Something You Should Know - How Your Mind Changes Over Time & The Upside of Uncertainty - SYSK Choice

Episode Date: March 1, 2025

The letters Rx are somehow related to drug stores. But why? What do those letters actually mean? You probably think they have to do with medication or prescriptions or something. But why Rx? What do those letters stand for. This episode begins with an explanation. https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/06/rx-mean-come/ You are SO not the person you once were. Nor are you the person you will one day be. That’s according to Paul Bloom, professor of psychology at the University of Toronto and Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale. Listen as he discusses what are most likely the happiest years of your life, why you are different from everyone else on the planet and other fascinating intel into how your mind makes you the person you are. Paul is author of the book Psych: The Story of the Human Mind (https://amzn.to/3k524d5). Your future is uncertain. And people generally don’t like uncertainty. That because the future may be full of opportunity, but it can also be full of danger and disappointment – and you don’t know which one is around the corner. However, there is another way to look at uncertainty which my guest Nathan Furr is here to reveal. Nathan is a professor and author of the book The Upside of Uncertainty (https://amzn.to/3SbJBZ6). Listen as he offers a different way to face the unknown that will minimize risk and amplify opportunity. Dio you know the difference between a road a street an avenue and a boulevard? For one thing, all streets are roads but not all roads are streets. Sound confusing? Listen and as I sort it all out. https://www.rd.com/article/difference-between-streets-roads-avenues/ PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS!!! FACTOR: Eat smart with Factor! Get 50% off at https://FactorMeals.com/something50off DELL: Anniversary savings await you for a limited time only at https://Dell.com/deals SHOPIFY:  Nobody does selling better than Shopify! Sign up for a $1 per-month trial period at https://Shopify.com/sysk and upgrade your selling today! HERS: Hers is changing women's healthcare by providing access to GLP-1 weekly injections with the same active ingredient as Ozempic and Wegovy, as well as oral medication kits. Start your free online visit today at https://forhers.com/sysk INDEED: Get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at https://Indeed.com/SOMETHING right now! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on Something You Should Know, what do the letters RX stand for when it comes to medicine? Then, how the human mind makes you who you are and how it constantly changes as you get older. What you find is as people age, their personalities on average get a little bit better. They become less belligerent, more understanding, more agreeable. They're more conscientious. you can trust them more. We seem to kind of mellow out maybe once we pass 30 or 40. Also, the difference between a road, a street, and an avenue. And how to

make the best of uncertainty, because many of us fear what uncertainty may bring. When you spend your whole life running away from uncertainty, you also spend your life running away from possibility. You know, sometimes you take a risk and it doesn't work out. But on average, if you're taking thoughtful risks, it leads to such a more interesting, exciting life. All this today on Something You Should Know. Recently I was asked to try a supplement called Mitopure and then talk about it here.

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So look, I invite you to join me and awaken the strength, power, and resilience already in you with the first and only supplement clinically proven to rejuvenate health at the cellular level. And I'd love to hear about your results. Timeline, that's the company behind Mitopure, Timeline is offering 10% off your order of Mitopure. Go to timeline.com slash something. That's T-I-M-E-L-I-N-E, timeline.com slash something. Something you should know. Fascinating intel. The world's top experts. And practical advice you see Rx at the drugstore, on

signs, and on bottles of medication. But what does Rx have to do with medicine? Well, the R part of the symbol stands for the Latin recipe, which means take this. The X part of the symbol is derived from the symbol for the Roman god Jupiter. It represents a prayer or invocation to Jupiter that the treatment would result in a cure with divine help. So our X really means take this and pray. And that is something you should know. Trying to understand the human mind, what it is, how it works, how it shapes and creates who you are, it all sounds really interesting but also seems like a difficult thing to get your head around.

I mean, part of the problem is there's a lot about the mind and the brain we don't really know or understand. But there's also a lot we do understand. And here to explain that in a way we can all grasp and understand is Paul Bloom. Paul's a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto and professor emeritus of psychology at Yale, and he's author of a book called Psych! The Story of the Human Mind. Hi Paul, welcome to Something You Should Know. Hey, thanks for having me here. So let's start

with happiness because I think we all want to be happy. Everybody has a sense of what makes them happy personally, but on a scientific level, what is it that makes brains, minds, human beings happy? I'll tell you two obvious things, then I'll tell you two less obvious things. Money makes people happy. For a long time, psychologists were saying the opposite. And of course, I don't mean everybody who has money is happy and everybody who supports is unhappy, but there's a definite relationship in how much money you make and how happy you are, both for individuals and also within

