Soder - 99: Ferral from the Road with Rob Thomas | Soder Podcast | EP 97

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Support the sponsors to support the show! With Square, you get all the tools to run your business, with none of the contracts or complexity. Andwhy wait? Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/soder That’s S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash [soder]. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today https://squareup.com/us/en/campaign/audio Get breathable clothes you can feel comfortable in all summer. Go to MackWeldon.com and get 20% off your first order of $125 or more, with promo code DAN20 https://mackweldon.com/ The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is coming to your city! Get tickets at https://www.dansoder.com/tour Sep 25 Los Angeles, CA Sep 26 Seattle, WA Sep 27 Portland, OR OCT 3 Tucson, AZ Oct 4 Denver, CO Oct 9 Knoxville, TN OCT 10 Atlanta, GA Oct 11 Louisville, KY Oct 24 Providence, RI OCT 25 Nashville, TN NOV 7 San Antonio, TX NOV 8 Austin, TX NOV 13 Iowa City, IA Nov 14 Minneapolis, MN NOV 15 Madison, WI NOV 21 Kansas City, MO NOV 22 St. Louis, MO DEC 5 Vancouver, BC DEC 6 Eugene, OR DEC 12 Columbus, OH DEC 13 Royal Oak, MI Follow Rob Thomas https://robthomasmusic.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robthomas/?hl=en PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with DAN Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  Mike Lavin      @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is officially upon us. September 25th, Los Angeles, the United Theater. September 26th, the Moore Theater in Seattle. And then, thank you, Portland, you're sold out. But I love you, and, you know, there might be a wait list. But then we got Tucson at the Rialto, October 3rd, the Paramount Theater in Denver, close to sold out, October 4th. DanSoter.com.

Go there for tickets. Do not go to Google For the love of God Do not go to Google Go to Dan Soder.com It's really fun I'm bringing a lot of very funny People with me on this tour

And I think you guys will have a good time I really think you do Myrtle will not be there But she'll be there in spirit So Dan Soder.com for tickets Golden Tree of Comedy Tour Happen to now That was like

And that was I guess like Paul Simon Went to school there And Cindy Lauper Yeah, Queens has got everybody. Yeah. Queens has got a, New York City, because you're from Orlando, right? Growing up in Florida. South Carolina, then Orlando.

Yeah, it's always like when you come to, when you're in New York and you hear about everyone that went to the high school of people, you're like, my high school sucked. Yeah, I know. But also, like, in general, like, I grew up, like, when I was a kid, I would watch Sesame Street, right? Sure. But, like, they would always cut away, like, from Sesame Street to those, like, those filmed moments that were, like, all these, like, inner city.

school kids? Sure. With New York accents? Yeah, yeah. Would they be like, I don't know about that girl. It sounded like a plumber? You know those fucking kids were like, they were picking up like the like the Wall Street Journal and a coffee on their way to school.

Well, Manhattan kids, New York kids, I feel like. They scare the shit out of me. Yeah. They age it five times the rate. I see them as I'm like in the mornings when I have to do stuff in the city and I see them like going to school like unattended. Yeah. Just like six 11 year olds that are from New York City will make me very cautious.

And it's even worse if they have like a school uniform. Because then they really look organized. Yeah, they're like, I know the Bible. I know what rules to break. And teenagers in New York City are scarier than teenagers anywhere else. And teenagers everywhere are scary. Everywhere, teenagers are scary because they have, they still have child brains. And their bodies are blowing up at a rate that they're just like,

oh. And their ability to take from thought to action is like that. It's like nothing. You know when you turn on a TV and someone has left the volume too high? Yeah. And it just, that's what a. teenager is. It's just like, that's their...

But as an embodied spirit? Yeah, it's just like their whole actor just like, the volumes coming out. What was the, what was the Stiller movie with, was it Greenberg? Which one? Noah Swartz's movie, the Greenberg where he was like this neurotic guy living in his sister's side. But he had this moment where he just, he's doing drugs with all these, these teenagers and these rich teens.

And he's just like, you guys scare the shit out of me. He's like, one day, I'm going to have to like be up against a job with one of you guys. Dude, they're, New York, that's why New York kids can start businesses. Like, when you meet people from New York, by the time they're 30, they're like, well, I had my first business by like 22. It's like, well, yeah, you're also in rehab by the time you're 12. Yeah. That was when I met Manhattan kids when I started waiting tables in New York, you'd meet people who were like, I grew up in the city. And you're like, what's that like?

And they're like, it's fun. You know, you're doing Coke by 11. Yeah, totally. Like, what the fuck? You're just doing yak and like still watching Power Rangers? Yeah, I was like, that wasn't Orlando. Well, Orlando is like Orlando has its own

different kind of, I think every place has its own trouble. Florida's got like... Is that like, especially central Florida. Yeah. There's no discernible culture of its own. Yeah. Right? It's transient in nature. Yeah. So it's fast food. It's mini malls. And it's tourism is like the driving thing.

Rainforest Cafe. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's what I think about. Margaritaville. Yeah. Just think about restaurants that force the beach on you. That's why I'm amazed at like people that come from like Orlando. and then they come to New York and they go to fucking Olive Garden. Yeah, you're like, what are you doing? You just break the cycle.

Break the traumatic cycle. I'm the same way. I'm from Colorado. I'm from Aurora, which was mini malls, suburbs, and all that stuff. And you come to New York and you're like, this has been a restaurant for like 80 years? I'm amazed when I see a new restaurant. When I see a new, anything in Manhattan,

like if you see like a new nail salon as you're dry, and you're just like, good for you. Yeah. Good for you. You're going to fail, miserable, but good for you. I don't know if you feel about this, about performing. But when people are like, how do you go up there and do you stand-up?

Or like, how do you go, how do you start a small business? Yeah. I can go tell dick jokes to a hundred people easy. I cannot file taxes and fucking get the permits. Once you figured out like in anything in entertainment how to make a living out of it. Sure. The individual efforts, usually the stakes are fucking low. Yeah.

I mean, they're really low. Like if you bomb, if I have a bad night, you'll pick them up next time. It's probably going to be okay. you'll you'll I don't know how you are but I will like and no one notices yeah no one knows you like I'll have a bad show and I'm like that sucked and people would be like great and and it used to be when I first started doing stand-up I'd be like shut the fuck up right and then with another therapy I was like oh that is just me I just get like oh shit

if you liked that oh imagine if you saw me when I was good you would you would shit out of your ears you would blow me right here now is there what is bombing for a musician like because I would say for the last, it's been like over 20 years now, you've had a great fan base. 30 years with Matchbox. So 30 years.

Yeah, 20 years solo. Yeah. So you have a fan base. Yeah, so like I just got off tour like Saturday. Oh shit. Did you sleep forever? We played L.A. And I, well, I took the bus back because my wife and I stay on the bus.

So like I, we just got the bus yesterday back to my house. Like pulled the bus up. I unloaded the bus. Do you sleep better home or bus? Because you're on the bus? so much. A little, a little of both. I mean, because our bus is swank, right? Because it's a whole back bedroom. It's a one, you know, she's me and my wife on there. I wrote with Bert Kreischer on his tour. I imagine it's like that. Yeah, his, he had a whole bedroom and then the other

bunks were fucking awesome. Yeah, big condo bunks, like a nice, nice size bunks. I mean, it's, it's really easy. And there's something about that motion of the bus that really just can lull you right to sleep. I've said this before, but I know this is a dark thought. I can't sleep on buses because I hear the tread of like the thing and i look too much like cliff burton so i'm like afraid of a bus accident i don't want to die on the last matchbox tour our guitar player my best friend paul we didn't tell him this until the tour was over but he was on the bus that scottweil and died on no no you can't yeah that's like anybody that believes in it that's a great job he didn't say we all wait until the very last day oh my oh by the way cool fat did you feel it out of

pop up morbid you're like dude if you told me that the similar thing happened to I mean not with Scott Weiland I was like this is the bus that's gonna be a crazy thing to say to someone

FYI is where Scott Weiland died my fiance and I were visiting my grandma and we had to sleep in this guest room and we just couldn't sleep in it it was really hot and she like wouldn't put on the AC at night and finally on the last night I was like well this was the room my dad

and my aunt died in and she was like you what the fuck dude she was like And I did the same thing you did to your guitar player I was like, I don't want to tell you to the last day. Yeah, but by the way. Yeah, she's like, well, we're never sleeping in here again. And you're like, this is with your girlfriend?

