Something Was Wrong - S15 Ep6: [Jenna Jean] Laughing Through the Pain

Episode Date: March 2, 2023

*Content warning: fraud, emotional abuse, sexual coercion. *Sources: Jenna Jean’s TikTok: @ jennajean8        https://www.tiktok.com/@jennajean8/video/7171129904665218350  Yahoo News: Woman’s boyfriend claimed to be an FBI agent, but she felt something was off: 'I can’t answer that', In The Know, December 19, 2022.  For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resources  S15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokay To purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrong

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You think you know me, you don't know me well. Hi, I'm Jenna Jean. I'm a TikToker, and this is where my story initially went viral. It has 13 million views. Thank you to all the people who commented. this needs to go on the something was wrong podcast. I'm so happy to share my story here with you. Thank you for having me on. Okay, here we go. I met him on Hinge.

It was my first time using Hinge, which at the time I thought was a major success story. First of all, he is just absolutely gorgeous. I was like, wow, these are the people on Hinge. Thank God I'm on here. We're talking shirtless profile photo, abbs chiseled from God. He's totally my type. He's gorgeous. And then when we match, he's also funny. He's witty. He's kind. He's very much a gentleman. So he caught my attention right away.

Another thing about him that caught my attention is he seemed really smart. He went to a very prestigious college, or so it said, on his profile. I was very attracted to everything about him. Our first date was honestly the best first date I've ever been on. We lived in Hawaii at the time, and that is just one of the most amazing places to have fallen love. It's absolutely paradise. Our first date, we went on this hike in the North Shore, and we were seriously the two only people on the hike. There was this amazing waterfall at the end of the hike. We were the only people swimming.

We were the only people there. It was so easy to fall in love in this absolute paradise with this man who was telling me all these amazing things about himself that I totally believed at the time. Probably now the most interesting thing to note about that first date was within the first five minutes of meeting each other. You know, you do the normal get-to-know-you questions. How are you? Where are you from? What do you do for work? I ask him, what do you do for work? And he is like, I'm an FBI agent.

And my reaction, I was like, shut up. No, you're not. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. I don't know anyone who works in the FBI. I don't know much about that profession. I'm thinking Agent Cody Banks. I'm thinking spy kids. I'm thinking top secret missions.

This is the coolest thing I've ever heard. I think now that's kind of what fueled him. My initial reaction of being so impressed and so intrigued by this secretive job that he had. We spent a lot of time with me asking a bunch of questions and being so fascinated about this. What is interesting is every time I would introduce him to my friends or we'd meet other people and they would ask him what he does for work, he would be really vague. Like, I work for the federal bureau or I work for the government. He would almost be rude and be like, oh, don't ask me that.

Like, I can't talk to you about that. I would be like, why did you tell me within the first five minutes of our first date that you were in the FBI? and you won't tell anybody else. Like, it's just this huge secret. He's like, well, I knew I could trust you. That's part of my job is to be able to read people and know who you can trust. And I knew I could trust you. Our second date, I asked him about his family.

And he told me, like, the deepest, darkest secrets of his family. Things that some of his family members don't even know. And they blew my mind. I was like, wow. And he's like, you are literally the only person I've ever shared this with. Thank you for being someone I can trust and who's giving me. this space to open up about this stuff. And so so many things that I thought, oh, this person trust me. And I am a trustworthy person. So I didn't question it. I do create that safe space for

people. He is also so believable. I think right off the bat when you meet somebody, if you're a trusting person, you're not immediately questioning, is this true? Until someone breaks your trust, that's when you start questioning, like, are they telling the truth? Can I trust them? Are they lying to me? It's my first time speaking with this person and I have full open trust with him. He took advantage of that for sure. He did tell me about a past girlfriend that he would talk about. He was only ever in love once and he thought he would never feel that way again until he met me. And he knew the first day, our first date he knew he loved me.

And he said, it's because I felt that before and I thought I would never get it again. I knew it right away with you. I remember that moment so well, which he talked about as the moment he fell in love with me. It was on that first date. And we were at that waterfall and I got mud all over myself. And so I'm sitting in the waterfall and washing this mud off me. He's looking at me from this rock. And I remember looking at him and being like, that is somebody who is in love with me, thinking I have never been looked at that way. I knew it was so wild. This is our first date,

but I swear that's what love looks like. What is in his eyes as he is watching me? We ended up kissing on the first date, which is like a huge rule for me. I don't do that normally. But I was like, I swear I'll never get looked at again like that. That is pure love. And that's where all the love bombing comes in.

I believed it because I had seen it in his eyes. We talked a little bit about his ex. He hadn't dated really since her. He works so much. He travels so much with work and he goes on all these special missions around the whole world. And so it's kind of hard to date, all this stuff. So those are great excuses. This guy within less than a month is telling me he's head over heels in love with me. And I'm just like, yep, of course you are. I don't even question it. I don't think it's love bombing or anything. I'm just like, yeah, I've created this space for this person. This person trust me. We've shared secrets. We're in paradise. Our dates are at the beach in the ocean, swimming together on these gorgeous hikes. Of course we're falling in love. We're in paradise. I do remember thinking, this is crazy.

This is so soon. But taking it at face value and be like, thank you for being vulnerable with me and thank you for telling me your feelings. I didn't say it back at first because it was very soon. I really appreciated those feelings. And he made me feel so, so loved. He was really good at that. Now I know that's considered love bombing. Shout out to people on TikTok.

I swear I go through therapy by watching people's TikToks. And they're like, here's what love bombing means. So when I see that now, I'm like, oh my gosh, I was totally being love bombed. But I didn't realize at the time. Also, the way he told me he loved me was probably taken out of a Nicholas Sparks book. I haven't read all of them. And I'm sure now 100% he literally ripped that out of a page. but it was the most beautiful profession of love I've ever heard in my life.

Like he was a poet. It was beautiful. I was like, oh, I'm scoring. This man is in touch with his feelings. He's basically a poet. I scored Nicholas Sparks here. I was so excited. This was my dream.

He made me feel taken care of and so safe at the beginning. I felt like he has so many connections and I'm so taken care of. For example, one time he was. was at my house and he knocked over my plant and got dirt all over my carpet. I just moved there, so I didn't have a vacuum. He leaves. He goes to work and he has this lady drop off a vacuum at my house. I come out and I'm like, oh, hello, are you at the wrong house? She was like, Aden sent me. And I was like, oh, thank you so much. And I text him, thank you for the vacuum. He was like, oh, yeah, no worries. That's my runner. Every FBI agent has a runner. Whatever you need, she can do

so let me know whenever you need something. Different runners had come to my house and, like, delivered lunch to me and my roommate one day. We were having a really bad day, and I told him, and he was like, I'll have a runner bring you guys some food. So you don't have to worry about lunch today. You're so busy. Stuff like that. One time I was flying home from L.A. back to Hawaii. My dad was being rushed to the hospital because he fell and banged up his face and his body.

