Something Was Wrong - S17 Ep6: Healer

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

*Content Warning: murder of a child, child abuse, infant abuse, depression, anxiety, physical and emotional abuse, suicidal ideation, death, grief, NICU, cults, disordered eating, gun violence. Free + Confidential Resources + Safety Tips: somethingwaswrong.com/resources SWW SS23 Merch: merch.cameo.com/store/somethingwaswrong Follow Something Was Wrong on IG: instagram.com/somethingwaswrongpodcastFollow Tiffany Reese on IG: instagram.com/lookiebooArtwork by the amazing Sara Stewart:@GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokay*Sources:Stacey’s Blog About Jace’s Journeyhttp://asecondmiracle.blogspot.com/News Coverage on Sartin’s Convictionhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecFgKx9Dyis

If you're serious about growing this new year, what you put into your mind actually matters. And as someone who lives and breathes careers and self-development, even I get overwhelmed trying to do it all. Between work, life, and trying to better yourself, self-care can start to feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But investing in yourself doesn't have to be complicated. And with Audible, it isn't. It's time to take care of you. And who better to help than the top voices in well-being all in one place. With Audible's Well-Being Collection, you can level up your career, finances, relationships,

sleep, parenting, or mindset. Whether you want motivation, clarity, or practical advice, there is something there to support you every step of the way. I listen while I commute, clean, work, or just when I need a little bit of downtime. You'll hear from best-selling authors Brene Brown and Jay Shetty, Chef Jamie Oliver, finance expert Rachel Rogers, and popular parenting guides like Raising Good Humans. Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audiobook free when you sign up for a 30-day trial at outable.com. Membership is 1495 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime. There's more to imagine when you listen.

Something was wrong is intended for mature audiences. It discusses topics that can be upsetting and triggering, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, suicide, child abuse, and murder. Content warnings for each episode are at the top of episode notes. And confidential and free resources for survivors can be found linked in our episode notes as well as on our website, Something Was Wrong.com slash resources. Some survivor names have been changed for anonymity purposes. Testimony shared by guests on the show is there. own and does not necessarily reflect the views of myself, something was wrong, broken cycle media,

or wondering. The podcast and any linked materials should not be construed as medical advice, nor is any of the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. Thank you so much for listening. Please note this episode discussing. injuries to a child, child abuse, including an infant, and the murder of a child. Please use extra caution when listening. As always, you can find our full content warning for each episode at the top of the episode notes. Thank you. Here's Officer Kathy Still. Even after conviction, on Cody's case, because he was sentenced to life, there's an automatic appeal process.

even if he doesn't want to file appeal automatically, an appeal is filed for him. Once we left with that guilty conviction, the prosecutors, the district attorney's office, are still going to be involved with him for years, especially if he's committing other crimes in prison, but there's still more things that will come up for them, the appeals part and everything that they have to continue to fight. Here's DA Callie Strain. You have to take into consideration their feelings. Those prosecutors that work for me, I tell them, this may not be your

only case, but it's theirs. This is their only case. This is their life. And you need to give them that respect and that courtesy that they deserve. They need to know that you are fighting hard for them to give them that comfort back and give them their piece of dignity back, that they lost. I don't know how many times I've told Leslie and her family, I know you didn't have a choice, but thank you for letting me fight for him. Thank you for letting me give him a voice that he doesn't have anymore, even if it was just for that week. Thank you. At the end of this, they gave me a little, I don't know if you call it a statute or a little sculpture, but it's just this woman holding a little boy and hugging this little boy, and they gave him.

that to me as a thank you. I'm staring at it right now. Still sits on my desk. 11 years later. I'm so, so grateful. I hate the circumstances that brought us together. But I am so thankful that Sarah and I were able to fight for him and to bring him justice and to give that family some sort of peace in that chapter. They can start moving forward. They don't have to. They don't have to be. They don't to keep talking about his last moments. They don't have to keep talking about those few days in the hospital of him laying there unresponsive. They finally were able to get this chapter closed. Almost two years, they had to endure the length of a criminal case. So being able to celebrate with them or give them that comfort, that the person who hurt that little miracle baby was going to

prison for life was just a relief. Moving on is not the right word because I know that she's never going to move on. She's never going to forget that. She's never going to forget Jace. But for her to be able to close that painful chapter, I know she shares Jace's memory with her kids and her husband understands everything that she's gone through. I am just so happy that she's able to have a happy life. She smiles every time I see her and I'm so glad that this didn't bring her down permanently. I know there was a very dark, dark time in her life and how could you not have one? But just seeing her come out on the other side to be so happy is a relief. Part of me wishes that she could forget that we were ever in her life, that this ever happened.