She's my fiance. Oh, so you guys were fucking in that room. We did not have sex. Oh, okay. There was no chance of having any set. My grandma's townhouse was, I would have had to have been 13-year-old horny. Your grandma's, like, famous, like, through your stand-up. She's basically famous.

She's dead now, and she never watched my stand-up. Oh, really? So she has no clue. She was such a central part of so much of it. Yeah. Yeah, she's in, she's going to be in the last hour. It's about her dying is one of the jokes. When did she pass away, by the way?

A year ago. Oh, I'm sorry. You guys are really close, though. Yeah, we were. The last couple of years got crazy. When the finances started getting involved. Oh, yeah. You're from Florida.

You understand that. Yeah. When you start getting finances involved in the family. And I have finances. Yeah. This is where the trouble starts. Game changer. You have, this is inviting the vampire into the house and you don't realize who's going to move which way.

Oh, man. So we were, I loved my. my grandma but it was that when she died I was like good yeah I was like rotten piss I'll see you later it was one of those calls where you go well it was really funny when I the day I found out my grandma died was the day after Shane hosted SNL for the first time and he was over here just like eating lunch and we're just like talking and I get a call and I go okay all right I just go back and I got my grandma's dead and everyone's like the fuck But I sat down.

I was like, anyways, is that, you like that sandwich? I was like, when my mom died, it was, we had a problematic thing. Okay. And it was, I was devastated. Sure. How old were you? This was 20 years ago, maybe. It was, I have to go, it was the day that Anna Nicole Smith died.

Damn, God took two angels that day. Don't you know it? Don't you know it? They were in line together. Yeah. She was like, oh, yeah, I'm Anna Nicole Smith. You're like, oh, half the liquor industry went, oh. our profits are fucking they're going down what's going on i uh february eighth oh seven

so that was so that was when my mom passed but i uh i was the guilt that i carried was about how much easier i knew that my life was about to become yeah that's the thing no one tells you about death is that you go one less phone call to make yeah i mean i was at the point where i was this is i would be like my mom lived in florida and so did my wife's family sure and i would like go visit my wife's family on Thanksgiving and then like go out to a cul-de-sac somewhere and call my mom and be like, I'm sorry I couldn't make it. Oh, I'm in the Alps. Yeah. It's like trying to make noise. I would do that with my grandma. I would go to San Francisco and do shows and like, Hank, go to 49ers games. And then my grandma would be like,

and then I'd fly back to New York and my grandma was maybe, she was like two hours going to San Francisco. She's like, how was your weekend? You're like, yeah. You can justify two out. I mean, like... I'm saying I think there isn't... I think it could be across the street and I wouldn't have done that. And you still... Yeah.

Because it's heavy. Family's always like... It's so... As you get older, I can't imagine... I mean, I imagine it's for everybody. I think it is. It's a human thing. It doesn't come with, you know...

I mean, it does... Like you said, finances add another level of something. Well, you have something... Yeah. And you understand not having it, right? Because none of us came from it. I think it's the closest you and I will ever feel to having fake breasts. Yeah.

Tony just like all of a sudden people are like, what are you doing? Like I have a small sense of what it's like to be a really hot girl by yourself in the dark alley. What are you fucking doing? What you got under there? I'm getting cat called by my family. Like, hey, rich you rich. Hey, sweet tits. Watch you're shaking over here and you're like, stop it.

You were treating me different when I was poor. But yeah, you're right. I think it changes when you get older and everything. Also, you know, that's saying like you can't choose your family. That's not true. when you get older you go oh my god a thousand percent you can you go i can absolutely i got i i talk to my sister and and all and like her family sure i i have family i have no idea who they are i haven't seen them since i was eight okay is that was there like a cutoff for people to be like well you

weren't there when i was a struggling songwriter well even more than that like so me and my me and my father we have a weird he i he i pay for him to be he's an assisted living in south carolina great but he me and him me and my mom they they had their own fucking you know explosions right yeah that I was in the aftermath of and because of that like I always was mad at my mom because she was drunk and angry and violent and I was mad at my dad because he was passive and he would choose to not see me and not spend time with me to not have to deal with my mom that's a fucking tough so by the time I was 17 I was hitchhiking around the south I was living in my friend's cars I was like fucking you know sleeping on park benches

and so when I started to do well and my dad started to show back up it wasn't about oh you want me now that i have money it was like by the time you want a relationship i had already become self-sufficient sure i didn't i like calling you on my birthday calling you on a birthday or calling you on a holiday that was not a part of my thing now yeah and it's my wife's parents that are my family now yeah that's that's a thing that people don't understand is you learn how to like kind of caught her eyes a wound yeah and then you go well what's the point of opening it back up without a doubt it took so much work for me to shut you the fuck off. And I think, man, there's like a lot of people that do the opposite where they go,

I know it hurts, but I have to because it's my family. You want to tell those people like, you don't, though. You don't have to. And your peace is actually you getting them out of your life. If someone causes a lot of drama, I'd never understood that. I have friends that, that, I have friends that have mutual friends that are very chaotic. And I'm like, why do you hang out that guy? Oh my God. And they're like, oh, yeah, he's just my friend. And you're like, but I also have friends that are chaotic that I can take their chaos. Yeah. And other people. can't. It's like,

so I think it's like, you know, those movies where it's like, they're like, they're kind of like, like gangster movies. And then there's always the one wild card that like,

like, no matter what, you know, he's like, they're like, why did you bring the gun? I got the gun. I got the gun. He's wingo and the heat.

Oh, yeah. He shot the guy in the head because he was like, he was looking at me and you're like, totally. There's like, you have friends like that. What the fuck, dude?

What the fuck? Yeah. That was, I always have had had a friend like that who might haul off and shoot to tell her if we robbed a bank and you're like, no, but for some reason, that's comforting to me. Sure. And some people can't take it. And I, and I'm always like, I'm always blown away by the people who know they can't take it and still put up with it. Is it a good, is it okay, is it a good

maybe there's a, there's a line like I, I, I, I have a drinking problem in that I drink too much. Shout out. But who would like, but then, have you had the stuff? If you have, you want to drink all of it. If you keep friends in your life that like wake up drinking, you're like, well, at least I don't wake up drinking. Dude, I mean, that was, you know, I talk about drinking a lot on this, but it was for me being like, I thought I was doing it the better way than my dad did it.

Yeah. Because my dad was like, you know, ruined his life being an alcoholic. Same with my mom. That's the thing. Like, I'm like, well,

I don't have that flask. And that's exactly. And I'm not, you know, slipping into my morning orange juice. So therefore. It just took one person going, well,

you drink like pretty much the same. And you go, fuck. I think Amy, Amy Schumer once said, she said, like, she goes,

oh, you know, I drink too much. Like, yesterday was the first day that I didn't drink and I drank. Yeah. Yeah. Me and Joe List used to have a thing where we would take Sunday off drinking. And then when we met up on Monday, we'd be like, look at us. Yeah.

Sober. Pat yourself in a bit. Did that hurt? Yeah, we go. Let's go day drinking a little bit. But you know what? I think that's a thing that everyone has in them where they just have something they like to do and they do it too much.

It's kind of like a loose tooth when you just want to play with it. man it's just that the whole time like video game you're a big video game guy right do you do that on the bus does that help kill the time yeah a lot of times i mean now you know the funny thing is i used to read like crazy i used to play video games and now oh where are they oh they're here that's so i have PR people i don't know dude it's so if he gets killed yeah this is just like i'm sorry we're gonna have to learn how to edit this ourselves i love how that's that's the that's the highest take if mike goes down you're like i'm gonna edit it how we're gonna get this out And that's where it comes.