And that was like 30 minutes before I was supposed to take off back to Hawaii. I need to get home to Utah. I want to make sure my dad's okay. This is so scary. And so I call him crying. And I'm like, I need to go home to Utah. I think I need to cancel my flight. I don't think I'm going to come home anymore to Hawaii.

And he was like, I can have someone at the airport right now who will drive you home to Utah. Say the word and I will get them there. I was so comforted knowing someone could take care of all of my problems. Of course, that's not realistic. and I don't want to sit in a car for 12 hours with some random stranger and drive from L.A. to Utah. And I didn't want to miss my flight home. I wouldn't get refunded. I think he knew. I wouldn't take him up on that offer. But the offer was there and I felt so good about that. I was like, no, okay, I'm going to come home to Hawaii and I'll call my dad and we'll figure this out.

He made me feel totally taken care of. Also, he paid for the majority of our stuff together. He planned dates. he lived in this really, really nice apartment. He had a sauna, a hot tub, a pool on the roof. It was such a lovely place to hang out in. When we did go out to dinner, it was always very expensive places, never less than $100 for our bill everywhere we went. And he totally took care of me, made me feel like he had a lot of money. I'm not saying I'm a gold digger or anything, but of course, that makes you feel taken care of it. That made me feel secure. He was really, good at making me feel safe. He would back into his parking spots.

I remember on our first date, when we drove, we went to dinner after our hike, and he backed into his parking spot and I was like, wow, nice maneuvering without a backup camera, impressive. And he was like, everywhere I go, I'll always park like this so we can have a fast getaway. In one way that made me feel safe, like, okay, he thinks about that stuff and that's safe. but also why? Why would we need to have a fast getaway from this restaurant? It's just stuff like that where he instills a little bit of fear in me, but then makes me feel safe.

He also would leave his keys in the ignition. They would be left in the car. He's like, yeah, that's on purpose. I told you, I need a fast getaway. And now thinking back on that, I'm like, bro, if you're looking for a fast getaway, you'll need your car. So you're not going to want to leave your keys in the ignition and have someone steal your car.

He always at restaurants would sit with his back not to the door. So if I ever sat down first, he'd be like, oh, can you switch me so I can watch the door? I didn't even question. I was like, oh, this is just part of his job and part of his personality. He's very protective. But now looking back, instilling slight fear and comfort in me. Our first couple months of dating, he had this very low voice that was really sexy, really deep, especially exaggerated when we were on the phone.

I'm like going to try and do it. It's like, hey. Okay, I can't do it. Kind of like if you're on TikTok and you're looking for book talk and it's like this really low guy reading this really manly low character voice, so hot. He had that voice. And then there'd be times where that voice would slip up. And I'd be like, huh, you're not talking as low as you normally talk, especially on the phone. I was like, you're kind of talking weird because he really exaggerate.

write it on the phone. So if anything, he put on a voice to be more sexy. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words, I can't tell you that. I'd be rich as fuck. I would literally be like, hey, babe, how was your day today? And he'd be like, you know, I can't tell you about work. I'd be like, okay, you can just say good or bad. It was that intense where I really felt like I can't ask him about anything he does. The very slight amount of insight I got into his work, He would send me selfies of him in a suit and be like, on my way to work. And I was like, oh, cute, you look cool. One time he sent me a snapshot of him keycarding into a building.

I remember being like, oh, your picture on your key card is so cute. That's another thing in my brain. He's going into the secretive building he needs a key card for. The only time he's ever talked about what he specifically does at work was one time we were hanging out on the roof of his building, and he points over to this building next to his. And he was like, I just did a crazy interrogation for people that live in that building. I was like, wow, that's crazy. He's never talked to me about his work before.

And I was like, that's insane. And he was like, yeah, sorry, that's why I've been so off today. It was a really heavy, really bad thing that happened in that building. I was an interrogation all day. I didn't really realize FBI agents have a badge. Or like, that's a big deal. Like I said, I'm a trusting person. I'm not like, show me all your documentation. I don't believe you. I never asked to see a badge. I never did see a badge. The only thing I saw was one time we were at his house and we were watching a movie on his computer and on the desktop screen was like FBI

resume, FBI cover letter. So it was his application for the FBI. I don't know how long that had been on there, but I was like, oh, interesting. And I remember noting it because I was like, oh, wow. That's the only thing I've ever seen with some FBI documentation on it. But he did have military stuff at his house. I needed a suitcase one time and he lented me his military backpack. He had his military uniform at his house. One time I asked for a phone charger and he's like, do you want the one with a camera or the one without a camera? And I was like, I'm sorry, come again.

And he shows me these gadgets he has at his house with teeny tiny little cameras in them. It looks like a phone charger. And he was like, you should be really careful. When you go into Airbnb's, you should check if something looks like this, acting as if he's looking out for me. I sent a video to my roommate showing her these and being like, look around the house. Do we have anything at the house with a little camera in it? I mean, I trusted him, but this job was so crazy and I knew nothing about it that I would sometimes have those moments where I'd be like, are you watching me? I asked that.

I was like, did you play any of these at my house? And he's like, oh my gosh, like, offended. And I'm like, that's crazy. And he was like, no, everyone in the FBI has these. It's really not a big deal. They were in his room. I asked for a phone charger, and it's just like, first drawer. Here's my camera phone charger.

One time, some of my best friends were in town from California. I was so excited to take him to meet them. And one of them, my friend Jake, he's a really great surfer. Aiden had been telling me for months now, that he surfed every week. And he would always go while I was working during the day, so we had never gone together, but he would tell me about how awesome his surf sesh was.

I didn't warn Aiden or anything, but I was like, hey, this is my friend Jake. He's an amazing surfer. And I was like, Aidan surfs all the time, Jake. Like, you guys will totally get along. I'm trying to find some common ground between them, so that's how I introduced them. And then I go talk to the rest of my friends.

A little while later, Jake comes to me and he feels uncomfortable, and he's like, I think you're, boyfriend lied to me. This was the first time I had ever heard this. It was a very beginner surfer. I was so stoked on surfing. I get that foam long board, and I'm like, yeah, let's go surfing. I know nothing about surfing.

That was my new hobby. I was kind of obsessed with. I'd go every Tuesday night with this girl group, and it'd be like our girls' night. So he knew I was super into this new hobby, but I didn't know much about it. And so he said he went surfing every week while I was working. Jake told me, he was like, so where do you? surf at, bro? And he was like, oh, North Shore. North Shore is the bigger waves. It's where, like, more experienced surfers go. So that's where Jake went. So Jake's like, oh, rad, man, where'd you go?

And he was like, oh, you know, like a pipeline. And pipeline, in the words of Jake, is the most intense, powerful, deadly wave in the world. So then Jake goes on to be like, wow, dude, that's impressive. What kind of board do you take? And he was like, like a longer one. And Jake's like, like a long board? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a long board. Jake's in his head, he's like, you can't take a long board on those waves. You need a shorter board. He's like, is your board a thruster? Which apparently is very common knowledge in the surf community, which means it has three fins. And Aiden goes, oh, yeah, yeah, it's pretty fast. And Jake's like, no, no, no. It's, it's. Is it a thruster?

