Soder - 85: Ice skating in Texas with Ali Siddiq | Soder Podcast | EP 83

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

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Syracuse, New York. It's been over 15 years, but I return to the funny bone. I've actually yeah, I think I've done the funny bone once. June 13th, June 14th. I'm going to be at the funny bone for four shows. Dance order.com and then Stanford, Connecticut, New York comedy club in Stanford, June 20th and June 21st for four shows. Dancer.com for all my dates. Thank you for letting me plug you. I plugged the shit out of you. I say this all the time, if my wife talked to me like Eric Abrams,

we would have the perfect relationship. She goes, hey, I understand what you were going for. Maybe we readdress it. That's for a successful marriage. One of you needs to be a director, just like a very patient director. Eric, I would call Eric and I'd say, like a very patient director. Eric, I would call Eric and I say, well, this is what I want.

And then, cause he never says no. Yeah. Never says no. Then he calls you back and he was like, well, I don't think that's gonna work out, but I have four other options for you. Great. Because then you're not going,

you're not left with like, when they say no, you're not left with like, well then what are we gonna do? You're left with like, oh, these are the four options? Well, let me take, what do you got? Because you're immediately still moving forward. Yeah, like, hey, I want a piano. Like, I want a zip line to the stage.

What did you want originally in my, and what did you want on the special? Oh, it, cause he's taped every special that I've ever done. Oh really? Yeah, Eric Abrams has taped all of them. He did all Domino effect? All the Domino effect, yeah. It's been-

That's fucking awesome. I love, I love that, like a collaboration like that, because there's like a comfort in making stuff where you just kind of come in and go, hey, you know how I want to make it. So it's like. The same, I have the same director, the same cinematographer, the same editing person.

And also it gives it a feeling. Like each thing it's got a little bit of like, you know, a flavor to it where you go, I know this. Eric had, Eric, the reason why it's called a domino effect is because of Eric. The first one was actually called 1983. Try it out. That's where I was born. I was starting it in 1983. That's when you started hustling?

That's when the Domino's Fet. Yeah, that's when I moved in with him in 1983. Really? So it was so unoriginal. It was like, and the whole time I was- I would have loved it, but I was born in 83. So I would have been popping for the wrong reason. I'd be like, that's a great name.

Everyone's like, their name sucks. I was like, shut the fuck up. I was born then. I like that. I like it. Yeah. He, um, man, he's Eric Abrams is the best. I wit I've never even thought of that of working with the same person, you know, like we make all this stuff. He did my last special, but my HBO special was Chris Storer. And then he went and made the bear. So I don't think I can get him back. I don't think I can go like, Hey, can you leave one of the most acclaimed shows to direct me do my silly stories?

And I think they're doing what's that? I think they'll do it. Yeah, Chris was the fucking man It is fun when you find someone to work with in any field that Understands kind of what you want to get across because man if I told someone on paper About your special, they'd be like, well, how long is that? And you're like, an hour? Dude, it felt like, when I watched the special last night, it felt like 30 minutes.

Like, I was like, I looked down, I was like, oh, fuck, it's over. When you were like, thank you, Dallas, I was like, no fucking way. First off, the story about your son at the cookout giving the fancy, I was laughing about that after I watched the special because there's something about going, please go watch the special.

That's why, you know, just click the link below. Go watch Oli Siddique's new special, My Two Sons, on YouTube where he talks about both of his sons, his older one and his younger one, but the younger one that grew up rich, the whole idea of going to the neighborhood that your dad grew up in and being fancy is so funny. Because that's how I felt when I used to visit my dad

in Northern California, was my mom had me in like a nice suburb in Aurora, green belt, I played little league, I was on an AYL team, Everyone's like, yeah. And then I'd go to my dad and I'd be like, Does everyone think I'm gay? I was like, I was like 12 years old. But I'd be like, and specifically, I remember, they're getting like blackout drunk at the lake because these are lake people. Yeah, lake whites. Let me tell you something about them. They are a dangerous bunch. They're a

dangerous bunch. Anyone're a dangerous bunch. Anyone that stays by a lake that isn't rich is a fucking dangerous bunch. And I remember being at my dad's girlfriend's house, super white trash, you know what I mean? And I'm like, we have dinner at six. Because that's when my mom cooks dinner. Every night my mom will cook dinner, single mom, but she would make sure we had dinner at six o'clock. Had a plan.

Had a plan. We're gonna have a vegetable, a carbohydrate, and a source of protein. My dad, I'm watching him just down another fifth of a cart and he goes, I'll do a hamburger helper at like midnight. I'm like fighting sleep as a kid. But I'm interested to know when your son grows up, if he had that same feeling of like,

you're kind of aware that you might be embarrassing your dad. There is, did you feel like he had any of that in him? No, he didn't give a damn. He didn't give a fuck? Yo man, I would take two dozen oysters. Yeah, that was my favorite part where he was like, I don't eat catfish, what else do you have? And they're like, flounder, so funny.

He don't give a damn, he is like, yo man, this is, I literally, this kid, and I love him for it, he, we were going somewhere and he literally said, is this the regular line or the VIP line? So fucking funny. And I was like, yo man, it doesn't matter what line. And then I had to think about it. We had just went to the Rockets game.

And we went through the entrance where the players go through. Because I was shooting the shot for charity. So it was a whole thing. And it's like, hey man, my first experience at this particular place, I came through and it was, we parked our truck by all the rest of the other fancy trucks and we walked through and it was, I had a name tag, they knew I was coming.

Like, why am I on a regular line? Why would you think this is how regular people go in? Everyone gets a name tag. Like, hey, look who's here. He's like, how you doing? I'm excited to get drunk and kicked out when I yell something at one of the players. It is, you know, I always think about that when

I see kids in first class. I'm always like, when we're flying somewhere and a kid's just sitting there, like with their screen time, and you're like, you have no idea how bad a middle seat is all the way in the back and how much waiting you have to do. So Hassan, I can see how Hassan is like he is. Hassan has had a passport since he was two years old. See, that's insane to me.

I remember being a grown man and having, I felt retarded. I felt like when they let special needs people live on their own and they show them how to like make stuff and they go, you got to do this. And I go, and I do it like that. And they're like, you did do it. Like that's how it was with my passport thing. I was like, where do I go? And they're like, the government, you have to go to a government building.