countries. So richer countries have happier citizens than poorer countries. And like I say, that's kind of obvious. Money buys things like healthcare and luxuries and freedom and protection from various harms, lets you pay for luxuries, lets you travel, lets you take time off work. That's obvious fact number one. Obvious fact number two is the tremendous value of social connections. I mean, your grandmother could have told you this,

but it's good to have friends, it's good to have families, we have people who love and respect you. Yes, there are happy loners, but on average, being alone is not good for your soul. So that's some obvious things. I'll tell you two non-obvious ones that you may not have known. One is happiness changes in the lifespan, and I'll ask you,

again, let's see, maybe you'll prove me wrong. When are people the happiest in their lives? I would think in childhood. That's a good guess. And they are not unhappy in childhood. They get their pretty happiest children. Childhood depression is rare. But that's not the answer. People are happiest on average in their 70s and their 80s.

In fact, what happiness shows, if you graph it over time is a perfect you, where you start off pretty happy, you got childhood, you dip dip dip, till you're about your mid 50s. And then honestly, for a lot of people, that's, that's the worst time in their lives. And then and then it creeps back up again, until when you get to your 70s and 80s, and until the very last period when maybe bad health really takes over. You are as typically happier when you were an adolescent, happier than as a child, happier than in midlife. And this finding has been replicated all around the world. A lot of the reason that I

think people look back on their childhood as happy is because you're looking back. You kind of forget the bad things and nothing bad can happen in your past because that's all done. So you can look at it through these kind of rose-colored glasses where today, God knows what's going to happen. I could get hit by a bus and so that makes me maybe less happy. I don't know.

It brings us back to memory where if I think about my childhood, sometimes I just dredge up some happy pictures, happy events, and forget about all of the times where I was miserable. And, you know, if you have young kids, young kids are very sad a lot of the time. They're bored, they're lonely. You wouldn't think old age is a time for happiness because, you know, your health is declining, your power is declining, maybe your social status is declining. But the mindset changes.

Your personality shifts in various ways. You're less neurotic, you're more conscientious, and you could become satisfied and attain a sort of wisdom. And I think a lot of talk of wisdom is often nonsense, but the happiness data is just clear. People who are much older will tell you that they're much happier. It would seem to me that one of the reasons you wouldn't be happier when you're older

is you're so much closer to the edge of the cliff that you will one day fall off that you weren't 25 years ago. Honestly, you would think that. And certainly, no matter how old you are, death, if your life is going well, is an ugly and horrible prospect. And there's a certain point, it's not that they welcome it, but there's an acquaintance to it, at least to a point where it doesn't interfere with your happiness.

The second mystery of happiness is a genuine mystery, and it goes back to what we don't know, which is there's a lot of debate over whether having children makes you happy. Some initial studies found it doesn't. Some later studies find that, um, that under some, in some countries, parents are happier than non-parents. There's difference between men and women, mothers and fathers, but the data is complicated. I've written about this before and the response I get by parents is often like, yeah, it's complicated. Well, but it's also, you often hear something like, it's the greatest thing I ever did

and it's the hardest thing I ever did. I think that's exactly right. And I actually think that asking about happiness is sometimes the wrong question. We want to maximize different things in our lives. We want to be happy, we want to pleasure, but we also want to be good and we want to live meaningful lives and I think having children is an extraordinarily for many of us deep and meaningful and important decision. It means a lot. It matters a lot.

My children are now, you know, off in the world, but I define myself as a parent. And that's different from saying, oh, it made me happy. Like a hot foot Sunday would make me happy. So let's talk about good and evil. I've always been fascinated by why some people do good for the world and feel compelled to and feel rewarded by doing that, and other people take the other path. There's even the broader question

before that, which is why do we do good at all? Why is an animal that evolved through natural selection capable of kindness and love and caring not just to its kin, there's evolution explanation why you take care of your kin, but to friends, to strangers. We care a lot about things like natural disasters across the world. We give money to say people we haven't, we had never met. I think that's extraordinary and beautiful. And studying moral psychology is my day job as a researcher and I find it extremely interesting and really important. But your question about

differences also weighs heavily. And I guess I have to say two things about that. One is there's natural variation in every aspect of a person, every physical aspect. We're taller or shorter, we burn in the sun or we don't, our knees ache when we walk or they don't, there's all these variations and the same holds true once you go above the neck. Some of us are extroverted, others aren't, some of us are timid. Some are fearful. Some like to joke around, others more serious. The variation extends through morality.

Some people are more aggressive than other people. Some people care more, are more sympathetic, are more empathetic. There's natural variance you see. Some of it's that genetic that you see even in a kid. You know, two-year-olds are not all the same when it comes to how they treat others. So that's part of it. The other part is I think we're too quick to see the behavior of others that we see as evil.

