her at a work party. Right. So she just did the thing while I was clearing tables where she's like, I went to high school with him. Oh, you don't do that. And you don't. Are you done with that? Stacking it on the two things

you don't. You're supposed to let the guy do his job and not and you have like the wink moment Were you ever a waiter? I was a cashier and that happened way more shit than waiters I agree, but you know waiters would disagree. Yeah, but waiters are we're theatrical gays So I wouldn't surprise that we're disagreeing with that. I would get people Yeah that I went to high school with come through my line. Where were you or cashier at? At Wegmans in Syracuse. Son of a bitch!

That is 11 out of 10 degree difficulty. Yeah. Oh, would they ever do this? Would they ever go, Steven? Yeah. Oh. And I go, well, it says it here. You knew.

Fuck. How many of those until it was a bit? I mean. Because you get bits. I just thought of that now. Really? I didn't ever do that. Oh, you didn't do that as a bit? I had a bit at Bed Bath & Beyond because we had to wear nametags, but by a couple months

in I was just unloading trucks, so I was in the back. But if I wanted to go fill my water bottle, I had to go through the store. If you had a nametag on and anyone asked you a question, you had to go through the store. Yeah. And anyone, if you had a name tag on and anyone asked you a question, you had to give them like that fake, that's why that fucking dumb company's bankrupt. You had to be like, hey, and if I'm unloading, I'm literally counting loofahs with a scan tagger and cutting, I would just have a box cutter.

I just wanna go smoke cigarettes, that's all I want. And you would go in and these dumb old ladies would be like, I'm looking for 800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. You go, then go to bed, you dumb bitch. But I had to be like, Oh, we'll come, but I don't have that in me. I don't either. I have a very limited amount of that in me.

So if I was having a bad day at Bed Bath & Beyond, it's Arizona. So like in the back, it would get like, they had air conditioners, but it would get to like 95 in the back and you're just truck, the truck things going up and you're just pulling boxes. You're not in a good mood. And I was going, I used to have a bit where if people asked me for help,

they go, excuse me, do you work here? And I go, no, I just like name tags. And I'd keep it moving and it worked. It worked. They go like, huh? And then I'd just be like, filling my water at the cold water fountain, not the hot one by the office. Not a fucking idiot. You fill it with the cold water and then you walk through and you're like, I don't know.

I stop and talk to them. Technically I did what you asked me to do. And then I'd just go into the middle and eat candy bars. I would steal candy bars and just eat them. Cashier sucks. Cashier stinks. What was the worst send, did you have to tell someone to send stuff back? Like could they not afford stuff? Everyone's got a pro. Need tires?

I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there, helping you with Toyo tires you can trust. Until May 31st, save up to $100 in rebates on select Toyo tires. Like Toyo's open country family of tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca.

If you're like me, you're always craving that specific comfort food your grandma makes, and I finally found it. Nana's products just there, in the deli section at the grocery store. Samosas, toasties, and so much more, just like my Nana makes them. And you can tell from the taste that they're made with love. So good that, you know, I gotta go. I need to call my Nana and tell her I love her visit

your Nana's kitchen.com for more info Nana's proudly Canadian. Ooh. Like while you're scanning it because I've been that guy Louie had a phenomenal joke about that where he like goes to the grocery store he's like doesn't have enough money he goes well I guess you can just put all that back. I can't remember. Yeah that's an old Louie joke. I had a woman come up, she was doing EBT,

she had like this huge amount of food, and she looked at me and she goes, I don't wanna have to do this twice. It was, you know, some filling out the cart, you know, in the red, you know, and as soon as she said that, I was like, this woman's gonna have to do this twice. Oh no.

Because the anxiety of, yeah, so. That's your hurt locker. Yeah. Now you're, now you're like green wire, red wire, green wire, red, red. She's like, I'm on government assistance and I'm mad about it and I don't want to do this twice and good news. She didn't have to do a choice. She had to do it three times. What did she have to do with the EBT? I forget, like, I had to enter something that's on it, like on her card, and it's like, you know, it's more complicated than your muscle memory stuff.

Yeah. So anything that breaks the repetition, you know, you could be out, or you just haven't done it. Yeah, but that's even harder. Yeah. Not doing something at a job and having to do it for the first time is such an anxious experience. Yeah, and that's even harder. Yeah, not doing something at a job and having to do it for the first time. Yeah, he's such an anxious experience. Yeah, like, um, I never knew how

to open a bottle of wine. Oh, my, I still do. Yeah, I can never. I never knew it. Cork isn't inside. Yeah, but like the actual presentation about how you hold the bottle. Oh, yeah, you have to do a little knife cut out and you cut off the top and then you put the key in and you twist it. But then what you do is you do a one, two and I mean, I got good at it. The first time I had to do it, I was right around this time. I get, I don't know where this, but it was four 20. I remember the date because I got high.

I got high as shit. It was four 20. I now was on a double at Dos Caminos. And I went to my friend Troy's house, who's on 57th and first, and he had a bong. And it was 420 and I was on my break. And I was like, it's 420, I'm gonna rip. I didn't have any money, so I didn't have any weed.

So my friend Troy was like working at Sirius at the time. And he was like, yeah, I'll give you some bong hits. It wasn't Troy Kwan. O. So my friend Troy was like working at serious at the time. And he was like, Yeah, I'll give you some bong hits. It wasn't Troy Kwan. Oh, and a fans always love to go like, it was it was my friend Troy who I knew from Arizona, from U of A. And we take like, three bong hits each. We're playing Xbox 360 just came out. So it was like, revolutionary, huge. And then I was like, Oh, I gotta go back for my dinner shift.

It's always the shifts that you think aren't going to be shit, where the worst stuff happens. We go, I got my dinner shift and then I'll come back over. We'll play more Xbox 360. That kind of talk. Like, let me go do this small inconvenient thing and then I'll be back. Dude, I was fucking ripped dude I was fucking ripped and we used to have to do pre-shift yeah pre-shift most restaurants do the nicer restaurants bring out the specials sure and you sell them back to the chef right to show that you understand what's in the dish sure but then there's also menu items and so what they would do is they'd be like this long dinner right it'd be like 16 to 18 waiters. Talk about it, it's making me sweat.

