Something You Should Know - Surprising Ways Being Indoors Affects You & The Lazy Way to Get Things Done

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

 You have probably been in a situation where you felt shy. As a result, you probably held back and didn’t engage with people as much as you could have. There is a way to get over your shyness no matter what the situation. This episode begins with some interesting advice from a top shyness expert on how to work through those shy feelings in the moment – and it is very simple and requires almost no effort. Source: Bernardo Carducci author of Shyness (https://amzn.to/2XWCgl8) You’ve probably heard it said that indoor air is more polluted than outdoor air. And while that is true, it’s just the tip of the iceberg. When you realize that you spend 90% of your life indoors, it is clear that the indoor environment has a big impact on your health, productivity and performance. While air quality is a big part of it, it is not the only thing. Noise level, the lights and even the temperature matter. Here to discuss this is Joseph Allen, Director of the Healthy Buildings program and an Assistant Professor at Harvard’s T. H. Chan School of Public Health and author of the book Healthy Buildings: How Indoor Spaces Drive Performance and Productivity (https://amzn.to/30SX3b4) When you have a million things to do, what do you do first? Well, you can start by asking a simple question, says Kendra Adachi author of the book The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn’t, and Get Stuff Done (https://amzn.to/341FO9B). She is also host of the podcast, The Lazy Genius (https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy) Listen as she explains great strategies to make sure the important things get done and still have time for yourself.  Every year telephone scams rob people of billions of dollars. What’s interesting is that seemingly very smart people who are sure they are too smart to get taken are often the victims of these scams. Listen as I give you 4 question the next time you get a phone solicitation. Source: Joseph Wilt author of Do I Need Help? (https://amzn.to/3gXTG8v) PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! To match with a licensed therapist today, go to https://Talkspace.com. Use promo code SYSK to get $100 off of your first month! Helix Sleep is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at https://helixsleep.com/sysk.  Redeem your rewards for cash in any amount, at any time, with Discover Card! Learn more at https://Discover.com/RedeemRewards Go to Amazon and search for Conair Turbo Extreme to get your 2-in-1 steam and iron steamer today! Along with alarms, fire extinguishers are essential. Make sure to place fire extinguishers on every level of your home and in common spaces like the kitchen and know how to use them. For more information on fire safety products, safety tips and educational activities you can do at home with your family visit https://firstalert.com/firepreventionmonth   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Download June's Journey now on Android or iOS. Today on Something You Should Know, if you ever feel shy in a social situation, I'll tell you what works to warm you up every time. Then, how your indoor environment affects your health, productivity, and performance. Really neat study that followed students, high school students, for many years looking at their test scores. And it turns out that the temperature in the room on the day you took the test has a massive impact on whether or not you pass or fail that test.

Also, how to protect yourself from telephone scams by asking four simple questions. And how to handle the million things you have to do in a day by asking yourself one simple question. What matters about right now? What matters about this task? You can ask that specific question. And that perspective shift helps you choose the next decision. Because now you have been honest based on that moment. All this today on Something You Should Know.

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About 45% of the population labels themselves as shy, but I think there are always times when you feel shy, and it's usually in social situations. The one thing that will make almost everyone feel less shy in a social situation is simply the passage of time. Dr. Bernardo Carducci has been studying shyness for over 20 years. He says it's usually the first few minutes when the feelings of shyness are the worst. After that, you just naturally start to warm up. So just allow yourself a little time to adjust and you will feel more comfortable.

Now people think that having a few drinks will loosen them up, and although it may lower your inhibitions, Dr. Carducci says it's also the time passing while you're waiting for the alcohol to kick in that probably has more to do with feeling less shy. And that is something you should know. You spend a lot of your time indoors, at home, at work, and in other places. The majority of your time is spent indoors, and that indoor environment you're in has a remarkable and measurable effect on how you

think, how you work, your performance at any given task, not to mention it affects your health. Indoor air is potentially very unhealthy. How bad is it? How sick can we get? Does adding plants really help in any significant way? Well, these are all important questions that have been investigated by Joseph Allen. He is the director of the Healthy Buildings Program and an assistant professor at Harvard's T.H. Chan School of Public Health. He's also a renowned forensic investigator of sick buildings, and he's author of the book Healthy Buildings, How Indoor Spaces Drive Performance and Productivity. Hi, Joe. Well, thanks for having me on. Appreciate it. So like I said, I think people have a general kind of vague sense that indoor air probably

isn't so great, but I don't think they worry about it that much. Should we worry about it that much? Think of it this way. We spend 90% of our time indoors. We are an indoor species, like it or not. But if you think about what we spend most of our time thinking about and even have environmental protections around, it's the 10% of where we spend our time. It's the time outdoors. To think of the 90% another way, take your age and multiply it by 0.9. That's how many years you've lived indoors.

