Soder - Dad Cleavage with Joe List | Soder Podcast | EP 5

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

This episode Dan is joined by comedian Joe List. Joe is a new father and talks about the issues that come with fatherhood. Drop us a rating on itunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. Dan is on the road! Get tickets @ https://www.dansoder.com/tour New Jersey | Dec 15 Philly | Dec 16 Boston | Feb 17 2024 Follow Joe List https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/?hl=en Connect with me! Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  @homelesspimp  https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

I have a wife who occasionally, I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, who will occasionally f*** me, birthday, Easter Sunday, whatever, and she said what she hates, it hurts. She's like, my jaw hurts after a few minutes. Keep your jaw open and suck. I know, and I have a small mouth. Yeah, I know. It hurts to talk. You're in pain right now my child's

mouth is bigger than mine is there any jealousy from that immediately a little he does a yawn and i'm like how did you just do that that was crazy stop it it must be how uh little people feel when they have regular sized babies that they immediately are like you're already out of it yeah that's weird how do you parent your child when they're that much larger than you if you're like, you're already out of it. Yeah, that's weird. How do you parent your child when they're that much larger than you? If you're a little person and you have a regular-sized baby, by the age of seven, you're running the household. I think we should cut this whole thing.

This is bad. We can't make fun of little people. I'm not making fun of anybody. Yes, you are. Dan hates little people. Dan is little people-phobic. Do you know my aunt had that? Dude, I did not know that, but I have a story about a lady that has that. Wait, tell me about your aunt, because I have a story. I was you know my aunt had that dude i did not know that but i have a story about a lady

that has that wait tell me about your aunt because i have a story my aunt karen did a lot of drugs when she was a teenager in the bay area and she did her and her friend did like 10 hits of acid this is like early 70s i already am in love with this story and they were in downtown san francisco and they were in a marriott i don't know why but they went by accident to the banquet hall level and it was a little person's banquet so they got off the elevator high as fuck on acid and it was just all little people and to the day she died she could not see a little person on screen without being like turn it off we watched austin we watched austin powers the spy who shagged me and she had a full meltdown when mini me showed up so this is fascinating so this is a weird thing because i'm like how does this work like

is this a phobia this is like a in-depth conversation we get into because this is is this like a mental disorder dysphobia or is it just bigotry it's not bigotry i think it legitimately is a phobia but it also it's a human being who can't control this and you can't be around like what if i was like i can't even look at a black person if we're watching the cause we show i'm like break the tv and your only story is you did a hit of acid and went to a a black meeting yes like i don't, there was a bunch of them around and now I'm fucking fried. Well, it is weird because you're like,

well, because racism essentially is a mental disorder. Well, it's just a form of stupidity. You believe through stupidity that there is, all these things exist. But that's like learned behavior. So was my aunt stupid

towards little people? I don't know because sometimes if you just have a physical reaction You can't control what I'm telling you right now when if they would come up when little people would come on the TV She'd like this We got some in third It's called

anchored anchovies Is it like a peanut allergy like you just are born with it and show dro plastiophobia and and and intro intro intro drove plasophobia intro plus that sounds right the fear of little people although this term is not used anymore i like that they put it in there and then hold on i'm just reading it's like you're putting the n-word in Wikipedia Totally inappropriate is considered

The fear of little people or will bleep that out That is so fucking listen to the rest of the explanation because it really doesn't even tell you about the phobia. It just says, is the fear of little people or midgets? Although this term is not used anymore as it's considered offensive to people with dwarfism. That's hilarious. They spent most of the paragraph going, don't call him that. It's like going to like Elton John's Wikipedia and he's like, he's a fucking homo. But don't call him a homo.

We don't really. He's not really that. It's also called nanosphobia or lollipop gildophobia. That can't be true. No. That cannot be true. That's, this is, come on. You went to like the onion or whatever.