People have been DMing me about they like waiter stories. Well, here's one for you because this one's upsetting me already on the inside. 18 waiters and I'm fucking new. This is like maybe two months into me living in the city. I don't know New York. I'm a fucking Colorado, Arizona bumpkin, you know? I'm just like. I remember moving here. I wouldn't know New York. I'm a fucking Colorado, Arizona bumpkin, you know? I'm just like...

I remember moving here. I wouldn't want to do... The pressure. You feel pimps from the city. So they don't understand this. There is a pressure when you move here that you go like, city's so fucking tight and I'm so fucking scared. But I'm high and I'm high enough that when I sit down,

I go like, nice, I get to eat food. Like, that's all I keep thinking. I was like enough that when I sit down I go like nice I get to eat food Like that's all I keep thinking I was like pass the guacamole because they'd always write drop a guacamole and get chips And when you're thinking that you know, your priorities are in And I remember the it was Vanessa the manager and we're like sitting around and they would call on waiters, you know, and like They would call on one waiter and they I talked about it on a previous episode, this guy Efren, I hope he's okay. He was this older, gay Ecuadorian dude. He was Spanish and he would stand up and he'd be like, these are our plantain empanadas,

it's plantain masa, with cortiaches and black beans. Thank you. He would like sell it really gay, but then he'd be like, thank you. And sit down. I always remember that. I always remember Efren. He like sells something and I'm like, hi.

And I'm like, he's gay. You know? Cause I'm still from Colorado. So I'm like, this guy is gay. Yeah. When you moved to New York and you're like, God, they're so loud in there. But Efren was like, I'm just trying to hear

some guacamole, man, with this. It was beautiful, thank you. Dog, it came up to me, and I'm high as shit. And I think Vanessa knew that. She goes, Dan. And I was like, no. And she goes, sell back this. And it was the mushroom empanadas.

And I couldn't remember the name empanada. So I just go, is these are mushrooms? And three times strong, I went, these are mushrooms. These are mushrooms. And she goes, sit down. And I was like, fuck, I'm in trouble. So then they do, do, do, do, do. And then they get to the wine and she goes, all right, Dan,

you couldn't do the mushroom empanadas. Why don't you present the red wine we have tonight and tell us what it is? I'm high as fuck talking about that EBT thing where you have to like do something you're not used to. I've never done wine service. I got hired because my friend was my friend's brother was the chef. So it was a, it was a nepo hire. Right. And I get it. And I like just stick the, I don't take the tin foil off. I just put it in there and I start twisting it. She goes, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, huh? And then like the Snickers. Yeah. And then it's

like, you know, these are all theater kids. So they're good at making you feel like shit. Yeah. They're like, yes, I do it. And I'm high as fuck. And I'm just like, ah, ah, and then she was like, stop, put it down. Go open bottles of wine with chef memo after this pre shift. So I had to go to the back of the restaurant and with one of the chefs had to learn how to but it taught me. Yeah, I mean, how to learn how to open wine bottles. But that was a moment that is just grained in my head. That's how I've learned most stuff is being Horribly humiliated. Yes going through a severe pain. Yes, and I'll never forget it

But you'll never forget it and now I have a skill this is Why we need to bring shame back. I think I mean I, I have never given it up. It is, me too. I'm shameful about every small little thing and it changes how you do stuff. Yes. You become more focused on doing it right when you are, I think like the, everyone gets a trophy thing. I think the idea behind it was good.

Sure. They wanted to save kids from embarrassment. Yeah, there are some kids that can't handle embarrassment. Yeah. And their lives drop. But I also think you made a generation of cocksuckers. Yeah. Mean motherfuckers that are just like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Cause you didn't get humbled. Yes. Yeah. You did not get humbled and getting humbled is very important to make a decent person It's so important to make a decent person and now I'm at a point where when I'm humbled it, you know It doesn't ever feel good. Yeah, the recovery is faster. Yes, and I'm laughing pretty quickly after being humbled

that's part of being a comic is Everyone wants to hear you fail. Yeah, so when something's bad going, you go like, that's a good joke. Yeah. This'll be a joke. This makes me feel like shit's gonna be a joke. And I'll say also like being a comic has made me more of a risk taker because I'm not afraid of failing

because I know I get a bit. There you go. So I'm like, I either get this thing I'm chasing or I have a bit. But it doesn't matter if you're a comedian. I think it's really important for people just to learn how to feel shame and to learn how to shake it off Yes to have that moment where you go haha fuck. I am being a dickhead Yeah, I think our country completely lacks that right? Yes, I agree everyone lacks left and right both lack this idea of going

Yeah, haha fuck. I'm an idiot. Yeah, I fucked up So quick to try to find out, find how we're right or not admit that we're wrong. And it's like admitting you're wrong is very rewarding and very funny. It's great. It's great. I like it. That shame part is so like,

I think of all the times I was really shamed into something and I always, I don't wanna say always, most of the time I learned a lesson from it. Oh, yeah. I learned like, don't do that say always most of the time I learned a lesson from it. Oh, I learned like don't do that Yeah, don't do that like all these guys now that complain about you can't hit on women or whatever. You can't do this It goes well, that's shame. You got to learn how to not do it. Well, I I'm currently doing that. Oh, yeah, cuz you're single Back out there. How the hell is that going?

This is a fun one. This one just happened. Yes. This is fresh off the fucking, this is fresh out the oven, dude. So I'm trying, I'm not trying to do apps. I want to grow as a person as far as hitting on women in public. Seeing a woman you like.

Yeah, see a woman I like and approach them. It is a nightmare. It always has been. Because what they don't tell you is the worst isn't no. The worst is I have a boyfriend. Yes. And you're inappropriate for doing this.

And you go like, oh! No is a very nice treat compared to what else can happen. So what just happened? So I'm trying to get better at it. Any advice, please. I hate going through shame, but I love watching people go through. I love sharing it after it's done.

But boy, oh boy, do I love watching spectators. Oh, America, it's time for me to go on the road. I'm Dan Soder and I'm heading out on the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. That's right, the greatest nickname I've ever received. Thank you Reddit. I'm doing theaters across everywhere. Everywhere you've been putting in comments, DMing me, sending me emails, when are you coming to such-and-such city? I'm coming to all of them. The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. Throw a premise. I'll chase that son of a bitch down.

