Soder - Ejected From The Car with Big Jay Oakerson | Soder Podcast | EP 1

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Episode 1 of the Soder podcast is here. Dan Soder is joined by comedian  @bigjayoakerson  They talk about something insane they witnessed on the road with Bert Kreischer. Dan is on the road! Get tickets @ https://www.dansoder.com/tour San Francisco | Nov 17-18 Albany | Nov 29 Burlington | Nov 30-Dec2 Royal Oak, MI | Dec 8th Atlanta | Dec 9th New Jersey | Dec 15 Philly | Dec 16 Boston | Feb 17 2024 Connect with me! Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  @homelesspimp  https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

well that's people doing stuff around comedians always makes me wonder if they know they're going to be talked about like for instance when we were in colorado and that girl that lady rolled the side by side i mean is that what it's called it's called a dude buggy it is a dude buggy that's what i've been called. I've been calling it both. But I, dude, I've had so much. Have you, we should tell that here. Well, right now, unless you don't want to.

Oh, I'm fine telling it. It was, what did you do? Jay and I have like, Jay and I have like cornerstone moments of laughing at things where I would say like nick cannon how much he paid pete davidson to open for him yes do you remember that that's a biggie for sure pete told us this is years ago this is like before pete was on snl he was opening for nick for us you know yeah and he came maybe done an episode of wild and out or something couple and he came to the cellar and jay i was still smoking cigarettes so it was over 10 years ago. And Jay and I were smoking out front and Pete started telling us about how-

He just got back from a weekend with- With Nick Cannon, who's doing, I mean, Nick Cannon's been famous since I've been a child. Sure. But he was on all that. Child. Since I was a child. But we asked Pete, we're like, how much did he pay you?

What did he say, 50 bucks a show? It was $200 for the weekend. He said 200 bucks. And we were like, per show? I go, five show. Theater. He's a young kid. You know what I mean?

I'm like, all right. And then he was like, no, no, no. It was like $200 for the whole weekend. He's like, no, no, it was the full run. 200 bucks. And we were like, yo. He has a candy store in his house. And then he told us that. That's what he told us that night. And we were like, yo, he has a candy store in his house. And then he told us that.

That's what he told us that night. He goes, yeah, that was weird. He was married to Mariah Carey. He goes, he has a function. Nick Cannon was married to Mariah Carey. Oh, it's been on TV since. Did you know that? The candy store?

Yeah. You can find video of him walking around his candy store. It's stark white. Well, Jay and I spent about 30 minutes talking about being an employee at that candy store. Because it's a functioning candy store. Yeah, where he comes comes in he's like and but nick cannon's also the manager so he's got a cute he's got a he's like uh hey mark we're we're a little high on peanut m&ms and he's like yeah you uh you have a peanut allergy yeah you're the only one that's right i guess he goes guys we have like heavy inventory here on Red Hots. He goes, you don't like them.

You said out loud. You're the only customer. Who eats those? You're the reason we have them, but you don't eat them. You're tormenting me. It would be crazy to get hired. Anyway, Mr. Cannon, can I have a smoke break? He goes, unfortunately, you're the only employee here.

Sorry. Do you have someone to watch your register? He goes, no, I'm the only person here. Well, then you can. Well, then you can't. Well, then you can't. And Nick kind of coming down in his own house and seeing a

we'll be back in 15 minutes. And he has to do that. He goes, they're taking a dump, right? They're definitely taking a dump. Better not be taking a dump in the downstairs bathroom. That is,

only because I know because I worked at a 7-Eleven very, very briefly. Yeah. It's dump a clock sign on the door. And waiting for it is even the worst

because you're putting a real clock on them. It would also make me. And you get angrier the longer they take. Dude, it's closed. Seven 11. You're like, I don't think that's an enjoyable dump as an employee because you're on the clock. First of all, you're shooting at a seven 11.