So no one likes to do this publicly. No one likes public math. So I'll do myself. I'm 44. That means my indoor age is 40. We think about years. It's intuitive. It becomes intuitive and obvious that the indoor environment has this massive impact

on our health. And yet, as you say in the question, very few people think beyond a couple basics when they think about how a building might be influencing their health. And I suspect people think just about a few basics because they don't think it's all that bad. So how bad is it? How bad can it be? Well, I'll start with the fact that indoor pollutants can be three, five, even 10 times higher than outdoors. And that's largely because over the years, we've started to tighten up our building envelopes. We've really choked off the air supply in our buildings and allowed the buildup of indoor pollutants. It's actually what ushered

in the sick building era beginning in the 80s. And that's where we are now. And even when you think about outdoor air pollution, this is really going to surprise a lot of people. The dirty secret of outdoor air pollution is that it penetrates indoors. And because we spend so much time indoors, the majority of your exposure to outdoor air pollution actually occurs indoors. I can remember in school being in a classroom that, you know, is full of students and the air feels kind of stuffy and thinking, is there any air, new air coming in here? And is the old air coming out? And, you know, when you go to the school assembly and the auditorium is just packed with kids and parents for the Christmas pageant and it's stuffy.

And I think, aren't there supposed to be rules about this? Isn't there supposed to be a lot of air circulating? Yeah, you'd think there would be considering how much time we spend indoors. And you're exactly right. I mean, we've all experienced these underperforming indoor environments. And I've done studies with my team where we have quantified that better indoor environments lead to better productivity, better cognitive function, better creativity. But you don't need a Harvard study

to tell you the things that are obvious. We describe these poorly performing indoor environments as stuffy or it doesn't feel comfortable. Everyone's been in a stuffy conference room where you can't concentrate. You're looking at the clock. You can't wait to get out of that room. And when the door opens, finally, it literally breathes life back into the room. The air feels cooler. You feel recharged, maybe even wake up. So we've all experienced this, even time on an airplane, for example. Many people get on an airplane in the middle of the day. You're not tired.

But what happens as soon as you sit down in that seat? You fall asleep. Another environment that's underventilated. Not a lot of fresh air happening when the plane's right at the gate. So we've all experienced these poorly performing indoor environments, and we know intuitively that it impacts us. And then there are studies, of course, decades of studies that back that up and quantify just how impactful these bad and unhealthy indoor environments are. And when you exit the stuffy meeting room, when you get off the plane, does the harm go away or is it cumulative?

That's a really great question. So there's some aspects of the environment that are acute effects, that stuffy feeling, carbon dioxide, buildup of, say, a VOC, a volatile organic compound, say, from an air freshener that might sting the eyes or give you a headache. Those are acute effects and they clear up pretty quickly as soon as you leave that poor environment. There are other ways that the building is influencing our health at more of a chronic level. And here I think about exposure to chemicals in carpets and furniture and chairs and your couch that interfere on your body in subclinical ways, interfere with your natural hormone system, and acts over the long duration. You don't notice it's happening. There's no overt

symptom. But over a longer period of time, it can cause these effects to your, we call them endocrine disrupting chemicals. And some of them can even cause cancer. So you have both the acute and the chronic impacts. Theoretically, when a building is designed and built, whether it's a home or an office, or you choose, I mean, I talk about both, but is there consideration, are there rules about we need to keep the air in this house circulating and fresh and clean in this office building? We need to account for the fact that there'll be a lot of people in here. Is that part of the conversation? Kind of. But to be honest, we've lost our way over the years. And it seems totally logical, right, that this should be

