Something You Should Know - Are We Killing English or is It Just Evolving? & How to Make Big Changes Easier

Episode Date: March 28, 2019

Springtime means the return of annoying allergy symptoms for a lot of us. I begin this episode with some simple but very effective techniques that can help minimize the suffering from allergies and they come from a top allergist. http://www.forbes.com/sites/melaniehaiken/2013/03/20/allergy-alert-worst-allergyseason-ever/ If the English language is constantly evolving then what is “proper English”? Should you judge people if they use the language differently from you? Is it okay if someone says, “Let me axe you a question?” These are some of the things I discuss with Anne Curzan, professor of English, linguistics and education at the University of Michigan and host of a series of online courses at The Great Courses (https://www.thegreatcourses.com/professors/anne-curzan/) After listening to her, you may look at the language in a very different light. Should kids question authority or follow the rules? As a parent, you would like them to behave but if you look at the effect it has on their future income as adults, you may change your mind. Listen as I explain some fascinating research into this. http://www.businessinsider.com/kids-personality-salary-money-science-study-2016-3 We all know that making changes is hard even when those changes are exactly what we need. So is there a way to approach change to make it easier? Yes, according to Gregg Clunis, host of the podcast, Tiny Leaps, Big Changes and author of the book Tiny Leaps Big Changes (https://amzn.to/2OfDDFr). Gregg offers some important insight to making personal changes whether it is reaching for a big goal or eliminating something negative in your life.  This Week's Sponsors -Fab Fit Fun. For $10 off your first box, go to www.FabFitFun.com and use the promo code: something -Trip Actions. Go towww.TripActions.com/something to complete a 30 minute demo and receive a $100Amazon gift card. -ADT. Go to www.ADT.com/smart to learn how ADT can design and install a smart home system for you. -Select Quote. Get your free insurance quote at www.SelectQuote.com/something -Indeed. Post a sponsored job for free at www.Indeed.com/podcast -Geico. Go to www.Geico.com to see how Geico can save you money on your car insurance -Capital One. What's in your wallet? www.CapitalOne.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on Something You Should Know, are springtime allergies bothering you? I've got some great advice for that. Then, should you judge people by how they use the English language? Because the language is always changing. If you listen to young people, you will hear them say, for example, who is your team versing tomorrow? And by that they mean, who is your team playing against? You can either get annoyed about it, or that they mean, who is your team playing against? You can either

get annoyed about it, or you can think, this is completely fascinating. Plus, is it better that kids question authority or follow the rules? And making important changes in your life, why is it so hard? It's hard because we logically want to, but we subconsciously don't. Change represents loss of your identity, loss of who you currently are. And even if that change is good and for the better, you're still feeling the loss. All this today on Something You Should Know. As a listener to Something You Should Know, I can only assume that you are someone who likes to learn about new and interesting things and bring more knowledge to work for you in your everyday life. I mean, that's kind of what Something You Should Know was all about.

And so I want to invite you to listen to another podcast called TED Talks Daily. Now, you know about TED Talks, right? Many of the guests on Something You Should Know have done TED Talks Daily. Now, you know about TED Talks, right? Many of the guests on Something You Should Know have done TED Talks. Well, you see, TED Talks Daily is a podcast that brings you a new TED Talk every weekday in less than 15 minutes. Join host Elise Hu. She goes beyond the headlines so you can hear about the big ideas shaping our future. Learn about things like sustainable fashion, embracing your entrepreneurial spirit,

the future of robotics, and so much more. Like I said, if you like this podcast, Something You Should Know, I'm pretty sure you're going to like TED Talks Daily. And you get TED Talks Daily wherever you get your podcasts. Something you should know. Fascinating intel. The world's top experts. And practical advice you can use in your life. Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. Hey, welcome. Do you suffer from allergies? I do.