And he's like, oh, yeah, it's fast. And he's like, no, does it have three fins? And Aidan's like, well, it has one fin. It's just an absolute disaster. And Jake feels so uncomfortable telling me this. He's like, so I think he's lying. And I just remember laughing it off and being like, that's hilarious. I bet he was trying to impress you because A, you're one of my really good friends.

And B, you're a really great surfer that he just found out in that moment. and he was not prepared. I just laughed because I was like, oh, he's so cute. He probably isn't that great of a surfer, and he's just trying to impress me and my friends. Little do I know this is the first start of the lie. So sorry, Jake, I didn't listen to you. I should have listened to you.

He didn't have any friends. He said they were on special missions or his military friends were on deployment, and they were out of the country, so we couldn't even talk to them. I eventually started making a lot of amazing friends in Hawaii. He was definitely like my first friend and closest person out there, but we started making great friends and he would just become friends with my friends.

So then I never really noticed that he didn't have friends. And he would talk about friends who were on the mainland, where he's from. That made sense to me too. You know, we live on this island. We're far away from family and friends. It's a very commuter place. People come and go every year. Not a lot of people stay in Hawaii for long. He would talk about friends. that had moved on or moved back home. And I never questioned it because we kind of just made friends together. He did this thing where he was so fun and so silly and so cute with me. And then I'd bring him out to meet my friends and he would put this hard ass face on.

He'd be super military. He'd be very strict. He'd be very secretive. Kind of rude to people. It always made me sad because I was like, you are such an amazing person when you're with me. And then when I bring you around all these other people, you're very hard and stone colt. And he was like, that's kind of how you have to be in this field of work.

I need to judge people when I meet them. I need to see if they're worthy of your time, if they're safe. So he would put on this total hard-ass persona. And it was so weird because it wouldn't be like that around me. My roommate did come in clutch one time. We were all watching a movie together. And I started feeling sick. So I went into my room and I was just relaxing and he's hanging out with my roommate.

Then he comes in all of a sudden, so angry. with me and is like, I just got news from the FBI that you are texting your ex. I'm just like, excuse me? What are you talking about? He's like, I just got a call from the FBI in Utah, which is where I'm from and where my ex-boyfriend lived. I had an ex-boyfriend before I moved to Hawaii. And he said, I just got a call from the FBI in Utah.

I put out some feelers over there to check up on your past. He would say that to me a lot. like I have to do that. If you're someone that's in my circle, I have to know my information with you is safe. I have to run background checks. He was like, so I put feelers out to the FBI in Utah where you're from. I know you had recently gotten out of a relationship before you came to Hawaii.

And so I just mentioned that to keep an eye on that, they have information that you guys are still texting. This came at me so fast. I was so confused because I had been in contact with my ex. We had previously just ended a relationship. I met Aiden pretty early on in my Hawaii chapter. And so I had recently gotten out of a relationship. And there's just things that you have to settle to have closure at the end of a relationship. So my ex and I were in communication. It is nothing I would have hidden from Aden at all.

He could have easily looked at my phone if he wanted to. I could have told him about it. I had talked to him a little bit about my ex, which is why he obviously put feelers out. So I'm like, okay, do you want to see the text? Yeah, we've been talking, but it's more closure, figuring out the stuff we had plans for. It's not a big deal. You can look at it if you want. He is not having it. He is so angry and cannot believe I did this. Also, we haven't been dating for a long time. Him and I are not even official at this point, not saying that's okay, but I was just shocked by this behavior. I was like, this is crazy. And then I'm so scared because how in the world do these people? Do these people in Utah, in the FBI, know what I'm texting. I'm like, did they tap into my phone? Did they go and

watch my ex's house? I'm freaking out. I'm like, I need you to explain how you know this information. That's really weird. He's just so vague. And he's like, I have connections everywhere. I know everything. Later, come to find out, my roommate, I tell her this. I'm like, girl, the FBI has tapped into my phone. This is crazy. She was like, oh, when. When the movie ended, he was on your laptop closing the movie out. And I think he opened up your text. He was on your laptop for a while. So he clearly just went through my texts and read them.

I would understand if you told me, hey, I went through your text and I'm uncomfortable. You're still talking to your ex. Can we talk about it? That would be fine. But what's not fine is lying and making me feel like I am being watched. I'm being tapped into and that my ex is. is being involved. It was one of the most insane things he had said to me. I see him the next day and I was like, hey, I want you to feel comfortable with me and I want you to be honest with me. I know you went

through my texts. I understand that's a really hard thing to tell somebody that you went through their phone because that's kind of a breach of trust, but I'm okay with it. I just want you to know I would rather you tell me the truth. I know you went through my phone. We can talk about this. And he just deny till he die. He's like, no, 100%. I got this information from the FBI. They called me right after the movie ended because they were keeping up with me because I had put feelers out. This was from the FBI. And he would not admit. And I was like, just tell me you went through my phone. This has gotten out of hand. This is a crazy lie. And he would not. That's kind of the first time I thought he's a liar. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

because this is the first time I've caught him in a lie. And it's one of those situations that are pretty uncomfortable. If I went through someone's phone, I'd be really embarrassed about that. But if you were that desperate to find out information, you would do it. That's happened in relationships before. I understand where he's coming from. This is a new relationship. He's uncomfortable because I just recently got out of one. He's probably just a little bit insecure. He's concerned about if I love him back because I hadn't said it at that point. I justified all that like that. So I never thought, what else is he lying about? I thought, oh, this is a weird situation that we're in. He's trying to handle it the best he can, and he's too proud to, like, admit that he went through my phone.

It definitely was a red flag, but it was the first red flag I had seen, and I justified it. He broke up with me after the FBI told me you're texting your X thing, and then he'd come back and love bomb, like crazy. I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I keep pushing you away. It's because I've never loved someone this much in my whole life and I don't know how to deal with it and I'm scared of how you feel back and I don't want to get hurt. All these things just so manipulative in so many different ways. He'd break up with me and then I'd be really sad and devastated because he really was the closest person I had on that island. And you have to think about it. We are on an island. We're isolated. There's island fever. I don't have family out there. I only had one brother with me out there.

So I really was alone a lot of the time. He was the closest person by far that wasn't my brother that I had out there. And so he knew that. He would break up with me and I'd be really sad about it. We'd get back together a couple days later and it would bring us closer because we'd have these really intimate talks and we'd talk about our feelings. Being broken up with so many times can really like beat down on yourself confidence. But I really liked him and he made.

made this trauma bond where I was so attached to him. I loved my life there with him so much. He was such a big part of my life there. He knew that. And so he would dangle it in front of my face. Like, I can end this relationship anytime I want. It would always be for work reason. We're going to have to do long distance since that that's hard. I don't want to do that to you. So he was transitioning from the military into his new FBI job, which was all fascinating to me. Six months into our relationship, he tells me that he needs to go to training for the FBI Academy. I was like, I thought you already were an FBI agent. He was like, well, with COVID, they actually made exceptions where you can work on the job as an agent and get your training

done on the job because they needed agents. And with COVID, the Academy wasn't a or something, some weird spun lie where I was just like, oh, cool, you're working on the job. So that whole time while he was working on the job, essentially, for the FBI in Hawaii, he was transitioning out of his role in the military as well. I just thought he did both jobs. He would tell me sometimes that he was doing some sort of military stuff and he would tell me about his past in the military. One time close to when he was leaving for his FBI training, he told me he was.

graduating from the military. There was this big ceremony and they got to wear their like really nice military uniform that's all official. He was excited about it. I was like, I really want to come to that. I would love to go there and support you. His family doesn't live in Hawaii. I would love to be there. Please can I come to that? He was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. You don't want to come to that. It's super boring. And I was like, no, I really want to come to that. And I really pushed. This is a huge deal for you. And he doesn't really treat himself to things. I really want to make this a big deal. Like, you served the country.