I don't know. Take an example from a while ago, the bombing of the Twin Towers on 9-11. You see see as evil. I don't know, take an example from a while ago, the bombing of the Twin Towers on 9-11. You see this as evil, I think correctly so. But what we forget is that the perpetrators don't see themselves as evil. The perpetrators often see themselves as good. And some of the very terrible acts in our lights are done not through a sort of psychopathy or some perverse desire for evil, but instead through a genuine desire to do good just in a different way.

Something I've always wondered about is just as your, as your body ages as throughout your life, you change. You don't look anything like you did when you were 10. I wonder if your brain and mind and who you are changes in such a way that you wouldn't really recognize yourself if you went back and talked to that 10-year-old who was you all those years ago. It's an interesting question.

A lot of my research involves, I said I studied moral psychology, I often studied in children. So there's a profound difference between a five-year-old and a 10-year-old, and a 10-year-old and a 15-year-old. And this is in part could be explained because the brain's a physical organ,

and grows, and ages, and atrophies, just like our knees and our bellies and our spines do. And it could be a part explained in terms of experience as you get more and more experience, you change. But we know even in adulthood there are profound changes. Some of them are bad. Your mental speed gets slower after a certain point. You might know a lot, you might have what they call

crystallized intelligence, but you're just not as quick. The quickness fades. That's one part of it. On the positive side, there's been these studies, not just in America, but of dozens of different countries, finding regular personality changes in aging. And what you find is as people age, their personalities, on average, get a little bit better. They become less belligerent, more understanding, more agreeable. They're more conscientious. You could trust them more.

They're less neurotic about things. We seem to kind of, to some extent, mellow out maybe once we pass 30 or 40. Oh, thank god. I'm speaking with Paul Bloom. He's a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto and author of the book Psych, the story of the human mind. BedMGM authorized gaming partner of the NBA has your back all season long. From tip-off to the final buzzer you're always taking care of with this sports book born in Vegas. That's a feeling you can only get

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The Jordan Harbinger Show is different than something you should know, but as you'll see, it aligns well with this audience. Meaning, if you like this podcast, you're probably going to like that one. The Jordan Harbinger Show. Each episode is a conversation with a different, fascinating guest. Recently he had on Amanda Ripley talking about how to survive an unthinkable disaster. Which strikes close to home for me, having just been through the fires and mudslides in California and evacuated twice. He also spoke with Jay Dobbins who's a former ATF agent who

went undercover with the Hells Angels. Now that's a conversation worth hearing and listening to his conversations will make you a more critical thinker about the world around you. Check out the Jordan Harbinger show and there's a good chance it finds its way into your regular rotation of podcasts. The Jordan Harbinger show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. So Paul, since you study children and here here's something, as somebody who has been through the foster parent and adoption business, you often hear people talk and they will offer their opinion about, well, I hope you intervened early because once a kid hits, and fill in the blank, eight, 10, it's too late, it's too late.

Is there any evidence that that's true or is that just some wives' tale theory that people come up with? It's sort of in between. There's some truth to the fact that both events and interventions that happen early are more powerful, have more in effect than those that happen later in life. Something as simple as brain damage.

The brain recovers from it quicker if you're two years old than if you're 22 years old. Some capacities like learning a language and some social skills are best learned early in life. The brain seems to shut down a bit, maybe after adolescence or after 18. But the story's been so oversold. So in a strong way you're putting it, no, it's not true. It's not true that, oh, once somebody's four, you can't do anything with them.

Once somebody's eight, they're a goner. If they're introverted and gonna stay introverted and so on, it may be more difficult, but I think change is possible at any point in the lifespan. One question I've always wondered about, and I think everybody's pondered this, in a family, you have kids, siblings, and they turn out very differently, even though they were raised in the same house

by the same parents with the same rules. So why is that? Why does one kid go one way and another kid go the other way? Studies of why people turn out differently, which is one of the big and most exciting areas of psychology where it connects with behavioral genetics and other fields, find that there's really two big factors that shape our personalities. One is genetics, and in which case you and your genetic sibling, a child and his genetic sibling would have the same 50% of the same

genes. A child and his adopted sibling would have none of the same genes in particular. So that's one of the genes. Say that counts for 50%. So you might think the other 50% that must come from parenting, but it appears not. It appears that a lot of the other 50% comes from experiences, life experiences. You get bullied in school, you fall in love, you win a prize, you try something and you're really good at it. You know, these life experiences that different kids in the same family experience pull their personalities apart. As you can have identical twins, right, raised in the same family.

