Soder - 88: Pioneer Plates with Adam Cayton-Holland | Soder Podcast | EP 86

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city! Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tour July 18-19 - Virginia Beach,VA Aug 1-2 - Portland, ME Aug 15 - Wilmington,NC Sep 5-6 - Phoenix,AZ Sep 25 - Los Angeles, CA Sep 25 Los Angeles, CA Sep 26 Seattle, WA Sep 27 Portland, OR OCT 3 Tucson, AZ Oct 4 Denver, CO Oct 9 Knoxville, TN OCT 10 Atlanta, GA Oct 11 Louisville, KY Oct 24 Providence, RI OCT 25 Nashville, TN NOV 7 San Antonio, TX NOV 8 Austin, TX NOV 13 Iowa City, IA Nov 14 Minneapolis, MN NOV 15 Madison, WI NOV 21 Kansas City, MO NOV 22 St. Louis, MO DEC 5 Vancouver, BC DEC 6 Eugene, OR DEC 12 Columbus, OH DEC 13 Royal Oak, MI Follow Adam Cayton-Holland https://www.instagram.com/caytonholland/?hl=en https://www.adamcaytonholland.com/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlj8OJa6xRk PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with DAN Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  Mike Lavin   @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Hey guys, always on the road. You know that the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour kicks off in September in Los Angeles The West Coast dates are announced go to danSoder.com and see if we're playing a theater by you. It's gonna be awesome You know the hour is the hour is close to ready and I've been really having fun doing some shows with it Still doing some clubs though still keeping the knife sharp. I'm not just gonna take off time until that happens So i'm on the road. Then in July, July 18th and 19th, I'm going to be at the Funny Bone in Virginia Beach. And then July 31st through August 2nd,

I'm going to be at the Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine. So any of those dates, you know, it's East Coast. Go to DanceOder.com and get those tickets. Do you worry about having like a dad body? Yeah absolutely. Do you work on it? I've been working out because of it. Like I've joined the Rick Center. What was the moment? I don't like a shirtless photo. I was like that's not me. That is not what I used to do. I sucked in and I was like this used to be my pushing out. Oh buddy. And I was like, that's not me. That is not what I used to do. I sucked in and I was like, this used to be my pushing out.

Oh buddy. And I was like, I gotta get back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I, so I'm going to. By summer, I will not be a fat fuck. You don't look like a fat fuck. I hide it with hoodies. Yeah.

That's what you gotta do. Yeah, fair enough. I remember one time in like, when I first moved in like 07, Colin Quinn was at the cellar and he was talking to me in Joe List and he's like, hey, you'll notice someone gets fat

because all they wear is hoodies. And I was like, really came true 17 years later. Yeah, but I mean success. Jelly beans at night. Yeah, you just got to eat, just eat, eat your. I'm pretty neurotic. Like I've always been neurotic about that shit. About staying in shape?

Yeah, but I think like the way to quell the demons for me has been workout, always. So like, I don't know where vanity and like anxiety dovetailed, but like, if I don't work out every day, I feel weird. You, so you'll, when you're on the road, do you go like find a place to work out? I mean, today I worked out in the fitness center

at the Moxie Hotel. Yeah, dude, Moxie getting it in the Iron Paradise. Elliptical. I was so good before the pandemic and then completely fell off. I was doing like four days a week. Yeah. I was eating right.

I was having vegetables for breakfast. That's the key is eating right. And then now I'm just for five years, I've just been. So it's time to snap out. You know, kids is like, they don't finish anything and you've put all this work into preparing it. And you're like, well, then I'll just eat that too. And suddenly you're just as you clean up their plates You're just rationing up two more rations every time. Do you are bad? You got to cut that out

Do you and your wife cook? Yes, so you're both capable cooks I mean I've have like, you know, they send me the green chef with like here's your meal for the Direction. Yeah, and I can nail those swish every time. It's when you find out people are more responsible and adults than you. And then they act like it's not a big thing. I actually where they go like that. I cook every day. Great. I make sauces. You go sauces.

Ah, fuck. I mean, I'm capable just from like rote repetition. But my son's you know, I never barbecue. And I realize my dad always Barbecued and made like ribs and stuff and so now you're looking at your boys who are like we'd like a hot dog And you're like I gotta fire up the grill and be a dad get into it. Yeah I think I will I think I will how old are your kids? six and almost four

Perfect time to get nasty at barbecue if you're're fucking right, man, dial it in. Dial it in, have them in the backyard. Teach them how to press the meat with the spatula to see if it's. And like hot dog hamburger. My older guy, hamburger dude, course. Young guy, hot dog dude. Look at this.

Fun little duo. I can nail those. Those extra servings are gonna be, that's where the problem is. But that's gonna be fucking rad. Six and a four year old barbecuing in the summer. It'd be good. It sounds idyllic, but every day is a fucking battle. So by the time dinner comes around, you're just like, I just want you guys

fed and asleep so I can be with my wife. Do they fight? They play great. But then they fight for sure. I think they play better than most kids do. Watching other kids. Yeah. But then there's you know, the little man, little man's a real dickhead. This is what I like asking all my friends with kids, because now my friends' kids are starting to become teenagers,

and it's starting to get real. Are you nervous about a 12-14 battle? Maybe a 14-16? And then, you know, the pay-per-view, 15-17. Sure, or like the real one about like when 2018, that you-per-view, 15, 17. Sure, or like the real one about like when 2018, that you don't even know about is the dad. They don't talk at Thanksgiving.

They don't talk about it. That your wife has to call the older one to get him to come home for Thanksgiving. One visited another at a place you weren't even there, and grown-up shit happened. Oh man, if they're in Fort Collins, because the older one's going to CSU, and they get drunk in a brawl.

You know I'm raising rams. No, dude, you can't. You can't let her. No, I don't care. I didn't go to school in Colorado, so I don't have no allegiance, and I enjoy pissing both sides off. But you'll watch that, because in Colorado, by the way, if you didn't want to listen to a Colorado comedy-heavy episode. Yeah, right. It took, it took, what did it take? What did I tell you when Sam Talent was on? A minute and a half.

Go to the next one. We're there. We're getting deep into Colorado. I'm wearing a nougat hoodie. You're fucked if you don't want to hear about Colorado I appreciated that when I showed up but yeah the the 1315 is one you'll be able to control yeah 1517 you might get hurt 1820 you don't want to be around like the George Bush moment where he fights his dad on the lawn yeah and both of them are there I wouldn't win I wouldn't win. I wouldn't win now. I'm barely winning now.

But I'm saying what you have to worry about is the 15 17 fight, 15 year old boys, 17 year old boy fighting them unintentionally hitting you, pushing you off that moment where they're like, Oh, you know, I never had brothers. So it's wild to watch testosterone. Oh yeah. It's gotta be crazy. And so the level that they'll get to where one just out and out socks the other in the face At my house growing up. That's you that's two weeks. Yeah, done. You're grounded. You grew up with sisters I grew up with sisters. So you grew up with emotional abuse big time not watching random punches

No, and they watch little aggro kid boy shit. So they're like fighting all the time Yeah, the six-year-old is chill and kind and thoughtful and the four-year-old just is getting him all the time Just go to them go to them go to them until he snaps But I've told the six-year-old like you can hit him because because he won't is that conversation like I mean, I don't incur I'm not like no, but do you see there? You let me let me get my friends over, get the money out. So funny when you hold his hands and you go, these two are the answers. He goes, what do you mean, Pop Pop?

And you go, this is how you answer your brother. Yeah, exactly. You know, I'm a softy, I don't wanna fight, but I watched the four-year-old antagonize to the point where any other kid would have snapped and leveled him. And my six-year-old, such a good guy, just cries out of frustration. And

now we got to amend that. And he's a sensitive little dude. And it's like, thank you for not hitting him. But I've I've always said, like, if he hits you, and you and you need to protect yourself, you go right back at him. Has he? No. I want to know what he's punched him in a way that is less than what he got. And he's just instinctually pretty good like that. If you're the four year old and you come out to the garage and you guys are practicing form, you go, snap, snap.