You went to the funniest response possible. Then they go midget. But we don't say that. It's like right after that they go but be cool on that don't throw the midge word out so then there's also latrophobia which is also something like cbt that's popping out whoa dog fear of dwarfs called yeah this is this is crazy but do you see my point because i also i met a woman and and i was at she's someone maybe you've met her too and i i'm not gonna i don't want to say her name or where she worked because this is

horrible but she was in the industry the industry side of things and i was talking to her one time at a thing and we were bullshit and she had a couple drinks and our friend nick novicki yeah i love nick novicki one of our good buddies he's the best me and him have the same head say yeah you guys look very similar. Different bodies. We did a face swap on Instagram or whatever. They're doing that face swap technology. Same face. It's crazy. Yeah. You guys look

very similar. It's nuts. But he walked in. Great comic. Great actor. Good buddy. Some of the best stories ever. I mean. But he walked in and she didn't know that I know him or she doesn't know him she was like oh my god it's a little person i can't and she was like he's coming over he's coming over oh my god and i was like this is vital hey guys and she's like oh dude i'm not kidding

she was like did like a fucking like did this i couldn't look over and uh you know we hug and say hello and catch up whatever this is like 15 years ago like a hands up like no she like looked away and i think she threw up i'm not kidding and i was like that's the most insane thing and i was like what like a vile human being this is and someone was like no that's a real phobia and i've wanted this so then you're the bad guy for being like hey you're shitty and someone goes like no no no she actually is afflicted with something well that's the thing i'm like is like fucking uh you know george wallace does he just have a phobia i went with a senator from our governor from 300 years ago but when he had a lot of phobias against a lot of people i mean it's just it feels a little strange and i also thought you meant the black comedian

no no no i meant governor wallace from alabama george Alabama 19 what is even notorious thing against it is it's it's like to dislike a group of people in today's modern age yeah and then it'd be like no no it's scientific everyone's like but I guess I mean I guess if you look at like I said it's like a peanut allergy if you look at someone and make them throw up. My aunt would not. The immediate reaction. It made me laugh every time. It's very funny. The immediate reaction.

I was like, wait, you're really not it? She'd be like, please, please get it off the screen. Now, what about like Gary Veeder? Does she get a little bit sick? Like five foot? Just like a five foot three guy? Is she like, ooh. Hold on.

I'm sorry. My mouth is watering. She's like, like no it's fine i just i sorry it takes me a moment and does the reverse does she get around like a seven foot four person and be like oh i feel great who was i just watching oh tom segura's special was he talked about meeting a seven foot person and it was weird you want him to pick the immediate response has to be please pick me up i mean how do you not how do you not be around someone that large and not just want to feel safe? Remember we have that photo of you holding Vitor. Louis J. Gomez is holding James and I'm holding Vitor in the same way.

We got to find it and plug it in right here. Oh, we'll find it. We'll put this clip out. It is crazy to me, though, that you can just get away by being like, no, no, no, no. It's a phobia. Oh, women with small tits. Sorry, it's my phobia oh that's that's the opposite of a phobia for me baby oh no we're flipped we've always been oh yeah we've talked about this i love small i did big tits i just find gross and i want to suck your dick so i don't know what's up with me and joe immediately will be

like what are they're all big and messy and you're like yeah it's like when someone goes like ah those ribs aren't good they get all over your face and you're like that's what i want but i did this bit for a long time i think about small tits it's an investment they stay good longer because fat tits eventually they just turn to and they get stretchy and bad a nice little bowl of pudding i don't like putting who doesn't like mushing them up and lifting them up the mush is nice you see people work like gum or when you see them in factories like taffy yeah like taffy just old taffy tits dude just pushing them together and mushing them well come on man all that extra meat what are we talking about here's my thing with the tip i guess there's the pencil test yeah a pencil you put a pencil in

it if you can hold but i also i when I have a woman sitting on my face, in the old days, a woman sitting on my face, the puss, I want to look up and there's no fold. The tit comes straight from the torso and out. I want to know you have a balcony. I want to know that you're up on your balcony watching the sunset, having a good time. I shouldn't have, you shouldn't be able to lift a tit.

Love it. I love lifting, moving, slapping. Oh, Daniel. And Dog Belly. Check out Dog Belly on YouTube. Big Jay's special. He talks about... Oh, the special.

Great. I watched that special. He talks about slapping tits. But then he says, my girlfriend has small tits. So it looks like I'm just disciplined. Someone at the mall. He goes, stop it. It makes me laugh so hard.