Same, there's no first born, there's no second born, they share 100% of the genes, they have the same parents, same family environment, yet their lives will pull them in different ways and they can end up quite different in all sorts of interesting ways. But they can also end up not quite different in similar ways. The more genes you share, the more likely

you are to be similar. And so identical twins are, on average, going to be a lot more similar than any two siblings who aren't twins, and certainly than any two strangers. But the very fact that they don't come out exactly the same. I know twins where one's very liberal and one's very conservative, for instance.

And I think that's interesting. That shows that factors of life can shape you in different ways. But what about things like, I think isn't Albert Einstein's brain in a bottle somewhere that they wanted to examine it? Because how could somebody so brilliant, you know, be one of us?

He's just so amazingly smart. But what caught, is there any idea of why somebody is just so head and shoulders above everybody else when it comes to anything, whether it's for good or evil? You know, Jeffrey Dahmer or Albert Einstein. I mean, these are just extraordinarily extraordinary people. Why?

I think for all of this, let's focus on the good side, on Einstein's, put the Dahmer's aside for a bit. Part of his genetic gifts. So everyone's noticed for a long time, these things run in families. There are these families of geniuses, even if they're raised very differently. Certain genius abilities, mathematical abilities, say, musical abilities, crop up. They get a very lucky throw of the genes. But that can't be enough because you need the opportunity, right, to have the genes

flourish. I bet there's a thousand Einstein's raised in parts of Africa and parts of Asia where they never get a mathematical education. They never learn physics. Nobody supports them. They don't go to school. They're not nurtured. For a long time, roughly half the world, women, whatever abilities they have, would not be to environments to flourish. And so you need both, right? You need the genetic gifts. Without the genetic gifts, you're not going to be an Einstein.

But without the environment, you're not going to be it either. You know, take your favorite athlete. You could have somebody born with exactly the same skills as that athlete. But if they never meet a coach and never see the inside of a gym, they're just going to die and we will never have never known. You mentioned earlier that experiences that we have help shape who we are and we all have big experiences.

Sometimes very often times we have very bad experiences, traumatic experiences. And then there's that saying of, you know, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger So what what does the science say about how trauma impacts who you are? You know, there's a story going around everyone knows about post-traumatic stress disorder when trauma damages you But there's a story going around about what sometimes people call post-traumatic growth, where they argue that certain sorts of trauma, you come out of it on the other side better than you were.

And I've always been very skeptical about that. And it turns out that when the big studies are done, it turns out not to be true. Trauma is very rarely good for you. And again, more common sense advice from a psychologist, try to avoid bad things from happening for you. And again, more common sense advice from a psychologist, try to avoid bad things from happening to you. So you're not going to get tremendous benefits from trauma.

But now here's the good news. The good news is we are far more resilient than we thought we were. The typical effects of even the very worst experiences are they mess you up for a while and then you get over them and you're back to normal post-traumatic stress disorder psychological harm and so on are the exceptions and not the rule that's interesting so the the the notion that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is not true at all total total nonsense wishful, wishful thinking. Wishful thinking, which by the way can lead,

I think is often cruel. Someone whose child dies, you say, well, you're going to come out of this a better person. Stronger, wiser, what a horrible thing to say. Who would say that? How could you say that? Well, I know people who believe it. And there was an article in New York Times recently

that somebody said, I went through some terrible trauma, yet I don't seem to be a better person. What's wrong with me? And I wanted to there was an article in New York Times recently that somebody said, I went through some terrible trauma, yet I don't seem to be a better person, what's wrong with me? And I wanted to scream, no, you're not supposed to be a better person. Something bad happened to you. Work to recover. And again, the good news is we're good at recovering.

But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I guess one of Nietzsche's aphorisms has to be the dumbest thing a philosopher's ever said. The person that I think I am and meaning what I mean is like how good a person I think I am. Is that the person other people see? Does it tend to match up or are we somewhat deluding ourselves into how good we are that other people don't necessarily think we're so great? Oh, we are often diluting ourselves.

People's perception of how others see them is often deeply distorted. And sometimes it's distorted in that people, psychologically healthy people, often see themselves as better than other people see them. People overrate their own intelligence, their own attractiveness, their own sense of humor, their own kindness. It's sort of a Psych 101 finding, the better than average effect. But there's another way in which we get things wrong, which I always found very reassuring to hear, and it's called the spotlight effect. The spotlight effect is it's it's it's right in the

title where the spotlight effect is we each feel as if we're more the focus of attention of other people than we really are. So you so the experiments often get people to wear put on a funny t-shirt and walk into a room and then later ask people, how many people noticed you and, oh, everybody noticed me and they're all talking about me. But what we miss is that people, everyone else isn't focused on you. Everyone is focused. Everyone else is focused on themselves. We're all focused on ourselves.

