Something Was Wrong - S26 Ep5: A Restoration (Chapter 1 Finale)

Starting point is 00:00:00 If you love Something Was Wrong and want to help support the show, become a community contributor on Apple Podcasts, or purchase a sticker from our sticker shop at brokencyclemedia.com. Thank you so much. Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences and includes topics that may be upsetting. This season will be discussing friendship betrayal, religious abuse, stalking, sexual assault,

Starting point is 00:00:26 and other serious topics. So please listen with kids. Some names have been changed for safety or anonymity purposes. The podcast and any linked materials should not be misconstrued as a substitution for legal or medical advice. Sources and resources can be found in the episode notes. Thank you so much for listening. Last time on Something Was Wrong. I felt so validated by the court and by these 12 jurors.

Starting point is 00:01:21 The verdict was March 2025. The sentencing was October the month before the sentencing hearing. I had texted the victim's advocate and I'd sent letters of support. I didn't want the defense to have my victim impact statement before the sentencing hearing. The prosecutor said, so you're going to testify today? I said, do you mean read my victim impact statement? And he said, yes. I think I was up there for like three minutes. It seemed like a very short time as I'm answering, I was thinking I'll still read my victim impact statement. It's been prepared ahead of time and it's going to be a lot more effective in a situation like this where I'm so nervous and that didn't happen. As soon as the judge shared the sentencing, I felt a tapping on my back. The court victim advocate was like, we've got to go and we were rushing

Starting point is 00:02:18 out of the courtroom, even though everybody was still there and the judge was still talking. Finally, he's like, what's wrong? And I said, why didn't I read my victim impact statement? He said, you did? And I said, no, I didn't. When I got home, I stood there by my front door and I just said, there's no way that this just happened. And it made me extremely concerned for other victims. I'm like, how have they been treated?

Starting point is 00:02:46 How are they going to be treated after me? This is the justice system. We're not dealing with a church. We're not dealing with a university. We're dealing with an actual legal process. Hopelessness really came over me. This thought gently comes into my head. That wasn't the only way to share it, my victim impact statement.

Starting point is 00:03:11 So then I decide to videotape myself reading my victim impact statement. and I shared it to Facebook. This is my victim impact statement. My name is Marie Kaluna, and I'm the victim in a case against Sergio Guardia, who has been convicted of stalking and breaking into my home on two separate occasions. No written statement can capture the full weight of what Sergio has done. My trial testimony offered only a glimpse of the abuse I endured, psychological, emotional, and spiritual. The harm continues not only from his actions, but from the deliberate

Starting point is 00:03:46 protection he has received from Thomas Road Baptist Church. For years, Sergio used his position of power and spiritual authority to psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually abuse me. He harassed me, monitored me, my activities, stalked me, assaulted me, and ultimately broke into my home on multiple occasions. Sergio displayed a consistent pattern of manipulation and exploitation. He weaponized my past trauma. He sought as opportunity to exploit. And he did so while cloaked in religious authority, which made his abuse even more damaging. He weaponized my trust, violated my privacy, and ignored every boundary that I set. To him, my boundaries were not knows. They were challenges to overcome. He used church networks, mutual connections, and his pastoral

Starting point is 00:04:33 role to entangle himself deeper into my life. What appeared to be generosity or ministry was in fact a calculated pattern of coercive control and spiritual exploitation. These were not isolated incidents. His actions were part of a much larger pattern of coercive control and abuse enabled by systems within the church that has protected him. In my attempt to feel safe, I moved multiple times, but no matter where I went, Sergio's obsession followed me. When I discovered him inside my home in November 23, several years after last seeing him, I realized that his behavior had escalated beyond stalking into direct physical danger. I recognized that my kids and I were, in fact, in very real danger. Both nights that he broke in, he entered through my 16-year-old daughter's

Starting point is 00:05:19 bedroom. On the second night, video evidence shows that he was in her room for nearly 10 minutes. He never went upstairs. It chills me to my core to imagine what could have happened if we had been home, or if I had not discovered the footage. His actions crossed every possible line. He was not only violating my safety, he was invading and violating my daughter's safety. He was invading and violating my daughter's safety. Sergio's crimes shattered our sense of peace and safety. I live with PTSD and have experienced both anxiety and depression. I constantly checked my home for hitting cameras.

Starting point is 00:05:54 I struggled to sleep, to focus at work, and to be fully present for my children. The financial strain has been significant with therapy costs, lost wages from court preparations and appearances and the mental toll of ongoing trauma. The impact on my children, especially my daughter, has been devastating. He broke into her bedroom. her safe space, her childhood sanctuary. That room had been a safe space, a place for constant sleepovers and core childhood memories. Our house was the go-to spot for all the kids and friends.