The four year old's like, what's going on? Yeah, totally. We're just getting a response. You'll find out. You'll find out what's going on. He lands this correctly, you'll be waking up from it. Dude, I wanted the second one to be a girl, I think as a parent, you're like, I want a pair. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then my wife and I joke, he came out one of the dudes from Jackass. That's so funny. I'm Ellis, and this is whittling your dad down to a nub over the course of a lifetime. Hey, what's up? This is Ellis, and this is eating grass clippings. Bow, bow, bow, bow. This is getting hurt, and I like getting hurt. Let's go to the ER again.

This is pissing off six year old brother till he cries. He's a wild child. Is he just a fucking absolute, is, when someone's this wild as a child, can you link it to which parent? I mean, my wife has fully been like, my bad. And the elder one, he looks exactly like me. Yeah, yeah he does.

My mom's like, you were a little sensitive guy like this dude, so I'm just like raising myself and this rules. We get along great and this guy's like, fuck you, burn it down. And I'm like, I love you a lot, but like this is so much easier. So you want to jump in? Water's great.

He's like, nope, water's on fire. Your older son is going to give you so many like, like head nods. He's already doing it. Your unspoken language is going to be like, it's all right then. Dan, it's's wild and you don't want to like be Like well, you're the good one and you're a maniac So you have to when he scolds him you have to be like hey mom

And I'll do that even though you're fucking right yeah go listen brother You're like a cop you show up you go you are in the right But we have to go the proper steps if you want to prosecute this thing look guys I'm two days away from retirement. Yeah, we just make? Your older son's like I got the brass coming down on me. I can't even fucking police him. This thing goes all the way to the top. I'll get poppy over here. Is the younger one athletic? Yeah dude and he's a lefty. There you go. And he's named Ellis after Ellis. Burks is in there, Lafonzo Ellis is in the mix. A lot of Ellis's. Ellis is a great fucking, do I have a Lafonzo?

I haven't put up my Lafonzo. Every time we open a nugget, I keep it. Oh, dude. Lafonzo Ellis, I would say is the reason I'm a Nuggets fan. Yeah, I mean, power dunker. Awesome. One of the coolest blocks, I'm sure you've seen the highlight, where he like, the guy goes up and he takes it away and comes in with a ball,

like wrapped in his wrist, just, poomp, mind. Him, that 94 team. Yeah. Was just everybody that I love. Matumbo that beating the Sonics. And that was my very public. I'm no longer a Warriors fan. I didn't know you started in Warriors. I was Bay Area all the way through.

Your dad is my dad. Yeah. So I was nine. You know, I still am Niners Giants. Yeah. Which was the hardest part of growing up. Colorado is refusing the Nug the Broncos. I mean, you got some big wins though. I mean, it was a more successful team. I've told this story a lot, but uh, that my parents divorced in 89 and my mom is like, well, I'm a Broncos fan now. And I lived with her in Denver and the 49ers.

I mean, 55 to 10. That's so loaded. You were asserting your manhood. I was like, dude, sorry, man of the house. So we win 55 to 10. Oh, I remember. But the Broncos was a thing where it felt when you grow up in a city in any sports fan, I'll tell you this. When you grow up in the fan of the city and you're not like born there, you move there, there's this almost like feeling of like, all right, stop pushing your shit on me. Because I moved there a 49ers Giants Warriors fan, and it was really like, Broncos, John Elway. And you're like, I don't hate them, because we beat them in the Super Bowl.

I don't like hate them at all. He was actually very fun to watch. Exciting quarterback. And they don't play the Niners a lot, so I didn't really fucking care. I'm confused about that, because I've lived a bunch of different places, but never long enough to adopt sports teams.

And I wonder if I was I like to think but probably it's the opposite that I would that I keep my Denver teams is my favorite. But then I would be very interested in those teams. And unless it came head to head, you kind of got to adopt where you're living. So civic pride. That's for the good of the city. Can't get into the Jets. Yankees, Mets, Mets. I lived in Queens for like 15 of the city. Can't get into the Jets. Yankees, Mets, Mets. I lived in Queens for like 15 years. Yeah. But they're in the NL.

They play the Giants a lot. I would go there for Giants games. Right. I just didn't feel like it. But I was like, you know what? New York Knicks are classic NBA. I could easily. Madison Square Garden.

So I start going like, I think the Knicks are about to be my East team. And then Mello gets traded. Oh, right. And the fucking commercial that they ran in New York was like, I'm coming home. And you're like, as a Nuggets fan, we got our hearts ripped out with that.

And aren't you from Baltimore, dude? Yes, that's what this, Nuggets fans are very spiteful about the, a real Nuggets fan will immediately go mean on Mello. Absolutely. Cause we, and this is just the standpoint of a, of a Denver nuggets fan. We gave them everything and it wasn't enough. Right. And he went, no, I want to live in LA or New York and anybody, and you can go look

up all the articles, you can look up all the interviews, he can spin it now and go like, well, George Carl was a Dick or blah, blah, but it's like no no no the front office was like what do you want? And I believe his response was my wife can't work in Denver I need to live in LA or New York because he was married to Lala I remember yeah, and it was like there was a cribs from his like penthouse in Denver Yeah, everyone's like cribs is coming to town. Oh, oh, up. Get out all your nice stuff, maybe they'll do one on you. And listen, and here's the deal about Denver. I love growing up there, I love that my mom's still there,

I love visiting it. It still has elements of a cow town. Oh, 100%. It still has, the people you meet in Denver, sometimes you expect them to bite gold, to go like, that's real. Like that energy is in a lot of people from Denver. Yeah, there's a joke I have, my new thing I'm putting out was just like when I was growing up. There's only three things to do

You can watch the Broncos you stare at the Sun Yeah, and go to the mint. Yeah, pretty big fan of all three and that was seriously it you learned how money was made Yeah, you wanted to or not grown up in that mint Denver fucking mint How has no one created an ice cream called Denver mint? Oh, dude, like a mint chocolate chip ice This is the podcast to launch it on. Bah! Done, we gotta go. Podcast over, we're wasting time chatting about this.

I'm in the creamery business, you idiots. No, you're saying it's like a cow town and celebrity and this and that. So I kind of understood where, like if you're a cool young black guy, Denver ain't it. You are preaching to the choir. Denver ain't it. You're a young black dude with a lot black guy, Denver ain't it. You are preaching to the choir like Denver ain't it. You're a young black dude with a lot of money. Denver's not it. It's a it's it's almost like you there.

It's like a vacation town to you. There's not a lot of black people there. Also, when your best friends are like in Miami, LeBron was going to Miami with Duane Wade and Chris Bosh. That set off a domino of people going like, well, I don't want to be in this mid-market team. 100%. And I think and I wouldch, that set off a domino of people going like, well, I don't want to be in this mid-market team. 100%. And I think, and I would have understood that. I think a lot of Denver people who are sophisticated

would understand that. And not just like, well, you crossed our team, so fuck you. We're like, no, he's got the whole world at his feet. But the continual talking shit across decades. That's what it was. And throwing little barbs. And constantly saying passive aggressive stuff about, they gave Jokic number 15. That was the his number which by the way

He got drafted during a Taco Bell commercial, right? No one planned on like to act like anyone knew Nikola yokich was gonna be the greatest center of all time is false He's the big quesarito for a reason and you know why you got drafted during a fucking quesarito commercial very true Yeah, and he's never eaten a Taco Bell, doesn't even know what it is. But he'd love it. He'd love it. He was number 15 because he was the biggest kid on his team

and that was the largest jersey they had. They numbered him by size. This is Serbia. Here you go, you're 15, big guy. And he's just number 15. That old teal nuggets sweatshirt he's wearing where he's eight years old, it's his destiny. What if I took my shirt off and I had that on my back?