And it's kind of good to know that what you do and how you act matters a lot less to other people than you think it does. People's, people's big regrets in life later on when they're asked tend to be what they don't do. They didn't talk to this person. They didn't make this decision. And then when you ask them, why didn't you do it? They said, I didn't want to look foolish. And nobody wants to look foolish, but it is a bit liberating to realize that people don't notice us as much as we worry they do. Well that should come as a relief to a lot of people. This has been interesting I've

been talking with Paul Bloom who is a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto and he has a book out called Psych! The Story of the Human Mind and you'll find a link to that book in the show notes. Thanks for being here, Paul. Appreciate it. Thank you. This was a lot of fun. A while back, we had Ramit Sethi on as a guest and he's one of the smartest people you'll ever know when it comes to everyday money matters. And he was here talking about money and couples. As it turns out, he has his own podcast called Money for Couples. Which if you're part of a couple, then I highly recommend you listen to this podcast.

Because when you do, instead of fighting about money, you and your partner will discover how to start building a rich life together. Money for Couples is a podcast full of real life actionable advice like how to pay off your debt and still enjoy your life, how to build a shared financial vision, how to spend extravagantly on what you love and cut back on what you don't. And you'll learn from real world stories of couples facing the same money challenges as you. All of the episodes are helpful, but if I had to pick one or two, there's one called

We make $300,000 a year, but spend like we make a million. That's a situation I think a lot of people can relate to. And another is called we've saved for retirement, but have no money to spend now. Money for couples is the name of the podcast hosted by Ramit Sethi and all you have to do is search for Money for Couples wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times. And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director. You might know me from The League, Veep,

or my non eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters. We come together to host Unspooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-sees, and in case you missed them, we're talking Parasite the Home Alone, from Grease to the Dark Knight. So if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unspooled wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to hit the follow button. Life is uncertain. You can't be sure what the future will bring. That can be exciting, and it can also be scary. The fact is we're wired to be afraid of uncertainty because, well, bad things can happen. So can good things, but often the fear of the bad things prevents us from going after the good things. And that fear does seem to affect some people more than others. So what can we do about this? How can we make uncertainty our friend?

Well joining me to discuss this is Nathan Furr. Nathan is a professor who studies and teaches about innovation and technology. He's the author of four books on innovation and the latest one is one he co-wrote with his wife Susanna called The Upside of Uncertainty. Hey Nathan, welcome to something you should know. Thank you for having me. So as you look into the future, the uncertainty of the future, good things can happen and bad things can happen. We as human beings seem more afraid the future, the uncertainty of the future, good things can happen and bad things can happen. We as human beings seem more afraid of the bad things, that we're more concerned

about bad things happening than we are about the prospect of the good that comes if good things happen. And so why is that? Well, you know, think about it, you know, 10,000 years ago, there wasn't a lot to be gained from going far from your normal routine, right? You know, you were probably going to get lost, get hungry, get eaten, get something, you know, you're and so over, you know, million years, our brains wired us to fear uncertainty, but something fundamental has changed, and that is we no longer live in that environment. In fact, we live in an environment where actually there's a lot of

benefits to stepping into the unknown, taking a risk. We've created a safe environment for ourselves physically, and then technology has lowered all the barriers to create new things and transact and interacts. We actually live in a realm of immense possibility but with wiring for something that's different. For me, my interest in this came because I've been interviewing innovators for 20 years and I noticed something about them and that is that we see the thing they create, we see the possibility, we see the innovation, we see the thing they create. We see the possibility. We see

the innovation. We see all that great stuff. But there's a part of that story we never talk about and that is that they all had to first face some unknowns. They had to step into the dark. They had to take a risk. I was so curious because I wouldn't say I'm naturally good at that. I wanted the possibility piece. I could see that that was only one side of the coin. The other side of the coin was the uncertainty. So I wanted to know how could I get better at facing this uncertainty,

overcoming this evolutionary wiring that we all have. Well, that wiring does seem to be an obstacle because when you think about it, as you look at the possibilities of something that might happen in the future. It does seem that we go to the negative like, well, what bad thing could happen more than we rush to the possibility of great things happening?

