Soft Skills Engineering - Episode 410: Guaranteed cost-of-living raises and my manager doesn't like me

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hi Soft Skills! I’m writing to you as I look forlornly at my paycheck, unchanged for the last year and a half, and wonder if I...’ll ever see market rate again. While I prepare my leetcoding skills for the trek that is your classic Soft Skills Adventure (quitting), I think about future interviews and wonder: how common is it to have something like a COLA clause in your employment agreement? Something like “Oliver will receive a raise of no less than the current CPI% per year”. Are there other ways to mitigate this, other than joining a company with more people and less greed? I don’t think I should have to beg for COLA-s with good reviews in hand. In fact I think those reviews call for raises! Thanks for bringing more joy to my life :), Mr Twist P.S. I am grateful I’m not paid in porridge and any reference to Oliver Twist isn’t to suggest Tech Salaries aren’t livable wages. Mr. Peanut Butter asks, I’m a senior IC at a small startup and I’m struggling to get along with an engineering manager. M has a say in my promotion and has already said no once, which was pretty painful considering the time and energy I’d spent helping their team succeed. I think there are two headwinds to M changing their mind 1) I’m FE-focused, and M’s conception of FE work is dated and simplistic. 2) M can be a bit of a blowhard. Said generously: M is a top-down thinker, quick to make conclusions, process-focused, and loves discussing architecture and design patterns. In contrast, I’m a bottoms-up thinker, pragmatic, plain-spoken, slow to make conclusions. M and I meet regularly to discuss cross-team matters, and it is my least favorite meeting of the week, even weeks that include dentist appointments. M sometimes devolves into lecturing me about software fundamentals (which I know at least a well as they do). I know from experience that there’s an M at nearly every company, so I’m reluctant to order up an SSE Special. How do I leverage this dreaded weekly meeting to turn M from a detractor to a promoter?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 it takes exactly one off by one error to be a great engineer this is episode 410 of the soft skills engineering podcast and i'm your host jameson dance i'm your host dave smith soft skills engineering is your weekly advice show about all the non-technical things that go into the technical field of software development and i'm trying to think of an off by one joke and I'm off by one and one other thing an off by one joke yeah I don't know
Starting point is 00:00:31 exactly one off by one error that was good that was funny this was a listener suggestion that I gratefully stole yeah I have no more words here
Starting point is 00:00:39 I don't know edit that out please okay this episode is sponsored by Datadog the best way to monitor your application you'll hear more about
Starting point is 00:00:47 Datadog and how to get a free t-shirt with a cute little Datadog on it later on in the show I want to thank our wonderful patrons thank you to the folks
Starting point is 00:00:56 who support us at the level where we shout them out every single week. Thank you to Chewy, Ted Timbrill, Testing is Documenting But My Coworkers Don't Test, The Soft Skills Engineering Podcast,
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Starting point is 00:01:16 on Mars Flamingo Emoji, I Like Chicken, I Like Liver, Meowmix, Meowmix, Please Deliver, Trash Panda, TheComputerScienceBook.com, Kyle Boss,
Starting point is 00:01:24 Kent C. Dodds, Jenny Kim, Owen Shardle Craig Motlin The Stochastic Parrot Patreon.com We're hiring Ira Chan
Starting point is 00:01:30 Question Mark Jonathan King Zunai Beautiful Functional User Documentation Williamangel.net Backslash Book Ragnar Travis Brayden Keynes
Starting point is 00:01:38 John Grant And Too Young to Feel This Old Ah Aren't we all I'm too old to feel this young That's a good twist Why do I feel so It's better right
Starting point is 00:01:48 Immature and dumb It's like the imposter syndrome version Oh I thought it was more like I'm so spry and limber and healthy i guess that's one take on it i do feel that i do feel regularly like surely the median 37 year old has got it way more figured out than i do yeah they do yeah you're a little good that's fine everyone's on their own path jameson yeah and my path is just way behind everyone else's oh if you want to join this group you can go to softskills.audio and click support us on patreon
Starting point is 00:02:27 and do the thing it says there and you will get the stuff it says there you'll get an invite to our slack team you'll get a shout out and one other secret thing that i won't tell you what it is or when you'll get it now i want to know you just have to believe i just made that up it's nothing okay yet i mean technically it could be something still It just hasn't arrived yet. Yeah, Drew. I feel like somehow this involves cryptocurrency. This has a real cryptocurrency vibe to it.