the other half of me is so grateful that I still get to talk to them and I still get to see them and I still get to from a distance see the happy that's there. They are such a beautiful family and such big hearts. I pray that all of them have every happiness and every joy that each one of them deserve. They deserve so much happiness and so much joy. And one of these days, we will all be able to either see Jason again. and for those of us will be able to meet Jace, and it'll be a beautiful day.

I don't mean this to sound arrogant or conceited. There is a reason that all of us got put together on this case. There is a reason that Sarah and I were on that case. There is a reason that we were able to meet this family. Sarah and I were the lucky ones. That's for sure. That's beautiful. Thank you so much.

Is there anything else that you think would be important for the listeners to know or that you hope listeners will take away from hearing Jase's story? I would tell you, listen to your gut, follow your heart. I know Leslie regrets decisions that she made in that moment. And I know she made the ones that she thought were right in that moment. It's not like she didn't take into the doctor. And I know those doctors regret decisions that they made sending Jason. back home. They testified to that. But follow your gut. And I would tell you, single parents,

you can do it. You don't have to bring somebody in to have this quote unquote perfect traditional family. What these kids need more than anything is safety and love. I know that there are signs that were given to Leslie, her family tried to talk to her about it. And I'm not saying Leslie did anything wrong or placing blame on her whatsoever. None whatsoever. Cody Sarton is the one that did this to Jace. He is the one that is fully at fault. But I would tell you, I know Cody came into Jace's life because Leslie wanted to give him that traditional family, a mom and a dad, and to have more people that love Jase. That's what she wanted. but I would tell you single parents, you can do it.

Your kids don't have to have all the material things. You don't have to have the latest iPhone. They don't have to have a brand new vehicle when they turn 16. Because I promise you when they grow up, what they are going to remember about their childhood is not, when I turned 16, I got a brand new car. What they're going to remember is whether or not they're parents loved them, whether or not their mom and their dad were there for them, showed up for them,

and loved them. That's what they will remember. And that is your number one job as a parent, is to make sure that your babies know that they are loved. Here's Stacy. We've kept a relationship with the district attorneys and the detectives ever since, which is nice. I really appreciate what they did for our family and how supportive they were. Even the court reporters, because Leslie and I were not able to be in the trial, they actually gave us the transcript of the trial afterwards, which I guess is unusual, something that they didn't have to do or don't usually do, but they gave those to us so that we could see what was said. Leslie's read them all. Some of that is too hard for me to read, like some of the details of his injuries and things like that. I don't want to know. My whole,

attitude towards Cody from the beginning has been that I just did not want him to exist. I didn't want him to die. I wanted him to disappear from my world. I did not want to know about him is how I felt about him from the very beginning. That's kind of how I feel about him now. I was really proud after when I was a teenager, I got shot and I forgave the man who shot me and I wrote him a letter and told him that I forgave him and he wrote me back and said, thank you. That was very healing for me and I appreciated it. And when this happened, I was kind of like, I don't think I can forgive Cody. I don't know how. And that made me feel bad that I was supposed to, but I didn't know how I could. And what I settled on is I would not let him turn me into a bad person. I imagine that if I saw him walking down the street and he tripped and fell,

that I would stop and I would help him up and I would not say a word and I would just keep walking. I forgive him the best I can, but I also don't think he should ever get out of jail. There was this feeling like we have to start a foundation or a nonprofit or do something to change the world now. And I don't think we were really left with the capacity for that at the time. That pressure felt overwhelming. People do a lot of things like that to make a meeting out of tragedy. And it's not that we didn't want to. It's just that we had nothing.