Like I wanted to go to like the passport store, but someone who's two years old and is just like, oh God, he's gonna be like, it's funny to think he's like, you know, 12. And he's like, look how young I was in my passport photo. It's like, you're two years old. He's 14 now. It's 14. So he is like, yo, this is, he has his,

his passports that he's, he has to change them at this point. And he has the stamps and he's like, yo, look where, look look where look at the place I've been because did you know that they won't stamp it Israel if you go because the other countries won't like it if you go in there with it and you go how do you know so much about geopolitical fucking shit he is he do you do a thing I don't have kids we're not having kids you know we got uncle and aunt energy, and I think that's great. I think if I had a kid, I would constantly be like thinking about when I was 14.

I mean, when you were 14. You just made me laugh so hard on the side, because I've been with Eric for a long time. Yeah. And Eric was like, oh, we were just having the dogs, and we just had a dog. And Sam, his wife used to be my manager. Yeah, I remember. Yeah. And Eric was like, oh, we was just having the dogs and we just had a dog. And Sam, his wife used to be my manager. Yeah, I remember, yeah. So they just, you know, just having the dogs, X, Y, Z.

And then they got pregnant. Oh, okay. And I was like, oh, so you're not having a kid, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, I've had, I'm one of the group of multiple friends of mine that have been like no kids. And all of a sudden they go, this and you go this April what we were all in agreement what are you talking about and they're like this April a special little bundles joining

us and you're like motherfucker you didn't even want to pull me aside go hey we're out it we're off the team I can't wait to come back in a year now after this podcast no I'm gonna tell you right now what it's gonna be is it's 15 years and you have to walk up some grassy hill and you're just gonna hear a bunch of dogs howling. And you're like, so it lives up to that cabin at the end of that windy path. And I'm gonna come out with a long beard and go, it never happened. Maybe it should have. To not have children, you have to stop practicing.

Or you just go get your fucking shit done. to not have children, you have to stop practicing. Or you just go get your fucking shit done. You didn't snip your balls. I'm about to though. You're not doing it. Are you kidding me? I have a bunch of friends that do it. The process is crazy. It's scary.

For no reason. Like it's not a reason. I just don't want kids. Like I have a plethora of kids. I'm supposed to get clipped. Yeah, I know. You. I don't want kids.

I genuinely don't want kids. All is fun. Like you would be the best. I think I'd be, I think I would- A great dad. I think I could be a better, I could be a better uncle. I could imagine myself being your son

and I'm in trouble and you come in with the Sean Connery. Yeah, Sean Connery voice. Yeah. Disciplining your child and impressions. I don't know how. I would love it like, yo. He goes, I know. I just got in trouble about this.

I didn't say I wanted to do this. He goes, I know I'm in trouble when dad whoops my ass like Andre the Giant. And I'm like, I'm supposed to clean your room. I would love to. I said I would love it. Yeah. I would get in trouble to hear you

to see what you going to come in there and say. Yeah. You're like, oh, dude, if Rodney Dangerfield gives it to me today, he's like, I'm telling you, you've given your mother no respect. I should cook a hot meal for you. Now I'm gonna take you over my knee and get this shit out of here. I'll get my friends, hey, y'all come over.

It's even funnier to think about a domestic, like if I got taken in by child protective services and then I had to do like testimony and they're like, did you put your hands on your child? You go, I did not. Macho man Randy Savage. He's like, when the time comes to hear it, listen. And they're like, don't do it. I love it. Yeah. Just Arnold Schwarzenegger used to beat my ass as a kid. But I mean, like, you know, I think it's just a decision that I've made that I'm comfortable with. And I, it just was like, yeah, fuck it. I, you know, I'm all right.

I'm just gonna have a bunch of dogs and be a weird dude living on a hill. I always kind of knew I was headed that way too. Yeah, I always- When I was young, I always understood that. I would be like, that guy's weird. He lives up, fuck it. You know, and I'd be like, no, no, no.

I just got privacy. You're just a seven year old kid. You go, stay off that old man's land. You just got privacy. I're a seven year old kid, you go, stay off that old man's land. You just got privacy. I understand, because I own land and I don't want people that don't belong on it on it. Yeah, why would you? I've never, like the get off my grass sign.

Yeah. Like I want to purchase so many of them. Oh my God. Like stay off my fucking grass. Don't touch my shit. You and your dog. Like it's definitely a homeless cat that lives in our neighborhood. They be shitting in my yard in particular.

I can't wait to catch him. That's the fun part. Listen, the next step for me is getting out of an apartment in New York and getting into a house. Cause I went to Big J Lives in Jersey and I went out into a house because I went to big big Jay lives in Jersey and I went out to his house and it was like I got it I can't fucking coming back here don't come to my house is it that nice giant backyard you you would be so pissed oh my god we sat and we sat in Jay's backyard Katie and I sat in Jay's backyard and you might as well put army blankets around us

We felt like we just survived something. We're like sitting there like this is how people live. You said he's grass I have three acres. Oh fuck So you could take long walks in just on my it's all your shit while they've been Fuck it's a ravine in the back. my, it's all your shit. Where I live at. Fuck. There's a ravine in the back. It's, it's, and it was crazy. I bought this land based upon this.

I walked away from the house. Sure. And then I couldn't see the house down the, I went down this little hill and it's been like, yeah, this is all yours. And then I felt so peaceful. it felt so peaceful I just sat on the ground and I was like this is fucking awesome yeah I was like yo and do the paperwork bro that's insane it's it's crazy to have your own peace of mind like that just

to go somewhere and go I could take a dump right here and no one would say shit. My kids can run. My kids can run away on your land on my land and I I don't even I wouldn't even worry about them. I'm like yo they've been going outside forever. I don't know. That's got to be so like Hassan when he's, like camping, just going camping out in your backyard. Outside, we can go outside. Just go camp out back. Are there like, are there animals in your, what do you got?

It's everything that comes with, I've watched. Oh fuck, so you got like rattlesnakes and shit. I've watched these birds come as a group. They just flew in my bag, and they just, they did all this little picking that they was gonna do, and I was just like, I I didn't think about shooting none of them. I was just like That is fucking cool. Yeah, it's in this everything out there snakes turtles. It's my son was fishing and

He sent this is how crazy this damn boy is he's taking a selfie of him and he has his fishing rod and I see something else and then it's his white guy in the back and they caught this alligator that was attached to the fish and I'm like why is my son so comfortable when he's taking a selfie of it. That's so funny. Check out this rural white that popped up. I caught an alligator and a white guy.

