Something Was Wrong - S8 Ep3: Double Life

Episode Date: April 4, 2021

*Content warning: emotional abuse, manipulation, workplace abuse, racism, bigotry, gaslighting. For free mental health resources, please visit SomethingWasWrong.com/Resources Support SWW on Patreon for as little as $1 a month Follow Tiffany Reese on Instagram  Music from Glad Rags album Wonder Under 

If you're serious about growing this new year, what you put into your mind actually matters. And as someone who lives and breathes careers and self-development, even I get overwhelmed trying to do it all. Between work, life, and trying to better yourself, self-care can start to feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But investing in yourself doesn't have to be complicated. And with Audible, it isn't. It's time to take care of you. And who better to help than the top voices in well-being all in one place. With Audible's Well-Being Collection, you can level up your career, finances, relationships,

sleep, parenting, or mindset. Whether you want motivation, clarity, or practical advice, there is something there to support you every step of the way. I listen while I commute, clean, work, or just when I need a little bit of downtime. You'll hear from best-selling authors Brene Brown and Jay Shetty, Chef Jamie Oliver, finance expert Rachel Rogers and popular parenting guides like raising good humans.

Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audio book free when you sign up for a 30-day trial at outtable.com. Membership is 1495 a month after 30 days. Cancel any time. There's more to imagine when you listen. Oh, hey, how's it going?

Amazing. I just finished paying off all my debt with the help of the credit counseling society. Whoa, seriously? I could really use their help. It was easy. I called and spoke with it. the credit counselor right away. They asked me about my debt, salary, and regular expenses,

give me a few options, and help me along the way. You had a ton of debt. And you're saying credit counseling society helped with all of it? Yep. And now I can sleep better at night. When debt's got you, you've got us. Give credit counseling society a call today. Visit no more debts.org. Something was wrong is intended for mature audiences. Episodes discuss topics that can be triggering, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, suicide, and murder. I'm not a therapist or a doctor. If you're in need of support, please visit something was wrong.com slash resources for a list of nonprofit organizations that can help.

Some names on the podcast have been changed for anonymity purposes. Opinions expressed by guests on the show do not necessarily represent the views of myself, or this podcast. Resources, references, source material, and sponsor info can be found in the episode notes. Thank you so much for listening. Here's Aridian. At that time, I graduated with my associates at our community college and it was like such a wonderful experience and Lindsay, Ben's sister, got so excited and like, she was like, let's celebrate you. This is wonderful. Ben's mom was, so proud. Like she at that point was like you are like my daughter and I'm so proud of you and my parents got together and my grandparents were in town on their visa like coming from out of the

country and they like came to have dinner with us. And I just remember Crystal throwing the biggest fit because everyone was celebrating my graduation. And, she was just saying like, well, no one celebrated my graduation and I got two associates degrees and she only got one. And this was not around me or Ben at all. This was in front of Lindsay and Ben's mom and she was just visibly angry. And then I guess at one point Lindsay was like, Grant, what is going on? Like, why is she so angry? And he was like, well, you guys don't care about her.

You guys didn't even celebrate her graduation. And Lindsay was just, she just said, when did she graduate? Like, did we even know her? And Grant just said, well, no, this was before you guys met her, but you didn't bother celebrating her. And I just remember Lindsay being like, we didn't know her then? How are we supposed to know to celebrate her? Was it like a year before we met her? And he was like, I don't know, it was time sometime before.

And she said, well, were you expecting us to backtrack a life moment, a big milestone in her life just because we didn't celebrate it, because we didn't know her. And him and Crystal in the end were like, oh, whatever. Like, you guys are just thinking we're being dramatic. Grant and Crystal were so salty about it. And it got to the point where they were like, well, we're not going. And Lindsay was like, good, don't go then. You're not invited.

And my mom was like, that's rude. You have to invite everyone. So, because my mom said so, I texted Crystal and said, hey, if you would like, we're having a family dinner and I would love it if you guys came. Of course, you know, the baby to everybody, grant you, everyone. And we can just celebrate together. And she said like, oh my God, I'm so happy for you. I will definitely be there. I'll make sure we're all there.

We're going to celebrate you, blah, blah, blah. And it was like completely different from what how they were being towards Lindsay and Ben's mom. I just told Ben like, wait until I graduate with my bachelor's. She's not going to like that. Like I was like, this is just my associates. I'm still in school. So from there, like things were just so salty. That's when I really saw that shift.