I almost ordered it. Someone was selling it online. You mean the hoodie It's a crew neck. Okay. Yeah Exactly, and it's got the old baby my favorite logo. Yeah, it's not that it well It's funny is it's the old 90s logo of the dark blue with red, but it's on a teal sweat. It's very Serbian I associate that it's like a Antonio McDyce logo. Yes, both knees could still fucking yak Even when we got him back from the Suns, um But that that mellow thing this that's something that happens now a lot with people and I think it's because everyone's got like a little PR in them. Yeah, we're now people are very good at angling it like they're the victims and he's like, yeah

They were mean to me and they gave Nikola Jokic 15 and George Karl was cruel It's like Mello you told us to fuck off We got rid we got the whole Knicks team for you and Chauncey which that's what I was the most upset about Wasn't even Mello. Yeah, like Dan O'Gallanari came in but it was Chauncey Billups got dealt to the Knicks Yeah, so when that happened, I was like, I can't be a Knicks fan until Mello is gone And then the second he left I was kind of like I cheer for him. I'm not into him, but I like cheer for them. They're pretty fun now They're great Brunson's the man. Absolutely. He's like King of New York, right? And that was very fun the Villanova team and my friends that are Knicks fans

I love them. So I want them to win like because they're I would say Knicks fan base is Great. It's just like it is, you know, I would say Nick's fan base is great. It's just like. It is, you know, I'm such a hater. I'm undoing my argument of like, I would adopt the team because just as a small fly over Denver guy, I'm like, they are a great fan base, but there is short of the Lakers, that celebrity who's on the sideline.

And that does annoy. And of course it's New York. It's Madison Square Garden. It's the most famous arena in the world. Short of Spike Lee, I don't wanna see anybody on that fucking sideline. Yeah. I don't care who's there. What about Tracee Morgan puking?

Did you see that? No. He threw up at a Knicks game. There's two things I'm willing to see. It's Spike Lee and Tracee Morgan. But then he put out a video where he was like, Knicks is one and all whenever I throw up on court side. He's the best.

So I'll do it again in the playoffs. All right, that could be fun. That could be fun. That could be fun Yeah, you know what it is is being a mid-market basketball team And this goes beyond sports. It's just like middle brother syndrome where you're like I'm special. No one tells me I'm special But the Broncos are an identity the Broncos are like if you were to be like what one team signifies Colorado It's the Denver Broncos.

Of course. And it's, they're in your face about it. Yeah. And I've kind of jumped, I mean, Nuggets, you and I text about Nuggets all the time. That's like my number one squad. I follow that more than the Broncos. Yeah, I love that. But it's a football town.

It is 100%. It's Bronco Nation. Absolutely. Bronco Nation, as Troy Baxley used to sing. My friends and I all text each other just the most hyperbolic you should get on. It's like, wake up Orange and Blue Nation. It's another mile high Sunday. Last time I checked that sunset was orange and blue, baby.

No, they always said that. God's a Bronco fan, you listen to KOA, and they'd be like, if you're driving over mile high state, if it's Orange and Blue, God must be a Bronco fan. God's like, I don't even like football. Yeah, exactly. I'm into cricket.

Whatever, God. Are the King Supers kids wearing jerseys while they bag? It's another Sunday in mile high town. Whatever, God. Are the King Supers kids wearing jerseys while they bag? It's another Sunday in Mile High Town. Welcome to Colorado. The air is thin, but the winds are thick. We do things different at altitude. Cut you a six and eight season.

I'm kind of a quiet Broncos hater. Yeah. Like I don't want them to do bad, but when they do bad, it does bring me a sick joy. Specifically, two instances, and this is just hating on stuff sure man, but That's the name of the pod yeah, hey welcome to hate non-stop that really should be the podcast I'll just shit on my Denver men ice cream by Dan Soder now By a gallon you're gonna want it get rich with Denver. It's rich

Yeah, yeah 50% off with the code Mile High Nation, Orange and Blue Broncos Town. Jokic had 15 first in Serbia. Our discount codes are Jokic's stat line the night before. That's really funny. If you know it, like you get really. 46, 26, 32. That fucking triple double was insane.

Oh yeah. When he set the record on against the Suns. Every day my feed, cause that's such a nuggage. It's like never done before in the history of the NBA. Here's Jokic's stat line. I want to get old Russell Ring. Broncos though, as a 49ers fan,

so you grow up a different, anybody watching this that's a sports fan, it's so funny because some of the people that watch this podcast are like, I don't care about sports. I know and I feel so bad. I got so many other things I could talk about. This is what Soder and I launch into.

This is what we want to talk about. Maybe jump ahead and we're done. But when you grow up a fan of a different team in a city, you get shit. You're just gonna catch shit. 100%. All the time. You're wearing your stuff to school. Dude, especially in the 90s, 49ers

with the fucking shadowed numbers. I had a fucking Steve Young shadowed eight. I would fucking rock Niner shit all the time. And then you always catch it. John always better than Joe Montana. No, he's not. You're like, Niner shit all the time. And then you always catch it. John always better than Joe Montana. No, he's not. You're like, what about the Super Bowls? And then you win that argument.

And then Tom Brady came along and blew up my whole entire argument that Joe Montana was the best. But there was a moment in 2000, I believe, 13, 2012, 2013. It's the year that the Broncos went to the Super Bowl against the Seahawks. Yeah, okay. The 49ers lost to the Seahawks at the end of the NFC championship game.

It was a very fucking good game. Richard Sherman batted it back. Yes. They picked it and they beat the. And that was when he talked shit about Crabtree. So it's a very hard loss. I remember that very, very hard loss. Watch that at my friend's house who are Broncos fans. Broncos Patriots was the game before you guys won.

So they were cheering me on. Then the 49ers lose. And this was the first wave of several waves, because it's two weeks before the Super Bowl of friends, family, people I grew up with doing exactly this going, Hey dude, it's not the 49ers didn't win. Broncos will take care of business in two weeks. And I go like, they kept saying it. My friend Joel and Chad both came out here

to go to the Super Bowl, because the Super Bowl was in New York. Both of them, hey dude, Peyton Manning and the Broncos will get them back for you. And I'm like, okay. But by the end of the two weeks, I'm kind of like. You know what, I don't need Peyton Manning to do it okay. But by the end of the two weeks, I'm kinda like. You know what, I don't need Peyton Manning to do it for me. By the end of the two weeks, I was like,

all right, just fucking do it then. And then they got blown the fuck out. The Seahawks blew them the fuck out. And trust me when I tell you, as a lifelong Fornare fan, I never wanna see the Seahawks win a fucking Super Bowl. I don't like their fan base, I don't like the Seahawks. Fuck their stupid neon uniforms. The noise pumped in stadium.

Fake fucking crowd noise, you weren't even, half of you didn't like them in the 90s. Shut when they were in the AFC West, getting dealt with by the Broncos. Just for history. Love it. Fuck the Seahawks, however, however, when the Seahawks blew them out, it was very rewarding to go, thought you were gonna take care of it. Fuck the Seahawks. However, however, when the Seahawks blew them out, it was very rewarding to go.

Thought you were gonna take care of it. Every single person I texted back, I was so spiteful. I hope you text them back right after that snap out the back of the end. From the first moment of the game. I was cheering them on because I hate the Seahawks. And then you watch them start to lose, and then they start to lose bad, and you kinda go.