I was at a coffee shop. Beautiful woman comes in and I have a note, you know, this is an obvious one. They're reading a book, leave him alone. Leave him alone. And this woman comes in red leather jacket. Yeah. And pretty cool. Carmen San Diego. And she sits and she's reading. I'm like, OK, can't talk to her.

Puts the book down. There you go. And I'm like, all right, we're fine. And I'm in in line and we make eye contact. And I go, great jacket, love your jacket. And she goes, oh, thanks. And then I froze and just turned back into line. That's not that bad. It's not that bad.

If you would have had a stare and a smile or a little bit more of that, cause brother, you do two more steps, you might've got yourself in a way worse situation. Well, she said thanks, but then there's like nowhere, I don't know where to go after that. You got Leather's Murder. You think the cow was red?

Anyway. And you want a coffee, I'm in line. She goes, thanks. And then recently, Peter Wong is my best pal. I know you've worked with Peter. Peter Szilard. He and I were at a bar, and he's like, come on, we're gonna approach these two women.

And I was like, all right, I'm trying to get out there and do it. We go up to these women. You ever do, you ever like, all right, I'm gonna be truly myself. Sure. So I'm gonna be the idiot I am with my friends. No, no, that is, uh, yeah. Well, now I know that's, that's too much of how the sausage is made. Yeah. So exactly. So she, these two women, they, they're roommates and we're like talking to them

and they're like, yeah, we're getting evicted. Our real, our landlords are crazy and a racist. And I was like, ah, that's a shame. I love a racist. Like, and that's something that would make Peter Wong laugh very hard. And he did, she did not laugh. And I go, oh no, it's a, and she was like, you can't say that.

And I'm like, no, that's a bit. There you go. You know what? That's where you got to turn on them and go, no, I don't like you anymore was like, you can't say that. And I'm like, no, that's a bit. There you go. You know what? That's where you got to turn on them and go, no, I don't like you anymore. Yeah, I didn't like her anymore. That's where you just got to get that confidence to go, ew to you.

I can't. You can't handle a joke? Ew. Yeah. I don't miss that. I mean, I'm grateful for Katie for a lot of reasons. Oh, of course. But one of those things is that first approach where you just go like, hey, so.

I was wondering if you, dude, I had one on the B train going downtown from Herald Square and it's, you know, one long, it goes Herald Square to West Forth. I was going to the cellar and I'm like on the train, there's a girl with a kid that she's clearly babysitting. She's clearly babysitting him. I'm like reading my book and I'm looking up

and we're making eye contact and I smile and she smiles. And I look back and read my book. I look back up, she looks at me. I'm smiling, she's smiling. So I go, I don't know, we kinda have, you know, I'm gonna do something about this. Stops at West fourth. She gets off the train.

I immediately get off the train and I go, Hey, I was wondering if I could take you to lunch sometime or whatever. She shields the kid behind her. She shielded the child and she was like, um, I have a boyfriend, I'm sorry. And then just walked up the steps and I just sat on the platform and let it cool off. I wasn't talking to you. The kid. You into dudes, bro?

Or you just letting this one molest you? She goes, I don't molest them. And you go, yeah, right. Big hands make your dork look tiny. I'll just suck you little man. And she's like, Jesus. We didn't have to go here. You have, Jesus. We didn't have to go here. You have a boyfriend.

We didn't have to go here. We could have been in love. Now I'm a pedophile. That's how you change it. You and I could have been in love. Now I diddle kids, you selfish bitch. She's like, Jesus Christ. Her coming home, her boyfriend's like,

hey honey, how was work? And she goes, people in this city. I think I turned a guy into a pedophile. I need to lay down. Would you get back on the apps? The issue with, yes, but the issue is it makes me on my phone more, it's so easy to like, I feel like there's no stakes.

Yeah. And I. It's the same with talking shit online. People feel very brazen and very. Exactly. And then you meet up with them and you're like, oh you didn't. Yeah, I'd rather, and even if nothing does come of

like this in person stuff, I do think it's making me grow as a person that's like, just doesn't know how to start conversations. Sure. You know? Yeah, but you don't want to get too good at it. Cause then you're a problem. If you're walking up like tying a cherry stem

and you're with your tongue, you're like, hello ladies. I got to tell you, we're going to be fine. Yeah. You know who used to be my favorite wingman was Joe List. I don't doubt that for a second. He would always do this joke where there'd be like, no matter how many there were of us, he'd go, three of you, three of us, huh?

But he would always do that. But sometimes it would work. Cause you'd go, sorry for my asshole friend. But that's why he was doing that. He knew you were going to take that shot. And then they'd be like, yeah, you're right. And then you're like, you gotta buy your beer. All I'm doing is bits. And if they'd be like, yeah, you're right. And then you're like, you gotta buy a beer. All I'm doing is bits.

And if they laugh, then I'm interested in talking to them more. And if they don't, I'm like, all right, well, I wouldn't be interested even if nothing happened. Yeah, I'd say act handicapped. I say act handicapped, fall in love with them, and then reveal you're not handicapped. This always goes well.

I'm like, sorry, I can't see. I don't know what love is. And then she sees you perform, and she goes, you're not handicapped, this always goes well. I'm like, sorry, I can't see. I don't know what love is. And then she sees you perform, and she goes, you're not deaf at all. And you're like, I know. I know, but I wanted to make sure this was the right kind of love. You heard how good I was doing, too.

Oh, you could tell that I could hear? Yeah, man, I feel bad for anyone that's just out here constantly on the apps, because it seems I tried a a couple apps but the one that really annoyed me the most was match.com Oh I refuse yeah a college essay that's what I've heard you know like put so much stuff in there yeah and I did it and I was like this will be worth it and then the first couple matches were just girls going I bet I'm funnier than you are and you're like well I'm deleting this entire fucking profile. I've been talking to the comics about this and obviously it's the same on both sides like oh women probably get it way

more than we get it. Female comics putting it I understand putting a shot of you doing stand-up to be like hey if this is a deal-breaker let's just I'm gonna talk about your dick. Sometimes it's a good thing. Yeah, female comics go, I'm just letting you know. We fucked? Yeah. Probably gonna be about seven minutes on. Yeah, sometimes that starts a nickname that really does well for you. Ha ha ha ha.