Starting point is 00:06:28 It was always full of like energy because of them. As a single mother, my ability to provide stability was compromised. And I still wonder if her friends were ever truly safe in our home. And that question haunts me. The harm did not end with Sergio's conviction. Thomas Road Baptist Church, the institution he served, has continued to protect and defend him. Instead of standing with victims, they chose silence, distortion, and public sympathy for the offender. After his conviction made national news, the church used his platform to portray him as a victim,

Starting point is 00:07:02 misleading the congregation and diminishing the seriousness of his crimes. Their actions emboldened abusers and retramatized survivors. This is not only about one man's behavior, it's about a system that allowed abuse to thrive under the cover of faith. Sergio has never shown any remorse, any. Instead, he has reframed his crimes as injustices against himself, manipulated those around him, and continue to seek control through sympathy and denial. A man who refuses to take responsibility does not stop, he adapts. He finds new ways to exert control and reestablish power. That makes him a continuing danger not only to me and my children, but to any person he can influence or deceive in the future. I know there will be letters and testimonies

Starting point is 00:07:47 describing Sergio as a loving husband, father, and pastor. His supporters will describe him as a man of God that did good deeds and incredible work in the ministry. They do not change the facts established in this court. The character descriptions do not erase his pattern of abuse, the crimes he has committed and the harm done to me and my children and other victims. I recognize that Sergio's wife may feel pain and fear as her husband faces sentencing. I empathize with any spouse in that situation, but sentencing is not about minimizing discomfort for the offender's family. It's about justice, accountability, and public safety. Sentencing must reflect the ongoing danger he poses, not the convenience of sparing his family the consequences. I trust that your decision will be based on

Starting point is 00:08:38 truth of what was done and not on selective stories told by people who did not live through the danger, the fear, and the impact of these crimes. I also want to emphasize that Sergio's behavior toward me over the past 10 years was intentional and calculated. Not a misunderstanding. This was a pattern of grooming control and escalation. He groomed me through helpful favors. He isolated me by discrediting my friends. He tested and violated my boundaries, escalating into sexual assault, stalking, and home invasion. He guessed. let me into silence and confusion, and he used his position as a pastor to spiritually and emotionally abuse me in an attempt to destroy my identity and gain control of me. Sergio's actions represent

Starting point is 00:09:18 a clear and ongoing danger to others. He has shown no remorse and continues to manipulate those around him. The ongoing involvement of third parties who have continued to monitor and intimidate me on his behalf demonstrate that threat to my safety has not ended, even after his conviction. Your Honor, I respectfully ask the court to impose the maximum sentence allowed by law, reflecting the deliberate escalating and predatory nature of these crimes, to extend the protective order to the maximum duration allowed by law, to ensure long-term safety for me and my children, given the ongoing risk and history of escalation, to prohibit him as part of sentencing and supervision from serving in any pastoral counseling

Starting point is 00:10:01 or leadership capacity that grants him authority or access to vulnerable, individuals in order to ensure public safety and prevent future abuse and to require post-release supervision with active monitoring. By holding Sergio fully accountable, this court will send a clear and necessary message. Abuse committed under the cover of religion will not be tolerated, not in our homes, not in our churches, and not in our communities. Sergio sought to shatter my safety, destroy my credibility, and take control of my life. He failed, but the damage he caused is lasting and deep. I speak today not only for myself, but for every survivor who has been silenced, dismissed, and discredited, especially when their abusers

Starting point is 00:10:42 were protected by their position of authority. I ask this court to look beyond personal endorsements and to focus on the truth, the evidence, and the lasting impact of these crimes. Thank you, Your Honor, for hearing my voice. Sincerely me. Thanks for listening. Every victim deserves to be heard. I shared it and it really took me by surprise that so many people were actually interested in it. I thought maybe a couple people might listen to it. It turned out to be thousands of people that listened to it, that commented, that shared it, because I posted it publicly.

Starting point is 00:11:26 Many people I don't even know or I'm not even connected on social media commented or shared. That was so surprising to me. I was so glad that I thought to do that because people were so incredibly supportive. It sounds like it restored your faith a little bit in humanity. It absolutely did. I'd like to thank Quince for sponsoring today's episode. The best summer pieces are the ones you end up wearing on repeat, comfortable, versatile, and somehow right for almost every occasion. That's why I love Quince. They make elevated essentials you, using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton, and washable silk without the traditional retail markup. Quince's 100% European linen pants, dresses, and tops are the pieces you'll reach for

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Starting point is 00:14:06 A woman from the victim's notification system had contacted me. It turns out I think I was supposed to wait for him to actually be sentenced to register for the notifications. So she had called me because she got my request. She had left a voice message asking that I call her back because she got my request, but she just wanted some more information. So I had called her back. and she was like, I can't find him in the system. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry, the sentencing was actually today and he was sentenced. She was like, okay, great, now you'll be registered and get the notifications. She mentioned she was actually off work that day, but because she got my message, she decided to call me back. If that's not support, I don't know what is. Then I told her what happened in court, and I said, is there any other support I can get? And she had a contact at the, Attorney General's office, and she highly recommended that I get in contact with her. So I emailed them,

Starting point is 00:15:07 and I gave a summary of what I've been through. I told them that it was too late to submit my victim impact statement into the record, and they said, no, it's not. Just send it to us. We'll submit it in the record. And so they got in contact with the clerk's office in Lynchburg, and they submitted my records and then gave me confirmation that my victim impact statement was in the records. I felt so validated and valued. And that's one thing I have rarely felt by the church. Well, I haven't felt valued by the church at all. I didn't feel valued in court, really. And I didn't even feel valued with the group of supporters that came around me. So feeling valued was huge. I didn't know until a few days after sentencing hearing that he had the week to be with his family and then turn himself in.

