Something Was Wrong - S2 Ep2: Strange Ailments

Episode Date: August 16, 2019

*Content Warning: gaslighting, domestic abuse, emotional and physical abuse, distressing themes, childhood abuse, medical trauma, factitious disorder.Music from Glad Rags album Wonder Under

If you're serious about growing this new year, what you put into your mind actually matters. And as someone who lives and breathes careers and self-development, even I get overwhelmed trying to do it all. Between work, life, and trying to better yourself, self-care can start to feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But investing in yourself doesn't have to be complicated. And with Audible, it isn't. It's time to take care of you. And who better to help than the top voices in well-being all in one place. With Audibles' well-being collection, you can level up your career, finances, relationships,

sleep, parenting, or mindset. Whether you want motivation, clarity, or practical advice, there is something there to support you every step of the way. I listen while I commute, clean, work, or just when I need a little bit of downtime. You'll hear from best-selling authors Brene Brown and Jay Shetty, Chef Jamie Oliver, finance expert Rachel Rogers and popular parenting guides like Raising Good Humans. Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audiobook free when you sign up for a 30-day trial at outable.com. Membership is 1495 a month after 30 days. Cancel any time.

There's more to imagine when you listen. This podcast is intended for mature audiences and could be triggering to some. Please use discretion when listening. Factitious disorder imposed on another. FDIA, formerly known as Munchausen Syndrome by proxy, is a mental illness in which a person acts as if an individual he or she is caring for has a physical or mental illness when the person is not really sick. According to the Cleveland Clinic, in this mental illness, the adult perpetrator has the diagnosis and directly produces or lies about the illness in another,

under his or her care, usually a child under six years of age. It is considered a child under six years of age. It is considered a form of abuse by the American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children. People with FDIA have an inner need for the other person, often his or her child, to be seen as ill or injured. It is not done to achieve a concrete benefit, such as financial gain. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5, there is no evidence of external rewards and no other illness to explain the symptoms. Fortunately, it is rare. Two out of 100,000 children. The Cleveland Clinic lists the symptoms of factitious disorder imposed on another as, often a parent, usually a mother, but can be an adult child of an elderly

patient, spouse, or caretaker of a disabled adult, might be a health care professional, is very friendly and cooperative with health care providers, appears overly concerned about the child or designated patient, and may also suffer from factitious disorder in person. posed on self. Other warning signs include, a child having a history of many hospitalizations, often with a strange set of symptoms. Worsening of a child's symptoms generally is reported by the mother and is not witnessed by the hospital staff. The child's reported condition and symptoms do not agree with the results of diagnostic tests. There might be more than one unusual illness or death of children in the family. And the child's condition improves in the hospital, but symptoms

reoccur when the child returns home. I'm Tiffany Reese, and this is, something was wrong. And she says he's been having seizures. And so he's on phenobarbital. And I never saw him have a seizure, but he didn't talk a lot. It was very odd, beautiful baby. He was not a baby then, I guess, young child, toddler. Very sweet-spirited, but he didn't talk a lot. And I remember thinking that was odd.

Right before this next move, she says his kidneys are shutting down and he's kidney transplant and he's super sick. So all of a sudden the focus is now shifting to the child. Like this is the child is sick. But I remember telling me, my husband actually doubted that my son was having seizures because he never saw him have a seizure. And I'm making him give the son, you know, Barbital because they share custody, right? So the son is going to stay at his dad's house, her first husband, who she's divorced from now, right?

So he has him like probably what every other weekend or something like this. And the medicine will go with him, of course. And then the husband starts questioning, like, why am I giving my son this medication? I've never seen him how many. I remember that conversation. And I can remember her outrage of, my God, like, why are you questioning me? This is, you know, this is bullshit. This is ridiculous.

And I remember being mad. Oh, what a jerk. What an asshole. It's like a two-month time period. And then, you know, this big scare and he might need a kidney transplant and he's having to go to the doctors. and then all of a sudden he doesn't need a kidney transplant. His kidneys are working better.

He's feeling better. She's sicker. We were all like so concerned for this little boy and then all of a sudden he's not sick anymore. Her son consistently had these strange ailments, odd elements. Things didn't make sense. When we were training together,

she told me that she was leaving the position because her son had a brain tumor and she was going to have to take care of him. So at this point, we're going to jump a house now. So she says, I found this amazing house. It's like 45 minutes outside of our main city here. It's a beautiful area. It's kind of up the mountains a little bit.

