Soder - 90: Predator Surplus with Aidan McCluskey | Soder Podcast | EP 88

Episode Date: July 15, 2025

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Wooo buddy! End of July, July 31st, my first time ever to Portland, Maine. I'm gonna be at the Empire Comedy Club July 31st, August 1st, and August 2nd. Virginia! I'm coming back! Funny Bone in Virginia Beach, Virginia. That is July 18th and 19th for shows, Dance Hunter dot com. Phoenix, Arizona, September 5th and 6th. Monsoon seasonal hit. It'll be nice and cooled down at night. So come on out to stand up live. September 5th and 6th for four shows, danceroda.com.

Go get your tickets, see you there. Los Angeles, September 25th, the United Theater. Wilmington, North Carolina! I haven't been back to Dead Crow Comedy Club in years. There's been some storms, there's been some floods, there's a new location. Well guess what, baby? In August, I will see you Wilmington

at the Dead Crow Comedy Club. I'm gonna be there August 14th, 15th, and 16th. Five shows, Dead Crow Comedy Club. What a great club. I'm very excited be there August 14th, 15th, and 16th. Five shows, Dead Crow Comedy Club. What a great club. I'm very excited to come back. Dancer.com for tickets. I don't know why people think benefit shows are good places for comedy.

It's a horrible idea. It just is a horrible idea. It's like, I don't know. I even tried several times I was like are do you are you sure? Yeah. Like please. You push back. Yeah. When you get booked a lot of people don't know when you get booked on a comedy show these people will reach out and the people that are reaching out nine times out of ten are fans. They like what you do. There's a reason they're reaching out so you can fail.

They're reaching out because they think it's gonna work. You know it's gonna fail if you've done it enough. I did a, there was like a benefit and they were like, can you do this benefit? It's private benefit. Lot of money. And I was like, I don't think so. I don't think so.

But it was in the city. So it's right after the bonfire. This is like five. This was before Covid. And they were like, just come do this benefit. It's you know, my manager is like, it's easy. Yes, in and out. You're kind of like, dude, this is what I've been doing all these shitty gigs for. Is like, just pop in and make.

And they said it'll be good. And I remember leaving my house going like, I'm gonna bring a button down, just in case. I'm gonna bring a button down shirt just in case. And I had this red Denver Nuggets shirt on and I like show up and it's a fucking gala. Like a black tie event. It's tuxedos and fucking ball gowns. And I'm like, what's this for?

And they're like, for the cancer wing at some hospital. And I'm like, what's this for? And they're like, for the cancer wing at some hospital. And I was like, what's up? And they're like, so it's two more acts than you. And there was like a Q and A, very boring thing. The act before me were three doctors, cancer doctors, wailing on guitars. Really? Just like,

dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee. He's like, jeez. There's like a little girl with a scar going down her head going like that's the guy that saved my life. I wonder if he got in there and made her play guitar. He's like oh watch this guy's like hot wire. He's like put it in her hands. What do you guys want? Purple haze? It's playing. Blane her brain. Duh duh duh. You got, you're sick, Richard. You're sick. He goes, listen, this lady wants to live, but does she want to live?

You want to talk about sick. She wakes up. He's like, I left you with a little skill. I put something in there when you were asleep. She's like, weeeee. Yeah, but dude, they fucking rocked and then brought me out and I bombed for like, for like for like

flop sweat. Yeah. Like hard. How long did you have to do? 30? I think I did 27. Leaving that place and having that cold air hit you and you're like, but you get, I mean before, by the way, I'm getting better at introducing my guests.

Aidan McCluskey, hilarious stand-up comedian. You don't know him, but you should know him. Lives in Minnesota, he was in town. I said, come do the podcast. Yeah, thank you for having me. Been on the road together. He's also, you might have seen him with Nick Mullen and other hilarious comics.

He does, you look perfectly castable for the Larry Bird story. You think so? Yeah, dude. Anyone that's seeing that now? But young, the adventures of young Larry Bird, just have you balling out on black dudes in Indiana and the fucking-

Talking shit, yeah. In the early 70s, and you're like, uh-oh. I would love that. It would have to be like, they'd shoot it like the Terminator though. They'd have to like put the camera. Yeah, oh, we do old Hollywood effects Yeah, absolutely where they were they would pan back and go you want to know how we did that shot?

He's not six foot five and you go not at all no, but he plays it all the be funnier if you were shorter Oh, if we did like a parody of the life of Larry Bird, we might develop this so it's trademarked but Like it's just all Accurately height everybody else. Yeah, and then me five five eight five eight Yeah, but coming in and balling over to it But like we do the thing like like air bud where we make it look like you like you just soaring Do completely and out of pocket, you know like the Chuck Norris jokes they used to do

where they were like, the boogie man is where Chuck Norris is hiding under his bed. We do that with like tall tales of Larry Bird. And it's, but it's you. Yeah, I would love that. But you just play and then you just, it's like these insane, you know, like, you know Larry Bird stopped a river from flooding and it's just you in the middle of a river

stopping it like like Paul Bunyan tales Think this could work. I would be down for that. I know a lady at Fox. I'm just saying. The TikTok highlights they do of him. Where it would be like an overlay of him talking with darunarunarunu He's like, I don't know. I just Larry Bird highlights are If you're a if you're a pale white dude and wanna get worked up in your car, but you wanna go get fucking hyped for the second half of your day,

in your break at work, take a one hitter and just dial up Larry Bird highlights on YouTube. Specifically like a three doors down edit one. Pfft, oh my God. Yeah, that'll get you fucking ripped up. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Your company is gonna have to fix some holes

in the drywall. Fucking A. You're coming in fired up. You're coming in on diesel fuel. Coming out of the stall. Yeah, bam. Fuck you, Pam. She's like, I asked him, he shut the fuck up,

Larry Byrd was the man. Yeah, dude. The way he talked shit was so funny. That's what I loved in the last dance, the Jordan highlights where he's like, fuck you motherfucker. Like the way they talk to each other, you're like great. That's so cool.

Yeah, he's the man. Larry Bird, every story about him. Doesn't he like, he would tell him where he's gonna go. And he's like, you can't do anything about it. There's a story, there's like a ton of those stories about him just like telling people he's gonna score on him, which is so mean if you're a professional athlete. If I was just that guy, you know, I'm not Larry Bird,

so I'm just like the guy that's like, shut up. You know, he's like, hi man, I just scored seven, I'm gonna score another three on you, and you go, my wife's in the stands. Please dude, I brought my, my brother brought his kid. My brother's sick. Yeah. This might be I brought my, my brother brought his kid. My brother's sick. Yeah. This might be the last time he sees me, just stop.

There's one where, there's a great one where he like pulls up to shoot, he fakes a three and the guy goes by and he goes, ba ba birdie. And he just fucking slams it like, look at the bird, it was a man. So cool. Also heard himself in that Bird vs. Magic documentary, he heard himself paving his mom's driveway.