Starting point is 00:16:04 I didn't know because I was taken out of the sentencing hearing by the victim's advocate, which is crazy that I found out from somebody else later because right after a sentencing hearing, when criminals convicted of crimes like stalking and breaking and entering an assault, especially when he is sentenced to jail, is a critical time where a victim could be in even more danger because of retaliation. What kind of advocacy is this that I wouldn't be notified and prepared for something that affects my safety? But again, that's another pattern.

Starting point is 00:16:42 During those four months when he was incarcerated, did it have an impact on your sense of safety? I wish I would have felt safer, but I didn't. I was really worried about retaliation, which it's always in the back of my mind when I share things publicly. When I finally knew that he was in jail, I didn't feel safer because he's not my only threat. After my story made national news after the conviction, Jonathan Falwell made a statement to the congregation. Back in 2023, it was in November of 2023. One of our staff members who served in our Spanish ministry was originally. arrested. It happened, I think on a Saturday night. And on Sunday morning, I was sitting in my office

Starting point is 00:17:31 about 6.30, 7 o'clock that morning, and I got a text from Matt Wilmington, who had gotten a text that from someone who saw in the news online, I guess on social media, and sent him a story about what happened with this individual who's serving our staff that had been arrested the night before. I found out about it right before I came to preach. We didn't have any details. We didn't know the situation. We didn't know anything that was going on. on. That afternoon, I met with the deacons, and I shared with them that we had a staff member who was arrested for stalking and burglary or breaking and entering, and that we'd seen only the news, the only information we had that came from that store. So I shared it with the deacons that day,

Starting point is 00:18:13 and I told the deacons that afternoon, that Sunday afternoon, that the next day, when our team had the opportunity of meeting with him, that certainly his position would be terminated immediately, but what would not terminate is that we as a church would continue to minister to him and to his family and to the other parties, the other, the victim. We would minister to all of them because that's what the church is supposed to do. And so the next afternoon, or maybe two afternoons later when he was actually released from jail, one of our pastors went and met with him and shared with him in that moment that your job ends now. You know, you're no longer employed by Thomas Road, but certainly we want to do what we can to minister to you, and minister to your family. It's a tragic situation.

Starting point is 00:18:56 What really it is, is just, it was a stupid decision made by a human. In other words, it was just sin is all there was. And sin breaks everything that it touches. And so that's what happened that afternoon. So his job was terminated. A few days after that, one of our pastors talked with the victim in the situation,

Starting point is 00:19:17 the other party in the situation, and offered to her, our prayers, number one, offered her assistance, any assistance that we could give, offered counseling if she so chose to take advantage of that at no charge. And she made it very clear, like, if I need something, if I need, you know, I'll certainly reach out. I know how to do that. I'll give you guys a call. And so that's what took place in those days, the following that situation, the following Sunday,

Starting point is 00:19:43 after, of course, all the news had come out, all the story of all the details that was taking place, we went into our Spanish congregation. and Louis de Dal and Matt Wilmington and our Spanish pastor sung all three of them stood before the Spanish congregation and shared with them. Of course, they all already knew because it had been in the newspaper, but still they shared with them at that point what we knew, because all we do came from the media. Now, in the last year in, what, five months or so,

Starting point is 00:20:11 I've not spoken about this issue in this room or anywhere. There's a reason for that. I've not spoken about it, and no one on our team has spoken about it because it was an ongoing legal case. And in an ongoing legal case, not even police officers will speak to it, not the attorneys will speak to it, because obviously there's ramifications for everything you say on every level.

Starting point is 00:20:31 Last week, it went to trial and was adjudicated. He was found guilty on all charges. And so today I'm able to stand up and share with you what we did all through this journey, what we've done all through this whole situation, which has been a tragic situation. And by the way, understand that in a situation like this, No one wins.

Starting point is 00:20:51 So the family doesn't win. That staff member who's now been convicted, he doesn't win. The other party, the victim, the lady, she doesn't win. The church doesn't win. And ultimately the body of Christ doesn't win. And that's what sin does. When sin comes in, it doesn't just affect one person that affects all of us. And so that's where we are.