Yeah. There's no way at its best. It's great. Someone's bathed in there without a doubt. Like full bath. I've never once gone into it. They go, how it's for employees only but go ahead and i've gone back and been like whoa they used to have h and h bagels up on uh yeah upper east

side upper east side yeah i agree smoked tuna that we we went there so much every weekend if i had to be like hey can i like pee or like you know carl or some my ex-wife or something had to pee uh they knew us well enough to be like yeah go it was downstairs in the bagel factory by the way really but you walk through these dude it is a stone four by four just little square and i mean the toilet was like it was like like what they let um like when they kidnap when terrorists kidnap someone yeah yeah yeah that's the bathroom yes it was really and you're like it's with the employees like these guys do have to shit here yeah treat them better they're like you can go in the stone hut if you need to shit do you remember they said that uh wawas were doing blue lights in the bathroom so you couldn't find veins to uh push off but

brilliant i've never seen that i've never seen that one time i've gone out of all the wawa's you've been there you've never seen it was supposed to now is the blue noticeable like you would walk in and know or maybe it's like the hue of the light yeah because it might be a subtle thing that you don't even understand like no it's happening dan maybe we have to go into a bathroom a bathroom together with you because you're very vascular dude i myself yeah i mean i can fuck it i could boot you off easy look at me you light me up yo let's let you right up me on the other hand i couldn't i don't know i have tattoos but i'm telling you like if i didn't have tattoos i don't know what kind of burlap skin i have over these veins but i always i mean a nurse or

somebody if they get it on the first shot, it's a miracle. They usually have to like fuck my arm with like a needle and I have to look away. If I was injured and I needed, you needed to administer a shot through my veins, you would be able to do it. I would be that nurse where I'd be like, Ooh, sorry. Oh yeah. You would wake up just Swiss cheesed up. Oh yeah.

Just your whole arm. You'd be like, what did you do? And I was like, I don't know, allergy test. We lost track of telling the story about when we were in Colorado because we can absolutely tell this. Oh. We said cornerstone moments, and then we started talking about Pete's underpayment from Mid-Camp.

That's a cornerstone laugh? That was a cornerstone laugh. There's been a couple. Corey Feldman's given us several. Corey Feldman's been that. So we were opening for Burt Red Rocks. Denver? In Colorado. Jay had gotten there on, the show was on Wednesday. given us Corey Feldman's been that so we were opening for Burton Red Rocks Denver and in

Colorado Jay had gotten there on the shows on Wednesday Jay got there Tuesday what brand is this I can't tell you that we're working out sponsorships Jay what brand is this hey Jay you're about to fuck my money before we take off because I'm trying to launch my own water brand those things are blurred out. He goes, I was too much tape on your shirt. What brand is that? Hey Jay,

not right now. Not in the process of building our capital. We're trying to build. Who's coming on board. We have no idea what next week could hold. So we go to Colorado, Katie and I fly out. Jay and Christine are already Bert rented this like whole place that he normally rents when

he does red rocks every year yeah it's a little uh resort yes cabins small cabin place in evergreen colorado and um jay and christine are up there kath and i get in afternoon late afternoon and we're like oh we'll just go stay at trisha's drive up the next morning we go to trisha's we have dinner i mean dude the funniest my mom gives us her body count at dinner just randomly we're talking to katie and i maybe we'll tell the full story on uh there's no point i haven't seen yet where I haven't done well I think you might have to do that with Kath she's the next episode don't even wait so long

when you go back on this dude can I tell you right now one of my favorite hangs was me you Katie and Christine just up at that place like it was one of the best decisions so we were at we had dinner with my mom and then um burt's people texted like hey we're gonna go shoot guns tomorrow and i was like yeah i'd love

to do that up in the mountains with jay and burt and katie was like well why don't we just drive up there it's not that far they have a room for us let's drive up there and thank god we did we drove up there and stayed the the place was amazing but uh the next morning we woke up pretty early so we eat breakfast and then we load up in the suv to go shoot guns we'll leave names you know we're redacting names from this names are out but this guy former and a current nfl player former has an injury that might he ain't coming back i believe in him i believe you know what i believe him too i believe him you know what hard at it i believe i mean slam on that edit i want you to say you lay on that he goes uh the guy's that clip he's

really good and i'm hoping he does come back but very great great dude very i mean unbelievable the the like how nice they were the whole yeah the family was very welcoming the whole family they were unbelievable we went to that so burt he's a fan of burt's um invited us to his land he owned like i think 200 acres near Evergreen. 100 and some acres, yeah. It was unbelievable. Almost 200, yeah. Beautiful drive. He meets us badass laying down looking at the sky on an ATV. With a sidearm on.