He's like, how are you? That's insane. The guy got out and he helped him. Get an alligator. I was like, this is, they all. What a fun, that's fucking Huckleberry Finn shit. That's just like you just go run around in nature and fucking, I mean that's honestly probably

the coolest form of success for me is that you can just go get lost on your own land. I don't even know where I am. I might die out here. And it's a lady that lives in front of me that's a professor at Rice, at Rice University, very prestigious college, Ivy League College. She has a barn, she owns 22 acres that's in front of us.

Yeah. She has 22 horses that she rescued and all that. And she's out there every single day, her and her helper. And I've never waved at somebody so much from a distance. Because my land is over here, her land is over there. Hey! Hey! She goes, oh, you're black? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck, I just realized that.

I would also, if I were, let me tell you right now, if I found out my professor was out here saving 22 horses, I'd be like, how the fuck did you read my paper? Yeah. You're a fucking farmer. She's definitely that, I mean it's fucking. Do she let, if you go over there, can you just. Oh yeah, my kids ride horses.

You just go ride horses? Kids can ride horses. That's awesome. See that's the cool thing that like, for the stuff, and especially you talk about when you like want your son to stay with your cousin and that kind of like, keep that like your childhood or whatever, when I was 14 I couldn't be like,

yeah can you put new shoes on that horse and saddle it up? I'd be like, no, that's like me asking to get a passport. I was like stuck in this weird. You know, he was gonna be the dude that equestering, the equestering stuff. He did it when he was younger. So we had all a ride and get, he was taking the courses and all that.

Hassan is a fucking renaissance man. I love that. He just a fucking renaissance man. I love that. He just lives his life. He can just pull up and go, and he'd be like, get on father. He can do it. We ride, we're gonna ride for the daylight.

Hasan is fucking cool. Yeah, that's awesome. That is cool as shit that he can. So he is getting ready to start playing hockey, right? There I was, middle of summer, about to go swimming. No bathing suit in sight. Thank God I was on a comedy tour that was sponsored by Chubbies.

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Don't sweat it. Use our exclusive code SOTAR20 for 20% off. Support the show and let them know we sent you when the survey asks. Get ready to turn some heads. Summer's here. Dress like it. In chubbys.

I thought they were gonna say like dress like you're a chubby and I'm like well don't do that. Dress like you're not chubby. In chubbies, I thought they were gonna say like dress like you're chubby and I'm like, well don't do that Dress like you're not chubby in chubbies. Bam. I just gave you guys a new whole new catchphrase. You're lucky I'll just have another pair of shorts for free, please Listen, I always appreciate when people come out to shows I'm also not good at merch, but I've always wanted to sell merch The thing is the one time I tried to sell posters myself It was cash and it was clunky and I felt really weird where people were like Oh, let me go talk to the bartender and then I just ended up giving

You if you're a fan and you you know got one of those posters. I probably gave it to you and if you paid for it You're a sucker because all you had to do is go. I can't get changed and then I would have gone Ah, just take it but now with Square, charge the shit out of you. I'll take your credit card, a credit card, or ring that bitch up. Now, what I'm saying is Square helps people trying to run businesses. They bridge that gap.

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And why wait? Right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash Soder. One more time. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash Soder. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. So he is getting ready to start playing hockey right? He's out in Texas

because he box which is it's weird New York people y'all are so weird. You do know you do know they have ice rinks everywhere. For sure. I'm not blown away by the science of it. I'm not like over here like, hold the fuck on. How are you melting, how are you fucking freezing your points? So you, if we just play. It's always a crazy thing. And they like in Texas, like y'all, they don't melt, they don't melt.

Texas always strikes me as football one, baseball two. Hockey doesn't seem like it was, not if you were in Wisconsin, Ohio, even Arizona, when I lived in Arizona, I just found out one of the best players I'm getting into the NHL now. Because my in-laws are all Bruins fans. I'm getting into the NHL.

I think his name's Connor McDavid. Okay. All right. That's all. Okay. That's all. So, that is in Texas. I love that. I love that. That's fine. So that is in Texas. I love that. I love that. That's cool as shit.

He's showing me a routine of his daughter doing some figure skating. That's fun as hell. That's fun as hell. I love it. But Texas doesn't strike me as, see like when I grew up in Colorado, there was no hockey and Colorado's cold and shit. But then when I went to the East Coast, everybody was like, oh, my brother played hockey.

I played hockey. Everybody on the East Coast, I feel like plays hockey. Texas, Colorado, all that area, I didn't, I never saw it or even knew it. But you're right, now with all these indoor rinks, everyone can play. A lot of indoor rinks. Cause is he good at skating? Is Hassan good at skating? Very good at skating. Cause those rinks everyone can play. A lot of indoor rinks. Is he good at skating?

Is Hassan good at skating? Very good at skating. Because those motherfuckers can walk. It's like they're walking when they're on the ice. What we want them to do is least figure skate with his sisters so they can do the couple thing. Yeah. And then if they don't like that,

they can go into professional wrestling with the outfits. Yeah, but she is definitely, like she is highly recruited. That's awesome. She's been in eight competitions. She has six first places. Damn, all your kids compete. Cause your oldest son boxes.

Hassan Box. Hassan Box. And that's the thing about him on this hockey. Oh, they're fucked when they pulled out his jersey, first time. He really, like, it could be something happening on the other end of the ice and he's like. Ah! Like you're not even down there, it's such a job!

Oh my God, there is gonna be, when he starts doing those like, if he continues on and he does those like high level tournaments or whatever, he's gonna bump into a Canadian guy that's like, I'm gonna go watch me go chirp, watch me go chirp with this guy, and then Hasan's gonna drop those gloves. And it's gonna be a problem.

He's gonna be only a hockey fight going, sss, sss, sss. And they don't make that, and hockey fights they don't ever make that noise. Yeah. sss, sss, sss. And he goes, oh fuck, oh fuck. I mean, it's crazy. And Hasan is really good on the skates. How early did you get him into boxing?