This is huge. We should make this a big celebration. He was like, you really don't want to come. It's so boring. It's just speakers. It's really lame. How about I'd come over to your house afterwards? And you can get photos of me for my mom in my uniform.

You can see me in my uniform one last time. So he comes to my house, day of his supposed graduation, in his full on uniform. He looks so official. I just think this is the coolest thing. I'm so happy to support him. I take him out and celebrate him. And who knows if he just showed up at my house in a military uniform? Who knows if there was really a ceremony?

So he says he needs to go do training in D.C. Apparently, the FBI Academy is in Virginia, but he always said D.C. And I know that for a fact because I have texts about it. And also my friend, one of my best friends, lives in D.C. So I was so excited. He was going there because I was like, I can visit you all the time. My best friend lives there. I can stay with her. I can stay with you. And he would always just say, I need to go to D.C. to do this training. That started coming up near maybe like month five of our relationship where he had to go do that. I love traveling. I was down to go with him. He said he had

six months training in the academy. And then he could put in his five preferences of where he wanted to be an agent next. Him and I could go together. So we started pulling. planning our lives together based off this training for his FBI job. He would say things like all the benefits that come from being a FBI agent or for being in the military. People will just marry people with these benefits because they're so good. He's like, I could send my wife through college. I could send all of our kids through college. I could retire at 40. This is such a good career. Making me so excited about a future we could have together. I'm huge on traveling. And so he was like, oh, we can travel so much. You can use wherever I am

stationed as your home base and you can travel. Again, he has all this money. Apparently, he's going to get paid so well. He can retire early. We could raise kids together and he could be a stay-at-home dad. He drew this beautiful life that we could have together in my mind. We talked about it all the time. I'm not tied down to anything. My job's fully remote. I can go anywhere. The plan. The plan was he was going to move to D.C. and do half of the training for three months, and then I would move there for his last three months. And I was so excited to go see my friend, and I was excited to check out D.C. And then wherever he went next, I would just go with him. He was ready to leave Hawaii, and he was going to stop at his home before going to D.C. And he wanted me to go with him to meet

some of his family and friends. We had those flights booked, and he was checking out of his apartment, his lease was ending, and he had two weeks before he was leaving where he was going to come live with me. Right before he's supposed to move in with me in Hawaii for those two weeks, he finds some weird, odd excuse to break up with me. And I'm like, you're supposed to be moving in with me literally like tomorrow. I have no clue where he went in those last two weeks, but it wasn't with me and he didn't have his lease on his apartment. That was interesting because you can tell a lot about someone by living with them and being around them 24-7 and see what they really do with their lives, especially me who works from home.

I could have been around him all the time and seeing where he went and stuff. But no, he broke up with me. So we never got that time in Hawaii. The day before he leaves to go to Colorado, which he says is his home, he reaches out to me again and is like, I want you to come to Colorado. This is a mistake. I'm so sorry. And I already had this ticket to Colorado, non-refundable.

I was like, well, I still have my fly. light. So I will go with you. He's told me our whole relationship that he grew up in a ranch in Colorado. I would call him cowboy. He had all these photos of him on horses or at this ranch and he would send them to me. I loved that about him because I resonate with the cowgirl aesthetic. I love that stuff. My dad grew up on a farm in Idaho and we go there every year. It's my vibe. So I'm like, I love this about you. Little small town, cute, sexy cowboy. It worked for my visions. He says that they moved from Colorado to New Jersey, but a lot of his family is still in Colorado, and that's where he considers home. So I wasn't going to meet his direct family, like his parents and his sisters. I was going to meet

his cousins and some family friends in Colorado. We get there exploring the town, and I'm like, so where'd you go to school? And he's like, oh, in New Jersey. I'm like, what? And he's like, yeah, in New Jersey. I was like, oh, I thought your family just lived there now, but you grew up in Colorado because that's what you have always told me. And he's like, no, I didn't. I told you that we lived in New Jersey growing up.

I was like, so you never lived in Colorado? No, I've never lived here. This is just where my cousins live. And I'm like, no. And then there's this gaslighting of like, oh, you're remembering it wrong. I'm like, why the hell would I call you my cowboy if you grew up in New Jersey? It fits the mold a lot more with the story of you grew up in a ranch in Colorado. I think at this point he had been losing track of the lies he had told me.

And I think he knew that resonated with me more than New Jersey because Colorado's closer to Utah where I'm from. He knew I would wear cowgirl boots around him. He would wear cowboy boots around me in Hawaii where you're supposed to be barefoot everywhere. And I loved it because I love that aesthetic. I love that life. I want my own ranch one day. That's so cool to me. And he knew that. That was the first time I was positive. I was like, no, you're lying. There had been this cousin that he had talked about all the time that he admired so much. Probably like his role model in life, his older cousin. I was so excited to meet this

person. He was obsessed with this cousin. I met this person and I was like, I would never, ever be friends with this person. I don't want this person near me. If I ever had kids, I wouldn't want them around him. He went against everything I want to be around in a person. I was shocked. Up to this point, Aidan and I had had conversations about our political beliefs. We were on the same page about a lot of things, or I thought.

And then I meet this cousin who is complete opposite of me, but somehow also exactly like Aden. So I'm like, okay, are you like me or are you like this cousin? Because this is a side of you I have never seen before. And if this is your biggest role model in life, he is completely opposite of what your political beliefs are and very strongly opinionated about that. It's my first time meeting his family and it's not like,

so what do you do for work and how are you and how do you feel about this? It's like, so what are your political beliefs? are you flying a Trump flag at your house? And let me grill you on everything you believe in and tell you I think it's stupid. So I'm like getting in arguments with his cousin. I don't fight about that stuff. I'm just like, thanks for telling me your opinion. I also am trying to make a good impression here.

So I'm not going to be like, yeah, I don't believe anything you're saying. But it was shocking. I didn't really love the way he respected his wife. He called his wife, Hun. Aiden had always called me, hon, and I always thought it was so sweet. And then when I realized he got that from his cousin, who is not the best person, I was like, don't ever call me that again. So it was eye-opening, very misogynistic.

I remember my argument for why I believe in women's rights and I believe in LGBTQ plus rights. And he was like, yeah, that's bullshit. I was like, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. You're an awesome dude. I'd laugh it off and be like, first time meeting me and we're going to get into politics. I'm just playing things off and being like, holy shit, I'm trying to impress this family. And this guy's literally coming after me for like an attack.

