Soder - My Mom's Body Count with Katie Nolan | Soder Podcast | EP 2

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

Episode 2 of the Soder podcast is here. Dan Soder is joined by his fiancée Katie Nolan. They talk about the time Dan's Mom told them her body count at diner. Drop us a rating on itunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. Dan is on the road! Get tickets @ https://www.dansoder.com/tour Albany | Nov 29 Burlington | Nov 30-Dec2 Royal Oak, MI | Dec 8th Atlanta | Dec 9th New Jersey | Dec 15 Philly | Dec 16 Boston | Feb 17 2024 Connect with me! Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  @homelesspimp  https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

You guys worked that out. That was choreographed. That lick was a paid actor. Good job, Myrtle. Yeah. You're such a good girl. Good job, Myrtle. Yeah. You're such a good girl. Yeah, it is. The one thing this dog has taught me is that the dumb shit you do in front of another person is amplified when you own a dog together.

Like when I didn't know how to do stuff when we first got her as a puppy. And it'd be like, I don't know. And then you'd be like, I don't know. I can't imagine what parents go through. Oh my God. Like that fear of like, did we fuck up? Did we fuck this thing up? Every little weird thing she does, you're like, what did we do that caused that?

Yeah. And then you worry if you got a shitty dog. Whenever I walk her in the city, I'm always like, does she suck as a dog? She does. I don't think she does. But in ways. She kind of sucks at dog stuff. She sucks at stuff that other dogs seem to just be totally natural doing i don't see every

other dog that i'm yanking towards anything that i saw that today you did i've never seen it well you know what i saw and this is just a little inside us walking our dog baseball look how much taller your camera is it has to be i'm imposing this is for me supposed to be directed towards my face yes Yes. Cool. I saw a dog. You know when we try to cross 6th Avenue, she'll always try to push up. When you turn the corner, she'll go like that. I saw a dog doing that when I left therapy today.

Cool. I saw a dog trying to pull up, and I'm like, all right, okay. Other dogs are doing that. Our dog doesn't suck as much. But smelling everything. Walking her in the city is a nightmare. I hate it. And I know she doesn't like it either,

so then I feel even worse. That I'm like, well, neither of us are enjoying this. But we gotta get you out of the house. Yeah, when we moved into Manhattan, Myrtle was, I thought she'd be fine. And instead she was like. Less grass? What the fuck is this? You found a place with less grass?

And so she takes it out on us by trying to eat everything she comes across. Which, you know what? I respect. I respect the hell out of it. Except for dinner sometimes. Frustrating. So what we're saying is. Having a dog in New York sucks.

How do you guys have kids? I don't know. If you have a backyard, have is... Having a dog in New York sucks. How do you guys have kids? I don't know. If you have a backyard, have a kid and a dog. Just get nuts. One of the best parts of being engaged, getting ready to get married, is especially... Are we just... What? Are we getting ready to get married?

I think we're just going to get married. We haven't planned a single thing. Can we... We can tell the people the honest to God truth, which is... Let's let it out on the table. Right next to this married. We haven't planned a single thing. Can we, can we, we can tell the people the honest to God truth. Let's let it out on the table. We haven't planned anything. And both of us are kind of like, we'll just go get married. At some point, I think we're just going to go get married.

But then we also know if we go get married without planning anything, we'll never plan anything. Oh, you mean like we're going to, people that say they're going to get married and then have the party after and we're like that's us and that every single person i've said that to has said plan the party first and then get married i'm like well if i'm planning a party then i'll just plan a wedding and then i'm in this loop if we just get married it's just we're gonna do it it's eventually what's gonna happen oh no it's gonna happen as you're preparing to marry somebody which will pretend that we are which is Which is fun. I Googled dresses. I took a look. I joined a subreddit.

Everybody with their parents, no matter your relationship with your parents, especially if you're an only child, especially if you're an only child. That's why it's fascinating to me. Yeah. You're waiting for someone else to be there to be like, did you hear this shit?