Sidearm, just a hand cannon on his hip. And he's gigantic. He looks like a guy where he would be the scariest guy to catch with his wife. He's one of those guys. Where if you walked in, you'd go like, it'd be like a bear with a gun on him i'll tell you this too like no no no no no no he's a ginger too and i will say more times than i would like since even when i'm saying the story like uh christine a few times i've interjected with like i mean just like a big burly like yeah toss it around yeah yeah and i'm like he tosses men around so ladies will be

that's light work so we go uh and hang out and they are they give a tour of their house which again jay and i's relationship we're not broke kids from like single mom times for a long time we're we have boy brain we don't want to go do adult stuff and adult stuff is going through an unbuilt house acting like you know what's going to be made be being like oh okay and this is going to be the sauna okay i think this was both of us i don't want to speak i don't know we even talked about this because this gets so much wackier but i don't know if we even talked about this we're one of the construction guys was outside. Oh, yeah. And he goes, what do you think that truss up there weighs?

And me and Dan just open mouth looked at where he was pointing. I don't know what he meant. I still don't know what that truss weighs. And we just started looking in the area that he's pointing. We're like, phew. And he goes, 3,000-something pounds. And we're like, eh. Sounds about right. And and he goes three thousand something pounds and we're like yeah and then he goes and we didn't he's like he sees that we're not getting like hype then he goes he goes just that one male bar right there i was like oh that is crazy okay yeah yeah i'm like you're like this part of the house is three thousand pounds ago is that it you go buddy yeah buddy you're

lucky i know how to change a light bulb and on a refrigerator. It's a real down to the wire moment. I don't know. We were walking on wood floors and I'm like, are we gonna get electrocuted? Yeah. What? I don't know. And like, is this done?

Bert's recently built a house. And so he was like, he's fresh with that lingo. So he would, they were like going through and talking about trusts or load bearing load.'s a lot of load bearing talk and jay and i are and he also showed us though the only thing that was done in this house one thing was finished as far as like structurally yeah one thing and it was his john wick room that is going to be of lit up guns it's gonna be badass It was a vault door like you've never seen. It was a bank from the 20s. It was badass.

It was badass. It was badass. It was like if every nine-year-old boy would see that and go like, cool. Panic room for sure. Also, that's one of those things where you see the bad guys coming out of the woods, like fluttering over the fence, and then you go and you turn that open and you're like, wrong house. I'll tell you this, too.

The guy's wife, who was awesome, she, I did this a lot. There's been a lot of times in my life that I have been interested in the wrong, I've gone to boot stores many times, or like a Journey's or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Like looking for like boots, like words, like even like boot hunting, but even boots,

like just a Timberlands, like basic boots. And even at Timberland store, I will go, I go, okay, these I like, and they're like,

those are women's. All right. That happens a lot. And I'll tell you what, sir, those are stiletto Timberlands. And you're like, Oh,

son of a bitch. I just, I love sex. I love feeling sexy. The guy, the husband guy had that sidearm on when he was sitting there. But for some reason, it always looked scary to me and awkward. Yeah. And I will say that is coming from a career fat guy who all I think about right there, I go, what if I'm wearing that gun and I try to sit down in a movie theater or a stadium? That gun's going to get ripped right off my thing.

My ass size. Touch the side. You go, that a stadium that guns gonna get ripped right off my thing My ass size just the size. You know that belly is gonna push that gun, right? Yeah, I'm like this is not gonna look cool I'm gonna look at the fat sheriff who drinks too much This gun just for fun, oh this shoots syrup for your ice cream So This gun, just for fun. Oh, this shoots syrup for your ice cream sundae. Whipped cream gun. Whipped cream gun. So, but the, dude, when I saw the one thing the wife put on her, she goes, yeah, we have to always carry our bear guns. Dude, first off, just the name, bear guns. But it's just like a heavy caliber, a pistol.

Yeah. a pistol yeah and she had it was like four straps and it goes right in front of her chest and i was like yo that is the holster right there and the guy was like that's like a woman's holster i was like oh specifically pregnant women that's for pregnant i literally i was like that is the coolest holster that's how chicks hold guns i'm like right yeah yeah i'm saying it's cool for chicks that was me picking up the pink ar-15 where I go, this is kind of my speed. I would have shot that the whole time. The pink camo, that's the one I'd buy. If I was at a grocery store, I'd go, give me that pink camo.