regulated, there should be rules applied to it. But I'll talk about one aspect in particular, ventilation. There's a standard for ventilation, but the standard is called the standard for acceptable indoor air quality. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want to be in an indoor place that has acceptable air quality. I want good air quality or healthy indoor air quality. Yet, this is the standard that's been in place since the 70s that came around right at the time of the global energy crisis. This is where we started to tighten up our envelopes to save energy. And really, we stopped designing buildings for people. Because if you look before that period, we used to set ventilation rates based on health. Instead, we've stopped designing buildings for people. And we've ushered in the sick building era. And that's

where we are now. When you say, you know, I don't want acceptable air. I want good air. What does that mean? What is good air in a building? Yeah, so we should be going above and beyond these minimum ventilation rates. So bring in more fresh outdoor air, much higher than what we're doing right now. We're chronically underventilating our indoor spaces. Even schools, 90% of schools don't even meet this minimum ventilation standard right now. And we know that this is going to impact student thinking, student health, and student performance. So there are targets, there are health-based targets we could be, we should be achieving inside of our buildings, but we've opted to kind of pursue these minimum-based standards. And because they become

codified or they become code, this is what is deemed acceptable at this point. And I tell you something else. I've done forensic investigations of sick buildings for over a decade. And when I've gone into buildings, what I find is that most times they're not even meeting that minimum standard. So in other words, they're designed for a minimum standard, but it's not verified over time and buildings change. And when I've gone back and seen sick buildings where people have gotten sick in buildings and you look at the ventilation system, you find that very rarely is it even meeting the minimum standard. How much do you solve the problem if you just, you know, follow grandma's advice and just

open the window? If you have windows that open, open them. Yeah, I tell you, it's actually a time for the basics, right? And so if you're in your home, you don't have a mechanical system, yeah, open up those windows a little bit. And it really can be that simple at times. There are other things we should do. We should be making better decisions about the products we purchase. You don't need, you know, air fresheners and cleaning chemicals, right? There are ways to do this with green cleaning products that aren't so irritant to the, into us and that don't build up in the

indoor environment over time. So there are some actual simple little tricks people can do in their home, their office, even their car, just another indoor environment where we spend our time that can make it a little bit healthier. And each little bit, each little bit helps. What about plants? I think there's a pretty pervasive belief that if you put plants in your home or in your office, that they will clean the air, that they give off oxygen, make the air better. True or false? Yeah, that's a great question. There's some misnomers out there too. So look, plants are great, but maybe not in the way people are thinking about it. So let me talk about the way people think about it first and then talk about the way they actually help us. So a lot of people think you put plants in, they're

going to clean the air. Well, in theory, they do remove some pollutants from the air. But the reality is, is that the rate at which they remove pollutants is so slow that for it to be effective as an air cleaning device in your home, your bedroom would have to look like a rainforest. You'd have to have every inch covered in plants. So that's not to say plants don't provide a benefit. They do in other ways. And here I think about the field of biophilic design. So the idea of the biophilia hypothesis was first put forward by Harvard professor E.O. Wilson, this idea that we have this innate connection to nature and we've walled ourselves off from nature and our buildings over time. Well, his book in 1984, Biophilia, spawned the field of biophilic design, meaning bringing nature indoors and not just plants,

but also biomorphic shapes and patterns. Well, just this past two years, my team has done a lot of research on biophilic design and its impact on people where we've used virtual reality, placed people in ugly kind of closed box offices versus a really nice space designed with biophilic design features. And we wire them up and test them. And we find that people have a lower stress response in these environments with nature. They perform better on creativity tasks. And if you give them a stressor, the time to get back to baseline is shorter when they're in these better environments. And that also feels like another one of these, did we really need a study to tell us that, that we feel good when we're surrounded by nature and we go for a walk in a park?

But, you know, I think that's our job sometimes is to quantify some of these things and lend some credence to the hypothesis of biophilia and biophilic design and to inform future practice indoors. We're talking about your indoor environment and how it affects your health, your productivity, and your performance. And we're talking with Joseph Allen. He's author of the book Healthy Buildings, How Indoor Spaces Drive Performance and Productivity. Hi there. Still no. What about hello, handsome? Who knew you could give yourself the ick?