So you can just be like, this is nuts. Yeah. i'm not crazy right so i almost jay wanted to tell the story on on the first episode of the podcast but i was like no no no no we can tell the lady getting thrown from the car story ejected from the vehicle which i wasn't there for which was devastating for me they came back and told me and i was like i missed it oh dude we had to like bring her out and be like you have no idea what you missed so uh before we went up to stay there katie and i went to my mom's house for dinner my mom gets very excited she loves katie i love her yeah she's great my mom's the biggest sweetheart in the world she loves having us there she cooks she's so excited

for us to be there whenever we show up she shows up she's like you guys it's very sweet two cute dogs but sometimes we laugh at stuff that she does and she doesn't understand why we're laughing and we're like well because you're doing mom shit you're doing like crazy mom shit and my mom does the craziest mom shit because it's been she and i the entire time whole time just you two and katie finally understands the roommate dynamic where you just like share stuff with your mom or you're like i would never say that to my mom it's fascinating it's fascinating you didn't have an ally you didn't have like a you go i'd go to my brother you had to tell my brother and my brother be like don't tell that to mom and dad or like we would i'd be like did mom do this to you and he'd be like yeah she does that you just got to deal with

it like this you had nobody to confirm your reality to conspire with or to like intervene on your behalf it was just raw you two to each other it really was two camera it was always right down the pipe dude right down the barrel it's just right there um i mean she would come home from dates and be like that guy drinks too much and you're like i'm nine i'm scared of the basement still i don't know if this should be the conversation we're having so katie we were talking about something and uh i remember what we were talking about something. I'm trying to remember what we were talking about. I remember what it was. It was my mom.

We were making fun of her and her neighbor. Oh, should we not? No, we won't show that. We have a running joke with my mom and her neighbor that my mom really does not like. Where we're like, your neighbors want you. And my mom's like, stop it. You guys, stop it. That's the exact energy she hits it with.

You guys need to stop. I like what did she say she's like i feel like i'm playing the straight man here oh i guess i'll just be the straight man i was just like oh we're just it's just we're just joking that was her nice way of being like stop making fun of me please stop making fun of me so we do this running joke about how all of our neighbors want her. And then we were talking about, Katie brought up, because my mom's in her mid-70s, and Katie was like, are you retired? I think I asked her if she was out of the game. I think I asked if she was really done, looking for any interest in any, like she's just not out of the game completely.

She goes, are you retired? And my mom goes, well, it would take a very specific set of things, which we did float the idea. Would you go on Golden Bachelor? She said no. Right. That's another reason we were talking about it. We were talking about Golden Bachelor.

And how sad, how much more sad it is when they let a Golden Bachelor go home. Golden Bachelorette. It is a loser leaves town match. It's tough. Every week. It's tough.

It is. It's a career match it's also tough because they just had to pour it on the thickest for themselves because they have to present to tv that like i've been through this and this but i've got one last shot at love and they all just gave that speech and are leaving and are like so i guess i'm retired now well you know being they all do the same thing being alone it can be rewarding I've got my cats and I've got

my Mitchell's memory oh my god remember when they're having dead spouse off in that one episode they're like I lost my spouse he's like no no no I lost my spouse and you're like damn this is sad spouse spouse spouse so we were talking about that Trish said she would not do lost my spouse he's like no no no i lost my spouse and you're like damn this is sad spouse so we're talking about that true said she would not do golden bachelor but she said if it was a

rich guy who loved she like gave like her all-time thing or whatever and out of nowhere my mom just volunteers her body count she just goes no joke i looked i looked over at him and was like did she just say what I think she did? You know that noise of a fork hitting a plate? That's what it was the second I go. Jesus. I was like laughing. It's one of those things where you're appalled, you're embarrassed, but also it's so funny

we're talking about it on the podcast. She goes, I dated a lot of men. And then I dated and said the number. Yeah. Which we'll leave off. I don't know if what we're doing is editing out the number. She will watch this because it's on YouTube. Love you, mom.

She just said, this was on. And I want to really set that scene. We're talking about this kind of stuff. But this was, you know, I've dated a lot of men i've dated between the years of she gave a span this year 10 years in a number and it made me want to crawl into a hole and die shocking not just the number itself the fact that she said it to us and then i just looked over of like what do we do now? And we were both like, oh, I was laughing.

No, I walked away after the next one. I, I def jam walked away on the next part. That wasn't a real walk away. That was a legitimate def jam audience member walk away. I was laughing so hard. So we went like,

oh, and Katie, Katie being sweet and polite. She goes, well, where'd you meet all these wonderful gentlemen? How did you find that many interesting men? That's what it was. And she said. They weren't all interesting.

