Soder - 87: American Dried Meat with Steph Tolev | Soder Podcast | EP 85

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, always on the road. You know that the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour kicks off in September in Los Angeles. The West Coast dates are announced. Go to Dansoda.com and see if we're playing a theater by you. It's gonna be awesome. You know the hour is close to ready and I've been really having fun doing some shows with it. So come on out to the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour starting in September in Los Angeles at DanSoda.com. Still doing some clubs though, still keeping the knife sharp. I'm not just gonna take off time until that happens. So I'm on the road. June 20th and June 21st I will be at New York Comedy Club in Stamford Connecticut. Then in July August then in July July 18th and 19th I'm to be at the Funny Bone in Virginia Beach.

Starting point is 00:00:47 And then July 31st through August 2nd, I'm going to be at the Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine. So any of those dates, you know, it's East Coast, go to danceholder.com and get those tickets. It is fun. I will say I'm not political at all, but I will say it has been very fun watching like tin hat behavior become mainstream. Oh yeah. Like lunatics people that before the internet would have never been into like conspiracy theories. No, they don't. I remember before the internet being like bringing up like after the movie,

Starting point is 00:01:26 JFK came out, like just bringing up like the, the conspiracy theory that the government killed JFK and your family would be like, what's wrong with you? That's not real. Stop listening to that crazy shit. And now they go, well, my theory is now people just match theories. Oh, cause there's so much out there to read and like compare. And there is it is quite funny. Consumers market. My father has voted conservative for the last fucking 10 years.

Starting point is 00:01:53 And what did he do? He voted liberal. That's crazy. And they all hated Trudeau. Yeah, they hated it. It turned out it was Trudeau. Yeah, it turned out it was the hot rich kid. I can't believe I thought it was I voted for him because it's Dick and khakis. He's a hot guy. I was like he definitely had that like

Starting point is 00:02:10 well I didn't end up because we had independent parties. Sure. So we had like the party. How many do you guys have in Canada? I don't know three of those main liberal conservative NDP. Okay, new Democrat party wherever they were and they almost won this guy Jack late was what to win in the first time like 20 Years everyone fucking loved him. He was like the people's people. He was like so cool. Use your Bernie Sanders dies Dice and then his wife chow Olivia chow takes over no one liked her. She's a dumb bitch. She comes in she comes And we're like no you didn't and then no one vote over damn annoying I didn't realize that maybe I'm not in American politics, but I'm super into other people's.

Starting point is 00:02:46 I was like, you know more of me. I don't know any politics. I know nothing. I don't know. I like that. But that's what the internet does is it makes everyone have to have an opinion about everything. I try to steer clear of any kind of thing like that. Like of opinions? I respect that.

Starting point is 00:03:01 I did too. A lot of opinions. I respect the fuck out of that. You go, try to hit me. I'm water. I just don't want to get involved in all that. I respect the fuck out of that. You go, try to hit me, I'm water. I just don't want to get involved in all that. I don't believe in like- Like on stage and stuff. I'm like, I'm not doing that.

Starting point is 00:03:13 Yeah, when I was little, I remember my mom being like, the two things you never talk to people about are religion or politics. Like when I was like little, like life lessons. That's a good lesson. And my mom was like, don't ever bring up politics or religion to people you don't know. And I was like, great idea. Now that's all everyone does.

Starting point is 00:03:33 That's all everyone does all the time. That's how people start conversations now. They are like, who you vote for? It doesn't really like, I don't know. I thought it would affect me more and like my friends. I have, I think my boyfriend voted for Trump. He won't tell me that's a good, that's just a good point. I almost opened his ballot when he was no, I was so

Starting point is 00:03:53 close. Do not do that. I didn't do it. Yeah. I didn't do it. You would make him. No, you'd make that so bad. No, no, I would never do that. Well, first off, you'd make him xenophobic. No, immediately. He would be like fucking Canadians and he'd be like, you would make him xenophobic. No, immediately he would be like fucking Canadians. And he'd be like, you're a fucking piece of shit. That trust is gone. And you see he wrote in like Bernie Sanders. Yeah, he wrote it in his own blood.

Starting point is 00:04:13 I miss him. I miss my old Jewish people. And then he's religious and I'm not. How do you, is he in the business? Yeah, he's a comedian, musician, actor guy. Okay, and he's religious His whole family is like super born-again Christian is he yes, they pray we go home dinners. We all have to hold hands nice Which one do you do? Bless us all the Lord and these I guess that you're about to receive no they do is your own they make it up

Starting point is 00:04:40 They make the freestyle. Yeah, Jesus. Give me this all this. All the harmonize. That would be I mean, I'd be in religion is black religion I get because they're always dancing and having fun. Oh, yeah. You know, and then white religion, they're just like, well, those scary church shows, those big fucking churches, we want those are nuts.

Starting point is 00:05:11 So one of my favorite things to do when Katie and I get high and we're home on the weekend and it's like Saturday afternoon, Verizon cable has like files, has like a ton of channels. Look into it. Are you sponsored by the Verizon bias? Pie pieces of shit just got us a new fucking table box because it was locking up. But there's religious stations. So we'll watch like the Jewish channel. Newsflash they're weighing on Israel. You're just like watching this and you're like, it'll be like, Jesus saves and it'll be like,

Starting point is 00:05:41 why Israel is right. And then you're like, Jewish channel. But then we'll watch like Jim Baker. Do you remember like you know who Tammy Faye Baker was? No, we didn't have this these things in Canada. Yeah, this is great This is a piece of Americana that I love sharing with you, which is like these like preachers Right, they they get like so far away from the actual message of Christianity. They're just like, give me money and God will like you. But Jim Baker is just this old, old dude. And

Starting point is 00:06:13 he just sits there going like, Jesus loves me. And everything's going to be fine. And then he has people that come on and go like, how blessed are we? How blessed? But they push this product that I'm obsessed with. It's called grid down chow down. I gotta look it up. No, no, no, I didn't even know what this is. I'm gonna show you it to you.

Starting point is 00:06:34 Grid down chow down. And they're trying to add this is religious somehow. No, but they sell it on the religious channel. But it's dried meat. Hey, I love jerky. But not that fun. Now imagine the fun of love, but ruined by religion. And that's what grid down chow down is like. So there's no, it's not jerky.

Starting point is 00:06:51 What is it? Chicken pieces? Here it is. Like dog treats. Grid down chow. Oh, that's, it's a cow with the American flag. 12 servings of freeze dried raw ground beef straight to your door. Ew. And then you just pour water in it. Oh my god, no, that is not jerky. Oh my god, that's so

Starting point is 00:07:14 disgusting. It's like a hamburger meat that you just like dried and then you pour water on it and mix it up and then they got old Jimmy B selling this by the pound. He must be buying that. People are buying that? Oh, I bet, I bet. Oh my God. Grandma's, dude, classic chili. All the stuff you can make with it.

Starting point is 00:07:32 And they have recipes for you. We forget to thaw our meat for taco night. Luckily I had this on hand. It was ready in minutes and so easy. Don't put that in my body. No, no. However you're free, don't put that in my body. No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:07:44 I don't fucking- Can you imagine where someone's house for dinner and they're like, oh shit, I forgot to de-thaw the meat again. And then you hear clumps of beef getting a bowl. What does that bag say? And she goes, great downtown town. You're feeding me apocalypse meat?

Starting point is 00:07:55 That's worse than apocalypse meat. I'd rather have like an old beat can that was all like rotted from like 1902 than that. I would rather with my rifle, you know, coming off the plains, this is the apocalypse. Okay. And I take my mask to breathe the poison air. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:13 And I go, and I come into a gas station. I'd rather eat a can of spam that I found than a bag of grid down chow down. And it just looks like raw beef Doritos. I kind of want to buy it for someone as a joke now. I almost feel like I should order it. And when you come back, we need to do a cooking show. Your diarrhea would be unmatched with that.

Starting point is 00:08:35 And listen, I've had every shade of the rainbow as diarrhea goes. Also as on the road, I have a hemorrhoid. I got one this morning and I'm absolutely pissed. Do you have a travel squatty potty? No, I saw your squatty potty in there. I find those perverted. Why?

Starting point is 00:08:49 I find it perverse. I don't, I wouldn't even need- It's not stirrups. I don't need my knees in my eyes when taking a fucking shit. Yeah, you do. I don't. Because you need to straighten your colon.

Starting point is 00:08:56 Maybe you wouldn't have that hemorrhoid because you're pushing. I'm not pushing. So first off, you walked right into my argument. Hey, I'm not pushing. You can get hemorrhoids from stress. You think you're not pushing. You think you're not pushing.

Starting point is 00:09:05 I think I know if I'm pushing it on my shin or not. You got that bubble butt. You got that little butt bubble. Cause you're pushing. Cause guess what? Hey, it's slipping out. I had a horrific drinking problem and my hemorrhoids were raging.

Starting point is 00:09:17 And then ever since the squatty potty revolution, thanks to Howard Stern. Okay, you still drinking? What's that? You still drinking? No, I quit drinking 12 years ago. Well then maybe that's what it is. That's too easy of a solution. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:09:27 That's what it is. It's the acidity in the alcohol, it's the constant diarrhea. That's what it is. I mean, I was shitting mulch. My shit was rough. Hey, you should spread that around New York so dogs can take a piss and shit somewhere. I don't know where your dog's pissing shit in the city.