Starting point is 00:02:59 I thought you were going to say you'll get one prize, but it's an off by one error, so you'll actually get zero. Yes. The prize will be worth up to infinity dollars. How about that? Dave, do you want to read our first question? Yes, this comes from a listener name. Please, sir, may I have another? Hi, SoftSkills. I'm writing to you as I look forlornly at my paycheck. Nice use of the word forlornly in adverb form. I like it. Unchanged for the last year and a half, and I wonder if I'll ever see market rate again. While I prepare my elite coding skills for the trek that is your classic SoftSkills adventure, aka quitting, I think about future interviews and I wonder, how common is it to have something like a COLA clause? let me just interject here cola i am interpreting to mean cost of living adjustment and not the soft drink flavor yeah every day you get one free la croix cola flavored la croix
Starting point is 00:03:58 yeah okay how common is it to have something like a cost of living clause in your employment agreement something like oliver will receive a raise of no less than the current cpi percent per year are there other ways to mitigate this other than joining a company with more people and less greed i don't think i should have to beg for colas with good reviews in hand in fact i think those reviews call for raises thanks for bringing more joy to my life smiley face emoticon mr twist p.s i am grateful i'm not paid in porridge and any reference to oliver twist is not to suggest that tech salaries are not livable wages well said oh how common i mean in software in the united states i have never seen this as a clause in an employment agreement
Starting point is 00:04:46 and it feels like the kind of thing that would not happen in the united states yeah in like a non-union industry but i have seen cost of living adjustments as a practice at a few companies some big and some small yeah there was an expectation that you kind of get a standard raise where what that range is could go up or down depending on kind of the vibes in the air of how well the company's doing and cost of living and inflation and stuff but i think i'm pretty sure the company itself would fight tooth and nail to avoid like being obligated to do it oh yeah for sure for sure they love the freedom to not pay people more money because stuff has gotten more expensive yeah i was thinking like what company on earth would sign a contract that says you will
Starting point is 00:05:40 give me a raise that is at least as big as the consumer price index percent increase each year for the rest of my employment yeah and i'm thinking no company that has an hr department or a lawyer or anything else maybe if you're like a high-flying executive or something but then you probably don't care about raises because you make all your money from equity so exactly it's like you will give me at least the consumer price index percent increase in more equity every year yeah i want one physical basket of goods yes the thing they use to estimate consumer price indexes i i want the energy part yeah i want i want like 75 kilowatt hours of electricity in a basket i would like one barrel of crude oil please
Starting point is 00:06:33 that would actually be really cool to try to make a basket of the basket of goods from the cpi that would be cool sounds like a youtube channel waiting to happen surely there's some like subscription service that's like just give me you know give me what those geniuses ever at the i don't even know who does this the cpi the bureau of labor and something give me whatever they they got bureau of labor statistics i almost got the whole thing bureau of labor something you had the acronym correct i had the acronym right oh yeah this hmm that is let me just let me just summarize in one sentence that is never going to happen you are never going to get this yeah i mean i would love to see what happens when you try i think that would be a great story
Starting point is 00:07:31 i do think i don't know i guess was your experience at a mech tech mega tech company similar in that there were sort of defined raises at defined periods and there's some range for performance, but you kind of knew it's raise season. So depending on how I did, I'll find out what I get. Well, at the Megatech Co. I worked for for four years, they did things very differently than most companies, definitely than every company I've worked for and differently than the other Megatech companies. And that was, they actually had a base salary cap and no one at the company could go over that cap. And all of your variable earnings, like all of your earnings increases year over year came from stock grants interesting and so
Starting point is 00:08:15 they had tons of control over your total compensation in ways that other companies who offer who most of their pay to you is actually through your base salary in this company had ways sorry had more control over your total comp in ways that those other companies do not you know if your if your total compensation is like 90 based salary well that number will probably never go down while you're employed at that company. It's very rare. Unless you have a title change or a role change or something, it's very rare for your comp to go down. But at my Megatech Co., that happened all the time. And I think they loved it. And so it was like, cost of living adjustment, you'll be lucky if you don't get a 30% pay cut. That was kind of their attitude.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Did it go down because the size of the grant was smaller or because of changes in the stock price or what? Or both? No, this was completely irrespective of the stock price. They would project out a stock price using a very simple model that assumed some percentage growth in the stock each year, like 15% price growth each year. That's what I assumed too, about all my stocks. Yeah. They would give you a certain number of shares that would... Oh, sorry. Is that how you manage your portfolio? Yes. Just assume everything goes up by 15%? 15% seems... I mean, sometimes I assume 16% if I'm feeling spicy. And that's how you're going to retire after five years of professional work yep i just assume it'll go great um anyway no like they would basically