We go, Mike, I value you as a human. As an editor, you're a god. Now, that was funny. I've never seen him leave the room. That's so weird. You know, I have a brand new label, so I don't really know my people. This is your first album with them, right? Yeah.

What is it like going on a new label? It's great. Like, because they're like, it's kind of packed in here. If you want, there's a TV and I don't know, this is kind of, we, we, we, oh, that's, I like that's, I like, all right, well, now the fun questions. Can't be asked. No, but it is... So anyway, I got my dick in my head. Tell me about all that money you've kept hidden from the IRS.

No, but with a new label, do you feel like them trying like... Well, they don't... So Atlantic, I think, it got to a point where everybody that I knew was gone and they make so much money off of my catalog of songs that they don't really have to care about the new stuff that I'm doing. And so when I made this deal with Universal Music, it was like, well, they have this record and they care about this record. Yeah.

So they're pushing it. Yeah. Did you, when you're around, you were at Atlantic for a long time. Yeah, all the 30 years except for now. Really? Yeah. What is that breakup like? Are you like, well, it doesn't matter.

It's because it's, it's all new. Like when I was there, fucking Ahmed Erdogan was still walking around the building. That's crazy. That's like old school shit. I did like a session at Sun Records with, with Amid Erdogan and Sam Phillips behind the board. With Jerry Lee Lewis, like, playing piano. For those of people don't know, Sun Records did like Jerry Lee Lewis. Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley.

Those guys are, like, legendary. It's the spot. So, like, having, like, Ahmed in, you know, in the building coming around. By the way, I fucking inducted him into, like, a Hall of Fame. I, I had dinner with him multiple times. Every time I met him, it was like he'd never see me before. It's really funny. How you doing, young fella?

He's like, I like, I like your sound. And you go, we've done albums together. And he goes, that's, that's, that's, that's, oh, don't put me in a home. He says, getting real. Please, don't put me away. Please, they want me to go away. but when you tell Atlantic I went through all these different people

and then it was it came down to like brand new guy everybody else is gone we'd like to restructure your deal I'm like I don't like I don't like that idea and we come up with another solution where they just finished a record they paid for they just gave me the record I squashed my debt and was like you can go

wherever you'd like you had like a clean breakup yeah I've always I think everything that we hear outside of the music industry is always that it's like devolition like vindictive and they're like oh you want to leave the record label we'll fuck you over but it sounds like they were like hey good good relationship nobody like dangled me outside of a window like fucking shug night you get shugnighted out of it fucking you go dude there's a hit on rob thomas they're like atlantic wants blood that's um but it is

great to hear you know when you think of matchbox 20 you know you know we're from the streets you you guys are dangerous you know that yeah yeah i'm telling you 3 am that's a call that's a call for gang members without a doubt and now i'm up in westchester yeah i love it your son's on tour with you yeah he's playing guitar with me now how awesome how old's he 27 that's awesome yeah it's it's the best ever what he's and also he's like i'm like like night three we're in like nashville and i'm like hey you know we got a night off i call him up i'm like hey me and the rest of the band we're all going to grab some drinks and he's like i don't know i'm a little tired i think you know i want to rest up and kill it tomorrow and he's like who is this kid yeah you go what are you talking i'm your father

you're gonna get out there you're gonna go train you're gonna come fucking party with us oh boy it's fall you know i love it you know i'm such a fall boy Everybody goes, oh, Dan Soder, what a fall boy. But I do. I love chilly weather. And Mack Weldon is there. Mac Weldon's moving from summer to fall and they balance classic pieces with updated details. You know, look, keep you looking shop, kid.

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This is this true. And then I remember being specifically at Levity Live, going to like sell T-shirts to people after I opened for Bobby. And this guy was like, I got a credit card. What do you want me to do? And I was like, I don't know. But you know what? If I would have had a square, I'd go, give me that.

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counter website or with your phone all synced in real time square has built in tools like loyalty and marketing to help you connect with customers and reward them for showing back up again that's what i mean these you and the use is easy one of the first things i notice about square it's just how easy it is to use you just run the credit card and then bloop bloop bloop you got that money with square you get all the tools to run your business with none of the contracts or complexity and why wait right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at Square.com slash go slash soda. That's SQ-U-A-R-E.com slash G-O-S-S-Soter. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. Does he have, now, like you and your wife are on the bus. Is that like him going into his

parents' house when he's on the tour? Yeah, yeah, he's on the band bus. So he's like, mom, dad, dad. There was another level. It's like, it's not. my wife's kid okay there was another level where like on the last six or seven shows his band opened up okay that's fun but they would like finish their gig they would get in the fucking van to drive to the next gig and he would get into the band bus and be like nope that's so funny yeah he goes yeah i'm not gonna go in the van i've got a bunk yeah totally later losers but that is is there any like um father's son moments that are like where you have friction on the road where you're like no he's get into an argument no he's such a good kid yeah i mean it's really just a bunch of like

he really just wants to kill the gig. Like, he's known this band. My solo band's been around for the last 20 years, so he'd know them when he was seven. He'd be on the road, you know, playing with these guys. And now he's one of them. That is. And so it's, for him, he just,

he went to Berkeley College of Music. Oh, fuck. He just wants to kill it. So that's all he thinks about. What age did you, because I mean, I think one of the hardest positions to be in is to follow your father in the job that they did.

You know, I don't know how good of a... I never encouraged. I never pushed it, but I always encouraged it. Okay, so you were like, was there a moment where you saw him have talent? Yeah, when he was like 10, he wanted a guitar. So I gave him this guitar. And then when he was 16, he was like, I want a Pro Tools rig. He wanted to start recording.

And I was like, oh, that's interesting. You're like, you're going to be a rapper? Yeah. Whatever, whatever your thing is, whatever you want to do, you know. Yeah, he goes, I need lean. And I was always there. As soon as he graduated from Berkeley, I was like, okay, here's the deal now. Don't get a backup plan.

Yeah, this is, now you've got to be in. Yeah, just charge. I mean, also going to Berkeley. school of music is like expensive yeah expensive but also like you're fucking good at music yeah by the time you get out it's not juliar juliard you got to be great to go in what so what is the difference you have to be like you have to have a grasp of it you got to be a pretty good to go in and julia right when you get out you're going to be great juliar you got to be great going in it's like new york school like you got to be it's like your parents push you into it's like fame i imagine

i thought yeah i thought berkeley was going to be like fame like i thought i was going to go in there People are going to be, like, dancing down the hall. Oh, their whole lesson today, they sang it at me. And it's not, they all just like, they're all just like stressed. You're running around with their elbow. That is, I never, the idea of a performance high school, I'm sure, same way you grew up in Orlando, me growing up in Colorado, you'd be like, what do you mean performance high school? Yeah, there's like the theater kids.

Yeah. But there's not just a whole high school for it. And I was like more of a theater. Like I wasn't, I was in like one time I did theater. I did chorus because I had this crush on this girl. That there is. where, like, the singing kind of started, you know, but it wasn't like, look how that worked out.

It wasn't fucking encouraged, you know, by anyone. I'm going to tell you right now, the bravest thing a teenage boy can do is join drama or chorus, but the rewards, yeah, bountiful. Yeah. Oh, my God. Play football, you're just going to have a bum shoulder like me. I wasn't even good at football. Yeah, and I certainly didn't get laid for it.

Yeah, as I say, not, it's not like everybody in the team gets laid. All the drama kids get laid. All of them. Yeah. All of the band kids. All of the drama kids. it is an orgy in high school. And meanwhile, I'm playing football

and I'm getting light CTE for nothing. You think they want to fuck a kid on the kickoff team? They're trying to fuck their quarterback. It's like, I'm over here. I should have been in Romeo and Julia. Oh, man. I would have been one of the, I would have been like one of the... By the way, whatever you were, whatever you were into,

if you were young beginning to figure out being gay kid, drama. Drama. Oh, my God. Just if you are, listen, if you have no athletic ability, just go to drama. It'll be better for your business, professional life. It'll be better for your personal life.

