Something You Should Know - SYSK Choice: Finding True Happiness & Controlling Your Money

Episode Date: November 2, 2019

You need to know about the “27 Second Effect.” This is a critical part of the whole “distracted driving” problem that most people don’t realize. If you don’t understand what happens during these 27 seconds, you are putting your safety – and the safety of your passengers – at risk. http://www.calif.aaa.com/home/about/community-and-safety/hands-free-distraction-study.html Want to be happy? First you need to understand what happiness is – and isn’t. Dr. Amit Sood, author of The Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness (http://amzn.to/2iy2hQI) explains why happiness is so often elusive and offers some great, concrete suggestions to live a more joyous and happy life today, no matter what is happening in your life. How well do you handle your money? For many of us, it isn’t something we were taught, we just had to figure it out on our own. Mix into that all the emotions we feel around money and it is no wonder people struggle to attain financial security. Certified Financial Planner Carl Richards, author of The One Page Financial Plan (http://amzn.to/2hhDbED) offers some great insight into why money is such a difficult and touchy subject and has some great advice to help you control your money and feel good about it. Wouldn’t it be great if you had more time in your day? In this episode, you’ll get 5 expert strategies that will open up all sorts of time and get each day started in just the right way. http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/stop-wasting-time This Week's Sponsors –Airbnb.To learn more about being an Airbnb host visitwww.Airbnb.com/host Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a listener to Something You Should Know, I can only assume that you are someone who likes to learn about new and interesting things and bring more knowledge to work for you in your everyday life. I mean, that's kind of what Something You Should Know was all about. And so I want to invite you to listen to another podcast called TED Talks Daily. Now, you know about TED Talks, right? Many of the guests on Something You Should Know have done TED Talks. Well, you see, TED Talks Daily is a podcast that brings you a new TED Talk every weekday in less than 15 minutes. Join host Elise Hu.

She goes beyond the headlines so you can hear about the big ideas shaping our future. Learn about things like sustainable fashion, embracing your entrepreneurial spirit, the future of robotics, and so much more. Like I said, if you like this podcast, Something You Should Know, I'm pretty sure you're going to like TED Talks Daily. And you get TED Talks Daily wherever you get your podcasts. Today on Something You Should Know, the 27-second effect. It has to do with distracted driving. And if you drive, believe me, you need to hear this. Also, one of my favorite people when it comes to living a life filled with happiness.

He'll discuss what happiness is and isn't and how to find it. The greatest happiness you will find at the end of the day will be with connecting with people, by caring for people, and by creating something interesting. Plus, why talking about money and planning how to spend it is so difficult and how to get really good with money. We think it's about spreadsheets and calculators, but it turns out that we also have to mix in there this idea that it's emotional, right? Like it's fears and dreams and worries.

And if you want to create more time for yourself, I have a few simple steps that can open up untold hours. All this today on Something You Should Know. People who listen to Something You Should Know are curious about the world, looking to hear new ideas and perspectives. So I want to tell you about a podcast that is full of new ideas and perspectives and one I've started listening to

called Intelligence Squared. It's the podcast where great minds meet. Listen in for some great talks on science, tech, politics, creativity, wellness, and a lot more. A couple of recent examples, Mustafa Suleiman, the CEO of Microsoft AI, discussing the future of technology. That's pretty cool. And writer, podcaster, and filmmaker John Ronson discussing the rise of conspiracies and culture wars. Intelligence Squared is the kind of podcast that gets you thinking a little more openly about the important conversations going on today. Being curious, you're probably just the type of person Intelligence Squared is meant for.