And we went, okay. And I'm like, at this point, I'm like starting to be like, I don't know if I want to eat anymore. There's like, I mean, we got Danny dipping sauce on the table. So my mom puts down stuff dude this was like you think your mom's showing people baby pictures is embarrassing or pictures when you're little in the bathtub is embarrassing no it's when your mom puts mustard and mayonnaise mixed on the table and goes i put down some Danny dipping sauce. Dan loved this when he was a kid. Yeah, when I was five.

I was eating paint chips too. She goes, oh, and that's, I said, what are these? What are these sauces? She goes, yum yum sauce. Yum yum sauce. And that's Danny's dipping sauce. And I just was like, is it? We were laughing at dinner.

Is it Danny? Because she said it like, she said it like Katie was going to know. She said it like it was known. We kept joking around that she was leaning into the microphone like a lead singer saying she's going to play a hit. She goes, thank y'all very much for coming out tonight. This next one's Danny Dippin' Sauce. They never play this one! That right there is next up.

My friend Reginald wrote this one. You guys might know it as yum yum sauce. And I was like, oh shit, oh shit. And this was after she had said, this next one's called taco meat on a baguette. My mom makes appetizers. Some of the best appetizers in the world. They're unbelievable.

I'm very lucky that my mom makes appetizers. Delicious, little pockets of cheese and meat and delicious goodness. And most of them have cute little names. These are buffalo chicken pot stickers. These are, um, But she really- Tacorito egg rolls.

We were smoking weed in the basement and my mom was down there hanging out with us and she pulled them out of the freezer and she goes, these are, met, what was it? She goes, this is something new I was working on. Uh, I had a little bit of leftover taco meat. I mixed it with some cheese.

I put it on a baguette. This is taco meat on a baguette. She goes, taco meat on a baguette. And we're like, we both went, I think the name

needs a little workshopping. I think we got here to wet with the first thing you thought of. We were both like, you could probably spruce that name up. You really sold it

and then told me exactly, you just summed up what you said. Call it like a Rio de Janeiro sunrise or something. This is taco meat on a little slice of bread i put in the albuquerque open-faced taco i don't know taco meat on a baguette and this is taco meat on a baguette her reaction was like oh well yeah bumming my mom out always sucks because she's like, no, no, no, we're having fun.

I don't want to bum you out. No, we're just joking. No, she's a sweet, perfect angel. And it was delicious, that taco meat on a baguette. It was. Taco meat on a baguette did fucking slap. When she plays it next time, the crowd's going to pop. You hear those opening chords?

Taco meat on a baguette. She's doing taco meat on a baguette. She hasn't done this since the live album. So the Danny's dipping sauce is on the table everything's on the table everyone's having their dips we're dipping we're eating she brings up the body count how'd you meet so many interesting men they weren't all interesting and then i said where'd you meet that many men something else happened we got distracted we kind of moved on then she has a bite of food in her mouth eating a bite and katie says probably taco meat on a baguette

might have been and katie says where'd you meet all and she says they weren't that interesting she goes back to eating and she goes so where did you meet all of these guys and my mom mid-bike mid-bite she eats and she goes craigslist like that and oppenheimer'd the room i mean i got up and walked out of the room like a def jam set i wasn't i was like dude me katie christine and jay were laughing about that for three days straight out of nowhere jay would be getting a water out of a cooler and you go craigslist the finger point the finger point fucking destroyed the room yeah i think that's one of the hardest i've ever laughed i had a hard time breathing oh my god it's just so funny i thought we i almost thought we had dropped it yeah and she's like looked at me and she points and i'm like where is this and she did the thing like mid-byuyers. She goes, Craigslist. Like that.

And then we had to explain to her that our generation. Doesn't use Craigslist like that. We know Craigslist for sex workers, couches. Misconnections even. Or like MFM. You and Jay were saying that when we drove up that night. We told that story. Jay goes, wait, so Trish is just lurking around w4m and i was like i was like yeah casual encounters is my mom trying to find me a stepdad this is where we're gonna break down and do reads we might change it as it goes we have no idea what

the fuck we're doing here at this podcast so we're're going to learn. But if you're in San Francisco, I'm going to be at Cobbs the 17th and 18th of November and then Albany, New York. I'll be coming to the Funny Bone. I haven't been there in a while. I'll be there November 29th for one night, Albany Funny Bone and then Vermont. I'll be at the Vermont Comedy Club. I don't know why I said it that way. That sounded weird. Like I've never said the word vermont before but i have vermont comedy club i will be there the 30th of november through december 2nd and then of course december 8th royal oak theater in royal oak michigan buckhead theater in atlanta december 9th and then the following week i will be at the vogel Red Bank. Early show sold out. We added a late show.