Uh. Ha ha ha ha. But, uh, yeah. Everybody has to bring up that you're a comic if you show that you're a comic in your app and I don't know I Like you would approach people like how would you approach people? I? This one I was drinking. Yeah, I don't think I approached the only time I I Would I dated so I met an ex-girlfriend while we were filming something

I dated, I met an ex-girlfriend while we were filming something, but it was never like, I didn't walk up to her. There was already a situation where I could talk to her. Other exes, I'm trying to think since I've stopped drinking. Cause drinking makes everything. Yeah, I'm a Caminos guy. So I'll like do that and then that's it. I saw, I clocked them, I was like, oh, that's what I,

those are the kinds of. Those little sours, little gummies. Gummies are great. It's pretty easy to my point. I don't think I'll ever do this as a standup bit, but I wrote this down. Regular gummies, what are you doing? No one cares, you fucking dorks.

You're going like, oh, it's like, I told Katie, it's like giving someone a glass of tonic. You go, I don't want this. Put gin in it. Yeah, you have Sour Patch. You're like two hours from now, this is gonna be great. Oh God, I'm about to meet dad again. You're like, here we go. And you go, nothing.

What the hell? Just a sugary buzz. Cause I like gummies. I just, yeah, but I get, edibles are terrible for meeting women. Weed in general is terrible for meeting women. I didn't want to drink a lot my freshman year of college. So I mean, I smoked the same amount of weed I smoke now,

but horrible for meeting women, horrible. Cause you're just high and then you're like, you notice stuff about them. You're like, do your teeth always click when you chew? And they go, yeah. And you go, I'm out. But if you're drinking, you're like, you got teeth? Yeah.

That's fucking cool. Come here, kiss me. Hi. You're like, what am I going to date a woman with eyelids? I'm not going to do it. Like fucking weirdo. Drinking was ultimately the thing that was how I met women. I'd get drunk and just walk up and be like, hey, how you doing?

And sometimes you'd stumble into something. Oftentimes you stumble into something horrible. Because you're drinking, you're drunk and you're up and be like, hey, how you doing? Yeah. And sometimes you'd stumble into something. Oftentimes you stumble into something horrible. Yeah. Cause you're drinking, you're drunk and you're misreading it. You're like, this girl's fun. And on dates, like I've been on a couple and it is drinks. And I'm not a big drinker. How long were you in the relationship for?

Seven years. Wow. Coming out of that. What date was the worst so far? Like a date where you just go do you hit a moment where you go like like is it too soon after the breakup? Is the connection wrong? Where you just have a moment where you're sitting there and you go like what are we doing? There are times yeah I can't there was, like one of the earlier ones where it was real, this is what stinks.

The, I had a great date where I'm like, I'm a good hang. So I'm like, I can handle that. And we have a good time. It goes well. And even like lasts longer than we both said we would be able to go out. And then, end so good where I'm like, oh, the kids still got it.

And then the next day, the text, you get the, and I've got the long text I've gotten a couple times now. Well, you see how long it is and you go. I go, this is gonna end with let's go out again. Yeah. Come over and fuck me right now. So these are all the reasons I need you to get over here. Right fucking now.

You know when it starts with you're a great guy, it ends with get over here. Or yeah, or I just wanna tell you how much fun I had last night. Yeah, and I can't wait to do it again. Oh, god damn it. Do me a favor, stop telling me how great I am. Dude, I went on a date and the girl started talking about comedy, but her opinions of

comedy made me angry. Oh, they didn't gel? Yeah, no. And then the waitress came up and talked about a bar show that I had been on with a couple other comics like Listen a couple of people that I love and the waitress was like rock and roll kind of type or whatever very cute And it's so funny when you go you sit down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah You bring me lunch. You're trying to do the Seinfeld switch. Yeah, I don't want yeah This one's awesome. Yeah, I was like, have you ever seen this guy? He's

This one's awesome. That girl's like, have you ever seen this guy? He's hilarious. And you're like, he sucks. And then this girl's like, oh my God, I went to Boxcar. And it was like you, List, and Nick Mullen, and Stavros, and you guys all murdered. And you're like, sit down. You're up.

And it was. And it was like, again, another long text where she's like, I had so much fun in our lunch date Damn, dude. There's always something that's always something where you still blow it somehow or you'll blow it You'll be like fuck the the mentioning of who they like as a comic actually does tell you a lot Dude, it would make me so mad. Yeah, and There have been times where I'm like not only do I love that you love this person, we could go see them tonight. If you like, I can go, I can hit them up

and they can meet us here. I mean, Katie's taste in comedy is impeccable. So it was awesome when we started dating. And I was like, what about that? And she's like, I love that guy. I was like, you wanna go see it? She was like, yeah. And it was just like, she was like so stoked

that we got to go see Nate at a town hall. She's like, you can get me in to see Nate. I was like, I fucking hope so. It's a bigger problem for me if we can get it. But I've had it. I've dated girls that don't get it. And you're like, oh, you don't, or they'll like say who their favorite comic is. And you're like, yeah. An ex of mine. One time was like, I was watching this guy on Netflix and I was like, don't say it. Don't say it. She's like Chris D'Elia. And you're like, I was watching this guy on Netflix and I was like, don't say it, don't say it. She's like, Chris D'Elia?

And you're like, oh no. That's who I pictured when you said hilarious earlier. Yeah, you go, oh you got hot girl brain. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. And then in my head I went, just wait. Yeah, yeah. No, it's funny now to go, all right.

Yeah, he ain't coming up now. I don't, I think you're a little too old for him. I think you're a little too old for him. I think you're a little too old and a little too independent for him. But it does. It's like, it's, and he's a nice guy, but it does, you want, whoever you date, you want them to have a similar sense of humor as you.

Big time. I feel like it'd be tough if you're a woman and you're dating a guy and they were like, the guy is like a hometown super fan or like even me, if you're like too big of a fan of me and they were like the guy is like like a come town super fan or like even me if you're like too big of a fan of me and they're like I like would get I wouldn't be mad if someone was like look at the risk of sounding like I'm blowing smoke if I went on a date with a woman and she was a fan of you I'd be like this is great yeah I just got some kids somewhere. Yeah. Check that history.

