Something Was Wrong - S13 Ep18: [Claire + Riley] He's Done It Again

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

*Content Warning: This episode includes descriptions of grooming, sexual and emotional abuse of minors, disordered eating, obsessive compulsive disorder and suicidal ideation. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resources Follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram @SomethingWasWrongPodcastSWW’s theme music –  U think U by Glad Rags, from their album Wonder Under. 

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Amazing. I just finished paying off all my debt with the help of the Credit Counseling Society. Whoa, seriously? I could really use their help. It was easy. I called and spoke with it. the credit counselor right away. They asked me about my debt, salary, and regular expenses,

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their own and do not necessarily represent my views. Resources and source material are linked in the episode notes. Thank you so much for listening. In July of 2008, I got a text from him saying that he had to go up to the high school and talk to our principal because something was up. I had friends that knew he was texting me all the time because, again, I did not realize this was a hard boundary. I figured the licensed teacher would know the boundaries, and if he were the one initiating all of the conversation,

it must be okay. He said everything was okay after that meeting because he had another teacher come in and back him up. This teacher had students, babysit his kid, and Mr. Smith made it seem like all I was doing was helping with his dog. That teacher defended him. However, that teacher was not treating students the way Mr. Smith was treating me. We continue to text and see each other, and someone tipped off our school again. He got in trouble this time, but administration acted as if it had never happened, swept under the rug. I was never asked if I was okay, or if I needed anything. They only cared

about their status and reputation as a school. Mr. Smith started making me feel like everything was 100% my fault, and I should feel guilty about talking to him so much. He told me to delete every single message, email, and text that I should be prepared to defend myself. I wholeheartedly believed him and thought it was all my fault, even though he continued to email me on an old email, telling me how bad he was and how much he still loved me. To this day, I still don't know who did that, but I was private about him texting me. I was private about what the text said, but I wasn't holding it back. So my close friends knew, and there was one time where I went to a driving range, and I went with a friend because I didn't want to be with him by myself, and I knew he was going to be there. He was

teaching me how to swing and he put his arms around me and I could not believe that. I have never gulped since. That friend saw it happen. So I don't know if it was her. I don't know if it was my friends or they told their parents. I truly have no idea who did it. I wrote our administration a long letter taking blame for it all. I thought it was all my fault because he did not give me a choice in the situation even though I was the minor. That's when rumors started. He knew he would not have a problem with the rumors because, like I said before, he had a great reputation and was very well liked. Why would they ever blame him? He did not care one bit that I took the blame. I was not the professional with a moral obligation to stay away from relationships with students.

I was not the professional who went through specific training to understand boundaries and what is against the law. I was not the married adult trying to have a relationship with an underage girl. He never ever said sorry. He loved that I took the blame. because it kept him on his pedestal. He did not have the maturity or the dignity to take ownership of his unforgivable actions. There were rumors going around as I started my junior year in high school that we were having sex in a relationship which was so far from the truth. We never did anything sexual because I was visibly scared. He would say he couldn't wait for me to be 18 and he kissed me on the forehead for now. The rumors were endless and students would even say things to my face,

especially the older athletes who were around him all the time at practices. People didn't understand the predator that he was and the massive hold he had over me. He was such a loved teacher. So many people wanted him for their classes. Of course, it was easy for others to be like, there's no way he would do that. He would tell people that I was the one who would text him all of my problems, and it was all my fault when in reality he would be extremely upset when I did not reciprocate his love. He was the one who would get mad when I didn't answer his text right away.

He was the one who would constantly reach out and email me even after he got in trouble. He was the one who would summon me over to his house when his wife was out of town even after he got in trouble. He was the one who said he wanted to divorce his wife, and he was the one who lied to administration. I was not in a place where I could ever say no because I was so scared of what he would say or do. All the while, students still loved him. He did make me feel so loved. He knew exactly the right words to say, to fall into his trap, because he knew he had that power over me.