Starting point is 00:21:13 Now, I will say this and I will say this clearly to you. everything that we have done from the moment that we found out about it that's that sunday of twenty twenty three everything that we have done we have done with one purpose in mind to make sure we act with integrity and that we do things biblical when our staff never talked with the victim in the situation on that first phone call days after it took place um it was shared with her that we certainly love him uh that our staff member who's arrested we love him uh we're praying for him and it breaks our heart what happened but we love God and his word more

Starting point is 00:21:49 and he shared with her make sure that you cooperate fully with the police make sure you tell them everything they need to know why because it is more important that we do things biblically and with integrity than it is to try to hide things we're not going to hide anything we have acted with integrity we've acted biblically we've done everything we possibly could with the information we had

Starting point is 00:22:08 and the timing that we had we've done everything we can to honor Christ through all of this even as difficult as this is and I will say this And this church and our staff, we will always act biblically and we will always respond in every situation, no matter how tragic it might be, to try to reflect the love of Christ first, but also to reflect the integrity that Christ expects from us as followers of Christ and certainly leaders in the church that we want to make sure we act with integrity in every situation. And I make that commitment to you. That is how we will always respond. It is how we will always act, is what we will always do, because we do not represent Thomas. Baptist church we represent Christ and that's how we're going to serve and that's what

Starting point is 00:22:51 we're going to do and so it's a tragic situation hearts break coming up in August I think it is the sentence state there's a family that is still walking through some of the most difficult storms that you could possibly imagine we need to continue to pray for them there are some that might suggest and because of what he has done that the church should turn our back on them and I would say to you that that is exactly opposite of what God's work tells us to do we're not going to turn over we're going to continue to pray for them we're going to continue to minister to them certainly he's not going to work here and certainly we're not going to stand up and and

Starting point is 00:23:23 fight for him listen he made a stupid mistake and it's sin and sin has consequence absolutely but man we're still going to love him we're going to love the other party we're going to continue to minister to her as best we can we can we're going to do all that we can uh to provide whatever assistance we can provide and that's what the church ought to do and so i'll let me share that with you and last finally what i would say to you is this is that if there's any questions you know you know There's a reason why I stand down here every Sunday after church. It's the reason why, if you ever call my office, it's hey, I'd love to meet. The answer is always yes.

Starting point is 00:23:53 There's a reason why I try to be available, even though it's a large church, is don't make sure you always recognize and understand that as pastor here, as the shepherd here, like, hey, I'm accessible. And if you need me, if you have a question, or listen, and this is tea, or if there's other concerns that I don't even know about, man, I want to hear about it. Kind of that old New York City Police statement, if you see something, say something. right? Why? Because we have a responsibility to reflect the Word of God, the gospel of Christ, the Church of Christ, and we want to make sure we do it with integrity, and we want to make sure we do it

Starting point is 00:24:27 biblical. The following audio is part of a sermon that executive pastor Matt Wilmington gave to Thomas Road Church on October 26, 2005, eight days after Sergio's sentencing. I have a friend this morning who woke up actually, literally, in jail. A dear friend of mine, and he's in prison, and I love him, and God's doing a beautiful, deep work in his life. And he's praying for God, Lord, I'm in the dark night of my soul and my family. Will you do something? Listen, Peter, yes, he will. If you are being hunted by the enemy today, and you feel like you're in your dark night,

Starting point is 00:25:13 heaven will show up and God will deliver. Amen? Since Thomas Road Baptist Church's inception in 1956 and Liberty Universities in 1971, both institutions and their founding family have long been the subject of focus and scrutiny in the media. Just two years after Liberty University was first, founded, the Securities and Exchange Commission sued Falwell's Church for fraud and deceit in connection with the issuance of $6.5 million in uninsured bonds. A 1981 article by the New Yorker shared that, quote, in court, the judge absolved the church of intentional wrongdoing and the SEC lawyers dropped the words fraud and deceit from their complaint in 1973. However, in NPR article

Starting point is 00:26:06 reported that the same year the suit was dropped, quote, Liberty University filed for bankruptcy and reorganized losing millions in church investors, end quote. In 2001, Jerry Falwell continued to face media scrutiny when he made inflammatory statements on the 700 Club television broadcast two days after the September 11th attacks. CBS News reported that Falwell said, quote, God had allowed terrorists to attack America because of the work of civil liberties groups, abortion rights supporters, and feminists, end quote. An apology was issued on his behalf within days, but the words had already been spoken.

Starting point is 00:26:51 Not long after, Jerry Falwell passed away in 2007. His son, Jerry Falwell Jr., consequently took over as president and chancellor of Liberty University. In 2020, Jerry Falwell Jr.'s personal scandals and alleged misconduct were revealed and then highlighted in the 2022 documentary, God forbid, the sex scandal that brought down a dynasty. The controversy centered on allegations involving an extramarital relationship between Falwell Jr., his wife Becky Falwell and a former business associate, Jean-Carlo Grande. The documentary also raised concerns. about Falwell Jr.'s use of university resources and governance practices. The scandal caused an immense amount of national media coverage, as Falwell Jr. had long served as one of the most visible leaders of evangelical higher education and a prominent political ally