So he injured himself. Yeah. Doing something. Just extracurricular for his mom. Just being a good dude. Yeah. On a hard task for your loving mother. And it ends your NBA career.

I mean, we could, I'm surprised you haven't been approached by police to be the kid in the sting for a pedophile. I don't know how that hasn't happened. How does the local police knock on, hey, we know you do some stage work. Yeah. We know you're comfortable in front of an audience.

I would love to do that. I did apply a while ago to be a crisis actor for police. Okay. Yeah, but never heard back. What would that entail? So like they would give me a script of like, oh, I'm feeling suicidal or I'm feeling this or that.

And I would have to like act it out. And then the cops would come and have to try and defuse the situation. So you're basically like an exhibition game. They bring you in to be like, absolutely. So they're like, all right, smoke this meth. Yeah. Rodriguez, you're up. And you're like, calm down, sir.

Calm down, sir. Yeah, that're up! And you're like, ha, ha. And he's like, calm down, sir. Calm down, sir. Yeah, that's fun as fuck. You would be great though, if some fucking pedophiles, like, I'd love to meet you. And you're like, yeah, why don't you meet me, fucking weirdo. I would love to do something like that.

Do you watch Pred Hunters? I mean, those things are so popular now. It's like, it's too much. Some of it is like- We need another turn. Yeah. Now we need the pedophiles hunting the pedophile hunters I feel like that's gonna have I mean I watched one where the predator beat the shit out of a guy I mean that is a guy with those those men are Cornered. Yeah, a lot of times they get him in a target. Just ordered in the sports section

The guy has to confront why he wants to fuck kids in aisle seven. He's like, ah, they're like, I mean, Hanson's the God. Yeah, yeah, Hanson is the guy, but- Chris Hanson begot all your favorite predator hunters. Yeah, he did. I mean, they had to stop though, because that DA shot himself in his house.

I mean, when they went to go. Yeah, you get caught. It's you're running someone up against a cliff. It's the only thing that no one can rebound from. No, like, no. OJ was pretty cool before he died. He was back and like, he murdered his fucking wife and he was like, kind of okay. They're even talking about getting Scott Peterson out. Are they actually? Yeah. Why? I don't know, you can look that,

look it up in a second, but Scott Peterson, I think, they're like, thinking there's a way he might get out of prison. No shit. Yeah, and that dude cut his wife's head, legs arms off and put her torso pregnant torso and anchored it to the bottom of a lake. Just kind of pretended like I don't know where she went. It's always over new pussy too. These guys get cagey and they do some crazy shit for new pussy. That guy in Colorado that murdered his wife and kids all for

new pussy. Which one was that? There was a documentary about that. Where they like went into the thing. Oil barrels. It was like a it might have been a water treatment facility. And he like got they were found. I don't know. But you're like, yeah, that's how crazy men get over new pussy. Well, and then it's the ladies that they're doing it for. They're like, I never asked him to do that. You're crying. I never asked him to do that

Your hair saying I'm gonna murder this bitch And you were just squeegeeing on him But probably for months she was like all you need to do is get rid of them and we can live together I or they do the thing when they go if it just wasn't for blank. Yes, you and I would be together Everything would be perfect. Yeah. What he doesn't realize is, even if it worked out, best case scenario, you get away with the murder.

You and that woman are gonna reach the same point. Absolutely. You're gonna hit a point with her where you're like, I gotta kill, I gotta put this bitch in the water treatment. Like, hey, you wanna go to the water treatment facility? She goes, I gotta put this bitch in the water treatment facility. He's like, hey, you want to go to the water treatment facility? She goes, I know that move. He's like, oh, I'm a rascal. I murdered my family for you.

Well, that says just here, you want a new trial. You want a new trial. They're like, you got attacked in prison. Oh, yeah, because some prisoners are good dudes. Yeah, some prisoners are in there for fucked up reasons. But they turn out. Did you ever see the video of the one guy who like beat the shit out of his pedophile roommate? He was like, I kept telling him

I didn't want to be in a room with him. I kept telling him that. And they didn't move him. So he like damn near sawed his head off with like shoelaces. And then he was like, I'll do it again. Yeah, he goes, that was fun. Yeah. All yeah we won't put him in the room with him but if you're a pedophile you're like that's the ultimate no one wants to sit at your lunch table. He's like no one likes me. He's like you're a fucking pedophile dude and he's like I know. speaking of that I got this citizen app

It's really like I don't think that's a good idea It's so fucked up because they'll be like they'll send me notifications and be like Well, there's a predator 500 feet from you. You got to pay for more You want to see what he looks like? There's a predator 12 feet away from you He's in the, there's a predator 12 feet away from you. It's like, he's already got me signatures on me. Oh shit, there's a predator right here. Yeah. Yeah.

Dude, that's, I don't need that citizen app. I'm already, I live in New York. My shit will be like, he, he, he, he. It's been going off a lot since I've been here, but the, it really has. I looked and it'll only show you like crime icons that have happened within the last really has. I looked and it'll only show you like crime icons that have happened. Oh, for the last 24 hours.

Yeah. And I just was sitting around and got a notification. I zoomed out and it was just all around me. I was like, I'm going to see if crime. We're an outbreak. Yeah. Yeah, that is pretty wild. The Citizen app is sometimes you're not supposed to see things. No, I don't want to know that's happening. It is really like, oh, time to talk Zoc Doc.

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slash soda That's how I feel sometimes with technology where I'm just like we shouldn't be knowing that because we're too sensitive to be like, like you walk around like that. Like people that just walk around on the internet like, Oh yeah. Motherfucker.

I didn't get off Twitter because of that. Yeah. Cause it's like all you see are fights and people screaming at each other. And what's weird is it's like, it is the cake factory. Cause you go, sometimes it's delicious just to dive in and read some shit. Yeah, and then you go, but this is unhealthy and this is killing me Yeah, I can't eat all this cake. I've said it before this was the first

Football season I didn't have Twitter like I didn't we post on Twitter, but I don't use it and it was fucking Sweet. Yeah, you know me times I punched this couch because a dude's on Twitter when I'm watching the Niners game. Oh, what's up pussy? You're not your son. And I'm like, well, I think I caught that at third time. They want to fuck it up. And you know, obviously the problem is me.

Yeah. But I don't need the I don't need someone like my fuse. Yeah. And that's why Katie wears her boom boom helmet. What's the. She wears her boom boom helmet. What's the boom? I'm just kidding. She wears her tossing vest. In case the Niners are down double digits. Yeah, it's like I don't need, I already know I'm a fucking idiot and I don't, but like

you get on that Citizen app and you're like, there's a pedophile four floors below. I knew there was a pedophile four floors below me. It was stopping me from taking a mini bat just down there and being like, bing bong, he's like hello, you're like, pa, pa, predator hunt, you just yell that out. It's a buck 99 a month, there's a lot of no. Which is so fucked up, because I will get notifications

and my girlfriend's like back at home and it's like, here's a predator. She goes, oh dude, there's a rapist under your bed. You go, what? And I'm like, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, has it prevented crime? I don't know.