It scares me to think of what would have happened had I been 18 and not underaged. Now looking back, I see how clear his intentions were, to prey on an innocent, naive, young female. I became deeply depressed, hated my life from all of these rumors, and I still had two years of high school left. I had to start seeing a therapist regularly and was that guy. diagnosed with depression and obsessive compulsion disorder, leading to a form of anorexia. He was so in control of my life that my brain was reacting in a way where it needed to control

something. So the obsessive compulsive thoughts and actions began. Some examples were having to walk around the bathroom 17 times, which was now my age, until I was allowed to leave the bathroom. I had to turn my bedroom lights on and off 17 times as well. Everything in my room had to look a certain way. After everyone went to bed, I would spend hours. fixing everything downstairs. Then it became about more than just these rituals. I would open the pantry, being so hungry, but my brain would say that if I eat anything,

my mom would die in a plane crash on the way to our business trip. That continued any time I wanted to eat for weeks. My mind would always turn it into something morbid, like my loved ones dying in a horrific way. I wanted to die. I wanted to turn my car into oncoming traffic because somehow I thought that was the only solution. With therapy and treatment,

this was able to be controlled to an extent. However, I'm still in the same treatment 15 years later. For the rest of high school, it was all avoidance. Sometimes we would say hi to each other, but for the most part, we kept our distance. I was still an athlete, so many times I could not escape him. And soccer was my life. I played soccer year-round, indoor, outdoor, school, and club. There were points where I couldn't play anymore, where my mom and my coach would talk and say, until she's better, until she goes through treatment, she can't play soccer anymore. Having those two years left in high school still was detrimental to my mental health. After graduation, somehow we kept in touch on Facebook, messaging every now and then.

He continued to tell me how I was such a great girl and how successful I would be in college and beyond. At this point, I had tried to forgive him in hopes he was bettering himself. However, I realized I was forgiving someone who was never even sorry. During my junior year of college, I got a text that Mr. Smith was asked to resign because of an inappropriate sexual relationship with the student. I could not believe it was happening again. If only the school had done something when it happened with me, with their carelessness and failure to see the red flags did not protect Claire. I decided to message her, knowing how much she had to have been hurting, and she responded immediately. Like I said, I had never really talked to her before.

We ended up talking for three hours that night. I told her everything. And we both cried. I will never forget that she apologized, which is like insane. She was like, I'm sorry that I didn't stop him because ultimately he got what he wanted from you. I remember hearing that and thinking, maybe this isn't my fault. Maybe this isn't me doing something bad. Maybe this is him being a groomer, which at that point I didn't really even know that word because I

I feel like that word has kind of become more popular in the last decade. An important note is that while a few people knew some details, absolutely no one knew my whole story. Once I was shut down by my school's administration, I felt so small with no voice. The amount of guilt I felt when I found out he did it to someone else with something I had never felt. While I did know, it was not my fault. I've always thought I was partially to blame because I didn't fight hard enough. While Claire and I connected, we realized that every single detail that happened between them, was the exact same with me, except for the physicality of theirs, because she was 18, so he

altered his methods for her. I went home for Thanksgiving break, and I was laying in bed with my mom. I decided, in order to do what I need to do for myself, I need to be honest. So I told my mom everything, and she wasn't shocked. She wasn't surprised. She was like, we knew. We knew this. But we needed you to sort of be willing to come to us about her.

it. It was from that moment that I realized this is going to be a long road and take a lot of work, but this man is a predator and this man has taken his responsibility as a teacher and used it to take things from children. He got what he wanted from me and it's very scary to me that he was able to do that. That's frightening. If he can do that to me, if he can convince me and sort of brainwash me to think that what I was doing was okay. There must be other girls. This is not normal. That was definitely the turning point where I was like, I'm willing to talk about this. I'm willing to do something about this. If it wasn't for Riley, I don't think that I probably would have gotten to that point. I think the most important part of this story, and this is the part that I always get emotional

about, I'm going to try not to. My dad will tell this part of the story and he can't tell it without getting emotional, but he says that when him and my mom, who again are divorced, went in and talked to the school about this, specifically our principal, they said, we believe that our daughter, Claire, is having a relationship with Mr. Smith. And my dad says that our principal put her fist down on her desk and shook her head and said the words, he's done it again. As a parent, I can't. I can't really imagine, but hearing that ruined me because I just felt like it was your job to protect me. It was your job to make sure this never happens, but let alone the words that she used again, like, what the hell? In the whole grand scheme of things, that one detail of the story will never