I do know me I don't know me well I do think you think that it was like looking back on it was that it was that it was that narcissism coming out and like I don't want people to like her more or like them more as a couple. And then came a time where in like October-ish, we went to one of the children's birthday parties. I think I just got out of work or something,

but I'm really tired. I'm like, I just went there because I want, I want to be a part of the kids' lives. And Ben was already there. So, you know, I'm trying to be this aunt figure for the children. Everyone was there. and I just remember Crystal's daughter was very upset. She was just like crying the whole time and she's very little.

She was just getting so frustrated because her daughter was loud and the youngest and crying and she couldn't get her to sit still. I just remember that at one point I knocked over like a whole bowl of chips onto myself and it was really embarrassing and like it got in my hair and everything. and I just remember that the one person that like genuinely laughed at me was Crystal. And she just sat in front of me like a cartoon and she pointed at me. And she just laughed so hard. Like she was genuinely enjoying the fact that I was embarrassed or that something bad happened to me. Like I know that that's like reading into something quite a lot. But it was so taunting.

And it was like reminded me of. like an elementary school bully. Like she was having such a good time that I was embarrassed and that I was a mess and oh my God, those chips were so greasy that they stained everything I was wearing. And I just think that speaks even more to who she is as a person, even if I am reading a little bit too much into it. If you're serious about growing this new year, what you put into your mind actually matters. And as someone who lives and breathes careers and self-development, even I get overwhelmed trying to do it all. Between work, life, and trying to better yourself, self-care can start to feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But investing in yourself

doesn't have to be complicated. And with Audible, it isn't. It's time to take care of you. And who better to help than the top voices in well-being all in one place? With Audible's Well-Being collection, you can level up your career, finances, relationships, sleep, parenting, or mindset. Whether you want motivation, clarity, or practical advice, there is something there to support you every step of the way. I listen while I commute, clean, work, or just when I need a little bit of downtime. You'll hear from best-selling authors Brene Brown and Jay Shetty, Chef Jamie Oliver, finance expert Rachel Rogers, and popular parenting guides like Raising Good Humans. Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audio book free when you sign up for a 30-day trial at

Audible.com. Membership is 1495 a month after 30 days. Cancel any time. There's more to imagine when you listen. So I ended up getting hired at the contact center, at the call center where Crystal worked at. We technically didn't work together because she worked with the temp agency and I worked with the actual corporation. However, her desk was right by the train. room. In my head, I'm naive. I'm like, it's my sister-in-law. Like, I have this sister connection. Yeah, sisters are probably shitty sometimes, but in the end, we're family. And that's how I saw it. So we had this, like, unspoken, like, connection where we were like, oh my God, hey girl, come to my desk, come say hi to me, sort of thing for a little bit. It was not very long. But around the family,

she was still like low-key kind of mean to me. And I could tell she was still like looking for reasons to talk bad about me and Ben behind her backs. But I just kind of chose to ignore that. When I got hired on by the company, what they do is they'll put you in a room with a whole bunch of people that got hired on and they'll train everybody and everybody is getting trained. So Crystal's desk was right by the training room right next to it. I just remember she moved desks at one point. And I don't know if maybe she was trying to like listen in or what, because these rooms are not real rooms. You're in this giant tin building that's like a warehouse. And then the rooms are literally just divided by like cubicle walls. So her, her desk was right by our training room. And I remember I made a couple of friends when I was in training. One of the one of the ones. One of the one of the ones. One of the one of,

of them being this guy named Zachary. And he had worked for the company previously. And so he knew everything about like how how everything worked. I didn't know at the time why he had left the company, but I guess he had left the temp agency at one point. And then when I got hired on, he got hired on by the company as well. Well, being that he came from the temp agency, I guess he knew Crystal. And they were friends like at some point. So one day in passing, I came to say hi to Crystal and she noticed that I was all buddy buddies with Zachary. And she just said to me, hey, watch out for that person. That person is a pathological liar. You shouldn't trust anything that comes out of their mouth. They lie and they steal. They've stolen things from me. And in my head,

I'm going, oh my God, what did he steal? Like, what happened? And she just said, oh, I just, I can't get into it. I don't want drama. I can't get into it. He just stole like a charger or something. She was like, I don't even remember. He stole something from my car. Now that I'm asking questions, she doesn't have answers. But she's telling me, don't trust this person. I know him. Don't trust him. And I just left it at that because I don't know anybody and I've noticed that I tend to trust a little too easily. I just stayed friends with Zachary and I was like, okay, I just won't talk to him about you or anything like that. And I really do think that was the intention was to keep us either from being friends or from discussing things a little too closely. Well, I guess at one point

Zachary and I and a couple of other co-workers were going on our breaks and I stopped by Crystal's desk to say hi. Zachary had come up to us. I thought he came for me, but turns out he actually had come to speak to Crystal to say hi to her because they hadn't yet connected since he'd been back. I just, you know, had a conversation with both of them and then we left for our break. and Zachary just kind of mentioned to me like, oh my God, I didn't know you were friends with Crystal. And I just said something like, yeah, I'm not really friends with her. She's just family a little bit, you know. How do you guys know each other?