There was nothing left in the gout. tank. There was such like a deep grief and deep depression. My mom suffered for many years with pretty extreme depression. I think that Jace kind of rescued her from that as well in a way. And then her other grandkids have really given her a lot of purpose in life. I think that she recognizes the importance that Jace played in her life and still talks about him a lot. She has terminal cancer and I think we all have a lot of comfort in the fact that she'll be with him. soon. I'm not sure that this was the best timing or the best way to do it. My sister and I both felt pressured to get my mom another grandchild. It was a weird trauma response, but I felt this internal

like I've got to get my mom a kid to love. I think when Leslie got married and started having kids, we were very close. I was not a second parent to them. I was an aunt to them, but I was still very close with them and helped her a lot and did a lot with them. And I think that that was very helpful. It was good to have little kids to love, filled that void a little bit. Things we did to feel better were good, but they also were maybe not the best timing. Leslie fell in love and got married and had three kids. I became a foster parent and had some kids that I ended up adopting. It was a natural thing that I had a propensity for. Because we had fostered and then Leslie adopted, Jay, I was already certified as a foster parent. So a little girl at the school that I worked at was taken

into CPS custody and they needed a place for her to stay and I volunteered to take her. So that's kind of how I got into it. And then ended up with more foster kids who I eventually adopted. I adopted three siblings, a girl and two boys. They had a brother and sister also that were younger that my best friend adopted. We kind of adjacent parent, don't take like co-parent, but we help each other a lot and support each other. And my kids now are 19, 20, and 23. So they're grown now. I'm getting married this month. I'm going to have my wedding and then we're opening up all this trauma. But I think preparing even for this podcast has kind of helped with that a little bit. We've talked more about what happened and about different things. And so I feel like we've had some just recent little bit of healing

there as well. Our relationship, we've kind of drifted apart. We didn't talk as much just as her kids got older. She started her own business and got very busy, but I love her very much and I don't blame her for what happened. I think that she is a strong person. I'm very proud of her and love her very much. I will say one more thing. When I told the DA that we were all sentenced to a lifetime of unhappiness that the good thing that has come out of that is that that wasn't true. One thing that I do know now is that I can go through the worst thing imaginable and I can still be okay. I am happy and I have been happy and my life is still good. It's still hard to talk about and it's still sad and I still have deep grief but I'm also happy. And that is a source of strength

to like go forward with this. I don't have to be so afraid of the future now because because I've already been through the worst thing I can imagine. What I've been thinking about a lot lately is how the things that happened to Leslie and I in our childhood, we both had a sense that we were worthless or that we lacked the confidence or the understanding of like what we deserved. That is what made us vulnerable to cults, to eating disorders, to sociopaths. I want people to know that, number one, that there is healing available even from the worst traumas. You can go through something awful and be okay. Also, raise your kids to know that they're worth your time and that they are important

and that what they want and what they need and what they feel matters. And also know that what you want and what you need and what you feel matters. I think if we had really understood that earlier in life, it would have probably protected us and buffered us from people like that coming into our lives. If you're serious about growing this new year, what you put into your mind actually matters. And as someone who lives and breathes careers and self-development, even I get overwhelmed trying to do it all. Between work, life, and trying to better yourself, self-care can start to feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But investing in yourself doesn't have to be complicated.

And with Audible, it isn't. It's time to take care. of you. And who better to help than the top voices in well-being all in one place. With Audible's well-being collection, you can level up your career, finances, relationships, sleep, parenting, or mindset. Whether you want motivation, clarity, or practical advice, there is something there to support you every step of the way. I listen while I commute, clean, work, or just when I need a little bit of downtime. You'll hear from best-selling authors Brené Brown and Jay Shetty, Chef Jamie Oliver, finance expert Rachel Rogers, and popular parenting guides like Raising Good Humans. Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audiobook free when you sign up for a 30-day trial at outable.com.

Membership is 1495 a month after 30 days. Cancel any time. There's more to imagine when you listen. Here's Leslie's husband, Chase. I would say what happened with Jace, I think it put a lot of strain on my wife and her sister's relationship. they didn't really seem too close, especially in the aftermath. I really got to know Peg more after Stan had passed because we started to help her more. Their mother, I make her meals to this day. Their mother's a very sweet lady.

