Something Was Wrong - S2 Ep3: Wanted to Die Pretty

Episode Date: August 21, 2019

*Content Warning: gaslighting, domestic abuse, emotional and physical abuse, distressing themes, childhood abuse, medical trauma, factitious disorder.Music from Glad Rags album Wonder Under

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Hey, I wanted to give an extra trigger warning today because we will be discussing the topic of suicide. Please take care when listening. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported suicide as the 10th leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of over 47,000 people. Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54. There were more than twice as many suicides in the United States as there were homicides. The National Institute of Mental Health lists the warning signs and symptoms of suicidal behavior as follows. Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill themselves.

Talking about feeling empty, hopeless, or having no reason to live. Making a plan or looking for ways to kill themselves. Talking about great guilt or shame. Talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions. Feeling unbearable pain both emotional, and physical, talking about being a burden to others, using alcohol or drugs more often, acting anxious or agitated, withdrawing from family and friends, changing eating and or sleeping habits, showing rage or talking about seeking revenge, taking great risks that could lead to death such as driving extremely

fast, displaying extreme mood swings, suddenly changing from very sad to very calm or happy, giving away important possessions, saying goodbye to friends and family, and putting affairs in order, such as making a will. If you or someone you love is having suicidal thoughts or behavior, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273 Talk. That's 1-800-273-825, or text the word hello to 741-741. Both services are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. All calls are confidential. I'm Tiffany Reese, and this is, something was wrong. suspect that her husband was having an inappropriate relationship. They started becoming volatile and arguing.

Can you recall how long after the wedding it shifted from, we're married to he could be cheating on me, he's not a cop? It was within six months. Now it's Christmas time. And I get a telephone call. It's Jason. He says, I'm at work. Sylvia called me.

I think she took a bunch of pills. I need you go check on her. I said, okay, I had a very important function to me, was at my church, and I was getting dressed up. At this point, I'm starting to becoming emotionally and physically exhausted from this stuff, all of this stuff, all of these calls, all of this going over there, all of everything. I'm starting to get tired now, and it's not my proudest moment, and I certainly regret my timing of it, but I did not rush to go over there. I'd not take it that seriously, to be honest with you, and I still feel guilt to this day for it.

And right as I'm walking out the door, my phone rings again, and it's him. And he's like, are you there yet? And I was like, no, I'm on my way. You know, and he goes, well, I've called the police. And I was like, oh, shit. Like, he really thinks that, like, then it became real to me. The reason he was calling me and not going himself is he was on patrol or whatever the heck it was he did for a living. And, like, I want to say it was like an hour away in a suburb. So I I literally threw my flashers on in my car, and I was running red lights, driving like a bat out of the hell to get there. Like literally, like honking my horn, telling people to move over, because at the end, now I panicked. Pick up my phone, I call my husband.

I'm absolutely hysterical. I'm gasping for air, that hyperventilating. I tell him where I'm at. He has to come right now. Just come. Police were there, but she had these two big, mean, massive dogs there, and the police weren't going to go in. And she knows the dog as well enough. She could go in and get the dogs off into a different room and let the police in.

So I go inside and I let the dog, put the dog, one dog, I was able to chase out, the biggest dog, chase outside. And then the old English bulldog was able to show them in the bathroom. And then I ran to the bedroom. It was a horrific scene. She is there. She has dressed up. She has a skirt on. She has high heels on.

She has makeup on. and there are pictures of her children all over the bed. And I had hand-painted her a wooden box and then lined it with velvet. And my box was out there and like any thank you notes or any notes that I had written her of encouragement. They were all in bed. Did you think it was weird that she was dressed up? At the time, no, I thought she wanted to die pretty. And it was scary.

And I felt that instant guilt. I felt horrifically guilty that I did not get there sooner. I felt sick to my stomach. I thought I was going to vomit. But the scene that was set up was like a movie scene. You know what I mean? And so I instantly ran to let the police officers in at this point. But I remember the police officer, like once they got her that first, they like backed off.