Starting point is 00:09:40 There's enough human beings spreading mulch in New York City. There's no mulch anywhere. There's no mulch, there's no grass. I walk Myrtle down over there, right? And there was this taco place that's closed. But one morning we were walking and just human diarrhea. Clearly a pile of human diarrhea in this doorway.

Starting point is 00:09:57 And I'm like, that's diarrhea. And Myrtle's like, let me smell that. My dog loves human shit. And I know it's human shit because I'll hike up Griffith and there'll be a piece of toilet paper beside it. And I know it's human shit. So I'll hike up Griffith and there'll be a piece of toilet paper beside it. I know there's no fucking coyote up there wiping his ass. Yeah. Coyote's like, please. The hemorrhoids back. Yeah, I feel like your dog is very

Starting point is 00:10:18 lucky because living in New York, I feel constantly bad for me. Yes. I main reason I never wanted to every time I come to New York, I'm like, why do I live here? Because I live in LA and it's hell. But I'm here. I'm like, I can't have a golden retriever. Where is she going to win? She was in this building. And I feel horrible for him because I grew up with a golden retriever. Oh, yeah, Montana was a good boy. What kind of golden red golden red golden

Starting point is 00:10:40 105 pounds. Oh, fuck. That's a big dog. Susan's 80 and is pushing it. She's been told she's obese. We loved giving Montana treats. It's so hard not to hit that stupid face and then the whites in the eyes show up. And the eyebrow, their eyebrows. She's got killer eyebrows. But yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:58 Her eyebrows are crazy. She's this size. She's like 45 pounds. Okay. But she's like the perfect apartment size. I still, we used to live in New Jersey and there was a better dog park. So you got a runner around Yeah, so I do feel bad, but I try to take her on very long walks and in the summer She doesn't want to go on long. How does hell and it's like that stinks out there fucking sidewalk

Starting point is 00:11:19 Upstairs like a pee pad. They don't let the dogs up there. There's one lower. There's on a level, but it's just piss. It's just like a sponge. Have you gone into the, have you ever traveled with her at an airport? Have you gotten those? No. I, she couldn't handle a plane. Piss.

Starting point is 00:11:33 I always see them with the little fire hydrant in there. Oh yeah. They had no need for that. Oh, so we don't get a smoking section, but we get a fucking room of hot piss. It's burning piss. It's bad. People need to go back to not being able to bring their dogs. No. Yeah, I

Starting point is 00:11:47 think people who have poorly trained dogs should not be allowed to have their dogs on the plane. They should have to go through a course. They should. My dog goes to play with me. Sometimes. That's great. In her service vest. How great is it to go on the road with a dog? I hear you know, we go through TSA, I take off her harness and her leash. She fucking waits on the other side. I go like this, I go come the whole TSA is like this. losing their fucking minds. That's a

Starting point is 00:12:10 human in a suit. It's crazy comes over sits right beside me and they have to test my hands and my little kid. Nothing. It's unbelievable. Myrtle could never I'd be like, where's Myrtle and she'd be just down by a Hudson News. You're like, taking a shit outside the Hudson News. she'd be just down by a Hudson News. You're like. Taking a shit outside the Hudson News. She's just smelling.

Starting point is 00:12:25 You go, Myrtle, get back here. She's like, huh? Yeah, dude, if I don't have a leash, that dog. She doesn't listen to me normally, but the airport is like a different fucking dog. She's like, she knows. She's got her formal brain on. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:37 But she doesn't, also like having a dog with a human name, they don't answer. Yeah. Like if I was like, Bruno, there's no answer. Susan never answers me. And they look psycho. I'll try talking to her, I'll go, Myrtle. And she's like, not looking at me. Yeah. Like if I was like Bruno, like there's no answer. Susan never answers me and then looks psycho. I'll try talking to her, I'll go Myrtle. And she's like, no, what can I do? I go Myrtle.

Starting point is 00:12:49 She's like, what? And you're like, I need attention. I need attention too. It's not just dogs. I laugh harder at my dog than I do majority comedians. Yeah. My dog's timing is better than some comedians. It's insane.

Starting point is 00:13:03 The way she sighs when I say stuff and she go, and you're like, I'm sorry, am I bothering you? She'll be like, sometimes we'll be like, I love you Myrtle and she'll be like, put her head on the armchair and be like, fuck you, you got me. Canada to LA is, was that the direct route? Oh yeah, and that's a bizarre route.

Starting point is 00:13:25 All my friends are here. All my, I'm best friends with Alex Pavone. All my friends are here. Alex Pavone rules. He's psychotic. Yeah. All my friends are here. Graham, Pat Bercher, I went- Pat Bercher's so goddamn funny.

Starting point is 00:13:36 Pat Bercher's so funny. They're all funny. All the Canadians are funny. There's a couple that aren't. I love Canadians. Ah. I love Canadians. Name names. I love Canadians because you guys get this unfair rap. Like people give you this like,

Starting point is 00:13:51 misconceived notion that you're just like polite and kind of pushovers. And then when you read any historic historical stuff about wars specifically, it's the Canadians that always go too far. It was like World War I and World War II. Like there were people that were afraid of specifically the Canadians.

Starting point is 00:14:10 Because they're like, you guys are nuts. Because you guys like leave that fucking friendship behind and you're like, they're great north. You guys are north of the wall. You're fucking. Well, also I don't know where that came from. Most Canadians you meet were like, were kind of rude. Well, you guys do the, you do what people in the Midwest do in the United States,

Starting point is 00:14:27 which is you present polite and then it quickly evaporates. I'd say all the Canadians here are irritable and we're always, Nate, Yeah. Nathan, Macintosh, he's always pissed. You wouldn't guess he's Canadian. Oh my God. He's saying it all the time, he's psychotic. You would think he was a Jewish New Yorker.

Starting point is 00:14:43 He's crazy. The way that he's like, what is this? And you're like, I'm sorry. Sorry. Is that with your boyfriend being religious and American, what is he, is that like a weird thing? No, I thought it was going to be. I actually like it.

Starting point is 00:14:56 Cause when we first started dating, I'm like, I'm an atheist. He's like, no, you're not. I go, well, yeah, I am. He's like, what's that mean? I'm like, I don't believe in anything. Has his family accepted that? They have come around.

Starting point is 00:15:06 I've I I'm like trying, I hold hands. You hold it. I keep my eyes open. So when an atheist see how weird it is, I'm in between, I'm in between. I'm an agnostic. Okay. I believe that there's something, but we just don't know what I mean. I guess I believe there's something I believe in.

Starting point is 00:15:20 Don't believe in like the whole God that all that. I don't believe in manmade religion. No, no, I don't believe in make me whole God, that all that. I don't believe in manmade religion. No, no, I don't believe in. Which might make me sound stupid. I am stupid, so you're not proving a point. But I'm always amazed with, I always respect religious people's faith, because they just fucking believe.

Starting point is 00:15:40 They do, and it helps them. It's kind of nice. It is, it is very nice. And I think we spent like a lot of the nineties, two thousands and the teens really shitting on religion. And then people like we were talking about my boy, Jim Baker. Shout out, shout out, grid down, shout out. You're going to be sponsored by this in a week.

Starting point is 00:15:58 I would. Oh, I would welcome them with open arms. Then I would heavily criticize the product. I would, this wouldn't be like, Mando, try Mando. I rub it all over my body. No, hey guys, it's time for me to talk to you about seasonal clothing. I know this is your favorite part of the podcast where you go, what's Soda gonna say

Starting point is 00:16:21 about some seasonal clothing? Well, I'm gonna tell you Mac Weldon's good. They got some breathable stuff so your legs aren't all sweaty and swampy. Your balls all mish-mashed and gross. Feel like you have some sort of weird casserole in your pants. Mac Weldon, they got everything you need to stay cool. Comfort and a little stylish too, right? We're gonna throw on some of those tech linen that like combine the easy charm of classic linen with cool Max technology, you know that I'm a sucker for linen.

Starting point is 00:16:51 So anytime they even say they have a little bit of linen, I'm like, let me get a lot of that linen, a lot of linen. I'd be draped in it. I'd be lousy in it if I could. But we're talking about Mack Weldon pieces because they got some great tech linen items Which is like linen, but it's not fragile. So it's breathable You know what? I mean, you want clothes that are designed to fit your style and the demands of modern life

Starting point is 00:17:18 So give your closet a breath of fresh air for spring and summer by going to MackWeldon.com and get 25% off your first order of $125 or more with the promo code Dan. Just as simple Dan as a promo code. That's M-A-C-K-W-E-L-D-O-N.com promo code Dan. Hey guys, you know the saying cash is king. It might not be the most accurate statement. Why do I say that? Because if you ever had to pay a friend real quick and you don't have money on you, it's like what are you going to go the ATM? Hey, can you hold right here?

Starting point is 00:17:59 What is this 1992? Dude, get cash app. Cash app is the easiest way to spend money, give money, all easily from the convenience of your phone. Make money moves, baby. That's what they wanted me to say. And I was like, no. You can send money. It feels safe. If they see something sketchy or they see sending money to like a potential scammer, they're going to warn you and make you think twice. You know, you can even spice up your payments with custom text stamps and backgrounds.