And I was like, we don't have to talk about it. I'm being the adult in the situation. He's like 20 years older than me. What did Aden say about it? Did you discuss it after where you're like, what the fuck, bro? Totally, what the fuck, bro. I'm like, I thought we had the same beliefs. I don't care.

Just tell me. Don't pretend like you're something that you're not. And I can easily accept you. I have family members that are all across the spectrum. Just tell me. And he'd be like, no, don't be ridiculous. I'd be like, well, your cousin is, and he's your biggest role model. And he is so far right-winged.

You can't get further. How? Is this your biggest role model if you have such different beliefs as you have told me in the past? And he would almost gaslight me, like, you don't know anything about politics or like, you don't know anything about it. I'm like, okay, well, I thought we were on the same page and we're clearly not. He would also just be like, you don't understand my cousin. He's an ogre. He has layers. I said if we had kids, I wouldn't really want to bring them around your cousin.

And he was like, he is literally the best with kids. You need to see him with kids. And then he'd tell me these stories about what he does with kids. Fun uncle things he'd do with them. I'd be like, we're on different pages here. You just like, you need to get to know him better. The more and more days I spent there. Like, he literally got angry at me one time, snapped at me.

I'm like, yeah, the more I get to know him, the more I want to leave. So that was a really terrible visit. I did not have a good time at all. I remember his cousin would recruit him for jobs every morning. He'd have to go feed the chickens. He'd have to do something like that, like take care of the horses. And he'd be like, make yourself at home. I'll be home in a couple hours.

And I would just stay in my room because I was scared of everybody there. And I mean, there was definitely some people there that were really nice and kind. but I did not feel welcomed or safe, honestly, or comfortable. So I stayed in my room while he was doing his chores. I'm a very extroverted person. I love to make a good impression. I definitely put the effort in to make a good impression with people's families or people's friends that I date.

It wasn't me. I was in a really weird situation. We didn't talk about his job. We did talk about how he was moving to D.C. and how that would affect our relationship. And it was kind of insinuated. You know, I thought everyone knows he's going to D.C. to do this training. But it never got brought up.

Maybe if I would have had questions, I would have been like, so what do you think about Aiden being in the FBI? But I didn't, I wasn't questioning it at that point. So I never thought to bring it up. And also, we were kind of in this phase where he was taking a break from work because he was no longer acting as FBI agent in Hawaii. and he had this period before he went to training in D.C. So he wasn't technically working there.

So we just didn't talk about work at all. Another thing to know is we had just broken up a few days before this. So our relationship was super rocky and it put me in such a weird place. I didn't know if I could talk about my future with him. So I didn't really even bring up D.C. much with people because I was like, I don't know where our future stands. He would make me always feel that manipulation of being unsure. I was going back to Hawaii, and he was going to his home in New Jersey to see his family for a bit, and then to D.C.

He didn't invite me to New Jersey. I just went back to Hawaii. He was supposed to come back to Hawaii for my birthday, which was coming up, and then he was starting his training in D.C. The last time I saw him was actually at the airport in Colorado. I'm leaving. I turn around to wave by and he has tears streaming down his face. And I'm like, oh my gosh, what's wrong? And it was the saddest thing I've ever seen it.

And he was like, I'm just so sad to see you go. I don't want you to leave. I don't want to be separated. It was so sad and we both were crying. I felt so loved. This trip was a little bit rocky and we had broken up before. So I think he was realizing he was losing me and he was just so distraught. Like it was put that in a Nicholas Sparks movie.

again, like the tearful goodbye at the airport, which had my heart wrenched. I was like, well, you're coming back to Hawaii. I'm going to see you and I'm moving to D.C. We were back on that plan. Then it just all went to shit. I tried my best to do long distance with him. I have friends that have very successful long distance relationships. And so I did my work and my research. I called all of them. I asked them for their best tips. I really wanted this to work out. I would call him and I'd be like, hey, I talked with my best friend. Her and her boyfriend did long distance for years.

Here's like the best tips we can do. Somehow it would turn into him arguing with me about something. Like, well, that's them. They're different than us. That doesn't work. I'm like, whoa, I'm just trying to bring up something nice here. Every call would turn into a fight. And all of a sudden, I'm seeing this very angry side of him.

And I was so confused. He was really bad at keeping in contact with me. And I would be like, hey, I asked another one of my friends for their advice. We need to communicate more. I would just not hear from him. Who knows what he was doing. I'd beg, can you just let me know when you get home? And I would never hear from him, which was so weird and so odd because he treated me so

well in Hawaii. And then all of a sudden long distance and our relationship is turning to shit. And it was so bad. When it came time for him to come back to Hawaii, we were in this. phase where every call was turning to a fight. And not to like toot my own horn or anything, but it was not my fault. I was being gaslighted. I would come up with the nicest things like I would edit all these beautiful photos and videos of us together. I'd send them to him and I'd be like, this is how I want us to be. I want us to be this happy again. And he'd turn that into like, how dare you look at these photos of us

smiling and pretend like that's what life is all the time. It would just never turn out nice. He was just turning so mean. And this was the first time I was being treated poorly. I mean, I guess you could say I was being treated poorly because he was breaking up with me multiple times during our relationship. But I was just totally in this manipulative hold. And it was finally a time I was realizing, this is not okay. You're being mean. That last time Aethan and I saw each other at the airport in Colorado when I was going back to Hawaii and how he was bawling. I've always just thought of that as such a precious moment and so sad and so sweet. But thinking back on it now, we literally had plans to see each other a month later.

He was supposed to come to Hawaii to visit me for my birthday. So like, why are you so sad? And then think right after that, our long distance relationship began. And all of the sudden, out of the blue, he was so mean. He was so hard to deal with. He was such a bad boyfriend, which ultimately led me to break up with him. It's now dawning on me that he knew. He knew when I was leaving Colorado that this could not

go on anymore and that would be the last time he saw me. I had no clue. He knew he had to sabotage the relationship on purpose so I would break up with him and this could be over because I was getting too damn close to finding out about him. It's easy to lie to me when we're on an island isolated from his so-called life in D.C. or Colorado or New Jersey or wherever the fuck. But now things were getting too close. He was off the island. We weren't on our little sanctuary anymore. The COVID exception rule didn't really apply. Time had moved on. I was getting too close to finding out the truth. All the random times he broke up with me in Hawaii for no reason. And then we would get back together. And I think the reason he broke up with me so many times is because he was like, fuck, this is getting

harder. She's getting too close. How am I going to figure this out? Shit, I'm supposed to move in with her for two weeks in Hawaii. What am I going to do? Break up. Before, or I actually moved out to D.C. like we had planned because there was no D.C. There was no training. There was nothing that he had told me was our future. That didn't exist. There was nothing for us. So when he was supposed to come back to Hawaii, we had one final call. I was like, don't come. I don't like the way you're treating me. and this is over. After that phone call, I hung up and sprinted to the beach from my house. It's like a two-minute walk. I was running and I felt free. My friend was working from home with me that day and he's up in my balcony watching me on the phone and sees me like throw my phone and run like a wild horse set free. I just ran for my life to the beach, jumped in the ocean and felt the most free. I just ran for my life to the beach, jumped in the ocean and felt the most free. I've ever felt. It was so weird. I was so shocked. I was thinking I was going to be sad. On the phone, I was crying, breaking up with him. Finally, me breaking up with him. God, I got my turn. I was sad about it