Leslie's a great mom. My boys love her. They always want to be around her. If she leaves for five minutes, whereas mom always heard about her. She's a great mother, just like I knew she would be. And today we've got three mama's boys. I'll tell you about boys. If it came between me and her being out in the rain,

I'd be the last one standing. I wouldn't have it any other way, honestly. Knowing what you know about the story and Leslie, what do you hope that people will take away from it? I just hope even if it just prevents this man to one other person, it'd be more than 100% worth everything. I think you really should be careful who you leave your children with. You should be wary of trusting any.

with your children because there's people out there capable of unimaginable evils no matter what you think every girl should really study and I learned to identify narcissism the narcissists they're the most dangerous men on the planet they are sly they are cunning they will have you believing their lies are lying for them and if you don't think so you're playing a dangerous game because the narcissist can lie and believe their own lies and it gets deep and It's scary, really, frankly. Here's Lauren. I do remember worrying about Leslie.

Like, you know, this part's over and she's going to have to really try to heal. Because I feel like she's so good at staying on track. Like, okay, I need to get this done. And then she focused on the trial and she focused on this. I just kept thinking, man, the grief is probably going to hit her hard. After all that kind of settled, I just remember worrying about her and the grief. She still had to work. We worked together.

We were friends outside of work. so we spent a lot of time together. Being around my daughter at that time gave her some peace because she had so many great memories of Jace playing with my daughter. I think it gave her some comfort. She got a lot of beauty there at the end coming to her life. She met her now husband. And that helped.

He was a support and he was very good to her. Jace is always missed, but her life was changing and there was some positive that was coming in it. So I was really happy to see that for her. Her and Chase continued to grow and they eventually got married and that was really beautiful and they got to have a family. I would say she's still Leslie. She's still in there. But wow, she has grown.

She has put in the work and she's just become like the Leslie, he knew that was in there that just needed the confidence to come out. She's not afraid to be herself. She's not afraid to say what's on her mind if she needs something or want something. she's a really good mother, which we all knew was going to happen. You know, we got to see a little bit of it with Jace, but she really is. You know, she loves her boys, their priorities. I would just say overall, I think the person she wanted to be is the person she's definitely becoming.

And I think that has to do with her just putting in the work to do that and not just be afraid and staying in her shell. Because she's done that has really improved a lot of relationships. I know her and her sister finally got to have a. a very needed conversation with each other to get to the point in the relationship that they both want. She has come a very, very long way. And something she should be proud of. I tell her that too.

Something she should definitely be proud of. I'm excited to see where she keeps going because I think she just keeps getting better and better. I'm so excited for Leslie and I'm so excited for this journey that she's done with this podcast. This has been the biggest and the best way she is healed with this entire situation. This has been hard for her, but so good for her at the same time. I think you really open it up the door for her to really face a lot of things and start healing. I was so happy for her and so happy she found you and how much this means to her and everyone involves. It's going to give this whole situation a voice.

And hopefully in the future can help someone out there that's going through the same thing. What I hope listeners gain from this is listen to your gut. Even if you've only been dating someone for a short amount of time or a long time and things aren't adding up or you're always left wondering, listen to your gut. And don't be afraid to talk to someone you trust. Because I think sometimes you could be feeling a certain way and you can overthink or overquestion. yourself, but bring those loved ones in, let them near. A lot of the times in an unhealthy relationship, you're getting isolated and that can really brainwash you. Don't be afraid to

find a loved one, just speak to them and educate ourselves. I really would love to see something from this come to where we can educate young women before maybe they get into these relationships, you know, as they're starting to want to date, as they're starting to want to be involved with somebody. I really hope that this can bring some kind of platform for the future. The more we know, the more power we have. A couple years after the trial, the DA was interviewed and said Jayce's case is the case that has had the most influence on her. Think about her job.

She had to fight for abuse children every day. That takes a very strong person. She has now moved on to bigger things, which is well deserved. She's a rock star. I'm still in contact with the assistant DA and see her about once a year in passing. She always fought for Jace selflessly as well. I was real gung-ho around the trial about changing the world for Jace, but for some reason I just couldn't.

