Some More News - Trump's Fascist Language, Electrocution vs. Shark Attack, and EVEN MORE Sex Mishaps

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

Hi. On the final "Even More News" of 2023, Katy, Cody, and Jonathan discuss Donald Trump being (temporarily) removed from the Colorado ballot, his fascist nighttime reading, J.D. Vance's sycophancy, and a mysterious award for right-wing social media influencers. HelloTUSHY is offering our listeners an exclusive limited time offer of 15% off your first bidet order PLUS FREE SHIPPING! Go to https://hellotushy.com/morenews for 15% off all bidets!  If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to https://drinkAG1.com/morenews.  Right now, Nuts.com is off ering new customers a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more at https://Nuts.com/morenews.  Check out our MERCH STORE: https://shop.somemorenews.com   SUBSCRIBE to SOME MORE NEWS: https://tinyurl.com/ybfx89rh...

hello and welcome back to even more news the first the only news podcast yeah i'm katie stole by the way katie stole and goodbye to that part and welcome to the rest of the episode i'm cody johnston the other person thank you thank you thank you you're welcome you're welcome you're welcome i don't know what i'm saying uh no guys just jonathan but not just jonathan it's jonathan just jonathan so rude just jonathan but i i meant that in a good way look it's not a bad thing that we don't have a guest we like when it's just jonathan i'm that's just jonathan That's nice. I appreciate that. And it's a few days before the holidays. What are we going to drag someone in here on December 21st from the comfort of their home?

I know we act like it's such a burden. Sit at home. Turn on your computer for an hour. Shoot the shit with people that are obviously awesome. I don't know, guys. I'm always like trying to catch a vibe do you ever catch vibes does it get away from you sometimes i catch a vibe from our when we meet people over zoom sometimes i don't i can always see it in your face now i've i've seen you over zoom so much

katie and i hope i'm not presumptuous in saying that but sometimes we have a guest and i see you kind of making a little twinkle in my eyes over the zoom no oh my gosh i'm blushing not really it feels like i'm blushing um well sometimes it's hard to tell i've had dates come from the podcast not many did they go they haven't worked out no they haven't they haven't but you know hey you never know stay tuned for our new show next year are you flirting with me where i just try to find out if our guests are flirting with me and the follow-up show did it go well did it go well no so three shows are you playing with me did it go well and no we've got a lot of content would you guys like a show where i interview people and just spend the whole time trying

to find out if they're flirting flirting with me hit me up in the dms in the comments hit us up speaking of hitting us up we got some holidays oh we got so many holidays good ones great ones all kinds december 21st national short story day huh okay yeah we like short stories yeah we do have favorite short stories that baby shoe one's pretty good i really like uh the story reunion by john cheever do you guys know that one i don't think no it's three pages you can read it in five minutes it's a great story i don't i like the um ben shapiro's book of short stories that we read on worst year ever that was good the actual first answer though i don't know if it i stand by it because it's been so long since i've read them but the nick adams stories uh ernest hemingway i loved those when i was younger but i should really

revisit without just throwing them out but i thought it might make me sound smart and great folks with yeah nick adams he's that uh conservative twitter troll right okay fake conservative twitter troll ernest hemingway yeah what's your favorite alpha short story ben shapiro okay we got more holidays we got more holidays december 22nd national cookie exchange day on account of the christmas proximity i i guess we've been exchanged this is like cookie exchange that is the essence of the holidays isn't it well it's not but it's a weird part of it we all want to bake people like to bake holiday cookies but you're getting all these cookies as gifts and then you're just giving them out as gifts as well and everybody's got far too many cookies to consume and then you feel bad because you're gonna have to throw away some of these cookies because they're gonna go stale

eat them so exchange them exchanging them we're just passing them back and forth cookies to each other staling it up but yeah eat them but they're delicious i was just looking up uh peanut butter cookie recipes oh Oh, peanut butter cookies. Doesn't that sound good? It does. A little fork print in it. I like peanut butter flavored things. Yeah.

Yeah, me too. Wait, those might be my favorite type of cookie. What are your, how about you guys? Your mom makes good sugar cookies, Cody. She does. I don't know about your mom, Jonathan. I don't know. I haven, Jonathan. I don't know. I haven't had a cookie my mom's made in 30 years.