And it seems like everybody is allergic to something in the air. And springtime can be particularly tough on allergy sufferers. Allergist Dr. Clifford Bassett has some steps you can take to lessen the impact of all of those things that are causing your allergies to flare up this spring. His first recommendation is don't vacuum. Get somebody else to do it. And if you have to do it, wear a mask. Pollen gets tracked in on our clothes and shoes,

and vacuuming really stirs that up. Next, replace your air filter in your furnace and air conditioning unit. It's worth your while to pay a little more for a good one. The good ones really do filter out pollen, pet dander, dust mites, and debris. You should mow your lawn often. It's best if you can get someone else to do it, but mowing often helps disperse and reduce the effects of pollen. And he recommends that you wash your hair at night. It's probably full of pollen, and you don't want to then put that all over your pillow. And that is something you should know.

What's so interesting to me about the English language that you and I speak and write is that at any point in time, we like to think that there is such a thing as proper English. Words, phrases, punctuation, they're either correct or they're incorrect. And yet, as you look back in time, English has always been in a state of change. New words and phrases and grammar come into the language, and old words and phrases and grammar disappear. Even still, I am one of those people who's a bit of

a stickler. I like it when words are spelled and pronounced correctly. I like good grammar. And one of the reasons I like good grammar is because I think people judge you by how you use the language. And I think you communicate your thoughts and ideas better if you use the language correctly. But there are people who are less strict about the whole thing, including my guest, Anne Curzan. She is a professor of English, Linguistics, and Education at the University of Michigan, and she teaches a series of online courses in English and grammar for The Great Courses. Hey, Anne, welcome.

Thanks so much. I'm delighted to be here. Now, I know there are people who are concerned about English. The phrase you often hear is that someone has butchered the English language. That as English seems to change, it seems to change for the worse. Do you agree? I am delighted to report, as a linguist, that English is fine, despite the rumors to the contrary, that terrible things are happening. What I love about that is that if you go back 100 years and you see what people were complaining about in English that they thought was terrible. For example, people didn't like the verb donate when it came in. Or Ben Franklin thought that when the noun notice became the verb notice, that was horrible. And we look at that and we think, what is their problem? And I try to keep

that perspective when people are saying to me, I hate it when young people are using this slang word. One of the new ones is young people who are using the verb verse, and I can explain that if you want me to, but people say, this is terrible. And I say, you know, in 50 years, we're going to look really quaint that we thought that was a bad thing. How do they use verse that is so objectionable? If you listen to young people,

and this seems to be happening across the United States, you will hear them say, for example, who is your team versing tomorrow? And by that they mean, who is your team playing against? And if you think about what kids have done, you can either get annoyed about it, or you can think this is completely fascinating. Because if you think about the Yankees versus the Dodgers or Serena versus Venus Williams, if you just hear that, that sounds a lot like tonight, Serena plays Venus. And if versus is a verb, well, then you can have versed people.

You can ask, who are you versing? In other words, kids have taken this Latin verses and reinterpreted it as a verb. But aren't there things that bother you? Is it all just all okay, and one day we'll all just be saying that? You know what really bothers me is when people say realtor, especially realtors when they say realtor. There's only two syllables in the word, but a lot of people make it three. And for some reason, I don't know why, for some reason that really bothers me. And I don't think that's ever, well, I mean, people do it,

but I don't think it's acceptable. Do you? Before I answer that question, which I may opt out of answering, let me, I think we have a couple questions on the table. One is, are there things happening in the language that I don't like? And the answer is, sure. I'm very open about the fact that I do not like the word impactful. I think it is ugly.

How do you feel about impactful? I've never thought of a word as ugly, but, you know, I've never thought that much about impactful. I don't use it very often. I can't imagine the last time I used it, but it doesn't bother me like it bothers you. It doesn't bother me like realtor does. Right. And that's in some ways exactly the point. My brain has latched on to impactful and decided that it is ugly.

And so for the moment, I have opted out. I've decided I'm not going to use it, but it doesn't give me the right, if a student uses it in an essay, to say it's wrong because it's a new word. It's happening. If you look at trends in the language, it's becoming ever more popular because there are a lot of people like you who aren't thinking about it, find it useful, so they're using it. In other words, I have a peeve. I've owned it, but it doesn't mean that I'm right. It just means that I don't like it.