You can get tickets to that. And then December 16th, the Fillmore in Philadelphia. And then that's it for 2023. So go to DanSutter.com for those live dates. And again, we hope you're enjoying the podcast. Myrtle's at the door.

She thinks Jay's still in here because she's obsessed with him. And she goes, I don't go on there anymore. And we were like, Myrtle's at the door. She thinks Jay's still in here because she's obsessed with him. Dad. And she goes, I don't go on there anymore. And we were like, I don't know if you can go on there anymore. I don't even know if it works anymore. I don't know if it works like that.

Is it still a thing? I don't know. I got roommates off Craigslist. Never a date, though. I got my apartment in Queens that I lived in for 17 years off Craigslist. And a futon. I also got a futon off Craigslist.

My mom found- That futon that you sat on. That shitty futon. Futon that I futon off Craigslist. My mom. That futon that you sat on. That shitty futon. Futon that I did Bonfire and Sixth and Jump from. Until you bought yourself another chair that sucked. A video game chair. Katie, I've learned, does her research on products and like looks it up and is like, no, that's good.

And I don't. He's a trigger puller. I aim. Middle of the pandemic, I was like, oh, I'm going to buy a video game chair to podcast and do the radio show. And I just bought one

and it came and we assembled it. And Katie was like, did you look up what this one was? And I was like, I didn't. And then we did. Just Googled video game chair. I clicked, I paid. They took the money.

And then we looked it up and it was one of the worst ones. It was like a two star. It wouldn't lean back. lean back the back wouldn't lean you had to sit straight up i was like who's playing video games like this and then we found out it did lean back but the whole thing and it made a loud pop where it would make you feel like the whole thing was gonna yeah it wasn't a great chair but it was pretty awful took it the second we put it in the lobby yeah someone in the old building took it so you're welcome but. But dude, that body count was. Too funny.

That was one of the most, like, I'm so glad someone was there to laugh. Because a lot of times it was me, my mom, and her boyfriend. And he's in boyfriend mode. Right. Guys dating my mom were always like. It's his representative. Yeah, he's like, no, that's cool. No, Craigslist is totally cool.

Yeah. You should totally get dick off Craigslist. Meanwhile, I'm like. Is this? So this is normal. So adults are. That's why I can't imagine growing or what my opinion on dating would be or my view of dating would be if I grew up watching my mom do it.

I've never had to do that. Kids of single moms. I'd be really interesting to talk to someone else that went through it on like how you relate like how you're related i'll get out of here yeah you had a lovely married family fucking dork um sorry they say it helps i don't think they like each other very much they're still together but you know they're it's holding on you can tell they got heat well i never thought it was weird until i I did a podcast one time, and the person that was on the podcast was like,

oh, so you were the only kid around your mom was dating. Did you ever try to scare them off or fuck with them? And I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. Like from a movie. I'm a people pleaser. Yeah, you wanted them to all like you. It was just tiny little auditions. They were just coming to your house.

I was a little butler. I'd come to the house, and I'd be like, so do you think playing with toys is gay okay i'll stay away from that i just like asked up right now would you be interested in a stepson that runs up the stairs at the basement when he turns the light off that's a no okay you have kids of your own i will not get along with no no don't bring them here that was what i was lucky as my mom i had a stepdad but my mom never married anybody with kids because i think i would have been very territorial yeah i'm bad at sharing stuff yeah like we each have our own video game console for a reason well a part of that reason

is because you can't play video games with a person you're sitting next to anymore. In order to play video games with someone, you have to have two video game consoles. When we smoke pot, you bring up some points sometimes that as a lifelong pothead, I rarely have that like, oh. But you've done it to me twice. One time was just recently. Your brother, Kevin Kevin was visiting. We love Kevin, the captain of our Rocket League team. The best.

He's the best. And he was in New York for a work trip. And we play Rocket League online with him and his friends every night. With Gagney and D-Ro and other people. We get on there. You don't have to do this. It's very nice of you. It's very nice of you.