Check out Intelligence Squared wherever you get your podcasts. Something you should know. Fascinating intel. The world's top experts. And practical advice you can use in your life. Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. Hi, welcome to this week's weekend episode of Something You Should Know. And I want to start today by talking about the 27-second effect. And this is really important when it comes to distracted driving. Everyone's been told for a long time now that you shouldn't text and drive, you shouldn't talk on the phone and drive, maybe you shouldn't even eat or drink when you drive

because that is distracting you from your driving. Well, research sponsored by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety shows that the distraction time lasts longer than the distraction itself, up to 27 seconds longer. In other words, you may think it's safe to send that text while you're stopped at a red light, but the mental distraction that you get from composing and typing and sending the text will likely persist even after the light turns green. And that's because it takes your brain time to get back into the game of driving. Now, at 27 seconds, if it takes that long, at 27 seconds, if you're traveling at 25 miles an hour, it would take driving the equivalent of three football fields for that distraction to completely

dissipate. And they even tested to see if you could improve this over time, and it turns out that you cannot practice away the distraction time. So figure 27 seconds after the distraction is over before you're really back in the game. And that is something you should know. Happiness is, it's one of those things we could all use more of. I mean, who doesn't want to be happier and who doesn't want to be happier more often? But happiness is an interesting commodity. A lot of us aren't really clear on what happiness is exactly. And after a while, it seems that what makes us happy

isn't necessarily enough to keep us happy. So then what do you do? My guest is Dr. Amit Sood. He is an MD and author of one of my favorite books. It is the Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living, and more recently, the Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness. Welcome, Doctor, and let's start with a definition of the term happiness. How do you define happiness? So, Mike, happiness is really that deep, sustained sense of fulfillment that you get from living a good, virtuous, and meaningful life. I like that definition. And so what is it, since happiness is something that people seem to want to achieve, what gets in the way? Why is this such a difficult thing to do to be happy?

Well, I think the main difficulty is that our brain was not designed to be happy. We evolved during a time when our brain was obsessed with survival and safety, and now we have asked this brain to deliver peace and happiness. And brain was inherently not designed for that. And that is why we struggle with finding happiness, and when we chase things that we believe will give us happiness, they don't. We chase material pleasures, we chase success, we chase fame, and all those things last for a very short period of time.

There are some specific neural predispositions that are ingrained within our brain which steal away happiness, like we discount the good, we inflate the bad, we spend so much time mind-wandering, we compare ourselves with others, and many more. Yikes, it's a wonder anybody's happy ever. Yeah, so we find moments of happiness. You know, that sustained sense of joy that you get, you know, it's like when you're hungry, you can eat sugar to satisfy your hunger, and that satisfaction will last for

a very short period of time. But if you feed someone while you're satisfying your own hunger, then that will give you the greatest happiness. So there are different levels of happiness. Having a good, delicious ice cream will make you transiently happy. Eating an ice cream that is made specially for you with mango crumbs and pineapple chunks, you know, that your grandma made for you will make you feel delighted. But the greatest joy will come when you feed someone who is hungry. So this altruism, selflessness, which connects us with others, is what gives us true, authentic happiness.

Well, and we've heard that, and I know there's been quite a lot of work done on, you know, the benefits of giving and helping others and the helper's high and all of that, but that's usually not where people go looking for it. No, instinctively we are still into survival and safety mode, so we try to collect different forms of energy. So we try to collect money and resources and fame and, you know, all of that, which we believe will give us sustained happiness. But we have this phenomena which is ingrained within us,

which is called hedonic adaptation, that anything good in our life we adapt very quickly to. So it's like, honey, I love you, but now please change. And so we get used to the goodness of our partners and of all the good things in our life. And that is why you see a lot of people who are very, very successful, very, very wealthy, maybe very miserable at the same time. Yeah. And I've heard people say that, you know, it would help if people understood the difference between happiness and pleasure, that pleasure is more like that ice cream you just described. It comes, it goes, and happiness is, as you say, more of a sustained sense.

Exactly. So I think when our mind is thinking about happiness, it is thinking about pleasure. It is seeking pleasure. So there is a difference between wanting and liking. So there's this pleasure trap. It just makes us seek, seek, but never gives us the true deep pleasure. It promises a lot, but under delivers. And that is why you need a little bit of research, a little bit of perspective from those who are really looking at this from a deeper level. So what they advise us is that true happiness is through connecting, connecting with others, through caring, and through comforting and creating. Even creative activities can also

give you lasting happiness, particularly if they are geared towards something good for others. If, however, as you say, our brains are in survival mode and that we're not born to seek pleasure or happiness, how do you even start to head down the right road when your brain is pulling you down the wrong road? The good thing, Mikey, the good news is that we have pathways for both. We have the reptile within us that is seeking short-term gratification that pulls us in one direction, but we also have a mature wise being within us. So we have two consultants within us, and one takes us towards short-term gratification. The other one takes us towards short-term gratification. The other one takes us