And so then you think, okay, what do I do with that? Does that mean that I opt out? But particularly if you're a teacher or you're someone who is based on a cover letter deciding should this person get this job or not and you see impactful, that would not be a good way to decide if someone should have that job. Or if they say realtor in a way that you don't like, that would also probably not be a good reason to say, I don't think you should have this job. Because there's lots of variation and pronunciations change over time. Your example made me think of, there's a wonderful quote, it's about 150 years ago, about the pronunciation of balcony. And the person says, the pronunciation balcony just makes me sick. Because, I know, because the word had been borrowed in from Italian, and in Italian the stress is on the second syllable, so it would be balcony.

But in English we often like to have the stress on the first syllable, so it became balcony. And this person found that pronunciation just awful. Sickening, in fact. People have pointed out other interesting pronunciation variants to me. For example, is it lackadaisical or laxadaisical? What is it? It's lackadaisical. It is. But many, many people say laxadaisical.

Or I'll just give you one more because I could do this all day long, but it does entertain me, which is if you go to the drugstore and your doctor has phoned in something for you to pick up, what are you picking up? A prescription. Okay, and if you hear what you just said, you said a prescription. But the spelling is P-R-E, a prescription. No, I didn't say per. I said pra, like P-R-A, prescription. I didn't say prescription.

I would say I picked up my prescription like it was P-E-R, and many, many speakers would. So we see these little shifts in the language, and again, you're talking to a historian of the language. And so I say, well, you know, the word bird used to be brid, and the word third used to be thrid, which actually makes much more sense to have three thrid than three third. But I still think, and I'm going to stand firm on this, and I'm probably putting too fine a point on it. Realtor is not a three-syllable word.

You can't look at the—it isn't like you're mispronouncing it. You're not saying some—you're putting in an extra syllable, and to me that's wrong. I mean, it's not like it's ever going to be right. You're on shaky ground to say that English spelling needs to correspond with English pronunciation because we have some whopper examples, for example, C-O-L-O-N-E-L. Yeah, but it's always been colonel. It was never colonel, and then somebody started saying colonel, like it's realtor, and then somebody started saying realtor. Well, it's always been colonel in our lifetime.

What was it before then? Well, this one is an interesting little oddity about English, which is that the reason that spelling is so far off is that in the 16th and 17th century, we were borrowing in all these words from other languages. And in this case, English double borrowed. And we borrowed from Italian, colonnello with the L. And we borrowed in from French, coronelle, C-O-R. and in the end, we standardized the Italian spelling and the French pronunciation. So I'm just going to agree to disagree and just say that that's my thing, like you're impactful.

Is impactful in the dictionary? Has it been a word in the dictionary for some time or not? I think at this point, you will find it in many standard dictionaries. One thing that is important to think about with dictionaries is that we can think about them as the place that you go to say, is this a real word? Is this an authorized word? If you talk to the editors of dictionaries, what they will say is, we're just trying to keep up with all of you. As you all change the language, if a word, a new word has happened, then we're going to put it in our dictionary because we're trying to be a record of the language. And they recognize that they will always be behind us because we are very creative and we are always changing the language.

So it's a tough game because who's keeping up with who? Or is it whom? Right. I don't know. Well, that's a whole other problem. That is. And I'd be delighted, you know, whom has many stories attached to it, too. I think the thing I would want to make sure to say is people can hear me saying this stuff and what they will say,

and sometimes they say it to my face, is you have no standards and you're willing to just say that however people speak is totally fine. What I would say is as a linguist, I am absolutely going to say that language variation and language change is a natural part of language and that it's really fun to watch how people are changing the language, to look at different pronunciations, different constructions. Texting is also a way to write and it's a way to get things. And the undergraduates I work with, really sophisticated texters, I am a really bad texter. They laugh at my texting. And one of the things we do in class is they help me understand all the nuances of what a period means

versus an exclamation mark versus dot, dot, dot, which mean totally different things I now know. But I didn't know that. Well, I would like to know that. Let me ask you about that. First, though, let me remind people that I am speaking with Anne Curzan. She is a professor of English, Linguistics, and Education at the University of Michigan, and she teaches a series of online courses in English and grammar for The Great Courses. Since I host a podcast, it's pretty common for me to be asked to recommend a podcast. And I tell people, if you like something you should know, you're going to like The Jordan Harbinger Show. Every episode is a conversation with a fascinating guest.