Do they point out that these apps ever, cause I mean, I'm sure that's, has to be the original intent. I don't really know what it's supposed to do. All it does is it's like, it'll show you like in Minneapolis, most recently, it'll like, I was coming home, there was a protest going on. And then right when I got home, an

accident happened at the protest. So then if people have the citizen app, they'll start live streaming it. You can like watch the live stream not helping of the crime. No, it's not really helping help at all. Stream. Yeah. But the streams are fun. Because it's usually like the nosiest people and they're like, hell no. Look at this. Look how many. That's great. Yeah. It might be worth it. The dollar 99 might be worth it for the streams. Yeah. Oh, you can get that for free. They really only pay while the predators they're like, there's a sex criminal near

you pay me a buck 99 and they'll show you. Yeah. They premium content is pedophilia. Yeah. To know where they are and what they look like. You want to pred pass. They'll show you like a dollar 99. See where all these sick fucks are lurking. That is wild.

It's like a Tinder gold because it'll show you like a blurry image of what they kind of look like. And they're like buck 99. You get to see, give me buck 99. You get to see. Huh? Give me a dollar. 99. You want to see where this perverts rest in his head? This is what you want. You want to know? Are you looking at it? Oh yeah. Well, we might have to write this off as a show expense. Oh yeah.

Go pred hunting. I mean, you think that ain't going to push tickets. Me busting credit pedophiles and then feeling bad for them. Going like re-umelested and they're like, yeah, I'm like push tickets, me busting pedophiles, and then feeling bad for them, going like, were you molested? And they're like, yeah, I'm like, ah, that's usually what it is. And they're like, my uncle used to face fuck me in the closet while my dad was watching the bears, and I'm like, ah.

I'd be the only pedophile hunter. They would feel bad enough to give up, and I go, really? Here's 20 bucks, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude, I don't know. Can I get you a ticket to Thailand? Yeah, just don't be doing it here. I don't know. Can I get you a ticket to Thailand or? Just don't be doing it. Something to get the venom out of your system.

Cause you talk to these guys and you're like all these guys, the big Jay watches them. And so I used to get hot. We were on the bonfire. We watched a lot, but also at his house, it's very fun to watch with big Jay because big Jay knows like certain moments. He can break it down. The way John Gruden breaks down football film, Big J can break down predator hunts. It's fantastic. He could like break it like now watch this because this guy's retarded. Now, this guy doesn't know he's a pedophile. He just kind of thinks he's talking to a friend and then he'll show you. You're like, oh, it's.

I saw that. The A icon, they brought him out. Celebrities and gambling companies getting involved in predator hunting is one of the final stages of Rome. Yeah. If you did not think that Rome is burning, the final step is when gambling companies and fringe pop stars start going along for the hunts.

I bet we're gonna catch a pedophile. We'll see over under he's retarded. Yeah. Now hit that, smash that, smash that parlay line if you think he's got a child on him, a weapon on him. Condoms. Condoms. Zima.

Yeah. Bust out some, no, now they're just seltzers probably. Yeah, like a high noon. Yeah, just a couple high noons with my child lover. Dude, the ones I like are dads against predators. They travel the country. Dude, I'm down with dads against predators, especially if a kid got clipped.

Yeah. Like if your kid got clipped and that's on you, like a detective, where you're just drinking out of a gym beam flask looking out of a motel gone i was on a business trip and my kid got fucked by the neighbor now i go around the country just demolishing child molesters i'm fucking down with that send me a link for that because i get that the vengeance predator hunters oh yeah but yeah but your kid has to get clipped i'm not talking about a dad that just like imagines his kid got clipped

I'm talking about for real You're passionate cuz it fucking with that I don't need no studio gangster coming out here going after pedophiles I want a guy that it's it's like it it means something. Oh yeah, and they're like. And I hate to say this, preferably I like the child to be dead, cause that's how you make more Dracula's. With the John Walsh thing. What's that? Like a John Walsh thing, yeah.

I was so on board with John Walsh. Kid got taken, America's most wanted, hit me with it. I wanna find out what these motherfuckers are. But when you find out it's just a dad who is like, I'm a girl dad, you're like, shut the fuck up. You got three alive girls and they're all safe. And safe and you're away from them right now. You're actively leaving them at home to go beat up predators in a different

state. Third rule of hunting. You just given up your nest. Now all your chicks are unprotected. Cause you're out here being a big dog. Now, if one of them already got clipped and you were out there proving a point to the other two, like, subscribe. I'm fucking Patreon.

There was one dude that I saw, it was very like flash in the pan. He had to get taken down real fast, but he like went on the pedophile registry and trained, sort of like a Batman type character where I followed the timeline. Was this just a regular guy? Yeah.

So he had no, nothing happened to him and then his parents didn't get killed. He might have gotten molested as a kid. Cause don't forget, if he gets molested, also that's it, I want to amend my statement. If you yourself were molested and a kid. Don't forget, if you get some molested as a kid, also that's it. I want to amend my statement. If you yourself were molested and a parent. You become like a. Okay.

Your kid doesn't got to get clipped if you were clipped. Yes. Somebody. Just Batman becoming Batman without his parents getting murdered is just a so it's just a psychopath. It's just barren. He's just a rich person beating up poor kids. Poor people.

Yeah. Fucking them up. I mean breaking bones. So, but this guy... Yeah, so I went along his timeline and Just like months leading up to it. I can't remember what his name is He got taken down very fast, but he would like bulk up He was doing kickboxing great and then he went on the pedophile registry and was like I'm gonna find them and He went on the registry and he would break into these guys houses, tie them up,

steal all their money and then beat the shit out of them, post all of it online and then leave them tied up in their homes and like run their bank accounts dry and everything. I saw like two or three videos of it and then it was scrubbed from the internet. It was like gone. Yeah, cause that's just robbery. Yeah, but it was like violent. Yeah, now. He was fucking them up. Let me put my promoter hat on here. Yeah.

I think you get like, everyone's obsessed right now. I don't know when this episode is gonna come out, but everyone right now is obsessed with talking about a hundred people versus gorilla. Yeah. If you've ever had a regular job, you've had this conversation before. The internet getting a hold of it now

and people acting like this is new shit. By the way, my friend from high school literally texted me, remember when we were high on your back patio and we did a polar bear versus 100 men? We did grizzly, me and my friends. Polar bear is harder, because polar bear they have those claws,

because they can run up to, I think it's like 30, look this up, I think polar bears can run up to 30 miles per hour on ice holy shit it's a truck yeah that is small truck it's an s10 and I was putting my 100 guys up I think it's that so bring you a little pussy ass gorilla Klondike oh dude polar bear versus gorilla yeah I would almost if the gorilla gets to the neck Yeah, I don't know what their fingernail situation like their girls. They have like they've rounded. They don't have claws They have like just rounded nails Yeah, just a fucking mitt and they could slam into that break the polar bears ribs and shit

But that polar bear with those claws and that fucking mouth on you. Yeah, it grabs you it's digging flesh And I mean did you look it up? 25 miles an hour. Dude, a polar bear coming on ice. 25 miles an hour at you. Going school zone speed. Running right at you. That does sound like a cool way of saying that.