Let me think. I mean, I like a solid chocolate chip, like a really well done. You swore off cookies at a young age? No, when I became like a preteen, my mom, I think, was just like, all right, I'm done. I don't need any cookies. That's probably not true. I'm sure she'll correct me. I'm sure she made cookies up to and until i i ventured off to college let's get to the bottom of this i would

imagine she still makes cookies i maybe maybe she still makes stuff like when i go visit her i am constantly being prodded of what i want to eat and drink and when. Well, maybe you should say cookies. I should. I haven't. But anyway, I like a good chocolate chip. I like a snickerdoodle. Snickerdoodle. I like snickerdoodles, all right.

Yeah. I like Buckeyes a lot. What the heck? I guess they're not really cookies. It's more like chocolate with peanut butter in it. They look like B like buckeyes um they're not cookies you're taking this into candy territory i'm thinking of those uh those the ones that are like cookies like sugar cookies and then you put a hershey kiss on the top like a oh yeah like i like those button yeah those are solid chocolate chip with some oatmeal in it maybe uh i like oatmeal. Or how about just those tins?

Those tins of cookies. Those like butter cookies. You know what? You know what I'm talking about? The tins and they have in the little wrappers. Had some. Already had some. What are they called?

Tins. It's like an obvious. No, it's an obvious. Cookies? Milanas. No. Butter cookies. What are the better cookie tins?

Well, I'm Googling it. Cut out any dead air. Butter cookie tins. I feel like just us listing different kinds of cookies could count as dead air, honestly. It's premium cookies, original. Okay, there's lots of them. Oh, there's lots. I thought it was one Tim.

Cambridge Tames butter Danish style cookies. Danish butter cookies are what we were dancing around. My mouth's watering just thinking about them. Danish butter cookies. Okay, well, I think we did it. Want some ads? I cannot wait. I don't even know what we did.

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Check it out. Tis the season for elections. It is the season. Oh, oh, oh. Okay. Boy, I'm already on vacation. It seems like my brain is. Jonathan, what are we starting off with? Mr. Trump?

We're going to start off with Mr. Donald J. Trump. Donald John President. Donald Trump is barred from holding public office under Section 3 of the 14th Amendment and thus can't appear on presidential ballots in the state. This is a big ruling, but of course it's going to be going to the Supreme Court where... Fly right up there. I guess we would imagine that they would say that this ruling doesn't count. But if it does, that really might be it for donald trump because then a bunch of other states are going to say they'll do states in which

he might have a shot right colorado is like okay he can't win in colorado like that's yeah yeah but if he's invalidated from states like if he's invalidated from six Midwestern states, that's it, right? Yeah, but it's very unlikely that the Supreme Court would uphold this ruling. Just so our listeners can make their own decision about whether or not Trump should be invalidated, I'm going to read a kind of paraphrased Section three of the 14th amendment which was done after the civil war for obvious reasons here's what it says uh no person shall hold any office civil or military who having previously taken an oath to support the constitution of the united states shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof what do you think about that?

I think your interpretations may vary. Your interpretations may vary. Yeah, much like much of the Constitution, your interpretations may vary. There's a lot of compelling evidence that he did try poorly to do an insurrection. Kind of doesn't matter if it was bad right like it was kind of a silly event that failed but the quality and the success of it doesn't really matter in this case if you have a president who's trying to do that and they're bad at it you don't like it still counts. But you would think that and I don't even mean to say but but based on conversations or the. The way that it's being framed is that this wasn't that the use of the word insurrection is wrong to describe what that was is one of the arguments I've seen because an insurrection would actually suggest. seen because an insurrection would actually suggest which there was planning but a different kind of planning involving different grades of weapons and whatnot that's the argument i hear and i'm like okay so call it a riot call it trying to do that then you can't trying to stop the

peaceful changing of power you know trying to interrupt the constitution what what what do you call it what do you call it if not insurrection or rebellion or rebellion it's but this is the gray area i'm saying this because this is the gray area of which we dance at the moment because you're right it was silly and ineffective and what were the intentions of it you know but then the having the the argument being like if this was really intended you would have the military involved in some capacity you would do xyz otherwise this isn't a serious threat to the uh actual government but it is to our democracy you know so it's yeah yeah i'm of many minds of this um decision actually i've seen i see a lot of people like complaining about it for various reasons i mean a lot of republicans seem to