Starting point is 00:09:39 the the term they would use there was called range penetration and this is the term that everyone used when when hr wasn't around because hr would never ever tell you how close you were and how much of a raise you got compared to others and how well you know on the distribution of success like what where you sat never no what you would get is just a number of stock shares and a base salary increase if you weren't already at the cap and a lot of people were already at the cap because it was kind of low in the grand scheme of things. Only about a third of my total compensation came from my base salary. Anyway, point being that range penetration was what it was all about. And it had nothing to do with cost of living and everything to do with how well your
Starting point is 00:10:19 manager perceived your performance. Well, I guess my point is, I know there are companies out there that have cost of living adjustments or a practice of regular raises. And you could search for that in your interview and just hope you don't join right at the time when they get rid of it. Yeah. But you won't get a promise, right? That it's going to stay. Yeah, you certainly won't. And I mean, there are always people who for performance or perception of performance reasons do not get a raise or do not get as big of a raise as they would like. Yeah, I don't think there's any way, certainly in the US, you would get it written into something. I'm going to make a comment now that draws upon my vast experience from studying
Starting point is 00:11:02 economics on the economics wikipedia page that hallowed institution yes i'm waiting for my diploma after reading that yeah i have a phd in economics from wikipedia my take is that employers don't care about cost of living they only care about replacement cost and what i mean by that is that the market, for better or for worse, dictates what salary employers can pay to get labor. And software development labor is no different than any other kind of labor in this one way, which is that if they could pay minimum wage and get a skilled software engineer, companies would. And if you're making 5x minimum wage, they will absolutely replace you with five talented people who are only asking for minimum wage, all of the things being equal.
Starting point is 00:11:55 and so i i think this is a just a good opportunity to think how does my employer see my compensation and yeah like if you have a great boss they probably see you as a human being who they're connected to maybe even have some affection for you maybe even you'll get invited to birthday parties or something but the business the the cold hard soulless loveless inhumane business only cares about return on invested labor costs. And so they're going to pay you what they can to get the value they want to get out of you. And if the consumer price index was increased by 9% one year over the next, then they don't care. And just to pontificate a hair more, I've been watching salaries very closely over the last, well, call it 20 years,
Starting point is 00:12:48 but really closely really closely over the last four years because i did a ton of hiring four years ago between four and two years ago and i've done a little bit of hiring just recently i just hired a new engineer on my team and here's what i gotta tell you that i've seen for the first time in my 20-year career i believe software engineer salaries have gone down in the market and i base this on the fact that i opened a position and posted it on our website and we got 600 applicants for that position over the course of three weeks. And we asked people what their salary requirement was and the numbers that people wrote there for people who filled it out, which was surprisingly a lot of them, probably like 60% of them, the numbers they put there
Starting point is 00:13:30 were like 30 or 40% less than the numbers that I was negotiating with for people like 12 years ago. Wait, 12 years ago or 12 months ago? Yeah, no, 12 years. Well, actually both. So yeah, that was a little weird way to say that, right? I don't know why I said it that way. But yeah, no, seriously. So I've been negotiating salaries. Actually, no, 12 years is wrong, 10 years. For 10 years, I've been negotiating salaries off and on with engineers in a management role. And these are the lowest I've seen. In fact, most of the salaries that I saw for, say, like new entry-level engineers or even up to a few years of experience were actually lower than offers that I had to make 10 years ago to hire entry-level engineers in order to just compete against counteroffers. Well, that's pretty dire. So, yeah, like wages are down. That's just kind of the reality. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:22 To add to the bummer vibe. Yeah, do it. yeah i remember having a discussion with someone once who who said you know inflation is at such and such percent and and like what are you going to do about it and i told them unfortunately we don't automatically get more money to pay you because inflation is like is at a certain rate like it that yeah i know that means that your expenses have gone up but that does not mean that automatically the business pays you more money. That's right.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Or that we have more money to pay you. Yeah. Oh, it's so rough. And this is actually the insidious inflationary cycle that we just haven't experienced for like, I don't know, like 30 years or more in the United States. But I've read about this cycle. Again, remember, I have a prestigious degree
