Something Was Wrong - S8 Ep2: Shady

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

*Content warning: emotional abuse, manipulation, workplace abuse, racism, bigotry, gaslighting.  For free mental health resources, please visit SomethingWasWrong.com/ResourcesSupport SWW on Patreon for as little as $1 a monthFollow Tiffany Reese on Instagram Music from Glad Rags album Wonder Under 

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Some names on the podcast have been changed for anonymity purposes. Opinions expressed by guests on the show do not necessarily represent the views of myself, or this podcast. Resources, references, source material, and sponsor info can be found in the episode notes. Thank you so much for listening. Here's Aridian. I had previously mentioned how I had seen, Ben and I had seen Crystal on our like square like downtown area. I was talking to Ben about this and his experience is like different than what I knew what was happening at the time. And I'll, I'll, like, better explain that. What I didn't know at the time that I do know now is Ben had been messaging his brother. He had been trying to figure out if Grant was going with his family so that we could kind of, like, do a meetup and, like, so he could see his brother there. And, like, we could see the baby. And his brother said something like, no, I'm not going. Like, I'm busy or I'm going to be playing video games, something like that. He was at home for whatever. reason. What I hadn't noticed is when we had pulled into the downtown area looking for parking,

I had not seen Crystal's car. I didn't really even recognize her car, but Ben did. So he actually saw her car when we pulled in. And he, while I was looking for parking, he contacted, he like called Grant and said something along the lines of, you, you liar, you're here. Like, why did you fucking lie to me? You liar, like, you told me you weren't going out tonight. It was like something along those lines. And his brother said something like, what are you talking about? I'm not going out tonight.

I'm literally at home playing video games. And instead of saying, oh, well, I see Crystal's car. Ben just kind of went in a different direction and said, but I just thought I saw your truck. And he said, nope, I'm at home. And so from there is when Ben got suspicious because I guess to him, it was like, I know that's her car. I know she's here. And she probably told my brother that she wasn't going or she lied about where she was going,

especially since they have like a small baby, like less than six months old. So as a follow-up, I did ask him just recently why he didn't tell him like, oh, I saw Crystal's car. And he told me it was because he was already really suspicious of her. He just thought she was bad news. And like he really didn't care for her at all. But I think in his eyes this was like the first time where she was doing something sloppy. that he started to catch on to. And in his mind, it was like, well, I'm sure that Moore is going to end up coming out.

And if I go to my brother with this, then it's going to be like, I'm just crying wolf. He'll say, so what? You know, not so what she was out with some guy. But even if he gets upset about it and says, like, whoa, she's not supposed to be doing that, I don't think he would very much appreciate that his brother is putting blame on his girlfriend, that his brother is like suspicious of his girlfriend because in the end, I kind of think that he might see it like it makes him look bad, even if what Ben suspects is true. You think you know me, you don't know me.

I don't know me. The month kind of me you don't know me well. The month kind of went through pretty fast, and we had our first family Christmas. And my family's not very big. It's like me, my brother's and my mom. And we come from not a very, you know, wealthy family at all. So like our Christmases were always very very. small and very, like, intimate. But past my nuclear family, I wasn't used to having, like, a whole

big Christmas thing. And Ben's family invited me for Christmas. And when I got there, Crystal was there as well, of course, with the baby and Grant. And Crystal's mother was there, too. And I thought, this is why I thought Crystal was, like, very integrated into the family because her mom was there. And I thought this was like normal, but Christmas is happening and we're all opening presents. And I just remember Lindsay, Ben's older sister is like, you know, super giddy the whole time. And she's videotaping, like everybody opening their presents. And at one point, she just yells like, Ben, Ben, look alive. Pay attention.

Like, turn around. And we're all like, okay, what's happening? happening or the kids about to open something really exciting. And it was Crystal. She was opening a pair of boots. So she had this giant box of boots and she was opening for her Christmas present. And Grant was like, no, no, keep looking. Keep looking inside of them. And she opens them up. She starts taking stuff out, all the paper stuffing. And there's a ring in there. And so he kneels down and like proposes to her and I just remember seeing like her mom just like crying like happy tears and just being so excited and Lindsay is so excited. Ben on the other hand was not very happy. Like he he was just

like great like they had to do this now. They like ruined our Christmas like now. Now it's all about them. Like, this is so annoying. Like, who proposes on Christmas? And I know lots of people do that. But he's just, that's just the kind of person he is. And I remember, like, even his own mom was so excited. And I just remember watching Crystal.

And, like, when she noticed that that was what was happening, she just, she didn't have any, like, love in her eyes. She didn't have any, like, this is exciting. like this is so sweet, this is so cute. It was just like, this is embarrassing. That's what she looked like she was going through her mind. She was like she had such an insincere smile on her face. And maybe it's just me overthinking it.