Six. Six years old? Five, six. Now his older brother was, you did it, his older brother was doing it, so it was like, did you go to the same gym that you sparred your son at? He actually had, Asana's actually had his own trainer

since he was like five, six. Yeah, Coach E. That's crazy, just comes over and does boxing. Been the same, with the same, like I've been, with Eric, he's been with the same boxing coach. Isn't that. Just comes over in the same with the same Like I've been with Eric He's been with the same boxing isn't that cool that you can provide that to your kids that a personal boxing coach comes over Yeah, not having to learn how to throw from a your mom's drunk boyfriend Because it's a whole is how you hold the baseball and you go. Okay your breath stinks

Get some snap on it. You go don't hug me. I don't like when you hug me either. Just in the backyard throwing. He's like, that's it. And private coaches the shit. Yeah. And throwing the I mean, being able to throw your hands when you play hockey is is part of it is definitely part is gonna get that rep where they're like, just don't pull that over. Yeah. Hey, just not him. Because I would say the group that you don't want to fight, the most unexpected group would be martial artists, because you don't know their training,

and they could be great, and then followed by hockey players. Because hockey players look for it. They just go like, oh yeah, you want to fight? Yeah. Yeah. They pull out, somebody pull out. Grab your shirt. I don't want to fight anybody that already has teeth missing.

Yeah, where they have to remove part of themselves to fight you. If I was fighting a guy, he goes, let me take my ear off. I go, no, because I'm pretty sure fighting is how you lost that ear. Definitely how you lost that ear. And I don't wanna, one of my favorite,

if you're ever bored on the road, on YouTube, type in hockey player shit talking on YouTube. I'm doing it. It's so fun. Cause a lot, you know, it's just like guys skating by each other and they're like, you want to go? They're like, I'm going to drop. You ready to drop bud?

And then they're like at the face off and they're like, and then it's fucking great. Hockey fights are the shit. That's, this is the thing that's helping me get into hockey is watching these YouTube videos. I used to go watch the arrows play. Okay. We had a, a amateur team, the arrows. Yeah. I used to go watch the Arrows play. We had an amateur team, the Arrows.

I used to go watch them play. I mean, the Stars are good. Yeah, that's Dallas. Yeah, Houston doesn't have a team. Yeah, we used to have the Arrows. It was a little amateur team. Who else, how many hockey teams are in Texas? Is it just the Stars?

I think it's just the Stars. Yeah, it's just the Stars. Who were the, it's funny, because it's like, there's one of those sports teams that was named after where it was From because it was the Minnesota North Stars, which makes sense And then they just go to Dallas. It's like when they called the LA Lakers What the fuck are you talking about? I love that old-school lazy shit of like yeah We're moving them and we ain't even fucking changing it like that idea

They're like jazz in Utah, suck my dick. We're from New Orleans. Yeah, we're just bringing jazz with us. Like now they try, but back then when they would move a team, they go, we have all the jerseys printed. Who, like, what did they change their name to? New Orleans got a team, the Pelicans. The Pelicans. Because they were the Hornets. But then they change their name to? New Orleans got a team, the Pelicans. They're the Pelicans. Cause they were the Hornets. It was.

But then they gave it back to Charlotte when they made the Charlotte Hornets a whole new team. Like, why would you be called the Pelican? Is it because we slurp birds? It's the state fish. It's the state bird of Louisiana. But still, there's so many cooler things that have happened in Louisiana.

In Louisiana than the Pelicans. The Pelicans? It's like you might as well, it'd be like if New York called the team the Pigeons. You'd be like, well sure they're there. You don't have to fucking celebrate them. I always don't, when someone comes with like a lame name, Washington commanders blows. Just be the generals, the admirals. Be the commanders.

Be the oligarchs. Be whatever the fuck you want to be. But commanders stinks. It just sucks. And they, you know, my buddy is the coach of the Dolphins. And I always, yeah, I grew up with them. And I always tell them like, throwback because they got these they got you know this logo the dick going through the new ring and I'll always like dude the

logo sucks throwbacks I'm very aggressive about telling them to wear throwbacks and he's like dude we can't the owner spent something like three million on the logo and you're like give me a million I'll come up with a better logo than that. A cartoon dolphin with a helmet on, fucking rules in front of a son. This weird alien dolphin, you paid three million for that? We the Texans. I know, that was.

So lazy. That was lazy as fuck. The Houston Texans. And you guys had the Oilers. The Oilers. The Oilers. Which, I mean, listen, throwback gear. Yeah.

You guys are top three. Cold as hell. It's, oh my God, the Earl Campbell. Oh man. That 35, that light, that baby blue. Wasn't he 34? 34, yeah. I only know it because there's a video of Christopher cross who does like sailing

There's a live concert for him in the 70s and he's got a double-neck guitar and just rocking an Earl Campbell jersey Yeah, I mean Eddie George you guys had The oilers warm moon. Do you get mad when the Tennessee Titans wear those oilers jerseys? Those little bit. Cause you're like, what the fuck are you doing? I don't know. Yeah, your step mom's wearing your old mom's red ring. She's like, your mother used to wear this.

You're like, get out of that bitch, she's dead. Don't wear my fucking dead mother's shit. What the fuck? Your father says it looks real sexy when I wear your mom's stuff. You're like, I'll kill you, bitch. That would be horrible that you have your mom's wind ring. You raggedy bitch.

That's what the Titans are doing to you. They go, I like the way it looks. Fuck you. That's not yours. You better not fucking do that. You don't know about love you, blue. I hate you. Yeah, dude, you guys need to take that back.

The Texans is just, it was a miss on a name because it just sounds like they're talking about you guys I know it's supposed to be a reference to like the text. I don't know. What is it Dallas Texans? Yeah, San Antonio Texans way cold Texans Amarillo Texans. Oh It's all Texans. It's all justans. The state is Texans. Yeah, they should have done the rattlesnakes or something fucking cool. Remember we had the Gamblers. Yes, in the XFL.

Yeah. Yeah, you guys had the Houston Gamblers. By the way, cool fucking logo. Cool ass uniform. Yeah, you guys out of the XFL, you guys might have had. Ken Kelly. Yeah. Oh, bruh, the gamblers all blacked out.

Yeah. It was dope. XFL had the fucking, that was the best one. You guys in Memphis, the Maniacs, they had some wild fucking uniforms, but they were cool. That's what I would, I wish I could wear, you know, I would wear old school uniforms all the time, but then you end up looking like Kevin Smith and it looks all weird. Old white dudes in jerseys. You're like, what's going on, man? uniforms all the time. But then you end up looking like Kevin Smith and it looks all weird.