Because I'll tell you what. D-Ro does not get a name drop on your new podcast. But in the chat, they're gonna be like, hey thanks for everything. Sure. Sampy. Wow, good. I start hitting all of them. I'm like, I'm a convoy. I'm getting all of them in. So they're like, come on. They're like, you guys need it all. But I will, I feel comfortable in saying your brother is the captain of our Rocket League team. Yes, 100%. He's the best Rocket League player. He's the heart of the team. So he was in town and we were like, oh, come over and play Rocket League. But the way video games are now, it used to be if you had a system, you would just have to worry about having controllers. Like, oh, we've got three controllers we can play.

But now we each had to be in separate rooms. We had to have three different TVs. Three different TVs. Three different video game consoles. He brought his Switch. We had our consoles. And then we all met online to play. We were hanging out in three different rooms together.

Fascinating. It's crazy that that's where video games are. But that also makes me, it just makes me think of kids and how like their experience with video games is completely different from ours. And part of that is because they want to make the most money. You need a PlayStation, not just a controller. Yeah. Not just a friend who has

video games like you used to socially go to the front god that was so awesome we did not have n64 we got a sega genesis and then our parents were like you're out for a while you're out of the game this is your thing did they make that a public did they make that like a public thing of like did you and kevin try to push for a 64 i think so i mean i imagine so we rented we used to rent a 64. You could rent it for like a week. Yeah. A weekend.

And we would just do nothing but play video games. What was your guys' favorite game? Well, so we didn't, it was just Mario. I just knew Mario. I had brand recognition with Mario and it was Mario that 3d where you could walk around to all those castles and go into the rooms and then jump into the

pictures. Yeah. And you could do like, yeah. castles and go into the rooms and then jump into the pictures. Yeah. And you could do, like, yeah, wah-ha, yee-hee, that, like, triple jump thing he does. God damn, I loved that game, but I wasn't good at it. Yeah. Because I never had enough time with a machine to, like, get good at it. Yeah, the second you start getting the, you start catching it. They were like, it's gone.

You don't play with it anymore. But you would have a friend who had N64, and you would, like, go to that friend's house. And I would say you even kept a friend around that maybe wouldn't even be that good of a friend if they didn't have that n64 the basement that was finished that had all the dvds we owned like three dvds or vhs we never owned movies or anything we had like it's a wonderful life beauty and the beast struggling to think of a third ferris bueller Day Off. Those were like the movies of our house. My mom had, we had VHSs that were all Kodak black and yellow because the free weekends of movie channels.

She would record them with the camcorder? No, not with a camcorder. You could plug the camcorder in to record off the TV and then you would just have to either, remember when they came out with those VHS tapes where you could just pop the tape from the camera into the VHS and put it in

game changer so we would take just on our VCR we could record off the TV so she would pop a thing in and be like I feel like at some point

they stopped you from being able to or pay-per-views you couldn't do that with pay-per-views yeah but she would write down like on HBO

it's the big chill. Like movies I didn't even give a shit about. We had the mash, the finale of mash. And then you would go in our laundry room and there would just be these like three shelves of secondhand tapes that were just taped off HBO. That's why my HBO special, the reason that beginning meant so much was that was on so many tapes of ours. Yeah.

Because when you watch a movie, you're like, oh, the special presentation. That's awesome. But my mom, video games were like, when video games came out, my mom was like, you're not going to get video games. You should go outside to play. You play sports. You go outside and play. And my dad was still living in Denver.

It was like the months after my parents got divorced. And my mom was like, you're not getting a Nintendo. And my dad was like, I'll get you a Nintendo. Oh, I mean mean the more i hear about your dad the more i'm like of course you were the biggest fan of his because he did the easy thing that was the hugest win and your mom seemed like a person who was like you can't have anything good you can't have him you can't have video games you can't have she was like no no no and we got the nintendo and then it was cool about my mom video games. You can't have. She was like, no, no, no. And we got the Nintendo. And then what was cool about my mom is once I got a Nintendo, my mom was like, all right, you play video games like you just can't play all the time. But all right.

And so then for Christmas, I got a Sega. And then like years later, got a 64. Cool. And then I bought myself a PlayStation two. High school job. Pretty cool. pretty cool but I remember

no one wanted to come over to my house because the 64 was in the living room and either my mom or her boyfriend were always watching TV

oh you didn't have like a space a private space so I couldn't be like guys we want to play perfect dark but you go to other people's houses yeah so now with video games

we both are like we're both into it yeah because for the in separate rooms but the point you made about no one being in the same room the reason I bring this up is all the commercials now for gambling sites

everybody in this podcast will probably eventually you'll see me being like hey guys don't forget to use Soder use code DraftKings check out my parlay MGM Grand check out

Dan's pick of the week we don't have that yet probably will but Katie had a good point when we saw Jamie Fox who was the other massive celebrity

that was doing it oh I mean everybody but all these people that are doing sites we were watching TV and Katie goes they should have to post their parlays

they should have to post how much they use. How much money did you use? Kevin Hart? How much money did you put on the game this week? What was the bet? And how much did you lose? Show me.