forget that they refer to this as an insurrection when it happened. And then a few months went by and like, it's nothing, it's nothing. But they were very clear up top. Jonathan Chait doesn't think it's an insurrection. I'm going to read the phrase. I'm just going to read this paragraph. The weak point in this argument is the finding that Trump's behavior constitutes insurrection. This is a defensible shorthand for January 6th, one I've used frequently myself, but it's not the most precise term. When I have the chance to use a longer description, I generally say that Trump attempted to secure an unelected second term in office. That's an interesting phrase. second term in office that's an interesting phrase we do have words like we have words for a reason because they represent longer phrases like yeah it's especially funny like chate's

he's such a fascinating fella um because even sentence to sentence uh he's complaining about the word insurrection but it's not the most precise term. When I say something, I generally say, so like you're, it's not precise enough, but you have a general thing that you say. No, you should have a precise thing that you say, not this general like phrase that you throw around if you're complaining about the precision

of the other term. I love how he's like, when I have a chance to use many, i love how he's like when i have a chance to use many many words is that like when people aren't screaming like please stop please no more words you don't need to you don't need as many words chain so but like he's just a one guy whatever uh it's just interesting so i'm gonna actually i've got a few sort of like pit pins about this so i'm gonna read this read this tweet from Robert F. Kennedy Jr. If Trump is kept out of office through judicial fiat rather than being defeated in a fair election, his supporters will never accept the result.

This country will become ungovernable. I'm going to read two of the top replies to this. How will there ever be a fair election when nothing was done about the cheating from the last election? Another one. OK, not reposting this. They stole 2020 from us already. Just anecdotal, you know, just a couple of tweets, but perhaps that's evidence that no matter what happens, they will not accept the results. perhaps uh there was a fair election that they didn't accept they'll accept the results if you win so you know whether it makes it worse that you know is to be seen but just the idea that like if if you if you do this his supporters

aren't gonna aren't gonna support the results well yeah when do they ever when do they ever if he is to lose at the ballot box you know it's it's like things can just happen and then you can say if this happened this might happen like well yeah it just happened it already happened he lost at the ballot box and his supporters would not accept it so they tried to do this thing the thing the thing about if what are they gonna do is storm the capital problem with if then types of arguments is that's true of literally everything if we don't then what yeah if we do then what there's always that calculation we don't fucking know the way everything's gonna play out it's

what do we do right now with the information we have available which is overwhelmingly that the election was not stolen yeah it's a little yeah it's a little frustrating because i do i do um understand the sort of viewpoint of like well you know uh this is gonna is gonna make everybody mad and like you know if you want to really uh you want to defeat trump like defeat him at the ballot box did already but it is that thing it's like well we don't know and i don't know if like i think like the reaction of people to these sort of things kind of needs to be like extracted from the conversation it's impossible to do that but i don't know if we should be operating based off of like what his supporters might or might not do in response to something like if you think that it was like

an insurrection attempt failed or otherwise then you should not want this person to be able to run for president because the constitution says that they shouldn't and if it's going to make you know a section of his supporters like angry that's not very compelling this doesn't super matter because you need to address the thing that happened right this idea that like we need to like take their feelings into account instead of at least vaguely attempting to hold the person accountable for the thing they did. I don't know.

It's very silly. And I also see a lot of people like, you know, some of the Republicans like, well, if you're going to do, if you're going to do this to Trump, just get ready because it's going to come right back at you. They're going to do it right back at you.

And a few responses to that. One, I don't think Joe Biden's leading an insurrection to the Capitol. And if he does, then all right. Like if this happens and Joe Biden is the guy behind it, go ahead and bar him from running again oh it would save us some trouble if they bar joe biden from running again we could really get to work now go for it woe is us oh no joe biden can't run and you know time will tell on this um a lot of the because a lot of the republican response to a lot of the stuff is well you know if you do this to us, we're going to do it to you, as if everything is made up about the initial thing. I don't know if anybody recalls, they said the exact same thing about

impeachment. If you impeach Donald Trump, we're going to, we're going to impeach Joe Biden. We're going to do it. And Donald Trump was impeached a couple times. uh joe biden is currently uh they're doing a an impeachment inquiry based on nothing again time will tell but well it doesn't seem like they have anything layout well it's based on their feelings they don't have any evidence of anything what's the accusation it involves this involves joe biden's brother james is his name james where is that well that's just the person they interviewed this week so the the whole impeachment proceeding involves the hunter stuff the james stuff the thing this week is another example what happened was they interviewed a woman who used to work or who is a trustee for this now defunct health care company called AmeriCorps.