I like a handful of tit. I want my fingers to touch the body right here just a real boy i tell you about the time that a stripper found money under her tit in front of me and it ruined no but that's hilarious we went to uh the diet i think it was diamond cabaret in denver and it's you know topless but they wear thongs because they so they can sell alcohol and it was like a weekday and there's four stages and three of the stages all the stages had dancers like cancer yeah stage two you're getting real sexy stage four you're the sexiest that's just unbelievable you have inoperable sexiness you're at stage stage four. That's funny. So all the stages had women dancing and people around it except one stage. The strippers were just getting up and dancing for no one.

And so I went and took my beer and my ashtray and my ones and I sat and I was like, hey, you got an audience member. Are you sure? And this woman had massive tits and she was dancing around or whatever. And then she took her bra off and she was like doing the sexy thing. And then she went like and lifted her massive tit and pulled out a hundred dollar bill. A hundred? A hundred.

And went like this and opened it and showed it to me and went a hundred. In a way, in a way that stopped i was like i can't i can't watch you be fake sexy now because she was legitimately blown away like huh like like you found it in your coat and we were walking somewhere you'd be like wow a hundred yeah see i don't like this but i don't like big tits they're like fucking drawers in your in your desk that's so fun no that's not fun at all that's what you want tiny tits and then there's just yes everything not tiny tits uh b a an a cup i can i can hang with but a b cup even a c is not b's and c's are great there you go we meet in the middle right there yes i'm not talking about f's

i'm just saying i can understand if you got some old taffy F's I don't like a taffy I like a high sitting as a father are you do you I'm terrified when it's all over she's got the machine when you want about it she does the pump yeah we are you have you been in the room to watch has she done any natural I try yeah he

tries it's it's very difficult yeah as you know and or as you've heard I'm sure but I'm sure. I'm just deep into the world of breastfeeding. I have no kids. I'm super read up on breastfeeding. Just on YouTube? Yeah, Katie's like, Dan, it's dinner time. I go, hold up.

So this kid's sucking right out of the nipple. Did you know at age three they start to... Hey, honey, at one point their milk turned sweet. But no, so it is hard because you have to try to avoid uh see you don't want to just see your wife get fed on pumping yeah yeah also that's gonna start some beef with you in the house your son's walking around like i'm sucking on mom's tits i'm like yeah fucking beat it well she'll use the same nicknames for him she'll be like hey care bears and i'm like yo and she's talking to the baby i'm like i'm care bear he doesn't care he doesn't care i love it i didn't think about that i got

the nickname because i care i'm very careful or thoughtful yeah he doesn't care this kid's just walking in what grandfathered in yeah he doesn't give a shit about you not yet he will he will be yes right now well right now he thinks they're the same person i learned that this past weekend because we were just up in massachusetts with katie's brother and her sister-in-law with the baby the niece we should have hung out i was there too i didn't know that i was over there i was in framingham yeah i met you come down from i was at the football game yeah did you go to natek framingham it's so funny you say that her brother and his friend ryan did that's what you do natek framingham i was just trying to explain this i know every rivalry in in massachusetts so you

know about natick framingham i just said it yeah it's crazy it blew my mind because they were like oh do you want to go to the game i'm like what do i don't care about this fucking high school football no i feel bad i brought you to the whitman hansen game 40 years ago it was but we i think we got shit house yeah we were at 9 a.m that was like one of those things where you wake go to a joe list List Thanksgiving when he's drinking. Possibly, I'll tell you this. Hopefully you don't have any more chances. That's hopefully it or else things got real dark.

We'll see. But I remember riding a Peter Pan bus up to see you. Yes. And it was traffic the entire time. I was in gridlock traffic 100% of the trip. One of the most fun things. It was well worth the wait. Getting there and how much fun I had.

God, I remember drunk crying, smoking a cigarette outside of Joe's house because I was having so much fun. I was like, this is what a family is. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. Well, the reason you took the bus, by the way, because I was supposed to come back for a few days and i had spots and we were going to drive up together and i had to call you because i went to the patriots game the week before because all i did was just drive back there

because i was an alcoholic and i wanted to be back in my small pond yeah and i went with uncle dale the patriots game and i was jumping around like a jackass and just fucking like violently sprained my ankle do you remember that yeah i was like i had like a air cast it was like a and i had to i skipped all these spots because i stayed up there i just stayed and then you came and we we got after it we got after it it was uh your your niece jesus i remember um being scared or it was your it was your cousin's daughter was scared at how deep my voice was oh that sounds right it It was hilarious. She was maybe three years old at the time. And she came in and I did like the, and what's your name? And she went, ah, just crying in my face. And I was drunk enough that I was like, do I suck?