And then the text became, 49ers are the second best team in the NFL. Yeah There's a psychology when a team started to get blown out where you're like, okay. Well now I'm rooting for this beating It's a weird perverse thing. I think I would like to know if that's a uniquely American thing to go like well if it's bad make it The worst hundred percent like in that last Super Bowl with Philly and Casey. I didn't give a shit I was just a hate Casey. So I loved it. Yeah, okay. the worst. 100%, like in that last Super Bowl with Philly and KC, I didn't give a shit, I was just at a table party. Hate KC, so I loved it. Yeah, okay, yeah, of course I hate KC, so I'm rooting for Philly, but it's hard

to really get behind any Philly sports team. Oh, well, 49ers lost the NFC Championship game to the Eagles, so I had to deal with that. But then the Eagles lost to the Chiefs, so it was nullified. And then we lost to the Chiefs again in the Super Bowl, so this year I was really like, go birds. It is like, it's a constant wavering psychology. What's what little micro harm has been done to me last by which sort of tangential relation? Everything we've talked

about so far on this podcast is just sports, like abuse and pathos. It is all sports psychology. Yeah, man. Fuck that team. I like, Because honestly, the reason I'm a fucking Nuggets fan was the Warriors traded Tim Hardaway and he was my favorite guy. It was Mullen, it was run TMC. Mitch Richman, Chris Mullen and Tim Hardaway. And my dad and I would talk about Warriors all the time and then Tim Hardaway got traded

and I was like, fuck this. And I'm living in Denver, going to school there. And I was like, the nuggets are fucking sick. And I just got into the nuggets. It's really strange how it evolves like that. Like, I mean, I like the Milwaukee Brewers because the Denver Zephyrs fed into them. And now I'm off like the Rockies

cause I don't get me started. I mean, dude, you're a big Rockies guy. You're a huge Rockies guy. I'm a lapsed Rockies fan. I'll tell you right now, I've known Adam for over 15 years. You were a big Rockies. 09, the loss of the Red Sox? Yeah, buddy, yeah.

You were there for that? Fucking Rocktober, I was at every game. Oh, you love Rocktober. Dude, I had a relationship with the Rockies. I threw out an opening pitch. Then we became like, I did the voiceover for a pump-up video during the playoffs where they're like showing the highlight reel and it's me reading whatever motivational crap like I had a relationship with them. What happened? They've just there's such a

clown operation. Is it the owner? Yes it is and and recently a new minority owner bought into the team but he's a very minority owner. And I actually just had beers with that dude. He's the king of Denver. Turn the Rockies around. A mutual friend connected us, and this guy is a young, very successful finance, like tech guy, but bought into the Rockies.

And he's like wanting to meet with people to talk about the Rockies, including disgruntled fans. And my friend knew me, and we like met and had a few beers and I was like, I came in saying like, I don't wanna just unload on you. That's so funny. For my past 15 years of frustration. So how can I help you?

That was how I led the conversation. Was there anything that you said to him that he acknowledged that made you feel better as a fan? Oh, lots of things actually. The people that are remained watching sports, this is such a fucking concept of like talking to the owner. It's a new guy. It's not the crime dickhead.

Who's been fucking up the organization for the entire time. But it has, it's success. That guy who has the ear. Yeah. Has the ear, yeah. That's gotta be awesome. It was very cool. I mean, he was very much like,

look, I need to make some money to show how I'm, that I have clout here. Sure. I need to impress them money to show how I'm that I have clout here sure I need to impress them. You know he's a very like businessman. Go get boba shit Bring back all the boys. He's like how can I get you back into the stadium? And I was like be above 500 in July make some higher from outside pay money I mean you I think every baseball team kind of goes to this where you're like, go get, because I hate the Dodgers, as are you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can both hate the Dodgers.

You saw what they did. They just got a billionaire owner, and he was like, do you want me to go get everybody? And baseball is the rare sport where that's just doable. You can just do that. If you just come in and buy people, Yankees did it forever, Dodgers are doing it right now, and you're kind of like,

hey, you're just poking your team with a stick. As a Giants fan, because they they hyped us up with like we might get Aaron Judge yeah right like because he's from there right and you're like oh shit all right and they're like nah he's staying at the Yankees but there are small market teams like your Tampa Bay's and your Arizona's that occasionally figure it out and hire the smart advanced metrics kids and Billy Bean their way into it moneyball shit and the Rockies do nothing and have just a fucking, just a very stubborn owner who this new guy's trying to sway over, but I'm not convinced.

But it was an eye as a sports fan. What a dream come true. Yeah. Unbelievable. I mean, you know, it's been unbelievable to watch Mike McDaniel go through coaching in the NFL and watching his power change and like the dynamic of when you become a head coach being like, oh, so like you talk to the owner a lot.

He's like, yeah, I talk to the owner a lot. And you're like, that's gotta be crazy. It does. It was, I keep the, the reason he brought that up was I was like, throwbacks. You should be wearing the fucking throwbacks. The Dolphins have up there with the Broncos and the Patriotsots my favorite throwbacks

And I know unbelievable and the tip they bucks. Yeah, I love the creamsicles Yeah, but I'm like those are some of the best merch in the world and he was like And the owner spent a lot of money on the new logo I was like, it looks like a dick jumping through a nuvaring and he was like I can't say that but but I was like, right But all I, you know, what's funny about being friends with anyone that works in the NFL is you understand all the merch you have is temporary.

Right. It's like, it'll go. It like, Houston Texans, great. And then he left and went to the Falcons or the, he went to Washington, then Cleveland, then Atlanta and you're like, I know all this stuff stuff and then he landed in San Francisco and I was like personal now I keep the merch when he left San Francisco I was like well we're not getting rid of this merch yeah right that's the best part be friends with

someone that works for a sports team just for the merch I have not reached that maybe this guy can be my new buddy he's like come to this game come to that but go get a rocker. Tell him you want for, and everyone from Colorado will know this, for a fucking, an April or May cold ass Colorado game. Yeah, yeah. Get you a fucking Starters Rockies jacket.

I knew you were gonna say that. Yeah, it's like purple and black. Ooh! Old school starter. Goes hard as fuck, and they're making them again. Do you remember, I'm sure you do when Rockies started 93 yeah April 9th 1993 was their first was the first game was my cousin's birthday I love you Soder yeah I was at that game yeah against the Atlanta Braves no San Francisco

Giants that was the first series Eric Young hit the first home run it wait was it there in Denver you would talk about that was against the giantants? Home opener was the series, a three-game series against I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure it was the Braves. Well, Eric Young hit the first home run in my high school. That's for sure. Hold on. We got to figure this out. If you're, you might be right, but I could have sworn it was the fucking Braves. I don't know. Because I went to one of the first three games because what's so funny is when they found out that Colorado was getting a baseball team, what I said to my mom and she'll, I go, I'll, I'll love them if they're in the NL central, but if they come to the West, I can't fuck with them because of the giants. Yeah. Right. And then they were like, they're in the NL West. And I was like, well, then fuck the Rockies. My mom kept being like, cut it out of Rockies. We'd have like Rockies

mugs and shit. And I'd be like, you might be right about this game. I'm being outed as a fucking, no, you're not, dude, cause I was at that game. I was also 12. No, dude, I was a Giants fan SF for life. Where is, I want to see. So I was at that game. I was also 12. Nah dude, I was a Giants fan, SF for life. Where is, I wanna see, so I'm on their Wikipedia right now. They can't even get a fucking Wikipedia right Soder. It is, I mean. This organization is a clown show.

I wanna know, first series ever. All right, so we'll go April 10th, April 9th. Oh, my laundry's done. 1993. He cuts, you come in a newth. Oh, my laundry's done. 1993. He cuts you come in a new hoodie. It's a Rockies one. It's the Nationals. That's not they weren't an organization back then.

What the fuck? That was the spring training game they must have just played. What the fuck, dude? Colorado Rockies first home game. First the Giants, three one. OK, and it was yeah three to one. Oh that was yesterday God honey go out to the pennant in my garage. I and tell Dan Soder with 1993 schedule. Yeah, you know what? Come on it says Nationals look that's not fucking right April 14th 1993. It says Mets the best were the first game

This is driving me nuts You gotta get his Rockies Mets. Well, look I got him now. I honestly I'll stop down this whole fucking podcast. What if this is a deep state like Berenstein Bears type of thing? Dude, is this a Mandela effect? Everybody has a different team that the Rockies played in the first game. Who the fuck, and also Google, why are you broken? I'm like, hey, what?

You gotta bing it, bing it, dude. Dude, I might. Don't even tempt me. Colorado Rockies. Duck Duck Goof It or whatever that is. Yeah, I typed Colorado Rockies 1993 schedule. Yeah. So that should be.

That should be the home, but you should say home opener because there might be the away. All right, this is from baseballalmanac.com. That's the source. This is. That's Don Baseball. At New York, oh, you know what it was?