Old white dudes in jerseys. You're like, what's going on, man? I bet you got a terabyte of something that's going to put you in prison. It's like you got to just got, yo, you just got back from Korea. This is my Asian wife as I wear an old Grant Hill jersey. Old Grant Hill Pistons jersey. This is my Taiwanese bride. Yeah, just something looks off. I want a mail order bride. Oh my God. I think mail order bride would be,

it would wear off very quickly. Like put her right next to my real bride. And go. Like look, hey. Like quarterbacks, like a quarterback controversy Just letting you know you throw a couple pics Kid understand a lick she has but I got this app on my phone that tells me and she's ready She's ready to step up. I think my wife would take advantage of it. You know having a douche it

Oh my god, they become friends. We're mad at you for what? Olga brought up that year some Russian bitch is giving her dirt on me. You're looking too like this. And you go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Fucking. No, I said. I mean, there's no way if you, my question is, now that like Russia's popping off, all the guys that got mail order brides in like the 90s and early 2000s, are you at home going like, you a spy?

You know what I mean? Yo, okay, speaking of spies, remember the redhead, that guy called the gun? Yes. I swear on everything. Just type in redhead spy woman, New York City. She's definitely, but she lived in DC, right? That's what it was, it was DC, I was wrong.

She lived in DC. I'm doing a show in DC, at DC Improv, and it's hard for me to forget this tall redhead woman that wanted to take a picture and I was wearing a Carmen Sandiego hat and I was like yo when she got when she got arrested I was like yo I think this is the lady that was at my show yeah and as I looked at like this is the fucking lady that's insane and she was at my show in Washington, D.C. before she got arrested.

She's going back in briefing. She's like, I heard this bit tonight. You'll love it. It's about this man, Alisadeq, he was selling crack cocaine in Houston, Texas. And it has this story about his father leaving bucks. And they're like, all right, all right, all right, we need to send you more details.

No, no, no, I want to tell you the joke. The joke, I'm setting it up so you understand. It's your shit being told to like some fucking KGB. Man, and I'm like, yo. And when I saw it, I'm like, I hope they don't come question me about. Oh yeah, that's funny. I was like, they they don't come question me about oh, yeah, that's funny I like I told I entertained her. Yeah Club, I didn't know she was there. Yeah, that's like that mark. That's like that. Um, the mark

I think I have it around here. Where is it the Mark Jackson? NBA card where the Menendez brothers are in the back After they killed their parents they were just on the lamb and they went to a Knicks game court side and they use that picture as Mark Jackson's NBA card and just in the back you can just see them and Endez Brothers and you're like, that's crazy. Just forever.

We have that somewhere. Okay. I don't know, I gotta find it. It's fucking nuts. You think they getting off? Yeah. I think everyone's getting pardoned now. Yeah.

I think there's a chance Diddy goes free. I really think there's a chance. I really think there's a chance that fucking Trump just turns around and goes like, Yeah, he's free. And everyone's like, fuck. Yo, man, he just pardoned Larry Hoover. I know. He's pardoning everybody. He pardoned NBA Youngboy.

Yeah. Listen, he's also getting cred. He knows how to move. This guy knows how to move. Here's the one thing about politicians. They're all dorks, so they don't know how to move. This guy isn't a politician. So he comes in and he's like,

I don't know, what does the guy do? Fuck it, let Hoover out. You know what I mean? He's like NBA Youngboy? My friend likes you, come on out. It's the club. He's like coming out of the club being like, come on. I'm waiting for the real ball to drop. If he fucking pardons, what's my man, Charles Manson?

Honestly, can I tell you right now? Oh shit. I'm like, oh shit. I'm there for that. Trump is fucking he don't get. They better. They better like let him out, like out of a tunnel. Like open a thing and they go, ladies and gentlemen, the murderer. Yo, I can see this shit happening, man. He's fucking first off, he pardons Charles Manson, the shit is fucking

crazy. I'm kind of down for it. Then start getting real weird. Start letting out some people that you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't put him on the street. No, I put him right on the street. I made him mad too. I think the dude who did the chainsaw massacre is still alive. He's like, yo, I'm letting all the fucking villains out. Here's what I'm doing, I'm putting together a group of mass shooters, white guys that can't make eye contact. That's the new Delta Force.

He's just like, that's who we send into fucking countries. Just all these white guys that haven't gotten pussy that wanted to shoot up a mall, and then they're just like, you know the scene where they're always in the helicopter with the red light. It's just them, you know, this commenting on girls profiles What this is the real fucking odd squad? Yeah, that's what it is a team It's the real odds for the B team and they got the what's the movie when they got the shark, dude? Suicide squad, this is a real fucking Suicide Squad. I'm putting together a team of the best school shooters and peddals that this country's ever seen. Oh man.

I stopped touching kids years ago and he goes, I need you back. Just one more kid. I can't do it anymore. Yeah, that would be, just start making it real interesting. He goes, you know that cannibal? anymore I can't yeah that would be just start making it real interesting they go he goes you know that cannibal stories you know the Lexington cannibal I'm partying I'm letting them out Oh BTK yeah all of them then all is Ted Bundy still around no he's dead he died in jail I'm trying to think who else and Trump is like he asking hey what about Ted Bundy he's dead shit he's just

funny he's bored dipping shit. He's just, it's funny, he's bored. Dipping a fry in mustard, he goes, Kaczynski's still alive? Let him out. That's like that scene in Demolition Man. Do you remember that? Where Simon Phoenix has the thing and he's just like going through.

This Charles Manson shit scares me. I could see him fucking doing it. Charles Manson, here's the thing, he's too old and he's too crazy. He's like lost his mind. He's not like, anytime they bring him up now, check how close to death he is. He might be, there's a chance he dies

before we release this episode. Like that's how old he is. Like we could do this episode and then we go, remember when we talked about Charles Manson and then he fucking died? Like that's how close to death I think he is. 83. 83, but prison 83.

So that's 96 at least. They keep him completely like, like away from the general pop, right? I don't know. Oh, Manson's dead? Manson's dead? Damn. from the general pop right I don't know oh man since dead man since dead damn died November 19th 2017 he's been dead for eight years no shit sorry Chuck we're not gonna edit out that other podcast we didn't pay enough attention yeah hey man they keep showing interviews on like you still here.