And she's like, I found the most beautiful house ever. And she shows me pictures of it. Super, super, super cool. And I was like, yeah, but it's 45 minutes away. like, so I was like, you know, we're not able to help you as much. Like I, I'm, that's my concern with this because like she was 10 minutes away from my house before she needed something. I was there. I can remember one time she was too sick to pick up the kids from school and I was on the emergency context. So I could go pick up the kids and bring them home. So I was like, you know,

I won't be able to do that anymore. Like, remember thinking to myself, how can you guys afford this? Like, I don't know what's going on, but that definitely occurred to me. And of course, my husband, I helped her move. and helped her unpack because, you know, she'd be unpacking and be pale and have to sit down. But I remember her sitting in that living room tell me this is going to be my place to heal. This place is so beautiful. I'm going to, I'm going to heal here. I'm going to get better here.

I'm going to kick this cancer's ass, you know. Like I said, it was beautiful, but I couldn't go there very often. I remember going there one time and I remember her being in bed and it was super dark. and her not feeling good. And I remember the house not being kept up, smelling like dog urine. I did go a few times, but not like in the past. She didn't live there that long. And she moved back to Orangeville.

They rented a house in Orangeville. In this house, this move in Orangeville, they decided to get married. So that was a whole huge thing, right? Person's dying. You know, I want to get married before I died. And in this time period, her daughter's grandmother moved from the Bay Area to where we live in Northern California to help with the child and help Sylvia. And she was very helpful with the granddaughter. She put her in art therapy counseling where they would go and do drawings and paintings and talk about her feelings.

And she had a counselor that she talked to about her mom being. sick and that kind of thing. And so when we decided to have the shower, the aunt that lived in town and the grandmother and I all threw a big shower. Bobo! I mean, we all chipped in money. We all went all out.

How long do you think you had known her at this point? Two years. Okay. Yeah, two years maybe. And you've been close friends for probably at least a year. Over a year, yeah, for sure. Okay. there wasn't a whole lot of time in between the saying we're going to get married and getting married.

And her biological father really wasn't in the picture. Like, he lives in a different state. Right before the wedding as well, she said that she needed this implant that would, like, release chemo, but that our insurance wouldn't cover it. I can remember kind of being indignant, like, oh, my gosh, your insurance won't cover this. It's what you need. It's what's going to help you. blah. She said that she reached out to her dad and he paid for her to get the implant before her

wedding. I think there was probably like 30, 40 people there. So that's all of the hospital people and our spouses. So that was probably half of the wedding. I really like any friends outside of us. Yeah. Then she was working for us but became very unreliable at this point. Like she will call in sick a lot or you know, we'd have her on the schedule and she just wouldn't show up. Like when she was there, it was great because she was really good at her job. But I can remember her totally shaking, hands shaking and like having to, you know, shake it off and like trying to pull blood again. And her husband now, he worked a lot of nights, late nights, where he was out on patrol. And then I can remember her telling me that she found out Jason was not a police officer,

that he was a community service officer and she was very mad about that and I was like, well, what does that mean? I don't know what that means. What is a community service officer? She was like, it's not really a police officer. It's like a low-paying thing. And I was like, wow, that's weird.

Things didn't make sense. This is Curt. Stories that were told of who he was at first. One time he was a police officer's and then we found out he was a security guard. I mean, we had an impression of him wasn't so good. I didn't cross past with him too much because when he was home, I wasn't there.

So we would see each other in passing. He was always extremely pleasant to me. He was never rude. He was nothing but kind. And he was fine. It was lovely to me. I can remember a couple of times, are you taking her to this doctor's appointment or am I taking her to this doctor's appointment?

Texting wasn't very big back then. We weren't on Facebook. No. So you wouldn't have seen. Correct. Right. No. And you never saw him in a uniform?

No, I always saw him in a uniform. Yeah. A police? And you thought it was a police uniform? Yeah, to this day, I don't know if she was lying and he really was a police officer or if he was, who knows? But do you, it look like he was a cop and a police officer? Yeah, and when he found out that she said that, he later, after everything was out in the open, I said, well, you were lying about being a police. He's like, no, I am a police officer.