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Kristen Bell, Chris Hemsworth, among many others, in welcoming the Search for the Silver Lining podcast to the Go Kid Go Network by listening today. Look for the Search for the Silver Lining on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, so tell me the difference between, in a text, the difference between a period, an exclamation mark, and dot, dot, dot. Oh, so this is great. For young people when they're texting each other,

if we imagine a text that just has the two letters okay, if you just send okay with no punctuation, that would be the equivalent of a neutral, sort of like, okay, capturing that tone. If you type okay with a period, this is serious, potentially angry. And if you type okay, dot, dot, dot, that would be the skeptical, okay, like, okay, I don't really know what you're talking about, or I think it's a bad idea. What that captures is that what young people have done with texting, you know, they're texting a lot. They don't have facial expression. They don't have tone. And therefore, as we all know, lots of miscommunication can happen, which I would guess has happened to you. It certainly happened to me. Sure. Right, right.

Where someone, you know, gets your tone wrong. So what young people have done is they have, I like to use the verb repurpose, they have repurposed punctuation to help capture tone, to capture serious tone, or the exclamation mark, which is to say just kidding, is that we're trying to use aspects of written language and imagery to do the work that we have when we talk to another person of hearing their tone of voice, seeing that they're smiling, seeing that they're nodding their head, which is really useful context. And people are trying to recreate that on texting. But don't you think, back to when you said that people sometimes accuse you of not having any standards, that in fact, there is, especially in the professional world, there is a correct English. And if you go in and use slang, maybe that's fine, but people judge that. When you say, let me ask you a question, people judge that.

So the first thing I want to say is I would not use the word correct. You said there is a correct English. There are formal varieties of English, less formal varieties of English. There are standardized varieties of English. And you're absolutely right that there are different contexts, different work environments where different kinds of English are going to be expected. And we know that wearing a tux to a barbecue, not a good idea. So using your formal variety in an informal setting, not persuasive, not going to help you navigate that situation. So there isn't a simple answer to that. I also want to

circle back to the axe question. Historically, it is as old as ask. And there is a good chance that actually historically that axe turned into ask. And in English, axe was the high form for a long time. If you look at Chaucer in The Wife of Bastale, he has axe a question, A-X-E. And through the 16th century, axe was actually the high form. And then that got turned on its head and ask became seen as the standard form. And there's a lot of judgment about acts of question. That is not about language. That's about speakers. That's lots, and this is a point that linguists make, which is when we're judging language, we're judging speakers. And it's a way that

people discriminate against other people. Yeah, well, I guess it is. I mean, people judge people by how they use the language. And as language changes, it seems that in every person's mind, it's wrong until it's right. And until it's right, it's wrong. So yeah, so part of that can be it's a new form, and I judge it, and others can be it's a form used by a group of people. And I've decided that their language is not as correct. There's nothing about, if you take the form ax, there's nothing about that pronunciation that is wrong in any linguistic sense. There's nothing wrong with it. You have the S and the K changed places. And one of the examples that I will sometimes give is if you look on a keyboard, if you hit shift eight, there's a little star

thing. And I don't know how you pronounce that word. Asterisk. I'm sorry, asterisk. Okay. Well, so two things just happened there. At first you said asterisk without an S, and then you said asterisk with an S. Asterisk is how it's spelled. I actually, if I, my K and S have changed places, much the way that ask and ax, you have a K and an S that have changed places. But people don't judge me harshly, as far as I know, when I say asterisk. Well, but linguistics aside, in the real world, people do make judgments about how people speak. They make judgments about people's accents. They make judgments about people's pronunciation. They just do. That's what people do. And to not like that is fine, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Yes, I want people to know, well, I want people to know a couple things. One is, you may get judged if you say X. The other thing that I want the people who are judging is to say that is discriminatory. That to judge people for saying X instead of ask, you shouldn't do that.

So for me, it goes both ways. One way, you put all the burden on the speaker who is using a nonstandard form or a new form and say, you need to accommodate. You need to accommodate the prejudices out there of what people think are right and wrong. And certainly, it is helpful to know that so you can navigate the world. But I'm not willing to stop there. I also want to say, for all of us who have our peeves, we also need to educate ourselves so that we aren't judging people unfairly

for things we shouldn't be judging them for. Well, but that's unfair according to you. But if people are going to say acts instead of ask, they're essentially trying to change the language. And change like this never comes without conflict and struggle and pushback. So if you're going to try to change the language, you're going to get pushback from it. You may win, but you're still going to get people who don't approve.