I'm going school zone on this bitch. 25 miles an hour. But why don't we just mix worlds and either do a hundred pedophiles versus polar bear. Yeah. Or take one of these pedophile hunters. You know how that, cause the other one, Ron and Fez did it perfectly where they did how many

like five-year-olds do you think you could take out in a fight like you versus 105 year olds? It's kind of like that. I don't know if I could take it out. It's the same concept, but we take this guy that trained and robbed all these pedophiles. I'm sure there's like 20 pedophiles that can handle themselves.

Against this guy. I'm guessing if you're out there trying to fuck kids, some of you can fight. Because if you get get caught you're gonna fight your way out of that Oh, absolutely like your way out. Yeah, I didn't caught fought his way out of a dollar tree. That's what I'm saying a target. Maybe an idiot out of touch with reality that guy's at a fucking McFruigles That guy's at a fucking McFruigles. Yeah, did you get pinned in by a dollar garden furniture? And the guy's going like, that's your phone. You got that. Yeah.

But you take like the 10 best pedophile fighters, pedophiles that are tough versus this guy. I think this guy takes it. This guy was huge. And guess what? Put it on pay-per-view Yeah, I'm down. I mean that's really Roman Coliseum Don't act like we're not there. You know, I might as well be the one to capitalize on it I feel like the guy's going we should toss lions into the Coliseum. Yeah, that's a good idea

And I go, oh, maybe they eat the Catholics Sorry, dude, I'm a little drunk. I was drinking some day wine. I was thinking, I was over at the vomitorium after the orgy and I was wondering like, if I could feed these guys the lions. You just got like a lamb tummy full of wine. I go, oh, he's holding a lamb stomach.

It's splashing down my face. Fucking throw some lions in that bitch. It's like all around you, like Kool-Aid rings. So discerous, your hammer. I'm like, ah. I'm naked under this toe. Yeah, but I'm surprised you haven't been hired as a... I would do it in a heartbeat.

You would? Yeah. You wouldn't be nervous? I mean, I would for sure be nervous. I mean, you're not gonna get fucked. No. You're a get fucked. No. You're a grown man. Right. You could fight out of that.

Maybe. Some of those guys pulled up though, like to catch a predator, it's like, we found a gun in his glove compartment. And like, it's like, oh man, some of these guys aren't playing around. Especially these days with what they know online. If you're risking it nowadays,

you gotta become prepared. You need ample availability of MMA training? Yeah. Yeah. Just one of these perverts does a year at Tiger Schultz. He's a problem for most, he's a problem for at least a couple local police officers. Definitely. And hey, back to blue. I love what I'm just saying. It might be a real motherfucking problem because they're motivated perverts. Oh, yeah. And like you said, that's it.

Yeah. You get caught doing that. Life is fucking over. You may as well go. By the way, it's not only done. You can't recoup with your family. No. Your family's like, get the fuck out of here.

You're not like, it's not like if you're drunk and you're like, oh, I just got some pussy on the road. You know? No. Cause your family's like, get the fuck out of here. You're not like, it's not like if you're drunk and you're like, oh, I just got some pussy on the road. You know, like, I was drunk. She's like, we've been fighting, I got some pussy. If you're like, yeah, I drove to Iowa to fuck this 13 year old. Yeah, I had about six hours to think about it. Turns out it was a cop.

Yeah. Yeah, they always drive such long distances. I don't understand that. It's like, yeah, I drove like six hours. This is what I've been talking to her for about two weeks now. Big Jay used to have one of my favorite jokes about, I think it's on his comedy Central Presents about driving cost country for pussy, but that's why you should jerk off. Cause he's like, I'll drive to Dallas for some pussy jerks off.

He's like, what am I doing? He's like, what am I doing? He's like, but then my balls fill back up and you're like, so I'm driving. It's just fucking crisscrossed the country. But that makes me think of like if Myrtle get out of the trash, you

sick bitch. Now, she's just under the desk, but she loves homeless people. She just comes out here and she's very sweet. Very sweet talk. But I feel like if you're driving this distance to do something that illegal.

I don't know. You have to have cum coming out of your fucking ears. You better be, you better be for real. Yeah. You better be so full of it. Yeah. Someone hugs you and just cum comes out of your nostrils. Sorry, I got a real.

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Summer's here, dress like it with Chubby. Oh, Vitaly, yeah. Oh, you know Vitaly. That's so funny. We didn't even say the name and fucking Aiden knew exactly who it was. Aiden was like, Vitaly? I saw that.

Vitaly Zydrowski, Filipino prison. Yeah. He's a Russian YouTuber. Hey Myrtle, Filipino prison. Yeah. He's a Russian YouTuber. Hey Myrtle, you want up here? Hi. You wanna come up here? Yeah, dude. Myrtle's on the pod.

Hello. Okay, she takes over. She's pedophile hunting. You're a pedophile, dude. I'm a, she's set of bed bugs. I tried to go after pedophiles. In dog years, I think you're assaulting me. Yeah, dude.

You're 35. Lay down. Lay down, fat think you're assaulting me. Yeah, dude. You're 35. Let down. Don't fatso. Hey, they don't. Myrtle. She's laying down on Aiden. I'm very sorry about this. You're good. This is where it

would be. Yeah, broken. Well, he went to like he was doing a prank where they impersonated Filipino police officers He stole a motorcycle in the Philippines. Yeah, and He's facing up to 24 years in prison. Yeah each Is each counts 12 years? Yeah, and they are refusing to extradite him. Yeah, including attempting to kiss. Wait. Oh

he did some I including attempting to kiss, wait. Oh, he did some, I guess he was like, go, yeah. This guy's kind of extreme case. I think he was. He was the one that brought Akon to the park. Yeah. Oh. That phone call's gotta be so sleazy. What if I told you, Akon.

Akon wants to come and fucking bust some pedophiles with you. He's like, oh, that's crazy. Akon, I haven't heard, what's he been through? Remember when he tossed that guy off stage? Akon, no, I haven't seen that. You've never seen that clip? No.