Like they weren't trying to help her. I found that odd. I did. We're waiting for the ambulance to come. They are doing a sternal rub, which is where you take your knuckles on someone's chest and it wakes them up. She did come out of it a little bit and she said, I just can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore.

At the time, I thought she might live with the cancer. Now looking back, I think she couldn't continue with the lies any longer. Jason walks in and he sees the scene and I remember him. going, oh my God, oh my God, and just like being that gut wrench. So as the ambulance is there and they're putting her on a stretcher and they're rolling her out and they're taking their time. There was no rush. I don't, I don't believe that she was really trying to kill herself or she wouldn't have called her husband. I believe that she was doing it for attention, but I also believe that after she took the medication,

that she did have those thoughts of, I'm exhausted and I can't do this anymore. The ambulance driver told me, I see that she has children. They were both with their respective fathers this weekend, so the children were not there at this time. But he said, I can see that she has children. When she comes out of this, I want you to tell her that the statistics are, if a parent kills themselves, the children are more likely to kill themselves. And I said, what? And he said, yeah.

So that's a good deterrent for her to never do. this again to tell her that if she does this, that her children may do this to themselves. That's a big statistic. I have no idea. I don't know if that statistic is true, but that's what the ambulance driver told me at the time. They take her away. I'm like ill. Hands are shaking. I'm crying. And I can remember standing in the kitchen talking with my husband. And then I looked over and I saw Jason and I did see him get on his phone. He was talking to somebody and I remember thinking it was odd. I remember thinking, I think he's talking to a woman. And I remember getting a really bad feeling. I was like, that piece of shit, he is cheating. And he is calling whoever he's

cheating with right now as his wife is being driven in the ambulance. And I remember getting to the hospital, talking to the nurse outside the room first. And they said that, so she's going to have charcoal all over her face and down her front. And we leave it on them. Uh, we, we, We want them to know what they did and see the ugly repercussion of it. I go in there, here's this frail-looking, pasty white, very short hair, charcoal all over her face and then down in the front of her hospital gown. And there's my broken friend that I thought was dead when I saw her. And that emotion and then her saying, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm sorry too now. Because I will never get over that. I will never forget that. She said, yeah, I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of having cancer. You know, my husband's been an asshole. I just wanted out. And I go, well, unfortunately, you don't have that option. You have children. And you cannot do that to them. And I remember going, did you find me? Yeah, I found you. Did you have any awareness of what she had taken, how much she had taken, or anything like that? There was six empty bottles on the bed. At the time, we're all thinking she's just so tired of fighting the cancer.

And it's been different treatments through this, just so you know, like there was some radiation, and then, like, she had a radiation burn on her back. She had, you know, she would show me where the radiation had, like, you know, made her skin really pink. She had a procedure. She's had several procedures where I would see the marks of the procedures. You know, the fighting with her and her husband was creasing, and then she was telling all of us at the veterinary hospital how her husband had become abusive. We were like, oh, we are all feeling bad for her. All of a sudden, the house that was next door to them had went up for sale. Her dad was going to

give her the money to buy the house, and that the people that were, that owned the house, were going to let her start doing the work on the house now, because it kind of needed a lot of right before someone could live there so that they would not charge her rent while she was fixing up the house that she was buying. This house next door, though, was kind of weird and interesting because they take out the kitchen at this house. I believe Jason does this, takes out the kitchen. She tells all of us at the veterinary hospital that she has to get out. Like, she can't live with him anymore and that he's cheating on her. And of course, we're all appalled. Like, what an asshole. He's not being, he's not helping her. He's not being kind to her. He's not helping with the children,

etc. So we all pull together because it's a tight group of people. And the practice manager who lives an hour away, she got her two sons, her husband, they all came from now our way, drove down, my husband, people that worked at the hospital. We had to get her out on this day because Jason was working. So all the people that were off went over and she had like nothing packed. And we moved all of her stuff from one house to the next door. She got there to the new house at like 4.30 in the afternoon. And we had been moving all day. And she was like, thank you so much. You know, because she's not strong enough to move anything, right? She's sweet. But it's like six or seven at night. And we're all exhausted. We've moved all day long.