Next thing you're telling me is that Lee Harvey Oswald still is dead. To say people that are obviously dead. Oh yeah, Timothy McVeigh is dead. Sure. Damn. Yeah, I don't know. They can't fit on the wraps. Don't tell anybody that Charles Manson died. He died in 2017? I don't feel

like I fucking remember that at all. I thought that would have been way more... Oh fuck. Okay. All right. Well, we don't have to worry about that. Well, rest easy. Charles Manson didn't get out of prison. Sure not. I feel better. Yeah. It would, I mean, sometimes that shit of like the pardon has to be, did you ever know a guy that got pardoned or got like released early because of evidence? Nope. Everybody just did their time and got out.

Yeah. That's fucking wild. How good does it feel to get out of prison? Well, I've been out for- No, but I mean that day, the day you go out. Oh man, amazing. Is it like? But it's very scary,

because you, depending on how long you've been in. Sure. You know, it's like, damn, now where do I go? Yeah. It's that, it's, oh, I'm happy to be out, but where do I go? Who picked you up? I rode the bus home.

Yeah. Did your family know you were getting out? Yeah. They just didn't want to. I was too far. Okay. I mean, I kind of would, I feel like that's where I'd get a little huffy.

Where I'd go, oh, too far. Yeah, it's just fucking getting out of jail. But fuck me, I guess. Yeah, it's too far. They give you a bus ticket home. They do? Yeah, the prison gives you a bus ticket home to wherever you're going.

Just some lady there is like, where are you going? And you're like, home, finally. Yeah. Is it just a regular bus? Is it just like? It's a Greyhound. Just a Greyhound? Yeah, like you're on there with regular people.

Just going home and they're like, sssss. And the door opens and everyone's like, and who are these guys? Who are we picking up? Everybody knows that you look like prison. Yeah. And I remember years ago when I used to ride the bus with my grandmother and they would,

guys would get on the Greyhound. I was like, he doesn't look like he's been here. Why is he looking around so much? He looks very, He keeps giving out big breaths and going, finally it's over. Yeah. I mean, was there, I mean giving out big breaths and going, finally it's over. Yeah. I mean, was there, I mean, that's gotta be,

so you know when you're on the road, I don't know if you have this experience like I do when I'm on the road, but sometimes you'll go on the road and then you'll like get some deep sleep and you'll wake up and be like, where the fuck am I? And then you have to do that thing where you're like. All the time. Yeah.

Did you have, how much did that happen when you got out? Oh, none. None. Oh, I was. So you wake up. I wake up, huh. I know exactly where the fuck I'm at, and it ain't prison. Went to bed comfortably, got up comfortably,

but on the road, because I get up sometimes and think that I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Oh, like wake up late for work? Or I'm not there yet. Yeah. Like I wake up, oh, I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Oh, like I'm late for work. I'm not. Oh, I'm not there yet. Yeah. I wake up. Oh, I'm supposed to be in there. I miss my flight. Yeah. And and then I leave out the room. Like I didn't got up and left out the room to the point where you're out of bed.

Close on with grab stuff. I just grabbed myself. I'm going to get dressed in the car and then got my bag. And then I'm in fucking hallway Then I gotta go down to the desk. I left my key. I didn't grab the you were leaving that thought go down Can I get a key to my room? I woke up scared Your shirts half on you like I woke up scared Please let me go back into my, yeah.

Especially when I first started doing the theater tours. Because it's a different thing. This fall, I'm doing my first theater tour. And I was just saying, we've done a couple runs, we've done like a couple, like three city things, and I'm not adjusted to it. I'm still used to clubs. I'm still used to clubs, I'm still used to get there Thursday.

You're comfortable there Friday, by Saturday it just feels like your house. You just come in your hotel room. Yeah, then Monday you leave. Yeah, and then you're just like, oh, I get it. You ever did a theater tour before? No, it's my first one this fall. I'm going to tell you this

This is when you're gonna the first time you're gonna ever actually feel like you own tour Cuz this shit is different. Yeah, and it's and Even The you're gonna be way more tired then No, like you on the road. Yeah. So, and you adjust to the length of the stage. It's two different.

I was thinking about that recently. It's two different. Totally two different. You do a great job of moving around. I've always noticed on your special, you'll just, and not in a way that looks obvious, but you're just like in one part, telling like part of the story over here and then the next part you're over here. I've always really admired when people

can move around on stage. You're ready to do anywhere from one to three miles. Of just walking? Just you gotta think of the length of the stage. You up there for an hour. You're moving back and forth. Cause there's no just being in the middle of the stage you up there for an hour Yeah, you're moving back for cuz it's no Just being in the middle because there's people over there Yeah, people over there and you have to back up something you had to go for it's a lot more work

Than what 20 feet on a stage. I mean comedy club you move even a little bit and they're like This is a performer. You'd rather. Oh my God, he moved five feet. This guy really takes advantage of the weight. Sound check, sound check. Yeah. You don't have to do a sound check in a comedy club. Yeah. You should, but it's not required.

Yeah, I was thinking about that when we were just on the road and I was here and I was like, I would have changed the mic a little bit. It was tinny and a little over-modulating. Yep. And I was like thinking about that. You gotta go through all that, your life and your... You really gotta like do a lot.

You know what else I gotta put together a playlist for the, while they're waiting. They were like, oh, you can put together like what songs you want while people are sitting. Yeah, we have a DJ for that. That's awesome. Just to entertain before we get out there. I'm doing a book on tape.

I'm just gonna have different chapters of books on tape. Chapter four. There you go. I'm gonna fall asleep waiting for this motherfucker's show. Yeah, and then the green room, the distance from the green room. What side you entering the stage. Yeah.

You know, it's a... I got to do a writer. You're supposed to do a writer with the club, but I got to do like an actual writer. An actual writer. Well, a show runner's gonna go get it. They were like, oh, I was like, I want this kind of seltzer and coffee or whatever.