We're not getting a girl fresh out of college. That's a woman that's lived life. She's like, Dan Soder. It's like, yeah, he's like a scar on a knuckle. That's amazing. It just makes you feel good. And you go, Jesus, that's so great. I don't fault all of hot girls sometimes Or women in general and guys will sometimes like shittier stuff and you can get them to like better stuff Yeah, not always out of the realm of possibility. That's actually a very fun to do

Yeah, go like you've never heard this person. Yeah, like this person. Yeah. Because then you see them become a fan, then it's awesome. I've always done that with music. I've had exes that were great with that with music. Where they'd be like, oh, you never heard this band, you should listen to this band, and then that's a connection where you go like, that's incredible. With Katie, we share like,

I'll get into something, I'll play it for her, maybe she's into it, maybe she's not, but then you get into it and you're like, fucking, all right, awesome, now I have a new favorite band. But man, when they say something you hate, you're like, fucking, all right, awesome. Now I have a new favorite band. Yeah. But man, when they say something you hate, you're like, oh. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, with the movies too. I'm a big Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber guy. Yeah, have you had women say they don't like it? Yeah. Who doesn't like Dumb and Dumber? You know, women. Yeah, I get it if it's like an artsy flick that's like a little deep and you don't get it.

I understand that, like that, but when you're like, that's a classic. Yeah, now I'm fine with you not knowing it. Yeah. Totally fine with that. And I won't even do the, let's go watch it together. I'll go watch it and let me know what you think. Cause if we-

Too much pressure watching someone watch something. I will not make anyone sit through that. I've also, here's another why I'm a hero as a single man. I started learning guitar and I refuse to play for a woman. I will never play for a woman. What date? What date did I start? What date would you show her you play the guitar?

Because eventually she'd have to see it. You walk in and the axe is in the corner of the room. She's gonna go, what are you doing with that? I think during her second trimester. That's so funny. I would start. Sing to the baby? I'm gonna sing to the it. You walk in and the axe is in the corner of the room. She's gonna go, what are you doing with that? I think during her second trimester, I would start. Sing to the baby. I'm gonna sing to the baby. She goes, you sing? Do I? That's when you pull the pick out of the neck. You go, cool treat for you. Cause I went to the, I went to college at the birth of Facebook.

I was in college for the birth of Facebook, basically for like the birth of online. So there was no hive mind. No one, not everyone knew that the guy pulled out the guitar and did wonderwall. Yeah. I just hated him. Yeah. And then you find out other people do it. And my friend, so Kevin Sullivan, Sully, he lives in England now.

He's a fucking phenomenal guitar player. Did the music for my comedy central special oh not special that's how talented he is he was like we couldn't get clear to song he's like I'll just make a song that sounds like it and he did it it's like that kind of musical talent kind of like kevy how fucking musically talented Wow but my friend he never tried to get pussy with it you just play in his room and you'd walk in and you'd be like are you like a virtuoso that's why he's good and he'd be like yeah and you just like place and I bet can'd walk in and you'd be like, oh, you're like a virtuoso. That's why he's good. And he'd be like, yeah, and you'd just like play,

and I'd be like, can you play this? And he'd be like, just on an acoustic guitar. And then one time we did Mushrooms, it's my freshman year of college, and we were walking around the Arizona mall at the University of Arizona, it's called the mall, but it's just like this long strip, very high on mushrooms. I started freaking out.

And so I went back to my dorm room and I was just laying. I had like a, my desk and then the bed over the desk. So I crawl on my bed and I'm just like laying, staring at the ceiling. And then I hear Sully knock on my door and he goes, hey man, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm just tripping on mushrooms. And he goes, that's awesome.

You want me to pull my amp in here and jam? And I was like, that would be so sick. And he just brought his guitar and it was just like dude one of the greatest moments of my college career history It was just laying in my fucking bed being like I am Tripping nuts and I would just like yell out a song. I'd be like Could you scar tissue by red hot chili peppers and you just start playing it and I'd be like what about zeppelin black dog? You just start playing any song I yelled out. It was fucking awesome. Dude.

Great trip. That's amazing. Also, that was the trip that I learned to not look into mirrors on mushrooms because you age, you're aging very fast in real time. I only take, I took them since the breakup. I had to go. Ego death? Yeah.

I'm due for one. Yeah. How much did you take? I don't know how much I took. A comedian friend of mine trips at me and he goes, this is how much you're going to take. Oh, that's what you need. Yeah. And he told me everything I had to do is like eat at this time. Do this, do this, do this. I'll give you a launch schedule. A lot of times people just tell you like, we're going to throw you up in the air.

Here's what you shouldn't do. Drink milk if you wanna come down, drink orange juice if you wanna go higher up. Oh really? That was like my, that was like the old wives tale that I heard, cause milk coats your stomach. Sure. So it'll take out the psilocybin spores that are like,

but again, I'm not, I don't, someone online can be like, that's not true at all. And I'd be like, yeah, you're probably right. Right. But, um, I've had to hit the milk a couple of times where you're just absolutely flying high and you go, this is too much. I'm going to crush. I've had to hit the milk as a great expression. Chug a glass of milk and then an hour later, you're like, okay. Yeah. I'm shelved back up. I'm not, it is

mushrooms are, I think everyone should have to do three grams of mushrooms once in their life. Just sit there and do it. I think I'm gonna do it once a year, maybe. It's great, I'm due. I haven't done it since 2018, 2019. So I'm owed. Yeah? Well, what do you think about the once a year thing

I just said? I love it. I used to do that. Is that fair? That's great. I, I'm gonna fuck it. I'm gonna make this promise on this podcast and then I'll just do it.

We've been talking for years about me and Ari Shafir getting a cabin with Mike Vecchione, but Vecchione did mushrooms already without me. But I think it's time we do it. You do mushrooms with Ari, you do mushrooms. And it is. Yeah, that sounds terrible. That's the Sherpa, dude.

Ari is the Sherpa. He'll lead you up the mountain and he'll lead you back down again. I've done The hardest drugs I've ever done have been with our Shafir and they've always been a good experience I believe I believe that he's got your back in that situation But I also believe it's probably more intense than anything I've ever it is the exact same as I felt when billions hired a stunt Coordinator for our boxing scene and it was the most intense man I've ever met in my life where he's like, I will keep you safe. Here is what's going to happen.

Fake fight. We should have to throw fake punches. He's like, that's not, but like that kind of stunt energy where they're like, you will get hit hard. It will hurt. You will be okay. And you're like, oh my God. But it was like, um, mushrooms are an incredible experience. I'm very glad I did. I've always wanted to. And where did you do them at your place? At my place.