Can you dial it up, pimp? It is awesome. He tossed it, dude, Akon used to do wild shit on stage. Really? Yeah, he was like, kind of awesome. If you go back and look at it, he was like Kenny Powers of fucking- That's it. His brother go back and look at it, you just like he was like Kenny Powers of fucking that's his brother used to

His twin brother his brother that looks like him would pretend to be him and do concerts and then just keep all the money Yeah, dude, there it is Convict music dude He fucking tosses the guy will put it in here. Well, I didn't see oh wait. I have seen this I didn't know this so you can. Oh wait, I have seen this. I didn't know this was Akon. Oh. Oh. He lifts him on stage like, come on up brother.

He's like, call up me. He's like, hey guess what? You're going to fly now. Why are you gay? Why are you gay? It's the funniest thing in the world. Damn dude, he really just tosses him. By the way, kind of got like WWF.

Yeah, he scoops him under. Comes up, puts him up in a rack. Damn, dude. That's solid. That's a solid toss. I'm not saying NXT should call up Akon, but I'm not saying they shouldn't. Just have a little bit.

Give them a break. Give them a break, dude. Put the boy in the ring. Put him in the squared circle. Let him fucking run the ropes. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, you're still out in St. Paul. You live like in St. Paul.

So what I love about Aidan is I was explaining this to Wilsol Vince. It's like how people talk about being white trash. And then I'm like Aidan makes me feel like a studio gangster because you got stories where I'm like, holy shit. Yeah. Did you ever live in a trailer park? No, I didn't grow in grow up in a trailer park. I grew up like pretty far out in the country. I had friends though that I ended up meeting in high school that grew up in the trailer park in Ettrick. Wild boys. Oh yeah.

You go to a... It's just the only time I've really spent time in a trailer park was my stepdad's dad lived in one in Las Vegas. We spent like all of Thanksgiving, but it was like not a bad one. Yeah. Does that make sense? Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. So it's kind of like a little house.

And if it's in like a quiet area. Yeah. It's like a nice little community. Everyone thinks trailer park, but the ones that get cracking. Oh, they really pop off though. My dad took me to one in Lake County. Yeah. I forget where it is.

I think it's kind of by Blue Lakes if you live up by there. But we went and I was like, I felt like a giant pussy. Coming from the suburbs, I was like, oh. You roll up and they got the shack high tops with the and ones below the knees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just the fake grass that comes out as like the doormat. And I just remember being like,

I remember specifically eating dinner very late and being a pussy about it, because I was 12. I remember being like, are we gonna eat soon? And my mom, at my mom's house, eat at like seven o'clock every night. My dad, him and his friends were just hammered.

It was like 11.30 and he's like, yeah, his girlfriend was cooking a stove top, or no, a hamburger helper with noodles. And I was like, yeah, all right. And then it was just crazy salted. That's all I remember. Take a bite. You like, God damn. Oh, just pounded. Fuck it. I can't drink grape juice because of that trip because that's all they had like Fago or straight up great. It wasn't Welch's. Oh, okay, whatever it was, but I remember just like the the and it wasn't cold It was oh, yeah, they got the two-liter out in the garage. Yeah, so I just remember drinking warm

That's what I think of what I think of trailer parks the taste of salty hamburger helper and warm grape juice And I like yeah, I was just so mad about it But then I remember feeling like a bitch being like stop complaining this fucking you got to me You know what I mean? At least you don't live here Living this place I never spent a ton it I had friends that lived in trailers and stuff like that But most of the time it was always just spent like ranch style homes. Yeah, you know single-level. Yeah single-level Basement always unfinished always. Yeah, always very scary and it's got like several deer mounts

Stuff like that. Yeah, I was lucky that I I mean like I Hope the suburbs continue to be a thing in America Because yeah, because they're just such a great place to fucking grow up Like it's weird when I moved here and I saw kids that live rural, I think I understood a lot more than like city kids. Like big city kids, you're like, you guys live, even Pimp grew up in Queens, that's a different pace. Cause it's still, there's just so many people around you

that you're just like, it changes the way that you grow up. Like I couldn't imagine, when I see kids going to school on the subway, I'm like, what a little fucking adult. No, I was kind of blown away when I had, like one of those children like approached me and they're like, chocolate, chocolate? I'm like, where is your mom?

She's on the back of the train, Myrtle. Hey, those, I hear hear you hear stories about that. Like, um, people say like the cartel kidnapped. That's what I always hear. Like the cartels making them do that. Oh, making them sell chocolate. Yeah. And then they just take all the money like the parents get. There was a story, a news story I read about a group of people in New Jersey that basically would drug their kids and just like give them to other people

in the community so that they would go. Yeah. Where they would like be in the subway. You just like go down the subway and see a lady holding a sleeping little girl. And of course you're like, holy shit, here's a dollar. And I heard that I just take all that. So that's what sucks about modern society is you learn about that shit. It's almost as bad as knowing there's pedophiles everywhere. Cause you're like, I can't even give money, being like, I'm trying to help.

Yeah. Like, you genuinely want to help. And then you're like, but is this just a Ponzi scheme of a fucking cartel? That's insane. Is this dollar going to a gold machine gun for a guy in the Sonola cartel? Pretty cool.

Yeah, it is pretty cool. He goes, they sell, he's showing it to his friends. He goes, they sell 100 grand candy bars. New York City, I buy this. That's skittle money. Tropical, we don't sell the red ones. That's how you get pinged. But it really does make me feel like the internet

gives us too much information that it's hard for us to be good people when you have all the stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, you'll see a situation play out online and you're like oh there's a good and a bad and then they do research behind everybody that was in the video and you're like yeah okay yeah I guess it's a very complex situation and I don't know how to feel anymore it's I don't yeah it's like I think the first taste of that was Michael Jackson

he just made like the most incredible music. And everyone was like, you enjoy that? I heard he's fucking kids. And you're like, can you not? Yeah. Can you not? It's like when I find out like, when you read a biography, there's inevitably a part where they tell you something

you don't want to know about that person. Where you're like, ah, god damn it, he hit his first wife. Yeah. And you're like, ah. You know, but they're like, they're like writing a biography. So they're like, they did get physical in their marriage. And you're like, I know what that means. Yeah. It, I don't know how I feel about a lot of, I don't want to know that about my idols. You meet people or you hear more and you're like, okay, fine. I guess everybody's a pedophile. I can't watch TV anymore everybody's just god damn it everybody's a drug addict or an egomaniac yeah I'm sorry that I liked the thing you made

but I also think that's important because we're like so far down the hole in a celebrity culture yeah where they're like literally showing up on pedophile hunter things or pushing gambling or like pushing all this like I don't need to see another app commercial with actors I used to respect They're gonna make like pacino be like, oh, oh, I love this gambling app mint mobile We need it. Oh royal kingdom. You don't even need the internet. And you're like Myrtle, stop eating trash dude. Myrtle, come here. Stop eating trash. You're very similar to your father.