And then I went in and I was like, oh, fuck, you guys actually, that's still where my brain's at, where I go, oh, you went and did it? And they were like, yeah. The guy this weekend was like, hey, I can't find a clock for the stage. And I was like, oh oh that's for the theater thing

Like they're sending it to the clubs because we're still in that middle space where I'm doing some clubs. That's it You have a who's doing your tour? Outback. Yeah, so you have a I got a tour I got it to we got a tour guy and he also I've been opening for Shane in a couple What's his name? Adam good long as y'all don't have my guy Shane in a couple. What's his name? Adam. Good, long as y'all don't have my guy, Jake.

Okay. My guy is the best. That's so funny. My guy is the best at fucking Outback. You start getting possessive of him because he's Shane's guy for the arenas, you know? Shane Gillis. Yeah, and then I did a couple arena gigs with Shane

and then he was like, oh, I'm here. And then we've been doing other gigs and I'm like, you going back to Shane going back to those giant arenas you greedy bitch Like start getting possessive about him. Yeah, man. Um Jake is our guy Yeah, they tell you all the people don't know what a tour manager does They basically give you all the information you're gonna need so that you could just go and do it They do up all the stuff where you're like, alright, here's your hotel. This is when you're getting picked up This is when sound check is this is when you're there. What do you need? They'll like get you stuff I got food poisoning in LA

About two months ago and I was doing the Balboa Theatre in San Diego Okay and I had to drive with food poisoning and in San Diego and I had to drive with food poisoning and drive LA to San Diego, do the show in San Diego, fly to San Francisco and do Palace of Fine Arts. It was four days of food, it would not leave. And the tour manager, he's like, what do you need? And I was like, dude, I just keep throwing up

Ritz crackers and ginger ale, just something to settle my stomach. Within 20 minutes, he had them. Okay, so let to settle my stomach. Within 20 minutes, he had them. Okay, so let me help you out. If you ever get food poisoning, and hopefully not, Yeah. Send someone to get you activative charcoal.

Someone was saying about, when I was Googling this, Yeah. Activative, what's it? Charcoal. Activative charcoal. Yeah. And it'll just. Yeah, doneative. What's it? Charcoal. Activative charcoal. Yeah. And it'll just. Yeah. Done. Food poison is gone. I've been had I had twice in the past six months. Activative charcoal. It's a new sponsor. Activative charcoal.

Don't don't shit and throw up at the same time anymore. Yeah. I'm telling this is just that simple. Now I'm telling I wish I would have known I had to cause you like somebody get them activated charcoal. Oh, I got off. I was there was times where I was on stage and I was about to throw up when I was in San Diego. And I think, yeah, that's crazy. I wouldn't drink. I just hold it to my mouth because I'd be like, oh, I'm trying not to puke. And I'd be like, anyways, what's up with dating?

It's the middle of a joke. Yeah, it's kind of weird. It was horrible. Then I got off stage and threw up. Four days when you could have went through that shit for three hours. I would have killed for that. I would have killed.

San Francisco, even the last night, I felt all right. Did the show at the Palace of Fine Arts, my favorite hamburger place is in San Francisco. I was like, I'm gonna go get a double cheeseburger, diarrhea all that night, because the food poisoning was like, I'm not gone. Not at all. Activative charcoal?

Activative charcoal. I'll just take it right out? Just boom boom, couple capsules and you're straight. What's the sickest you ever been on the road? Oh shit sick or injured Fuck what injury have you had on the road? I my clavicle I broke my clavicle and my ribs and strained my sternum. I was in Cabo surfing and had a terrible

accident and When I stayed in Cabo, I came back from Cabo, I did maybe four weekends before I had the surgery. And so then I had the surgery, and then I went on the road the next day. The day after getting your clavicle operated on? Yeah, tied. They had to set it in with the ribs?

They had to tie it down. And then they put a cadaver tendon over it, because I blew my tendon in my shoulder too. Yeah. The ribs, I remember when I was, I had like four cracks in my ribs. What the fuck happened to you? And the nurse, this is not a medical term,

she was like, I said, so what are y'all gonna do for my ribs? And she said, nothing. I said, that's not a medical, you're gonna do something, she said. What is nothing? She's like, I can't do nothing to your ribs, you have to let your ribs heal on your own.

And so I noticed some people in Utah that thought that somebody stabbed me because I was walking through that where I just got my bag off the thing and I'm rolling my bag with my good arm and I felt it. I had to sneeze. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And so I couldn't use

this arm that like got the sneeze and I was holding my bed I didn't get to my nose and when I sneeze I just fucking laid on the ground and it was people walking by like I'm coming to see you tonight You're like, that's so funny. You're like, thank you, thank you very much. Oh, fuck, four cracked ribs. Yeah. I mean, I've, thank God I've ever had it, but I've heard it's just the worst pain

because you can't do anything for it. It's coughing. What happened to you? You were surfing. I was surfing in Kabul. And this huge wave, I was getting out the water and this wave came and crashed. Now it's like poured eight thousand pounds of water on me and it's Drugged me along the the ground. Yeah, and so I had out like my shoulder was white

My I was all scratched up from the sand. Yeah, I got sand blasted Yeah, it but it did is it basically punched you and then it dragged you along the bottom. It's like I got sand blasted. Yeah, it basically punched you and then it just dragged you along the bottom of the dirt. Oh, it was crazy. I heard a lot of cracking and I thought I had broke my neck. It was that bad. Like that's how bad that wave hit you. But it was, my clavicle was in half and then my ribs was cracked. You don't realize how much you use your clavicle, you know, cause it's right here. I broke my shoulder in high school

and it was connected to this right here and it broke up and then through here. And you don't realize how much reaching for stuff, picking your arm, even up above, you get John McCain arms. You're like French, French. You can't go, this is the highest you can go. I don't wanna laugh, I don't wanna laugh at it.

I'm not doing it. You're like, you were tortured in a Hilton, in the Hilton. You're like, aw. I'm not laughing, I don't care what nobody say, I'm not laughing. Yeah, but dude, that, let me tell you right now, there's something that I love, I love nature. I just love the idea of nature and that the idea that humans think we have any control over it whatsoever, because the ocean goes like, nice surfing. How about I fuck up your year? And you're like, why ocean is like bored.

I don't know. Cause you, you know, like one wave took it personal that you rode another wave. It's like, oh yeah. Fuck you. I like that. It was bad. It's like, oh yeah, fuck you. I like that. It was bad, it was bad. I mean, so you have broken clavicle, four busted ribs, and then you have surgery, which you shouldn't get out of bed for three days, but you're just on the road.