That's awesome, dude. I go, look at the drip on this. What do I want? Just a black gun? Yeah. Oh, okay. Cool. Okay.

It's any gun in the world. No one's going to see me popping shots unless I got my pink camo. He goes, I got an Uzi. Does it say Supreme on the side? Yes. Yes, it does. Does it say nasty bitch? They give me that one.

Just with name brands. Yeah. Hey, everybody. Hope you're enjoying the first episode of the podcast. This is where we're going to break down and do reads. We might change it as it goes. We have no idea what the fuck we're doing here at this podcast, so we're going to break down and do reads. We might change it as it goes. We have no idea what the fuck we're doing here at this podcast. So we're going to learn. But if you're in San Francisco, I'm going to be at Cobbs the 17th and 18th of November and then Albany,

New York. I'll be coming to the funny bone. I haven't been there in a while. I'll be there November 29th for one night, Albany, funny bone, and then Vermont there in a while i'll be there november 29th for one night albany funny bone and then vermont i'll be at the vermont comedy club i don't know why i said it that way that sounded weird like i've never said the word vermont before but i have vermont comedy club i will be there the 30th of november through december 2nd and then of course december 8th royal oak theater in royal oak mich, Buckhead theater in Atlanta, December 9th. And then the following week I will be at the Vogel red bank early show sold

out. We added a late show. You can get tickets to that. And then December 16th, the Fillmore in Philadelphia. And then that's it for 2023. So go to dance order.com for those live dates. And again,

we hope we're enjoying the podcast myrtle's at the door she thinks jay's still in here because she's obsessed with them so they like show us the house but jay and i as as boy men we're literally outside kicking rocks jay's smoking cigarettes i'm kicking rocks just be a little train track we're not even sure if they're they're like cool with that they might not be cool with that it was that kind of thing absolutely might not be cool i've been around like professional athletes that were like uh that i knew like i was dustin keller remember one time like what i would he'd be like dude he's like he's like just be careful blowing it near me at all like if i fucking pop i'm in trouble so they need and i go oh that's a good

reason yeah they are like i remember nfl players getting caught smoking weed and their whole thing was like no my friend blew it in my face like a dog yeah yeah but so we we hang out and they do like a full tour of the house we get a stepdad in that construction worker that was telling us about load bearing i don't know if you guys at home know this but that truss was over 3 000 pounds truss truss which is a metal thing yeah metal beam on a part of a house i would call it a metal log in the lincoln log it was a metal log in the middle of some other logs but it was three thousand pounds you heard right and then they went up and got a truck and brought it down to a field they had pumpkins set up on a dirt mound it was awesome it was an awesome set and by the

way me and dan uh with like uh we're like stare i knew what that pile was for that pile those pumpkins on the dirt things i knew that was where we're gonna be shooting and i was like let's go over there let's do that right now we're doing i mean burton and we're literally inside going he's like you can probably throw in a uh bay window in this but i'm like this is is this gonna be a nook who cares i want to play gi joe guy yeah i want to play army man you didn't come for this i want to feel tough and then he goes up're like, this house is 18,000 square feet. I go, oh, all right. I don't even know what that means.

Is that big? Is it too big? We really were getting those kind of complaints. Let us play with the poo-poos. We also have no vision of a framed house. So it's just frame. Also, I know I'm an apartment guy for the rest of my life. So I'm lucky if I get a house.

It's just frame. Yeah. So we're walking. I don't have a vision of this i'm like this seems weird yeah why are there so many pieces of wood are you gonna sleep on the wood yeah where the lights go where where do you play your playstation yeah where's the tv wall the tv wall goes yeah the big one for the tv yeah he's like god you really brought some pussies to my house so we um we go and finally he brings a truck full of guns a full truck bed full of guns we walk down we walk down

me and both burt's sneakers for the day i don't why. I got some slamming white Air Force Ones on. I got some crispy whites. To walk through a mud pile. And I go, and now I have to do this. Now I'm this guy going, so I go, is there like a part, is there like wood planks

or something you have to walk across this? He goes, can I just walk over the thing? I go, it's just, I'm not going to say it out loud. I was like, it's just that,