We did the march against child abuse, and I wanted to do so much more. But in order to do that, I would have to relive what happened over and over, and my mind and heart just couldn't take it. For all these years, there's also kind of been this weird wall with me and my sister that's just recently come down. She doesn't like to talk about Jace, really. She has gone through a lot of therapy and she really worked on herself, which I've seen a lot. I just felt like I really needed to sit down with her and have this truth and love talk. I needed to apologize to her because I feel like at that time and probably ever since then,

I never really realized the impact all this had on her or the decisions I was making when I was with him, how they were impacting her. And it was a good raw time where we got to just say what we needed to say. She said, Leslie, I forgave you the minute it happened. You don't need to apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. So she's been real good about being that logical voice for me and all this, which I appreciate. My sister and Jace had this cute little zany relationship.

I'm going to read a post from her blog about Jace's life when he turned one. On Jace's first birthday, we had cupcakes with just a family at my mom and dad's house. My cousin Andrew and I thought Jace would love some silly string, but he really, really didn't like it. I'm not sure if it was my mom singing or the silly string, but he was terrified and cried and cried. Poor little guy. Jace's big birthday party, the next weekend, was ridiculous. We had enough food for a few hundred people and planned about a million activities. For some reason, to celebrate the birthday of a little boy on oxygen who couldn't even walk,

we were convinced we absolutely needed to have a Jupiter jump. Jace mainly hung out on the patio because of his oxygen, but all the other kids had lots of fun. He got way, way too many toys, and we all yelled at my sister for planning an outdoor birthday party when it was so hot outside. I feel so sad that so much time of his short life is such a blur to me. I thought there would be billions more moments to cherish. I never imagined there would be so few. Now trying to write this, I hate that I can't think of more. I should have held each second closer.

I can't remember what year it was, but after Cody had been, been in prison for several years, my aunt, who was close to Jace, and there for the trial, actually had an encounter with Cody in prison. She was a teacher at an alternative school and went to visit her former student. Cody came and sat right down next to this former student. Apparently, him and this former student were friends. I can only imagine the shock my aunt felt seeing them. We're all Christians and believers and active in prayer and so forth, and I believe that it was honestly divine orchestration. I worked in pretty rough schools in Tulsa on the north side for many years, and I keep in touch with many of my former students, and unfortunately many of them have passed and or are in prison.

And this one kid in particular, I just felt led to go see at D.L. Moss, which is our local jail, and he was eventually sentenced to 38 years for accessory to murder. I would visit him. And in the meantime, is praying for an apology for three years. It was a Sunday morning and it was freezing cold. The wind chill was horrific and the last thing I felt like doing was driving to this prison, getting up on a Sunday and going to see this kid, but I did. We were in the visitor room across from each other, this massively long table visitors on one side, inmates on the other. And we're chit-chatting And all of a sudden I see Cody spreading across that room by the vending machines going to get something to eat. I just looked at my friend and I said, I can't believe it.

He said, what's up? I said, that's the dude that murdered my great nephew. And he was like, you're kidding me. And I said, I can't talk right now. I was just sitting there thinking, why is this happening? Do I say anything? This can't be by coincidence. Oh, my gosh, what's going to happen?

Is he going to recognize me? Anyway, he visited with his mom and grandma and his mom and grandma. ended up leaving. And of all things, Cody came and sat right next to the inmate I was there visiting. So we were literally sitting across the table, not two and a half feet away from each other. And he sat down with his food and was just shooting the bull with my friend. He looked up at me and said, hey, and I said, you don't know who I am, do you? And he goes, no. And I just sat and looked at him. I said, I'm Jason's aunt. and his whole demeanor changed.

He grabbed his food. He started to get up. And my friend grabbed him by the shoulder and said, no, you can sit down. And I said, yeah, stay, Cody. Let's chit chat. And he was like, I'm not staying here. I'm not eating here and tried to get up again. And he ended up getting up and leaving and going someplace else to eat.