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The Jordan Harbinger Show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. So, Joe, you say that nature has a real benefit, but I've also heard that just having pictures of nature, images of nature in your indoor environment is also helpful. Yeah, that's exactly right. And this is the idea of these shapes and patterns. This all matters. And this gets to this biophilia idea, right, is that we have this connection. And to your point, our studies were done in virtual reality. And even in VR, where it's not real, we could elicit that response from people

just by having shapes and patterns inside a simulated office environment. So really powerful effect. And we've quantified this both on the physiological response, markers of stress reduction were lower. And then, like I mentioned, better cognitive function, specifically around creativity and creative tasks. So what's a person to do? I mean, you can suspect that a building might not be so healthy. You can suspect that the air isn't what it should be. But if it's not your house or if it's not your building, what can you do as an individual? Is there anything you can do? We've seen the rise of lower cost portable air quality sensors. So it's no longer the case you have to be totally reliant on someone else. If you don't feel right in the space, you can actually measure some of these things and use that data to make a more forceful argument or more data informed argument that things should be improved. For example, you could measure carbon dioxide really well. And carbon dioxide is a good proxy or indicator of the ventilation rate. And a rule of thumb there is look for carbon dioxide to be below 1,000 parts per million.

Ideally, it's even under 900 or 800 parts per million. So there are some low-cost sensors that are coming available. And it's really leading to what we describe as an informed shopper, where you no longer have to go out and say, it's stuffy in here. You can go quantify that, quote-unquote, stuffiness and demand better. And you get those where? At Amazon? And where do you get those detectors? Sure. Sure. You can look them up. Just Google, look for indoor air quality sensors. There are many on the market. They cost, you know, $100, $200, $300 for a decent one that'll measure things like carbon dioxide, temperature, relative humidity, even airborne particles. And some will measure VOCs or volatile organic compounds as an indicator of gaseous pollutants. You mentioned it a few minutes ago

that it's not just the air when you're talking about a healthy building and how buildings and indoor environments can impact your health. It's also the lighting. It's also the noise, the sound. There are other elements besides air. Yes? Yeah, all of this really matters and it's all adding up to play a big role on our health. Things like acoustics we know are associated with, for example, students and their ability to concentrate and learn in a poor acoustic environment. And so what does that mean? What is a poor acoustic environment? Does that just mean noisy? So, you know, there are targets we need to hit. And so the first is you want to be below what we call the occupational exposure limits for noise. And this would, above that leads to noise-induced hearing loss. So this would be more like industrial facilities. You shouldn't come anywhere close to these in an office or a school or certainly not your home. We know that when reverberation levels are too high, that's an acoustical property or meaning background noise is too high.

It makes it hard to concentrate. It makes it hard to think. And there are studies that show this and showing that it leads students have lower reading comprehension and performance on tests in these kind of environments. So it's not just the case we're trying to protect our ears from losing hearing at a rock concert. Certainly we want to protect ourselves and things like that, but it's even this lower level background noise. And to give you a sense of how this might be influencing you in ways you don't know, there was a really dramatic study recently looking at acoustic or noise from airports and people who lived around airports, and they find

that people who live closer and are exposed to more of this background noise actually had higher rates of heart disease, their worst cardiovascular health. That's really surprising to people, right? We think about noise and acoustics. Maybe the learning I mentioned isn't that surprising. Certainly, noise-induced hearing loss isn't that surprising. But to think that noise has an impact on your heart health, well, that's really shocking to people. But it's the truth. And what about lighting? I mean, I know for myself that lighting affects my mood. When you walk into a dimly lit restaurant, it feels very different than when you walk into a fluorescent lit office building. It affects how you feel.

I imagine it has other impacts. Well, you see some really nice new research coming out on lighting, in particular access to natural daylight, which is another one of these things. Do we really need to quantify this? And sure, we, meaning we, the scientific field has quantified this. And people who have access to natural daylight also perform better on these tests of higher order cognitive function, meaning they can think better and more clearly when they have access to natural light. You know, natural light also aligns our circadian rhythm, so it impacts

our ability to sleep at night. A study my team did found that people in buildings that had better access to natural light actually slept better that evening. And that's really provocative because, especially as a building owner, to think that you're not only influencing people's health while they're in the building, say nine to five during the typical workday, but it's influencing them after they leave. Are there other things in buildings that we, you know, lighting and acoustics are things people probably don't think about too much, but clearly that, but are there other things beyond that? Yeah, I mean, here's a real basic one. The thermal conditions in your space, meaning temperature and relative humidity.