Starting point is 00:15:15 from the Wikipedia economics page. And the cycle goes something like this. The economy becomes replete with cash and people go on spending sprees and it's just gangbusters. Stock prices go up, everything goes up that's good, and prices of things you buy, like consumer goods, stay pretty flat. And this lasts for some period of time, long enough that people don't realize that they're in an inflationary cycle. They just think the market's hot and things are good. And then suddenly, inflation hits. So all
Starting point is 00:15:42 the stuff you buy, the prices go up, and your wages don't. And this is where people start complaining. And it sucks. And trust me, I get it. I'm in it too. So it's really crappy. And and it's kind of one of the harsh realities of living in a kind of a free market capitalist society is that sometimes your money doesn't go as far and there's nothing anyone can do about it except ask for it in your contract and be told no right there's one thing you could do all right but don't worry cryptocurrencies will solve all these problems yes oh maybe that's what you should put in your employment contract i want to be paid in dogecoin yes yes i'm not picky any any meme coin is fine bitcoin is too mainstream i will only be paid in hipster coins
Starting point is 00:16:34 is that a thing uh i'm sure it is oh man it's probably like it self-destructs as soon as there are too many coin holders out there i don't know something yes as soon as it becomes mainstream it automatically loses all its value anyway it's it is a really bummer answer but i i let me just summarize for this question asker i don't think any company is ever going to give you a guarantee of a cost of living adjustment in perpetuity it sucks that everyone is everyone's pay feels like it's going less far when they go to buy stuff than it used to be and the fact that there's been inflation has absolutely no bearing on your employer's desire to pay you more. Well, Jameson, I really need you to say something. I'm going to read the next question.
Starting point is 00:17:26 I was hoping you would say something to cheer this all up. No. Well, maybe this question is cheery. Let's find out. Hey, Jameson, have you ever worked on a SaaS project with no observability tools? Yes, right now. It's about as fun as digging a hole with your shoe. this is where datadog comes in you add a few lines into your code and boom you've got observability you get error monitoring performance monitoring traces dashboards logs it's really helpful to see all the information without a ton of effort too it makes it so much faster to debug problems i get lost you're kind of like hypothesizing about what's going on without something like this yeah
Starting point is 00:18:06 and you get to see the exact stuff that's happening exactly datadog lets you see where you are overspending on your hosting bill too. So you can be the hero that in this climate, you can save the company money on your AWS, Azure, or GCP bills and your CFO will give you hugs. Datadog is integrated with over 700 tools and has out-of-the-box dashboards
Starting point is 00:18:28 to start monitoring services like AWS, pager systems, and even password managers in minutes. You can get a two-week free trial with Datadog at datadoghq.com slash softskills. and if you add Datadog to your code and set up a dashboard you can get a free Datadog t-shirt shipped to you and trust me it's really cute. Are you offering to send like model shots to prove my face ruins the shirt but it has a cute dog that's datadoghq.com soft skills you can go add Datadog to your software today and get this great shirt with an adorable dog. This is from
Starting point is 00:19:10 Mr. Peanutbutter, who asks, I'm a senior IC at a small startup and I'm struggling to get along with an engineering manager. M has a say in my promotion and has already said no once, which was pretty painful considering the time and energy I had spent helping their team succeed. I think there are two headwinds to M changing their mind. One, I'm front-end focused and M's conception of front-end work is dated and simplistic two m can be a bit of a blowhard said generously m is a top down thinker quick to make conclusions process focused and loves discussing architecture and design patterns in contrast i'm a bottoms-up thinker pragmatic plain spoken and slow to make conclusions m and i meet regularly to discuss cross-team matters and it is my least favorite
Starting point is 00:19:56 meeting of the week even weeks that include dentist appointments m sometimes devolves into lecturing me about software fundamentals which i know at least as well as they do i know from experience that there's an m at nearly every company so i'm reluctant to order an a soft skills engineering special how do i leverage this dreaded weekly meeting to turn m from a detractor to a promoter i assume m is a cover word or code name yeah i i think so just the letter m just for those that are hearing the audio version of this which is everyone there is no video version hang on let me check behind me nope nobody no one's there watching no listeners in my office okay the letter m and this person on top of it all has already declined or has not only declined
Starting point is 00:20:50 your promotion but was instrumental in shutting it down not it's not like it's not like this was your boss right that's the impression i got or is it it seems like it yeah they they were helping m's teams so maybe they're not on them's team i don't know but i don't know why you'd have a meeting once a week with a manager if they weren't your manager yeah true probably is m has a say in my promotion yeah i don't know it's ambiguous there's enough that makes me maybe they just work really closely with this team or something conception of front-end work is dated and simplistic. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:26 You could have M do some front-end work. Yeah. Hey, listen. What's in it for M? I'm trying to think. You got to incentivize it somehow. Yeah. I just really want to learn more directly and hands-on from you.