They put, they started away. You, yeah, but their home opener, it was the Washington nationals cuz you know who they were before that who the montreal expo's oh yeah So they've updated it to say national. Well Google did that's insane. I must have gone to the expo's erasure That was the first time they played the San Francisco Giants. But I thought that opening weekend was the fucking, but it was the Expos. I thought none of this feels right to me. It feels all fucked up, trust me.

It really does. Fire off in the comments if you actually know. I'm gonna walk outside, there's gonna be like a blizzard suddenly, like everything's changed. Oh, oh, oh, oh, they go, isn't it crazy President Bernie Sanders is having a third term?

And you go, what the fuck happened? Hey, you know what? I'm cool with a third one for Bernie. Get her done. It's the 1% has been fed to the 99%. You go, cannibalism's legal. Yeah, but only for the certain economic brackets. Yeah, you must be poor enough to eat human flesh.

Speaking of the uber rich, you were talking about knowing people that are in sports and stuff like that, and you were billionaires. So maybe you've had more like rubbed elbows with them. This meeting with this owner of the Rockies was the first time. I think that's the richest person I've ever sat with. Yeah. And it sort of just felt different. I feel the power. You really do. So there was an episode of Billions that we taped,

I think it was like season four, where we did like a celebrity boxing match, where like me and another guy, celebrity boxing, we were like awful, that was the whole point, is that we sucked. But they did like a bunch of cameos. They did like, Rich Eisen was there, a bunch of guys were there.

Stipe Mijotec was like in my corner, Deontay Wilder was in the other guy's corner. So it was really cool, it was like a really cool thing. So everyone's trying to talk to Rich Eisen, everyone's trying to talk to Stipe and Deontay, and we're like, you know, it's like a 12 hour shoot, and we're broke for lunch, and that was Nam Son, shout out Nam Son, had' lunch there that day.

Hell yeah. It was very good. Good day on set. Great day on set. And then I'm like chillin' on set and they're like changing up the set and I'm talkin' to this old guy. It's very unassuming.

He's just like really, he's like, how long does this take? And I was like, oh, it's like 12 hours He's like, yeah, it's not that bad. We're like kind of commiserating on that. I was like, oh, this isn't a job I was like, he's got a hurry up and wait, but yeah It's just hurry up and wait and it's easy and I go and also like don't get coffee for you or whatever and you can Just chill and with a phone. You're just not bored. Yeah, he's like, yeah, it's crazy. So let's talk about phones And then the dude walks away you like he's like I gotta go. It's great meeting you. He was like, yeah, it's crazy. So we're talking about phones. And then the dude walks away. He's like, I gotta go, it was great meeting you.

He was like, very nice. I was like, cool. And then David Levine, one of the creators of Billions, who I'm friends with, comes over to me and he's like, do you know who that guy was? And I was like, no. He's like, that's the guy that shorted Enron. And I was like, what's up?

And he's like, that guy's got like 138 million. He was like, I don't think he was a billionaire, but he was crazy wealthy. And I was like, what's up? And he's like, that guy's got like 138 million. He was like, I don't think he was a billionaire, but he was crazy wealthy. Where I was like, no shit. And the thing I liked about him is he didn't really have that aura. I thought he was literally a, I thought he was just an extra.

Cause there was like a bunch of extras mixed in. Love that. And then you were like, oh, this guy's, I wanna be like, hey, you look like a billionaire. And then he walked away and that guy was like, fucking shorted Enron. And you're like, I watched that movie. Yeah, exactly.

Wow, that's cool. That's like the Warren Buffett type of billionaire. That's the way to be. Yeah, which makes me think those guys are even more evil. You do you? Yeah, because there's some- You can just drive by his house. I've been to Omaha a bunch.

You can just be like, where's Warren Buffett's house? And you just run up on him. Run up on his house. You can- Run up on his house. I didn't try to ding dong ditch, but I thought about it. Run up on one of the world's wealthiest men's houses and see if you don't get instantly clipped That by a sniper that Jack Lennon was asking for

You just go up and you're like, I'm gonna ding-dong ditch they go out of now Then you just get shot with a gun. You didn't even know they had exactly They go actually the CIA has these heart attack rifles where they can just shoot your heart. The sandbags inside your body already. You're already dead. That's what I always whenever they show pictures like someone on the internet I saw basically the same thing where someone was like Bill Gates was buying a hot dog and they're like so rich no security and someone's like try him. Try him. Go ahead make that move. Yeah someone with that amount of money that's what I'm saying run up on Warren Buffett's house. Oh you're 100% right. And those kind of billionaires make me think

that they're like doing that because they know that we'll sit around and go like, you know, it's just a regular billionaire. Yeah, exactly. Like they're not completely greedy. I'm sure they compare the quality of their security and it's like, it's a flex. Yeah, they go.

The things that their security have done. This guy killed seven in Iraq, walked away scot-free, and they go, damn, he's like, gives a tip of the hat. I met Brett Goldstein recently, lovely dude, he's that comedian, he's on Ted Lasso. Oh yeah, yeah. He's hilarious. And I didn't realize how big he is,

but then you realize how big Ted Lasso is. Oh yeah, Ted Lasso's a huge show. Yeah, so big I say it wrong. No, I like it, you're like negating him. You go, cast me, Ted Lasso. I go, that ain't a lasso. Yeah, I'm from Colorado, that's a lasso. You do like Western stock show shit? You go, oh me Ted Lasso. I go, that ain't a lasso. Yeah, I'm from Colorado. That's a lasso.

You do like Western stock show shit? You go, oh yeah, like that? Yeah. Have you ever seen Adam do fucking like rodeo stuff? Watch him mutton bust. He's the only 44 year old that still let do it. Just ride a lamb. Speaking of my four year old, like he's a mutton buster.

We're what you, I looked into it. You can only be, he's almost four. You have to be five, but I'm like, this is the year Can you ever seen anyone ready more ready? This kid is gonna crush it. I I have friends with children Yeah that watch this show and I love all my friends kids sure No one's more important than anyone else. You let me know when that happens I'm flying out to the Western stock show buddy to watch your son mut bust. For those of you who didn't grow up around a giant rodeo. Mutton bust. And we're both like city kids,

but you just have to know this shit. Colorado, there's certain knowledge. You need to have an active working knowledge of Tiva sandals. You need to know Cave of the Winds. New Crocs plugs just came in. Crocs are the modern Tiva. Yeah, for sure.

And when we were in elementary school, middle school, you had the... Oh, the strapped Tivas with umbros, black umbros with like white band around the cuff of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever sports jersey you need. Whenever you grow up in Colorado, you go, the Western Stock Show is,

they show off cattle, but there's also a rodeo that's connected to it. So you go to the rodeo. It's like a month of events. Yeah. They march the cattle through the city. Denver Civic Center is where they used to do it. I think.

Or McNichols. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then McNichols, and I don't know if they do it, I don't think they do it at Ball Arena. No, it's out at the National Western Stock Show Complex over by Globeville. Makes absolute sense. Off the highway, yeah.

But you go, my stepdad Nick would take us, and it was fucking. It's a stepdad move. It was so fun. You eat like popcorn and hot dogs, you watch rodeo. It's a combined like 4-H thing, you can go and see all the livestock. Yeah, you can go clutch like a steer.

Buy fucking saddles and leather. Oh my gosh. And every dream catcher you can think of. Every mom gets a new cowboy hat. Rock candy time. Oh, fuck. Don't even bring up the hat. Rock candy time. Oh, fuck! Don't even bring up the rock candy. What are we in, Silverthorn?