But I just remember even watching the video Lindsay took like over and over again. She kept playing it over and over again because she was so happy. but I just remember watching it and just seeing, he just like asked, you know, will you marry me? And she said, like, she may as well have said, I mean, I guess, because that is the way that it looked like it went down in her head. It didn't seem very excited, like, at all. It was really sad to me. She would never let anybody have the baby alone. It seemed like she just didn't trust Grant or like, you know, she had that,

very narrow-minded view that like you see on TV where it's like, oh my God, the dad is such a dope, can't trust him alone with the kid sort of thing. Like he's, he's like a man child. I also remember that Ben's mom had like no time with the baby. Crystal was very adamant about having the baby only with her own mom because her mom had an at-home daycare. And so her mom was the only one that was ever, allowed to really be alone with the baby. And like nobody is talking angrily. They're very, very understanding like, oh my God, she's a new mom. She clearly, you know, just is a little overprotective because that's our first baby. And, you know, she doesn't know us very well, blah, blah, blah. But I didn't think that she was this overprotective mom that they saw just from that interaction we had

with her where she was smoking a cigarette and the baby is like alone in the car. I personally think that the reason she was keeping everybody like at bay, but also like integrating herself. I think it was a little bit of multiple things. Personally, like I'm clearly not a professional or a doctor or anything by any means, but I think it was a control thing. Like I am in control of this. situation. I'm in control of these relationships. Now that I have a child, I'm even more in control. Also, being the center of the love and attention. Here's Aridian's friend and previous co-worker, Amber. Crystal did talk about the fact that her mother watched her daughters. And we used to be really concerned for her because Crystal said her mother was an alcoholic and had abused her.

And me and my other coworker who we were much closer had talked about it a lot of times. Like are we, are we like, should we report this? Like are we obligated? We've told Crystal our fears, but she doesn't really seem to get it. Like her mom doesn't only watch her baby, but she watches a bunch of other people's kids who aren't their family. And Crystal tells us that she's drinking every day. And we decided that it's none of our business because of the fact that we didn't have any

proof that kids were in danger. You know, we didn't want to, we didn't want to raise the roof or, or blow anything out a portion that could have long-term ramifications on people's, you know, how they, how they finance their lives and there will be. Here's Aridian. During this whole time, 2016, 2017, Ben and I were co-workers. We had been co-workers for a really long time. We worked at, it was a movie theater, but our boss,

passed away. And it was very, it was very sad. And I just remember, like, he took it pretty hard. And in the end, like, I saw our boss as, like, a little bit of a mentor. And I took it pretty hard also. But, like, within a week of our boss's death, Ben's grandpa passes away also. And like I mentioned, Ben, it's been his sister and his brother and his mom. His dad is very much alive. But he, He's not as close with his father. So his granddad was his father figure. And so when his grandpa passed away, it was, it hit him even harder. And the reason I mentioned, like, our boss passing away is I personally think like,

it just made it so much worse. Like, it was just like a bigger hit. His grandparents had a house in Arizona. So his family, their plan was, we're going to have a memorial service in Arizona. We'd love it if ever. came and just celebrated with us his life and helped clear out grandma's house. And I had never been on a plane before. And I've never had money to go on an airplane ride or anything like that. And Lindsay said, don't worry, I've got this. I will get everyone's plane tickets. You, Ben, Grant,

Crystal, the baby and her mom. We had planned to all go together. And this was the plan all these months, when this week comes around, Crystal says, oh, I'm sorry, I can't make the trip. Like, I'm just not going to go. The plane tickets already paid for. And, you know, maybe for some people, that's not a lot of money. But for me, that's a lot of money. It was just very surprising to me that she was just not going to go. She said, like, yeah, I got this new job.

And Ben was just, like, of all the weeks for her to get a. a new job. She decided this weekend was going to be the most appropriate. It was very, like, unthoughtful, I think. And not to mention just the money and like, like being insensitive to that. It was like she wasn't even going to be there for her for her own husband. Well, I guess not her husband, her fiance at the time. Her ticket just like went to waste. And we all went together. And we took the baby, which was like, I was. surprised because, you know, like I mentioned earlier, she was very like, I am very protective. I'm a new mom.

I don't really want her to be far away from me for that long, that sort of thing. But she was like, go for it. Take the baby. I don't care. I'm going to be busy. Here's Aridian. Between the time of the memorial and their wedding, which was kind of like closer to the fall, I didn't see any red flags.