And that just is. There is one change going on right now in the language that's happening seemingly quickly, is the gender neutrality of the language. Do you think that will stick and that that will work? It already has worked. I've actually done research on this. If you look at, for example, on an airplane,

we talk about flight attendants. When you look at who fights fires, it's firefighters. Who drives the car with the siren, it's a police officer. That we actually have already in strikingly successful ways created gender neutral language. And often it wasn't with person that for, you know, people were thinking it was going to be a chairperson. Well, it's not usually a chairperson. It's just a chair that we've decided to have the chair of the committee and to have a flight attendant. One, there is a person word, which is spokesperson.

You'll hear that. But we have male carriers. It's interesting to look around. We have actually found a lot of gender-neutral options in the language for professions. Are there any that don't seem to be budging? Freshmen. Yeah, right. But I actually, here at the University of Michigan, a lot of us are now using first year.

Well, this is fun, and as you might be able to tell, I'm a fan of the English language and what people do or don't do to it. So I enjoy the conversation. Anne Curzan has been my guest. She's a professor of English, linguistics, and education at the University of Michigan, and she teaches a series of online courses in English and grammar for The Great Courses, and there's a link to her Great Courses page in the show notes for this episode. Thanks, Anne. Thanks, Mike. This is a really fun conversation. People who listen to Something You Should Know are curious about the world, looking to hear new ideas and perspectives.

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but you definitely need in your life. So if you're looking for a healthy dose of Disney magic, check out Disney Countdown wherever you get your podcasts. Isn't it interesting and frustrating how it is so difficult to make changes in your life? And the bigger the change, it seems, the harder it is to make it. Even if it's the best thing you could possibly do for yourself, making a change is difficult. Well, maybe there is a better way to approach change that can make it a little easier and more manageable.

That is something Greg Clunas has spent a lot of time studying. Greg is the host of the podcast, Tiny Leaps, Big Changes, and he also has a new book out, not coincidentally called, Tiny Leaps, Big Changes. Hi, Greg, welcome. Thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute honor. Sure. So, why is change so hard? From looking at the research and all you've done in this subject, what in a big picture way is the reason change is so difficult?

It's hard because we logically want to, but we subconsciously don't. Change represents loss of your identity, loss of who you currently are. And it seems small, right? Something as simple as the way that you get out of bed in the morning, like which leg you swing out first, like those things are tiny, but they add up to sort of create this identity, this version of yourself that you recognize. And in changing those things, you lose a piece of that person. Now, even if that change is good and for the better, you're still feeling the loss on a subconscious level. And so we sort of resist it because we don't want to deal with that. The way to stimulate that change and make it easier is to become

consciously aware of what that identity is and what it is we're sort of fighting against when we try to make those changes. And as long as you become consciously aware of it, it doesn't necessarily become a snap of your fingers and now you're a different person, but it does become easier to manage and plan for. Well, it would seem that, based on what you just said, that one of the weapons to use in accomplishing your change is being pretty clear on why you want to change

because that could sustain you when you're trying to fight the fight that you just described. Absolutely. I mean, the why is the emotional driver. It's the thing that can override that emotional fear. And so one of the things that I like to do for myself is once I've figured out what that deep personal why is, what that reason for this change looks like, and it might be something like changing my day-to-day habits because that's going to create more revenue in my business, which will allow me to create a better life for my family, like that sort of emotional attachment,

putting it in front of myself as much as possible. So whether that is in the basic form of there's a sticky note with that goal written out and the why behind it, or which is the case, a friend of mine does this, a lot of his why has to do with his daughter. And so every single day when he sees her, he's reminded of that big why and the reason for why he's trying to change his life. And that sort of keeps him on track when he's trying to change his life. And that sort of keeps him on track when he may have stumbled without that reminder. Do you suppose that, is there any research that would indicate that people try to change for the wrong reason and that's why they