I feel like I'm fuckin' about to go, go through an old silver creek. Well, come on in, a bear's mayor. Yeah, but I, but you go, and the part I was jealous of is mutton busting, which is kids take down lambs. Right, well, they strap kids to lambs Like they're jockey, but they put them on football. They put football helmets on them. It's completely safe

Yeah, and then they just like shit. I don't know what they do They probably pull on the lambs balls just like they do on a fucking you know, it's not true fucking bronco or whatever I looked up bulls because I thought they put rubber bands around their nuts. They don't really yeah, they don't do that That's a big misconception. Because growing up, that was my favorite reference. Like, what are you gonna slap rubber bands on my balls so I can kick you like a bull? And then I said that to someone and they go,

that's not true. Hey Dan, that's actually not rodeo accurate. That's like me saying the Giants were the first series played at Mile High Stadium. We both blew that one. Fuck, it was the Expos. But mutton busting. So yeah, so then they just, I don't know,

whatever they do to fire up the sheep, probably not this balls myth, you're a bulls ball truth. Or it is and I'm just like naive. And the fucking sheep goes flying and the kids get bucked off or they stay on and win. So my- And the crowd goes nuts. How can you not want to see that? I will put it, I would equivalent it to

dog frisbee at half time. When people at an NFL game, you want to get an NFL crowd hyped at half time, fuck a marching band, fuck music, dogs, frisbees. People go bat shit. I mean dude, I watched it at my high state and they fucking whip it. And then that dog just, the closing speed of like a Shelby, just launched in the air. I've done, I've gone to like sportsmen shows and I hate all this shit. I mean, I hate hunting, I hate guns,

but I've gone to sportsmen shows at the convention center and they'll have dogs like jumping off docks. Dock diving for distance. Dock diving with dogs. Oh buddy, that's all you need. Get ready YouTube algorithm. We're gonna go far. Change what's going on on my phone.

I'm flying to Denver tomorrow and I'm watching dog diving videos. Well, I'll tell you what, if Ellis gets accepted to the Mutton Bustin' Circuit and we're hoping for a scholarship, I will let you know Soder. For sure, man. Please let me know.

But I'm telling you, he's competitive in the right way. Like I watch him, he's like, I can jump four stairs. And then he's like, I can jump five stairs. And then he'll do it and he'll hurt himself and hurt himself and he'll land five and he's like I can jump six stairs. So he's just like if he we're gonna take him this year and show him mutton busting and let that stew in his head for a year. Oh my god. First off Ellis is gonna go nuts. Yeah. Because the second I was too old. I think I was like 10 when I saw it and I was like I want a mutton bus My mom was like absolutely not huge. It's too big. You'll crush that lamb with your giant head, but Yeah, that'll be fucking I want to get a hold of that lamb and just make it like like lime green or pink

Yeah, Ellis comes out. It's fucking different. Yeah, who's this kid? You're like this guy died the sheep a mohawk. Yeah And then he just like fucking Pantera. Yeah, he's got a helmet with the mohawk? Yeah, badass. And then he just, like, fucking Pantera. Yeah, he's got that helmet with the mohawk on it. That would be sick, dude. Yeah, I got a lot of them. What do you say? We specked.

It's just fucking Alice writing this. Calling it my skin. Oh my God, is it a Linkin Park medley to mutton busting? Do you hate the transplants? Uh, fuck, that's it. This is something you should always ask a Colorado native. And by that I mean Native Americans. Yeah, exactly. They hate transplants more than anybody. I never, I used to have jokes about it. Don't use the term native.

I'm not, I'm not fucking Cherokee. Yeah. I'm not an Apache. Yeah, exactly. Um, but there's been so much growth in Colorado that I enjoy parts of it. Sure. Like my friends and I growing up, I don't know how you felt. It was like we got to get out of Denver. Denver is a cow town. And all of us went to like colleges out east. A number of us went to good schools out east. And then we all kept slowly. They're like, Hey, Denver is getting pretty cool. Yeah. I could buy a house. Denver grew up when you grew up. It did. So like there was a desperation to leave. I was like, I'll never live here. And then it just got cooler and cooler and cooler and cooler I was I was doomed because I would spend my summers and winters in San Francisco in the 90s which was the fucking coolest my wife and I are such

SF heads like I like 90s music videos so much so many cool bands are from there oh dude it was like I mean you know my dad worked in a liquor store and could afford to live in San Francisco and it was like the people that were around were like a mixed bag of people where now it's all tech bros Of course everyone else is priced out of the city, but that city is unreal. I love San Francisco I was just there three weeks ago doing the Palace of Fine Arts and it was like That's so cool. It was yeah, but it was like one of those weekends We were like if I made enough money and I fucked off in the business

Yeah, I probably would move here and just drive down to Santa Clara every Sunday to see the Niners. Listen, listen what I'll say. Barcelona of the United States. You think so? San Francisco. It's the Barcelona of the United States. And for those of you that don't know, lived in Barcelona. I lived in Madrid, so I'm a real head. Michelle Wolf lives in Barcelona. Really? Currently? Yeah, she's been there for a while. That's so fucking cool. Three or four years. Barcelona rules. And it's like, it's the same like kind of hilly and you can see, you know, you get these, suddenly you turn around, you're like, look at this 360 panoramic of this most stunning landscape.

It's unbelievable. And that's what San Fran is too. San Fran's got that old architecture and shit that's still hung on. Like New York, what sucks is now they're knocking down all the old buildings to put up these like space window buildings. Right, and those tiny tall fuckers.

It sucks. I started seeing that when I lived in Queens. Where they would knock down a row house and then just go like six stories in the thing and it just looks like a jagged tooth coming out. Yeah, I don't know man, at least there's some that are like architecturally interesting. In Denver they're just knocking shit down and throwing up like,

it's three Chipotle's on top of each other. That's so funny. And it looks so ugly. Yeah. That's not even an attempt, not even an architectural swing by anyone anywhere along the line. Denver does have some great original architecture, the four square porches.

There's cool shit, the Denver Square. The Denver Square, yeah. You go down there and you see those porches and you're like, oh, this is like, and then you realize that they were smart when they built it and it was also for the winner. It can kind of keep enough stuff out. So that pisses me off.

Yeah. The just woeful, knocking down the old, not caring about it because there's money there. So who could- Yeah, development. Yeah, but I guess my answer is like, if Denver wasn't getting bigger, it would lose my interest.

I would have been gone a while ago. You think so? Yeah, I think so. I think in my like, you know, the Denver comedy scene was always enough that I could go out and try to do comedy, but come back to this great club and this great scene. For sure. That was always growing.

And it's always punched above its weight comedically. For real. So it just felt like, yeah, it's a small town. ComedyWorks is an elite club. It is. In a city that, it's funny, the cities that have some of the best comedy clubs, Madison, Denver, fucking Portland,

is you're like, oh, they aren't the major cities. No, they're not. So yeah, Denver always had enough for me. But if it had stayed the small town, I think they aren't the major cities. No, they're not. So yeah, just Denver always had enough for me, but if it had stayed the small town, I think I probably would have been out. I get that. I wanted to, my whole thought of growing up in Denver was, if I go to college here, I'm gonna stay here.

Yeah. Because it's very comfortable. It's very comfortable. It's like a very comfortable place to live. The people are nice enough that it's believable. Yeah. That it's not like Midwest nice where you're like, you're fucking lying to me right now. There's no fakeness to it.

It does seem a lot like, I mean, not like, what have you done, where are you from, but like kind of like, what can you offer? Yeah. And that seems to be the Denver attitude. It's a captain. It's a captain. It's based on.

People had to like help each other shovel out. Did you, when you were in elementary school, did you, I'm wondering if this is a Mandela effect, but I think it is real, because I remember it very clearly. Did you ever go to a field trip to a reservation? When they teach you how to build the tent, and they teach you, or a teepee, sorry.

They teach you how to raise a teepee, and they teach you like- Oh yeah, absolutely, I've done stuff like that. Do you remember that? Well, it was in elementary school, I remember taking a trip in like eighth grade, with the school I was at. It was the Southwest trip.

And you went down, we went down to Taos. We went to the reservation. We camped out. Yes. Native people stayed with us. What's the plateau where you go see the the the table mesa? Oh, yeah, for sure. And there's that mountain range that looks like, you know, a Native American lying down. Yeah.

So what was crazy about that is, historically, what a fucked up field trip. To make people that push the Native American out of their land and then you go look at it and you go, so this is what you guys are doing with it. I remember. It's also not like we're from pioneers. My parents moved to Denver a generation ago.