not affect me. Ten years down the road, I've done a lot of work and I've learned a lot in way, I'm glad this did happen to me because I am really proud of how strong I am. But the fact that she said he's done it again baffles me because that's admitting you're accountable and being aware of this person's potential and being aware of what this person has the possibility of doing. And you didn't protect me. You let it happen again. So that was really hard for me. I think this has given me a good opportunity to learn a lot about myself. Riley, who's now become a really important part of my life, and I think ultimately that was the turning point where I decided, I want to do something about this. And I'm happy that that was where my mindset shifted.

Riley and I talked about sort of how we wanted to know approach this, what we wanted to do. I think having each other gave us a lot more confidence than we would have had on our own. That was when we decided to do something about it. I told my mom about it all, and she was full force on my side, was going after him. We wrote letters to administration, letters to his wife, and letters to him directly. And say, we found each other. We know what you did to both of us. Even though our stories are different, you're the same gross, manipulative predator.

It's disgusting all these similarities and the same things that you would say in the way that you'd say them. It's truly repulsive. You should be mortified that we found each other and sort of like jokes on you, but not that lighthearted. So we both wrote in these really long letters. Both of ours had their own unique tones. Personally, I was like, this will not define me. You may have tricked me. You may have gotten what you wanted from me, but I see exactly who you are. I see what you did, who you did it to, how you did it. You have a sick problem. You never should have been a teacher. You should not have a family. You should not have one ounce of positivity in your life because you abuse people. You take their trust and their vulnerability and you manipulate it.

I wanted him to know that what he took from me wasn't something that I was proud of, but I just wanted him to know that I saw who he really is and what he was doing. I didn't even really think that it would resonate with him. I wanted to embarrass him because even in that short period of time, my sadness had really shifted to anger. You took something from me. You took that special experience, but also you took this time of my life. I was supposed to be enjoying the first few weeks of college that has been ruined for me. You've put me in such a dark, dark, dark place and that's not me. And I, I can't have you put me in that place any longer. So we wrote in these notes and my dad, to this day,

I don't know how my dad had the restraint that he did because as I think about having my own kids, I don't even want to think about what I would do if someone did this to my child, but my dad drove Riley and I to his place of work. It was actually the day before my birthday. It was over winter break and I had come home back to my parents' house back to where I went to high school.

and so did Claire. At this point, her parents were also very involved. I'm not sure where that information came from, but somehow we knew exactly where he was working. So we drove to that store and saw his car in the parking lot, so we knew he was there. We took a deep breath and we walked inside. We found him, and shockingly, he met us with a smile,

even though he had been fired. Well, actually, they asked him to resign because that was one last thing that they had to do to make their school look bad. He was like, how are you guys doing? And we did not say anything. We just handed the letters and left. He obviously wasn't working at the school anymore. He had been very swiftly let go. But he was working at a business that we had figured out.

And as he was leaving, we got out of the car, the two of us, which I think he was probably, probably very shocked to see us together. We walked up to him. I know he was shocked. I'll never forget the look on his face. We gave him the letters. And I think at that point, he probably kind of put two and two together.

Like, this is in a pleasant experience. And he kind of grabbed the letters and made his way to his car. Who knows if he read them, who knows what he did with them? I think someone with the ability to treat others the way that he does. I didn't really expect him to take those

and read them and really be more. moved by them, but it was more trying to do it for me, and I think Riley felt the same way. I gave my letter to Claire, and then she went and delivered the ones to his house. He told me to delete everything, so I did what he said, and I deleted absolutely everything. All of his emails, all of his text, everything, all of his notes threw him out. But Claire, she had saved everything. She had printouts of all the screenshots. everything. So she was delivering a package. She went and delivered the package. She just left it at the door. I never once heard from his wife. I put my email. I put my phone number. I said, if you ever

want to talk to me about anything, I'll tell you everything. But she never reached out to me. They were still married for a couple more years after that. They didn't get divorced until after it happened at his next job. Another inappropriate thing happened at his next job. I think that was the last straw. And then from that moment, we went and we sat with the school and we talked to the school district, the HR, I think they're lawyers. And we were very honest. We laid everything on the table. We both wrote these really lengthy statements, these long timelines.