fail? Yeah. This sort of practice every single year of new year, new you creating resolutions and sort of trying to stimulate change based around this time of year. It's become a cultural activity and a cultural norm and this thing that we all sort of do together. But the problem with that is that there is no emotional why. Oftentimes it's purely a change made from a logical place like, hey, that sounds like a good goal and it's that time of year. So I'll set that goal. There is no emotional deep reason for that choice. Or if there is,

we haven't taken the time to identify it and name it. Well, of course, it always seems that change is easier when, you know, catastrophe strikes, you know, when you have the heart attack, then maybe you're more willing to change your diet. You know, when you've had the car accident, maybe you're more willing to change your diet. You know, when you've had the car accident, maybe you're more willing to wear your seatbelt that you didn't wear before. But it's too bad that it takes that for so many people to actually facilitate, hey, well, maybe I need to do something different. Yeah, this is one of the things that I'm so endlessly curious about. And I talk about my father, the massive change that he made in his life in a very short period of time.

I'm talking he had smoked for 50 something years straight, always struggled to quit. And then within a two month window after being diagnosed with lung cancer, he quit cold turkey. And it always struck me, like to this day, it's on my mind is, how is that possible? How is it possible that somebody who receives that kind of diagnosis or has a certain sort of serious event happen can flip this switch all of a sudden and the change just becomes instant? And my theory, and I'm going to be honest with you, Mike, I don't know the solid answer. My theory, based on what I saw with my dad and stories I've read since from this curiosity, is that there is some mechanism in us for survival.

And if there is an opportunity for us to come out on the other side, maybe getting hurt, maybe getting scraped up, maybe being in a not great place, but we're still alive. That drive almost overrides the innate fear of losing our identity. It almost overrides like that, that fear that's keeping us where we are, because it becomes the lesser of two evil situation. Like, would you rather lose a piece of your identity or would you rather die? And it's a pretty clear choice which one your subconscious is going to choose because it wants to keep us here and have us sort of go through our day-to-day lives. So that's my theory. And it's something that has become very personal to me in trying to understand why these life or death situations often produce that kind of result.

But I'll be honest in saying that I just don't know the answer yet. Yeah, because it does seem otherwise pretty typical that people try and fail and put it off and procrastinate and, you know, I'll change my diet tomorrow, but not today because there's, you know, chocolate cake for dessert tonight. And, you know, it's always later, later, later until that big thing happens. It'd be nice to be able to figure out how to short circuit that and make the change because this is a good time to make the change. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Just the ability to sort of flip that switch whenever we need it and tap into those resources. And I think maybe the closest that I've been able to come to it is when you remind yourself every day that life is short and that we don't know when we're going to go. And I live in New York City. And one of my biggest fears,

and it's a little irrational, but it's definitely happened, is somebody pushing me in front of a subway. Now, is that likely to happen? Probably not. Is it possible? Yes, absolutely. And so when I try to remind myself of the fact that anything could happen at any point and I may not be here tomorrow. And so if that's the case, then today is really my only chance to do whatever it is. Like this is the only guaranteed chance that I have is right in this moment right now. And so if it makes sense to, I try to make sure that I force myself to do it in that moment when I can. So what's the prescription here? The title of your book indicates what the prescription is. But if somebody says, well, great, okay, so I want to change. I don't want to wait till I have the heart attack or the

car crash. So how do I do it? What's the step-by-step process here? Well, it's through accepting that you're going to fail. It's through accepting that every single day you're going to wake up and sometimes you're not going to be able to do whatever thing you said you were going to do for any number of reasons. And not beating yourself up from that, not making yourself feel bad, just acknowledging, hey, today I didn't do it. Tomorrow I'm going to try. And through sort of accepting that, eventually you get this pattern where you wake up every day and you try to do something. And some days you win, some days you lose. Then you wake up the next day, you try again. Over time, the balance shifts because maybe in the beginning you were going to the gym

one day out of every three weeks. But then somewhere in the middle, you were going to the gym one day out of every three weeks. But then somewhere in the middle, now you're at three days per week. Then somewhere at the end, you're at your target five days per week. And that balance just shifts over a very long period of time of waking up every day and trying to do better, trying to make those changes. So the simple formula that I would boil it down into is step one, figure out what it is you want, what change you want to create in your life, whatever that might be. Step two, identify where you're currently at in relation to that change. And then step three, wake up every single day and grind it out. Try to make it work. Do never beat yourself up. Never