you know, this guy doesn't want to hear this. We were like ladies getting on a boat. Yeah. I'm surprised it didn't hold our hands he goes can you make sure his wife is holding our hands like we're dainty we're like thank you it was and then by the way just that family was so gracious they brought out snacks and

drinks sandwich it was awesome sandwiches everything and then set up the guns he was explaining us the guns i watched him do one of the most badass things i've ever seen in my life which is shoot a 50 caliber gun standing yeah it's a gun that burt me jay cypher christine all had to lay down to shoot it was a gun where they set up one of those ones and you it's like i was bullied to it but before we even got to that though before you show the 50 cal he started pulling out and he starts first thing he does he pulls out a handgun yeah so it's blasting away hitting i mean making real connection yeah then the shotgun wife then the wife comes picks up her ar her pink ar and fierce i mean guns uh hits one up top a pumpkin that rolls down the hill and

she blasts it the whole way down like annie oakley just shoots it on the roll down just like we're like okay soda did about the best with the guns they ended up giving us i it's i'll do it again for sure i'll absolutely do it again because I do want to get comfortable, but I genuinely don't like it. I, it's the whole thing. So scary. It's so loud. It's so like violent.

I know it's not, we're not doing any violent, but it's just, it feels like I'm just scared. I don't know what made me nervous. It doesn't get me, man. I maybe a handgun.

I think it's a little more fun. Yeah. But what made me nervous was when Bert was talking about the 50 caliber and he went like, Oh, the last time I fired this, it gave me anxiety for the rest of the day. And I was like, hey, we're about to do Red Rocks. I grew up here. This means a lot to me. I don't know if I want to have crazy anxiety while I'm opening the show, being like, huh? Yeah, yeah.

Just credence is playing in my head. They've also said they're like, oh, be careful, too. My nephew, his arm actually was ripped from his body from shooting this thing. Oh, if you don't press your shoulder up at that, it'll dislocate your shoulder and break your jaw. And you're like, no. Yeah, so another thing when it comes to problem a little bit later. So the shotgun was so big and loud.

Then he picked up a sawed-off shotgun and started fucking one-handed him it's like one hand and he's like a big guy so he did that thing of like arnold almost like arnold being like it was like he could handle i mean he stood up standing shot a 50 caliber so then he put the 50 cal on the ground and yeah we all then the ladies had a turn at it burt shoots right away hits the keg it's the coolest looking thing of the day. Yeah. He's probably, he's had to have used it or he will use it on a promo. Cause that was the coolest thing. It was so fucking cool.

He blew up a keg with a 50 caliber and then full keg of beer. It was awesome. It was like out. Is he like, they set it up. Who went second? I did. You did.

Yeah. I missed. So Dan goes, I shot it twice and missed. Yeah. Dan shot twice and missed. dan shot twice and missed and then uh and then they get me they're like come on jay and i was like no no no it's okay i don't and i'm telling you most at one i'm like this i could get hurt it's scary it's loud it's huge yeah and also

on top of all that now again single mommy guys i'm like if i lay on the floor like i'm gonna get dirty i mean like i'm gonna we have to go back to the place like i'm gonna be really dirty yeah and then they're like come on i'm like okay so then i try to lay in a way that's like not and they go it's so ridiculous i'm like we call that perpendicular almost to the gun i'm like holding like this and i'm like you're doing like a pose they're like now you have to like lay down like kind of next to it i'm like okay and they go keep that thing on your thing look through the scope scope and shoot and then uh i shot the first time it wasn't so bad actually but i missed everything and then i line back and then they go like i'm like that was cool

thank you they go no come on you gotta shoot like shoot like one more one more i'm like all right they go just be careful now because like again i don't know if it's my the way i'm laying or my face they're like you want to keep your uh you want to look through the scope but you want to keep your face like away from the gun and i'm like that sounds like you just told me two impossible things to do so i looked through the scope do you remember this yeah and then I went and he caught it on his shoulder he didn't get hurt I didn't get hurt at all but they were just like and then they were almost just kind of like up yeah like that's you can't do like that and then Christine my girlfriend said I'll do it had no problem twice well he like held her in place

like there was he like but she's also mentioned several times yeah he like held her in place. Like there was. He like. Which she's also mentioned several times. Yeah. He like held her to the gun and she was like. It was weird. She made this noise. Oh. Oh, he definitely. Yeah. He had a one on like the hip and one on the shoulder thing. Oh, fuck.