But people tend to think, well, that's a comfort thing. And yeah, largely it is a comfort thing, right? If you're uncomfortable, that's not a good thing. But many tests, including our own, have shown that when you're outside of this thermal comfort band, you actually perform worse again in cognitive function tests. And to give you a sense of what that is on a macro scale, really neat study out of New York State that followed kids, students, high school students for many years looking at their test scores over time. And it turns out that the temperature on the day you took the test has a massive impact on whether or not you pass

or fail that test. So they found that when students took a test on a massive impact on whether or not you pass or fail that test. So they found that when students took a test on a 90 degree day versus 75 degree day, they were over 10% more likely to fail that test. So that's something really simple like temperature. And I'm a parent, you think about all the things you do to prepare your kids for these end of the year tests or even college entrance exams, and you read to them when they're a little kid, and it turns out that the temperature in the room on the day they took the test might influence their test scores. And knowing that buildings and many schools don't really pay attention to this, it's quite horrifying. But, you know, we're very sensitive, more than we

realize or think, to fluctuations in these thermal conditions in our buildings. Is there any kind of psychosomatic part to this? Like if you think you're in a sick building, you're going to do worse because you think you're in a sick building. And maybe if you put a couple of plants on your desk and or you think something's being done or you're near a window or you're... Is there anything about that? Absolutely. We, we can't disentangle that. I mean, we, we can, but we shouldn't disentangle

that is the better way to say it. Yeah, there's a, there's a physiological component we've been talking about, but there's also that psychological piece and that's about mental health, mental wellbeing. And it also, you know, we see that in the science. And it also, you see it in how people respond, let's say, in a questionnaire about their space. When people are in a good building and they respond to it and they like you said, they'll even over report some attributes as being better than they actually are, which, to your point, is that psychological component. And that's really quite important, too. I mean, we look at these studies of buildings. signal from the organization if they're trying to do better in their building, that can give people that psychological lift in addition to the real physiological benefit that comes from the better decisions around the building. Well, given how much time we spend indoors, and you say it's

what's about 90% of a person's time is indoors, it's clearly an important topic. And as I said at the very beginning, I think people have this kind of vague sense that indoor air isn't great. And now we know exactly how it isn't great and how other indoor factors can affect our health and well-being. Joseph Allen has been my guest. He's director of the Healthy Buildings Program and an assistant professor at Harvard's T.H. Chan School of Public Health. He's author of the book, Healthy Buildings, How Indoor Spaces Drive Performance and Productivity. And there's a link to that book at Amazon in the show notes.

Thanks, Joe. Yeah, thanks so much for the interview. People who listen to Something You Should Know are curious about the world, looking to hear new ideas and perspectives. So I want to tell you about a podcast that is full of new ideas and perspectives, and one I've started listening to called Intelligence Squared. It's the podcast where great minds meet.

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When you look at all the things you have to do, you have to make a choice. Do you try to plow through and get everything done? Or do you figure out what matters most and do that? And of course, when I put it that way, the answer seems obvious. You figure out what matters most and do that. But that's not always the way we act. I have to say that I'm recording this intro after having done the interview that you're about to hear, and I've been thinking a lot about it for the last few days. This discussion is with Kendra Adashi. She is the author of a new book called The Lazy Genius Way, Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn't, and Get Stuff Done. Her message really struck a chord with me and apparently a lot of other people, too.

She also hosts a podcast called The Lazy Genius Podcast. Hi, Kendra. Hi, Mike. Thanks for having me. Sure. So let's start by and maybe use yourself as an example of what you mean by doing what matters most. I am an entrepreneur. You know, a lot of my, all of my work is really on the internet for the most part. And there are so many resources out there that tell me how to do this job well. And they're all great and well intentioned. But if there are certain parts of my business that are really draining to me that perhaps don't matter as much, if I keep putting energy into those things, then I am not going to have

the remaining margin to handle the things that I really want to to pour energy into things I want. So for example, like social media is something that can be such a suck when your business is when you're an entrepreneur, and you think, well, I need an Instagram strategy and a Facebook strategy, and I have to be on LinkedIn. And you're trying to do all of these different things. And that is perhaps a simplistic example. But it's also one that I think is pretty relevant for a lot of people where you think you have to be in all of these places. And you're optimizing all of these places where I have just chosen that I want to be a genius, because lazy geniuses are a genius about the things that matter and then lazy about the things that don't. I have chosen to put my energy