Starting point is 00:18:30 Oh, well that's fun. For whatever insane reason you don't have Cash App, just download it from your phone's app store, sign up, enter our code SOTER10 in your profile, send five bucks to a friend and you'll get ten bucks. That's pretty sick. Honestly, that's how they won me over they were like can you get cash app and I was like I don't know and then like we'll give you fans five bucks and I was like do you know I'm on hooking people up with five bucks so for a limited time only now new cash app users can use our exclusive code to earn some

Starting point is 00:19:01 additional cash just download cash app Cash App, sign up, use our code SOTR10 in your profile, then send five bucks to a friend within 14 days, and boom, you're getting $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply, that's money, that's Cash App. Whistle Kitty pool in here, a little doggy kitty pool, just fill it up with the meats.

Starting point is 00:19:24 You don't think Myrtle would be fucking on the wall? Oh Myrtle would be fucking schlopping back at me. She'd be watching like and then just pissing out of her asshole. All over the elevator? I'd just be holding her like a water balloon just squeezing her. She's like sssssss. So if Grid Down Chow Down wants to sponsor this podcast. It does sound like it's something that like a redneck would have made out.

Starting point is 00:19:44 Grid Down Chow Down like pull up the fucking trailer park and suck it back. It does. It sounds like eating pussy in a truck bed. Actually that's kind of what it probably looks and tastes like grid down. That's what mine looks like after the water has hit. He goes, give it five minutes. Put your tongue to it and it D thaws. You ever ate pussy after a girl bowls 20 frames? And you go, grit down, chow down.

Starting point is 00:20:08 Grit down, chow down. Let me do the little... Steve Reich. Let me do the little blurb on the side. It's like sucking sweaty jean pussy. And they go... Have you done that? That's a very specific reference.

Starting point is 00:20:19 Holy hell. I've never heard that word. I just like the words, how the words work. No, no, no. You've had some hot jean puss. Just some clammy clam. Some clammy clam. That was me yesterday. I was wearing jeans. It was too hot.

Starting point is 00:20:31 You can't do that. Walking around, puss was all taut up all day. I mean, you guys have, we have it. We need to air it out. Ours can get gross and clammy, but ours also is on the outside. Yeah. So I feel like it airs out quicker. Yes, absolutely.

Starting point is 00:20:43 Yeah, you need to really. It's like wearing, it's like wearing like a lighter fabric in the summer. Yeah yeah yeah. We need cotton. I've got cotton on right now. You got to really my mom always said you gotta let it air out. You gotta let it breathe. Yeah that's all you gotta do and that's what the penis is. The penis catches a little bit of a wave of wind and you go I'm airing out. Yeah we can wear the shorts the basketball right in, right on the other side. And she has, I feel bad for Katie, because sometimes I'll just be at home and I'll be in shorts

Starting point is 00:21:10 and just start knocking around, just to, and she'll be like, knocking around? You know, like itching. Oh, I thought you were just like, just jerking off. Oh no, I'm not a circus champ. I was like, what do you mean knocking around? I go, Steph, I should tell you, I aggressively masturbate in front of my,

Starting point is 00:21:23 That's why Myrtle was in the crate when I got in here. You're like, ah. And she's like, leave it alone. But back to... She's like looking at vacuums and you're like, ugh. And I'm like, ah, knocking it around. Back to grid down chow down. Back to grid down chow down.

Starting point is 00:21:36 No, but I feel like religious people, like the regular religious people took such a criticism in beating in general, almost like popular culture. It was like really, like the atheists kind of took over in their kind of life. Well, cause I think the 90s, the grunge era, that whole era was like, fuck God, we're religious. Rage against the machine, oh, you're listening

Starting point is 00:22:01 to these old fucking ways. And people kind of were like younger generations as they got older, they're like, oh yeah, I'm not religious. So that's why it's kind of cute to me when people are religious. I love it. I go. I'm also like, oh, he can't cheat on me

Starting point is 00:22:13 because the Lord says it's bad. There you go. I can tell myself that. Give me something in my head. But then I think all these other preachers like Joel Osteen and them found this like empty vacuum of people and they're like, oh, just tell them they're gonna do well

Starting point is 00:22:28 if they give me money. And then that's our preachers now with their cat teeth. It's creepy. I'd like to go to one one time though and like pretend to go up there and be saved. I think I'd really sell it. I just do it. Well, number one, you think you're gonna get

Starting point is 00:22:43 fucking front row seats? You better believe it. believe a Joel Osteen how much of those I don't know I probably covered a grid down chow down. I glued them to myself. I won't just covered in your second down You're up for me in the holy water Jim Baker I've been waiting my whole life to meet you goes will anybody that eats grid down chow down is a fan of mine They should have to eat it on the show. Yeah, yeah, yes, they should. You go, you promote it, eat it. Eat it now. Now all the comments are gonna be like, well then where are your sponsors?

Starting point is 00:23:09 And maybe I am wearing the perfect jean. I wonder if they get the pressure, like podcasts get the pressure where they go, have you ate the grid down, chow down? He goes, ah. Hard to get down. It's, yeah. Why? It's not called keep down.

Starting point is 00:23:25 It's called chow down down Chow down and then Chow up I want to try I'm gonna buy it cuz my boyfriend loves jerky. That's why I thought jerky right away. Yeah, I Will also it's like if you love America Yeah, I like any product that also goes and also if you love America, I like any product that also goes, and also if you love America, like, oh yeah, that'll get me to eat bad meat. That will get, yeah. Just going like America.

Starting point is 00:23:51 That's the one thing I do love about this country is you can just slap patriotism on anything. People, it is, I just applied for my citizenship. Speaking of America, I'm terrified that Trump, Trump is going to take away my green card because he's been stopping people at the border If you become our 51st state hahahaha It's my favorite thing to say to any Canadian

Starting point is 00:24:11 It's so crazy I go, hey, hey Canadian, get in, the water's warm As if, that's all we have Yeah Is being Canadian Yeah There's nothing else about us, we don't really have a big war You're like World War II, what do we do? I didn't know, you're saying

Starting point is 00:24:24 You guys helped out World War One, World War Two guys helped out the Iraq war you helped out in all of our wars Vietnam stuff but we want to be our own fucking place. Well, can I push back on this a little bit? You guys put the queen on your money. That was getting weird. That queen stuff was weird. They're really obsessed with them. I don't know what that is. Yeah. So you guys are talking about both sides of your mouth. You don't want to become our 51st state because we're neighbors. We're right here. But you're over here throwing King Charles on your

Starting point is 00:24:52 money. I was that new because I knew the Queen we had for a while. I was up in Winnipeg. Lovely city, especially in the winter. It is the worst city on the planet. It is wild. I got COVID and stuck there. No, that's hell. The club's fine. You do rumors. Rumors is great. Rumors is a hell of a- Oh, last time I was there, well, a couple times ago,

Starting point is 00:25:13 I stayed in the condo and I may have got a little drunk and I may have fucked a guy in the shower and I may have broke the shower curtain and I may have had to pay for it. I'm like, it was 40 bucks. Just pay for it. Yeah, but that's also,

Starting point is 00:25:23 what a fun old school, that's like an old school comedy story. Oh yeah, like, it was 40 bucks. Just pay for it. Yeah, but that's also what a fun old school. That's like an old school comedy story. Oh, yeah. No, I'm in the I'm in the condo in Winnipeg. It's three in the morning. I bring this broad home. I got him. I got him. But the nuts and we're going nuts. I'm gonna show you the picture. I think I can find it when I got COVID. I had to stay in this hotel, obviously in a Winnipeg. The one that puts you up at that one way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to Tyler. The yeah, that's great. He's great. He went and got me like, um, stuff edibles and tests.

Starting point is 00:25:58 Okay. So I just ate edibles and tested myself constantly so I could get home. You stuck there four and a half days. Okay were you stuck there? Four and a half days. Okay, I thought you said four and a half weeks and I was gonna call the Canadian Army. Dude, I would love. The Mounties coming strapping you back of a horse. Well, he stuck me in. They drove me through Fargo.

Starting point is 00:26:15 Did they really? Yeah. Because they were testing at the airports, but they weren't testing at the border. So when you drove across the border, they were like, all right, welcome back. And you're like, and then you're like, I definitely have COVID,

Starting point is 00:26:30 but I kept threatening Tyler that I was, oh, I'm going to find it. I'm right here. Yep, here it is. That was the picture out my hotel room in Winnipeg. That's Winnipeg. It desolate death. I'm sending it to you so you can put it in.

Starting point is 00:26:43 It's literally. We'll show you right now on the episode. Winnipeg, that's whatolate death. I'm sending it to you so you can put it in. It's literally- We'll show you right now on the episode. Winnipeg, that's what it looks like all year round though. There's never, if you're thinking of going to Canada, Vancouver, Montreal, Toronto in the summer, don't be doing, do you know that Toronto has a nude beach? A nude beach? Yeah, on the island.