That company gave James Biden a $600,000 loan in 2018 because James Biden said he could use his family name to secure funding for them from the Middle East. He never did. There was never any, just like with the Hunter stuff. There was very little follow through and there's no evidence that Joe Biden himself directly benefited except for the fact that James Biden used this money to repay a loan. But Joe Biden, who again, was not a in office at the time, in 2018, probably had no idea about any connection. So it's really like kind of grasping at straws to try and find any connection of impropriety, again, while Joe Biden was not the president. Right. Because even this scenario, if you ask anybody in charge of this inquiry,

and anyone in the Republican Party, like, okay, but what's the what's the joe biden crime and they'll say we're looking for high crimes and misdemeanors what's the crime high crimes crimes the crime is crimes you can't like that's it there's nothing there they're trying to find a connection that he knew about it or something that he knew that this was happening oh come on don't give me that he knew bullshit i mean like i don't love that his brother did that but it's not joe biden nobody does or should uh there are hunter things i don't like our system yeah um family members shouldn't be making money off of uh their name like that and there are things to fix about that but that's not what they care about no it certainly is not and so uh when they say

well if you do this we're going to do it right back at you well no you're going to try to but it won't work because you're making stuff up like nobody made up thing that trump did like 13 or like 18 republicans voted to impeach him so it just it's just it's one of those weird empty threats. It's like, I guess, go for it. And if he did something wrong, go for it. Nobody is like, oh, no, don't prosecute for crimes. Don't impeach for crimes. So I don't know. The whole thing is... It's also so weird that we're in this phase right now where Republicans are doing this kind of an impeachment inquiry, while at the same time as we're all so mad at joe biden for something very legitimate he's a in my estimation he's a war criminal he's as responsible for the tens of thousands of deaths because he supported it with

funding and and weapons and continues to with rhetoric and so but it's like well i guess i gotta defend joe biden against this stupid yeah. Yeah, it's perpetually frustrating. I mean, that's, I feel like we've talked about this a lot. It's just like Republicans being so mad at sometimes the right people for like absolutely the wrong reasons. But, you know, again, I do understand the concern of like, you know, what precedent is this setting? And like, do we want to defeat, do, do we wanna defeat Trump by just removing,

like making him not able to run? I agree generally that like, it would be better and nice to be able to have the entire country vote against this person, like unequivocally, like not like, ah, there's a pandemic and it wasn't going well, and then all this sort of stuff floating around where you're offered again,ald trump or anybody else and it would be nice if everybody voted for the other

person so i do understand that concern um and the like the sort of protection of democracy but at the same time as shane lays out he tried to get a second unelected term so i don't you know yeah like by the by the phrasing of section 3 of the 14th amendment like obviously he's not eligible to run again obviously he's disqualified is there an argument that that could backfire sure you know that could backfire i don't know it could backfire now it could backfire down the line in some unimaginables the situation that we have no context for but you know again we have to work with the best is that we have at the moment like i see both sides i see the i see all of it i see all sides both sides uh fine arguments on both sides um but like do we want to do we want to like

have this thing happen and everybody like on both sides be like well that was fucked up i can't believe they did that um and then there are no consequences so like he'll try it again like right you know i don't know it's just like giving a free pass for a lot of things. I think Trump's best defense for this issue and any sort of charges he faces over the insurrection was like, well, I didn't know they were going to do that. Right. You know, which is probably true. Like, he obviously liked it while it was happening and was like maybe this shit will work but you know he probably did not expect what happened to happen he just says things like that's probably his best defense but also like the fake elector stuff like there's like there are two different

issues right there's like the day and like the spectacle of it all at the capital but there's also the stuff behind the scenes and all these people making moves to try to steal the election and his defense there is like well the lawyers told me it is legal if we you know that there's different electors that people can bring objections how am i supposed to know what the constitutional lawyers are how am i supposed to know what the constitutional lawyers are telling me i'm just the president like who's to say what's sedition and what's not uh and if a lawyer's telling you it's not sedition i just think like like he's such an obvious bumbler i think some sort of defense like that might work out very well it might it certainly has worked with him worked out for him a lot in

his life uh what was he saying the other day about like choosing between being electrified and fighting a shark what i miss this entirely trump reveals he'd rather die by electrocution than by shark yeah you know what i have to agree with him on that one. Wow. I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I don't think I'd want to die by a shark over. I mean, electric electrocuting sounds terrible as well, but a shark.