Starting point is 00:27:51 of President Donald Trump. As public pressure mounted and Liberty University faced growing concerns about institutional credibility, Falwell Jr. formally resigned as president in August 2020. As a result, Falwell Jr. openly agreed to take an indefinite leave of absence from Liberty University. However, he was still allowed to remain available for consultation with leadership before he ultimately resigned. Rather than turning to outside leadership to fill the role, Liberty elevated longtime insider and board chairman Jerry Prevo to acting president, ensuring continuity within the same inner circle. Not long afterward, Jonathan Falwell, son of founder Jerry Falwell Sr., and brother of Jerry Falwell Jr., was elevated to the role of university chancellor, reinforcing the continued leadership of the

Starting point is 00:28:46 Falwell family within the institution, despite public claims of reform. According to a March 24 Associated Press article, media concerns intensified after federal investigators find Liberty University a record $14 million in 2024 for Cleary Act violations tied to the mishandling and underreporting of campus crime and sexual violence allegations. The Cleary Act is a law that requires colleges and universities that receive federal funding to collect data on campus crime and notify students of threats. Liberty University's fine remains to be the largest ever levied under the Cleary Act. Amidst investigations, former Liberty University students and whistleblowers described a culture in which administrators allegedly discouraged reporting and

Starting point is 00:29:42 prioritized the university's public image. The 2004 Associated Press article goes on to state, quote, Liberty has marketed itself for years as having one of the nation's safest campuses, with more than 15,000 students enrolled at the school. But its police department had a single officer with minimal oversight for investigating crimes during most of the time period reviewed by federal investigators from 2016 to 2023. The U.S. Department of Education said it identified numerous cases that resulted in the misclassification or underreporting of crimes. And there were several incidents that the university determined to be unfounded,

Starting point is 00:30:27 without evidence the initial report was false, end quote. This continued pattern paints the image of institutions more committed to preserving its internal power structure than demanding meaningful accountability. I'd like to thank Poshmark for sponsoring today's episode. When I first heard about Poshmark, I had no idea that they had such an incredible vintage selection. One of the first pieces I ever bought on there was this amazing 80s vintage skirt. Poshmark is the leading fashion resale marketplace shaped by real people and real style. Millions of new and pre-loved items from daily wardrobe staples to vintage and

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Starting point is 00:32:01 you had reached out and let us know that you had suffered another tragic loss. Do you mind sharing a little bit about what happened with the listeners? Yeah, Sunday, Sergio got out of jail. I think they're released at 5 or 6 a.m. and then exactly one week later at 4 a.m., my kids and I were sleep in my house and I heard a loud crash. It woke me up from a deep sleep. So I wasn't thinking clearly and I just blamed Luna, my great Pyrenees. Anytime a dish breaks or something, it's always her. But this was 4 o'clock in the morning, which makes no logical sense because she will not wake up in the middle of the night. I was like, oh, I'll just think about it in the morning. As I was going back to sleep, I smelled a very, very intense, horrible, horrible smell. It smelled like maybe

Starting point is 00:32:54 plastic was burning. I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs, thinking maybe I could solve whatever was happening. And by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw my kitchen engulfed in flames, the biggest flames I've ever seen. And in that moment, I just thought, we need to get out. This is life or death. None of the smoke detects. detectors went off, which is very alarming, no pun intended. And I just started screaming for my kids. At the bottom of the stairs is the front door. So I was right by the front door. The fire was just so big. I was afraid to go upstairs. I didn't know where the fire was going. So I started screaming for my kids, but I quickly couldn't breathe. The smoke was just overwhelming. So I opened the door so I could

Starting point is 00:33:46 catch my breath. And I remember being so terrified because I couldn't catch my breath and I was trying to do it quickly because I had to keep screaming for my kids. It took so long just to catch my breath. And then I would step back inside and scream at the top of my lungs. And I was screaming for my two dogs and they didn't bark or anything. They weren't coming to me. I didn't know where they were. Luna's usually right in front of my door. And she wasn't there when I ran downstairs. So I was confused because once she lays down, she doesn't really move. A couple times I had to go outside, catch my breath, and then step back in and scream. And I finally heard my daughter say where. And I could tell she was right near me, but we couldn't see each other. She was at the bottom of the stairs.

Starting point is 00:34:40 We were probably two feet away from each other. I couldn't see anything, but I saw a light through the smoke and it was my son's flashlight on his phone. Thankfully, they remembered their phones because I didn't. I just reached in and grabbed one of them. Was there sure one was their arm? And I just pulled them. I said, here. My daughter called 911. Finally, Luna, my great Pyrenees comes prancing up to the door. I just couldn't go inside anymore. But once she went up to the door and I saw her, I was able to pull her out. And then my other dog, I was grieving because I'm like, we lost him. There's no way I could go back in. And the fire department got there within five minutes.