make yourself feel bad for it. Just accept reality as it is and try to remove as much of the human element as you can in your decision making so that eventually that balance shifts and you, before you know it, are the life and death changes, but you want to be a writer, but you never find your, you never seem to find time to sit down and write. And at some point, maybe it's time to decide, you know what, maybe this isn't for me. So I would say that it's only ever time to decide that if you genuinely don't like it anymore. Outside of that, I see no reason why you would ever need to make that decision. So here's what I mean by that. Let's plug that goal into the formula. So step one, you want to be a writer. Cool. You've got that figured out. Step two, you do an honest audit of what your life looks like. I would argue that even if it's only three minutes a day, everyone can find some amount of time because there is not a single human on this planet, at least not that I know of, who is using every single second of every single day constantly, always, forever.

Now, with technology around us, we can find a minute when we're in the bathroom, a minute when we're walking in and out of the office, a minute here and there where we can jot out three words or five words or 10 words. The problem isn't that we can't find the time to write. It's that we feel silly for doing the small things. We feel silly for opening up our notepad and just writing a single word. But that's how you start the process. That's how you get to the point where now you're starting to prioritize it. Now you're maybe pushing off going out to dinner with your friends because you want to spend that hour writing instead and you're doing that once every other week. Like those sacrifices do need to be made eventually but the only way you get to that place where you're willing to make them is by first starting to gain the identity of being a writer. And you do that by finding those tiny little moments where you're prioritizing it for a minute.

You're prioritizing it for that 30 second elevator ride, like whatever it is. There are these moments in your life that you're just not using. And the other cool part about this is that a minute, 12 times a day is still 12 minutes, even if it's broken up. A minute here and there 60 times a day is still an hour, even if it's broken up. But there are things that people say they want to do. I mean, how many times since you have a podcast and you tell people and they go, yeah, I'd like to do a podcast. They're never going to do a podcast. They say they are, but they never are.

So it's on their list of things to do that they never, ever get to. It's not that they, if they had a minute to take out in the elevator, they're still not going to do anything. So at what point do you say, all right, let's cross this off the list because it's weighing me down. I really don't plan to do this and let's be honest and let's move on. Yeah. And so that goes back to step one, deciding what you actually want, what change do you actually want to create in your life? Now, I am personally, and this is just what has worked for me, I'm a big fan of trying every single thing that I'm interested in and then throwing it out the minute I have

the taste for it, the experience for it. Podcasting is something that for a very long time I thought seemed silly. It's only four or five years ago that I decided to try it and fell in love with it. And it became a great source of expression for me. So I would say that if you're that type of person who just feels the need to try everything, then go down the need to try everything, then go down the list and try everything and make that decision quickly as far as do I like this, do I not, and am I going to keep doing it or not? If you're the other type of person who has that ever-extending list of things that you'd theoretically be interested in, then you do have to sort of prioritize, well, what is

it that I actually want? What are you naturally doing? And what is your, what are you constantly thinking about on a day-to-day basis when you have those moments? And anything that isn't in that category gets pushed off the list or pushed onto a maybe one day list. So I have this theory about goals and change and things, because I've seen it happen so many times where people have an idea.

They want to do something. They're going to change something or make something or invent something or do whatever it is they say they're going to do. And they start the process and then it stops before it gets anywhere. And my theory is that sometimes people do that because they don't really want to know whether or not it's a good idea or not. So they leave it in that halfway limbo place where they're working on it. They're not really doing much of anything, but it never gets to the point where someone can say no. And that way it just lives in their head and it lives in their imagination as the what if, the world will be wonderful when this is done, but it'll never be done. What if it feels really good? It feels way better than having to face the reality of maybe

you're not as good as you thought. And as a personal example, I've, I spent a lot of time doing this in my business, like having that thought process of, you know, I could be doing X amount in revenue, like I know what to do for it. I'm just not prioritizing it right now. I'm just, you know, building it right now, or whatever excuse I'd come up with. And I had to sit down and analyze that and realize, well, if I'm so capable, why am I not doing it? Well, it's because I'm afraid of finding out what that maybe I'm not that capable. Like, I'm so capable, why am I not doing it? Well, it's because I'm afraid of finding out what that maybe I'm not that capable. Like I'm afraid of actually putting it out into the world and getting punched in the face and realizing, oh, well, I'm not as good as I thought. And I think