And Zachary was like, oh, we used to be friends when we used to work together. And we dropped it because I remember her saying don't trust him. And I just felt really awkward because I was like, this person seems pretty trustworthy. So I dropped it. Here's Arridian's friend and previous co-worker, Zachary. At this point, Crystal and I hadn't really talked since that night. Like, we had been on Snapchat, like, we had Snapchat at each other back and forth a couple times. But it was never really like conversation.

Like, it was just kind of like, here's what I'm doing today sort of thing. And when I went back, that's when I met Arridian. Her and I were in the same training class my second time around. So Arrida and I started. kind of become friendly and about three, four days in, I had seen Crystal and went to her desk and had said hi to her and all these different things. So her and I started talking again, like on my breaks and whatever. One of our breaks, I went over there and Oridian was talking to her. And I was blown back because I didn't know that she knew her. They stopped talking. I said,

Hey, Crystal, how you do? And then talk to her for a second. And then we always went outside. Anytime that you could get sunshine, it was kind of a, you know, you grabbed what you could get. And so we went outside and I was like, oh, so how do you know Crystal? And she said, oh yeah, her husband is my brother-in-law. So of course, as a normal person who was raised decently, I said, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for your loss. And she said, what are you talking about?

And she laughed and was like, I don't know what you're talking about. and when I tell you it blew my mind like when they show like the mind blown gift it doesn't even compare like here's Eridian I actually don't remember this this part of the interaction very much he actually remembers it a lot better than me

because in my eyes like we were joking about something turns out he was telling me me something that I didn't know about Crystal. And like we're working there for like a few months together, you know, from August to January. And I've run into a girl that I actually went to school with. I think I was on a break. And so she was walking in. And this girl like said, Aridion, like, is that you?

And I go, yeah, who are you? And she said, I'm so and so. We went to school together and it was just this very sweet interaction. And I was like, oh my God, I did not even recognize you. I'm like, you know, you look amazing. Look at you. You're such a grown up. I was just like looking for a good way to like for us to interact, I guess, like a conversation.

And I was like, I've seen you around the building and I didn't even realize that was you. I was like you, I think you've been working with Crystal, right? You work with Crystal. And she's like, Crystal who? Like, I don't know. and I said, you know, Crystal, so-and-so. And she was like, oh, you mean the one who's like husband passed away? And I was like, what?

No, no, Crystal, like this crystal. And she goes, yeah, like her husband died, didn't he? And I was like, no, I think we're talking about different people. And she was like, oh, yeah, like we probably are. We probably are thinking of two different people. And then she said, no, wait, wait, wait, is it the crystal that's dating Wilson? And I'm like, no, that's not her. Like, that couldn't be.

I bet you're still thinking of like a different crystal. Like that name is pretty common. And she was like, okay, yeah. She's like, oh, well, you know. And then we're like talking. And she comes back with like, oh, my God, wait, Crystal, she has a little daughter, right? Her daughter named Daisy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's her.

That's my sister-in-law. And she goes, oh, well, okay, I still think we're thinking of different people because the Crystal, I know, her husband actually passed away. So I think we're talking about different people. We basically just decided, like, between the two of us that we were genuinely just talking about different people. Closer to Christmas time, I decided that. I'm going to give Crystal and Grant a present for Christmas. And my present was I had taken a picture

of Crystal's daughter, Daisy, and I was just going to go ahead and, like, edit it really beautiful and put it on a stretch canvas for them for Christmas. And so I did that. I fixed up this really cute picture that I took of her daughter, and I got it all pretty, and I was so proud of it. I was showing all my coworkers this photo that I did. And one coworker that just so happened to be a desk behind mine, she noticed the picture. And she said, oh, my God, I know that little girl. She's like, why do I know that little girl? And I said, oh, that's my sister-in-law's daughter. That's Daisy. My sister-in-law actually works right over there. And she was like, okay, sure. And I remember her asking me very randomly.

Like, I don't know if it was the next day or just a couple hours later, but she asked me if my boyfriend was white. And I was like, yeah, he's pretty white because I'm not. And she wasn't. And we usually would speak Spanish to each other. And so she goes, okay, interesting. And then I was like, okay. And we left about that.