Starting point is 00:35:26 A firefighter rescued my dog, Aussie. So I was so happy about that. This was January 18th. I had shorts, t-shirt, no socks, and this is Virginia. So it was cold, but I didn't feel cold. And my kids were smart. They put on pants and shoes. My next door neighbor saw us outside and had us come into his house and his wife fed us breakfast. I was so, so thankful that they led us into their home and they gave us money. And she helped me find an Airbnb. The firefighters kept coming over to the neighbor's house asking questions. They'd taken pictures of the kitchen to identify like what was on the counter. The whole reason I had, the batteries on the counter is because I felt. felt like I needed to get more batteries for the ring cameras. So you would have the backups?

Starting point is 00:36:19 Yes, I needed to get ones that were cheap. So I got this one from Amazon, which is probably the one. That the fire people said that that probably caused it? Yep, because it was already swelling, but I didn't know anything. It's just strange that the ring camera, the same thing that basically helped convict him, is also the same thing that potentially caused the house fire. Tiffany, do you know I never even considered that? I'm going to be processing this all night.

Starting point is 00:36:50 I really appreciate that you share that observation. I just found it so odd. I have thought over and over again, why were there no batteries in any of the alarms? That is so bizarre to me. I know I've changed them. And it's not like they weren't working. There were no batteries.

Starting point is 00:37:07 Why wouldn't there be dead batteries? Right. a firefighter took us back in our house and we walked through to get the stuff that we absolutely needed, but he told us we couldn't take anything that touched our skin, hair, no hygiene products, like nothing. And then I was like, there's really nothing for me to take. On the side yard was all of this mail and stuff just strewn on the, the yard because when the firefighters were in my kitchen, they used the hose. Things were flown out of the kitchen window. I found like a baked potato on my yard because it had baked in the fire.

Starting point is 00:37:51 All these random fruits and vegetables and pieces of mail because I had all my mail there. And it just made me so angry because it reminded me that I never had privacy in that house, not just from Sergio either. You know, when renovations are happening the day after my fire, it's like the contractor has the code to my door when all of my personal belongings are in there. I got a plastic bag for my car and I start putting everything in it because I don't want my name or my bills and I have a couple of notebooks that I journaled in. Then I find a notebook that was on the ground open to a specific page and on that page was a list. I had made this list months ago and it was a list. It was a everything that I wanted in a house because I didn't feel safe in that house and I really wanted

Starting point is 00:38:46 a house that I felt safe in. This is the crazy thing is that that house fire, it was traumatic. I'm not going to deny that. But that's where people step in and actually restored my faith in humanity. The majority of what I experienced for two years from the time Sergio was arrested and throughout the whole legal process was horrible. Besides for a couple of friends and their support that are out of state and a good neighbor. Other than that, it just felt like everything was taken from me, even financially. With this fire, all of a sudden, people stepped in. A case manager with Red Cross was there by 5 a.m. at my neighbor's house and gave the kids backpacks with stuff in it, hygiene products for each one of us, a whole packet with information and a debit card to use whatever way I wanted to,

Starting point is 00:39:46 except for cigarettes and alcohol. It could be used for the hotel or gas or whatever. So I was able to get a hotel because of that debit card. One of my friends here in town, she immediately came to my neighbor's house and then took me shopping and spent a ton of money on clothing for me and my kids. My next door neighbor immediately came. She was like, Tell me what you need. Claire, of course, immediately sent me money through, I think it was Venmo, and then created the GoFundMe and shared it multiple times. People donated clothing.

Starting point is 00:40:19 Oh my gosh, my kids, friends donated their clothes. When I experience these things, I realized there are good people that actually help and give with no strings attached, which has been rare for me to experience. it moved us out of Lynchburg, which is what I wanted. It healed her heart a little bit to see that there are still people in the world that are good. Here's Claire. Because she really did have so many people, complete strangers, come around her and support her and donate. And as terrible as it was, they are now living somewhere else, which I think is super important.

Starting point is 00:41:06 They were kind of the silver linings in the storm. Do you worry for her safety now that he's out? Honestly, yes. Does it scare me? Am I fearful? Absolutely, which is terrible, especially because I'm so far away. But she's so brave. And she has made some changes in her life that have made her more safe.

Starting point is 00:41:27 And so that makes me really happy. I would love nothing more than for her to leave the stage. But just with her kids in school and everything right now, and sharing custody with her ex. That's not really an option. What do you hope for her for the future? I just hope that she can find as much healing as she possibly can. And I hope that she can find a full sense of safety,

Starting point is 00:41:51 a true supporting group of friends in that area, because I don't feel like she has that. I pray peace over the rest of her life and no more trauma. The fact that she's still such an incredible, loving person, despite everything that's happened, is just such a testament to who she is and her character. Thank you for being such an incredible friend to her. I'm so thankful that she had your support through all of this. Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. This was like such a Twilight Zone moment for me. I introduced her to your podcast. It's funny because I sent her the

Starting point is 00:42:29 podcast and I said, listen to Sarah's story. You're going to be blown away because it reminded me so much of her and her ex-husband. And I was like, you need to go on her podcast for everything that's happened with your ex-husband. The fact that she's had two things in her life happen that could have landed her on this podcast is wild to me. I listen to a lot of podcasts and I know that you truly care about the people that you talk to and I know that you really care about telling their story. That means a lot.