Starting point is 00:21:42 You have all these great things to say about patterns, and I really want to see them apply in the code base. Yeah. Yeah, I want to see these design patterns and top-down architecture mandates come to life. Yeah, you know what we really need in our code base? Quick decision-making. Decisiveness. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:01 From the top. I'd like to see that. And some good software fundamentals. This is hard. It's really hard to change someone's built-in biases or preconceptions about the hierarchies in software. And this is a common one. I think it's becoming less common, but definitely still a thing of front-end. That's just the easy part.
Starting point is 00:22:29 That's simply the rendering. That's just the display logic of the real important business stuff. And there's a lot to it. you can be bad at it too just like you can be bad at anything but anything trust me i can be bad at anything i'm bad at being bad at front end i yeah it's it's hard to change when they don't work in it i feel like that's the folks who value it the most either have worked in that space either am i going to say anything else i think i need two things if i'm going to say either or something else that i won't tell you right now
Starting point is 00:23:18 save it for later i'll save it for later yeah i'm trying to think of folks i've worked with that really value front end as a discipline and polish and yeah they all i mean actually sometimes i've seen them be very very customer and user experience focused so they're not necessarily former engineers but they really care about kind of the polish and the experience of delivering it to a user and and that often involves a ton of front-end work and like tricky front-end work just throwing up a table on the screen isn't enough you have to like make it smoothly animate and sing praises to you as you do what is my point my point is i have not seen that come easily to people who don't value that
Starting point is 00:24:05 yeah not and you've got a double whammy here because not only does the engineering manager possibly not value front end but also has become a detractor about you in particular and it's probably darn near impossible to change someone's conception of front end work and a close second is changing someone's opinion of you when they've somehow gotten on their bad side. Especially someone like this who makes quick conclusions. I wonder if they have this idea in their head that front end is easy.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I could see this is one way this could have worked out. Front end is easy. It's simple. And you have ideas about architecture and suggestions for technical decisions and boy, do they seem so complex. it seemed like they're sure going to take a long time and be a lot of work and and so maybe they think of you as like i don't know not pragmatic enough or practical enough or prone to over
Starting point is 00:25:03 abstraction or something because they are assuming surely it cannot be this hard i don't know what would i do i think i would talk with them openly about it i think it would be a lot easier to talk to them openly about promotion than about the fact that you hate meeting with them every week yeah those might be in conflict with each other you might you might be able to pick one or the other yeah but assuming that they said no to your promotion they should be able to articulate why and if you know that they said no presumably i don't know maybe maybe it got to you through the grapevine but i think i think they should have a reason why or kind of what what what do you think i am doing that i could be doing better maybe it's the source of their lecturing to you as well
Starting point is 00:25:52 maybe they think this person really just needs to hear some old-timey wisdom and boy aren't they lucky that i'm helping them so much maybe yeah what do they value i i think you need to find out what they value and if it's not front end specifically there's got to be something that you can do with front-end skills and focus that they do value maybe it's i don't know maybe maybe they want to see architecture diagrams or quick delivery or i don't know there's there's there's got to be something you can maybe you should start a book club where you all read the gang of four design patterns book and instead of doing what you think you should do which is make fun of it instead you can praise it i think i have seen this reputation get turned around for people
Starting point is 00:26:43 but it took a lot of work meaning like their manager doesn't like them yeah their manager perceives some weakness or flaw or i don't know i don't know if it doesn't like them or whatever but it always took some kind of extra effort some project that was failing that they swooped in saved or some like some heroics yeah they had to somehow yeah they had to demonstrate their their value through heroics that's a good way to put it i haven't seen it just from like just talking more like talking yeah let me just talk to you more and maybe i'll convince you that i'm a really cool guy yeah um yes i i actually read a great book on this let's see if i can yes okay this is actually a book that at my company we've adopted as kind of our canonical source of how we manage
Starting point is 00:27:37 our culture. It's called Change the Culture, Change the Game. And the thesis of the book is that people have beliefs for a reason. And in this case, the manager M is a detractor about this person. And that is a belief that they hold. And whether it's true or not, that manager has had some experiences that have led them to that belief. And so when you said that you've seen it turn around when people do acts of heroism, I realized that like, yes, that's exactly what happened is they gave the person a new experience to consider. And that new experience changed beliefs. And so that's, that's kind of the thesis of this book is that if you want to change a culture, well, culture is influenced by things that people believe and things that people believe