You just want to eat trash. Go in here. You're putting her in the box, five minutes. And for those of you fucking refs at home, you have no idea that her face was just in Katie's trash can under her bed. And she's proud of it. The bitch is proud of it. Yeah, her tail was wagging the whole time. She was eating. Also was ripping, the first part of the podcast, she was ripping cotton out of her toy. Oh, is that what the noise was? So that definitely means she was not enjoying

our take on pedophiles. We always read the podcast. She's like, talk about the business. You're gonna get demonetized. She goes, talk. Break the fourth wall on comedy. Not enough comedians are talking about comedy. Stop trying to be funny.

And Myrtle's got good notes. I don't ever blame her for it. Yeah, dude, I don't know. I feel like this celebrity culture worship shit needs to end. And I understand that mean that I probably will only get to do stand upup and I'm fine with that. Yeah.

You know, maybe we only need small doses of people. Yeah, I can see that. I don't know. Like you see on, it's so weird that it's like a lot of their social media is just them. Like when you're talking about reading 49ers comments to you, people fire it out and they have just access to be like them approaching you and being like, I fucking hate you. Yeah. People fire it out and they have just access to be like them approaching you and being like I fucking hate you.

Dude, Shane and I, like one of the first times we were ever hanging out we were playing Madden together and I made this joke, but I always think of this joke was I threw like three picks with a team. I think I was Cam Newton in the Panthers and I threw three picks and I was just like mad and I threw the remote On the hotel bed and I was like, I'm gonna go tweet the n-word at cam Newton Shane goes I know you're joking but for real people do that. Oh, yeah I know That's why I make her fun of it because it's crazy that they're just like but I saw and I'll continue to reference this because it made

Me think of the anger towards celebrities so much different or even public figures different was this guy on Reddit was just like, listen, I fucking hate my job. My wife is a bitch and my kids are mean and they're fucking they don't listen to me. I love going into a comment section and telling a comic he's not funny and that he sucks It just lets me get the venom out so i'm not beating my family and you go I'm okay with that. Yeah, i'll take one if I found out that that was stopping pedophilia It's like I want to fuck kids, but instead i'm gonna tell dan soder stop saying that's funny when someone says something There you go. I'll take that. Yeah, that's honestly it's a good note. Yeah Appreciate you watching the shit.

Don't fuck kids. That's my podcast. Thanks for listening. Don't fuck children or we'll hunt you. Aiden and I are putting together a super team. Dude, that would be like assembling the Delta Force. Me and you and then we go by Mullins house. We're like, no, we're putting the team together.

He's, he's soldering something. I'm in big J on his farm I would love that I'd be the decoy oh yeah that team dude if we put together an a team of pedophile hunters yeah now that's the content you want celebrities hunting pedophile absolutely that'd be on the icon one went nuts but that's that's what I mean stop like if you if you get in trouble as a celebrity Immediately pivot to pedophile hunting. Yeah, cuz you're the good person categorically That's the only thing where that's true good and evil that is it is black and white Yeah, it is there is the the pedophile is needs to be hunted. Mm-hmm, and you are the golden knight.

Absolutely. So you get caught, you know, in a salacious scandal. Your first thing, your PR person ain't worth shit. The first thing they know goes, let's go to Ohio, hunt some pedophiles. Let's activate that Citizen app. Look who's back when we're talking about the Citizen app. Old fat Myrtles sniffing around for kid pussy. I'd be pretty sick if Shannon Sharp got into it.

It's like, oh so you think he was gonna fuck kids? That's so funny. Did you think he was gonna fuck kids? Shannon? Shannon? Former Titan? Shannon Sharp? I don't want to shake your hand. You was fucking kids. Was these your messages? He reads them like Chris Hansen. I can't wait to suck your penis. Is that you Broncos fan 72? And he goes, that is me, Shannon Sharpe. Having celebrities that pedophiles are fans of,

hunt them is the best we're gonna do. Cause I feel like they would just be so pumped. They would think they're running into them. They'd be like, no shit. Shana Sharpe goes, that's right. You were there when I caught my league leading 110 receptions, Ethan. He goes, I am.

Now you also were talking to a boy named Neil online. He goes, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, and also if they're ex-NFL players, how fun is the chase? Oh, yeah. Because if a guy gets away, you almost go, send his tape. Perfect, yeah. Send his tape to some people.

You guys got to see this guy's shuttle. You can't do a shuttle run, but you accuse him of pedophilia? He choked me up. Guy runs for 1,500 yards in the NFL because every game they go, you know he's a pedophile. He's like, don't touch me. I'm sorry, I thought she was 16.

That's legal in some states. They would think that's just the best day ever. They would be like, I got to meet Shannon Sharp. Ran away from him. Yeah. And I found out that that girl wasn't real. So there's a nice conclusion there. I knew she was fake.

My face is everywhere now, but the internet doesn't last. I can never go to a family reunion. I'll never have a family holiday again. Yeah, dude, I don't last. I can never go to a family reunion. I'll never have a family holiday again. Yeah, dude, I don't know. I think this is why, we're in like the most interesting time to live. Yeah, it's kind of scary. Because all this shit is just like, everything's,

it was like watching tectonic plates just collide, which everything is smashing into each other. But we appreciate you watching this. Yeah. Right? Well, shit on all other content, but not the stuff that I need to keep me fit. No, I absolutely understand it. There's nothing worse than Myrtle, you're about to break a camera.

She's just sliding under our main shots about just a year ago. Come on, come on. Can't do the camera go forward. Cause my fat dog out here stretching her back under a fucking tripod. our main shots about just the humans watching go come, come, come, come, and just the camera go forward. Cause my fat dog's out here stretching her back under a fucking tripod. She gets territorial. That's why we lock her up everyone.

I thought she was going to do good. I was like, we'll leave the door open. Yeah. She's been pretty nice. You and your girlfriend have a dog? We have a cat. That's the best way. You know what I'm really into right now? Speaking of content, I fell down a rabbit hole.

You know, people sail with cats a lot Like boating say yeah, like they do like long distance sailing with cats. No, it's like Way more common than I thought it was really there's a guy. There's a dude right now again It might have already happened. I don't know when this comes out There's a guy sailing to Hawaii with his cat and you can like track it online. But someone in the comment section was like, I did this with my cat like 10 years ago.

We were like out on the ocean together for like seven months. And they're like, what do you do with the cat box? And they're like, you just put it in a certain area, let them fucking go. They just dump it in the sea or what? And then he's cleaning it out when they go to a port and then put more kitty litter in But they're like what if the cat falls in they're like some cats like water didn't know that no

I didn't know that I thought cats hated water category Yeah, I thought they just fucking that was across the board across the board That's why you spritz them when they get on the fucking shit But now there's people straight up being like my cat loves to jump in the pool and you're like, that's insane That's the good part of the internet. Where you go, I'm into this. I will say though, I have noticed my girlfriend's cat, he is, he kind of likes a little bit of water.