We just we just have that negative bias. Yeah, it's actually this is a well-known effect in the psychology literature called worst case scenario. We naturally do it and that is we tend as humans to just devolve, I hate to use that word but devolve in our thinking into a very binary view of the world. So you know, take your example, you've got this big job interview, you're excited about it. What happens is you build it up in your mind is like the pivotal event in your life that

everything else depends on, which is of course not true. And to prove it to you, look back in your life and you know, how many of those decisions like, you know, really mattered that you made every single day, you know, not very many. Yet we have lots of tries, lots of chances, that's the truth. But then we look at the situation, we say, oh my gosh, if I don't get it, it'll be so terrible. And so we tend to adopt this binary thinking with a very fuzzy worst-case scenario. And I think what innovators do, one of the things I learned they do really well is they actually think much broader than that. They actually see there's a lot of possibilities here. I don't get the job, but I get an interview the next day for

a job I like even more. And then they assign probabilities to that. And then they also unpack the worst case scenario. Anyway, the point is often we obsess about the worst case scenario. It's often not as bad as we think. And it rarely, rarely actually happens. Sometimes it does. And I want to acknowledge that for people, but it rarely turns out the way. I mean, Michelle de Montaigne was a very famous philosopher. And he said, you know, most of the terrible misfortunes in my life never happened to me. Are there people who are naturally good at this and are naturally good at facing uncertainty, seeing the uncertainty and just moving forward anyway without being thrown off course?

Well, let me say this. My collaborator who is an applied neuroscientist summarizes the field by saying everything in life is a function of genes, how you were born, experience, what happened to you, and learning, those three factors. So some people do come a little bit more predisposed to that, or they grew up in a, let's say, a family environment where, you know, the world was basically a safe place, or maybe it wasn't a safe place, and they learned to like face uncertainty, whatever it may be. But it's very clear we can learn this. And I guess what I would add to that is

just, when I look at innovators, people sometimes think, oh, they're so different. And I guess I feel like having done this research now, I kind of feel like they just learned a secret that the rest of us haven't learned. And that is, you know, sometimes you take a risk and it doesn't work out. But on average, if you're taking thoughtful risks, it leads to such a more interesting, exciting life. And what I see in them is almost an energy or an enthusiasm or an addiction to that new thing. And I've gotten there myself as somebody who, again, who struggles a bit with it now to

being like, where's the next uncertainty? Because I realized that's what makes life rich and vivid and interesting and worth living where you do your best work. And so I think they've just learned that secret and that uncertainty possibility are two sides of the same coin. And when you spend your whole life running away from uncertainty you also also spend your life running away from possibility. Right well I've always thought that you know if life were so certain well it wouldn't be very interesting it would be pretty dull if you knew that everything you did worked out well where's the fun in that?

worked out, well, where's the fun in that? Oh, yeah, that's a terrible world. And I actually take great comfort in a very idiosyncratic principle from quantum physics, which is called the uncertainty principle, which is this idea that the more precisely you measure the velocity of a particle, the less precisely you can measure its position and vice versa.

What it says to me is that the universe itself, some fundamental building block level has some fundamental uncertainty in it. I love that because otherwise, we could build a world with enough computing power and enough machines that everything gets predicted and deterministic and that would be a horrible place to live in. It would be so boring, it would be so constricting. And we need uncertainty. We forget that. In fact, one of my favorite interviews was with the head of a major gambling organization. And he said, oh, you know what we call what we do in gambling? We call it reverse insurance. And our prime customer is that person who we just made the mistake we just talked about, which is everything in their life is so boring. They've made it so certain that they will come to us and they will pay us for the chance that something different could happen.

I just think that illustrates that need, that tension we have. So we have this evolutionary wiring. We're afraid of uncertainty and we seek certainty. But if we follow that too far, we would create a really boring life. Right. So there are times when you do want uncertainty. Lack of uncertainty makes a boring life. Uncertainty would make things kind of exciting.

So one of my colleagues, it was when he did his dissertation at Harvard, went and studied some of the world's top chefs and the most innovative chefs in the world. And what he found is they would actually sometimes purposely make things more uncertain as an effort to increase their innovation. So they'd shake it up and they'd open three restaurants and three different geographies at the same time or right when they're supposed to be redesigning the menu, they rip out the kitchen because it allows them

to kind of unfreeze the rules and habits and roles they've been operating on. So it's kind of, you know, you got to judge what situation am I in? Am I freaking out? Well, that's a great time to reduce uncertainty. Or are we having a hard time escaping the trap of the old ways we're doing things? Well, that might be a place where you need to inject some uncertainty.

So how do you approach this systematically? If you're facing something that you're feeling very uncertain about and you want to do the kinds of things you're talking about, step one, two and three are what? The first thing to do is we call reframe. My thesis and my argument to you is that in life, uncertainty and possibility are two sides of the same coin, whether it's planned or unplanned. If it's planned, you want to do something new, there's uncertainty attached to that. If something happened to you that feels really uncertainty,

it feels terrible, but there's probably some possibility still to be pulled out of it. So that's really your attitude towards it, right? I mean, if you look at a situation, you can see the possibilities or you can drown in the misery. It really depends on how and on your outlook. With the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, I got to see how many leaders responded to this uncertainty.