because I wanted this to work out. I had this life envisioned that we had created together in our heads. But I just felt so free. And like my body knew I was with somebody toxic and manipulative and that this was something I needed to get out of. And I can never forget that feeling of just that absolute freedom after breaking up with him. But it is really interesting to note, like, at that point, when we had broken up, I didn't break up with him because he was a liar and everything in a relationship I thought was a lie. I still didn't know at that point. I broke up with him because he was mean and because he wasn't treating me like I wanted

to be treated. I didn't really find out all the stuff that I know now is a lie until months later. Buckle up. This is my favorite part. I get a call from him months later. I was supposed to move to D.C. to be with him in January of last year. In January, I get a text from him that says answer, period. And then I get a call one minute later. I'm scared. I haven't heard from him since we broke up. I'm nervous because I still think he has this dangerous, secretive job. I'm like, is he in trouble? So I answer this phone call. and I'm like, hey, are you okay? And it's super loud wherever he is. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, one second. I'm just getting into my apartment. I hear a door closed and then it's really quiet. And he's like, sorry, he was just getting home from work. And I'm like, okay, what's up? Why are you calling me? This is the phone call that I call the incriminating phone call because this is where it all came to me. It starts off with him saying he just got home and then he is saying how he's going on, a special mission with the FBI. He has to lose his phone and this number. And so he's calling everyone important in his life and telling them that they won't be able to reach him at this number anymore ever. I'm like, hmm, interesting. I didn't know I was important in your life still. We haven't talked in months. Why do you have to call me and tell me this? I don't need your number, honey. I didn't say that.

I thought it. But I also thought, hmm, interesting. You're going on a top secret mission where you literally have to lose your phone and you're allowed to call people and tell them that. That sounds like classified information to me. I'm like, okay, how are you going on this mission? How's training going? Is it after your training? Because he's still supposed to be three more months in training. And I remember these details because I planned my life around these details. I was going to move there in January. So I knew he had three more months in D.C. at the training academy, which is in Virginia. He's like, oh, I'm on my first assignment. I'm like, how? I thought the academy was six months. And then I think he realized, oh shit, I forgot my details. He's like, yeah, well, with another surge of COVID during the holidays,

we actually just went an accelerated program and we worked through all the weekends. We worked through all the holidays. We didn't have any time off. And we did our training in three months. So I'm actually done. And I'm on my first assignment. You can blame anything on COVID these days. I'm like, that's fascinating. So where are you? I started my traveling again. So I was actually in Florida. And he goes, I'm in Miami. And I'm like, oh, is that why you're calling me? He's like, what do you mean? I'm like, well, I'm in Florida. Did you know that? He's like, oh, no, I didn't know that. I had posted on social media that I was in Florida. He doesn't have any social media. He doesn't even have a LinkedIn profile. Okay. But he has a hinge. So I'm like,

Did you somehow go on someone's social media and see that I'm here and now you're calling me? He was like, no, I had no clue. You're in Florida. I said, do you want to see me or something? Why are you calling me? He's like, no, I don't want to see you. And then he's like, oh, oh, I got to go right now. I'm going back into interrogation.

Hangs up the phone. Doesn't wait for a goodbye. It was like a tidal wave crashed over me. I was like, hold on a second. He just said he got back to his house. How is he going back into an interrogation? Maybe it's an interrogation over Zoom because of COVID, right? All these COVID exceptions. I'm like, he's lying to me. You're supposed to be in training for six months. You are all of a sudden on your first assignment. That's a lie right there. Kind of weird, you are in Florida and you call me now when I'm also in Florida. Are you stalking me on social media? Did you see that?

All of a sudden, I realize at least those are two lies, the interrogation thing and the training thing. I'm spiraling. I'm not even in a relationship with this person anymore, and they have the audacity to lie to me. I am not dating you now. I've broken up with you. I've released you from my life. And you come back in and you still lie to me? I was like, no, absolutely not. I start thinking of every lie.

That's when I thought about the surfing story. That's when I thought about the FBI X story. I could think of a lot of lies, but I never, never realized that they were serious lies before now. It's almost like you have to be out of the relationship to really have your eyes. be open, I'm like, oh my God, what's true and what's not true in this relationship? All those things he told me about his family, like on our second date, is any of that true? All these things are flooding to me. And I call my friend from D.C.

Her mom is actually in the FBI. I ask her, I'm like, hey, can we talk to your mom? I need to know if this guy is in the FBI. And so I tell her a little bit. I tell her about the interrogation comment, about the special mission comment. her mom's like, yeah, no. You are not allowed to talk about interrogation. That's not a thing. Also, that's really rare that his job would be in interrogation. Most people have desk jobs or they're doing background checks. It's not anything as exciting as that. Also, he wasn't training. So he's probably

not doing these big secretive interrogations. If he is going on a mission, he is not allowed to tell anybody. There is no way. He can call you someone who's really removed from his life at that point, not like his dad or his mom, maybe he can tell them, but not you. And like, can you look up in the system if he's in the FBI? I haven't found anyone who has access to that data. So now I'm Googling him, right? And I'm trying to find things on him. And I can't find a lot of things. I found out he went to university and that's about it. So I'm like, what's true here? I want to go and follow his friends or something. I'm not following any of his friends on social media. I don't know any of his friends. I have his cousin's phone number. That's about as close as we got. He has sisters. I'm normally

like very close with the person I'm dating their family, but I never met these sisters because we lived in Hawaii. And so I didn't have a relationship with them at all. I didn't know where I could fact check this person. Apparently he's not on social media anywhere. I did that reverse photo thing on Google. find anything. I was like spiraling and started asking myself all these questions. And the worst part was we had been broken up for a couple months at this point. And I was getting over that relationship. And then all of a sudden, all this stuff was coming to the surface again. I finally realized I have probably been lied to all this time. It's scary that it took me that long to figure it out. I think because I wasn't under his hold, I was a step away from it and I could really evaluate

things from a distance. That's when I started uncovering all this stuff. Quickly sign up for therapy again. I had already been going to therapy since January. So when I got that incriminating phone call, I signed up for therapy. I was concerned about not trusting people when I date the next person, thinking this person lied to me this whole time. I don't want to go into my next relationship with that energy.

I want everyone to have the benefit of the doubt. I want them to feel trusted and trustworthy until they break that trust. And I don't want him to change me and make me a less trusting and a less loving person and a more scared, nervous person. I don't want to go on my next first date and then go and Google that person after. So I was like, I just need to go and probably talk about this in therapy. I had talked about it a little bit in therapy and then kind of resolved it and moved on. Then all of a sudden, this resurfaces after that phone call. And I'm like, wait a second, I don't think I realized how detrimental this is.