So I fuck it like, it was like, it was dick dark. So I was really young. It would be like, I was trying to learn how to play. And then my mom would just like tell me that I had no talent. But then she would come home drunk with like some new guy and wake me up and make me like perform for him while she changed. That's a doy cop story. It was unbelievable.

That is fucking, which is like, hey, get up. And then you just care. You just. And then after like leaving school, I would fucking, once I, once I, once, when I was in high school there was this army band came by. Have you ever had that where they come by and they play like popular songs? But they're still wearing like their fatigues. Yeah, but they're like modern songs. And they're like, you can do this if you join the army. And so I had a moment where I went, I was going to join the army. Like I quit school and I got my GED so that I could

take the ASFAB test or whatever, you know, and I was like set up to like, okay, if you show up at, you know. Basic training, you can jump in. And it was literally like a group of people jumped out like within a month before they were in a band. They're like, hey, we're, you know, we're looking for singer and I was like oh I want to try that so you were going to go to the army army because it was the best option because you know you saw the commercials they do a good job and they recruit like a motherfucker for high schoolers oh my god they're just one and drew they like act very interested in you look dumb come here yeah they would like they look at your GPA I'm positive because I had a bad GPA and I was getting hounded by the army and the Marines they're like

what do you got in the fall that was basically every call they had to be they're like I always I was going to college and they're like I always tested really well and then but I was I was the one who, like, couldn't apply himself. Yeah. You know, and so it would always be the teachers, like, you know, you have so much potential. You're squandered. You're, hey, hold back. Would they do that a lot?

Would they like, Rob, can I talk to you for five minutes? Totally. I see that you're understanding the material. Yeah. You're just not applying yourself. And you're also, you're a little disruptive in class. I will say, I do think that is a brilliant strategy by the American military to have a band come and play and go, you guys like music.

You could, if they would have came to my high school and gone, you like doing psilocybin and smoking weed? We got a program where we're going to break your mind. And you'd be like, I'm going into the Army. Now they do it with video games. Yeah. Oh, my God, dude. I would have been.

Dude, you'd be here right now. Oh, my God. I'd be in a little thing in Arizona. Yeah. We're in my army uniform with a joystick. Just absolutely. You do Oculus, I heard. I love Oculus, yeah.

You do? Here's the thing, though. It trips me out. It's so fucking, like, lame. It's, it's, I have Oculus and I, and I play, like, three things on it. One is mini golf. It's great. There's, like, this killer mini golf game.

I'm already on board with it. And then another one is power washing. Dude, okay. Here's the deal. People will try to shit on this. People will try to shit on this. I know a lot of people that find that video game incredibly relaxing. My son says he plays it like on his computer.

Sure. My buddy Des plays it and he'll be like, like we'll play this boxing game. And there was a time where I text him, he's like, hold on, I've got to finish power washing this helicopter. I was like, what do you mean? I did the helicopter.

Yeah, and he's like, you gotta get, and then he shows me the video, and you're like. But you're in it, and you're in it. Yeah. And I, and it's got this little home, and there's, it's just, I'm just washing away my problems. It's so funny that we're turning manual labor.

Like, why don't I kill myself? Right here. This is what we're going to have to do with, they go, and now the news game, strawberry picking. And you go, it hurts my lower back, but I find it. My wife is like, our fucking deck

could use some power washing. Yeah, I did that. I would be serious. You can you please do it in real life so we live in a cleaner place? Living on a bus when you come back, like now that you're back, is there going to be a moment

where you like, because I've heard musicians say this before that when they become too, you almost got like sea legs. Farrell too. You're too feral and like your sea legs. You're on like dry land. Yeah, my wife and I both like when we come back.

Like when I was on the road without her, it would be more the feral thing, right? Like I would come home for like, if I play in New York, I base out of New York and I come home every night. So, like, one night we're off and I'm sitting on the back porch with my wife and we're just kind of sitting next to each other at night and I've got my arm around her and I'm having a cigarette and we're just talking about something.

And then absentmindedly, as soon as I'm done, I take my cigarette and I just flick it across the yard. She's like, what the fuck are you doing? We own that. That's our grass. You know, like, I just forgot where I was for a second. I forgot where I was for a second. Yeah, there is a...

But both of us last night, like, it was our first night sleeping in home in like over a month or so. and we both, like, would wake up and think we were on the bus. Yeah, that, that's something that I think happens. He travels a ton, and I travel. We, you know, we travel a lot. There's, I still do the thing where if I'm at home for like, like, I'll be at home for two weeks before the tour starts.

When we go on the tour, I will wake up and be like, what? Yeah. Like that first night, I'll be like, ah, but like a real fear, not like a joking fear. Also, you're like, okay, I'm in LA. Our schedules are such that, like, for the first week or two at home at nine o'clock at night, I don't know why I'm fucking watch. That makes sense, you know, because it's like spots in the city, but that's got to be, that's got to be your noon. Yeah. You got to be like, you're starting to peak and you're like, I'm feeling. Like around seven, I'll be like, what's going on? Also, I've drink faster now. Like last night, we were just sitting there. We're just watching TV and having dinner. Yeah. And I'm like on my third glass of wine and we're not done with you. And, you know, because I, because it's just going down. Yeah. When I smoke weed on the road, it's like, um, almost calculated. Yeah. Where I'll be like, all right, let me have like a hit before. And, you know, and I'll be like, all right, let me have like a hit before. Yeah. I'll be like, for the shower so then I can just sit in the shower,

thinking of the show. No, I'm not going to get stoned. Yeah. But then I go about, I come out, I have a coffee, I get ready, I go do the show. When I'm at the show, I'm like, maybe smoke a little bit of a joint that go on stage.

When I'm at home, I'm just like, she just hears the window slide open and she's like, for real. And I'm like, what? I had somebody asked me the other day, like, fuck, I'm smoking a lot of weed. I had somebody asked me the other day if I still smoked weed.

I was like, yeah, I've cut down, you know, and they're like, well, how much do you smoke now? I was like, I mean, well, I smoke every day, but I've really got, but I've cut down. I'm in my 40s, so I'm starting to buy, like, heart supplements that you're like, pair this with weed smoking. And you're like, all right, maybe I got to cut down. Are you at the point now, though, with like, with every, every feeling, you're just like,

oh, that's the one. I went and got scanned. Yeah. Because I was having that too. I had two, too, for insurance reasons. Okay. But I, on this podcast, Mark Merrin was on this podcast, and he was like, yeah, you should go get, like a calcium scan.

And I was like, I was trying to do that. But in New York, they said I was. too young because I'm 42 they're like no you have to be over 50 to do it and then I went and did it in Colorado I'm like at 53 the thing about it is like I'm I'm too old to die young yes you know I mean yeah so like if I'm like if you're in your 30s and you like you see you know so-and-so passes at 32 and you're like oh fucking God that's a tragedy yeah you know and then in your 40s you're like oh and now in your 50s I'm just like I I immediately got to go see why they died yeah and I'm going I'm going drug like drug abuse or cancer

drug abuse of cancer long battle long battle whenever it's like they just dropped on the spot i'm like oh fuck that in between 50 and 60 you see someone dies and you go well what do you do collapse yeah and you're like no no no no but then like i get really i get really healthy for a week what would be your age ideal age to clock out i think for me it's 75 i think anywhere between that and 80 is probably a good spot 70 i mean i for the most part my experience with it has been like oh Everyone I know is probably like, but like my mother, my stepmother or my, my mother-in-law is in her, in her 70s and killing it. Yeah, my mom's doing.