The main thing that I noticed was when her bridal shower came about. I remember she had bridesmaids, but like nobody had planned her bridal shower. And I just remember Lindsay being like, what kind of friends do you have? Why aren't they planning anything for you? Like, let's celebrate you. This is exciting. Like, let's do this. And Crystal was just like, oh, you know, everyone's too busy.

Like, I don't want to make a big fuss. I don't want to be a burden to anybody. And so Lindsay was like, uh, fuck that. You're getting married. This is so exciting. Let's all plan everything. And so she went out and rented like the upstairs of a, of this cute little restaurant downtown. Well, when we get there, it's like, I'm the youngest person there.

Well, I'm always the youngest person there. But her girlfriends weren't there, like at all. None of her bridesmaids were there. even like, I think she had like cousins or something as bridesmaids like they weren't there. It was just her maid of honor who was very pregnant at the time. So it was just like really strange because she had no friends there. Maybe that's not so much of a red flag, but I felt bad for her. And I just remember Lindsay felt bad for her.

She was like, she's got awful friends. When they got married in the fall, it was a beautiful ceremony, you know. Like it was a very normal wedding. I wasn't in the wedding. But of course, like, I'm new to the family. Besides the wedding party and Grant's friends, there were, there was nobody else that seemed to be like, oh, Crystal's girlfriends are here. Or like, even some guy friends, like, no, not even like the gentleman that she was hanging out downtown with was there. Like, I just remember family.

So around this time, 2018-ish, at one point Crystal is driving around a new car. And I just remember Ben saying she said she got that car for free. Some older gentleman from her work gave it to her. And we were like, who gets a free car? Like, how did she do that? And I remember she was driving it around for a while and then like one day he was gone. And like she just said like the guy. wanted his car back, so she had to give it back. And we were like, that's, that's a little sketchy.

Okay. Then like months later, Grant, I can't remember if he was out of town or he was just at work. And she said that someone robbed their house. But she claimed that someone was in their home, that she went into her house and saw the person that was robbing them run away out the back door and jumped the fence. And she mentioned that she saw that person leaving as she was entering the house. And because she saw them, she said that that person looked just like Ben. And I just remember Ben was like furious because she was starting to like try and pit the family against each other in a sense.

Like she just said, I don't know. I'm not saying anything. but that guy looked a lot like Ben and this and that is missing from my home and I that person doesn't live here so I know we were being robbed. And from what Ben tells me, I guess the things that went missing were her medication, which is very strange. And like some things that like aren't valuable or something, I can't remember everything, but I definitely remember that the main thing that they mentioned was her medication. And I don't even know what kind of medication that would have been.

But Ben was so angry. I just remember he was working when this all happened. And Ben's family group chat was like blowing up while he was working. And everyone was like, wait, that person looked like Ben? Like, Ben, do you know anything about this? What's going on? Like, where are you? Like, why can we not get a hold of you?

and he like eventually answers. And he's like, guys, I'm, I'm like barely going to lunch. What is happening? And I guess like she brought up that someone robbed their home multiple times. It wasn't just one time. It was just one time that she said it looked like Ben. But it was multiple times that she said, oh, my God, someone robbed our house. I think it was like two or three times total, which is like that just doesn't, I'm sure it happens.

I'm sure it does. in this area, if you're going to get robbed, it's not going to be twice or three times. Unless someone has a personal vendetta against you, you're not going to keep getting robbed. These supposed robberies were happening within a few months of each other. Like within a few months of each other, if not all in 2018, then like maybe one in 2019. Ben would go over to see his brother a lot. He would just like randomly stop by their home, grab a beer, like watch TV, play video games sort of thing.

And they had a very close relationship. Before the robberies happened, the, you know, supposed robberies happened. I guess Ben mentioned they were talking about someone that they went to school with, some random person that I don't even know. And he said, Ben said something along the lines of, oh, I don't care for that person. That person's a narc. I don't know anything about them.

And I just remember he's mentioned this to me before multiple times because in his mind, he, not even in his mind, it's probably true, but that's where he connects. That's where she started turning on him is when he made that comment. And it wasn't so much that it was directed at her, but in her mind, it was probably directed at her because that is a rumor that has always been around. and has always kind of haunted her. After like that initial robbery and things like that, I was still working at that movie theater that Ben and I met at.

And you see everyone come through here. Like you, everyone was going through that theater. Like I think I would see someone I knew at some point in the day on the daily. It just so happens to be that I ran into Amber. Amber is someone that I actually worked with at one point at a second job. But I just remember when I ran into her at the theater where I was working, she had this, like, amazing new job. And I was just very happy to see her. I had seen her on social media a lot and like either her engagement or her wedding or something.