And there were some leaders who framed it in terms of the uncertainty. They said things like, this is the worst thing that's ever happened. This is worse than the Great Depression. And what do you think happened to everybody inside that organization? They started freaking out. They started feeling anxiety. All the energy, and you may have

been in this situation and on an organization where this happened, all the energy that could have gone to doing something about it, a lot of that went down the drain as anxiety and checking your bank account and should I get another job and all that kind of stuff. By contrast, I love the example of how Brian Chesky, who's the CEO of Airbnb framed it. Now, they lost 80% of their business in eight weeks. If anybody had the right to say, this is the worst thing that ever happened, it was them. How did he frame it? He said, yeah, this is a crisis, but this is our moment. Great companies are forged in

moments of crisis. This is our chance to show what we're really made of. Now, when I say that, how do you feel? You feel differently. You feel ready to take action. And so, in your own life, whatever happens to you for yourself, and Brian Chesky talks about the hardest thing to manage at that moment was his own emotions, his own reaction. So something happens to you or something happens to the people you're leading, a team you're leading or your family, whatever it may be. How do you see the possibility, not just the uncertainty and frame it in terms of the possibility? Here's the thing though, it's one thing in terms of the possibility. Here's the thing though, it's one thing, as I listened to that example,

it's one thing to say that, to say, oh, you know, look at the opportunity here and still feel very fearful that, just logically this could be a disaster. Oh yeah, yeah. And there are disasters and we wanna acknowledge that. And so it's kind of like making the best of the situation. So when we think about it, I mean,

I do want to say there are three other categories of things to do beside reframing. I mean, reframing is very cognitive. There is second, you can prepare in advance. So this is about priming for the events so that when it happens, whatever it is, you're calmer in the face of that. The third is do.

Taking action is one of the best ways to resolve uncertainty and there are better ways to take action than others. Like for example, breaking something uncertain down into a series of small experiments. And then lastly, four, which is sustain, which is to acknowledge that there are setbacks and frustrations in uncertainty and how do we sustain ourselves, acknowledge the emotions, acknowledge the reality, and face that with courage. Yeah, well, that take action thing is one that I really pay attention to because I find that Sitting around kind of wringing your hands

Feeds the beast of uncertainty and doing something almost anything is better than not Absolutely, and you know there's great research that supports the And there's great research that supports the value of taking action on uncertainty, that the best way to do it is to take something big, thorny, and complex and break it down into a small experiment. And you say, well, how does that play out? You can do that in life and business. You got a new job offer.

Well, what would it look like to try it out for three years or a year? It makes the decision a lot less permanent. Another thing is there's great research that shows you may feel, by the way, you may feel like, well, it sounds great to take action, but I don't have everything I need. I don't have all the resources I need, all the time, the money, whatever it may be. But there's a whole domain in my field that we call bricolage, which is this idea that the way entrepreneurs and innovators really operate is they just get started with what they have at hand, like make do.

Bricolage is literally make do with what you have and get started and start learning. And actually, sometimes that's the path to success. And so I would really emphasize the importance of action in most circumstances. There are some cases where it's good to wait a little bit. One trap you can fall into is you feel so anxious in the face of uncertainty that you'll grab for what we call premature certainty.

You'll grab for the suboptimal thing that feels certain. When you really just need to like say, I'm, I have to wait for this uncertainty to resolve. So how do I take good actions? How do I be learning? How do I be testing? How do I be trying? But realize that I don't have to make a decision today maybe because that might be forcing it. And so there's a, there's a wisdom, there's a little bit of art in the science as well about recognizing the right time to act. It is so interesting that uncertainty has this weird balance.

Like without it, life would be dull, but with it, life can be stressful and how you balance that out, I guess really helps determine where you go and how well you do. Yeah, and you know, I am hoping as we practice these skills, and I've seen it myself, we build up our tolerance for uncertainty. You know like if you think of a thermometer right,

there's a certain amount of heat that you feel in any situation but as you build up your uncertainty ability you actually get the capacity to tolerate a little higher heat. And what that means is that we have this old saying, no risk, no reward. That's really the essence of the idea, right? And so how do we tolerate the risk so we can get the reward? You'll get more rewards. But the other way I think about it, if I wish people could take away one thing, you know, we call it transillions, which is an idea from an old word from my field of technology strategy, which is about this moment of phase shift. So think about the moment that water becomes steam or an ironing it melts and becomes molten. It's this phase shift moment. And to acknowledge that as overwhelming as uncertainty can feel, that it is possible

to be transilient, which is to take that thing and to transform it and say, well, what's the possibility that could happen here? And I think everybody's had that experience where you're like going down a dark, you know, a dark pathway and things aren't going well, and you flip it in your mind or you do something and it like changes in an instant. And so I guess I would say, I hope people walk away from this saying,

instead of uncertainty, how do I avoid it? It's so terrible, this is awful. To say, okay, this is what is, and how can this make me stronger? How can this make me better? And that's the Transilient moment. That question leads to the, I think that Transilience is what's beyond resilience.