And like, the next day, She comes up to me and says like, hey, listen, I know it was weird that I asked you if your your boyfriend was white, but the reason I asked that is because you said that Crystal is your boyfriend's sister-in-law, right? Like, she's married to your boyfriend's brother. And I said, yeah, yeah, that's it. And she said, well, the person that I know that she's with is not white. He's like a person of color. I was like, okay. I don't know anything about that. And she goes, so your boyfriend's white and his brother is white?

And I'm like, yes, we've been over this. Everybody is white. And she just said something like, is your boyfriend's brother alive then? And I'm like, yeah, he's alive. Like, he's literally probably at work right now. Like, he's very alive. And she goes, okay, well, I don't want to be the one to tell you this, but I will.

Crystal told us all that her husband actually passed away. She actually told us all that he died. And she literally has a boyfriend. Like her boyfriend works right over there. His name is Wilson. And I just like, that was just such a shock to me. I was like, what is happening? Who says that?

It seemed like she just found out something like she was watching a soap opera. Like, I can't believe this. I don't even remember how I felt at that time because I just was like, this is really weird. Who does that? I can't even fathom that. And in my own mind, I kind of just thought that maybe this girl was making this up because that's something really hard to lie about. and it's really hard to keep up with.

But I just kind of marinated on that for a little bit. You know, I just like kept it in the back of my mind throughout the day. And when I got home and I didn't even tell Ben immediately, days later, this girl came back up to me and she had mentioned it to her friends, the other girls that had worked with Crystal. And I guess they were all like flipping out about this because it was news. When I eventually decided to tell Ben, I remember that I didn't mention Wilson. He just said, yeah, it's probably because she's dating someone there.

Or it's probably because she's having an affair. Here's Aridian's friend and previous co-worker Amber. Yeah, everybody knew that Crystal was dating Wilson. And she had been, so Crystal had actually, she had worked at this place before. And it was said that she had had an accident. Once she healed and was healthy again, they allowed her to come back and have the job again. But she was dating Wilson before. So when she came back, it just made sense that they started dating again.

They were both supposedly single. I mean, they took lunch breaks together every day. they would try to set up threesome people at work, at the temp agency or at the larger corporation, because it's in the same building to the point where like it was a known thing. Like if you're, if you want to do that, just approach them. They're that couple. Here's Zachary. It was common knowledge that Crystal and Wilson were running game on other.

girls to like have threesomes together. But they were for sure together together and like he was buying her like bags and shoes and paying for her phone bill and like telling me all kinds of stuff about like he was, he's taking me out to dinner and you know I got to make sure that I do him real well so he'll buy me what I want for my birthday. Here's Eridian. Around this time, like, I started finding out a little bit more and more about all the lies that she had told. She, I guess, had told some coworkers that her daughter had a brain injury and was needing brain surgery. And I kept going back and forth because I'm like, maybe there's something I don't know. Maybe, you know, they're keeping this a secret.

from Ben and I, maybe it's true. Like, maybe there's rumors mixed in with the truth. I don't know. But one day, I pulled Lindsay aside at a family dinner that Crystal was not at. Crystal and Grant were not there. And I asked Lindsay, has Crystal ever been married before? And Lindsay was like, no, I don't think so. And I asked her, okay, has Crystal ever had brain surgery before?

And she said, not that I know of, but I don't know her. I guess I haven't known her for that long. And then I asked her, has Daisy had brain surgery? Is Daisy okay? And she said, yeah, she's totally fine. Why are you asking me these things? That's weird. And I just told her there's these rumors going around at work.

And I think I may have stumbled upon something that I didn't mean to. Come to find out, Crystal has this, like, weird double life. work. If you're serious about growing this new year, what you put into your mind actually matters. And as someone who lives and breathes careers and self-development, even I get overwhelmed trying to do it all. Between work, life, and trying to better yourself, self-care can start to feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But investing in yourself doesn't have to be complicated. And with Audible, it isn't. It's time to take care of you. And who better to help than the Top voices and well-being all in one place.