Did you go outside? I didn't. You stayed inside. I stayed inside. Old move. Tough thing to be kenneled up. Yeah. Uh, looking at Pimp because I know Pimp does mushrooms you could never you gotta go outside

That's what I heard but I was afraid to go outside I like I was afraid to do too much more than what I was already doing Yeah, the fear is part of it though. Yeah, I the fear and being outside and realizing we're all an organism Just one giant organ. I reached that inside. I will say. Well, I had cats. So when they were around. What was that like? I mean, we were. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Did they treat you different the next day? Did they like, at the end of the morning, like, hey, you still fucked up? You were weird as fuck, dude. Start licking their ass. Yeah, they go, all right. Yeah, because I wonder how Myrtle would be if I was tripping my ass off. I was like, Myrtle, I love you. And she'd be like, Yeah, I love you too. What is this? But I do love

doing mushrooms again. It was an amazing experience. I really love that. It's very fun. The best part of mushrooms is the coming down because you have the lessons, you're not scared and you just kind of get to enjoy. I've always used the analogy that it is the exact same as one of those launchers at the carnival. You know, when they strap you into those seats and they pull you down and they go one, two, three and you get launched. You're like, ah, yeah. But then you're up there and then you're like, Oh cool. You go down and then you come back. Oh fuck. That's awesome. And you're like, oh cool. And you go down and then you come back over like, ah.

And you're like, oh fuck, that's awesome. And then you're like, by the fourth bounce, you're like, oh, that's what that looks like. Oh, look, I can see that over there. And then you come back down and you're like, that was a fun fucking ride. Such an informative ride and really great. And I always knew I was gonna do them

and a breakup's a good time to do it. Absolutely. I was like, here's my, yes, exactly. I'm break up's a good time to do it. Absolutely. I was like, yes, exactly. I'm like, here's my time to do it. And, uh, it was really informational and great. You didn't have the feeling of reaching out. Did you? Okay.

Good. Cause when you're high on mushrooms, you're like, I got something to say. I just figured out what I would say. Don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah. Isn't it crazy how hard it is to text on mushrooms? I hid my phone from me. Great. Yeah crazy how hard it is to text on mushrooms? I hid my phone from me.

Great, have you ever tried to text on mushrooms? It is hard, dude. What? You get on there and you're like. Is it like, oh, like. It's just the light is fucked up. It's not, texting now you're like, and you put it down on mushrooms,

you're like, I gotta find the letter. Sorry for telling the story again, but is appropriate for the situation in 2018 I went and saw Queens of the Stone Age in Sweden and found out that Pearl Jam was playing in Amsterdam like three days later and My friend Mike and I were taking a week vacation to do Sweden Amsterdam Iceland those we wanted to go to the whitest places on earth and we did week vacation to do Sweden, Amsterdam, Iceland. Those we wanted to go to the whitest places on earth. And we did, but they don't have mushrooms in Amsterdam. They have truffles, which are different.

They are different. Okay. And I went and bought a dose for one, which is just no way there's a dose for one guy, but I bought truffles and we were going to the arena. That's where Pearl Jam was. And so I ate three fourths of it and my friend ate a fourth of it.

And I was like, I've done mushrooms. I was too cocky. That was the problem. If you're ever too cocky with drugs, it's like we were talking about, if you get cocky with something, you're about to get shown up. You're about to be like, like a shift at a restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuckin' whatever. You're too cocky, you're about to get shown up. You're about to be like, like a shift at a restaurant,

fucking whatever. You're too cocky, you're about to get ear holed. So I was like, I was like, this is fine dude, I'll eat this and then I'll be fine. And I ate it in line while we were going into the arena, cause I knew they were gonna check me. So we get through,

and faster than any mushrooms I've ever taken, it started hitting me. And it started hitting me hard. To the point that we were waiting, Europe doesn't have openers for bands, bands just go. So you go see Pearl Jam, you're just seeing Pearl Jam. On time? Yes, like they start,

you're not seeing like an opening band, you're not gonna see like band of horses, then Pearl Jam. You're just gonna see Pearl Jam. I didn't know that. So I'm like, the lights are on and I'm like, I haven't still got time. And I'm starting to have heavy visuals, like heavy, heavy visuals, which I never get on mushrooms. And I'm like, okay. And Mike Fu for those bonfire fans, remember him? Uh,

Beret and what would they call them? Fartbox and Beret. But it, my friend, Foo Jack, uh, one of my best friends, I look at him and I go are you feeling okay and he goes feeling great and then I'm like tripping and I go you sure you feel and later he told me that's what flipped them am I feeling all right and then he's like I don't think I'm feeling all right so there's a smoking room at this arena. Yeah. But it's all metal in a fucked up way. If you live in Amsterdam or been to Amsterdam, been to this arena, you don't know what I'm talking about. It's all metal sounds in the way that the acoustics of sounds on mushrooms are very important. You hear things different. So I walk into

this fucking room and it's like, it's Dutch in English and so I'm just like tripping out and I'm like I get the fuck out of here so I get a water and a Heineken zero but they're in cups and I'm walking into the arena to go meet up with Lou my friend Lou and his friend Amanda who are where we were standing sure food Jack gone is in the smoking section so I just go in by myself and the lights, they're playing Queens of the Stone Age if I had a tail. Favorite band, great song, what an omen. I'm walking in and the lights go off

and I go like, uh oh. And then it's just like whispering and I'm going like, excuse me, and no one's moving. I'm going like, excuse me, and they're like mad at me. They're like, get out of here. And I'm like, I'm tripping now. I'm like full, excuse me. And they're like mad at me. They're like, get out of here. And I'm like, I'm tripping now. I'm like full on tripping. And it's like the beer is splashing on me, water is splashing on other people.

They're going like, oh, yeah. And they're speaking in Dutch. Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know. Excuse me. And I'm like trying to get through. And at one point, these two people won't move. And I'm like, to get through and at one point these two people won't move and

I'm like, excuse me, excuse me. And then I look at this woman, she looks at me and I go, I can't find my friend. And she goes, I was just about to say, I don't know. And I just gave up and I just walked to the back of the arena and was tripping my ass off. And I, that's one I was texting and I texted Lou, I'm in the very back, couldn't get to you tripping too hard. Just sent the text, not knowing if it's going to go through. And then I'm just standing there and then Foo Jack, I see him start walking. So I start going, Foo, Foo.