Riley and I sat with some of the school district higher-ups saying, like, this man should never teach again. He should not be around kids. He should not have the opportunity to do this to anyone else. else and I am happy if I am the one that it ended with, even though it has been a terrible, terrible experience. If I can stop this from happening to anyone else, that's all I want to do. It was embarrassing and humiliating to lay everything out on the table. I printed out text messages. I had like cards that he had sent me to my dorm. That was humiliating. And that was part of me trying to come to terms with the fact that this isn't something that I should be embarrassed of.

this is something that only he should be embarrassed of. I did not do this to myself. He did this to me and he knew exactly what he was doing because I will bet everything I own that Riley wasn't the first. I hope to think I'm the last because we ultimately got his teaching license taken away after a few years. But I'm sure there were other girls that had similar experiences. Maybe they weren't similar to Riley's, but I'm sure there were other girls that

felt a certain way by him or because of him. And I'm really proud of what we did because it was not easy. And obviously, you know, 10 years later, I'm still working on this. 10 years later, I have so many other things in my life. And this still comes up when I talk to my therapist, you know, and it probably will forever. My now husband, on my very, very first date with him, I told him about this because I thought, this is a huge part of my life. I can't be with someone that doesn't know this, let alone kind of understands that this will probably

affect me in some different ways as I get older. And on our very first date, I told him about this. I think it was probably a lot to tell someone on first date. It worked out because we're married, but I do know that 10 years ago when I started talking about this, I knew that this is going to affect me in a lot of different ways throughout my life and ways I don't even know yet and unfamiliar with. I think it was like such an important time in my life when Riley and I decided to not only just stop him, but I think a lot of it was like trying to show the school, look what happened under your watch. You know, there's a lot of nitty gritty stuff, but I eventually went and talked to some detectives and the state's attorney in my hometown with my parents and they really dove deep into it. Not that I wanted to have anything legal come of it because I was 18, but they did some digging on their own and they did. did find that there was written documentation of him having meetings about this at the school and having some light disciplinary action. There was written notes of meetings that he had being reprimanded for this with other students. Obviously, it didn't work. It wasn't enough discipline because

look where we are, but I hope that we potentially stopped it from happening to someone else because I think I'm pretty strong, but there were moments that I didn't think that I would be able to push through this and I didn't think that I wanted to keep trying to make myself push through this. It was too much for an 18-year-old to try and navigate. It was sometimes suffocating. I don't want to say like I'm so glad this happened, but in a way I am glad this happened. I wanted to be a high school teacher when I went into college. And because of this, I chose not to be, whether or not that was a good reason. I wanted to steer away from that and thank God I did because I have loved what I have done since I graduated college. I met my husband because of what I went into. I think I'm exactly

where I'm supposed to be in my life. And I think that it's taught me that I can be so strong when I think sometimes I don't have it in me. And I remember my mom telling me when I was going through this when I was 18, she said, this is terrible and it feels like that end of your world. But this is going to help you down the line because there are going to be days when five, 10 years when you feel worse than this. If I got through that, I can get through anything. Even in the last year, I went through a really big life change. And it was probably the hardest time I've gone through since then. And I remember thinking, if I got through that, I can get through this.

Obviously, it's different. But I've surprised myself before. I can do it again. this is an issue now that I realize is happening more and more. Whether it's always been happening and now people are just talking about it more, I remember probably like four or five years ago. The biggest newspaper in the big city I live in published this bombshell article. It was very long and it was about the public school system in this big city

and how there is a huge issue with administrators, teachers, sexually abusing students. And whether it's consensual or not, I just remember sitting at my desk at work. I was reading it and I was crying and I thought, this is outrageous in one city, in one school system. I don't know if people don't talk about this or I understand why kids don't talk about it because it's scary and it's humiliating and it's a thousand different things. But I remember reading that article and being like, this has to be talked about more. This has to be done. This has to change because schools are somewhere that you send your children, your cousins, your siblings to be safe, to learn, but also to be safe.