And then Jason pulls up. And I remember the look on his face was like, going on here. Like, what is happening? And then I saw him. So I walk over. Hey, and he's like, hey, thanks for helping move. And I was like, that's odd. Okay.

And what is happening? Like, why is he here? One, why is he here? Why does he look surprised? And why did he thank me? The practice manager. What's going on? Why is he here? I'm like, I don't know. This is so odd. What? What's going on? I remember we were all a little kind of agitated by it. You know what I mean? Like, dude, we just spent our whole day off doing this. I think I go over like two days later or something like that. And Jason's in the new house. And I'm like, what the holy hell is going on here? Well, he said he's really sorry. And I, you know, I don't want to be alone.

And it's like, what the hell is going on? Like, we just moved you out of that. Like, what the heck? You know, you tried to kill yourself over this guy. Like, what is going on? And I remember being angry and hurt and confused. And it wasn't a big giant thing. It was very just the scratching of, hmm, what the heck is happening?

You know, she had an answer for everything. She had an answer to everybody for everything. She had an explanation for everything always. They were washing their dishes in the bathroom sink. So they're eating out. There's no kitchens. There's no cooking going on. So there's lots of it.

That was very odd situation. The whole thing, her living there with him, her being in that house, the house not having a kitchen. But it was all very odd, very strange and it looked like the marriage was going down the toilet. Pretty rapidly. I can remember her calling me and saying, I went through Jason's phone last night and I found some texts from a girl. So I took all of his shoes and I put him in the swimming pool. Okay.

That was odd. Somehow I talked to Jason and he said, Sylvia has lost her mind. I'm going to have to move out. That's probably a good idea. So here we're moving again. I'm going to rent a house and Jason's going to move back in here and take over the mortgage payment because I can't do it. So he had moved out and was in his own, I don't know where he was staying, but he had moved out. I talked to him.

He said that Sylvia had broken into his house when he was at work and poured a paint all over his sofa and his floors. And I was like, what? And he goes, she broke into my house. She took my dog and she poured paint all over my floors and my sofa. He said, I got my dog back, but my shit's all ruined. And I was like, are you sure? So I call her and she goes, yep, I sure did. She goes, I broke into his house and I took his dog and I drove it to the hospital and I put it in the kennels there.

And I went back and I poured paint all over his shit. I wanted him to hurt the way I hurt. That was some crazy town. Like I knew something was off kilter then. I was like, you can't do that. That's like crazy. You can't. You can't go to jail.

That's crazy behavior. You don't take someone's pet. why gave it back? That's great, but that's crazy pants. You can't do that again. Like, you know, you're my best friend. I got your back even when you're wrong, but you are wrong, and I will tell you you are wrong.

Yeah, that was odd. And I did think that's crazy. That's irrational behavior. Next time. Her back of her head was shaved, completely shaved, and there was a one and a half inch, one inch incision. that was stitched up where she had had surgery. If you haven't purchased your ticket to Something Was Wrong Live Sacramento,

you still have time. Get $4 off your ticket now with code S.W at something was wrong.com slash events. Something was wrong live Sacramento will take place Saturday, August 24th, 2019 at the Sophia at B Street Theater in Midtown Sacramento. Sarah, Alyssa, myself, and a panel of experts will discuss all things something was wrong

and answer your burning questions. After the show, hang out so we can hug, not hug, take pictures with a gram, have a cocktail, whatevers. See you soon. Something Was Wrong is written, recorded, edited, and produced by me, Tiffany Reetz. All of the music by Gladrags. Hear their album Wonder Under on iTunes. Follow the hashtag Something Was Wrong Pod on Instagram.

You can now purchase something was wrong merch at www.spreadless.com. referenced on this show can be found linked in the show notes. If you or someone you know is being abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799 Safe. That's 1-800-799-7233. Thank you. If you'd like to help support the show, please consider leaving a five-star review on iTunes and sharing the podcast with your family and friends, and neighbor and garbage man. and gynecologist and record producer and ex-boyfriend. No, don't do that. Yeah, just like everyone you know.

That would be cool. Thank you. Love you. Bye.