I sat and chit chatted with my friend for a little while longer. And I just said, I got to get out of here. I'm just beside myself. So I went to the door for the guards to let. me out and I started crying pretty profusely and so I was looking down at my feet because I didn't want all the inmates and all the people seeing me ball like a baby. Next thing I know, I see a pair of feet right in front of me and I look up and Cody and I are just face to face and he said, I'm sorry for what happened to Jase. And I said, you need to say sorry to Leslie and he said,

tell her I'm sorry. If you're serious about growing this new year, what you put into your mind actually matters. And as someone who lives and breathes careers and self-development, even I get overwhelmed trying to do it all. Between work, life, and trying to better yourself, self-care can start to feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But investing in yourself doesn't have to be complicated. And with Audible, it isn't. It's time to take care of you. And who better to help than the top voices in well-being all in one place. With Audible's Well-Being collection, can level up your career, finances, relationships, sleep, parenting, or mindset. Whether you want motivation, clarity, or practical advice, there is something there to support you every

step of the way. I listen while I commute, clean, work, or just when I need a little bit of downtime. You'll hear from best-selling authors Brene Brown and Jay Shetty, Chef Jamie Oliver, finance expert Rachel Rogers, and popular parenting guides like Raising Good Humans. Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audiobook free when you sign up for a 30-day trial at outable.com. Membership is 1495 a month after 30 days. Cancel any time. There's more to imagine when you listen. And then when I remember just the gut-wrenching grief that he'd put everybody through, I asked specifically for an apology for every person that I could think of that had been affected so profoundly by Jason's death. And I said, what about Peggy? You know, and he said,

Tell Peggy, I'm sorry. And I said, what about Stacey? Tell Stacy, I'm sorry. And I went through everybody and there was nothing left to say. So we just looked at each other for a minute and then he just walked off. Come to find out my inmate friend when they had gotten in line to go back to their cells basically told him he needed to man up and own what he did. And that's why Cody had walked over to me. Then I got out of the prison. I was shaking. I was crying. I was so emotional. And I called Leslie right when I got out of the prison gate. She literally screamed on the phone and just started crying and sobbing and said, tell me what happened.

Tell me what happened. And I said, just meet me at your mom's. I only want to tell this story once. And so we met at Peggy's house and I kind of drew a diagram of the visitor room at the prison and how everything happened and what happened and what he said. And she just said she was so thankful because she'd been. praying for three years for an apology and how it came around was such a God moment. Knowing what I have found out after the fact about Cote's predatory behaviors in terms of his

supposed viral notebook with all these women, he was befriending and their salaries and I don't know what kind of wacko stalking methods he had, but just be as cautious as you can about the people your meeting, listen to your gut. I don't know if this has been brought up by Leslie or anybody, but I'll never forget this. Peggy had Googled what Jace's name means, and it meant healer. Peggy told me that she got more peace and more closure from that. It didn't take away the pain, but the fact that his name meant healer, and I don't know how many organ recipients, there were five, six, seven, but good can come out of anything, no matter how hard it is to

see. Of course, my family encouraged me not to believe anything he says, so I don't know what to believe, but for me it was that one little piece that I needed. I'd always thought about writing him a letter in jail. Of course, everyone told me not to, but a few years ago, probably two years, I wrote him a letter. I sent it to him. I didn't care if he ever got it. I just, I just, just needed to get the words out. After all these years, I can only hope maybe he would be in a better place. Maybe he would come to some renewed sense of needing to relinquish his guilt and say what happened. I never got a letter back from him, but that's okay. I don't even know if he got it, but at least I got to say what I needed to say. Before doing this podcast, I thought about

reaching out and seeing if there was any way that I could sit down face to face with Cody. and see what he had to say to me now. I didn't really know how to go about that process, and I didn't know if they even let victims meet with the convicted. I didn't know how that worked. I didn't know who to contact. So I just thought, you know what? I'm going to reach out to his sister,

the one I had contact with all those years ago, and just see what she thought. So I'm going to read those messages between us. I said, hi, it's been a long time, and I'm not sure if contacting you would be the right thing or not, but I wrote Cody a letter about a year ago. I'm not sure if he received it, but it helped me to write it. I'm just now kind of starting to deal with everything that has happened,

and I was curious if Cody would ever agree to a face-to-face visit. I'm not sure if I want to do that yet, but I wanted to ask you before I looked further into it. Her response was, Hmm, I don't really know what to say, except that if you are ready to come to terms with the fact that you sent an innocent man to jail, then I think he could agree to see him. you. My brother loved children and would never have harmed a child. You, however, have your perfect