Right now, one of the biggest issues in our country is safety in schools, obviously for a different reason, and that's something that is constantly being debated and talked about, but there's a lot of ways that students cannot be safe in schools. I'm not trying to compare apples to oranges, but I felt like my safety was compromised at school in a way that will affect me for the rest of my life. When Riley reached out to me and told me that this was an opportunity, obviously it's a little scary. It's anxiety provoking. Of course, I worry like what people will think when they hear this because I think if I was listening to this, I could have thought, oh my God, why did she do this? Why did she do that? Why didn't she see this that way? I also think it's really important to talk about because I think this is an issue that happens a lot, even if some people don't realize it's happening. Like I didn't really even realize it was happening. I didn't really even realize it was happening. I think maybe if I had heard someone talk about this, I could have picked up on different red flags. Maybe I wouldn't have. I don't know. But I think that maybe this could help someone realize something might be wrong. Or I just think that this is an issue that is kind of hard to talk about for a lot of reasons. If I could be one of those people that's showing that even though it's really hard to talk about, I've learned to do it. and you can too or at least listen to somebody if they want to talk about it because it takes a lot

to talk about. I feel like it's my duty to take what I learned and put it out there in the world and maybe it will help someone. Maybe it won't, but at least I can try. Even though I want to think, this doesn't define me. It doesn't really define the majority of me, but it has shaped who I am as a person. And I don't want to give him that credit because he doesn't deserve any. let alone any credit towards who I am as a person because I'm really proud of who I am. But like, I am grateful that this did happen to me because it's given me the opportunity to become the person that I am very proud of. I've also learned that people's abuse or violations, everything looks different.

This has changed the way that I view the world in my superiors. I've had bosses, professors, and clinical instructors who were men. and I'd be so guarded and uneasy around them, knowing full well that they were not like him. I was scared of being alone with other men and that I would misunderstand intentions. It has affected my performance and work and school when any kind of adult male was involved. That is something I continue to struggle with. I also continue to struggle with receiving any kind of compliment because I have a hard time identifying the intent and hearing so, many compliments from him all the time, knowing that while he probably meant them, he didn't

really mean them in the right way. So now when I get complimented, I get really uncomfortable. I'm sharing my story to encourage increased advocacy for the safety of students in our schools from predators because this is constantly happening everywhere. Schools are failing to protect their student bodies in hopes to keep their positive reputations. Educators who betray the trust placed in them by victimizing children should never be employed in schools again. safety, security, and well-being of its students should always be a school's number one priority. If a 16-year-old girl comes to you taking blame for a teacher talking to her too much, it is imperative you see that as a red flag and intervene immediately, not sleep but under the rug.

I want to reiterate that not all relationships between teachers and students are bad. Some have a genuine care for your future and overall well-being. The difference is someone who cares about you and someone else who makes you think that they are the only one who care about you. And over time, you start to believe that, just like I had. If you're a teacher listening, please always think about the types of relationships you have with your students. Question yourself on if you're crossing boundaries or not. If you think that what you're doing is probably not right, then follow that instinct and don't take that chance. If you're a parent, always, always, always have hard conversations with the kids.

Make them understand the boundaries between teachers and students because sometimes, like in my case, the teacher does not care about their moral obligation to be a positive influence. and I wish more than anything that I had known. If you're a student and this has happened to you and you're too scared to tell anyone, I promise keeping it all inside will only cause more damage. If you don't trust your administration, go above them to your school board.

That is what we had to do and was the only way to make things right. This happened to me in 2008. His license was not revoked until 2014. Always advocate for yourself and never, ever give up. You will be rewarded with justice, sir. Thank you so much. What was the response from the people in your community like when they found out? For me, it wasn't nearly as bad because I wasn't connected to it anymore.

Since I was a sophomore, there was only one grade lower. So by the time I was out and in college, it was a brand new set of high school students. At that point, there wasn't much known about me for that current school body. So when that happened and he was asked to resign, it was mostly about what happened with him and Claire. And then I assumed that those who found out who had older siblings or just heard through the grapevine, I think then they might have been like, oh, wow, that must have been what happened when Riley was there too. I remember hearing rumors about that, but nothing ever happened with him losing his job with me because my principal didn't care. What was the response from the school and the principal like throughout this experience? And what do you wish they had done differently? When I wrote that letter taking all the blame, I gave it to her and nothing was ever said back to me.