My grandpa was there in old Colorado. He was born in old Colorado, which means his dad was there in old Colorado and about 19. He was born in old Colorado, which means his dad was there. So you could qualify for pioneer plates. Really? That's a thing. If you're three generations deep, you can get pioneer plates, which is the ultimate flex.

Trish. This is the first thing I'm talking to her about or when I get home, she's third generation. It's all problematic covered wagon on it. It's a pioneer plate and it. Oh, that's a real head Cuz I I get points cuz I'm born in Denver people be like you're the first person from Denver I've met and I'm like well everyone I know is from here cuz I'm from here Yeah, but you won't my mom wasn't born there. Okay. My mom was born in Phoenix. Well, so wait what but I thought you said

You're you're from alt my grandfather was born in all college. It buddy. That's your grandpa Let's go. It's like that military health insurance. You're good. I'm not Rob Gronkowski-ing this right now. Yeah, buddy, you're good. Where Rob Gronkowski's just harassing Sam Elliott to get him on it. That's the weirdest campaign. It's such a money grab.

I know, but it's also like, God, I wish I had that military insurance as the whole campaign. It's like, Gronk, they're fucked up. They fought wars. Yeah, dude, they can't. They got PTSD, bad. They'll piss their pants if they hear firecrackers. You're over here fucking... I want that! Ugh! Well then enlist, Gronk.

It's so funny that a guy with brain damage wants a different form of brain damage. It's NFL insurance. It's like earnest. The NFL insurance won't cover CTE, which is so fucked up. So I need this military insurance. Because it will, but it doesn't cover PTSD. Like the way that they don't fucking go. Yeah, exactly. Where does CTE meet PTSD coverage? And the thought of him having to live with Sam Elliott, cause they're both financially destitute.

Just out of their minds. Through various forms of CTE PTSD. He goes, well roommate, looks like we're both nuts. Looks like we're both sleeping in piss tonight. Yeah, but how'd you see they took? The tight end for the Ravens the guy that dropped the ball in the playoffs I know you're talking about his gram his like dad was in the military So he's doing those commercials now it with the flex of I got it. Yeah, which if I'm grunk I go, let me do another round and talk about how I won a Super Bowl

It's got I think it's Mark Andrews, I forget what the tight end's name is, but he's like, my family's been in the military. That's why I have it. And then Gronk's like, Meanwhile, the guy from the insurance company is like, guys, can we just get the spot, please? Guys, Sam Elliott's gotta be back to the home in an hour.

Yeah, there is like a feeling of growing, like I didn't like going back to Colorado to visit and having people that were transplants try to out Colorado me for sure where they go like you left. Hmm. And you're like, well, yeah, I grew up here. Yeah. Well, you're a sneaky I you know, we Denver so small town, you're proud of everybody's doing great. Oh, yeah. And you're a sneaky one. Not a lot of people know. No. Yeah. And I mean, I'm actually you're not hiding in it, which is where my wife's from. Yeah.

And I'm not from Denver. I'm from Aurora. You're not hiding in it, which is where my wife's from. Yeah, and I'm not from Denver. I'm from Aurora. Which is like- And I fucking stand ten toes down on that. That's gangster. Yeah, it's 225. It's fucking legit. Dude, I rock shirts.

I had shirts made just with the 225 emblem. Did you get them from the Aurora Mall? No, but I'll tell you right now, I'll open a press there. The fact that the Aurora Mall's still open is bonkers. My ninth grade basketball team at my rich school of all white kids and one black kid. We wanted sneakers, it was green and white, so we wanted these sneakers. I can't remember what they were but they were green, white and black and the only place you could get them was

the Aurora Mall. Shout out. So we all went to the Aurora Mall. The Gart brothers? No, it was like a black men's store. It stores like Harold something Harold Pinter probably next to the mr Ragged it was fucking insane like I just I Wish I could be a fly on the wall watching those clerks watch us these little fucking like dudes who came from a bar mitzvah to like Basketball teams playing we wanna they go. Why don't you play our boys out back? basketball teams playing. We wanna, they go, why don't you play our boys out back? And it's like, we're playing basketball. They're like cool, those are.

Those are balls. Black kids jacking. They go, they're going to TJ in the fall. Yeah, Larry Johnson's grandma's there. Oh, fuck. He's going to TJ? What the fuck? Yeah, that was, I mean.

That mall rules. Yeah, Aurora Mall was like where we went, but then Park Meadows opened. And you go to the mall to see Hot Girls. Yes. Hot Girls, we're at Park Meadows. and you go to the mall to see Hot Girls. Yes. Hot Girls were at Park Meadows. Oh yeah, Aurora Mall is... Because it's pulled... Park Meadows was pulling in Creek, Highlands Ranch. Yeah. It was pulling in all like the Hot Girls schools. Aurora Mall, you were like, I guess if I want to be down the streets, I go to Aurora Mall. It's legit,

but yeah, no. Cherry Creek Mall guy. And when they opened up... Oh, wow. When they opened up Park Meadows, we were glad that the riff raff scattered off to Park Meadows. Cherry Creek Mall guy. And when they opened up. Oh, wow. When they opened up Park Meadows. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We were glad that the riff raft scattered off to Park Meadows. Cherry Creek Mall was so rich that we would go and I'd be like, we can't afford it. My mom would be like, we can't afford any of this shit. My school was down the street from it and we had half days on Fridays,

so you better believe we'd go to fucking KB Toys buy those guns with little yellow bullets and shoot each other throughout the mall. You wanna get real Aurora? It ain't about fucking the Aurora mall, it was about Buckingham Square. Dude, that is, yeah. Where all my Buckingham Square heads at.

My wife's gonna be like, fuck yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, you wanna talk about KB Toys? That was Buckingham Square for me. And I used to deliver pizzas right in that area, at Pudge Brothers. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now Buckingham Square, they tore it down and it's all smaller shops or whatever. But whenever I drive by, I'll be like. Oh, yeah. Yeah now Buckingham Square. They tore it down and it's all like smaller shops or whatever But whenever I drive by I'll be like, yeah respect. Yeah, dude. I love that Buckingham Square was wild That was one of the first malls I saw that was Closed like half of it was closed. Yes, and you'd go and you'd be like Why is this place still open and if you went at night to a mall like that like Villa Italian? Mom was one like that that they would just they forget to open a door or lock a door yeah just go in it's just some post-apocalyptic landscape the name Buckingham Square popped into my head

yeah they had like English soldiers yeah outside yeah Denver was really taking swings stop really take it just be yourself I know that was an Aurora that was a straight I mean the Aurora Mall was like nice compared to Buckingham. That's how bad Buckingham Square was. Fuck, don't you wish you could go back there for an afternoon and just Orange Julius it with you? That'd be so fun. Dude, I remember fucking pulling up in Nick's truck

and him being like, he'd go to like Ace Hardware and then be like, do you wanna go to KB Toys? And you're like, yes, Nick, I got 10 bucks. My first job was in the Cherry Creek Mall selling shoes at Track and Trail. Nice. Which was like hiking boots and I're like, yes, Nick, I've got 10 bucks. My first job was in the Cherry Creek mall selling shoes at track and trail, which was like hiking boots. And I just stole, I stole so much money from that place. That's gotta be awesome though.

Living where you grew up because you can tell your sons like I worked at this mall or when they get old enough. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like, dude, this is this store now. It's like a leather goods across from the papyrus. That was your old man stealing polish just because he was mad for some reason. They just closed down my first job, Emerald Isle on Parker Road. What was that?

It was a Mexican restaurant called the Emerald Isle. Already ahead of the curve. Your wife will know about it. It had the greatest view I've ever seen from a patio of the Cherry Creek Reservoir and then the Rockies behind it. Cause Aurora's kind of up and Denver slopes down. So you get a great view. So you have these unbelievable views

of Denver in front of the Rockies. Specifically this, it was a giant wood, like old seventies patio that sat like 200 people, 300 people. And they had kegs under it or whatever and they hired me illegally when I was 13 and I bussed tables there on like Fridays and Saturday nights and it fucking ruled.