towards true authentic happiness. We all come with the software installed. We just have to go and activate it. So once you recognize that, okay, these are my two predispositions and I have to actively engage the higher being within me that focuses on gratitude and compassion and acceptance and higher meaning and forgiveness, when you do that, then that becomes your default mechanism and you've really created a new you. And how hard a process is this? I mean, how long does it take? How much, you know, very concentrated effort? Or is it more of a shift in attitude? Well, it's like filing tax returns. So if I have to file my own tax return, it'll be much more difficult. But if I take the help of an expert, it'll become significantly

easier. So if you try on your own to seek happiness, you will find it eventually, it may take a little longer time. You may have some stumbles and, you know, learn a few lessons. My suggestion is if you can seek help or if you can at least learn from others who have been working hard and understanding this process, then they might be able to give you a parallel or two that might make your journey shorter and more enjoyable and might help you reach there faster. It seems, though, that there are some people that I can think of in my life who, you know, if their life all of a sudden was happy, they'd be miserable because they need the drama, they need the trouble, they need the conflict. That seems to be their fuel and that happiness is not something that they,

maybe they don't even look for it. Well, sometimes, you know, if you have not tasted the ripest fruit or the most delicious fruit, then you don't know how its taste is like. So I many times see patients, when they've recovered from their episode of depression or a bad sort of phase in life, they say, I didn't even realize how miserable I was at that time. So sometimes they are not in touch with their emotions. So that is one part.

A lot of people actually also need novelty. They need new and different and change to keep them excited. And a little bit of those of that is fine. But it is not healthy for you long-term because then you're burning yourself. What you would like is a little bit of sprinkles of novelty multiple times, but you want to be still anchored

in that sustained state of peace and calm and joy, which provides you the greatest energy. Yeah, but I think many people look at that sustained, common joy as perhaps even being boring, as dull, as not very exciting, that the novelty is, you know, that's where it's at. Well, life is a combination of novelty and familiarity. So you want the things that are not easy to change and that, you know, for example, you want to be married to the same partner and have familiarity there. You want similar job, at least for a period of time. You don't want to keep relocating every three months. So that is familiarity. And then

daily novelty, you know, what you're eating, what you're wearing, the kind of conversations you're having, what you're talking to somebody, even specifics of what you're doing, you want to sprinkle that novelty. So it's a combination of that novelty and familiarity that gives you the greatest joy. Some people are more towards novelty side. Some people are more towards familiarity side. And you have to see what resonates best with you. Within that rubric, I think it'll be still important to recognize that the greatest happiness you will find at the end of the day will be with connecting with people,

whether or not you are an extrovert or introvert. Studies show both are held by connection, by caring for people, and by creating something interesting. Yeah. Caring for people and creating something interesting. I mean, that sounds perfect. And it sounds, on the surface, not to be that tough, and yet it's not that easy either. The nature of the mind is to forget. So you make all kinds of wonderful intentions when you start your day in the morning, and by the time you're driving and the first person who cuts you off the road,

then you've lost your patience and maybe you've sprinkled a few curse words there under your breath. So mind forgets. There is something called recency bias. So whatever is happening right now, what is in front of my eyes, actually has greater impact than what I might have thought hours ago. So there are several such predispositions that derail us, and that is why you want to practice. You want to work hard.

It's like a tree doesn't make roots the night of the storm. A tree has to make preparations for the storm. Similarly, you have to make a little bit of commitment. And when you do that, it becomes incrementally easier. You build capacity. And that is how you grow. So I'm driving in my car listening to you thinking, well, this sounds good. But like, I don't even know where to begin. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to do. I mean, do I call somebody? Do I go volunteer? Do I, you know, where do you even start down this road? The first step is becoming self-aware, and that is get your feet wet. And there we talk about brain and mind and stress and resilience and how brain generates stress. The next step is training your attention, which is becoming more present in wherever you

are. A few examples, like when you wake up in the morning, think about three or five people you're grateful for. When you reach home at the end of the day, for the first three minutes, do not choose not to improve anybody and just appreciate your family as they are and try to creatively praise them. And there are some other such sprinkles of intentionality through better attention. The next step is to align your thinking with some of the principles that increase happiness. And we have five principles, gratitude, compassion, acceptance, meaning, and forgiveness. And the way we have sprinkled them is we have a theme for each day.