Well, because I guess stormy Daniels said at one point that he's obsessed with sharks and he's terrified of them. And he told her, he said, i donate to all these charities and i would never donate to any charity that helps sharks i hope all the sharks die and he has tweeted this is a tweet from july 4th july 4th 2013 do to him he tweets sorry folks just not a fan of sharks and don't worry they will be around long after we're gone sharks are last on my list other than perhaps the losers and haters of the world okay so do you want me to

do you want me to play this clip from october 1st of this year sure that sounds like a real fun holiday treat for us all and i'm gonna be also watching this for the first time so raw reaction usually i'm i've got prepared reactions this is the first time. So raw reaction. Usually I've got prepared reactions. This is the raw reaction. All right, here we go. But if I'm sitting down and that boat's going down and I'm on top of a battery. What? And the water starts flooding in.

I'm getting concerned. But then I look 10 yards to my left and there's a shark over there. So I have a choice of electrocution or shock. You know what I'm going to take? Electrocution. I will take electrocution every single time. Do we agree? I will take electrocution.

Mild applause for the audience. What is he doing? He just likes to riff. He's a riffer. God, he's so good at that. People are like, yeah, sure, I guess so. Absolutely. yeah sure i guess so yeah absolutely and i don't want to speculate because i really don't know much about drugs but he's on some alertness drug that also gives him cotton mouth which is why

electrocution comes out a little weird yeah i don't know what it is that's doing that but you you know that i feel like right that's some sort of alertness thing yeah to keep it sounded like he's got dentures or something maybe he's working around sounds like he's got dentures he's trying to accommodate yeah it's uh anyway i'm sorry for bringing that up in the context of him. Why would you ever apologize for that? I don't know. What a beautiful moment we all share together.

It's much nicer than some of the other stuff he said in the last couple weeks that we got together. That is true. Oh, my God. You're right. We're going to take a quick break for ads. Ever wish you could go to Willy Wonka's factory? I sure do. Closest I ever got was breaking into that gelatin factory owned by Ferraro International.

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In one respect, it's the same versions of what he's been saying for years, but he's using very targeted language. So saying things like they're poisoning the blood of our country all over the world. They're pouring into our country. Nobody's even looking at them. They're ruining our country. They're destroying our country all over the world they're pouring into our country nobody's even looking at them they're ruining our country uh they're destroying our country they don't like it when i said that and i never read mein kampf they said oh hitler said that in a much different way uh they could bring in disease that's going to catch on in our country i'd like uh somebody to be like how different how do you know you haven't you

haven't read mind conf and you don't you're not doing this but you know that he said it in a different way let's finish this quote though they're coming from all over the world they could be healthy they could be very unhealthy they could bring in disease that's going to catch on in our country yeah so this is he's not mincing words here he's talking about the outsiders poisoning the blood of our nation like it's one of those things that like we could really unpack the phrase and like pinpoint like this is why it's hitler's stuff but i don't think we need to i think if you're an honest person you don't really need that to be done for you, especially our audience.

Obviously, I'm fascinated by a lot of the response to this. I'm going to read this J.D. Vance response to this quote. So this is J.D. Vance's response to people being like, I don't know that poisoning our blood comment seems pretty fashy. That's that's no good. First of all, he didn't say immigrants were poisoning the blood of this country. He said illegal immigrants were poisoning the blood of this country. Which is objectively and obviously true to anybody who looks at the statistics about fentanyl overdoses.

What? who looks at the statistics about fentanyl overdoses. What? Yeah, so I don't think that maybe J.D. Vance heard the quote where he talked about how they're coming from all over the place and ruining the country, destroying the country, and with their disease. He mentioned their diseases, their unhealthy diseases.