Starting point is 00:26:58 You know what's, you know what the thing about nude beaches is? You never wanna see the people that are naked. Yeah, it's always the people that are- It's always the gay man with a really tiny Shrinks which in that point you're almost like good for you yes there but they're so smug walk around a little thing a little pigtail oh have you ever seen a micro a micro penis yeah have you ever been hooking up with a guy that oh

Starting point is 00:27:19 yeah it was did he warn you no we kept making out and I kept being like okay and I kept like you know I'm a pervert. So I'm like, let me draw something off. You're like, I need it. I need it. I need I'm coming. Don't say that. So I kept like too much. I kept trying to muck. So it's like third time now. I'm like, okay, this is like, we're in the bed. He kept pushing me. He goes, no, it's okay. And then I remember, I remember that I have a night and I have curtains and the

Starting point is 00:27:44 neighbor's light was shining in up to one like slit of the blinds. And I peeked I went like smaller tip tip tip of the pink pink tip. Nice. Was he a nice guy? No, he wasn't that nice. And he wasn't very funny. And you you gotta be you are you have to be did you see why do you think I got so funny? You gotta be you. I mean, you have to be. Did you see? Why do you think I got so funny? Never talked about him. I got fucking chowed out. Mow down. You fucking you piss like a squirt gun

Starting point is 00:28:26 Pissing and I don't feel comfortable That's why I have a pump it out to get it going. You're making that noise. I go Steph's pissing and I don't feel comfortable with it. That's why I have a hemorrhoid. I'm forcing on my piss. But then your shit comes out like ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Okay. So Steph's a piece, a piece of the history from the staff or very thin, hot though. Hot. But I remember seeing it and being like, Ooh, that's how did you conclude that I, well, I saw it and I was like, I'm honest. I mean, conclude that I didn't know. Did you, did you give it away that you did? Did he know that you saw it? Yes. Cause then he was like, we

Starting point is 00:29:02 were talking about having sex and I go, okay, well, I need you to wear a condom. This is before I saw it, but can you put a condom on? He goes, I can't. And I go, well, I'm not having sex with you because I don't know where you've been. Well, that was nowhere. I found out that, so this is the, it went in,

Starting point is 00:29:17 he put it in and I felt bad. So I pretended, I went. There's no way. I couldn't feel a damn thing. Did he? But he didn't believe it, it did he I think I'm pretty good at acting But I would just have the empirical evidence in front of me No, no, no micro penis. Yes, and that I don't think that would make that would make a woman make that noise I don't I know there's no way but had to, what am I supposed to go?

Starting point is 00:29:46 Where is it? I can't go like, I do. I do you dog sniffing, sniffing for it. But I mean, it went in for a little bit of time and I guess came out. I don't, I actually don't know medically what happened down there. I'm not sure. As we're talking about this. Your rock hard. I'm a miniature penophile. I'm a micro-penophile.

Starting point is 00:30:14 I go, you know what really drives me wild? Dudes with the tiniest dicks. I think if I were in prison and I found out my cellmate had a micro-penis. You'd be gay? It'd be much easier. They go, what did they do? They fucking you in the other.

Starting point is 00:30:27 You go, yeah, but did he? Yeah, he's, I don't know. He's giving me that ass. I go, oh no, oh no. I go, this guy kicked the shit out of anyone in the yard that looks at me wrong. All I gotta do is take a micro penis pounding. I go, oh, do we?

Starting point is 00:30:43 And they go, hey man, you that gay guy. I go, hey, hey, man, you that gay guy. I go, hey, he's got a micro dick. And then I blow it all up. And then it was like, I want to know he's my man. I go get your hands off my man. I gotta suck his little micropenis. I don't even know if you could suck it. It'd be that small. What would it what would now let's conceive what would the idea what would a blowjob of a micropenis look like? Do you just do you know that around like a cat? No, salt like like idea, what would a blow job of a micro penis look like? Do you just, do you knock it around like a cat? No, I think like a salt lick.

Starting point is 00:31:07 Like you know what, like a deer is like, mm. Dude, I wonder how, I want, now here, I'm, I'm scaling this out for size, but I'm wondering, with my average penis size, a giant tongue licking it, would I be like, oh! Like for them, it's like, amazing. Oh, for them like you go like, do a micro penis. He's like,

Starting point is 00:31:34 I don't even know how you would even like jerk it off. Really? Like all of it like seems like you might be more rubbing. Yes. I'm having more friction. Yeah. It has to be like, you have to cause I don't know. I don't know. I'm sound off in the comments. No, I'm not saying this to be, make fun to because I don't know I don't I'm I sound off in the comments No, I'm not saying this to be make fun. I know you feel really bad for them I want to know the physics of I want I found out though that you can You can I know one guy who has one who had baby. I don't still think you'd they should come Yeah, but I know that's a long way for it to get in there. That's like a fucking half-court shot. Yeah, that's And at half court he's gonna try to make a baby with his micro penis.

Starting point is 00:32:09 I swear it's in there. I think she walked in with the test and she goes, you got me. So floored. I can't believe it. You. I actually can't believe it. I don't know if they did like maybe they did an egg thing in the thing. I imagine having a micro penis and then you have a baby and you're instantly jealous of the baby's dick size.

Starting point is 00:32:28 That might come out and you go. Really didn't get that from me. Oh, well looks like you got it from your big dick mom Your fucking hung mother Hung mother has to be the name of the episode hung mother from your hung mother I literally keep thinking about. That's a good name for an album. Hung mother. Of licking a micro penis is gotta feel incredible.

Starting point is 00:32:52 It must be the easiest blow job to give to like, cause otherwise I'm down there and I'm trying. I suck hard cause my boyfriend's hot and I don't want to lose him. Nice. So I suck so hard today I got a crick in my neck and I had to put an icy hot patch on. Damn dude, you're like taped up. Oh, I'm taped you have that tape that they put on shoulders huffing that dog

Starting point is 00:33:08 He goes you're really in there today, but you have a micro piece you were stuck with micro penis you like this That are thinking about this imagine your penis but a giant tongue just licking just Open down like a dry tongue kind of so it was a bit of friction Oh, yeah, like a cat a little like they need they haven't watered a couple hours the taste buds do have friction. Yeah Have a light ahead a giant tongue and then there's all these you know what that's what you need to create a dating app that pairs Fat-tongued women with tiny, thick men. There it is. Simple stuff.

Starting point is 00:33:49 Have you seen a fat-tongued woman? I don't know what these fat tongues are. I believe they're mostly called mentally retarded, but I think you've got it. Yeah, like, there's like a lady that's like. Kind of stuck out, yeah. They do have big tongues. Did you watch Love on the Spectrum? No, Love on on the spectrum. It's so sweet. It's so sweet.

Starting point is 00:34:08 It's so sweet that I'm just like, uh, it's too much for you. I just am like, no, it's so nice. I want to volunteer. Yeah. I was, after we watched it, my boyfriend keeps saying we should do love on the staff drum because he thinks I'm, I'm unwell. He really, he thinks you're close to it? He thinks I'm something's going on. Do you think that was the excuse he told his family when you first started criticizing their prayers? Yeah, like, she's stupid. He goes, hey, hey, hey, she's...

Starting point is 00:34:31 You've seen this show, Love on the Spectrum? Yeah, he goes, that's what I'm talking about. That's how I met her. Yeah, and they go, oh, oh, she's... There's always these moments where, you know what it is, is like, these moments on Love on the Spectrum, it's like genuine feelings in a way that's like,

Starting point is 00:34:49 I think every reality show you question their. How, if there's what they're doing it for, if they want to fucking follow us. Yeah, these people are like, and they're, they get so. He goes, hi, Abby. And they go, hi. He goes. The excitement, when she comes to the corner,

Starting point is 00:35:00 his eyes are like. He's like, you look. Like so happy. He's like, you look beautiful. And you're like, I've. And then if it doesn't work, they're like, bye, thank you. I don't like, so happy. You look beautiful. And you're like, I've. And then if it doesn't work, they're like, bye, thank you. I don't like you as that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:10 We're friends. Instead of trashing a restaurant and being like, you could have never had me. Matter of fact, you stupid slut. I fucking didn't even like you. They're like, I think your shoes are beautiful. And you're like, yes. Yeah, they would never come at my nose.

Starting point is 00:35:23 They'd be like, your eyes are pretty and your nose is small. I'd be like, is it?, they would never come at my nose. They'd be like, your eyes are pretty and your nose is small. I'd be like, is it? Oh, you go, what you got down there? I would, I think I one time fooled around with a guy. I didn't realize till we met up again that he wasn't all there. Really?

Starting point is 00:35:38 We did a lot of cocaine. Oh, can mentally retarded people do cocaine? Well, yeah. Does it make them normal? I just speed them up to where they're like, he's like, I said, I would never do that again. Anyways. Um, so where'd you go to underground? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:56 Ecology major. Cool. Cool. Cool. He goes, yeah, I live with my parents, but honestly, they don't really give me a lot of problems. Anyways, I think. And then in the morning, he goes, wow.

Starting point is 00:36:04 No, this is. Cilio from Black Chest. Were you there? Were you there? I swear to God, he brought me back to his house and didn't tell me, I mean we show up and his mom's like, you brought a girl home? And we were like, I'm so fucked. I'm like, wow, these marble counters are beautiful.

Starting point is 00:36:17 I was so. What are your backsplashes? I go, that's a deep sink. So fucked. So fucked. Go in the basement, fuck all night. Not well, of course. He wasn't good. He was fine. He had a big dick.

Starting point is 00:36:29 There you go. Because honestly, swing a little sweet cherry. Yeah, that's why I think if the micro penis is to the smart guys, so they can rationale why they have it, the dumb ones get the hammers. Big, big one. And then we met up the next day and I was like, wait for him to come pick me up. He's like, he calls me, he's like, I fell asleep in the car on the side of the road. And I was like, what? He's like, I don't know where I am.