So a lot of shows people saw me with this contraption in a pressure ball and one night man it was just I said I don't want to go out with this on. I just want to go out. Take my back brace off. And that shit lasted two minutes. That's so funny. Did you have to put it on

on and put it right back on. Bring me the contraption. That's so funny. Put me in my contraption again. Then you come back out and you go anyways Dayton's weird. That's all hooked up. Dude something that you you know as you still ascent I know you're gonna be at your peak when you have your own fused version of a chair and a stool. Because one of my favorite things is watching you just sit down and talk, and like how casual you do it on your specials, but I'm waiting for like you to have your own made, like privately made thing where they're gonna be like, where's the stool seat combo?

We need the stool seat combo. Like the stool seat combo that's what that's when you all he made it is when he had his own fucking Eric Abrams is like we couldn't do the new special because we can't find the chair stool. Eric thinks I'm a crazy man because you know I'm the executive producer of all the specials. It's very smart. So it's not a lot of things that bother me. You have to literally do something. So I walk in my green room, we in DC, and this is my green room. I walk in and it's urine in the toilet. What? And by the way, one of the reasons you can tell that usually it's because it's so yellow. Yeah.

So someone dehydrated. Yeah. Pissing in your toilet. And I don't think, Eric, can I have everybody to say, and I started off, I was trying to be calm about it. I said, yo, what nasty motherfucker was it? I couldn't even hold it. I said, and I'm like, the women that's working on this,

this has nothing to do with y'all. This is a man's thing. But how do you know? And like, a chick might've pissed, and then just let it, let the air dry that puss when she stood up. She stood up and shook them lips off. So that was the first, Eric was like, no one uses this toilet.

Yeah. And then the second time was we just recorded three specials in Detroit. Sure. And I'm coming through and the security was very aggressive. I had been there earlier, really nothing. This security guard was giving us the worst, like yo, I'm like yo, I know y'all. You, do you realize that I'm the fucking person that hired you? The reason you're at work today. Today.

Is cause of me. I'm not just the fucking talent, I'm the fucking, and I'm livid about this shit, cause I'm like yo, I didn't come here to get treated like a fucking prisoner in my own special. Were they just being extra shitty, asking too many questions, too many questions doing no, they was shaking us down that sucks and I'm and I'm pissed Eric didn't know this was happening the the the um, the people who run the theater was like no I didn't we didn't know this was happening. And then the worst thing is I'm walking to my green room and I saw

security people eating food. And I came back, I said, is this my craft services? And they was like, yeah. And y'all fucking eating my sh- Oh, then you seen a sign go up for staff, for- For performers only? Performers and staff only. And they was just sitting there hungry and shit.

I'm like, no, this happened because your fucking coworker decided to fucking shake me out now. So we shoot. You could have had all the hummus you wanted. But fucking Walter had to get handsy with me and my friends. It was a lady. And now, what's that? It was a lady.

Ah, yeah. And it was fucking weird. And the next day we came back and It was because I'm think I'm saying yo everybody that's coming through his knife and go through this shit Yeah, we're coming through the artists entrance. Yo, do you think? Man, you know, I was the I was it's just man the thought that it might be just some guy That was being a dickhead to his girlfriend And then she was security and she's like I gotta go hold on take that out of your pants

Why are you being and then you're like and then you just fuck it up. That's how it ripples. That's like a wave ripple It is it bothers and then and I and I've said and I usually don't say I'm not the fucking talent I'm the fucking boss. So let's get this understood. You think I'm fucking up, I'm coming here to blow up my own fucking performance. Like what type of debacle bullshit you think I'm on? It just bothers, sometimes it bothers.

I need more of that. I need to be able to walk in and go, I'm supposed to be here, because I always go like, sorry, I'm sorry, I can fuck off. You want me to wait out in the parking lot until I go to be able to walk in and go, I'm supposed to be here. Cause I always go like, sorry, I'm sorry. I can fuck off. You want me to wait out in the parking lot? How my brain works where I'm just like, yeah, I'm probably in the way. You guys, you guys are doing stuff. And then they're like, you're on and you're like,

I'll go do my, yeah. Only your name is on the, I know, but I'm still like, I feel like, uh, like they're through, you know, like I remember Batman boy. Remember when that sick kid, they dressed up as Batman and drove around San Francisco. I feel like Batman boy every time I'm at a theater. So we're like, ah, we're doing this for the sick kid. Maybe he can fucking perform tonight.

And I'm like, oh fuck, I'm sorry. I'm in the fucking way. If Outback is behind you, man, you- Yeah, they've been great. They fucking awesome. If Outback is behind you, man, you're doing it. Yeah, they've been great. They're fucking awesome. Yeah, they've been great. And it was, you know, I'm excited to, I like the hour right now, so it's like just fun

to be like, oh, I get to go do the coolest venues I've ever got to do with an hour that I like. Yeah. So it just timed out. Because the first time I was supposed to do a theater tour was March of 2020. Then stuff happened. But I didn't like my hour then. So I feel like the universe saved me.

Because I was about to go on a theater tour and I just didn't like. Because when you do, I mean, first off, as far as comics go, you're prolific. Like you have a new, John Brutten who I love to death who goes on the road with you John. Yeah, yeah Yeah, he's like he's like always got a new hour. Like I'll see him in Chicago. I'll be like always got a new hour and like You're just out here working at a pace where all of us were like I Got a new ten. I got a new ten. It's fucking kind of a when people say

Cuz my two sons just came out. Yeah. And that's mother's day. So father's day, I'm dropping rugged. Great. 2027, I might have something. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I fucking I don't know man. I'm fucking trying to get this one joke to work. I Yeah, so that's fucking great dude. I love that It's been awesome and you really are one of those comics that like I truly watch like Sometimes I'll put friends specials on and I'll get like 10 minutes in and I'll be like that was good, dude

I was fucking sitting here dying laughing story about I mean I'm not I don't want wanna give away too much shit. Check out My Two Sons on YouTube, the link is below. And then go watch everything else that Oli Sadeek's ever done. Cause he's fucking brilliant. He's hilarious. And I'm glad, is this the first repeat outside of Katie?

Yeah, you're the first repeat guest outside of my fiance. Oh man. Yeah. I'm in great company. Yeah. And we're not having kids either. And you can take that to the fucking bank.