And I'm like, no wonder I haven't dated since January. Last year, I didn't go on a single date the whole year. I kind of thought it was because I was taking time for myself. I was on therapy and I was preparing for my next relationship. Subconsciously, I didn't want to date because I just had this absolute disaster of a relationship where I had pictured my life with this person. I was ready to commit and I wanted to commit to somebody. I wanted that life that we had created.

And so it was like mourning the loss of that. I share a lot on TikTok. I think I cope with life through humor. And I found an amazing outlet on TikTok to share my most embarrassing stories. And we laugh through the pain. And it's a great way to relate with people and to not feel so alone about all these things we go through as humans. I'm maybe a little bit more open than I should be sometimes. So this is essentially like a trauma dump on TikTok, but I did it in a really funny way.

I made a whole PowerPoint presentation. Here is all the reasons I think my FBI agent boyfriend lied about being in the FBI. I did it as a joke because I just thought it was funny and I think it's fascinating. And then it blows up. It hit like 10 million overnight. It was insane. It was definitely the most viral video I've ever had. So much stuff came from that.

On the bright side, so many people. reaching out to me being like, I'm so sorry you went through this. This is actually terrible. And I realize we're making a joke out of it, but I'm really sorry. This makes me sad for you. I'm here for you. I think that's when I started to realize, yeah, wait a second. This actually is awful. This is terrible. I just was so happy to get out of that relationship because it was traumatic and terrible and emotionally abusive and toxic. Once I was out of it, I was just so happy and ready to move on, I didn't really stop to think, wait. I was manipulated and lied to by someone I loved and who told me they loved me for months in such an intense way. This is a really big deal.

So I'm thankful for those comments of such kind strangers looking out for me and being like, we're here for you and I'm sorry you went through this. It helped me heal. You're right. I need to feel these emotions and I need to deal with this because that is a big deal. And then another amazing group of people who reached out and was like, hey, this same thing happened to me or something very similar happened to me. They're sharing their stories and we can cry together and we can support each other. I've made so many friends off of these terrible things. I swear there's like a how to pretend to be an FBI agent book out there. The lies these people are telling, they're so similar. People are getting away with the craziest shit and they're so terrible for putting all these

beautiful people through this. It made me feel less alone. That's shitty. Everyone had to go through this that was reaching out to me. But it made us feel less alone. We had this support group. I made so many beautiful connections. After I posted that TikTok telling this story, I get a DM from someone on Instagram and they're like, hey, I saw your TikTok. Is this guy's name, Aiden by chance. And does he look like this and described him? And did he live in D.C. during December? And I was like, yeah.

What do you know? This is crazy. This girl and I are messaging back and forth and she said she met him on Hinge. They went on a first date. And he told her that he had to look her up before he came on this date, made sure she was safe. He had to do that every time before he went on a date. So this whole date, she felt like he knew way more about her than she had. had said to him and she was scared. She was like, did he bug my phone while we're on this date? She said

she felt really nervous around him. And so she actually never went on a second date with him. But he brought me up on their first date. He starts talking about his ex from Hawaii and how he broke up with her because she didn't want to move to D.C. So that's a lie. I'm also like, why are you talking about me on your first date with somebody else? That's obsessive and freaky. And she's like, it was super weird how much he talked about you on our first date. I said, what did he tell you he was doing out there in D.C.? And she said he said he was on a secret, special mission for the FBI in D.C. So that's a lie right there.

He told me he was going to D.C. for training. Shout out to that girl. I love you. I love how the internet can bring people together like this. I'm so thankful for her because that was a validation that, okay, there is a lie right there. She literally said, I was nervous around him. I thought, is he going to bug my phone when I leave? He wants to feel that power over people.

Because, yeah, what a weird thing to talk about on your first date. If it is secretive, that was the positive aspects that came out of sharing that story on TikTok. There's more. I mean, it was published on Yahoo News. That's pretty cool. But then, along with that comes the truth. trolls. There's just those super great people on the internet who love to hide behind a screen and be extremely rude to a stranger. I've dealt with hate comments before. I mean, I'm a TikToker.

I put myself in that space and I'm really good at just laughing it off or knowing my worth or knowing where this person is coming from. This person is obviously hurting and they're trying to project that onto me. I'm usually really good at that. But, But this story was different because it was really personal when I realized what a big deal it was and how this was actually quite traumatic. These comments were definitely the worst hate comments I've ever received. Terrible, terrible things. And a lot of people calling me out being like, gullible is written on the ceiling.

People being like, girl, this one's on you. You're stupid. Or like, oh, okay, so you were just sex for him. This is so disturbing all these comments. It got ugly and nasty. People calling out my character, people being like, you deserve this. You're so annoying. How did he even put up with you for that long?

I'm giving the mild comments right now because some of them I don't want to repeat. It got so bad. I mean, people on TikTok are bad, but people on Yahoo! That's where the real trolls go. I went to the comment section of my Yahoo article. Stay off Yahoo, I could not believe. And there was not one positive one. On TikTok, at least the most liked comments,

are like the very positive ones because I believe most people are good. The most popular comments are these really awesome ones. But on Yahoo, where are those positive comments? I'd love to see them. I'm like so pumped that I'm on Yahoo. I think this is such a cool experience. And I go to the comment section and I'm destroyed. Luckily, my brother was in town.

He saw that I was really upset about these Yahoo comments. And so he goes on there and starts trolling the trolls for me. And my brother's a writer and he's really witty and he's hilarious. is. So his troll comments back defending me were 10 times better than their hate comments. I feel like that got me through the day. It got a little bit dark for me for a while. I've never really let hate comments get to me that much. But this is just such an interesting situation. I normally post on TikTok every single day. And since that video went viral, I've barely posted. I think it's been like two or three months since that happened. And I mean, that's my job, right? So I'm like, I really got to get back.

to posting on TikTok, but I'm scared of people and I'm hurting. I spiraled into this depression and I needed more therapy and I was all of a sudden so angry that I was lied to. So many bad emotions. This is wild. So Strappen. My friend from Hawaii saw my TikTok and texted me like, yo, Jenna, why don't you have me look this dude up? And I'm like, you can do that? He's like, yes. So apparently he works in the U.S. intelligence community and he looked up his name and their shared work email database at work where he can see other FBI agents that he knows in this database. He texted me, I could not find him in my email system at work, which means he likely does not work for the FBI. I did do some other research and found out he was a

Marine Infiltry officer for a few years in Hawaii from 2017 to 2022, but he may have separated from the military. I did find a press release that said he was selected to be a Marine recruiter in Salt Lake City in 2020. So maybe that prompted him to separate from the military or maybe he got kicked out for some reason or maybe just left. His most recent address on paper seems to be in New Jersey. So perhaps he just moved back home. When I met Aiden, he told me he was out of the military, which checks out, right? Because we met in 2021 and my friend is now saying he got out in 2020. But he did tell me he was still working with a very important general as his personal security guard slash security team while also acting as an FBI agent. I thought, okay, so he's kind of still in the military, which is why it checked

out when he had this random-ass graduation day that I wasn't invited to and he came over to my house in his Marines uniform for me to take photos in 2021. It made sense that he had this graduation, but he got out in 2020. And this was. have been middle of 2021 this graduation that he came over to my house for. He never brought up to me that he got a Salt Lake City job offer, which is curious because I'm from Salt Lake City and he knows that. Why wouldn't he mention that? And if that's the reason he got out of the military, then he would have said something about that I'm sure. So I'm just assuming he didn't take that role. So I have no clue why he stopped being in the military. Maybe he just chose to get out.