family now. You have taken away the only uncle my children have ever known. My youngest son will never get to know my brother and know how much he loves him. You have robbed all of us of a life with my brother. Until you are ready to make that right, you will never have peace and this will never be over. So I just responded, clearly contacting you was the wrong thing. She wrote, I don't think you would know the right thing to do if God himself came down and told you. I was probably your safest option. I would not suggest contacting anybody else in our family until you are ready to tell the truth. I didn't respond and I didn't tell my sister I sent these messages because I knew she would not approve, but a week later I wound up telling my sister what happened and she was just irate. She could not

believe that she said these things to me. And in those messages, she still was finding a way to manipulate me. It took my sister reminding me that he is the bad guy, he is the manipulator, he is the abuser, he is the murderer. So, of course, I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer. So the conversation continued. I said, you do realize I had nothing to do with him being charged, right? The state looked at the evidence and based on that evidence, chose to charge. him. The extent of Jace's injuries pointed to only one person that could have done this. Of course, we discussed this all 13 years ago, so I don't need to repeat myself. I have a copy of the complete trial transcript, and if you need to see the evidence more clearly,

I will be happy to send you a copy. I will never believe the words of a known liar and a family that continues to be manipulated by his lies over the evidence. That being said, I get it. I would have never believed that someone so loving could do these things until the evidence spoke for itself. But I hoped after 13 years, he would be able to say, I'm sorry, I messed up. In fact, my aunt saw him in prison once while she was visiting a former student. The student and Cody happened to be friends. As she was leaving, Cody came up to her and said, tell Leslie, I'm sorry. He proceeded to ask her to tell my sister, my father, and my mother, he was sorry. That was the most honesty I ever got out of him. But I'm sure he never told you that happened. I believe in his anger he made a mistake. For that, I would

think he could take ownership. I don't feel sorry for your children or for Cody. They can still have a relationship with him. Cody gets to live and breathe and walk this earth while the most perfect being was taken. I spend a life in my own prison without the three-year-old that saved my life. My life is blessed now. It sure is. My life is a testament to what God's grace and mercy that he gave me the gift of the most loving and selfless husband whose love and devotion I have never once had to question. And though I failed as a parent, he gave me a second chance. He gave me a second chance. and I have three beautiful boys that I spend every day trying to make up for failing Jace. I would love for Cody and I to both find peace by the truth.

But it's not my truth you need to be seeking. It's your brothers. Since that's not in the cards right now, I will continue to pray that eventually Cody chooses to be honest with everyone, including his own family. She responded, honestly, Leslie, I really don't care how you are. Stop messaging me and my family. We will never believe Cody did this, and we will never not believe that you and your sister had something to do with Jace's death,

and my brother, a very stupid, naive, uneducated person was an easy target for you to pin it on. I will never believe otherwise unless he told me otherwise. I don't know you, I don't want to know you, or your controlling family. Now go away. Do not message me again unless you are ready to admit what you and your sister did. And then we just stopped the conversation. It was beyond my comprehension.

So clearly nothing has changed. No one wants to think that their family member is capable of doing something so evil. Do I think that he intended to be this evil, manipulative, maniacal person? In my heart, I can't think that he truly set out to be that way. I talk about my life experiences that led me to the choice and led me to the place that I am in life. I do believe that it is his life experiences, the way he grew up, the way he was parented, that set him on his path. He knew his life was about to spin out of control and he was running off the rails. He had no back-up planned and he knew his life was about to change.

And he snapped. The rest of his life in prison is probably more of a blessing to him than anything because he would have not made it out in this world much longer without being in prison anyways at the rate he was going. After all this, he tried multiple times to get the judge to grant some condition of release or some argument against that he had inappropriate counsel and all these mistakes were made. He tried that at least three times, which was denied by the judge. He tried two appeals, which were denied, and he has no other options. This is his life now. And this is my life. We've both been sentenced to a life that we didn't think we would ever be in.