Starting point is 00:36:52 Shows up, start in Toronto, starts driving with the street cars are he's like on the street car tracks, driving the street cars, like, you're not cars aren't allowed on there. And I got in the car and I sat down and he's like, yeah, I looked over and I went, ah, and I like, I opened, in the middle of traffic, I opened the car car and I sat down and he's like, I looked over and I went, and I like, I opened the middle of traffic. I opened the car door and I ran out. Damn. It was bad. Damn. It was scary.

Starting point is 00:37:11 Yeah. Not because he was trying to decipher. I don't know if he was on something to like it was he drive. I'm trying to decipher if he was. Ever notice your dog slowing down and having health issues and wonder, what can I do to make them better? Well, my friend, add rough greens to your dog's food for 90 days and I guarantee you'll see changes that will amaze you. Greetings, naturopathy Dr. Dennis Black, inventor of rough greens here, and I invite you to give your pup the Rough Greens 90 Day Challenge.

Starting point is 00:37:41 In the first 30 days, you'll see shinier coats and increased energy. By day 60 your dog will have a stronger immune system, less shedding, improved joint function, all due to the live nutrients that you've added to their diet. And at 90 days, better digestion, reduced inflammation, improved heart health, and you may even have reduced their cancer risk. Fetch your dog a free Jumpstart trial bag today. Go to tryroughgreens.com. Use promo code TRYROUGH, that's T-R-Y-R-U-F-F. Go to tryroughgreens.com. Use promo code TRYROUGH.

Starting point is 00:38:14 You just cover the shipping. You don't have to change your dog's food to improve your dog's health. Just add a scoop of rough greens. Nicely recited a himbo, like a male bimbo no I think he were construction I think he's been hitting the head a lot I think something is like could be some CTE bring yeah yeah yeah yeah there's like something going on there yeah because sometimes you see people and you're like there's a comedy club I won't say where but I'll never perform there again. Now, if you see me in public,

Starting point is 00:38:46 this is always the rule on this podcast. It's a rule on the regs. If you see me in public and I'm talking shit and I omit something, you come see me live, danceholder.com for live dates. I'll tell you. Okay. I'll tell you what it is.

Starting point is 00:38:59 Does it rhyme with gazoobies? No, I love magoobies. Do you? Yeah. That's the worst weekend of my life. Oh, I love that. I love that club. And I've sold shit tickets there.

Starting point is 00:39:09 I've sold one ticket. I don't know why I'm there. But I love that club. I don't know. There's something about it. It just hits the perfect amount of road for me where I'm like, I can leave quickly. I'm asking the second after.

Starting point is 00:39:20 But the club owner was talking to me in a way where I was like, I was taking it as aggression. Where I was like, I don't like this guy. This guy's like talking shit to me. This guy's fucking with me. That's what I kept thinking. He was fucking with me. And then it was a Thursday through Saturday weekend.

Starting point is 00:39:37 And then on like Saturday, the local MC goes, you know he has a brain injury. And I went, no shit. And he goes, oh yeah, he's had like two major brain injuries. And then he started talking to me and I went, there it is. There it is. And he goes, I don't have any aggression towards you. No, no.

Starting point is 00:39:56 I still think you're a stupid bitch. Yeah, but I go, look at you, you run this. And then you go, wow. Like the way I was talking to him changed. I go, look who's in the room. Thanks for having me. Where it's Friday, Thursday and Friday. I'm like, I don't know, man. Take me to the hotel. What is this? What's wrong with you? And on Saturday I go, Hey buddy, yeah. Did you

Starting point is 00:40:15 write out the check? Whoa. You have your own check book and your own pen. Oh, and he'll text me stuff. He'll be like, David Lynch died. And you're like, hey buddy. No malice, zero malice out of my head. But that really does, you don't realize. No, you don't realize. And someone goes, yeah, that guy fucking

Starting point is 00:40:36 got hit in the head. And you go, got it. There's a new thing going around where people that are artists are blaming being a bitch on being autistic. No, you're a bitch. You're an asshole. You're a fucking piece of shit. Don't be blaming autism.

Starting point is 00:40:49 Every autism person I've met are the nicest people on planet earth. Yeah, that's exactly true. It's very bizarre. If you've ever done roast battle in LA, I always bring this guy up. I can't remember his name. He always takes his shirt off.

Starting point is 00:41:00 He's jumping around. He's like the main guy for roast battle. He's always like there. He's the most autistic person I've met my entire life. Couldn't be nicer. Hello Stephanie, how are you? Nice to see you. Great set.

Starting point is 00:41:09 Can't wait to see you again. Nicest man ever. Never, never. So don't be like, I'm autistic. You're a bitch. There's some older famous comics here that were dickheads that try to claim that they're like mildly autistic to like, like Seinfeld did that.

Starting point is 00:41:22 Seinfeld was like notoriously just mean to young comics here unless you're rich or famous. Which I could argue I get. He's been famous for four decades. A lot of people bother him. I understand not wanting to chop it up with young. You chop it up, but you say he can be civil still. He's not civil.

Starting point is 00:41:39 He's always been a dickhead. He just walks by you and you're gonna be like, hey Jared, he just doesn't acknowledge you. Doesn't even say hi? And then it's funny that he goes on stage and notices things and you go, cool, so you're gonna be a prick to me and now I gotta watch you notice stuff?

Starting point is 00:41:54 It's like you can't make eye contact and he's like, why is the light is bright? And you're like, okay. Shut up. All right, Jerry. And then he does the thing where he goes like, I realized recently I was on the spectrum. No, no, you've always been an asshole. Stand 10 toes down and just go, I'm a dickhead.

Starting point is 00:42:09 Don't you find it weird too when you meet a celebrity who's way bigger than him, who's the nicest person on the fucking planet Earth, and you're like, you don't have to be like this. Matt Damon is legitimately one of the nicest human beings I've ever met in my life. Paul Giamatti's one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life.

Starting point is 00:42:22 I ran into Adam Sandler one night, years ago, when I first moved to LA, and I was like, he was like trying new stuff, I go, great stuff, he walked by and went, oh really, thank you so much, I've been working on new stuff, and I was like, I'm some schmuck in the back of the room, like, did talk to me, bizarre.

Starting point is 00:42:34 The sweetest, and then people below them are fucking dickheads, and they go, well actually I have autism, and you go, there you go. You fucking sack of shit. Just go, I'm an asshole. Yeah, admit it, I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole. Dennis Leary had a hit song about it, he's like, I'm an asshole, just, admit it. I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole. Dennis Leary had a hit song about it. He's like, I'm an asshole, just being an asshole.

Starting point is 00:42:47 And you're like, great. Yeah, thank you for being honest. I also respect assholes. Yes. I don't respect people that hide behind autism. No, no, no, I don't respect liars. I respect someone that goes, ah, I'm a little crotchety.

Starting point is 00:42:59 Yeah. I'm a little bit of a dickhead and you go, yeah, fuck that. All right, I'll be a dickhead back to you, but it's like, it's not as personal. No, it's like heartbreaking. Yeah influential Seinfeld was Growing up watching that show. All I wanted to do was be that character. Yeah clean sneakers hot girlfriends Great apartment in New York. Yeah, it was like I mean, I feel like you gotta have this

Starting point is 00:43:22 And I'm like hey actually looking around now. And I'm basically marrying my Elaine Benes. You are so what the fuck. So it's great. But are you engaged? Yeah. When do you, when do you, we got engaged like two years ago. So we just, we're horrible at planning and planning a wedding. We need a wedding planner. If you're a wedding planner, get on it, reach out to me. I will get done. Yeah. We want to get married. All of our friends are getting me were like, we just we just want to be married already. I want I keep forcing my boyfriend. I'm like, I know and men love that. Put a ring on

Starting point is 00:43:51 my finger. Yeah. How long you guys been together? Year and a half. Year and a half. Oh, everything started quickly. We move quickly. Two years is about where you start really seeing if now we went through the pandemic together. We were dating for about six months and then we got into the pandemic together and it was like, oh, fuck. Oh, all right. And you know, six months is like barely a new relationship,

Starting point is 00:44:10 but then it was like jump it. But we knew, we knew. That's the thing, I know. We knew it up, within a month we knew. He moved in three months into us dating. Yeah. So I was like, we are doing it quick. Yeah, you do it quick, and then you go through it,

Starting point is 00:44:20 and you go, either this is gonna work, or it isn't. Well, I'm like, I'm 40. It's either working or it's not. Get the hell out of my house. work or it is like I'm 40 it's either working or snog get the hell out of my house kids are no kids I'm 40 he's been slopping stuff in there but nothing's taken guys I love just a fucking letter rip I mean I've been off the pill for eight years now nine years and nothing I've had no I think it could be me do you want kids I don't know that's the problem I think if I was wanting them badly I'd be. So I think it could be me. Do you want kids? I don't know. That's the problem.

Starting point is 00:44:45 I think if I was wanting them badly, I'd be like, let's do this. My sister just had a kid and she's so fucking cute. I'm like, I could just be a cool aunt. That's where I'm at. I don't need- We made that decision together and it was like, it unblocked.

Starting point is 00:44:56 Yeah, we're not having kids. It's also the dog. Again, I have a golden retriever and I'm like, I could just have two more goldens and be happy. I think a dog can give you a form of love. I don't, I hate people that compare it to a child. No. I think a dog can give you a form of love. I hate people that compare it to a child. No, I just mean like, it's not even.