I got another $200. Bam. And you're like, then I want to watch you bet. The whole commercial should be like Colts look good. It's just him going through and figuring it out. He goes, you sure you're pitching? I don't know. Like you should have to,

no one, I feel like we're in the age now where everybody's in a commercial and no one uses the product they're in. Yes, 100%. Like back in the day, like Arnold Schwarzenegger had to go to Japan.

Matt Rife. For Blue Chew. You think Matt Rife uses Blue Chew? And if he does, then I've got a real issue with him being our hot boy comic of the moment. Because my hot boy comic

doesn't need blue chew. That's wild. When you showed me that, I was like, that's insane. I was like, how is this? Who's advising you to do this? You're the sexiest comic. What are you talking about? And someone's like, this is erection aid.

Erection candy. Is that a thing now? Like, are younger guys in their 20s having? Are they really? Oh, shit. Okay, sorry then. You're doing great. But they're having doing great it happens to

everybody apparently porn addiction everywhere if you could watch anything fuck anything why would you go just have a normal relationship when you could type in two different things and someone's got those things fucking each other somewhere i this is gonna be the oldest i sound outside of talking about fucking Nintendo 64. When someone, when the internet first came out and people would find a weird video and you had to like gather to watch it, where they'd be like, Tannenbaum was the one, my friend that would find videos. And they'd be like, did you see the guy fuck the horse? And you're like, no. And he's like, do you want to see it?

And you're like, no, I don't want to see it. How did you find it? One time I was at his house and we were smoking weed in his garage. and he's like do you want to see it and you're like no i don't want to see it how did you find it one time i was at his house we're smoking weed in his garage and he's like i got a video to show you and you're like fuck and you go into it and it was a guy fucking a fish oh my god just like with his dick and you're like but that's what the internet was so to me it's like oh you go to your friend's house and they show you a disturbing video that you didn't want to see but now you're a different man for having seen it. Now you can't eat seafood because you watched a man violate a trout. But it is, it was one of those things where I, I, I joked about it early in my standup

career, but I never thought it would actually take fruition. Where at one point I said, I think on my Comedy Central special, I said, these kids now are going to be like, I go in my Comedy Central special, I said, these kids now are going to be like. Are you kissing me? I go, in what special? Which one is it from? Which bit did I reference? Not special. You're on the clock. Not special.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. But in the bit, I said, they're going to be like grizzled porn producers by the time they're 13 and be like, what is that? Double anal? I'm eating my cereal. It's not enough for me. But it is. It's happening, I guess. I guess it's not enough for me but it is happening i guess

i guess it's happening and blue chew is there for you think about your high school crush on oh my god excuse me yeah think about he said for you i thought about it a girl's not supposed to go there that wouldn't ever happen just young boys jacking it on only fans imagine my high school crush on only fans okay that's, isn't that just like a... He was so cute. Yeah, but would you want to see him being like, thanking the people that were tipping him? I don't know.

That's not really what we look up. We're not like, oh, I mean, look at a guy jerking off. Hey, NSYNC fanatic. I would love to do that. I'm trying to think of the usernames of the girls in your high school that would be watching your high school crush. Where he goes hey thanks ryan

cabrera hey dawson hey thanks dawson squirt all right he's like starts checking off to that he's like trl anal all right that's weird didn't see that one coming yeah that's got to be the world's um i feel so bad for the kids i just feel so bad for the kids that's got to be the world's um, I feel so bad for the kids. I just feel so bad for the kids Not even just like um The pandemic like I thought during the pandemic I was like damn imagine if this was your height your senior year of high school Or like damn imagine this was like your freshman year of college Yeah, or damn imagine this was any of those years you look back at as like oh I really needed to go through the typical experience of that whether it was a good experience or a bad experience the typical experience of that would have moved me into the next chapter of my life and those people didn't