I've noticed ever since this has happened, my focus is not so much on child abuse, per se. It's, I don't want to fix the problem after it's happened. That's doing a disservice to children all over the world. I want to prevent it from ever even happening. So where do you start? They find these men who say they will take care of them. They live together. They can't get away.

Getting away from these people is not so easy because just like, me, I needed his monetary help in order to survive for a period of time. And I had it easy. It was a house I was going to lose. And that's it. These other women, they're not only going to lose their house, they're going to lose any means of supporting their children. They can't just leave and start over. It's not that easy. I want to do something to help single mothers, give them the education, give them the encouragement, give them the resources that they need to get out of these unhealthy relationships and have a safe place to go. Because if we can prevent this from ever happening, that's the only way we're truly going to save other children. I don't want us to have to deal with

their repercussions after it's happened. I don't want children have to go through child abuse and deal with that the rest of their lives and try to recover from that. I don't want children to be put in the same position where they are just reliving the cycle and perpetuating that cycle, meaning they live through this abuse. They may at some point because they lived in it become abusers themselves. I want to stop all of that from ever happening. I want to break the cycle before it even starts. Mental health is so poorly funded in society that it's so hard for anyone to get help anyways. I want to do something about that. That's my avenue that I would, would love to find some organization to support.

That's been one of my dreams since this happened. It's unfathomable for me to think Jace would be 16 years old right now. We have missed out on all the life experiences, all the sports he would have played, all the days he would have driven me crazy like my boys drive me crazy now, all the preteen years and learning to drive, all the birthdays, all the holidays. I can only imagine what he would be like today, but I know he would have been amazing and continue to do great things. But in my mind, I only see him as that beautiful little three-year-old boy

that's displayed in pictures all over my house. I like to think he's up in heaven playing with his papa and watching over me, his aunt and his grandma, who are still here on earth without him. And that helps me get through each day. I'm happy that I've been able to share the story and get this all out. This has been unbelievably healing for me and cathartic, and I just hope that it helps someone.

I can deal with whatever comes my way after this, whatever people want to say about me, the choices that I made. I can face the guilt and move on to help others. I can say, don't do what I did and deal with the repercussions of what others think or say about me. Every person is different. It's not a one-size-fits-all. And we all can be manipulated in different ways. You know, we all are our own person. We have our own thoughts, our own minds, our own fallible ways. It's not just so cut and dry that everyone out in the world who wants to troll on social media and people think it is. It might have taken all these years, but I'm just so glad that I can finally do it.

This has been a huge step for me and my healing, and this is more a way that I can get it all out, knowing it might touch someone, even if it's one person, that's good enough for me. So I just want to say thank you for allowing me the opportunity to do this. Dear Jace, I've spent the last six months or so learning about you. I've listened to those who love you deeply, your mom, your aunt, and your loved ones. I learned about how you became their whole world. And they told me how much you loved things like veggie tales and handy manny, Mickey Mouse, monster trucks, dancing, singing,

that you loved to stare at the moon in the sky, and your favorite color was green, and that you told those that you love the most. I love you too much. Your family, who loved you deeply, described you as a happy, bright, shining light that warmed everyone around you. Despite this love, you also experienced horrific things

that no child should ever, ever endure. You didn't deserve to enter or leave the world the way that you did. Many tears have fallen thinking about what you had to endure just to survive your three short years on this earth. The first time I spoke with your mom, we both expressed our desire to use this as an opportunity to not only honor your special and important life and how loved of a kiddo you are, but to also help others hopefully avoid a similar fate by learning. through these experiences. Your heart and your organs

live on through the recipients of your transplant. And your spirit lives on through your family who keep your memory alive every day. May your memory be a blessing to all. Thank you for sharing your family and your loved ones with me these last months.

This season is dedicated to your honor. With deep love and sorrow. Tiffany. For information about how and where to file a report of suspected child abuse or neglect. Call the Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline. Child Help can be reached seven days a week, 24 hours a day, and its toll-free number 1-800-4-4-A-child. That is, 1-800-4-22-44-53. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, Stay safe, friends.

Something Was Wrong is a broken cycle media production, created and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese. If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram at Something Was Wrong podcast. Our theme song was composed by Gladrags. Check out their album, Wonder Under. Thank you so much.