He's not talking about drugs, J.D. He's talking about their diseases. He knows. He knows he's being bad faith. Yeah. He's trying to spin it. He's doing the thing, the gymnastics that they do to not have to acknowledge that their guy is a monster. their guy is a monster uh why do you think that donald trump's language is targeted at the blood of the immigrants and not at the blood of the american citizens who are being poisoned by the

fentanyl problem vance continues this is ridiculous if you watch the speech in context and look at what's going on it's obvious that he was talking about the very clear fact that the blood of americans is being poisoned by a drug epidemic he said they're diseases jd he said they're unhealthy diseases jd i fucking hate jd vance so much yeah yeah well because trump is not pretending trump is not saying he's being taken out of context he's saying they poison mental institutions and prisons all over the world not just in south america not just the three or four countries that we think about but all over the world they're coming into our country from africa from asia he's like he's like he could not be more clear that he's like who he's talking about why he's talking about them and that he's very clearly not talking about fentanyl or any drug whatsoever what a piece of shit i fucking hate jd vance so much

did jd vance mention the the mind comp stuff the comparisons to hitler so are all the like weird trump hitler yeah did you touch that i mean he said that the comparison to hitler is absurd okay is that what you mean like yeah uh let's talk about the mind confident comment and then to immediately assume that he's talking about immigrants as adolf hitler was talking about jews is preposterous you guys need to wake up it's an absurd question it's an absurd framing fuck you jd eat shit get out of ohio ohio has enough problems should we talk about it's so flat should we talk about the mind should we talk about the mind comp thing uh yeah we can talk about that as well well you know he's trying to distance himself

from it but we've got reports this is old this should be old news to most of us i'm sure we've talked about it no we have a lot it's old, we have. A lot. It's all news. We definitely have. But Ivana Trump said in 1990 that Donald kept the book of Hitler's speeches next to his bed. It's not Mein Kampf, but it came after Mein Kampf. It's my new order. It's just his speeches. My new order. But Trump has admitted that he had it.

He was given it. It was given to him by a friend. He said that he said it was okay because he's a Jew but then the guy was like i'm not a jew yeah so trump trump was asked about this because ivana trump said this um i believe it was i think it's in her book um and she described like yeah he had this book of hitler speeches on his bedside table next to next to his bed where he sleeps you know where some might keep their bible yeah um trump then recalled actually it was my friend marty davis from paramount who gave me a copy of mein kampf and he's a jew uh so that's the president saying that um and then um davis did not

did acknowledge that he gave trump a book about hitler um here's the quote but it was my new order hitler's speeches, not Mein Kampf. I thought he would find it interesting. I am his friend, but I'm not Jewish. There's that quote. And then- It's very funny. And it's very funny.

And then Trump, another quote from him, if I had these speeches and I am not saying that I do, I would never read them. So this is fascinating because you just said that you got mind comp from your jewish friend but then it's this other book that you actually didn't have but if you did you didn't read it and you assumed that your buddy who worked for paramount pictures in hollywood was jewish i'll also share this one last little tidbit in the vanity fair article ivana trump told a friend that her husband's cousin john walter quote

clicks his heels and says heil hitler when visiting trump's office that's just that's just office humor now that's just some fun goof about we're just goofing around um it's very weird um and like again like you know you see like all these like resurfaced if on this isn't resurfaced everybody's been talking about this since 2016 2015 like this isn't this isn't new stuff he's just kind of playing the hits um and maybe turning the volume up a little bit but nobody will ever ask him to his face about this, and if they do, he'll talk about sharks and electricity or something.

Fun stuff. It's quite something to see. So, I don't know. It's a very awful situation we have here. Like, we're talking about it, but, like, we're making a big deal about it. We're talking about it, but still, it's so normalized

of like oh yeah the the main republican like the front runner to be the president in a year is just like and like it still hasn't sunk in because it's basically the same stuff he said eight years ago exactly so it's like we're talking about the language he's saying poisoning the blood of our country which is like oh that does feel like you're ratcheting it up from exactly it's hard to ratchet up from well they're rapists and right yeah they're all like they're all rapists oh this guy's it's yeah it's mad it's maddening because it is like it is the same stuff and it's the same kind of arguments that you could make like no it's this and this and this and this and this and this he He's saying this kind of stuff. But like, I think there's there's like a he's also he has also recently said that he would be a dictator for a day, I believe. No, they asked him.