Starting point is 00:45:08 No, no, I'm not, don't fucking come at me. I just mean like, I love Susan and that's already a lot of fucking work. Yeah. On the road, would we? I just know I wouldn't be, my job is I go on the road. Which I'm not.

Starting point is 00:45:21 So you're not home. I'm not gonna bring my baby with me. I'm not bringing my baby. And I'm not gonna make her who, she has a career. I'm not making her give up her career. And then I get to come back in like. Yeah, here's the money, bitch. Suck on my little dick.

Starting point is 00:45:34 My micro penis hit me with that big tongue. And I go, oh. Yeah, I miss that big tongue in the road. Oh, go fucking salt cube me. Salt cube me. I'm a fucking salt cube. I lup. But yeah, I.

Starting point is 00:45:53 I think, yeah. By the way, I am all for people that want kids. Please do. I think it's awesome. All my friends have kids. Yeah. I love threatening presents on my friends' children. Going, I have expendable capital. I can drop a box of toys at your front door.

Starting point is 00:46:11 My friend, one of my best friends, has a daughter and twin girls. So he has three girls total, and they're hilarious. They are, he makes me laugh the hardest. He's not a comic. He's my friend I grew up with. His daughters are very, very funny. I haven't hung out with them a lot,

Starting point is 00:46:27 but I hung out with them recently and they're really making me laugh. And I kept joking that I was gonna send the twins a full drum set and an electric guitar with a stack of amps. And like him and his wife are going like, ha ha ha, and I go, I don't think you understand this. I will do this. And he goes, you see him start are going like, and I go, I can't, I don't think you understand this.

Starting point is 00:46:49 I will do this. And he goes, you see him stuck to go like, okay, don't. And I go like, I feel like a terrorist. I'll do it. If you ever want her, if you ever want peace again, you should just send them like some drumsticks in the mail. Yeah. Just one piece at a time. Just a symbol. Just a single pick. at a time. Just a symbol. Yeah. A guitar pick? Just a single pick. And then he comes home one time in his basement soundproofed. What did you do?

Starting point is 00:47:13 I mean, you could do this over the years. Just slowly start to do that. Carapé, it's coming. Watch your ass, dude. Watch your ass, bro. But yeah, I mean, I think like... I think if you really want them, have them. And I think if you're humming and hawing like this

Starting point is 00:47:25 I'm like and Jeffer my wife Jefferson. He's up from a family of nine Oh, you got all this in nine and he is that died young so he pretty much raised all So I'm like you've changed diapers. You've done this if he was really like I really want one like that's a make or break for me I do it I also think a really say a really thing that I like about not having or the idea of not having kids is that I have money where my friends with kids, if they get into a pinch, they're fucked.

Starting point is 00:47:53 I can help them. Yeah. I can swoop down and go like, I don't, you know. Yeah, here's a drum kit. Yeah, here's a drum kit. My kid's sick, here's a drum kit. Here's a new friend. We need a new friend.

Starting point is 00:48:02 Here's a new Fender Stratocaster. Mow, meow, meow, meow. And I bought classes. They are a drum kit. Here's a new friend. We need a new fender Stratocaster. They are in the hospital. They're intense lessons. She's gonna whale. Tell her tell her to put glue into her fingertips like Stevie Ray Vaughn. So he does? That's what he used to do. He used to put I think it was like, he would he would play the guitar so much you get holes in his fingers and he'd fill it with glues.

Starting point is 00:48:25 Oh my God. Yeah, but Steve, I don't know if you ever watch like old. So my dad watches this. Oh hell yeah. You have the vibe of a daughter. I have the hair of fucking Motley Crue. I understand. Yeah, like you were born to a Motley Crue video.

Starting point is 00:48:39 I think I definitely was conceived for sure to that. Yeah. That's so funny. They go, we're watching MTV. It's like, come on, feel the noise. And that's what it's like. My dad's rock hard. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:49 You're like, ah. Yeah, maybe. I think I was probably conceived to like a, like either Jimmy Buffett or some bar song. Yeah, you look like a Jimmy Buffett guy. Yeah. My dad was huge into Jimmy Buffett. Was he?

Starting point is 00:49:01 Oh, my dad, he died of cirrhosis. So it matches. Well, he died of liver and kidney failure. So that's. He had hep A, or hep C, the party one. Hep A is if you eat poop. Hep C is if you get pussy. Hep C is if you get pussy in a trailer park.

Starting point is 00:49:17 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I don't know why I'm laughing. This is so. It's hilarious. I feel bad. So funny. He really, he fucked some trailer park slut and got hepatitis C and then didn't know.

Starting point is 00:49:27 My parents friends did the same thing. And then he just drank and then he died. Oh God, he didn't know. Shit. It's kind of a rule. I've been waiting for Fat Tit Neil, that slut's son to reach out because I talk about him ad nauseam.

Starting point is 00:49:38 Do you? That was his other son? It was, no, he wasn't my dad's son. It was my dad's girlfriend's son. And when I used to go visit their shit. Fat tit Neil. That's what I called him. That's hilarious.

Starting point is 00:49:48 As a 14 year old boy, it's fat tits. I remember your little pepperoni nipples. He's probably dead of fentanyl. Were they like the fat bastard kind of tits? Like yeah, yeah, yeah, like stuff underneath them. Yeah, dude, I fucking hated that kid. He was so mean to me. That's the thing, when those kids are mean,

Starting point is 00:50:04 like the bullies are like, blah, blah, blah. He took his shirt off and I realized why he was mean. That was one of the first epiphanies I've ever had in my life. I was 12 years old and I was like, this kid's a fucking motherfucker. And he took his shirt off and I was like,

Starting point is 00:50:13 what's up fat tit Neil? And then immediately I was like, this is why you're so mean. Got those fucking huge honkers. Fat tit Neil, that's, that's a new march for you. Yeah, fat tit Neil. He's a character in the cartoon I just sold the Fox. Is he? Oh, there you go. We're trying to get Shane Gillis to play fat tit Neil. that's a new merch for you. Yeah, Fat tit Neil. He's a character in the cartoon I just sold to Fox. Is he?

Starting point is 00:50:26 Oh, there you go. We're trying to get Shane Gillis to play Fat tit Neil. He has to. But Fox doesn't want me to call him Fat tit Neil. You have to call him Fat tit Neil. They want me to call him Psycho Neil. No, no, don't be fucking around. No, Fat tit Neil is Fat tit Neil.

Starting point is 00:50:38 I'm gonna push for it. It's way funnier. You have to push for it. Also Shane voicing a character named Fat tit Neil. You need him to be Fat Tit Neil. Neil was so mean. Of course he was. He was big.

Starting point is 00:50:48 You know when you're like 12, people that are 14 might as well be 30. Yeah. Like they're like. Cellulite, the whole thing. They're just like, two years is such a difference between 12 and 14 and he liked my dad. He like really liked him.

Starting point is 00:51:01 My dad was fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I visited him. My dad likes me, obviously he likes me. I mean, come on. Okay, yeah, you. And then I visited and my dad likes me obviously likes me. I mean, come on. Okay, yeah, you're a son. I'm a son and also come on. I don't have fat tits like you, Neil.

Starting point is 00:51:11 Look at this, I got puffy nipples, but I don't have fat tits. But I don't have fat tits. What do you mean puffy nipples? Puffed up? The nipples are puffy. The whole nipple or cereola? See like the whole, and then when I get cold,

Starting point is 00:51:21 they get really small and I look ripped. So whenever my nipples are fucking cold, I'll aggressively walk down wherever Katie is and I'll go, look how ripped I look. I'm not in shape at all. Fucking jack. It makes me feel like my nips are all tiny. I'm like, look how fucking jacked I am. And she goes, oh, you're so jacked.

Starting point is 00:51:40 She plays along. She's good sport. Yeah, she fucking big tugs my She plays along. She's good sport. Yeah. She fucking big tongues my micro penis. Bring that micro over here. She big tongues my micro. She big tongues your little micro nips so they get all hard.

Starting point is 00:51:52 And I go, ooh. God. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Fat to Neil. He's got to stay the character. No, he's just staying like that. I hope he's dead.

Starting point is 00:52:03 If he's alive, I hope he watches this and I hope he knows that I hope he's dead. If he's alive, I hope he watches this and I hope he knows that I hope he's dead. Yeah, I like, there's people that I hate and I hope they watch my stuff. I think they do, I think they hate watching. Do you ever think about like ex-boyfriends that like follow up and watch like a clip of yours and go like, oh.

Starting point is 00:52:16 Yes, my ex who was a piece of fucking raging dog shit, like one of the worst people on the planet, like found out he was like bad to other women, like several, like one of those, like one of those bad, bad, bad Salt Lake so like cities discussing place never going back I he was obsessed with happy Gilmore and my boyfriend is Jeffers and McDonald he shoot him a Gavin's nephew I looked exactly like him and I know I know he knows I know he's so you know obsessed with happy go or sess with

Starting point is 00:52:44 golfing is his favorite thing to plan to do. This ex blob. And then I met Jefferson and I golf with him now. And I met, I met Shooter McGavin recently. Did you play golf with the shitty boyfriend? No, never. So you got into it with the new boyfriend who's Shooter McGavin's nephew.