Clive Davis is like, it was 90 and would still, you know, was going for a while in his 80s really, really well. Yeah, they go. It's almost like pitchers in baseball where you're like the fastball drops off a little bit and they're like maintain it and then it just goes like. And the graph is like, whoa do, yeah. And then my grandma was like strong as fuck to like 94, 95. Yeah.

And then it was just like... When did you, what age did you, like with your grandmother? What age was the communication just not... Around 95. Oh, she started... Pretty good. Yeah, she was really good. We used to play cards and sit and talk.

And she was always really sharp. And then around 95, she called me, like, and she wouldn't remember we had conversations, which is, she's 95. Yeah. You're like, what are you mad about it? But then one time she called me and she was like, I fell. And I was like, what do you mean you fell? And she was like, I was just in the garage for 30 minutes.

And you're like, you have a life alert. That is you. But she was like, old people don't give a fuck. She was just like, yeah, then I just got up. And you're like, you just dusted your stuff off. So my experience is so different. My grandmother, so in South Carolina, my grandmother owned, it was like a general suit was a very small tobacco racist tobacco town in South Carolina.

And it was a little general store that every, that was like the hub of activity. And then the house was attached to it. Yeah. So she always, like she would bootleg liquor out from under the stairs. She sold weed. When I was 11 years old, I could separate seeds from stem. shout out and make dime bags

because I was making them up for the customers that would come through yeah and it was like always a place where like all the activity was happening every Saturday night

there was somebody was getting shot somewhere nearby and how old were you I was anywhere from like three to 10, 11, 12 that is like during that time when you're around

that kind of shady shit when you're seven and eight unbelievable because it's not evil it's not bad it's what you know it was and then it was everybody like you could drive

to the skating rink when you were 12 or 13 because your parents would just let you have a car because you just riding dirt roads, most of the places that you're going. I mean, dude, imagine people doing that now. Because they would be like, I checked your GPS and you went a different route.

But you were like able just to drive. I was telling my mom this story when I was back in Colorado two weeks ago. There used to be this like teen dance night at this club in Denver. And my friends, we'd go. If we had Monday off school, we'd all go on Sunday nights. But me and my friend couldn't get in. So we were 15 maybe. And our friend was like, our friend who drove us there, got in,

threw me the keys of his car. and his dad's, like, big truck, and he's like, just waiting the truck until we come out. So we're sitting there, and I'm like, I'm not waiting for four fucking hours. Do you take the truck? So I took the truck. I'd never driven before.

Oh, that is awesome. And I drove from Denver to Aurora to go to the only movie theater that I knew. We didn't have smartphones or anything. And I'm like, well, the only movie theater I know is like seven hills so we can go there and watch a movie. And then we drove back. How did you, like, was there any thought that, like, the guy was going to come out earlier in the truck wasn't going to be there?

You left us out there. I was like, well, then when we get back, we'll get them. The only thing I was worried about was getting pulled over. Dude, no phones. That was, I remember, like, being overseas and, like, waking up in some stranger's apartment and then, like, somehow, like, finding my tour manager. Like, being a tour manager in the 90s, where their job was to go find you? Yeah.

So they would go find you. I mean, it was, like, almost famous moments. Like, literally where, like, you'd figured out, and the bus would come up to wherever you were and you'd get on the bus and you'd move on. So is there someone that has a story in, like, Sweden where they're like, Rob Thomas slept on, like, how do you? last night yeah like from the 90s yeah they're like uh we went to go see matchbox 20 next thing i know we're waking up having coffee with rob thomas just like you just meet you meet a girl in a hotel

and you wind up going back to her place and then you'd wake up and nobody was there like you'd wake up and like she's gone and her roommate are like you want some eggs and you're like my tour manager's probably looking for it i don't know where you reach out where's your hotel i don't and it's something in german and i don't really know the name of it how would they find you i don't remember like i would literally have to figure out how to get back towards the hotel, especially like overseas, because in the hotel there's no bus or anything to do with. When it was on the road, usually I had a partner in crime. It was like me and another band member would like leave the gig, walk right out of the front door with like some people we met and just go to their house

and like have some big party. Awesome. And then we would always try, like the only good thing was you had to know, you had to know the pager number of your tour manager. Like that was the key. If you knew that by heart, then you could pretty much accomplish anything. we should go back to that man let's just scale it back down and i've been married for 27 years so i wouldn't i wouldn't say this for my marriage now but could you imagine like when i'm younger and i was starting out and you go on the road and you're just like oh i'm getting on a bus i'll call you when i'm near a phone yeah i can't imagine that that's why i know my relationships worked out and i'll have so much to say to you of course everyone doesn't like phones you're running out

stuff to say there's no yeah my wife and i like i'm just like we've been texting all day i can follow your day. Yeah. I'll tell you how your day was. I'll tell you exactly what you did. Because we were texting about it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I think there is a thing.

What I love about, um, this is like the, obviously the best relationship I've ever been in, but one of my favorite parts is there is no like, okay, uh, call me when you get there or call me, it's, we just text like, almost like I'm here, like in town. Yeah. So it's, so when I come home, I could tell her everything that happened. Yeah. My wife and I text in the house, like, we spend most of our mornings, like, I wake up, I'll bring her some coffee and I'll, like, go work.

out or go, you know, the studio or be doing something in the house, and she's upstairs doing stuff, and we might not see each other until one, and we're just kind of, like, texting each other. Yeah, that's great. Their distance does make the heart grow fonder. If you, if, like, people that are up in each other's butts, you're like, yeah, I would hate this relationship. I mean, like, now, the reason why I'm married is because, like, now I'm going to be gone, and I'm not sure if we're going to be together for the month and I'm in Australia, and that bums me out, and then that's why I'm married. That's, because it's not, like, I'm not looking forward to that separation. Not like, getting away, get to have some fun. You're like, dude,

I'm going to, who am I going to hang with? Yeah, I don't believe, like, I, I don't believe in, like, boys' night. Like, I, I'm, my life is a boys night out. That should be a phase. Yeah. When you're in your 20s and you're looking for someone, have boys' nights out. When you're in your 30s, hey, if you're in your late 30s or 40s and you go through a divorce, have a boys night out. Yeah.

But the point is you want to find someone that you're like, I like coming back to hang out with you. My question about phones to you is how much has it affected music, like, how much has it affected your interaction with the audience? I mean, there's a, smartphone specifically, like. Yeah, there's a thing there. right there's a there's a there's a physical barrier now between you and a lot of the fans sometimes which is kind of a weird thing because everybody's because they're looking at you through a thing yeah I mean thank God like there are certain times where 20 years later I I can go back on YouTube and like figure out what guitar we were using on what song when we used to play it you know that's it like are like

we used to do the cover like no we used to do this and you pull it up you know that's awesome um but I remember hearing like I remember reading I'm not it's not about the shows it's about the fucking street yeah I mean that's the thing like I remember being a kid and starting out in this business and like making some horrible mistakes, but then learning from them and moving on. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, like getting into some fight in a bar and rolling out. Like if that would have been everywhere. It would have been now. I mean, and also, when I think about the Bieber's of the world, like there's a, there's a sadness there of like, man, you know, you don't get time to make your own mistakes. To grow into it.

I think about that. We talk about this all the time with stand up where it's like young comics now have to put up their stand up immediately. Yeah. Like they're doing it for a year and they're like, here's my jokes. Dude, it gives me nausea to watch myself before year five. I'm like, what are you doing? What are you talking about? I don't want that up there. My first, so they always, there's an old adage that like if you make a record,

your first record is the record that you have your whole life to make. And then your second record is like your sophomore record. Sure. But the band that I was in when I first got signed, we had this very litigious breakup. And I was so fucking mad because I didn't know anything. and I signed away, all the songs that I had written, I signed away to all of us, right? Yeah.

And so they're like, well, you know, you can't go anywhere with these songs and we're gonna, but, da-da-da. So within like six months before the first Matchbox record, I wrote that record, all except for one song. No way. Out of what? Out of like, out of like frustration with the band.