And that she was really buddy buddies with Crystal at this time. And I didn't really think anything of it. It was just very like, oh my God, hey, how are you? Let's catch up some time. Here's Amber. I actually ran into Eridian at, I think we're in the movie theaters, and we caught up really quick, talked about, you know, where I was working, where she was working. And she brought up that her sister-in-law actually worked for the same temp company. And I was like, no, we, get out of here. And she was like, yeah, our name's Crystal. Do you know her? And I was like, I actually do know a Crystal who works for the same temp agency. That's crazy. Like, Crystal and I got really close. As my wedding approached, she started volunteering to, like, go shopping with me. and stuff. There were like a lot of crafts for the wedding. So everybody knew on Thursday nights. My girlfriends would come over and we'd work on the bouquets and work on seating charts and

stuff. And so Crystal started interjecting herself into like my personal life, offering to help of stuff for my wedding. When about a week before my wedding, Crystal, another co-worker and my best friends threw me a surprise bachelor at party. And it was really, really wonderful. the day before the wedding, one of my friends, she called to tell me that she wouldn't be able to make it because, oh, she just found out she was pregnant. But I was really disappointed and it kind of threw off our numbers. And Crystal said, you know, everybody already took off the whole day for your wedding? I'd love to be in your wedding to, you know, I know you just need to balance out the numbers. And so of course, I was like, oh my gosh, like that would be so wonderful. Like I don't want it to be weird. I don't want to put any pressure on. you. But, you know, the day before my wedding and somebody canceled, I just thought, this girl's been

so wonderful. Like, when I look back on planning my wedding, she's going to be such a big part of that, especially towards the end where, I don't know if you're married or you've been married, but when it gets to crunch time, that's really when you need your people the most. And so she ended up being in my wedding. And it was so sad because I had worked at the tub company for about two years. And I made, I'd met a lot of really wonderful people, but I'd made friends with two people who, they were in leadership as well with the TEM company. And I'm still friends with them, very good friends with them to this day. And I quit the TEP agency about a week before my wedding. It was just too busy.

I'd had some big offers from this other company. And so I had invited those two people to my wedding. My wedding was pretty small and private. But I had invited the rest of our leadership team, my boss and the rest of the TLs, to the after-partyer, to the rest. reception, nobody came. My two really close friends didn't even come to my wedding. And I was heartbroken. In that week, she had gone to work almost every single day and told people terrible lies, like things like I hated them. I only invited them to my wedding to be nice. And now that I didn't have to work with them, I didn't want to be nice anymore, every single day. And I didn't, I'd just let it go. And then, a couple months after quitting the temp agency

and starting to work for the bigger company, Crystal had reached out to me and she had asked me if I knew any place within the bigger company that was hiring. And I told her, yeah, actually, my department is hiring.

Here's the website and everything. You can apply and use my name. So she did. She got the job. She started working in the same building as me and immediately like just stopped talking to me completely. Like we'd been walking past each other and I was like, hey,

and she just didn't respond. And I remember being like, that is the shadiest. Like, I'm not one to like get upset about other people not liking me. I genuinely don't care because I like me. And if you have a problem with me and you care about me, I expect you to come to me. If you're just going to ignore me, you can fuck off.

Here's Aridian. And so around summertime is when Crystal mentioned her job to me. And this just. happen to be the same job that Amber had. Sorry, at the same location, not so much the same job. There is a big corporation in our area. And because it is so big, there are so many jobs related to that corporation here, including call center jobs like customer service and tech.com sort of jobs. Crystal at like a family get together, she mentioned to me, my job is high. hiring. Do you want a new job? And I just remember like, we need better pay right now. We are like going

through stuff with our roommates or like they had just moved out something like that. And we are thinking of buying our house. So of course, I need, I need a job. And she said, I'm going to help you get a job because if you get hired because of me, then we both get like $50 or like $100 or or something. I asked her about it so many times and she just said, oh, I'll get back to you. And like, oh, I'm going to have to ask again if we're still hiring. Like, I'm not really sure. And eventually she got to the point where she, instead of helping me, she just sent me the link to the corporation's career page instead of sending me the information so that she could get the money for referring me.

She told me about it, like, oh, I have this thing that you want that I can help with. But instead of following through, it was like she just turned into this flaky person. Like, oh my God, I didn't think she was going to take me up on that. I just felt like she didn't want me hired there. And I was like, I don't understand. Next time. All of her lies were about to come crashing down. Who does that?

I can't even fathom that. immediately she sent me snaps being like you don't know who you're fucking with bitch I'll end you crazy stuff You think you know me you don't know me well at all Something Was Wrong is produced and hosted by me Tiffany Reese music on this episode from Gladrags Check out their album Wonder Under

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