Didn't even turn into like, cause your cousin was like, your voice is deep and it's startling. You were like an aunt with a little person. Yeah. It just, she couldn't handle it. She was like, ah, ah. And I was like, what's your name? That must have been 2010 or something like that. It was 2011. It was, no, it was 2012. Was it?

Yeah, because I wore the nicest shirt I had. I think you're right, because it was at the end of my drinking. Yeah, and you quit that. Like a couple weeks later. That was the day you quit. Yeah, like three weeks later. And I remember I wore clothes that I stole from Guy Code to Thanksgiving. Like, that's how I had a button up and stuff.

And your mom was like, that's a nice shirt. And I go, I actually took this. We were busting your balls about something. I can't remember what it was. Oh, Uncle Dale kept getting drunk and being like, I mean, it was butt fumble. Is that right? It was the butt fumble game, Jets-Patriots.

But Uncle Dale kept getting drunk and going, see, you think Joe Montana's better than Tom Brady. And I went, Dale, I don't want to have this argument in a Patriots house. And he was like, you think Joe Montana is better than Tom Brady and Brady hadn't won as many I think there were still like two to go for Brady to win no he must have won three more after that well yeah and I was like Montana has four and he's like

Brady's got four and then I did the well he's never thrown an interception in a Super Bowl and he went all right like watching him get mad. And I was like, please stop this. I don't like any of this. That sounds right. Yeah, it was. I can't remember most of it, but I remember being fucking banged up. Yeah, it was a good time.

Yeah. And then now this is your first Thanksgiving with the boy. Yeah. With the boy. The boy. And yeah, I was excited. Was that family just circling you the whole time? Did you feel like more attention on you now than ever before at Thanksgiving?

Well, there's more attention on him. Yeah. So it's weird. Yeah. And it's hard because like my baby is four weeks old. And so everyone wants to spend time with the baby and wants the baby because they're away from him all the time. But you're also at a phase where you want the baby. Yeah, he's still new.

It's like, well, give me the baby. Yeah. It's my baby. I want to hang out with my baby. Like, you still knew. It's like, well, give me the baby. Yeah. It's my baby. I want to hang out with my baby. It's not like you're like, you take them. When they're three

and they're like, you want them? Which is like the hack. My hope is to never do that joke when people are like, your baby's so nice. Oh, you want him?

Oh, well, you have him. You have him for a couple days. I hate hack fucking bullshit. You're going to catch yourself doing a hack dad joke. Oh, absolutely. And then you're going to be like, and I know you, you're going to beat the shit out of joke oh absolutely and i know you you're gonna

beat the shit out of yourself i know i'm gonna be like damn it i just walked on it before january 4th through the 6th gonna be at the port in baltimore come on out working on new jokes gonna hang out have fun to start off 2024 danceorder.com for full dates and cities i'm gonna be everywhere so we'll see you in the year 2024. Hope you have good holidays, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, all the hits. Happy New Year's and we'll see you in 2024. Thanks for listening. Have you learned, I noticed how good Katie's brother and sister-in-law were at using the baby to get out of stuff. Oh i almost got out of this yeah i was waiting for it when i texted you yesterday i was like if i get a baby text i gotta let him go no i mean i did i

had to i mean i canceled spots tonight because i have the baby because it is actually a lot of it's a human work and stuff yeah i but i do look forward to be the general like ah the baby so we were doing a thing where they would be like 7 30 baby's got to go down and we had an airbnb so it always was katie and i being like ah we gotta go with them right the baby's gotta go down yeah really we just wanted to go back to the airbnb and hang out watch tv and chill. But it was that moment where we're like, what's the baby? It's nice. Although I have been getting better. You and I both working on these things with Alan, our therapist.

I'm better at just being like, ah, nah, I don't feel like doing that. Man, it's crazy. I'm not going to do that. It's crazy. So that helps. But the baby is good for people that you're uncomfortable with, maybe family, whatever. Yeah. That it's harder.

But in general, I feel like I've gotten better at being like nah i'm not gonna do that when when do you think your comic brain i mean both you and sarah are comics when is your comic brain gonna break in when the baby starts laughing and how hard is it gonna be to be like if you have a joke that doesn't work with your baby are you prepared for for that? It's going to be tough. Are you prepared to bomb in front of your son? The hard thing is like the switch from like killing for years to then him like being like, what are you doing? It's not funny,

but there is a chance. I mean, we're looking 13, 14 years in the future. There is a chance though. If you get him with one, you could be like, that could be something if I'm getting this kid.