I was like, you know what? You keep those songs. I don't fucking need them. And the thing, the point is when I listen. Now they're haunted by the songs. They're not, they're not good songs. And that's the point. I mean, like, it's funny that they had those songs, and you're like, yeah, keep that.

Watch this. It's 3 a.m. I'm my crack, you motherfuckers. But, like, when I listened to that earlier stuff, I was like, holy shit, that would have never gotten me where I'm at now. Yeah. That stuff was regional. You know, like, when you hear something, the best way to describe it is like, oh, that's regional.

Yeah, it's also like, similarly what we're talking about, there's benefits and failing. Yeah. There's benefits and failing because you go, that's not the way to do it. Yeah. Let me try it again. And then this time, it's fucking what you know me for. or it's like way better. And I feel that way about stand-up.

I even feel bad because, like, I was doing a show, I was doing Joe List's show with, like, Mark Norman and Louis. And we're sitting there watching Norman, and I said something to Louie, and Louie goes, how long you've been doing this? And I was like, 20 years. And he's like, you don't know anything. Not until you're like 30 years in and you're like, that's crazy.

Yeah. Because I am like. Because I am like. 20 years, you were like patting yourself in the back. Yeah, you go, oh, a 20-year vet. And then this guy goes, no, you don't even know shit. And he's right. Right.

Because there's stuff that you figure out that you go, I wish I fucking knew this. Well, especially, like, even more, I think for you, I mean, writers in general. Sure. But more for you because this is like a, there's a real time correlation between everything that you've learned and what you're about to say about it.

Yeah. You know? I think there's, I mean, see, I feel opposite. I feel like with songwriting, that's like such a place where you have to put real emotion that you're like, it just lives in this jar. You do, but it's like stand up. You go, I was kidding.

If anyone's mad about it, you go, it's a fucking joke. songs are like, I meant that shit, I fucking meant that shit. I think that's like why Big Jay and I always used to joke around that we don't have the thing in us to be serious to be like, I fucking love you. Right. I was kidding. Oh, fuck. I'm a pussy. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. That's fucking great. Oh, dude. We, um, there was a day where you came into serious XM and we're I, I ran into Joe on the street. He was having a cigarette outside of him. Oh, Big Jay? Yeah, when you guys, you guys were doing, and I was a fan of the, of the, the show.

I never believed him. Yeah. I never believed that he ran into you. I heard you guys talking about it. Because I didn't believe him until right now and Rob telling me this. I always thought Jay was fucking with me. I just saw him outside having a cigarette

and I came over. I was just like, I was like, I'm a big fan of you guys. Yeah, he was like, Rob Thomas likes us. I was like,

yeah, sure, Jay. Fuck you. You know? And then you're like, oh, fuck. But we were,

we were like, we're always blown away. I always love when you find out people like what you do. Have you found someone that likes your shit that like obviously, you collab with Santana or whatever,

but has there been someone in music that has came up to you and you're like... You've heard my shit. Like, like, Nikki Glazier came to our show the other day. And like, and I'm just like, holy shit. And then the second time she came, I was just like, you're famous now.

Look at you. Yeah, look at you. Host an award show. It's getting big. But I think, like, has, was there been other musicians that have heard your shit? When Smooth first came out,

I knew that it was going to be hit because I was walking through. It was the bellage at the time in L.A. And Jason from Metallica When he was still in Metallica Came over and he's just like Dude that fucking song rocks And I was like

Yeah Did that make you feel like Oh fuck? Yeah because I mean that's like I mean dude You know my family's Bay Area family So Santana was like Yeah

70s and he's such a monster I mean yeah Do you see him ever? Because he's all the time 76 Well I mean we talk like we talk all the time That's awesome Like we send each other songs back and forth

And like when we're working on new stuff we'll share it. And if we're both on the road, we talk almost every night because we'll, like, get off the stage and be bored and just be like, start texting each other.

So, like, comics. Yeah. Because that's what you do. When we know we're on the road, you're like, hey, you're in fucking Iowa City right now. You're awake. Yeah.

What are you? For real. I have, I have more confidence in calling my comedian friends at like midnight more than noon. Yeah. Because noon,

I'm like, I don't even know they could be traveling or sleeping. But if I call them at midnight, I'm like, where are you at? Yeah, I know you're up. Or if I see them make an Instagram post and they'd be like, great show Baltimore and you're like, this motherfucker's up.

Yeah. You're either up because you had a great show. Are you just killing yourself because you didn't? Yeah. Or you're outside smoking a joint and you're like, hey, I think weed's still like super illegal here. So I just want to talk to someone as I walk around this empty business parking lot. What's your favorite city to go to? Because I feel like you've, you've been on the road for over 30 years. So as there's still cities, I'm getting like, I get to the point now where I go to a city and I go, I think I like this more. like Indianapolis. Yeah. I think I like you more

than I did last time. Yeah, I mean, I think it really goes because I'm a narcissist to some degree to do that. Like you have to be a narcissist to some degree to be like, oh, I have thoughts

and you need to fucking hear them. Yes. You know, it's absolutely me first. Yeah. You know what I knew I knew I was a narcissist when I had the realization because I used to be so scared

of flying on a plane. Sure. And I used to think of the irony factor, right? Like the first time, like if I was like, oh shit, I just got, I did Letterman for the first time. That would be, that would be ironic.

You're looking for your La Bamba theory. Right. But you're like, it's finally happening. I realized that I realized that I was a narcissist because I wasn't thinking about the other 300 fucking people on the plane and like somehow they were just extras in my story. Beautifully put. And I'm going to tell you right now, this is how bad narcissist comedians are. I've had conversations about this of being on planes and going, well, yeah, if we died, they're going to mention you, not me.

Tim Garthikin did that to me. Yeah. That's exactly, that's such comic brain to go. You're the headliner. We were on a plane coming back, and it was like we had borrowed a private plane because we were doing this event. It was me, Kiefer Sutherland, and Jim Gafferkin. Great lineup.

Somebody else. And as we're on the plane, and when we hit turbulence, Gaffingin's like, nobody's going to mention me. Yeah, and the only way they would is if to make the headline about it. And then he's like, yeah. No laughing matter. Keeper Southern, Rob Thomas, and comedian. Oh, fuck.

That's the one that would hurt everybody If you go comedian Like Gaffigan's like comedian I've done 15 specials Yeah that's always where entertainers are That's why I don't think entertainers should ever give Advice to people Yeah

Because we're so inside our own brains You're like I don't know how to help you Yeah I don't know Maybe you can listen to something that I say It'll help but I'm not gonna tell you That's my answer now Especially for younger generations Like

Every time I've released a record Over the last 20 years It's been a different landscape And people are experiencing music differently and people are putting it out in different ways. So, like, when I talk to my son about his band, I'm like, I don't know that I can talk to you about songwriting. I can talk to you about intention when you do something musically.

But when it comes to, like, releasing something, I don't know. Have you seen anything in the music business that's been like almost cyclical, like come back around where you go like, oh, singles were big when I started and now they're bigger again? I mean, formats, but it's more kits, right? LPs, people are like, oh, I love my LPs or I like cities again. I'm not, you know. But I wonder to that because, like, I started in, you know, before I did comedy, I was like,

I think open racism is coming back. Yeah. You guys have seen that. I think a lot of crazy shit's coming back. But I also think like, I used to work at like a rock radio station. That's like where I started. And it's interesting. Was it in Colorado?

I started in Tucson at KFMA. Shout out KFMA day. Um, but it was interesting because it was like that is now nostalgic. Like all the alternative, like you're seeing young kids that have no idea. Yeah. wearing Nirvana shirts and shit and you're like, oh fuck, all right, it's coming back around. Kind of like the way the 70s did when we were growing up

became cool for us to like like shit from the 70s. Yeah, the 90s, I mean, I think 90s is coming through in a really big way. Would you ever do, I always, so here's my, I hate when celebrities do commercials, specifically like gambling ones or AI ones, stuff that celebrities that I know are making a ton of money. I'm like, you don't need this.