She's like, can I shoot five more? Oh, fuck. I need it again. So here we are. Now everyone shoots to 50 cows. And we do the guns thing and everyone's like. And Bert starts talking about the property and he's like oh it'd be cool to film a promo somewhere on your property i know you got a ton

and the host is like he's so like you're talking about he's so gracious he's like oh we've got these like dune bug side by side you go get our stuff they called them the side by side side by side which are dune buggies which are dune like dune buggy thing all-terrain vehicles and we'll drive up on the property and we'll find something cool for you guys to shoot. Slow down on the story here because we're both gonna,

you know, I don't want to like jump too far ahead without somebody missing a thing. Well, I'm gonna make sure. I will make sure. So, they get,

so first, he shows up. No. No, he comes down first and comes down off the terrain. It was her? Yes,

I'm saying that's why. Well's why no no no you have to remember he drove up and drove away and then oh oh that's what happened he was gone he was gone he was not there when she arrived he was not there when she arrived that's right because he came by he was listening to kill shot by machine gun or uh m&m yeah and then he showed he showed up and it's you know these things are like it's like uh for them to drive around on their property but they got like to blast in tunes like he said eminem and then he drive he drove up he showed that it could kind of go everywhere and he like drives up into the trees he's gone she shows up and she's like the wife shows up haul down. And then she's like, oh, something. And then revs it and starts doing donuts.

And she does like one donut. And on the second donut, she's going so fast. You see the car tip. And then as she's going around, it rolls and then flips. It rolls two times and goes ass overhead twice. And then it lands and she's holding the roll bar on the hood of the car like oh you guys just showed up she called it she's tony tony contained her way out of the car we immediately the first thing our reaction i'm pretty certain she's dead we were

like are you okay oh my god it was a death that's a death accident when you watch that accident you go oh that's how ryan dunn went that's how they all go it would just be paul walker and now this lady if we if we wait if it would have been that serious i think we all would have understood we were prepared we were like preparing ourselves for that console this man about the loss of his wife on his brain or at least like the mangling of her face and body something bad like we were We were like preparing ourselves for that. To console this man about the loss of his wife. On his brand new property. Or at least like the mangling of her face and body. Something bad. Like we were waiting to see what happens.

And this is what I was talking about when Jay was saying about people talking about being swingers or whatever. And they just come out and they're like. Sometimes around comedians, it's best just to be as honest as possible. Because if you're not honest, I think we'll pick up on that and that's what we all did and she i think she said i'm pretty sure the reason we know she was alive and didn't spend much time worrying about her death is because she almost had like a oopsie huh like something like that like an oopsie doodle like a real like a real like oh well another or like i think she's like another day on the it might have well she might as well have gone mondays am i right it was that what me worry hang in there kind of like

that cat huh cycle to that roll bar but she lands and it kind of settles and we're like we're all like are you alive she's like the japs that built this thing now the best it was like one of those things you're like now what the husband comes up and does like he's like skids like right next to her and his first words are it was what are you why weren't you wearing your seat belt and she's like i don't know and she's like dusting herself off she's completely dust herself off. By the way, there's a lawn chair that gets just flung from the car. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuff flew out of the car. Pete, the bird's tour manager, just went and picked up and was like, hey, I think this goes in the car. And she's like, Aaron, I was looking for that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, did I fling that 50 yards away? The thing that made,

the whole reason we found this so funny and it made jay and i laughed for the rest of the day was that we saw her be like fine i'm fine and we're like i don't think y'all she's like i'm fine and then we noticed she put her hand in her pocket and she was like so what are you guys doing now and it was like the rest of the arm wasn't attached she was like she stuffed arm in her pocket by fingers and it was just And it was like the rest of the arm wasn't attached. She was like, she stuffed arm in her pocket by fingers. And it was just like, it was like, you know,

like the, she was white knuckling. Cause the arms falling, but like, she's like, what? Remember in Desperado, how everybody walks around on a ranch?