Yeah. Yeah. No, he'll be a tough audio, but it's not like it's take. Yeah. it takes a while before you can do like adult material yeah five years old yeah but i mean i look forward to it and i have many nieces and nephews of course and derek's kids are sort of excited you got derek your best friend in washington with his kids you got you know your niece and nephew who are teenagers now yeah are and this is just you know your son

might watch this in the future he might be hurt by this but are you going to use any bits you used on your niece and nephew on your son oh yeah of course are you recycling that's my question are you recycling bits yeah yeah oh absolutely because you worked them out for years that's what i mean it's like i was practicing on them for years yeah i'm like cam's gonna be like i remember that bit i remember when he worked that out yeah and then your son's like that's like my favorite bit absolutely i will re-re-gift and re-girgetate are you putting together set lists for when the kid gets older and you're like oh i'm gonna have the nose where'd your nose go well now right now is the time that i'm bombing because he doesn't understand language or anything but i'm giving him some good stuff i literally just said that i was like i was saying

that to steve rogers who's my neighbor and he was hanging out with the baby by the way i'm so fried from not sleeping i mix up words and i felt bad i was trying to compliment steve rogers and i was like when you get older he's gonna drive you crazy with all his jokes but i meant like drive you wild like you're gonna love it yeah but i was like my friend just came to help me with the baby and i was like i'm sorry i write he's gonna make you crazy with all his bits also because most comics that are insecure would take that as like well yeah dude i don't know i'm trying to make them good yeah what do you want me to do i make jokes i also by the way the other day i came home and just threw change in the trash like i had a fit because

i'm fucking so tired yeah i just took a bunch of quarters out of my pocket and just threw change in the trash. Like I had a fit because I'm fucking so tired. Yeah. I just took a bunch of quarters out of my pocket and just threw them in the trash. As soon as I did, I was like, that's not where that goes. Have you gone on the road yet? I have.

I did a corporate in Vegas and I did DC improv. Did you feel guilty sleeping in? I do. I feel guilty every minute. I feel guilty right now. Like being away from Sarah and the baby? Yeah, yeah.

But... Has she... Have you guys had to talk about that? Have you been like... Not really, because I mean like we we do i do well on the road so it's hard listen i saw the post you sold out dc improv i did yeah you know it goes and i did a corporate so which by the way i have to start doing that because i've been doing self-deprecating material for 25 years and people are like your career is in the shitter this is why your career is in the shitter you're like oh i have to start saying i do well and i will say joe all most of that is modesty thank you sometimes you have a bad set but most of the time it's modest every once in a while but at the beginning of our friendship

we both moved to new york in 2007 became fast friends yes you were coming from at the time boston was the city to come from everybody in stand up that was good now it's philly 2023 yeah philadelphia is that we lost the crown you guys lost the crown boston was if someone came up from boston you were like well they're really good you bulger shane moss ira all these people that were coming that you're like, what the fuck? And you know, it was a mix of Knicks, Comedy Studio, the Dick Doherty rooms, all the stuff you guys would do, all the one-nighters,

you guys came and showed up and were just incredible. The Nuggets traded for Allen Iverson and the Celtics got Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. But before they got Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett, you and I were drinking and I was like, the Nuggets are going to have a better season than the Celtics and what I fucking did and I know if you're a sports fan you're like I don't matter this if you are a sports fan you'll understand my pain I talked shit to Joe as the city of Boston was ascending to the greatest run a sports city has ever had you guys had two decades of championships and it maybe

little before the halfway point i decided to talk shit and be like ah you guys stink nuggets are gonna do better no it was crazy i mean it's a crazy run it's a lot of fun it fucking ruled do you so this is the conversation i have with katie and her family oh yeah she's a person person diehard boston sports fan and i said and i try to say this tenderly because i love her very much hard to have sympathy for you when they start losing now the patriots are in the track that's fair but i also always feel like i have to say to people because they're like fuck you whatever i'm like i had 20 years of losing exactly of the patriots were 1 and 15 they're the games were blacked out and i always tell this story i was

just reminiscing to my nephew, who's 15, has only ever seen winning. I remember one of the few connection moments with my dad when we watched Monday Night Football. And I was like, why aren't the Patriots ever on Monday Night Football? And he got misty-eyed and put his hand on my shoulder and was like, Monday Night Football is for the good team. Oh, man.