Like if we're in the shower, the curtain will move aside and he likes the mist from the shower. It's good for my skin. Yeah, he enjoys that. But if like, he gets a little too far in and touches what then he They'll look at you. Like what the hell? Why'd you do that? Just a little miss. Mm-hmm. She fucking hated water dogs. Usually like water We try to go swimming with her when she was a puppy Katie still has a scar because myrtle's really yeah

I like put her in the water and she's like get me the fuck out of here But now like if we go to a lake or something, she'll go leg deep. Oh, okay. Yeah, so she's better about it, but when she first, we just threw her in, we thought it was gonna be all right. Well, because they inherently know how to.

Yeah, they know how to doggy paddle. Yeah. She's obsessed with pimp. She just comes out and she's like, hey. And then we leave and she just goes back and her kennel doesn't talk to me and I go, I'm here. Well, I would love to scratch her fat neck. She's like, get out of here.

Too much of you. Get out of here. When you come from growing up in a rural place like that, would you ever want to live in a place like New York? It's tough. My dad grew up in Queens. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I used to-

So he killed someone and had to leave. Is that why, where you grew up, where you grew up? Yeah. Because immediately he goes, so he had to flee. He met my mom when he was in the Navy. Okay. Yeah. And then they lived here for 10 years

and then wanted to have me, but I don't think they could afford to have a kid. Yeah, man, I see people. So then they had to leave. People raising families here. It's like, how the fuck do you afford that? I don't know. In some cases I'm like, this shouldn't, you shouldn't have kids here.

Yeah. Because like there was a homeless guy just like smoking a cigarette and spitting on the floor right around like 3 p.m. There was a bunch of kids on the trade and I was like, they shouldn't. But those kids grow up and they're not impressed with anything.

True. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. That's why it's better where like you go to like a rural town and they're like oh my god and these kids are like yeah so what? You're going home. Yeah. Let the guy spit and smoke. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like a little like nine-year-old kids are like yeah guy's jerking off what are you gonna do? They don't even jerk off yet. They're like yeah you gotta get it out of you somehow. Sometimes he's just timing a place. He doesn't have a home. Yeah he goes hey let the guy sleep down on a bench. Sometimes he's just time and a place. He doesn't have a home.

Hey, let the guys sleep down on the bench. But they always end up, city kids always end up addicted to drugs at like 12. And then you talk to them when you're 21. When I worked waiting tables in the city and you would like work with a city kid, you could tell. You're like, you grew up here? They're like, you grew up in Manhattan.

But only, my friend Sarah was the only normal person I've ever met. They grew up in the city. She grew up on the West Side and she's like normal. Yeah. There's a couple other people, there's comics that are from New York that are pretty normal.

Yeah. Sam, Schultz, DeStefano's from Queens. They're like kind of normal, but they also always have that like, they feel 40 years older at times. They're like talking to Giannis and he's like, I remember in Brooklyn in the eighties and you're like, Jesus Christ.

Yeah. This is a Bronx tale, I and then you know where we like I grew up in Colorado and you're like yeah it was kind of it was suburbs yeah I mean the thing it's like it's not that I didn't see somebody spitting and smoking at a bar when I was very young my dad fucking made sure I saw that yeah but it's like yeah you knew him yeah You're like, he's a good guy. He shits his pants when he gets drunk sometimes, but he's a decent guy.

I'm blown away by people that aren't surrounded by alcoholics. I think that's weird to me. I made that revelation in Utah where I was like, oh yeah, your parents were just not drunk. Yeah, they didn't bring you to a bar when you were a child. Big Jay didn't believe me. It's the whole premise of our cartoon.

Yeah. Yeah, Saint Germain and I's show that we're making is I was on the bonfire and I was like, yeah, just go hang out with my dad at the bar. And he's like, that's crazy, that never happens. And I was like, oh, what? It was actually, and then all these people would DM me or tweet at me or email me. Like, what are you doing?

You're a psycho. They'd be like, dude, I'm a bar kid. Yeah. I felt like it was, see how you grew up like that. Oh yeah. It's very normal. I remember just going. It's not very normal, I get that.

It felt really normal though. Yeah, it felt like you're going to a place, like you're accepted there. They would always say, don't sit at the bar. That was always the rule. Don't sit at the bar. That's like the number one rule. And they give you a bunch of quarters

and you can like go play like the quarter machine or like towards the end of the night when it's like you and a couple other bar kids and they won't give you any more money for pool. So you just got the white ball and you're slinging it back and forth to one another. Where you go bouncing off this, this and that and get it in the wall.

This is with the cue ball. Dude, cue ball games are absolutely such a and you smash my fingers dude what the hell and it's so funny that you're like friends with these kids that could be dead now you're like I have no idea where they're at. A lot of them just are in the same bar still where I grew up. Yeah they bulldozed the bar we used to go to in Denver was called Caldonia's those in Aurora and it's funny because Adam Cain Holland, a comic from Denver was on here

and he randomly brought it up thinking like, oh, it's like a reference? I was like, no, that used to be the bar. My father, my dad would like take me to that bar and just hang out. And then when he worked at the bar in California, I would just hang out there. I'd go visit him.

And it's just eating fried food for dinner Unbelievable chicken fingers and fries corn dogs Pepsi in a small paper Pepsi cup. Yeah, and they're going back out He worked at a bowling out a bar in a bowling alley But the bar was popular and then you just got to the so I just be like out in the bullet What sucked is when the bowling alley would close and the bar was still open so I couldn't hang out in the bar So I just had to sit on like a milk crate and read like, that only happened a couple times. But that was the worst.

You're like, I can't play Cruisin' USA? Yeah. It was awesome. Shout out, Lakeside Lanes. The bowling alley where I grew up went downhill sharply. That's what bowling alleys do. Yeah, it was called Duffy's, and then it was just bought by this dude who lived in the basement of the bowling alley He's like I'm sick of these pins keeping me

Every night I sleep. I don't care if you're rolling a 300. Yeah, and then he fucking Was married to this lady. I remember him as a lot older, because we were like kids. Now this is gonna hurt. How old do you think he really was? Honestly, like 20 at the time, but we were like 13. So he was just like a fucking old man.

Yeah. And I remember going, because this dude, I kinda of knew he was weird, but it was just like one of those third string friends where everybody else is busy, so you just hit him up. Oh man, having those. Yeah. Thank God you never know you're that guy.

Yeah, no. I felt like that a couple times with friends where I've been like, oh, you're calling me. You're calling me, and it's later in the day. Yeah, so you've tried mm-hmm and other people he was super the dude that lived in the bowling alley his name was Nick and I went over there with my friend Ethan because they were like big into RC cars sick yeah custom made RC cars yeah that's there there we go yeah what a fun

world and I remember walking in he was smoking cigarettes in the bar Watching Resident Evil on one of those big box TVs like a fix in the and we thought he was like cool as hell he was but then he ended up having sex with a girl from my grade and What great really I was in eighth seventh or eighth grade? Yeah, and then the guy that lived below the bulletin bought it and changed the name to bricks. It was supposed to be him and his girlfriend's name mashed together, had sex with a girl of my grade less than a year of owning it.