into one place and Instagram, and then just let the other things sort of slide. And that's okay. It's okay that it looks different than other people. It doesn't mean I'm doing it wrong. It doesn't mean that someone else who chooses another avenue is doing it right or wrong. Just to sort of remove the morality on those choices, that we can just choose what gives us energy and not choose what doesn't. And it's okay that those things are different. And why is that so hard to do? And your example is a good one. Because I and I think people have felt that pull, whether or not they have a business that you have to be on Instagram, you have to be on LinkedIn, you have to be on Facebook, you have to you have to, you don't be on Facebook, you have to, you have to,

you don't have to, but I mean, but then there's the, then the, the worry that, well, if I don't, what am I missing? Who, who's not seeing me? Who? And then there's all the anxiety over that. Exactly. There's, you just asked all the right questions. That's what we do is we have this mental spiral of, well, I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. And I think all of us, you know, obviously based on our personalities and how we grew up and just sort of how we see the world impact how we are going to process our own choices. But for me, personally, I have grown up thinking that if I don't make every choice the best that it can be, or if I am not the actual best at any given skill or task or event or whatever, I might as well not do it. Because for me, being the best meant that that's where my value comes from. And I think that that's true of all of us is we have some sort of deep rooted because we're all humans, you know, we're just all there's nothing wrong with wanting to do

things well and optimizing. But if we take out our humanity from that, if we take out like the depth of our souls from that, then we are left so tired because we're just spinning our wheels and we're just machines that are going and going and then we're exhausted. And so when we start to ask ourselves those questions, like for me, I'm like, all right, I don't have to be the best at something in order for it to count. I don't have to do it perfectly in order for it to matter. I don't have to be the best in the room in order for people to take me seriously. And so if we can release that expectation on ourselves, wherever that is rooted, then we can start to make our decisions more freely.

That's hard to do, though. How many of us have grown up with that message from our parents that I expect you to do the best you can? So you are always trying to do the best you can, and maybe that's fine in school where you're limited by the number of things you have to do your best at. But as an adult, you've got all kinds of things to do and maybe other things you want to do.

There's a lot. And if you're always doing your best, it's exhausting. And so if you're going to decide what's important and just do that, maybe you say, well, you know, I hate cleaning the house, so I'm going to let that go. But if you let it go and the house is a mess and that drives you crazy, well, now what do you do? And that's a great example. I mean, who likes to clean? Nobody really likes to clean their house. There are a lot of things in our lives

that we don't like to do. But if we can step back and truly name what matters about that task, like cleaning the house and say, this task gives me a place of calm or a place of rest or a place of inspiration or it is a demonstration of my personality. And when the house is clean, you can see that more or whatever the case may be.

It reframes the actual task. It doesn't make it as much of a chore because our perspective is different. I think so much of life is perspective because we're all really doing a lot of the same things. I can look at other people who are living life in a similar way to me, but the way that they approach it feels like a lot more alive for some reason. That was how most of my 20s and early 30s were. And I was trying to figure out how to be an adult. How do I be a grown up?

How do I do this? And I was noticing the difference in how people approach their lives. And it wasn't really that so much of what they were doing was different. It was how they saw what they were doing. And so that is the idea about trying to be that's part of being a genius about what matters is actually stepping back or going deeper and naming the truth about that perspective of the task you're doing, like the house cleaning. That was a great example. So take me through the beginning process. What are the first steps to get started with this way of thinking of figuring out what matters and doing that? Everything starts with what matters. Because if you don't name what matters and doing that? Everything starts with what matters. Because

if you don't name what matters about something, then you don't know what direction to go in. And so, for example, I do this like on a daily basis, because I have three kids and every single day, I have to ask myself in the morning, what matters today? Truly, what matters today? Sometimes it's we're out of clean clothes and we have to do laundry. That really matters because we need clothes. Other days or on the same day, I can say my oldest son has really been struggling with his attitude with his brother and sister. And I just feel like he's not feeling connected to the family.

What matters today is that he feels like really seen and loved by me. And it's okay if all the laundry doesn't get done because him feeling connected to the family matters the most. It can be anything from paying bills to we're having someone come and have drinks with us on the porch. And so it matters that the porch is swept off so that we can, you know, sit in it. You just name what matters. And sometimes if we hear that phrase, I get this a lot in my work as people say, I don't know, how do you figure that out? How do you name what matters? And I think we're looking at it from like almost like too much of a 30,000 feet level of like just in general in life.