I saw so many of my friends' parents get blackout drunk. I saw so many of my future football coaches get blackout drunk. I learned how to fucking tap a keg when I was 13. Smoking Marlboro Lights with the hot girl learned how to fucking tap a keg when I was 13. Gonna be necessary. Smoking Marlboro Lights with the hot girl that went to fucking Greeley, that was working there for the summer.

Oh, she played volleyball at Greeley. UNC chick, a bear? Oh, she was a golden, and I just remember her fucking long tan legs. I love it, buddy. She's like, do you wanna smoke a cigarette? And you're like, yes! Because I was already smoking.

Oh, okay. So I was like, yeah, absolutely, I smoke. And I like didn't cough or whatever, and she's like, oh, you do smoke. And I remember being like, yeah, absolutely, I smoke. And I didn't cough or whatever, and she's like, oh, you do smoke, and I remember being like, you wanna marry me? That's giving me Caldonia's energy. Remember Caldonia's?

Across from the Piper Inn? My guy. Who are you talking to? No way, what you got? Who are you talking, take that home with you. No, what? Take that home with you, dog. We'll smoke anything, Caldonia's.

You gotta be kidding me. So my dad, my dad and my mom got divorced. My dad lived in the- This is gonna be my anniversary gift to my wife. Do you know where the barn store is? Remember the barn store? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad lived in- The convenience store right across the street.

It's gone now. Yeah. But my dad lived in the apartment complex across the street from the barn store. I know exactly where that is. I mean, my dad and I would walk, this is from when I was like five to seven, we would walk from my dad's apartment to the barn store, grab some Tootsie Pop,

cross the street, my dad would get blackout at Caldonia's and then we'd walk back to the apartment. Dang, dude. I used to hang out at Caldonia's to the point that I almost beat the Castlevania that was there in the bar. They had the best chocolate milkshakes probably I've ever had to this day.

Yeah. That was like the first time I ever got like the giant tin. They had volleyball. They had sand volleyball. They would have full on tournaments. Yeah. And it ruled because when you were six years old, you could just go watch adults who were by the way, you thought they were just acting funny.

They were blackout drunk. Playing volleyball. And you get to play in the sand. And then the bike never gone like specific locations and intersections, but I'm so glad to know this. Yeah. There's a bike shop across the street from Caldonia's and all the bikers would come

and fucking drink at Caldonia's. I almost got killed in the parking lot because I ran, I was excited to play Castlevania and I ran and a car almost hit me. Jesus. And the guy fucking honked and like yelled. And then we go inside and I was playing Castlevania and I couldn't find my dad and I went

and my dad was getting drunk with the guy that was driving. Because my dad felt bad that he almost, that this guy was, so my dad bought him, they were doing shots and I went over and the guy was like, I almost killed you. And I remember being like, yeah, I'm just trying to get quarters from this guy. Right, exactly.

Okay. There's a lot going on here, sir. You guys were getting fucking black out and I'm just trying to go beat Dracula. I'll share one quick anecdote, I don't know when you got to do wrap it up. But my mom lived near there when she moved to Denver. Okay.

Along Leatsdale. And there was kind of like rural back then. Yeah, it wasn't very developed. There were farms and shit. Well, it was down by the Denver Dumb Friends League. Yeah. Wasn't built up at all. So my uncle came out and was staying with it for a while.

My uncle's kind of a fuck up. Not now, but he was for sure. Just a wild character. They were at the Piper Inn. He was getting hammered. Piper Inn rules and it still does. Great Wings, Chow Main. Yeah, Piper Inn fucking rules. Great Wings. I got black out there a couple times when I was in college. My uncle goes out to the parking lot for some reason to piss. I

don't know why. He's on a nice car. Lyle Alzato comes out of the fucking Piper Inn and it's like, what the fuck are you doing? Lyle Alzato, if you don fucking Piper Inn and it's like, what the fuck are you doing? Lyle Alzado, if you don't know, former Raider and Denver Bronco, the steroid story. Guy took like horse- Mentally unhinged.

Guy took horse steroids and his brain fucking rotted, but he was like as powerful as a rhino. And a type of NFL player who's be like, I'm gonna rip John Elway's head off. Your Lyle Alzado highlights go hard as fuck. That's another YouTube. Get your algorithm straight off this episode. And get Steve Atwater involved.

Anyway, he wanted to kick my uncle's ass and my uncle just bolted and outran him and dipped off into the hills. That's pretty fun though. I ran away from my Lila Zeta. I'm sure he was hammered and like just pissed on his car. Yeah, Lila Zeta almost killed me. I know.

Jesus. Could have all ended there. Yeah, that was like, do you know they just changed the name Go yeah, la la la Zeta almost killed me Yeah, that was like Do you know they just changed the name of the Denver Dumb Friends League? I just got a dog from the Denver Dumb Friends League. It's not called the Denver Dumb Friends League. What's it called? They just changed our Friends League. They yeah, they calling it that either. It's called Tardo's the TARD zone They go you guys call it hard zone You from dumb friends like that that Have you read the T-Line?

Look at the way society's going, bro. This moves units. Trump won, dude. This moves units. It's called the Tard Zone. Get in or get out. But they, someone just tagged me like three days ago on Instagram and they, to the post where they're like,

we've renamed it, like, it's like called like the Colorado chapter of caring or something My wife did the paperwork. I've been telling her but I got a dog Like still by the way anyone from Denver. Oh gee real Colorado heads though It's Denver Dumb Friends League for sure for sure. There's no lipstick on that pig. I gave her I One of my friends made me a shirt that said Denver Dumb Friends League and I was like dude It fucking rules got so many dogs and cats from there Yeah, and it's a great weird thing

just not have the context for Adam Cain Holland his new special is out on YouTube watch it right now called is it called I did comedy for 20 years and all I got was this special 20 years in comedy all I got was this lousy yeah don't get the lion's lair a Colfax fucking staple looks cool, it's different than a, it's cutaways, it's funny. First show I ever did in Colorado, Lion's Lair. Really? Cause of Troy Baxley.

That was the first open mic I started at, so that's the first place I performed ever, so same. Yeah, Baxley, I opened for him at Laughs in Tucson, and I'd never done comedy in Denver, and I came back and Baxley was like, I can get you up at this Lion's Lair show that I'm doing. It was a can like, I can get you up at this Lions Lair show that I'm doing. It was a can drive. I can get you up at this Lions Lair show.

It was a can drive at Thanksgiving. Okay. And I went and got drunk there at Lions Lair and fucking brought cans and did a set. Yeah. And you and Ben and Andrew, I mean, Los Comicos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Originally. Totally.

And then the Grawlicks were always so good to me. You were always cool to come do those shows, man. We loved having you. I'll tell you right now, it felt so fucking welcoming and awesome. Oh, good. You guys were always so cool, and I was always so stoked

before I started working at ComedyWorks or anything to do the Los Comicos show at the Orange Cat Studios, and then do Groliks at the Bug Theater, which still are fucking, those shows rock. Man, it was always fun having you because you'd come rip it up and like, rip it up. Yeah, I just fucking loved it So it was awesome having you on the podcast watch his special right now it's you're watching this on YouTube probably and if you're listening to the podcast go on YouTube watch Adam's special and

Go get a fucking dog from whatever they're calling the Denver Dumb Friends League and then go watch the mutton busting and you'll thank us What busting dude, I'm telling you right now Ellis Kate and Holland. Yeah, it And then go watch the mutton busting and you'll thank us for the algorithm. Mutton busting, dude. I'm telling you right now, Ellis Katenholland is gonna be the greatest mutton buster of all time. In the history of the sport. It's your destiny, child. You know how crazy it'd be to find a YouTube video?

Ellis is gonna be like 19 watching a podcast with you on it and he's gonna be like, what the fuck? And the guy goes, we gotta get a bigger sheep. Your boy's too good. we gotta get a bigger sheep. Your boy's too good. We gotta get a real horse.