Right. The only time I feel good about it is when I go like those nostalgia tours. you know what I'm talking about where they're like early 2000 R&B ones and you go or like rock bands have you guys ever been pitched on those

we have we it's kind of a rule with us is like we don't you don't want to because I'm like well we're we were we were we were we would be on like the early 2000s that was like our our heyday right yeah who yeah who would you book that who would you book if you were to do one like an ultimate like a graduating class right third eye blind sick I mean all right I'm already

buying a ticket You're telling me, the goo-goos, for sure. Go-Goo dolls, fucking bring it, dude. I'll bust out my- Like, we're, like, we've done tours with, with us and the crows. But, like, the crows came out before. Sure.

Like, like, I remember being, like, we were a young band doing counting crows covers, like, at colleges, you know, when we were playing. Dude, I mean, and Adam knows. Yeah. He created a whole genre for dudes. That's, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know what's funny, dude?

I don't have a, this is no joke. I don't think you're going to hit me with an ad of a perfect. I'm gonna fucking, I have a, I have a Zoom call with Adam on the ride home today. No shit. Yeah, that's so fucking funny. Yeah, dude, I mean, what's funny about counting Crow's music is it's either super flirtatious or the saddest shit you've ever heard. Yeah, totally.

You go, I'm gonna do long December and make you cry. And now he's, I don't know if you've heard any of the newer stuff, but it's like, it's like those old Springsteen, they're like 10 minutes long and they don't really have a verse and a chorus. They just meander into like these stories. Just about a guy losing a job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, yeah.

And the guy on the street takes his shoes in his feet. He puts him downstairs and he doesn't care. And he walks. Yeah, I'm ready for that version of Counting Crows. Yeah, it's awesome. Of like 10-minute long songs. It's really fucking good. Yeah.

When's the next time, now that the solo album, you just finish that tour. Yeah, I'm going to Australia in a couple weeks solo still. So that's the thing about touring with you guys that I think is absolutely fucking insane is we go Thursday to Sunday and we bitch. Like we're on the road. You're gone a month, two months. Yeah. What's the longest? you'll go out now.

Like the matchbox, last matchbox tour was almost like four months. Which is crazy. How many times in those four months did you go to your house? Just one like three week period

when I was basing out of jerseys and Pennsylvania's and things like that. And then my wife would like, we try to not be apart more than two weeks. So she would come either meet the bus or maybe leave once we was in New York. She'd jump on the bus

and then ride for a while. So as long as I'm with her, I'm home. It's not that big of a deal, you know, like to not be in my house. Yeah. I would, I think if I ever went homeless, my, my, I would squat.

I'd look at who's on the road. If I wasn't married, I'm going to get to their house and squat. I would live on a bus, really? It would be the greatest ever. You think, so if, if you were not married, you'd just live on that bus. I could see that happening. You could do that that comfortably? I think so.

Damn, if I could pull it over, like, you know, just pull up my friend's yards and be like, yeah, you got a TV, got a bathroom. I could still like, you know, Carlos has a great beach house in Hawaii, so boom, I could take, that could knock out a month right there. That is sick. That also sounds like, a professional. That sounds like a great restaurant, Carlos's Beach House. Yeah.

Have you been to Carlos's Beach House in a whole? It's fucking great. It's the crab cakes? Oh my God, they do, I'm telling you right now, the crab cake. It's the aioly. They do a Ceviche that'll make you shit. Yeah, I've not gotten comfortable on the bus, and I know a lot of comics that, like, do the bus thing, the, um, sometimes I got to poop in the middle of the night.

Right. Well, you can poop on the bus now. Yeah, dude. What? What? Fuck AI. Let me tell you about the future. Comics buses.

You can poop on your bus. We're both looking at each other like... My bus driver has a theory that you always actually could poop on buses, but because normally a bus has like a lot of people on it, they just don't... After a while, that's a lot of poop. You know what I mean? Yeah, and you don't want to beat Dave Matthews and just dump it on a river in Chicago. Like I was Willie Elson when I was hanging with Willie on his bus and he was just talking

about how he never gets off the bus. Even when he gets home, he parks his bus outside. and, like, we'll do his laundry in his house, but stays on the bus most of the time. That's so funny that he's, like, just thinking of going, Willie, get off that damn bus. And he's like, I ain't coming off my bus. That's why he's been married five times.

Yeah, because he goes, he goes, if you want to see Willie, you're going to have to get on the bus. His weed, by the way. I like that because he was talking about his dick, too. Do you get it? Do you get it? Talk about that Willie Bus. Willie Nelson's weed was, I don't know if you ever smoked it.

The Willie's Reserve. Dude, I turned Willie on this weed back in the, the day when you still had to, like, have a guy that you knew to get weed, like in California. We used this guy named, uh, name, um, we can, we can blur it. Cartoon. It doesn't matter. Yeah. But, so I was on the cover at high time, so I can't hide the fact that I was. That's sick. That is a cool. That's the coolest magazine cover to be a part of. I, I, we hung out with Willie for like two or three days. We were writing some music and I called my guy and the guy came over, but the kind of caveat like it is sometimes we had to

listen to his demo tape. And it was like a fucking bad metal band. And all the songs were like, you know, Satan's spawn and it was all like super, like crazy, crazy metal, but then I get home like two weeks later. Well, real quick, though, can I just tell you? I have to interrupt right here. It's, it is so soothing to know that famous people have to sit through the weed dealer, smoke a bowl, listen to their stories. It's the best thing that you have to weigh worse.

It's the best part of legalization of weed is that you no longer have to pretend to have a friend. Yeah, go, oh, that's so cool. I really want to hang out in your apartment, but I got to get out of here. When he played the demo, is it you and Willie? Me and Willie. And then I fucking left for a minute. I just left Willie in there for like five minutes.

But so he plays all this stuff. And then like two weeks later I get home and I get a call on my phone. And it's like, and my message. And it's like, hey, Rob, it's Willie. I'm in L.A. And I need to get the number for that devil weed. He goes, I want to sign that guy to my label. I'm just kidding.

I need his weed. His band sucks ass. He did. He's like, I hope his weeds better than his music. Oh my God. Dude, imagine the thought of playing a shitty song for you and Willie Nelson. And they're going like, uh-huh. And I'm not, and did he, I mean, it was like six songs and he played them all.

No, he didn't. Yeah. Were you getting high during it at least? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I was going to say, if he was making you wait to smoke weed, I'd be like, this deals over. I don't miss that at all.

Yeah. The getting weed, when I moved to New York, I, especially when I moved to Queens, I learned the, oh, I have to go get in the back of a car that just pulled up and then drive around. Wasn't a fan of that. I want to get high, so I'm going to put my life in my own hands. And it would just be a tinted out Cadillac and I'd get in and I'd be like, hey, I'm Dan. That was like my whole life when I was hitchhiking

because that's the whole idea, like three in the morning. It's like fucking weirdo roulette. Would you, when you're hitchhiking and you're in Florida, one of the most dangerous places to hitchhike, what weapon do you have on you? My wits. No way.

You're just going to fool them into letting you out? I'm my wits and a keyboard. Weren't you worried about like crazy people picking you up? I had, I had, like, I had some, a few different things. Like, a guy that once was really convincing me how I needed to get into porn, but I had to do gay porn because that's where the real money was. Yeah, dude. And by the way, I bet he thought he was cooking.

Yeah. I bet he was like, I got this guy. That's the guy. And he goes, hey, you, I'm telling you, it's a good life. And then I had one guy, he pulled me, he pulled over, and I put my stuff in the back of his truck and we were driving along, and he was eerily quiet, kind of scary quiet. Yeah. And he's got these golf clubs in the back.