Starting point is 00:43:00 Thank you so much. It's truly an honor. Is there anything specific that you would like listeners to keep in mind when listening to Marie's story? Keep in mind that she did make every effort to reconcile the issue, to get Thomas Road, their leadership in particular, to take it seriously. And it just fell on deaf ears for the most part. Here's Marie's brother. She had done everything in her power to resolve it for her family's safety.

Starting point is 00:43:31 and that has always been of first importance to her. What do you hope for Marie's future? For her to do well and maintain the relationship she has with her kids, but maybe spend more time with the rest of her family from time to time because she does live far from pretty much anyone. How safe do you feel today now that he's out? I feel safe because of me. I had a shift in my mentality because for a long time I didn't feel safe.

Starting point is 00:44:01 safe, but I focus now on my ability to keep me and my children safe. I think this experience changed me for the better. It definitely made me stronger because I gained more and more confidence in myself. One thing that changed significantly during this process was my ability to depend on everything I have internally on learning. that I had learned that drove my beliefs and behavior really restoring my identity because even though Sergio had been arrested, even though I didn't see him for like six years, I finally in the past couple of years recognized slowly the effects his abuse and actually my ex-husband and a lot of people, the effects that they had on my identity.

Starting point is 00:45:01 So there's kind of been a restoration, I guess, of my identity of who I'm supposed to be. And I'm feeling more comfortable with me as I learn more about me. Another thing is this experience made me more aware of patterns and boundaries and how systems work. One thing that's changed also is being more intentional about who I let in my life, where I wasn't very intentional before. I'm extremely intentional now. A lot of times it's lonely, but it's safer and it's more peaceful. What do you want people to understand about stalking? Or what do you feel like people misunderstand about stalking victims and what they experience?

Starting point is 00:45:55 Stalking doesn't usually start in a very expected or obvious way. It can start as just a friendly encounter and then a friendship and then harassment. But it does build up. and I think it's important to recognize the earlier signs. I'll keep going back to boundary violations. I think that is literally the starting point. Another thing is stalking is not just one extreme behavior. It's not just one incident.

Starting point is 00:46:23 It's a pattern that escalates over time. Another misconception, I think, that's very common, is that people who are stalked are afraid for their life and in fear of death or harm. I don't think that's always. always the case. In fact, from people I've talked to you and what I've heard and what I've experienced, people might not actually be that afraid, which is why there's a lot of people that don't get protective orders. Sometimes it takes a while for us to recognize the danger

Starting point is 00:46:54 and to be afraid. So I think it's important. We shouldn't judge a victim's safety based on how the victim is acting. We should judge a victim's safety based on the behavior of the predator. I would also say that stalking is psychological. So does harassment. But especially when the stalking is by someone you trusted or a friend or a family member or a person in a position of authority, it is so confusing. It really had a psychological impact. And I started questioning my own reality and my sense of safety. So even though there were times I felt like I was in danger, I would change my own reality and talk myself out of it and say, no, I knew him for years. And he was always a good person. One thing that really helped me was doing my research. And it's so unfortunate

Starting point is 00:47:49 because I didn't have time for that, but I made time for it. Find other victims that have been through the court process. Document and journal, because there are times if things happen and you're like, that doesn't feel right. You can go back to the journal, find a way to build confidence. We're valuable enough to fight for ourselves and defend ourselves and get justice. My belief in justice and the way I view justice comes from my faith more than the legal system. I think that there's justice, even though I can't fully see it yet. And I don't feel that complete justice was served through the legal process. But I recognize the fact that there was any sentencing for a pastor of Thomas Rhode Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Virginia, I think is very significant. The fact that he received

Starting point is 00:48:47 jail time and it was some type of accountability, which now I know is rare in this community, that is significant. So even though it's not complete justice, there are significant achievements that were made, progress maybe in this town. When I look at the influence involved and the resistance I encountered throughout the whole legal process and the number of people I was up against, it's unbelievable. So that is really what I focus on. It definitely wasn't enough because it didn't feel like full accountability. My faith tells me that the story isn't over just because the court cases.

Starting point is 00:49:30 Absolutely. And justice means something. so different to everyone. It really does. Throughout this season, both with your story and with the other stories, we're covering one of the themes is friendship betrayal, people crossing those boundaries. I'm curious for you what feels unique or nuanced about being betrayed by a friend or a pastor versus like a romantic partner. There is a difference because with friendship betrayal, especially in a situation like this with Sergio's betrayal, he and other people came into my life after my divorce in a position to support me. So there is a level of trust, which is what made