And every time I saw her in the hallways, she would ignore me. Anytime I saw her daughter in the hallway, she would ignore me, even though she was my soccer coach. She was great to me as a coach, but when there were things in school, like, she was very avoidant. She has since left the job after what happened with Claire. It was avoidant. Everybody avoided me. Nobody of authority said anything to me. None of the teachers.

There's a program called PE leaders, and you apply to be in this program, and I got it. So I had to be around all the PE teachers more than other students needed to be, and I tried to make it as comfortable as possible, but I knew that people were keeping their distance. I continued to be in therapy. I would still go to school. The therapy that I was going to, he was more trying to target the OCD and the depression rather than working through it all and processing it all. When I went to college, I felt like I had this fresh start at a place where people didn't have any preconceived thoughts about me and I could leave that in the past. I did tell a few people, but it was really hard to let any guy get close to me.

I did end up dating somebody starting the end of my freshman year of college, but it took a while for me to get there. My first semester, if I met somebody, I would lie and I would make an excuse for why I couldn't do XYZ. It just took a while for me to trust anybody. And to this day, it's continuously older men that I don't. I should trust, but I don't. One story that stands out a lot is I work in the health field. And when you go through these certain rotations at the end of your master's program, you have clinical instructors. They are kind of like three-month internships, different rotations, at different settings.

when we got our schedule for our three rotations that were left, I looked and saw that all three of my clinical instructors were male. And I live in a very female-dominated job. So I was in complete shock when I saw that and I was like, this would happen to me because they were all my superior. They were all somebody I had to follow. They were all somebody I had to learn from. They were someone that was grading me. And once there was another adult male that's my superior, I go back into my shell. I was super guarded in all of these rotations, but I still had to do my job. So I did what I had to. I was very strict with my boundary. And I feel really bad because I may have come off cold at sometimes because something they said scared me or in my head, I was like, don't talk to him anymore. This conversation has gone too. long. One time I got into the elevator and my clinical instructor was also in the elevator with me. I was in my head. I was like, please, somebody else come in here. Somebody else come in here. Another female, anybody just come into here. So I'm not in this small back box with somebody

alone, even though it's only a two-minute elevator ride. I stood in the very corner. And after that, it was like, that probably looked really weird. So I then sent him a message and I apologize. I didn't really tell him anything detailed. I just said that there was something that I've gone through in the past that makes me guarded in those situations and that I was sorry if I came off unprofessional. And thankfully, he received that very, very well. I think that was a turning point where I was like, not everybody is out to do that to me. Now I do have a boss that is male and I don't feel uncomfortable around him. I think I'm making progress on it at this point. That's wonderful. I think that's so true in a lot of recovery from trauma and these sorts of events is the healing that we kind of give ourselves

and also the healing that we can get through healthy, positive relationships after abusive relationships. It helps us rebuild. Yeah. And now that I think about it, like I'm 30 years old right now. So he was 28 when he did this to me and 30 when he did this to Claire. And I'm thinking, I am the same age that he was when he was doing this. I just can't imagine ever being in the mindset where you think something like that would be okay. And to think that I'm the age now that he was. Having a son now and he had a son to think that he would willingly risk everything to do something like that. that risk seeing his son, risk being with his family, take time away from his family to

prey on young women, which is beyond me. What do you wish that people understood about obsessive-compulsive disorder? One that it was stopped being used as something to joke about. I don't really say this to anybody when they say something specific. If they say, oh, I like my house clean because I'm OCD when they don't actually have that diagnosis. I don't even bother correcting them or saying like you shouldn't do that. But in my head, I'm like, you really have no idea. That kind of control over your brain is out of body. And if I were at home and I was supposed to be somewhere like at 7 o'clock, I'd probably show up at 8 because as I was leaving the house, I saw all these things that my brain was like, nope, got to turn that. Nope, that's not facing

forward. Nope. It took over my life. Like completely took over my life to the point where my coach had to talk to my mom and say she's not okay to be playing soccer right now. Like not in the right mind to do it. There was talk about me going into an inpatient program. Once I heard those words, I was like, oh my gosh, I'll just do therapy, like do whatever for me to be able to not have to go to that because then I don't want him to win. I don't want him to be. I don't want him to be. be like, oh, she had to go to rehab because of me. Another thing that he could say, like, what a stupid young girl to let that happen to her. It was the scariest time of my entire life because every single time when I had the rituals of anything with my age, I was pressing a button,