And I remember being like, oh. Because it was like one of those things. And back then, there wasn't all this football you also didn't have yeah you had cbs or fox and then there was the sunday night was like the garbage game on espn but even fox is in their 30th year so i was 11 like so there was like several years where fox was mbc first it was mbc and cbs right and then they fox got the games. But I grew up completely opposite being a 49er fan. They were on every week.

I lived in Denver and I watched a ton of 49ers games. Of course. And then they get shitty and you're like, this sucks. I don't like being an NFL fan. With your son, are you going to let him choose? He's a New York baby. This is what's tricky. And I don't know where we're going to end up. We're going to maybe move to the's tricky and i don't know where we're gonna end up we're gonna maybe move to the jersey shore or i don't know where we're gonna go but i can't have him i certainly can't have him root for the yankees that would be just devastating

is there any part of yours or sarah's personality that comes through in your son where he does that like fuck it i'm gonna do it like here's a good example michael chey born and raised new yorker loves the 49ers because his brother was a giants fan in the 80s right and that was the rivalry he chose niners to kind of be a little well it's hard because i'm like i don't want my son going to school and fucking on the jersey shore with a red socks which is what you're setting him up to do but it's impossible for me in his formative years not to continue, because now we live in a time where you can get the packages.

So I watch every Bruins game. I watch all the Sox games. I don't watch all the Sox games. It's harder to do. But I watch a lot of Bruins, and I'm going crazy. So he's going to grow up with me going like, fuck your mother, you fucking cunt, the Bruins. So he's actually going to be into the Bruins.

That's what I mean. He'll be a Bruins fan. He'll be a Red Sox fan. He'll probably be a Pats fan. But you want to take him to games. So I have this fantasy. If we move to New Jersey, I can handle the Devils. They're red and black.

I like red and black. It's not really a Bruins rivalry too much. I can't have him root for the fucking Rangers. That's what I mean. As a dad, what's the one team, non-negotiable, he's going to have to be a diehard? With my dad, it was the 49ers. There wasn't even a question.

When I was born in Hartford, he put me in a 49ers onesie and was like, you're going to be a Niners fan. Sure. Is it the Bruins or is it the Sox? I guess the Sox because the Sox is much, even though I'm more of a hockey fan in general, but the Sox are so much more deeply in who you are as a person. And Patriots Day, we go every year.

It's such an important thing for me and my father, the whole thing. Yeah, I mean, getting to go with you to that is one of the most fun things in the world. Yeah, it's fun. I've been trying to get Ari to go for years because he likes to do things and whatever. It's the best. Yeah, it best yeah it is the fucking best it's a by the way a holiday i didn't know wasn't a national holiday until i was like 25 years that's really funny you're just pushing patriots day and everyone's like i don't even know i'm sure

katie had the same thing i mean like it takes a long time before you're like wait what well what's you know what's funny is you've helped me in our friendship because uh i've learned so much about massachusetts culture boston culture that i can speak shorthand with katie because i've learned it from you right like patriots day i know the marathon or whatever and she's like all right like she's mad that i'm not more hyped about it and i'm like why i it doesn't mean anything to me right but now that i'm married in i'm'm going to be married into a Massachusetts family. Does she go? We should come.

You should come. I'll go. We'll go next year. We'll go next year. Yes. We're in. I do. I do a big gig and everything.

Last year I did the Wilbur, which was very exciting. I'm in. We're coming. Come. Katie and I will head up there. Oh, it's the most fun. It's the best day of the year.

You got to come down to Whitman. We play cornhole all day. Even if it's raining, we play cornhole. I would love it. Playoffs. It's the fucking best. I mean, and there, so.

I once watched a Patriots Bowl. And I don't want to name, I don't want to get back to this person. But a good friend of mine came because I was like, all right, you were close enough. I can watch the game with you. He brought his girlfriend at the time. And she's long gone now. But she's just not a football fan and she sat in a chair like where mike is facing us what the whole game that's like i'm watching my team

play it was the falcons super bowl to come back and she was sitting exactly where he is like like looking at me oh no and i wanted to be like i know who it is get the fuck out of my house stop staring at me just Just right in your face. Well, do you remember when you were that person at a sporting event? Whoa. Do you remember? Oh, the Army Vanderbilt game? No, no, no.