But he had kind of always explained it to me as like he got out of the military because he was transatlantic he was transitioning into the FBI, which he obviously wasn't. He said he had been on like five deployments over the last couple years. He had seen terrible things where he should go to therapy for it. He would hint that he had killed people. And by hint, I mean, I would literally be like, so have you seen death? And he would look at me all seriously. And I'd be like, have you killed people?

And he'd look at me like, you can't ask that. Don't bring that up to me. That's triggering. And I'm like, okay, I'm so sorry. I don't want to like trigger you or anything, which instilled some fear in me and just made me wonder what he has done and what he has been through. Again, this could be true. It could be a big deal. He could have gone on all these deployments.

But the more I think about it, I never saw any photos of him in all these different countries that he said he went to. And we never really talked about them because it's too intense. It's too close to home. So the last text from my friend said, Still not sure why he'd lie. Maybe he was just lost in his life. But definitely not an FBI agent. They have to go through six months of training

and they don't just randomly have interrogations in the middle of the day. And he definitely wasn't a security guard for some random general in the U.S. Marine Corps and in the FBI. People are like, why? What was the motive? What did he get out of that? He paid for the majority of our stuff. Do you think of a scammer as someone who takes?

take something from you or it gets your information or takes money from you. None of that was the case. He took my time and my mental health. And that's his motive. I think he enjoys the lying. I think he enjoys the manipulation and likes to see how much he can get away with. I think it's interesting to note who he chooses to do this with. Someone like me who's very trusting who is good at showing love to people and wants people to feel loved, he prides on that kind of person, and he sought that out and he knew that right away. And he's so good at like, let's see how I can use these puppy dog eyes on our first date and make her think I'm falling in love with her on the first date. That's all tactics. He's like an actor. Be aware of that, that some people don't need to get something from you to

fuck with you. The lies is what they're getting from you. The last conversation we had was that conversation, the incriminating phone call. And then actually, I got a text from that so-called dead phone that he had to get rid of to go on his special mission. I would never be able to reach him from that number again. A couple months later, I get a song that he sends to my phone. I did not respond. But I was like, oh, good to know. The phone number is still active. Then he reached out to me on Thanksgiving. He reached out to me on my birthday. No response from me. I think there's a lot of value in finding closure and having those closing conversations, maybe even calling someone out and being like, hey, I know you're a liar. What's the truth? Now I know all this stuff. And I'm going to call you

out. But I also think there's so much beauty in protecting your peace and your energy and moving on from things that no longer serve you. I've had to go to therapy from this situation. And I've had to heal and I've had to work on myself and get myself to a place where I feel okay to trust people and to date again. I am so singularly focused on myself and my healing that I don't want to invite anybody into that. So I will not talk to him again. You should not have to feel like you are being lied to or you should not have to question people's trust or their honesty in a relationship. I'm thankful for this podcast and you, Tiffany, because speaking to you about this before we started our recording, literally felt like a therapy session,

just being validated. You hear stories like this all the time. And these people are the bad people. And these people leaving hate comments are the bad people. These people lying are the bad people. I am a victim, literally. And I think you called me a victim or a survivor. That's so beautiful. I am so thankful to have that validation where I'm like, yeah, I did go through something very hard. And I'm thankful to be coming out on top and not letting this hurt me or hurt my career. So I'm going to post on TikTok. I keep saying February is the new January. I'm getting back to my job.

I feel like my conversation with you about haters and comments and how to deal with those really helped me. I'm ready to deal with those haters again. I feel confident. I feel an overwhelming amount of support since sharing this story. all of my friends coming out of the woodworks being like, you know, we never trusted him anyways. And my conversation with Jake about the surfing story, and that was just therapeutic, like actually being able to laugh about it and be like, he must have been sweating. It's so fun to just laugh about now.

I have a year of therapy under my belt. I feel good about things. I feel good about the world. And thank you for creating this space. Listening to season 12. that was so helpful for me. I wanted to give her a big hug and be friends with her because I was like,

she is so bubbly and so lively. And she went through this shitty story. And she came out on top. She was open that she was still struggling and she was having a hard time getting into the dating field again. But I had no question that she was going to be okay. She's such a strong, resilient person. And it gave me so much hope.

I also love what you said to me when we were talking privately about how you have your Instagram comments turned off and you said seeing the negative comments keep you from doing your job and they keep you from doing good because that's what your podcast is doing or that's what sharing these stories on social media is doing it's doing good it's helping people relate to each other it's helping people not feel alone it's spreading positivity and awareness I'm going to ignore those comments now or even turn them off if I want to I'm never going to take a three month break like I did because I know I'm helping people out there I'm not going to

going to let haters or trolls keep me from doing that good and reaching those good people. He's probably listening to this, shaking in his little fake cowboy boots. Thank you so, so much for all of your time and energy and perspective. I'm incredibly sorry that you went through this experience. I'm glad you're here now. I'm glad you're a part of our community and that you also were able to create your own community on TikTok. That's amazing. Thank you. I'm happy to be here too. I'm so. I'm sorry this happened to me or I'm sad this happened to me, but like a lot of great has come out of it as well. I wouldn't have gone to therapy and I've learned the greatest things. I think my favorite

thing I learned from this whole experience is I asked my therapist, should I enter my villain era? Should I just be fucking cutthroat and be the liar in the relationship? Like all these guys who have treated me poorly? My therapist is like, no. She was like, you don't want to be a supervillain. You are a superhero. The fact that you can remain kind and you can remain loving and trusting after relationships like this, that's a superpower. Kindness is literally a superpower and offering that to other people, space for other people and honesty and trust to other people. That's literally a superpower. And these supervillains are the people who want to take that away from us. They want to ruin our lives and they want to take away our peace, lie to us, and they want to make us hard.

and being the superhero coming out on top like they always do in all the movies is not allowing that to happen and not stooping down to their level and not becoming a villain and then being that hero for other people like sharing stories like this on this podcast so I feel like a superhero he's a villain these people are villains and they should not be praised in any way they should not have any negative impact on our lives like we shouldn't allow it because they don't deserve it so I'm happy to be at a point where I can talk about this on a podcast and feel like a real superhero and to be surrounded by all my amazing sidekicks and other heroes. I'm just so thankful to be on this side of it.

Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe, friends. Something Was Wrong is a Broken Cycle Media production, created and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese. If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your love ones, leave a positive review, or follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram at Something Was Wrong podcast. Our theme song was composed by Gladrags. Check out their album, Wonder Under. Thank you so much.