With Audible's Well-Being Collection, you can level up your career, finances, relationships, sleep, parenting, or mindset. Whether you want motivation, clarity, or practical advice, there is something there to support you every step of the way. I listen while I commute, clean, work, or just when I need a little bit of downtime. You'll hear from best-selling authors Brene Brown

and Jay Shetty, Chef Jamie Oliver, finance expert Rachel Rogers, and popular parenting guides like Raising Good Humans. Kickstart your well-being journey with your first audiobook free when you sign up for a 30-day trial at outable.com. Membership is 1495 a month after 30 days. Cancel any time. There's more to imagine when you listen. Here's Zachary. So at first, I wanted to really, before I went to Oridian and like just fully let everything out of the bag,

I did want to do some of my own research first and was very Sherlock Holmes about it if I do say so myself and went to Aridian and was like hey what is your brother-in-law's name and da-da-da-da-da and found him on Facebook of course found more evidence in this entire time I'm being like dude it's real like this whole this

crazy literally lied to us for six months telling us this whole thing about how destroyed she is and how this whole situation has been so tough for her and her child and everything like her talking about how awful her in-laws were to her and how they just hated her because they felt like that she should have died instead of him like when I say she went into so much deep like she literally was saying stuff like that about she would be like, I hate sending my daughter to my in-laws because I really feel like they blame me for his death and like wish that I had died instead of him. And they just, they don't understand that I'm the one who's going through this. When I tell you, her and I had conversations about this, I mean ours.

I was a real friend to her. Like, she would literally call me sobbing, being like, my in-laws are so evil. They don't understand me. We talked about her struggles with her daughter after her husband's death about how her mom was so evil, even though, like, real, I thought, real friends. So, of course, real friends go into real detail. But she literally had this so done out that everything that anyone could ask or she had an answer for. Every detail. Here's Arridian.

I decided I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I'm going to do some sleuthing. I texted Zachary and said, Hey, I just have like a super quick question for you. Has Crystal ever mentioned her husband to you? I have screenshots of everything. He said, yeah, she actually mentioned to me that he had passed away, but like that's it. And I go, okay, thanks for letting me know.

The conversation ended. And I told Ben, you know, like got him up to date on everything. And then the next day I walked up to Zachary again. And I said, hey, the reason why I'm asking you this is because Crystal apparently has been lying about her husband. And this is not true. Her husband's alive. And I'm really sorry to tell you this. but I think maybe she didn't want us to be friends and figure it out because she told me that

I wasn't supposed to trust you for whatever reason. And now that just tells me a lot about maybe why she didn't want us to be friends. And he just said, yeah, I really, really don't appreciate that she said I was not trustworthy. We used to be best friends. this is what I know. He told me like a very, very vague thing. Like her husband passed away and she's dating Wilson. Again, I'm hearing Wilson's name for like the 20th time. Turns out he was actually piecing everything together on his own and didn't even say it because he didn't really know me that well and didn't really know what was safe to say or not. So when he noticed that I had no clue, he just didn't say anything. He was like, I'm staying.

my own lane. This is not my business. And so we ended our conversation and I went home. Here's Zachary. When I feel betrayed by someone that I've had such loyalty for, already I'm the type of person that if you come for me, I'm coming for your jugular because I don't mess around with foolishness. So, add on top of that me being hurt by this person that I thought it was my friend

I probably did some things that I don't regret because she deserved it but I just want to throw that out there it was not like a thought out decision of what happened after this so I lost it

I put a Snapchat story up would you like me to read it to you I would love it. Can you read it in like the voice that you wrote it in? Girl. I was a little buzz at the time. I don't know I can read it out all the way, but I'll try. I said, imagine telling someone that I'm the liar, even though you're the one who lied saying your husband is dead and being a two-bit ho, sleeping with a man and saying that you're just staying with him because he buys you things. Can't relate. You're going lie on me, I think not, hon. Try again next time. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 with your broke ass, taking money from your husband, mama. Don't come for the queen unless she's sinned for you. Can you talk about her reaction to your post and what you, and what followed after that?

There was a phone call. There was Snapchats. There was three text messages that were, when I say they were freaking encyclopedias, it's not even, I'm not joking. Immediately she sent me snaps being like, you don't know who you. you're fucking with bitch i'll end you like crazy stuff then a phone call with her screaming at me being like do you know what you've done you don't understand what you like going off

and so i went off on her it was probably an hour and a half conversation of just straight yelling between her and i back and forth and then text messages of her calling me every name in the book that you can think of homophobic, everything, everything that you can think of.

I got called. It was pretty vile, so I blocked her number and I've never spoken to her again. Here's Aridian. She started, like, blowing up my phone saying, hey, like, how are you?

And since I didn't respond, she texted again within the hour saying, are you friends with Zach, who is steady, bashing me right now. Like I saw a post he made and someone else has been telling me some things that he's saying about me. He's trying to cause a lot of problems for me right now.

Next time. You think you know me, you don't know me well at all. Something Was Wrong is produced and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese. Music on this episode from Gladrags. Check out their album, Wonder Under. If you'd like to help support. the growth of something was wrong, you can help by leaving a positive review, sharing the podcast with your family, friends, and followers, and support at patreon.com slash something was wrong. Thank you so much for listening.