So Monday's theme is Gratitude. Tuesday is Compassion. Wednesday is Acceptance. Thursday is Meaning. Friday is Forgiveness. We have two more steps. The next step is to develop a mind-body practice and finally make one change in your life. But the first three steps that I have shared with you, Step 0, Becoming Self-Aware, Step 2, Better Attention, Step attention, step two, emotional resilience,

are all what you will need to really create a transformative change in life. We have tested this in multiple research studies and found this to be convincingly helpful. Let me ask you this. Do you think that people are searching for happiness? They just search for it in the wrong way? Or are people not searching for happiness? People are absolutely searching for happiness? They just search for it in the wrong way? Or are people not searching for

happiness? People are absolutely, they are searching for happiness, but sometimes they may not know exactly where to look. Happiness, no matter how you look at it, is very beneficial for us individually, societally. You know, when you add, what research shows is when you add life to your ears, you add ears to your life. So if you're happier, you live longer. If you're happier, your genetic expression is better. You have less inflammatory markers in your blood. Your vagal tone is better.

Your health behaviors are better. You have lower risk of coronary artery disease. You have better relationships. And when you are happy, others around you are happy. One of the best ways to help others is to be happy yourself. So people are, I mean, at the core we are searching for peace and happiness. Sometimes we don't know it, and sometimes we search in the wrong place because we have these two consultants.

Our limbic brain is taking us towards evolutionarily older survival, safety, short-term gratification. What we need to do is, as the top species on this planet, perhaps in this universe, I don't know, but as the top species on this planet, we need to systematically activate the higher cortical part of the brain, be more focused through self-awareness, through better attention, and through emotional resilience. And when we do that, I have no doubt we will find happiness. We have tested this in multiple research studies and found this to be consistently helpful.

If you were to put in one line, we help people find happiness through kindness, through kindness to self and through kindness to others. And I believe that will not only make an individual happier, it will make his or her family happy, it will make an individual happier, it will make his or her family happy, it will make our society happy, it will make planet Earth a better place where the kids will be raised by happier parents. Well, can't ask for much more than that. Dr. Amit Sood is author of the Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness. There is a link to his book and to his

website on the show notes page for this episode of the podcast, which is located on our website, somethingyoushouldknow.net. Still to come, some great advice on how to take control of your financial life and how to find more time to do more things in your day. Hi, I'm Jennifer, a founder of the Go Kid Go Network. At Go Kid Go, putting kids first is at the heart of every show that we produce. That's why we're so excited to introduce a brand new show to our network called The Search for the Silver Lining, a fantasy adventure series about a spirited young girl named Isla who time travels to the mythical land of Camelot. Look for The

Search for the Silver Lining on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Since I host a podcast, it's pretty common for me to be asked to recommend a podcast. And I tell people, if you like something you should know, you're going to like The Jordan Harbinger Show. Every episode is a conversation with a fascinating guest. Of course, a lot of podcasts are conversations with guests, but Jordan does it better than most. Recently, he had a fascinating conversation with a British woman who was recruited and radicalized by ISIS and went to prison for three years.

She now works to raise awareness on this issue. It's a great conversation. And he spoke with Dr. Sarah Hill about how taking birth control not only prevents pregnancy, it can influence a woman's partner preferences, career choices, and overall behavior due to the hormonal changes it causes. Apple named The Jordan Harbinger Show one of the best podcasts a few years back, and in a nutshell, the show is aimed at making you a better, more informed critical thinker. Check out The Jordan Harbinger Show. There's so much for you in this podcast. The Jordan Harbinger Show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your

podcasts. On the surface, you'd think money should be a pretty easy thing to handle. I mean, money comes in, money goes out. You just have to figure out how to keep more of it coming in than going out, and you should be good. But obviously, it's more complicated than that. It is a big reason that couples fight, and it's just one of those important life topics that seems to cause a lot of trouble for individuals, couples, and families.