get that but then I also think about like the way technology is the way that we the way that socializing in general is it's so different for them than it is for us and i just feel like there isn't somebody counteracting that with like i don't know i just feel like these kids need love yeah i love so bad i mean i think it's been brought up in multiple stand-up bits but i do think there's some truth to the fact that like social media will become the smoking of our generation where it's like oh you do that we're just like you shouldn't do that like you know the way when we see kids now from like the 20s that were chimney sweeps and they're like nine smoking a cigarette like waiting to go back to work and they're like what the fuck that's

gonna be like i hope i don't know but like you hope in 30 years that's gonna be people being like you're just like we're allowed to be on instagram when you were 11 like that is wild it's wild and it doesn't feel like people are getting more strict about it feels like it's going to be people being like, you're just like, we're allowed to be on Instagram when you were 11. Like that is wild. It's wild. And it doesn't feel like people are getting more strict about it. It feels like it's going the other way. I mean, do you, or instead of it being like,

no, yeah, you can't get on this till you're 21. I've seen what it is. Now people are like, well, what am I going to do? Tell him he can't be on it.

Yes. My mom would. My mom used to say if a guy wanted to take me on a date in middle or high school, which very few did, but if they did, if they had already wanted decided they wanted to jump through this hoop i had to light it on fire by saying you have to come to the door knock on the door talk to my parents and then we'll go out nobody ever was like yeah i'll do that can i be honest those you're soon to be husband kind of glad that you were

like bacon in the oven like that you know what i mean I'm kind of glad that no one took you out. So I'd get you. I'd get you. Bacon in the oven, huh? You're just like getting more seasoning, getting more flavor. You're all funny and shit. You weren't out in high school being cool, getting fingered? Oh, no, I wasn't.

I got fingered. Okay. Not on the podcast. It just wasn't a lot. Edit that out. It wasn't a lot. So you don't see me get angry. Start punching mics.

Another man's been inside of you. Whose finger is that? We got to wash your pussy. I'm going to dust it for prints. If I see any prints that don't match mine, you're in big trouble. If I see yours, I'm going to go, when did this happen? What are we? Do we have an eighth grade date night? What other stories did you want to tell did this happen? What are we? Do we have eighth grade date night?

What other stories did you want to tell on this podcast? How long have we been talking for? I don't know. 37? Oh, good. Look at that. I lost track. I thought we'd been two hours doing this.

I didn't want to run up the clock. You know what's even great, though? Like, at that first moment of breathing for air, you're like, oh, the podcast is done. Oh, good. Exactly. We got 30. And I think we got, I mean, outside of the beginning. Why are you trying to get out of continuing to talk to me? Because I'm going to do it the rest of my life.

That's how we're going to go for an hour. I want it off. Maybe we will. Thank you for being the second episode. Is it done? It's done. Oh, thanks for having me. This was nice.

At Naty Colon on Instagram. Did you look that up? At Katie Nolan, Katie B. Nolan on Twitter. Did you look that up? At Katie Nolan. Katie B. Nolan on Twitter. Katie Nolan. What's happening? I don't know. I'm watching you leave me.

At Katie Nolan on Twitter. Yeah. It's X. X. X gonna give it to you. Look, X. X. Celebrity Jeopardy.

Oh, yeah. She's moved on to the semifinals. Yeah, and I don't know where we are when this comes out. And we don't know if this is airing, but the semifinals are coming up. Head on a swirl. How do you feel? Are you excited for it? Yeah.

I'm so excited. Yeah. You smart little bitch. Shut up. I love you. It was so much fun. Yeah, dude. It was one of the coolest moments is seeing her on Celebrity.

I got to go to one of the tapings. I won't say which one. Is that her doorbell? No. Am Ibell? No. Am I crazy? Yeah. What? I didn't hear a single thing.

You didn't hear a doorbell? To the point where it feels like you're doing like a bit. You're like, oh, is that my phone? I gotta go. No. No. I swear to God I heard a doorbell.

Do you want me to go check? Go check and we're gonna keep running. Okay. I mean, why? It was a doorbell. I nailed it. I nailed it. I knew it was the doorbell.

Just pull apart the entire shoe rack. Good job. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for doing that. And I tried to move it to four. I don't know what happened. I know. I don't either.

Well, Katie Nolan, Celebrity Jeopardy contestant, love of my life, thank you for being on the podcast. Thank you for having me. Good podcast. Thanks. Don't forget to... Myrtle is upset because she wants you to like and subscribe. Subscribe to the podcast, right, Myrtle?

Say it.