Starting point is 00:50:17 it even harder to recognize. With a romantic partner or a spouse, it's different when you live with them every day. They kind of have more control psychologically. With friendship, like Sergio, I would see him and no, something's not right, but then a few weeks would go by. I would get into my head. It wasn't that bad. And I would just ignore it. And then he comes back in and that's normal friendship. We don't see them every single day. That kind of made it different and very challenging. Friendship betrayal adds a lot of confusion. There's a deep betrayal when someone that you didn't have a romantic connection to deliberately come into your life. and betray you, it almost feels more predatory. I feel like it's almost like in dating, you're expecting to get hurt. And I guess in friendship or especially a relationship with like a pastor or church member,

Starting point is 00:51:15 it seems like to me it would be more surprising. That is such a good point because who goes into friendships expecting it might not work out or expecting that we're going to be hurt or betrayed, especially with Sergio's wife, she was in a position of trust. Why would I not trust a pastor's wife? On top of that, she's a woman. She's a mother, her showing up to support him in the court and her testimony, which is shocking

Starting point is 00:51:46 and very disturbing. The betrayal isn't just to me as a friend, but like as a woman and as a mother. I don't understand how she can be a mother and have complete disregard for the fact that he was in my daughter's bedroom. Even more as a pastor's wife, how can you claim to love God, know God? And as a Christian, you're supposed to abide by God's word and see this situation and see what your husband has done and see the harm that's been done. to me and my children, the narrative that she's giving to people, I can only assume that what she said in court under oath is what she's actually telling people and more. It's just betrayal after betrayal. So if you can imagine one friend betraying you and how harmful that is, now imagine being

Starting point is 00:52:48 betrayed over and over and over again by people that say they support you, have convinced you that they're here to support you, that have convinced you that they're going to advocate for you. That's still betrayal, even if the relationship wasn't super close. We can't thank you enough for being willing to share your story. The fact that you've been willing to continually speak out, despite all of the challenges that you've been navigating over the last few years, it's not lost on me how much you have given and worked to speak out and to advocate for yourself and other stalking victims.

Starting point is 00:53:25 I really appreciate that you gave me and other victims a platform. Telling my story has been part of my healing. Thank you so much to Marie, Claire, and Brendan for their time and energy in this chapter. We are deeply grateful for their advocacy. Chapter 2 will begin airing July 30th. In Chapter 2, we'll meet Survivors, Summer, and Daniel. What began as an ordinary college friendship quickly unraveled into a web of deception, manipulation, and escalating behavior that left an entire community questioning

Starting point is 00:54:06 what was real. Alongside friends and professors, Summer and Daniels slowly uncovered a pattern of lies so elaborate it was almost impossible to believe. But as the truth emerged, the consequences became impossible to ignore. In the meantime, we have some fantastic expert interviews with Dr. Marissa Zagie Franco and Dr. Becca Schwartz-Metta on their research related to friendships, the importance of belonging, and the trauma and recovery from friendship betrayal.

Starting point is 00:54:39 Thank you so much as always for listening. Thank you endlessly to every survivor, guest, and expert who has contributed to our community. We are eternally grateful for your bravery, energy, and time. Something Was Wrong is a Broken Cycle Media

Starting point is 00:54:56 production created and produced by Tiffany Reese. Thank you to our incredible team. Associate producer Amy B. Chessler, audio engineer Becca High, and social media marketing manager, Lauren Barkman. Special thanks to Sarah Stewart for our amazing season 26 artwork, Stephen Wack for ad audio editing, and our partners at Audio Boom. If you love something was wrong and you want to help support the show and listen ad free, become a community contributor on Apple Podcasts, or purchase a sticker from our sticker shop at brokencyclemedia.com. or tell everyone you know like your neighbor sister brother yoga instructor florist telemarketer rakey healer stylist trainer mentor parents cousins aunties unks coaches librarians macha artist dance instructor balloon artist wedding planner bridesmaids bank teller driver dog groomer dentist orthodontist estetician tattoo artist house cleaner accountant tax preparer insurance agent mail carrier crossing guard barista beekeeper notary public lifeguard lifeguard

Starting point is 00:56:00 camp counselor, flight attendant, dog walker, pet sitter, Pilates instructor, spin instructor, tarotor reader, acupuncturist, landscaper, electrician, plumber, contractor, real estate agent, mortgage broker, optometrist, veterinarian, park ranger, farmer's market vendor, little league coach, PTA president, school librarian, substitute teacher, driving instructor, wedding efficient, travel agent locksmith, ferris wheel operator, hot air balloon pilot, llama farmer, falconer, puppeteer, professional mermaid, or that one friend who's somehow just in everyone's business. If you know, you know. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe, friends. Hi, friends, this is Amy B. Chessler. And if you've been loving listening to something was wrong,

Starting point is 00:56:52 you'll definitely want to check out Broken Cycle Media's sister podcast, What Came Next. With more than 170 episodes available, the series explores what happens after Survivor share their stories publicly, diving into healing, justice, advocacy, and the lasting impact of trauma and media exposure. Co-created and co-produced by Tiffany Reese, the show gives survivors a platform to discuss not just what happened, but where life led them next. Follow and listen to what came next wherever you get your podcasts.

Something Was Wrong - S26 Ep5: A Restoration (Chapter 1 Finale)

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