So you're using dictatorial language. Are you going to be a dictator? And he's like, just day one for the border and to drill, baby, drill or whatever. And then I'm not a dictator anymore, even though what I think there was it was just reported that we set a record in drilling this year in oil production we're drilling baby congratulations to us yeah biden's drilling baby drilling yeah that's not um that's not an issue for us at the moment it's just uh yeah and like there's a you know the reaction to that from so much of the republican party is like ah he's just saying that or like yeah that's good we want that or like he only said day one um it's just this uh very

alarming rationalization that again is not new it's like they're like well he couldn't possibly be serious about that why well he's just talking about fentanyl. So. Oh, gosh. Okay. Well, we're bearing down hard on the end of this show and the beginning of holiday vacation. Oh, yeah. And Jonathan's prepared a surprise story. Surprise. That we have no idea what it is. But before we do that, Cody, you had a little something you were going to test out. We'll see how it goes.

We'll see how it goes. This is also, this is a surprise for me and jonathan this is stupid parody surprises for you guys sorry so last night uh x formerly twitter uh went down for about an hour i don't know if anybody's aware of that yes i went down for about an hour spaces still work for that hour so there's a lot of spaces of people talking about the apocalypse twitter goes down semi-regularly it's always absurd like the end of the website get Spaces still work for that hour. So there are a lot of spaces of people talking about the apocalypse. Twitter goes down semi-regularly. It's always absurd. Like, the end of the website.

Get fucked. He's fucking. But there's this tweet from this account. And I was going to read the tweet first. Thank you, X, for getting us back up. At Elon Musk. Spaces was our flashlight. Just a beautiful tweet by itself. Like an amazing sort of like come on get real just like log off for an hour what are you talking about spaces was our flashlight

get out of here um it's from this account uh and the at is america's great and the name of the account is futurist and they have a gold check mark and 14 000 followers and following and a link to they say she says she's the president of social influencer awards.com and if you go to social influencer awards.com it's this like weird like it's just a bunch of right-wing twitter accounts and like like the ceo of x is on there nominated james woods juanita broderick's there roger stone the gateway pundit and then like aoc is randomly there and it's this bizarre website where it says that they announced the the nominees for this a few like weeks ago and i can't tell if these are like if it's just this list of like thousands of nominees for social influencer. But there's no information about this place or where this came from.

And if you go to the about section, it says that it just popped up and it's the president is this woman, Maria Gomez. And then I found Maria Gomez and it matches the picture from her Twitter account. But she's a realtor in Florida for Renaissance Properties, New York. And I don't have anything to say about this. It's like I was going through this i'm like is this an ai person with a gold check mark doing some fake awards no like i'll tell you what this is look in as much as the webbies and streamies are also like made up things they've kind of been like agreed upon by the community that like this is the thing we're gonna go for and this person wants to be that yeah and they're just like i want to be bigger in the right wing twitter world so i'm

gonna create the award to give to them the sia the social influence right like that's what i like arrived at eventually it's just this bizarre like it's the beginning of the webbies right but it's like but it's this weird this there's this weird layer of like the x grift right yes where it's like you're like all your tweets could have been written by a bot it's like just justice like all these all caps tweets and stuff and it's just like by by the like like going through the motions of like having a right-wing twitter account and then creating this fake thing so you can award yourself and then buying a gold check mark so that you can get boosted to give yourself these awards and um there's nothing like interesting necessarily to say about it i just found a little fun i just found this account

fascinating yeah also it says december 1st announcement of entries in each categories voting goes live on x they mean categories they let you mean categories i can't find any announcement i don't think anyone's submitted and so they're just deciding that tim yeah that's how you have to do it that's how you have to do it welcome to the social influencer awards where we recognize the best speak out influencers it's just like the whole thing it's it's silly um and quite sad actually uh jonathan what's your surprise story for us yeah i i've had a few of these it was this wasn't it i know you blew it account you blew it uh no i've had like a couple i was just like wanted to bounce like an offbeat news story you know to to end the show to end the year um

and i've had a few rattling around and i want to go with this one so there's a new study scientific study out of munich uh suggesting that penile fractures are much more common at christmas time than at other times of the years stay safe out there folks uh researchers analyzed hospital data for more than 3 000 men and found penis fractures which occur during quote aggressive sexual intercourse are more common on weekends during the summertime and especially at christmas time so as you might imagine a lot of people are at home the holidays and are drinking and in celebratory moods so a lot of yeah aggressive warm ways to knock injuries are happening but I I read through this story but and the study which was

published in the British Journal of urology international and I just want to read a few quotes from the study itself because they had some fun with this. The authors, as scientists, are wont to do. You gotta have a little fun. So here's a few quotes from the study. In Germany, Christmas is widely celebrated. Quote, it's the most wonderful time of the year. There is always much mistletoeing and hearts are glowing when loved ones are near.