You know, when Antonio Banderas gets shot in Desperado and he's walking along the wall and the blood's tracing. That's what I thought about. But the way that she was like, right arm in pocket. And she was just way that she was like, right arm, and she was just like, she's like, so you guys going to be hanging out for a while longer?

So did the jokes come to you, or do you have to sit down and write them? And Bert was like, Bert had like a, I mean, if you're okay, I really would love to get some of this footage up on the rocks there. I forgot about that.

So we're there for 45 more minutes. This is cool. The coolest part is the nearest hospital is an hour away. A couple of fun facts. We got 45 minutes to the hospital. Also, because it's dirt road access to their house for two miles, they're going to build a helipad because it is not easy to do a hospital run. It's an hour away.

And that's what's all said as we got there, not knowing what was going to transpire yeah and then she just hangs out dude they go and they take her up to film his thing on the rocks to the point that we were convinced when we left their house and went back to where we were staying we were convinced she was not injured but we were laughing it whenever you've had like the wind knocked out of you and tried to act like you're fine when you're like I'm only in my mind I'm completely

in my it was like that kind of energy and she was like no just give me two seconds she was bringing up random stuff

that doesn't make sense do you guys eat strawberries often no do you guys hey how about those cosmic brownies how little Debbie's

really is the motherfucker he goes hey he goes I really want to thank you for being she's like Hey, how about those cosmic brownies? Little Debbie's really is the motherfucker. He goes, I really want to thank you for being... Sorry, sorry. I just remembered a bunch of stuff I didn't get done today. Oh man, I'm so angry at myself. I just remembered I forgot to order paper towels.

So, we go back to the place. We talk about it in the car with burt we like you know um and then we go back we go back we get ready wait also at one point her and uh one of the assistants or something there's where go he goes hey we're gonna go ahead into town for a little bit so it's great meeting you guys they left about five minutes before us. Yeah. The wife and another girl. So then we leave.

But they're real like we're going to market vibe. Yeah. Like, you know what? I just feel like a ginger ale. You ever feel like a ginger ale? I'm going to go buy one at the corner store or at the general store, whatever they have. And so we go get ready for the show. We go.

We're at Red Rocks. We're like looking around, taking pictures. It's unbelievable. I'm downstairs. Katie and I are hanging out. The guy and his wife show up and his wife is in a break, like in a, in a sling,

her arms in a sling. And I'm like, I knew it. I knew it. And I wait a sling. And I mean this as many straps as the bear gun it was actually the coolest thing i've ever seen in my life it was a badass it was a really badass sling and then we i'm like oh my god oh my god seeing how serious it was

i was like i gotta tell jay jay has to know this so jay is upstairs talking to his agent a manager his manager i'm telling him a funny story yeah it's not about that it wasn't that it was like we had to recap him real quick when you came on but as i show up the interest of i remember seeing dan so backstage of red rocks it's like you go down like a ramp it's all sort of outside but it's like a down a ramp and i just see dan coming I want to give you my perspective on this. Because I'm talking to him, and I see Dan. I'm looking over the shoulder of my manager and see Dan come around the thing with what I can only

describe as pissy pants. Dan's doing these, like, ooh, Jay. And I see him come back. I go, wait, just give me one second. You know how many times I've done that to my mom on the phone? She's going, give me a second. How many times that same energy? I haven't felt she's going give me a second yeah how many times that same energy i haven't felt that energy since i was a child and dan and dan just goes he goes

he goes okay and then borderline was spinning in place and i went and dan goes okay and i went so um and then i just went i didn't even get to the next sentence i go so uh you know this looks like it's gonna be better than the thing. Dan, yeah. And you go, she's in the thing, dude. It's like she is. She actually was injured. And he's like, no way. And we look it up.

It's like a fucking gnarly injury. Yeah, dude. Katie looked it up. It's like a serious recovery. Well, the funniest part is when Katie looked it up and she was like reading me what it was. She goes, it's crazy how many times they mention the extreme amount of pain that comes with it. Katie's like,

every third sentence, she's like, you will know if this happens, there is a lot of pain. And the fact that she... Immeasurable pain that's not going to be simply solved

by a couple of digits in your pocket. Don't put your hand in your pocket. It will only cause more pain. But the fact that she was that cool and calm about it, about such an injury that was going to take weeks to heal, we hope she's all right.