Starting point is 00:52:56 Yes, who looks exactly like Shooter McGavin. I love that. No, he looks literally exactly like him. It's actually like alarming. There's nothing better than a spiteful glow up. Oh, oh, it's a spiteful glow up. Okay, where is this man? I love when a, I love.

Starting point is 00:53:09 Look at my fucking boyfriend. He looks like young shooter fucking. It looks exactly like shooter. I know, I'm like. That's crazy. It's crazy. He also looks like Jack Del Rio, former head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Starting point is 00:53:20 Oh does he? There's a football coach that looks exactly like Shooter McGavin. Okay. Yeah dude, that's always fun to think about. It gets me off. Like I love when I'm doing like when I'm on stage yelling at a guy and he hates it. I'm like, I'm wet.

Starting point is 00:53:33 I'm like, you know, when men like hate me, I'm like, I don't know. I feel like this power when I can embarrass them and they're just like fucking mad at me and their girlfriends like dying laughing or something. Do you try to win them back ever? No, I don't care. Because a lot of times, like I'm a pussy. Do you try to win them back ever? No, I don't care. Like I'm a pussy. I want people to like me. No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:53:49 And so you're like... I love leaving, especially if it's one guy, because the rest of the crowd is loving it. It's usually if I really hone in on one idiot, especially if they're like being loud or annoying. Oh. When you walk up and it's this, it's the woman talking with sex, whatever the fuck it is. And then I'm like, yeah, yeah. Like right now I'm screaming at this guy online because I posted a clip about whatever, some crowd, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Starting point is 00:54:06 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, shit. This is why I post it. It's also very funny when, cause you're right, the main attack on female comedians is all they talk about is sex, which is funny because those guys are calling, whoever comedian they're criticizing, they're calling that woman a hack.

Starting point is 00:54:38 Yes. And they're doing the hackiest. Yes, that's the hackiest. Yes. You are actually the hack. Yeah. The hack is you. saying women aren't funny or the sex is the most hack thing you can say. Yeah. And every

Starting point is 00:54:50 man you follow probably also does as a dude. My favorite thing to do is is when someone gives me the generic statement that women aren't funny, I will ask who their favorite male comedians are. And oftentimes, they're not good. Yes. They are very popular, not good comedians. And then you break it down and you go, this guy's joke structure is shit. What do you like about it? And they go like, all right, all right.

Starting point is 00:55:14 Well, maybe. Because it's so easy to go like, now I understand disliking from like a pop standpoint. Because a lot of times the stuff that's very popular isn't necessarily good. But then to make the sweeping generalization, you're like, well, that's impossible. I can tell you people, Maria Bamford is one of the best stand up comedians

Starting point is 00:55:36 of all time. Squeaky clean. She's one of my favorite people to watch. Unwanted thought syndrome for me is, and it's like, so you're gonna tell me I don't know funny when I can give evidence yes I have a time I see yes just laughing her new specials unbelievable Maddie wiener fucking right I just she's so fucking funny how funny Jordan Jensen Jordan Jensen

Starting point is 00:55:57 unbelievable my favorite comics watching now it's insane I brought Maddie wiener or she featured for me at Indie Helium and I just sat in the back hallway listening to her, because I was like, oh, every one of these jokes. Yeah, murdering. Just a fucking, Carmen LaGala, I don't know if you've seen her. Yeah, yes I do, she's still funny. Super funny.

Starting point is 00:56:10 Yep. But there are always people you go, well you don't want. Well you also don't, you don't watch female comics. But I also, there's the male version of that is everyone going, well he's bro, he's just like a bro. And you go, well no, he's talking about male stuff. So sometimes there's like, there's stuff that's just like a bro and you go, well, no, he's he's talking about male stuff. So sometimes there's like there's stuff that's just for men that like from the outside I can see why you think he's a bro. Again, you're also basis of one fucking club on Instagram.

Starting point is 00:56:35 You're not looking at go to my other clips. I do my favorite shit is when I had a joke in my HBO special about I think farts are funny or whatever. And immediately this guy's like, this is a Louie bit. And then what I love is when other people go, what Louie bit? And he goes, I don't know, but I swear I heard Louie do this. And you go, oh, so you're just,

Starting point is 00:56:56 this is what a lot of people don't realize about the internet that comics need to get better at realizing this is people just squawk on the internet just to squawk. So sometimes going back and forth, unless you got a point to nail better at realizing this, is people just squawk on the internet just to squawk. So sometimes going back and forth, unless you got a point to nail down on a guy, you're just yelling at a fucking- Yeah, nothing. I'm yelling at nothing.

Starting point is 00:57:11 It's a waste of my time. One time, Neil Brennan made the, he equivated it to someone, you're yelling at someone driving by and yelling at you. And then you're standing there going, well, fuck you, and I fucking- It's like they're gone. They're not fucking there.

Starting point is 00:57:22 That's a very good- And they're not, it's, But I get wanting to push back. I wanna push back on everything I read on the internet. I don't know why, when it's that, that kind of irritates me. As I would think if I were a woman, I would have a disgusting vagina, but I would not keep it up.

Starting point is 00:57:39 As if you see my. My pussy would be gross, but I would probably get very annoyed with that exact thing. It's just annoying, especially, I don't know. Because I get the stuff of like, what are you a Rogan bro? And you're like, why? Cause I'm friends with people that go on road. And you're like, no, I could, I have my own thoughts.

Starting point is 00:57:57 Also that person probably listens to Rogan loves them. Yeah. That's always the weirdest thing where they go, Oh, you like that? And you're like, no. Some guy actually, I've been dying at this because he, he, he, he I screenshot it because I don't I don't like to post this kind of shit. But it made me laugh. Yeah, but get it out. Craig. I've been watching you a lot. December 1 2023. I've been watching a lot lately. I think you're hilarious. I was

Starting point is 00:58:15 wondering if there any good tips for someone trying to start their career in comedy. Great. Yesterday 8pm. You're kind of a fucking bitch not replying to a fan. You're kind of a fucking bitch not replying to a fan. You waited too long. My guy. My guy. My guy, you waited two years. Two years. Add rough greens to your dog's food for 90 days and I guarantee you'll see changes that will amaze you.

Starting point is 00:58:46 Greetings, naturopathy Dr. Dennis Black, inventor of rough greens here, and I invite you to give your pup the rough greens 90 day challenge. In the first 30 days, you'll see shinier coats and increased energy. By day 60, your dog will have a stronger immune system, less shedding, improved joint function,

Starting point is 00:59:02 all due to the live nutrients that you've added to their diet. And at 90 days, better digestion, reduced inflammation, improved heart health, and you may even have reduced their cancer risk. Fetch your dog a free Jumpstart trial bag today. Go to tryroughgreens.com. Use promo code TRYROUGH, that's T-R-Y-R-U-F-F.

Starting point is 00:59:22 Go to tryroughgreens.com. Use promo code TRYR code try rough you discover the shipping You don't have to change your dog's food to improve your dog's health. Just add a scoop of rough greens Two years how long does he hold on to that best part he's still following me I checked today That's cuz those jokes are good. Yeah, he's the products good enough kind of a fucking bitch There's a person at your front door, Ring wants you to know. Oh, let me see.

Starting point is 00:59:47 It could be Susan. That's like a weird. I don't know why I have this. You know what, it's like psychotic. It's like there's a funny thing, I'm like holding your phone and I go, Ring says your house is being burned down. It's like, oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:54 There's a shooting across the street today. There's a guy raping your boyfriend. It's like, Ring said this. I don't know. I think you might want to take this. I love that Ring camera. I'm spying. Oh, Ring cameras? Oh, I'm spying on my cameras. I love that ring camera. I'm spying. Oh, ring cameras?

Starting point is 01:00:05 Oh, I'm spying on my cameras. I love that. Do you have it in the house? No, no. Just the front door. That's fun. I say things sometimes. People only walk by. That's fun. I know. It's a fun gag.

Starting point is 01:00:14 I'm very jealous because Brendan Sagalow has a cat. And when we go on the road together, he has a camera that watches his cat. So we'll be in the green room. I'll be missing old fucking Miss Myrtle and then I'll just be like what are you doing Sagalow and he's looking at his phone he's like I'm watching my cat and it's like just the camera following his cat around and it's like the camera will move and the cat will be like we'll just go back to it I'm like I'm kind of jealous of that. Have you seen the one that throws the treats out for the dogs? You can like say a tree and it will come in and it will throw the treat out on the camera and you watch it eat a little cheat.

Starting point is 01:00:47 Can we get that as a sponsor? Yes, we get that as a sponsor. And grid down, chow down. Come on, I mean this is gonna be just a dog podcast now. I mean dude, I will get all the treats. I would kill for a camera to feed. I would kill for my dog. I would take a bull of my dog.

Starting point is 01:00:58 I always think that if someone's shooting and I like in slow motion midair like 90s. Can I tell you that makes me feel really good because when I walk My slow motion midair, like nineties. Can I tell you that makes me feel really good because I, when I walk Myrtle, oftentimes I fantasize about what would happen if someone wasn't paying attention and their car hit Myrtle while we were on a walk and how I would pull them out of their car

Starting point is 01:01:18 and beat them to death on Sixth Avenue. You're dead. I think about that a lot. Is that bad? No. I think about the physical lot. Is that bad? No. I think about the physical that I could probably get my hand through the window. And then once I had them, I would pull them,

Starting point is 01:01:32 seatbelt or not, I'm pulling them out. And then I think, okay, well, what if they went to open the door, then I would slam the door on their leg. And then I would take them and I would slam the door on their head. And by the way, this is while I'm just still walking Myrtle. And I go like this, don't eat that. If you see me walking down the street, walking my dog,

Starting point is 01:01:52 know that I'm fantasizing about kicking the shit out of someone that hurts my fat little sweetheart. She's chunky. I like her little fat butt. When, like during the pandemic, when Lady Gaga's dogs got taken, I fantasized, cause I have Golden Retriever in East Hollywood, kind of stands out. So I'm like, I will, that's it. Then you're shooting me.