I told this story recently, because someone DMed me and was like, that means something in Holland. That's like a bad thing to say out loud. So I'm just yelling this thing like Foo. And people are like, whoa, I grabbed my friend. And then I see him and his eyes are like this.

And we just sat there and watched Pearl. And then Lou came back with his friend. Wow. But that was like a hard trip, because I was like, I was so lost. And that was my, I'm never doing mushrooms at a concert again. Concerts are tough, they're too tough. I gotta be outside, I gotta be away from, I'm too old.

Concerts and edible, you know, whatever. Edible I can do. Mushrooms, what's that? In Dutch language, foo is not a common or standard word. The closest word is for or Fooey, which means tip in the context of giving a gratuity after a, well, that's not true at all. That can't, yeah, that can't have giving gratuity. They're like, why do I want gratuity? In the Netherlands, Foo or F slash U is commonly used as an abbreviation for follow up. It's often seen in emails or other digital.

I mean, that's, that's so funny. It's like, I do not need to follow up with you. What am I following up for? I'm like, I just want to go home. But as fast, I will say this about truffles, as fast as I went up, I came down just as fast. By the end of the night, I was fine. And usually on mushrooms, did you have the moment where you had to like sit with it and wear,

and then like the next day be like, am I back? Yeah, a lot of that. The first thing I did when two people shepherd me, or Sherpa, and as soon as I left, I cleaned my whole apartment, sobbing. That's good, that's a breakthrough. Yeah. That's a good breakthrough.

And then you wake up the next day and you go, got the rest of my life. Yeah. Got the rest of my life in front of me. Yeah. And I wasn't even thinking of anything to trigger the sob. Yeah. I think it was just like, I don't-

So you had to get out. Yeah. You just opened the door, dude. Yeah. Stuff comes out when you open the door. It beautiful yeah it was really great oh my god I want to do mushrooms this whole conversation I'm like I might trip my balls off soon and just get absolutely like pie-eyed and being like yeah oh it's me that's how I always end my trips I go like, I'm the problem. Oh yeah. I mean, that's my goal was to be like,

all right, let's look at, let's look this way and stop looking out that way. Well, you know, they used to use MDMA for terminally ill AIDS patients. Like that's what ecstasy was originally for. They'd give MDMA to people that were terminal either with cancer or with AIDS, and they would do it under the guise of a therapist.

And a therapist would give people MDMA to be with their families so they could properly express themselves before they died. Wow. And also the family would take MDMA in order to receive and they would do, this was a big practice in the, I think, look it up in the late 80s,

when AIDS was ripping through motherfuckers. They were like, do a little ec ecstasy. He goes, honey, how do you think I got here? He goes, bitch, if I would have not taken this in the bath house, we wouldn't have to have this little fucking sad meeting. This is the funniest thing. He goes, oh, I know this. What is this? Nike? I don't do Nike. I've got holes in my brain. Just an old, just a bath house legend. He's still sassy. Yeah. He goes, oh, I wish the serotonin was drained. Bitch, I got Swiss, I got Swiss cheese brain. Good luck getting me to do that.

But I had never done, have you ever done MDMA? No. Have you ever done it, Pimp? No. Brother? People at home? People. Have you ever done it, Pimp? No. Brother? People at home? People that have done it at home, if you've ever done pure MDMA,

the only drug I can think that's better than it is propofol. I keep hearing about propofol because of surgery and what? Yeah. You've done it? Yeah, it's the best. I just had a colonoscopy, I had a dual colonoscopy and endoscopy. Yeah, I got fucking, I got spit roasted by my doctor.

Oh my, they were doing it at the same time? No, they did. They high-fived? Yeah, they do the colonoscopy, they wipe it off on their gene and then they throw it down your throat. They go, I'm just going to give them hep A. I get the wrong order. Oh, you're supposed to do endo then colon. Oh, I had this upside down. Oh, you end up upside down.

Oh, this chart's reversed. I got a shit mustache cause he fucking jammed it. Now they clear you out on that colonoscopy. You just get fucking, you get jelly shits by the end of it. It's crazy. They tell you to drink this drink and it's like, you know, clear out. You go, no, well then you drink it. You go, like within 15 minutes you're just shitting everything out. But they gave me propofol for that. Please. I took the rest of the day off

because I just wanted to enjoy the propofol high. Oh my God. Because you wake up and you're like, it's the best. It's what Michael Jackson died of. Yeah. It's what his doctor was giving him. And you get it.

If you're the fucking king of pop, take some propofol. Yeah. Because it helps you sleep. And brother, does it help you sleep? But takes a propofol. Yeah. Cause it helps you sleep. And brother does it help you sleep. But outside of propofol, this pure MDMA that Ari got us at, the Sherpa got us at Bonaru,

2016 was like, possibly the best drug experience I've ever had in my life. Man. We took it, saw LCD sound system, and it was just pure MDMA. It was like, to the point that I had, I don't think I've ever felt love like that.

Like, I was turning to people that were there and being like, I've never felt this good. Like, I was like telling people that. Like, the warmth in my chest is so good. And people are like, watch out, you're gonna be really sad the next day. I woke up, I was like, I was fucking rad. You didn't crash.

I didn't crash. I woke up the next day, now we did it again, the second night with mushrooms and it was not good. It was, that was a lot. If I hear him say, oh God. Yeah, it was that. It was bad. It was bad.

In fact, Pimp and I were talking about, that was the episode of, you know what dude in bonfire I did, that wasn't the same trip. That was me trying to get back what we did on that trip. Where I was like, all right, let's do MDMA again. And then he got it from not a reliable source, cut with speed.

And then you're up for two days and you're fucking tweaking. It sucks. But pure MDMA, there's a reason they're giving it to AIDS patients in the 80s. Because you do, you like relate. Gotta let it out, dude. We're all bunched up, everyone's bunched up. Completely agree with that. Yeah, mushrooms is probably as far as I'll go.

Smart. But it's wonderful. It is great. Yeah. And now it's getting legalized in states and stuff and people need to take it because it humbles you greatly. Love being humbled, love feeling connected to other people, love removing the center of the universe feeling, the ego death, all that. Love.