If you watch this, we were impressed with her pain tolerance. And sorry if any of this story offended you. It shouldn't offend you. Yeah, it was hilarious. You got rejected from a car, and you got an injury that's going to set you back a little but jay and i were talking about and i talked to her about it because i was like why didn't you tell us you were injured and she was like you guys are having fun i didn't wanna i'm like don't ever do that again it was it was wild she really was being so pleasant she

didn't say that she didn't make her shoulder. I'll tell you what though. Have you ever. All right, rigs. Have you ever. It's like. Have you ever. Such a good topic. I know we got to wrap it up. But like. Yeah. Dude. Like. Have you ever.

Seen. Your chick. Or even if it's a date or something. Embarrassed the hell out of herself. And you got to like. And that's what happened there. It was happening. She was embarrassed.

Yeah. Like she was very, very embarrassed. And he was kind of like. And then the guy's got to be like, she's fine. Yeah. She's totally fine. Cause he's embarrassed because it's like you want, if nothing else, look, I know that you don't want other guys like lust after your chick, but you want to think your chicks like everything from like cool, awesome.

You don't want them laughing at her. Yeah. And there's that thing, dude, I christine early in our relationship to a black comedy show i was doing kareem green ran it it was in jersey city like in a hotel like room they had like set up down there and it was like a fine room it was like a hookah thing going on it was hispanic and black but like uh and i remember going up there like i had it was a and black, but like, uh, and I remember going up there and like, I had, it was a fun set. Cause it went right away. Like they tried to like test it me right away.

You know what I mean? When I went on, it was kind of like a man, you better be fine. And I was just like comfortable enough at that point in the economy to be like, Oh, I mean,

what's the worst going to happen if I'm not, you know what I mean? Like we're just having like this and I made them laugh and I'm having a really good set and Christine's in the back of the room and I just see her silhouette get up and I know there was just like a small like step down from like one back area to the next and it was just silhouette but like i don't know what she hit something else but it was just like seeing her go and i was like also because we're doing like oh where's she going and it was just like she ate she fell so hard like smashing something then you hear people around and go, damn.

Oh my God. I had to be like, oh, somebody eat shit. That's cool. So I said, move on. I couldn't give her any. I couldn't give her any kind of like a care or affection or like, oh my God, are you okay? Because I'm just like, you're looking away. The dumb bitch.

Just turn on her also. But then you feel like. Asshole. Hey guys, everybody. Asshole. Or are you feeling like you do need supporters you go anyways what's up with you i hope your shin's okay i used to have that happen to me when i would get drunk and i would fall at like friends i remember one time in the city i was drinking i think with julian mccullough and he met these Australian girls and they were like

oh let's go back we're having a party at our hotel room it was like a cool people party and I was so drunk I didn't know there was a glass table right when you walk off the balcony and I nailed my arm my leg and full fell and rolled and got up so quick that like my my balance you know and I had to do that thing where I was like i'm fine i'm fine i went out no that's ding i think you may have like splintered your shin bone he goes that's crazy went out to the elevator and opened it and it was just a gash and i was like uh-huh what a fun party whatever i'm gonna go get ice this lady and then uh if you recall the guy was texting burt because i don't know if you heard me say it. And then if you recall, the guy was texting Bert because I don't know

if you heard me say it in a bunch or something. That was the one I was going to end the story with. Yeah. Yeah. He texted. Well, he said to Bert,

he goes, by the way, she didn't get thrown out of the car. No, no. The word was, he goes, she wasn't ejected from the thing. And I go, Bert, you weren't there. No.

You and I were both there. Me and you were there. She was ejected. She was on the hood. She was on the hood. She was on the hood, dude. The only thing missing was Coverdale, dude. I wish I could get music licensing now that this podcast is just on YouTube, just to slam into that video, and that's how the podcast ends.

I love you, dude. And thanks for coming on this. I love you, too, man. Thank you for having me. I miss you every day. And good luck with the solo broadcasting venture. BigJComedy.com. Bobby Kelly sends his love.

BigJComedy.com for live dates. Legion of Skanks, Bonfire, SDR. Dog Belly. Dog Belly. Dog Belly on YouTube. One of the best specials of the year. I love you. Shut right up.

I love you, buddy. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Bye.