If you're serious about growing this new year, what you put into your mind actually matters. And as someone who lives and breathes careers and self-development, even I get overwhelmed trying to do it all. Between work, life, and trying to better yourself, self-care can start to feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But investing in yourself doesn't have to be complicated. And with Audible, it isn't. It's time to take care of you. And who better to help than the top voices in well-being all in one place? With Audible's Well-Being Collection, you can level up your career,

finances, relationships, sleep, parenting, or mindset. Whether you want motivation, clarity, or practical advice, there is something there to support you every step of the way. I listen while I commute, clean, work, or just when I need a little bit of downtime. You'll hear from best-selling authors Brene Brown and Jay Shetty, chef Jamie Oliver, finance expert Rachel Rogers, and popular parenting guides like Raising Good Humans. Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audio book,

free when you sign up for a 30-day trial at outable.com. Membership is 1495 a month after 30 days. Cancel any time. There's more to imagine when you listen. So there's different levels of nursing. There's an RN, a registered nurse, there's an LVN, and then there's nurse practitioners. So an LVN is kind of the lower end. RN is the next step up and then a nurse practitioner. So she was an LVN, although I believe that she told all of us,

that she was a registered nurse, which is an RN. I do not believe she was a registered nurse. I do not believe she finished the education process to that point, but she was nursing. She got a job at Folsom Prison. That pays extremely, extremely well. At this point, she's maybe working for us one day a week, or she would just come in when she, it was kind of like that thing. Like, we love you.

You just come in and work whenever you want. It's great when you're here, but we can't have you on the schedule. Again, she was pregnant. again, she told me she lost the baby. I believe she was told me in the four years that she was pregnant at least four times. And I did personally drive her to get an abortion and I did stay there through that. One of the only times I actually went inside someplace with her. And I remember her being upset and crying and holding her hand. The nurse taking her away and then me talking to the nurse after she got wheeled away saying, you know, this is extremely hard.

Like, you know, she's a nurse, but she's battling cancer. And I remember the nurse looking at me really strangely. That was extremely difficult, you know, and that was not okay. That was not fun. That was not, it was a very emotional, difficult experience. And then there was one instance where she had gotten pregnant and she was going to have an abortion. That's Jen.

I took care of the kids. I took him to school. and she went off to her surgical appointment that day. And then she came back like normal. I had taken care of the kids and gotten them dinner. And she was laying on the couch resting, you know, like you would after such a procedure. And she didn't have any pain medication. I was like, you know, let me, I'll go pick up your medications from the pharmacy for you.

To it can get you more comfortable. And she was like, oh, no, no, no, I don't need them. I'll go pick them up tomorrow. She did suspect that her husband was having an inappropriate relationship. They started becoming volatile and arguing. Next time. And I get a telephone call. It's Jason.

He says, I'm at work. Sylvia called me. I think she took a bunch of pills. I need you go check on her. If you haven't purchased your ticket to Something Was Wrong Live Sacramento, you still have time. Get $4 off your ticket now with code SW at something was wrong.com slash events. Something Was Wrong Live Sacramento will take place Saturday, August 24th, 2019 at the Sophia at B Street Theater in Midtown Sacramento. Sarah, Alyssa, myself, and a panel of experts will discuss all things something was wrong and answer your burning questions.

After the show, hang out. So we can hug, not hug, take pictures for the gram, have a cocktail, whatevers. See you soon. Something Was Wrong is written, recorded, edited, and produced by me, Tiffany Reese. All of the music by Gladrags. Hear their album Wonder Under on iTunes. Follow the hashtag Something Was Wrong Pod on Instagram. You can now purchase something was wrong merch at www.threadless.com.

The books referenced on this show can be found linked in the show notes. If you or someone you know is being abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799 Safe. That's 1-800-799-7233. Thank you. If you'd like to help support the show, please consider leaving a five-star review on iTunes and sharing the podcast with your family and friends, and neighbor, and garbage man, and gynaecologist, and record producer, And ex-boyfriend. No, don't do that. Yeah, just like everyone you know.

That would be cool. Thank you. Love you. Bye. Virtual meditation with Shiloh. Uh, hello. Today we're working on forgiving ourselves for not knowing the difference between upload and download speeds before getting cable internet. That's oddly specific.

Repeat after me. I am not my cable internet. Wait, I don't have cable. I'm not a bad. If my video calls, more like video stalls. Hey, Shiloh, there's something... I will get AT&T fiber. And I will switch classes until you do.

Slow upload speeds? You're not a bad person. You just need better internet. With 20 times faster upload speeds, AT&T fiber delivers a faster internet experience than cable. Get AT&T fiber with no annual contract, limited availability in select areas. Call 1877 only ATT.

Check eligibility at ATT.com slash get fiber based on combined internet 1,000 wired up and download capacity versus major cable providers one gig service with uploads of 35 megabets per second. Speed vary, not guaranteed. Restricted supply.