Well you go like, oh it really is. I kept the first time I did mushrooms, it was one of the first times I did it, I kept thinking of the Bill Hicks joke where he said, we're just a virus in shoes. And I was like, yeah, that's a, and then you're wondering, then he's got a great bit about him and his friends doing mushrooms and driving in his dad's car.

And they left the door open and it was one of those 80s cars that would say stuff. And it would keep saying, the door is a jar. The door is a jar. And I was laughing at that joke, because he's like, the door can't be a jar. It's a door. It's not a jar, it's a door.

I think of you whenever I hear, and I think you'll know what this is from, Regan's Cannonball Wound bit. Did you? No. Because there was a thing for Regan where comics were asked to say their favorite Regan bits Oh, yeah, and you were quoted for that one. I love that one. Yeah, he goes don't stand in front of a cannon how true

True that is did you not do the thing? I told you to do just Just when he acts it out where he goes, here's an ointment. Yeah goes, yeah, he does the entire hole. It's great. It's amazing. He goes, oh, okay. I walked on the moon top three hours of stand up ever done. I completely agree. You know, obvious. I still get to work with them. Very fortunate.

Fucking he's the best. A lot of people say Brian Regan live. I think I walked on the moon is my favorite. I walked on the moon, makes me still laugh the same as it did the first time I heard it every time I watch it. Yeah. When he just keeps all your food cold for 800. Yeah.

And he goes to have a good flight. You too, whenever you're flying again. It's like that. I think about that every time I'm in a cab. Yeah. Like those are those bits where you're like, this is such a good bit. He opens with an eight minute bit of the emergency room.

But it's so good. Yeah, it's so say 10, say eight or he goes, the pain threshold. He goes, they say that eight is a broken femur. Who's over here from the femur ward walking around going, he's doing the scream? It's the best. Go watch Brian Regan, watch Steven special, but then watch Brian Regan.

I walked on him. Definitely watch mine before you watch his. But then, but then I watched, and that was done in an improv. What? Irvine improv. Really? I think the old one.

Yeah, okay. The new one's giant. Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure it's the Irvine improv. Really? I think the old one. Yeah, okay, not the new one. The new one's giant. Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure it's the Irvine improv and I've talked to him about the special a lot. Does he get annoyed with it the way Attelle gets annoyed when you bring up skanks for the memories? I don't think so. I've talked to Attelle about skanks for the memories

and a couple times he's like, okay. Yeah. And you're like, I just really love what you did this joke on it. Yeah. Being a comic that's also a comedy nerd can be dangerous for the hang. It's very dangerous for the hang. Uh, I had, thankfully I've had good comedians like break that to me gently. Who did it? List is one of them. I would be Fanny. Listen that to you.

I would be Fanny to list. And, uh, he goes, Hey, we're friends. He's like, you're not, I'm not, cause I'd be like, Hey, thanks for like, I'd like thank him for hanging with me. Well, I'm like, you know, cause I'm, thanks for hanging out with me. And this is like, listen, Joe just go to one of these. What? Yeah. Classic Joe list. What? I've never seen anyone do that face but him, so that was beautiful.

I've been, he's just done it to me so much. No, I. When he'll say something to me, I go, what? And then he goes, ah, fuck. Yeah. That's how you know you're in trouble with List. You go, oh no, did I say something I shouldn't have said? Yeah. What?

We were in Vermont, and I hung out with him and Sarah. And I was like, hey guys, thanks for hanging. And Joe goes, we're friends, you gotta stop doing that. And I'm like, oh. It's a good way of saying that. Yeah. And it was like, oh, okay. The balance of, cause I'm never trying to be like,

like me by complimenting you. I'm never complimenting a comic for them to like me. Sure. Which a lot of comics do. 100%. Which people do in every business. Yes. There's people in every line of work

where they're sucking ass to get ahead instead of being 100% sincere. And as someone that doesn't get complimented a lot, I can tell the difference. Uh, but like, it's always just because I'm a huge fan of the game. Yeah. So I'm like, I want you to know I see what you're doing and I'm a fan of it. But then you do have to know the levels.

Colin Quinn helped me tame mine. Oh yeah? Yeah. I was opening for him in I think it was like Binghamton, New York. We were in long drive and we gotten to the car and he goes, I don't wanna hear any of your stupid fucking comedy questions, I'm working on these bits. It was when he was working on Unconstitutional.

Which is a fantastic hour. Very appropriate now. But he's like going through his notes. He's like literally talking about the Constitution. And I asked a couple questions already. We get in the car and he goes, I don't wanna hear any comedy questions. I gotta fucking learn this stupid fucking document.

You know, just like being Colin. And then I remember exactly the motion. We were like two hours into the drive and he has his legal pad and he just throws it onto the dash and he goes, all right, what do you wanna know? And I was like, okay, you started with Chris Rock and Adam Sandler. 1984, what was that like?

And then he slowly, through the conversation, was kind of like, don't do this. Be a fan of comedy, but don't be too big of a fan of comedy. He did it in a very polite, awesome Colin way of doing it. But he said something that will always stick with me. He was like, your generation's doomed. You guys know everything that happened, so you're comparing yourselves against every joke because you've known every joke that's been written, so you're not letting yourself get there organically. You're stopping yourself because Seinfeld did a similar bit in 1985

that you should not know exists. And I was like, oh fuck. And when he said that to me, I was like very sobering. To be like, yeah, maybe I am gripped too tight on this. 100%, I feel like I'm a victim of it. We're all victims of it, of this hustle, comedies, everything mentality where it's like, well, that's actually hurting me. Yeah, it's holding you back.

Yeah, it's holding me back by not absorbing everything else that isn't comedy in order to make comedy. To turn it into comedy. It is Jesse Spano on caffeine pills. Yeah. I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so scared. Then you go, that's what comedy is.

You get to do it. But you have a phenomenal special out now on YouTube. Watch it. We'll put the link below in the description. Follow Steven. He's fucking hilarious. And that's not just me saying it, Joe. Liz says that.

All the comics that I love, love Steven. Check out his new hour special directed by Homeless Pimp. So it's an in-house, it's all on the same team, baby. That's right. So check it out. Steven Rogers, you're a fucking hilarious. Thank you for coming by. Thank you for having me.

And I hope you find a lady in real life, not on those dastardly apps. DM me ladies. Hey, he's got a big Schwantz, do it. His ex even said it. Wait a minute. He's got a big Schwantz! Do it! As X even said it!