that it comes back to sort of where we started this conversation of there is a fear of losing that identity. There is a fear of feeling like you're good enough to accomplish something and then having to face the reality of maybe you're not. Right. And so maybe it's just a difference in personality because I'm not one of those people typically. I would rather find out. I would rather not look back and wonder what if because I never tried it

and regret not trying it. I'd at least like to know that I gave it a shot and yeah, it didn't work, but at least I tried. It's interesting because I find that every successful person that I've spoken to has given that same answer. And I'm curious, and I'd love to turn the tables on you a little bit here, where that comes from. Like, why regret? Why is that the big driver? I don't know that I can explain it other than to say that it's just part of who I am. It's part of my makeup, my personality that I just don't want to not know. I don't want to regret. So I'll try things. And that's just who I am. No, that's that's that actually tells me quite a lot. Because I mean, I guess if you really look at it, it is scary, because what if can never be

reversed, right? Like it's a final, like, you didn't do it in that moment. And so for the rest of your life, you have to wonder what if. And it's just sitting on your mind and it's this massive weight on you. But like I said, that is an answer. Virtually every successful person I've spoken to as a mentor or as a friend has given that as one of their reasons. It's just fascinating to keep hearing it over and over again. Well, there's no doubt that change is hard, whether you're trying to accomplish a goal or whether you're trying to eliminate something out of your life.

But I think you've helped to clarify the process and perhaps make it a little easier. Greg Clunas has been my guest. His book is Tiny Leaps, Big Changes. His podcast is also called Tiny Leaps, Big Changes. His podcast is also called Tiny Leaps, Big Changes. There is a link to his book and a link to his podcast in the show notes. Thanks, Greg. Well, listen, thank you so much for having me. So is it better for kids to question authority, or should they follow the rules?

Well, there certainly is a lot to be said for doing what you're told, but there may be a downside to being a rule follower. It seems that kids who question and have a problem with authority make more money later in life. Over 500 people were questioned, first in 1968 at the age of 12, and then again at the age of 62. As kids, they answered 108 questions about their daily thoughts. They later discovered that the kids who had less respect for rules and parental authority earned more money later in life than those who were the rule followers, regardless of their intelligence or socioeconomic status. They also surveyed the teachers of those kids and found that kids who were more studious also tended to make more money as adults, regardless of their feelings about authority.

And that is something you should know. Hey, you're on Twitter, right? Well, so are we. Come check us out there. We're at something YSK, at something YSK. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. Welcome to the small town of Chinook, where faith runs deep and secrets run deeper. In this new thriller, religion and crime collide when a gruesome murder rocks the isolated Montana community. Everyone is quick to point their fingers at a drug addicted teenager,

but local deputy Ruth Vogel isn't convinced. She suspects connections to a powerful religious group. Enter federal agent VB Loro, who has been investigating a local church for possible criminal activity. The pair form an unlikely partnership to catch the killer, unearthing secrets that leave Ruth torn between her duty to the law,

her religious convictions, and her very own family. But something more sinister than murder is afoot, and someone is watching Ruth. Chinook. Starring Kelly Marie Tran and Sanaa Lathan. Listen to Chinook wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Rob Benedict.

And I am Richard Spate. We were both on a little show you might know called Supernatural. It had a pretty good run, 15 seasons, 327 episodes. And though we have seen, of course, every episode many times, we figured, hey, now that we're wrapped, let's watch it all again. And we can't do that alone. So we're inviting the cast and crew that made the show along for the ride. We've got writers, producers, composers, directors,

and we'll, of course, have some actors on as well, including some certain guys that played some certain pretty iconic brothers. It was kind of a little bit of a left field choice in the best way possible. The note from Kripke was, he's great, we love him, but we're looking for like a really intelligent Duchovny type. With 15 seasons to explore, it's going to be the road trip of several lifetimes. So please join us and subscribe to Supernatural then and now.