So I'm trying to break up. up the silence and I go I was like hey so you you play golf and he looks over and I'll never forget this because he says it's fucking verbatim he goes listen here son I'm a gay person do you mind if we pull over up here and I suck you you go no but I like that you're right to the point such a nice guy and I go I go no and he goes oh no and he reaches over to kind of grab grab start like grab really grabbing at me yeah and so I just started like messing with the gear shift as we're driving on the road and the trucks, you know, starts blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so then I jumped out, I got my bag, and he just drove off.

Yeah, and he goes, oh, for one today. Yeah, another one down. Yeah, he's like, hey, you know what? You're going to lose some worms if you're going fishing. You miss 100% of the shots. Yeah, that's what he thinks. He goes, I don't know, you get three out of ten, you're a Hall of Famer in baseball. Yeah, that is wild.

I like, there is, you didn't think about, like, the direct approach of just going, I'm a gay man, I'd like to pull over here, and I'm a suck you. I'm a suck you. It's so funny. Yeah. I'm a suck you. There's something very polite about it. Yeah.

It's the A. If you don't mind. It wasn't if you don't mind. If you're not busy. Yeah. I know you're getting nothing going on. My mouth. You're a dick right now.

And then we don't worry about golf. We don't talk about golf in this club. We only talk about gay blow jobs. That's really funny. No golf talk. Only gay sucking in here. Was there ever a moment in hitchhiking? What was your last hitchhike?

Do you remember? I was like 30. No. Yeah. Your last week just to get home. I don't remember the last one. I think it was like low, it was fun. It was me and my buddy.

We were hitchhiking from one part in Florida to another part in Florida. But we met up with like a car full of these girls that drove us to this party. And we hung out there to like 10 in the morning the next morning. And then they kind of drove us back and dropped us back off. And it was the greatest story of all time. It was nice. So you go, I'm going to leave on a win. Yeah.

That's the best way to do it. Hitchhikers, if you're watching this, leave on a win. Don't get sucked. Don't get sucked. Don't get sucked. Don't get sucked. And leave on a win. You're doing the Australia tour.

Where after that? So then I'm going to come home, a bunch of like one-off stuff. Next year we're starting at the Matchbox 2030th anniversary. So we'll start like maybe some festivals. That'll be fucking big. Not 90s festivals. No, you don't do them. Don't try to book them on that.

All right. We want to be like we'd rather be. Our thing is we'd rather be like at one o'clock in the afternoon in a festival that we would want to go see than be the headliner of like a festival that we don't want to be at. That's my, my thing is you guys are. a successful band that I'm talking about when I see bands from the 90s that I like maybe think what have like one or two hits and I see them on that thing my thought is never I go get paid it's a good yeah I like that there's a I think those festivals exist for a reason same way

uh cruise ship comedians yeah I go fucking get paid I used to feel that way about corporate gigs like got that corporate gigs were kind of lame yeah but then to me it's it's a very honest way to make a buck you play music someone pays you to play music that's kind of what I do yeah there are I think there are, I think there should be like a consciousness of how well you're, like, my problem is the guys that are doing so well, taking checks that you go, well, I know you don't need that. And that makes me feel gross as a fan. Right. But when there's guys that you're like, like what I'm talking about, guys, you haven't heard since like 97, you go, fuck yeah. Yeah. Go get that. I hope you are all right. Yeah. That's how I feel about commercials when

I see songs on it. Totally. Get them that fucking check. When we were coming up in the 90s, like commercials were the, it was the biggest no, no. You don't do any ads. You don't do anything ever. I'm fascinated with this subject because you're right it was like selling out was a gross thing there was fucking rm would never do that nirvana would never do that you'd never give it to you go by that like what were these these bands would never do that but then when things started to take a turn in the traditional sense of the music business it was only bands like death cap for cutie and wilco and those bands that were doing these commercials all of a sudden they were like the coolest of all bands they were doing the commercials because they weren't making arena money yeah they were

they were they had they had integrity and they were like you know playing they They had a small group of people that cared about them a lot. But isn't that funny, though, that they were, like, so focused on having integrity and being small that they end up doing the most sellout thing, which is, like, giving it to a Ford truck? Yeah. Where it's like, Ford Ram will follow you under the darkness. And it's like, Death Cab for Cutty playing.

And you're like, this fucking, this is fucking wild. You're like, I don't think this is going to be a thing. Because I have, like, a small theory that I think rock music has been dating. damaged by truck commercials. Did it start with Bob Seeger and like a rock? Kind of. I mean, that's the first one that comes to mind.

I got into a big fight about that with Willie Nelson, of all people we were talking about. We were just talking about. And I was like young, super idealist. Sure. You don't fucking, you know, you don't do this. You don't, if you're not an actor, you don't.

And Willie was like, well, I've been in like seven movies, Rob. And I'm like, okay, not you. I mean, I'm doing that. I do that all. I do that all the time with Carmere and go, you don't do that. All right, well, you did it. But that's, I like you.

The way you did it, that was right. Yeah, but I, my buddy Brendan Sagalow goes on the road with me and I'll, like, we'll be driving somewhere and I'll have my phone, so I'll be playing like my music and it'll be a rock song. And one time he went, it just all sounds like truck commercials now. So now whenever a rock song comes on without a habit of ours is going like, with the new F-150, you've got tow capacity up to 35. You're not wrong.

I, um, I, there was a hinted, like the other day there was a commercial on in the Goo Goo Goo dolls where it was a for a car commercial sure and I was there's a half of me that was just like oh man I can't believe and the other half is like me I can't believe I didn't get that commercial that's the same thing about the plane going down it's the same thing about the plane going down that narcissism of like why didn't Ford want my song yeah I would be I don't want to do it but I want them to want me yeah you go I don't know I think it'd be pretty sick to have a hemmy yeah I would want that that is it's very funny it's also like it feels good to know that everybody feels that way.

Yeah. Because I think what sucks the most is when you think you're the only one that thinks that way and then you think there's something wrong with you. And you're like, no, no, no. I mean, right down the street, somebody feels like that. I mean, with whatever like inner office politics somewhere like, you know, that people are getting, it's the same thing. It's the same thing.

There's a certain level of, you know, of this, there's a hierarchy and there's a jealousy. Yeah. And there's a, you know. You can work at a company where you are doing great work and you're doing it the right way and then you're going to watch a complete sociopath. You cares nothing about the quality of work, but knows how to like network go up and then you go, fuck, and you go, that's the entertainment industry, brother.

Yeah. There's people willing to, it is. It's just a way, willing to cut the back of your knees to get ahead. It's not called show friends. And you print that shit. The new album All Night Day, out now. Rob, you're the fucking man. So, I'm so excited.

Who do you said yes to do in this podcast? Can I tell you this, by the way, I drove straight through on the bus from L.A. to here and only did one stop because I had to get back in time to be able to do this podcast and I was like whatever I got to fucking do I'll make it work because I'm such a fan dude I mean I'm a comedy nerd yeah like you blew my mind that you loved the bonfire and I can't

tell you how much that meant because when we found out that you heard us doing that thing where we were going I think we did for like 30 minutes we're going damn me yeah you did it was hilarious it was fucking hilarious but how the fact that two stoners smoked a joint outside

we smooth was playing in the lobby and that's why we were doing it to make each other laugh the fact that you heard that and found it funny both Jay and I were like Roth Thomas is the fucking man

Well I mean I like that was You I fucking think like Jay his His whole bit about his daughter's Bush Is like one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my entire life I'm telling you right now Big Jay Ocerson is Ernest Hemingway of pussy jokes

But not only that he's one of the funniest human beings of all time So the fact that like you heard our silliness And we're like oh no that's fun as shit You're like oh that's the best No, it was, I really was, I wanted to do anything I could to be here, man, because I'm a fan of your podcast, I'm fan of your comedy. You're the man, Rob Thomas.

This is just me saying Rob Thomas is the man. Check out the new album, all night day. And, yeah, dude, I want to come out and see you like shows. Let's go. Yeah, hell yeah. Well, I want to get high with Rob Thomas. Dude. Thank you.