Starting point is 01:02:12 I'm dead, I'm yet. That's why watching John Wick for the first time, you were like, this is the perfect movie. I can't, the dog doesn't die, right? Oh, the dog dies. I can't watch it. That's why this is why I have one. No, the dog dies.

Starting point is 01:02:23 No, Homeward Bound, All Dogs Go To Heaven. I can't even, when Shadow comes back over that hill. Yeah, I love it. Homeward Bound is one of the greatest movies. When Shadow walks, actually right now, this is what I think about whenever the movie, Milo and Otis. Do you act?

Starting point is 01:02:36 I have. Whenever I have to do a crying scene. Yeah. I audition and I think of my dog dying and start sobbing and my manager will be like, I think you need more crying roles, but it's just me thinking of Susan Dead. And I'm like, no Sue, sweet Sue.

Starting point is 01:02:46 Sweet Sue. Have you ever watched the movie Milo and Otis? No. It's like a eighties classic. Don't look up the Wikipedia. Cause you find out how many animals they killed. No. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:55 What? Oh, it's wild. They did a Legion of skanks episode where they went through it cause it was, it was Louis's favorite movie as a kid. And you find out that was filmed without regulation. But like Homeward Bound and stuff, Homeward Bound I think had like animal cruelty charges on them.

Starting point is 01:03:11 They did? Oh yeah, they don't feel. No! Those dogs don't just participate. They go like, look it up. They do! Look up Homeward Bound. I wanna know. This is gonna be so sad. Sorry to do this. Shadow's getting raped.

Starting point is 01:03:21 That's why he's walking so slow up the hill. They go, you know they actually broke his leg you like find that out or there's just like a Wrangler goes I gotta snap this labs leg real quick for the shot and he goes anyways where do you guys want to go Arby's I want to know homeward bound I know Milo notice was chock full of animal rights violations I try to get Susan to be a Acting dog. I wanted her to cuz she's so fucking cute goldens are so stupid and cute, but then she doesn't listen. So yeah Yeah, I also the way that they do

Starting point is 01:03:59 Acting have you ever watched like behind the scenes clips of how they do with dogs acting and they're like over here over here over here the dogs like There's just like a million treats murder will do it for the treats. She just wouldn't listen. No. I can't even, I'm saying this. I'm saying that word too loud right now. I wanted to back in. She's on the other side of that door. She's going like, what?

Starting point is 01:04:11 What? You're saying treats? And she goes like. Seeing her in that crate, my eyeballs popped out of my head. That's a room. There is, so people on Reddit at least are arguing that Milo noticed, those are accusations. Okay. That aren't true.

Starting point is 01:04:26 But there's an article on Yahoo from April 23rd from Snopes that says animals were purportedly abused in making of the adventures of Milo and Otis. Here's what we found, unproven. Okay. Okay. A Japanese film released in 1986 was one of the first and only hit films to feature an entirely live animal cast. Okay. However, without

Starting point is 01:04:52 animation or CGI the animal actors were allegedly exposed to danger and according to some died as a result. No. Number one film for that year. Japan is fucking nuts. All, what was it, this movie. Have you ever seen Milo Notis? No, wait, I need to show you, there is. So there is nothing, there is actually no concrete evidence. Okay, there's a show in Canada. Maybe you should watch Milo Notis.

Starting point is 01:05:17 Hammy the Hamster, have you ever heard of this? No. It was a TV series in Canada. Okay. And it was all about this guy that voiced a hamster. Once upon a hamster, two seasons, where this guy, it'd be like he'd get in cars with his like, Guinea big friend, and they'd muck around.

Starting point is 01:05:32 But now I'm worried that like, he would drive, he would drive cars, oh, I'm recording nothing. He would like drive around and the guy would be like, oh, I'm gonna drive my friend, Jay, get in the Cadillac. I mean, his voice wasn't like that. But it'd be like a mouse, a bunny. You got to do your research.

Starting point is 01:05:48 I'm going to cry. I had hamsters as a kid too. I'm going to find it. I did hamsters. I feel like, um, get mistreated more than other animals. Well, mine lived for six years. It was so gross. It's balls were a bigger dick than my girl.

Starting point is 01:06:03 I'll tell you that. Damn. It's nuts. He would get so horned up. They would drag around the sawdust and leave like marks. And then he had a jizz corner. He had his pee corner and then he had his jizz corner. He put his legs up on the back bars and he'd go,

Starting point is 01:06:16 and it would spray out. And it was so hard to get, I'd have to clean it right away. Or I'd have to get like a fucking screwdriver to chisel. It was so gross. Steph, check this out. And it was like, I'm not joking. Six years.

Starting point is 01:06:29 It was so big. And I think I thought he died, but apparently he was going to hibernation. I threw him in a garbage can in Toronto. I thought he was dead. I think he was just for her, just for her. Take out box. Yeah. He was dead.

Starting point is 01:06:43 But I put blankets in there. Dude. He was like, hello. Bitch. I, he was dead. But I put blankets in there. Dude, he was like, he was like, bitch, I loved you for six years and this is what I get. I was sleeping. He wasn't asleep. That's like if I fell asleep and Katie was like, I put him outside, he's dead.

Starting point is 01:06:54 I threw him out of the garbage chute, he was dead. I finally got REM. I was getting my REM cycle. I finally fell asleep. I finally got good sleep and I get thrown down the trash chute. Oh no. The special's out. We're gonna no. He's the specials out.

Starting point is 01:07:06 We're gonna release this one. The specials out June 24th. That's my birthday. Oh, Netflix. Shout out. Hell yeah. I know. Go on Netflix, watch Steph Tolov.

Starting point is 01:07:14 She's fucking hilarious. And as a birthday present to me. Yes. I would appreciate you watching Steph Tolov. Thank you. I think we can hold this episode. Can we hold this episode till June? Yeah. This was recorded way back. Yeah. Yeah. we can hold this episode. Can we hold this episode till June? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:25 This was recorded way back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Way back in the day. So anything said that is upset and fat titanil if you reached out, we've made our peace. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:35 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And micro penis. I'm glad you get a good big lick once in a while.

Starting point is 01:07:41 The Netflix special out now. What's it called? Filth Queen. Love it. Filth Queen. If you like Bill Burr too, he's, he's it called? Filth Queen. Love it. Filth Queen. If you like Bill Burr too, he produced it and he's in the beginning of it because I want those views.

Starting point is 01:07:51 Oh, Billy Red Nuts in the beginning. Steph Tolle of The Dirt Queen, I love. Filth Queen. Dirt Queen's better. Dirt Queen's kind of fun. Can you change it? Yeah, yeah, I might change it. Filth Queen's fucking great too.

Starting point is 01:08:04 Filth Queen on Netflix, watch it, you're absolutely hilarious. I'm so glad you came by to be with us. Thank you, I might change it. Filth Queen's fucking great too. Filth Queen on Netflix, watch it. You're absolutely hilarious. I'm so glad you came by. Thanks for having me. And I hope Susan lives a very long life. And so does Myrtle. Oh. There's a new pill, have you seen it?

Starting point is 01:08:15 I don't know, but I'll give it to her. I'll hide it in cheese and I'll give it to her. No, there's a new pill that makes dogs live like 10 years longer. Yes. Myrtle's gonna be 21. I want her to be 23, dude. I'll have her in a wheelchair. I'm gonna go pet her right now. Oh yeah, we'll let her in. She's so soft, she's got a haircut.

Starting point is 01:08:31 You can see the marks, the buzz marks. Ever notice your dog slowing down and having health issues and wonder, what can I do to make them better? Well, my friend, add rough greens to your dog's food for 90 days and I guarantee you'll see changes that will amaze you. Greetings, naturopathy Dr. Dennis Black, inventor of rough greens here, and I invite you to give your pup the rough Greens 90-day challenge. In the first 30 days, you'll see shinier coats and increased energy. By day 60, your dog will have a stronger immune system, less shedding, improved joint function, all due to the live nutrients that you've added to their diet.

Starting point is 01:09:19 And at 90 days, better digestion, reduced inflammation, improved heart health, and you may even have reduced their cancer risk. Fetch your dog a free Jumpstart trial bag today. Go to TryRuffGreens.com. Use promo code TRYRUFF. That's T-R-Y-R-U-F-F. Go to TryRuffGreens.com. Use promo code TRYRUFF.

Starting point is 01:09:39 You just cover the shipping. You don't have to change your dog's food to improve your dog's health. Just add a scoop of Ruff Greens.

Pet Camera - EBO Air 2

Soder - 87: American Dried Meat with Steph Tolev | Soder Podcast | EP 85

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.

Your Ad Here

Pet Camera - EBO Air 2

Soder - 87: American Dried Meat with Steph Tolev | Soder Podcast | EP 85

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.