I had to do everything my age, anything like that turning off a light on a light, if I was typing and I spelled the word wrong and I'd have to leave the entire paragraph and start over. It was a time where I didn't feel, I just wasn't me, this mental illness taking over. And that was the time where I was like, I can't live like this anymore. I was scared that if something that I fixed, like if I had to turn something around, like if my water bottle wasn't facing forward and I didn't do it the correct way, then I was just waiting for something bad to happen. Like I would get a call that something happened to my family or something would happen to me. So I was just convinced that everything I did was wrong and something bad was always going to happen because of it.

It was truly because I was so controlled by him that my body was in an SOS, like, let's try to control her because that's the only way that she'll feel like she's in any sort of control. Thank God it's not to that severity anymore, but it truly was the scariest time in my entire life. But once my parents talked about a short rehab stay, I was like, absolutely not. He cannot win. So that's when I agreed to try treatment throughout patients. And thankfully it worked. And I truly have the, my two best friends from growing up are also one of the main reasons that I got through it all. Because while they didn't know everything, they didn't need to.

They didn't ask me questions. They didn't try to pry. They were just there. They were always there. Anything I needed. One of them actually came to therapy with me. They always made me feel like I belonged there when I was going through all these mental illnesses, they still treated me the same and modified what we did so that I wasn't

triggered by something. They were really great. That's amazing. It's always so moving to me, the people that show up along the way to support. If you could say anything to your principal, what would you say to her? The first thing that came to mind was karma as a bitch because shortly after, while I was still in college, there was a massive hazing issue that got a lot of people fired. and it was all over the papers, it was on the internet, everywhere. Everyone knew of my school and what happened. I'm like, if you treated me that way, I only can imagine how, if anybody else came to her with problems. Did she have any empathy for any of us, anybody that had issues?

Or did she just care that she worked at a school that had a really, really great reputation until the hazing incident. What she deserved came after her and she eventually resigned. I just hope she thinks about it every day. I hope she feels guilty about it. And I want to know why. I want to know why she thought that protecting a male teacher from a 16-year-old, like in my eyes, if I'm looking at this from an outside perspective, I would always see the child as innocent and I have more questions. for the adult and think about the obligations that he said he would follow with being a teacher of students and so many underage females. And I would question her integrity, question her motive. And I want to know what she thought when I gave her that letter. Did she feel bad

that she needed to do something else? Or did she truly just think, like, oh, this isn't a big deal? I believe what he's saying. Like, I don't know because she never responded. The first time that it happened with me, he had that other teacher to send him, saying like, oh, this is totally fine. She's just helping out. But he didn't know and she didn't know. So I don't know. I would just say, I think she got what she deserved. She's the one person that I have a really, really, really hard time for giving. Understandably. And I'm so thankful she's no longer a principal. And I'm so thankful that Mr. Smith is no longer a teacher, although I think he definitely deserved jail time. Yeah. And I think that she, wouldn't she? Wouldn't

she want the reputation of being the principal, the one in charge that got rid of the predator, wouldn't you want to be the one that said, this student came to me and I immediately fired him? Instead of being the one that, oh, it's fine, whatever. And then it happens again. And she says, okay, you can resign. We're not going to fire you, but you can resign. Like, she tries to protect it as much as possible. And that comes back.

There's always going to be a record of all these things. people aren't going to stay silent. I just feel like if it were me, I'd rather be a hundred million times the person that protected my school. Like, I don't care about reputation. I want people to know that I'm here to protect the children of this school, not enable, knowing that this guy could be a predator, even though he's lying to me.

100%. Thank you, again, so, so much for sharing your story and being so brave and putting so much thought into it as well. As I said earlier, I'm incredibly sorry that you experienced this. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe, friends. Something Was Wrong is a broken cycle media production, created and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese.

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