End quote. In other words, Christmas might be a risk factor for penile fractures due to the christmas spirit related to the intimacy and euphoria of these holly jolly days besides how can you celebrate christmas without children a couple more things without making children i believe that that's the implication, I think. Because I don't think children would be involved. Yeah, one hopes. Even though we cannot, of course, recommend against having sex during these periods, our findings ring the alarm bell and not the jingle bells.

Oh, my goodness gracious. This is a fun one. Yeah. It's cute of them. Good for them. Cute of them. And you know what? Good on you, Jonathan, for bringing this to our attention.

We need to spread awareness of the increased risk of penile fractures. Take care of your penises. Fractures. Take care of your penises. Fractures. Here's their conclusion. Do you know somebody that has one and had that happen and was very upsetting and I think always crooked

did it happen wait okay did it happen at christmas time i don't have the specifics but always crooked that's the thing that had happened to them yeah um the here's the conclusion of the study the present high volume high quality real real world data demonstrate that last christmas penile fractures occurred more often this year to save us from tears we will not do something special parentheses the new christmas hit of the year oh last christmas Penile fractures rose. That is... Last Christmas. Yeah, that works, sort of. No, it doesn't at all.

I really don't think it does. I read this a couple times, and I was like, oh, they did use the phrase last Christmas in the beginning of the sentence, and I didn't catch it until I got to this year to save us from tears. I thought I was like, oh, last Christmas last Christmas that's fun I'll do a little thing but then they it kept going

and then they got there we will not do something special uh the conclusion is that um they recommend that couples reduce wild sex over the they use the phrase wild sex uh to to avoid penile fractures

so no surprise calm this year folks have the wild sex just be gentle be tender this year and then when spring comes around really get into it next worst case scenario you got a crooked dick so what yeah i figured it's the last episode of 2023 we can really stretch the phrase even more oh yeah we can scrape the bottom of the even more barrel even more dicks what other dick news we got i have i had poop news as uh my other surprise story but you know it didn't feel festive i think that this feels really festive yeah jonathan's cat's tail slowly coming down in front of his face yeah well it's a little bit chilly here so one cat is trying to get in the bed with the other cat and is testing the waters of

cuddling don't break your dick cat yeah be careful out there folks i already said that once but i'm saying it again be careful out there folks third time's a charm oh boy this is it for us this year which sounds alarming but not really because we're so close to the end of the year we're barely be gone you'll still be dealing with all of your family nonsense and joy sense and perhaps rehabilitating from some festive injuries but we will be back soon i'm and hopefully we'll be back with our very first social influencer award yeah we're gunning for it should i start submitting us to this thing? Yeah, just submit us every day. I feel like she would take our submission. We'll work on that.

And gosh, thanks guys for being so fucking rad. And while we're gone, spaces will be your flashlight. Spaces will be your flashlight. Well, you know, fucking happy holidays. Yeah. And I guess we love you Well, you know, fucking happy holidays.

Yeah. And I guess we love you very much. I know we do. I know we do too. Have you ever heard that story that Napoleon used the Egyptian Sphinx for target practice and shot its nose off? Or maybe you've heard that a French astrologer named Nostradamus correctly predicted nearly 500 years of human history. Or maybe someone told you that the legendary blues guitarist Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil at a crossroads in Mississippi.

These stories are what I like to call historical myths. Great little tales that may or may not have any basis in historical fact. On Our Fake History, we explore these historical myths and try to determine what's fact, what's fiction, and what is such a good story. It simply must be told. If you dig stories about death-obsessed emperors, lost civilizations, desperate sieges, voodoo black magic, and famous historical figures you thought you knew, then Our Fake History might just be your new favorite podcast. If you dig it, then subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.