Close, close. Oh, God. Was I drunk at least? Yeah. I certainly wasn't with my back to the game looking at you guys. We went to watch Texas versus Alabama at Nate's apartment in Queens. At Nate's apartment in Queens over by the Queens Mall. And we were there drinking, having pizza. We were pretty drunk.

Alabama started blowing out Texas. Colt McCoy got injured. Nate's wife's from Alabama. She's roll tide. And Joe and I are on the couch. Nate's wife's from Alabama she's rolled tied and Joe and I are on the couch and Joe just goes I mean come on Texas make this a game I want to see him

come back and Nate's wife was in the kitchen and stopped whatever she was doing and was just staring at Joe and Joe went well you want to see a good game don't you and it went so flat they were like no we want Alabama to win by 100. Well, I also got in trouble, and I love Laura,

and she loves me, and she's the sweetest. But I also had a couple cocktails, and she was literally cooking for us. And I was like, you're not even watching the game. And Nate was like, I mean, come on. She's making his tenders. And I was like, well, I mean. Dude,'s making his tenders and i was like well i mean dude i forgot about that because she was just in there i only remember jersey on and i was like

she had the bama jersey on and i just remember you going i mean come on texas let's make this a game and she was like but i remember nate being like you don't call out a woman for not watching the game he's like she's having fun she's making food and i was like i don't know i lost i got excited oh god damn it that was one of my sorry lara sorry nate people don't realize with sports it creates more fights than it does bring people together well i've been yeah i've the other day i was working with nate i pointed at you but you weren't there but we were um hanging out and there was like a slight thing of belichick or Brady and it just started and I was kind of like I'm a Belichick guy

but that's what Nate needs but here's the thing I'm like I'm a fan of debate I love debate and arguments and so I'm like I think of it as it's own sport and so I'm like you have to argue you gotta make good arguments sure and for

the the belichick brady i hope we're not losing the whole audience listen this is a sports heavy episode so be it okay well people it started with hot gay sex and then we talked about sports yeah all of all my favorite things but i don't know where you're at with brady or belichick who's but to me it's like you can't... People like to go, well, look at their thing since they parted. Brady won a Super Bowl. My argument...

And Belichick didn't. I'm like, well, people act like that Tampa Bay team was fucking just a piece of shit squad. They were an all-star team. And their front four won the fucking Super Bowl. They had Patrick Mahomes running backwards the whole game. Sorry. Do you want my Brady-Belichick take? I'd rather not, rather not actually yes it's your show of course I don't care we don't

have to I just got the light um I think because of Belichick's defense and his coaching Brady was able to become the greatest quarterback of all time so there is no Brady without Belichick right and I think that that's the proof i always just say i'm like so like you put like brady did a lot of incredible amazing things he is the greatest quarterback of all time he does not agreed he and that you know uncle dale would like to hear that now dale you finally got your you got it but you put prime at their best josh allen uh rogers, Patrick Mahomes on those Patriots teams. They're getting worse?

No. Like, Tom Brady is amazing. Think about putting a Marino on that team. Of course. It's insane. Yeah. And other point that I think I'm adamant about is basketball is the only sport where you can really argue championships for the greatness of an individual player.

Yes. Because they play so much of the game and they're, they can dominate. And they can take it over. An NFL player cannot outside of a running back, which I'm so excited to watch that Barry Sanders documentary. Shout out Paul, my buddy who helped make it.

I NFL, you can't't one person cannot dominate yeah you're off the field for half the game it's like you know what i mean like if you light up run throw for 800 yards and your team gives doesn't matter if your team yeah whereas the nba it's like you're playing defense off at the whole game so like to just point to championships and again the easy slam dunk case of this is like, so by your rationale, Joe Flacco is better than Dan Marino. Yeah, because he's got one. Yeah, it's outrageous that people point to Super Bowls.