But instead, if we start small, which is actually one of the 13 principles is to start small. Like what matters about right now? What matters about this task? If you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed or unenergetic about a choice in your work or your home or your relationships,

you can ask that specific question. What matters about this? And that perspective shift helps you then choose the next decision, helps you kind of inform perhaps the system or structure or strategy that you are going to take to approach that challenge. Because now you have been honest and truthful with what really matters to you based on that moment, not on some big overarching thing. Because the overarching thing, I feel like is just too overwhelming sometimes. Yeah. Well, and just taking the day. I mean,

what matters today is a lot better than what matters in general. So that's a practice that I think is a good one to try. Even just every morning. What matters today? You get to the middle of the day. I do it very often. What matters about right now? Because I think we all sort of get into kind of an automatic mode.

We're just sort of going through the motions. And it's harder to stop and pay attention to things that are always happening, I guess, the same way. But who we are on the inside is sort of changing, or our emotions are different, who we're interacting with is different. So there's so it sounds so simple in so many ways. And I think that's why that this approach is can be really transformative. If you do it is to pay attention and name what matters in those situations. And you'll find, I have found, that so many doors open from that in a really beautiful way. The idea of doing what matters now is a very freeing concept that everything else kind of

falls away once you identify what matters now, and you can just focus on that. But in a way, it sort of flies in the face of the concept of, you know, if you want to get something done, give it to a busy person. That if you're just kind of, you know, kind of easing through life and just doing what matters now, as opposed to being productive and getting things done, those two things seem to be at odds with each other to some extent. I can see what you're saying with that. And I do think, though, that perhaps, and here's the thing, here's the thing. Every single person gets to name what matters to them.

If being busy and active and having a full to-do list, being productive, if that matters to you, if that gives you energy and makes you feel like yourself, then keep doing that. Some people are actually more productive when they limit their choices. Others are really productive when they have so many. And so I don't want there to be an idea. I don't want to perpetuate the idea that there is this spectrum of productivity. And if you are working really hard, that you're being fake, and you're hiding something. Or on the other side, that if you're like, I don't care what people think, you know, everything's fine, I'm going to do things my own way, that somehow that is being real, or vulnerable, especially with women, that contrast, that paradox is very, very real.

And so I want to offer to people, actually, you can work really hard if that matters to you. You can take a break if that matters to you. You can check off the longest to-do list known to man. If that gives you energy and matters to you, do it. What about when what matters conflicts with what actually has to get done? And you use the example of, you know, my son feels disconnected. I need to spend time with him today to make him feel more connected. Well, great. But maybe you also have to go to the grocery store, go to the dry cleaner, take your other kid to the doctor. So it may matter that you spend time with your son, but these other things

have to get done. That is why one of the principles that I brought up before is start small. And I think that we tend to make big sweeping attempts at our lives. Like, what do I do? My son needs to be connected with me and I can't give him my entire day. Well, it could be that he doesn't need the entire day. For that example, I would say like, well, he's going to come to the grocery store and the dry cleaner with me, but maybe we can, he can listen to the music that he wants. Just say, Hey, do you want to listen? Why don't you pick the music while we're going? My son feels very connected when he is through affection. And so just to like be more intentional about the small thing of like just patting him on the human moments that I think give us sort of the energy to sort of move forward. And we don't have to make huge sweeping plans and build these big machines to approach a challenge all the time.

We can actually start exactly where we are and just do one thing at a time. I really like this idea of, you know, what matters, because how often are we all wrapped up in what we're doing, and maybe what we're doing is a total waste of time, or at least nothing that really needs to get done right now, but we're so wrapped up in it, you know, it's the forest and the trees problem, that we don't think to say, well, wait a minute, this doesn't even matter. This isn't even important. But once, you know, the momentum builds and you just plow through. Exactly, exactly. And so much of that, I think, Mike, is simply not paying attention to it. You

know, we really do kind of go through those motions. And a lot of those motions work, you know, like we have different routines. And we move through our day in a way that that generally works, or we would stop doing it. If things aren't really squeaking too much, we like you said, we just sort of let them go. And so I think so much of this is simply the practice of paying attention to how we're feeling in that moment. Like you said to go, wait a minute, am I having like, am I having fun right now? Like, is this a pleasant experience? An example is so, you know, I have three kids and we all have to eat.