Starting point is 00:28:18 come from their experiences they've had. So you need to create experiences that will change the beliefs of this person. So I don't know what that's going to be in your situation, but an act of heroism could be good, like pulling an all-nighter to, I don't know, fix some big front end bug or make something that other... Actually, you know what? I just want to backtrack. Forget that I said the word all-nighter. That's just not... I'm in my 40s. We're not doing that anymore. What I do want to say is that maybe there's something about your front end that others have said can't be done. And then you do it. That will create a belief. Maybe there's some bug that others have been unable to fix, and then you fix it. And then you take credit for it by explaining
Starting point is 00:29:03 what you did. That'll create a belief. In fact, I interviewed a candidate for a front-end position last month, and they described a situation where there was this crazy Safari bug. And it made me re-again for the 10th time appreciate that Safari is the new internet explorer and it was just a super esoteric hard to find thing but it it showed me that they talked me through their debugging process and all the things they discovered along the way and then what they ultimately did to fix it and it showed me wow this person is thorough they know how to find esoteric documentation about browsers that are that's weird they know then what the implications are for their project and they know how to apply fixes and get it done and they built consensus
Starting point is 00:29:42 on the team and a bunch of people on team were like wow that was such an amazing fix how'd you do it that this person actually spent a bunch of time explaining to other team members help them level up their skills. And I'm like, wow, that created a belief in me. You know, that experience that this person told me about in the interview. Yeah. And so that's, I don't know, that's kind of what it feels like you need here. Yeah. Now you just have to arrange a disaster. Yes. The incentives are clear. You know what to do. Only you know what that disaster should look like. yeah yeah i mean this is what happened but when all of our users go to our website all they see
Starting point is 00:30:22 is a white screen what do i do crack your feet crack your knuckles maybe i can help i've got an idea that's just crazy enough to work what if i removed the debugger statement that i snuck in last night exactly this is part of why the adage people don't quit jobs they quit managers exists because they have so much influence over your day-to-day work experience and if it is not going well there's i mean it's hard to change people it's hard to change people's minds spouses that love each other very deeply and have a lifelong shared commitment together have disagreements that they can't get through or differences of values let alone some rando that is in a position of authority
Starting point is 00:31:20 over you that you didn't pick very deliberately so i don't know i think we talked about stuff you can do but yeah this is a tricky one yeah and you'll the the thing is the stuff you'll have to do is totally situation dependent but what you need to do is change a belief and so you got to create an experience you got to do something different no amount of talking in your one-on-ones will have any effect on this i think yeah i mean especially if this person is a blowhard if they're they probably pride themselves on being like a decisive thinker that makes good judgment calls quickly and so unlikely to go back and re-examine core yeah give them a reason to make a new judgment call yeah a new snap judgment yeah all right have we answered the question i think so by the way i
Starting point is 00:32:05 would quit this job i would i would quit this manager maybe you can get a different job oh it's small startup you totally can small startup yeah and probably not at this startup maybe not at this startup but at another company perhaps like this this one sentence i just want to push back on it says i know from experience that there's an m at nearly every company that is true but it doesn't mean that that person's going to be your manager so that's in fact i think it's very rare so i think your chances of quitting and finding a better work arrangement are actually pretty good but it would also be a really fun experiment to try to see if you can change this person's beliefs about you yeah best of luck give it two days then quit your job give it a real
Starting point is 00:32:44 real serious college try yeah work your hardest give it give it the time it really needs to bake and then the week the week after that then you quit i mean i feel like there has been a theme lately of like you can just say the thing that you want you can do that you can say i think we talked last time about how you can say i would like to make an impact you can say hey i would like to change your perception of me and demonstrate yeah competence and maybe that would work yes and that's that's another great line from this book where they say you know whether it's true or not that you don't think i deserve a promotion or whatever negative thoughts you have about me that's not a belief i want you to hold
Starting point is 00:33:30 what do i need to do to change that belief for you yeah well i feel like it's been a while since you recommended a book i'll have to check it out yeah i don't recommend books very often that's because i don't read them very much i was waiting for you to say because i'm extremely picky nothing meets my exacting standards so picky that i won't even pick the book up all right i think this means we have answered the question what can people do if they want their own questions answered go to soft skills.audio and click the ask a question button we thank you one and all for submitting your wonderful questions we were just reminiscing on the large backlog of wonderful questions we have and it's fantastic please keep them coming you
Starting point is 00:34:15 are the lifeblood of this show yes indeed we will catch you next week I'll see you next time.

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