What if your son grows up and hates sports? Impossible. You think he's going to be a fucking queer? It's the most, I'm really pulling the Bostonoston joe out of you right now you go what the fuck you mean what the fuck you think he would blow you how long do you think he would take to make you come if he's full grown it just goes back to that how long will you take to fucking pop in my fucking son's mouth if that fucking happened it's learned behavior people that don't know like sports the parents didn't like sports they're like intellectuals or some bullshit i don't think that's true i think you're telling yourself that

in hopes he's gonna grow up loving sports because that's what makes dad happy and he's gonna want to make dad what if he just goes like dad i just want to read i would you can read about sports are you gonna get a matt christopher books are? Are you going to groom your son into being a sports fan? I'm like, here's Dynasty. It's like this thick. I mean, Lewis used to just hold James and watch MMA. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying, sure, there are certainly people that aren't into sports whose parents were into sports.

Sure. But like, James didn't just become a jujitsu kid. Yeah, he was. It was beaten into him. And so, you will make sure your son is a sports fan. Yeah, he was... It was beaten into him. And so, you will make sure your son is a sports fan. Yeah, your parents... I mean, you like the Niners

because your dad liked the Niners. Yeah, absolutely. It was our one... The only thing we connected on. Same. What if he isn't? That's all right. You know, I'll still love

the queer fucking piece of shit. Oh, my God. No, I'll be able to do whatever he says, but I'm sure... I hope your son uses this clip as evidence years from now where you're like why can't you want to go play ball like the other boys i mean if you go you he said you said on a podcast with the late dan soda that you would that you were into that three weeks before he died it's crazy okay that

does scare me you know that does freak me out i out a lot of travel coming up yeah so let's just hope it's safe yeah december 18th you're gonna pass i don't do that dude because i'm driving that day what are you doing today we're driving to chicago you're going to chicago yeah dude for christmas yeah and we're driving to chicago then denver what are you the mcc Yeah, dude. We're getting the station wagon. We're throwing the old furry slut in the back. I changed my mind. I'm like, Brian Doyle. Hey, it's also

talking about dongs. Pick up that blood. Is it Justin Silver or Brian Doyle Murray? Next time I see you, I want you to have a great BDM. Brian Doyle Murray. I will.

I'm going to have it by this weekend. I'm going to leave you voice notes of a Brian Doyle Murray I will I'm gonna have it by this weekend I'm gonna leave you voice notes of a Brian Doyle Murray put it over there with the rest of them grease ball

I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking bury it you're gonna get voice memos this weekend damn that's what I'm hoping for

sorry I got I'm on coke check out Joe List specials on YouTube please he is one of the best working

stand-up comedians he is one of the funniest human beings I have ever met in my life I don't ever change specials on YouTube. Please. He is one of the best working stand-up comedians. He is one of the funniest human beings I have ever met in my life. I don't ever change the top three funniest people I've ever met in my life

for Joe List. Top four. Joe List, Shane Gillis, Big Jay Oakerson, and Nate Bargetzi. You're the, like, you are the embodiment

of funny to me. Thank you. Tuesdays with Stories, obviously a hit. Mindful metal jacket. The regs. The guy's got stuff dripping out his butt. Too many podcasts.

And I'm making a film about Tom Dustin. I love Tom Dustin. I think you're going to love it. Thanks for coming by and hanging out. I know you got a brand new baby and a podcast and a bunch of dates, but I love you. And I was immediately like, Joe's got to come by and hang out yeah because this podcast is short we're gonna edit it down to 40 minutes and then just put it out we're editing stuff i just edit it was gold oh no we'll put everything out it's just what comes out as the episode and what comes out as the extra bonus footage the blow me until i come

thing might be that might we we gotta decide because that's good i like it that's some good we went sports heavy at the end people hate sports who don't like sports but listen there's gonna be episodes of this podcast where i get into wrestling good luck yeah good luck getting through that episode oh i'll talk i'll talk one guy went to 93 i'm happy to talk wrestling one guy went um ah so to do podcast sucks he doesn't do any wrestling impressions like immediately i was gonna start off and be like please don't leave just doing macho man yeah we're gonna talk about bisexuality get people going that's really good thanks dude my brian doyle murray's gonna smoke that yeah you should be like uh i wasn't gonna talk rest you should say i'm not gonna talk wrestling as macho man and then plug me and go on I changed my mind I changed my mind JoeListComedy.com ComedianJoeList.com

ComedianJoeList he's just a fucking mensch and he's hilarious that's it that's it that's it that's it

that's it that's it that's it that's it