And so I have to cook a lot of food, make a lot of food. But I love to feed people. I love to be in the kitchen. And it was shocking how day after day I dreaded making dinner. And it wasn't in the sense of like, I'm so tired. It just, there was no joy there. And it's because I was actually focusing on this is how you're supposed to eat dinner. This is how dinner is supposed to look like this is what's supposed to matter. And when I just stepped back and said, what actually matters about dinner? It's that we're sitting together at the table, and we're just enjoying a meal. And if we're not really complaining too much about what the food is,

if I'm not resentful of my kids for like not trying something new or whatever it is, if I'm not resentful of my husband for not helping me wash the seven pans that were required for this meal. I'm losing what truly matters, which is connection around the table. So I made a choice. Just like you said, I was like, this doesn't actually matter. Like cooking this way, feeding my family this way, every single day doesn't matter. And so I started to shift. I started to shift to simpler meals and things just in one bowl or one pod. And again, such a simplistic example, but a very daily one. And it has really transformed what it is like in the kitchen and around the table, because what matters is the connection, not necessarily this, a well-rounded meal every single night.

Yeah. Well, this is great. It's really gives people, when I hear you, it gives me pause to think, you know, how many times could I ask, you know, what really matters? And often the answer is, this isn't it. This isn't what matters at all. But we just get so, like you did with dinner, it's just, we do it because that's the way we do it. But that's a really stupid reason to do anything. So right. And we've got we are too capable. There is too much life in the world in humanity for us to just keep doing things because like, well, we just do them. Like, I just always imagine I call myself Pollyanna with a clipboard. Like I have this like rose colored glasses idea of humanity, but I'm also like, and this is the checkboxes of how we're going to get there. But I often think like, there is so much beauty around us. There are so many amazing, capable, inspiring people,

including ourselves. And so if we actually take off that, like, wait, why am I doing this? And we all start to name that and name what matters about our own life and choices. And I just get really excited thinking about what life that brings to our individual homes and schedules, but also to our relationships and our communities. And I think it's just so vital that we give ourselves permission to let stuff go that doesn't actually matter to us. And when you look at it, when you look back on your life, it becomes really clear that you spend a lot of time on things that really don't matter. So maybe it's time for a shift.

Kendra Adashi has been my guest. She is host of the Lazy Genius podcast and author of the book, The Lazy Genius Way. Embrace what matters, ditch what doesn't, and get stuff done. And there's a link to that book in the show notes. Kendra, thanks so much for being here. Thank you, Mike. You ever notice that sometimes you see in the news some relatively famous and relatively intelligent person gets ripped off by some scam?

And telephone scams are the number one scam, ripping off billions of dollars a year from people, even people who think they're too smart to get fooled. If you get solicited on the phone to buy or invest money, you can hang up. But here are some questions that will help you weed out scam artists, and it might be fun to do. Number one, where did you get my name? Number two, so what are the risks involved? Number three, can you give me some

references to check you out? And my favorite number four, do you mind explaining this to my attorney? A scam artist will probably hang up long before you ever get to, do you mind explaining this to my attorney? And that is something you should know. You can help us out a lot by just telling one person, sending them the link and let them hear this podcast. I bet they thank you for it. I'm Mike Carruthers.

Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. Welcome to the small town of Chinook, where faith runs deep and secrets run deeper. In this new thriller, religion and crime collide when a gruesome murder rocks the isolated Montana community. Everyone is quick to point their fingers at a drug-addicted teenager, but local deputy Ruth Vogel isn't convinced.

She suspects connections to a powerful religious group. Enter federal agent V.B. Loro, who has been investigating a local church for possible criminal activity. The pair form an unlikely partnership to catch the killer, unearthing secrets that leave Ruth torn between her duty to the law, her religious convictions,

and her very own family. But something more sinister than murder is afoot, and someone is watching Ruth. Chinook. Starring Kelly Marie Tran and Sanaa Lathan. Listen to Chinook wherever you get your podcasts. Contained herein are the heresies of Rudolph Buntwine, erstwhile monk turned traveling medical investigator. Join me as I study the secrets of the divine plagues and uncover the blasphemous truth that ours is not a loving God

and we are not its favored children. The Heresies of Redolph Buntwine, wherever podcasts are available.