Resilience is like, you can take a punch and stay standing. I want you to take that punch and like be stronger. Well, they're also, I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I have to fight back on this feeling that if I make a wrong decision, it's forever. And so often it's not if if you do make the wrong decision, if you do something goes wrong, you can probably fix that may be more difficult, but nothing's forever. but nothing's forever. That's a common, by the way, a common psychological bias we have where we think the next decision will determine everything.

But one way to unpick that for yourself is to look back at your life. And I'd say in the last week or the last year, how many decisions did you make? How many of those were really completely irreversible? Like, you know, and even sometimes when something goes different than you expected. I told you about I applied to jobs, I got turned down from all of them. That was one of the greatest

learning moments of my life and led to the next success. I guess I would say my view is that life is a highway with many, many on-ramps and that it is a myth to think there's only one on-ramp. And I can't tell you how many people I talk to, well, if you dig down deep and you find a failure, that is often their moment of transformation as well. And this is even at a wide scope. So Randy Comasar, one of the legends of Silicon Valley, when he says, what makes Silicon Valley different

from the rest of the world? It's not smarter people, it's not more money, it's not all that. He says the attitude towards failure. He said, look back at some of our greatest successes, they're almost always rooted in failure, if you dig deep enough. And so, what's failure, what's success, what's the optimum?

Life is a freeway with many, many on-ramps. Well, I think for anybody, and probably that's everybody who has feared the future or felt a little uneasy about what's around the corner, this has been really helpful. I've been speaking with Professor Nathan Furr and the name of his book is The Upside of Uncertainty and if you'd like to read it there's a link to it at Amazon in the show notes. Thank you Nathan. Yeah, yeah it's a fun topic so cool. Thank you. Do you know the difference between a road, a street, an avenue, and a boulevard? Well, the rules aren't hard and fast, but generally, a road describes any throughway that connects two points.

Streets on the other hand are public roads that have buildings on both sides. So while a street is a road, not all roads are streets. Now often streets run perpendicular to avenues. Avenues have trees or buildings on both sides as well. And although they run perpendicular, which way they run depends on the city. For example, in Denver, streets run north-south. Avenues run east-west. In New York, in Manhattan, it's just the opposite.

Avenues run north-south, streets run east-west. A boulevard is a wide street with trees on both sides and a median in the center. Smaller roads, such as ways, lanes, and drives, tend to split off from a major road. And both places and courts are roads with dead ends. Courts usually end in a cul-de-sac. And that is something you should know. If you'd like to support this podcast, we don't ask you for money. All we ask you to do is help us get new listeners by telling someone

you know to give it a listen. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. For a long time now, I've been recommending The Jordan Harbinger Show as another podcast you might want to listen to. The Jordan Harbinger Show is different than Something You Should Know, but as you'll see, it aligns well with this audience. Meaning, if you like this podcast, you're probably going to like that one. The Jordan Harbinger Show. Each episode is a conversation with a different, fascinating guest. Recently, he had on Amanda Ripley talking about how to survive an unthinkable disaster,

which strikes close to home for me, having just been through the fires and mudslides in California and evacuated twice. He also spoke with Jay Dobbins, who's a former ATF agent who went undercover with the Hells Angels. Now that's a conversation worth hearing. And listening to his conversations will make you a more critical thinker about the world around you.

Check out The Jordan Harbinger Show, and there's a good chance it finds its way into your regular rotation of podcasts. The Jordan Harbinger Show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Hello, I am Kristin Russo. And I am Jenny Owen Youngs. We are the hosts of Buffering the Vampire Slayer once more with, spoilers, a rewatch podcast covering all 144 episodes of, you guessed it, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We are here to humbly invite you to join us for our fifth Buffy Prom, which, if you can

believe it, we are hosting at the actual Sunnydale High School. That's right! On April 4th and 5th, we will be descending upon the campus of Torrance High School, which was the filming location for Buffy's Sunnydale High, to dance the night away, to 90s music in the iconic courtyard, to sip on punch right next to the Sunnydale High fountain, and to nerd out together in our prom best inside of the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

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