And then it just went back to Duffy's. Yeah. Well, it turns out that guy had some wrong. I mean, dude, you should have pedophile busted him. He's still in, we found him. We like searched his like record and stuff and we found him. He's still around? Yeah. Sex with an eighth grader? What do you talk about you gross fuck? I don't know. I mean that was in retrospect, I was like- Do you think he got her the same way he got you? Fixing an RC car and smoking inside?

Definitely. Who is this? Yeah and it's like he'd offer you cigarettes. Also I know algebra. Yeah. I can help you with your fucking homework. I'd offer you cigarettes. Also I know algebra. Yeah. I can help you with your fucking homework. I can help you with algebra. I can tell you about the War of 1812 if you really want to know about it. You'll ace your social studies test. That's fucking wild.

Yeah, dude. I'm finding out that people are 20. When you were like 13, they felt like 40. Yeah, they felt so much older and it was like, like oh is it cool that like he'll drive us places. Oh man what a loser. What a fucking loser. You know the thing I smoked in eighth grade. Yeah. Started smoking in seventh grade but really smoked in eighth grade and our thing was we would go to Circle K and we'd stand off to the side and then when dudes would come up who looked older, we'd go, excuse me, mister, three dollars for packs of cigarettes. Shout out 1995. And we'd be like, hey, we have three

dollars. Could you buy us a cigarette? And how many times dudes are just like, yeah, what do you want? Like grab the three dollars, come out with like a pack of fucking Marlboro Reds for kids. And the times, the people that were good, and they'd be like, you guys don't need cigarettes, we'd be like, fuck you. Yeah, you're gay, dude. Yeah, fuck you. And then I'm thinking about it,

I'm like, I'd absolutely be a gay guy. I'd be a guy that's like, get the fuck out of here, you shouldn't be smoking. And you know, and then you think about these guys that we thought were cool, and you're like, what a fucking loser. Yeah, I remember we would go, this guy I still think is pretty sick.

He still hasn't lost it. He's cool to me. I remember my buddy, Jayrod, his brother worked at the BP in this town over from us and it was a lot smaller than where I grew up. Yeah, I was like small towns because it goes like, ours was 200, theirs was 75. You're it goes like ours was 200. Theirs was 75. Yeah. Like how do people run that town that small?

And we would like hit him up and it would just be like, tell me what liquor or booze you want. And he would just roll up while he was working, fill a shopping cart up full of booze, just steal it. He would just go steal it, wheel it out to the back, throw it in the back of my buddy's Sunfire, and we would be like, here's 50 bucks, and he's like sick, and then we would leave. Honestly, not a bad business model.

I kind of see why you like this guy. That's 100% profit. Yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, now the cost of doing business is, if you get caught, you're going to jail, but. He became a Marine, yeah. Thank you for your service.

So, fucking, yeah, I think he's sick as. Yeah. Thank you for your service fucking. Yeah I think he's sick as hell still let's omit that part about him banging the eighth grader. Oh, no different guy. Oh No, oh, thank God. You were winning me over on a different guy completely different guy No, Nick never got us booze. I knew our nation's best wouldn't do that. No. Oh, thank God. Oh my god, dude I was so worried that I was starting to like this fucking monster. No, he's a pretty different guy. It's pretty sick. He's making 50 bucks. You know, my buddy's brother used to work at a hardware store, like a big one.

I won't say the name, but we would when we'd steal from it, you just do that. You just fill a shopping cart. And the whole point was you would have cash to like pay for. He would like fill a whole shopping cart up, but he would scan like batteries. And he'd pay for the batteries and then leave with like a fucking power washer and a safe and shit. It's my buddy and his brothers did a lot more and I'm not gonna give names out.

He watches the podcast, he knows. The time I did it, this is how bad at crime I am. The time I did it, I like filled up, he was am, the time I did it, I like filled up, he was working in the lumber section, so it was easy to get out of. And he's like, so just bring your cart up. And he's like, boop, he's like doing the fake scanning and scans like batteries or whatever.

And he goes, great, that's 16.85 or whatever. And I go, I don't have any cash. He goes, my friend's brother was so disappointed in me. He was like, what the fuck dude? And then someone, one of my friends I was with was like, I got that. And then he was like, and then later when I saw him,

he's like, dude, you almost blew the whole operation. I was like, well, yeah, I don't know. Is this like before credit card? Like I don't think I had a credit card. So you just had no money. You just walked in, you're like, it's free. I thought. I thought we'd just take the card

And he's like you gotta buy some of it to make it looks For real and then one of my other friends jumped in and paid it. I was like, I'm sorry So sorry Andy What were you getting? Oh all this stuff from my dorm room it was in between senior and freshman year of college and they were pulling the stunt because the fucking Come the hardware store were pieces of shit. so he's like fuck it let's go get what we can get but I got like a fucking safe I bought like a bunch of mag flashlights like those cock all the big ones yeah got like four of them

sons of bitches that's nice yeah it was fucking sick I got a bunch of cool stuff but no cat you rolled up with nothing in your pocket. Nope. I bought one of those assassin cases those like metal You know like the silver suitcases. Oh, yeah, I just got one of those and I kept my my BB gun in it. Hell yeah If you went in my closet when I was in high school You just find one of those and like undo, and it looked like a real handgun. It was one of those, it was one of the ones that the CO2 powered BB guns.

I mean, you put a, you fucking shoot someone with that. It's piercing the skin. Like we'd shoot the fence out back, and you'd be like, I don't think we can play with this one. Cause this was my same friend that had a paintball gun, and we were just in his backyard, run, you know, it's not that big of a backyard,

and he'd run from side to side, and we'd just shoot each other with paintballs. But he was so good that he would, I'd wear shorts and he would hit me on the- He knew how to lead you. Yeah. I'm like, stop. And he'd be like, what?

He'd be like, stop it. And I had fucking welts on my legs for fucking two weeks. Damn dude, Myrtle's a slut. She's out here getting pets everywhere. Aidan McCluskey is fucking hilarious. You have a website? Yeah, it's AIDS man dotnet AIDS AIDS man Yeah dotnet AIDS man dotnet might be the best website. Honestly wasn't setting that up knowing that was gonna pay off Go to AIDS man dotnet. Yeah

Aidan's gonna be out on the road, you know, we got the Golden Retriever tour Tickets are on dance soda comm buy a ticket to a show. Aidan might going to be out on the road. You know, we got the Golden Retriever tour. Tickets are on dansoder.com. Buy a ticket to his show. Aidan might be a part of the show. Yeah. He's got, I'm going to bring him out on a bunch of shows and you know, so go to AIDSman.net. Go to dansoder.com. you