To the rescue is Carl Richards. Carl is a certified financial planner, a contributor to the New York Times, and author of several books on the subject of money and finance. Most recently, his book is The One-Page Financial Plan. So, Carl, what's your take on why people have so much trouble handling their money, spending, saving, investing? What's the problem? Well, I think part of it, at least a huge part of it, is we expect conversations about money to be rational, right? We think it's about spreadsheets and calculators. And that brings its own set of anxiety, but it turns out that we also have to mix in there this idea that it's emotional, right? Like it's fears and dreams and worries. So when you mix like spreadsheets, calculators, our fear

of numbers, plus emotion in this like potent cocktail, right? That's why I think people just sort of throw their hands up and say, I don't know, geez, every time I touch that thing, it's like an electric fence. I don't want to touch it anymore. Right. So then we have people like you and other financial planners we go to, or we read Money Magazine, and that just makes things often more confusing, or we just abdicate and say, here, you do it. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't, it certainly doesn't help that the amount of noise, you know, that parading, masquerading itself as advice out there about what you should do with your money has never been, you know, never been louder in terms of the noise levels. And so it's really hard for us to sort through it. We think just because somebody's on, you know, one of the

financial pornography networks that they do that we should just run out and take their advice and do it, which would be a little bit like filling a prescription from some guy that we ran into in the parking garage just because he had a white lab coat on, right? Like, those people don't know us. So it doesn't make it any easier. This sort of explosion of noise and choice has made it more challenging for sure. Yeah. And I've always been, I've always found it funny that, you know, you'll read a money magazine issue and it'll tell you the top five mutual funds. And then the next month they'll tell you the new top five mutual. Well, what happened to the last five top mutual funds?

And now I got to move my money from the last five to this five. I mean, it's, it's, it's just, it's just crazy. It's just nuts. I mean, there's so many choices. Yeah. So here I think is the important point, right? That if you think about the analogy with the doctor, you would never, if you were walking down the street in your hometown and somebody who happened to have on a white coat that went down to about their knees, walked up to you and handed you a piece of paper that looked like a prescription. And you would walk and you walk into the pharmacy who are also scary people and you hand them this piece of paper and they hand you some pills that you don't even understand. And you sign some documents that say you won't sue

anybody if you die and you take them, right? Like you would never do that. And so I think part of the problem is we are running around filling prescriptions left and right with our investment decisions without ever taking the time to diagnose thoroughly. And so that's what you do is you stop, just pause, take some time to get clear about why you're doing these things. Why are you investing the way you are? And if the answer is because I heard it on TV, that's not a good answer. We need to figure out why and somehow link our investment decisions and our spending and saving decisions, frankly, to our goals. And that requires you to be clear about your goals. So that may be where you start is getting clear

about your goals. And what do they look like? What does it mean to have a financial goal? I think that a lot of people just have this sense that, you know, I want to save enough money so I can retire and have enough to, you know, buy food and pay my rent. But other than that, what's a financial goal look like? Yeah, well, I think the first thing we need to do is establish, sort of let a little secret out of the bag. And the secret is that goals are nothing more than guesses. And I use that word on purpose because often we feel this anxiety around goals because we're trying to predict with some sense of precision what our utility bills are going to be 27 years from now, right? And what day we're going to die because, of course,

you've got to know that to build a financial plan. So this false sense of precision that we feel, and it's actually been sort of paraded around by the traditional financial services industry often, let's let go of that for a minute. Let's just call it guessing. We'll call it guesswork. So we're going to make the best guess we can. I think I'd like to, in 15 years, I'd like to slow down a bit at this job and teach part-time at the university. You know, I think that that's a goal. And then we say to ourselves, all right, what would it take for that to happen? Well, I think I would need about this much in income, right? And I'd need to have this much in savings in order to meet those goals. Now, calculating that number can

get a little complex, but it's not like there aren't plenty of calculators online or really good advisors or a financial planner to help you. But once you've got those goals, then you say, all right, based on that set of goals. So that's what a goal looks like, right? Like I really want to have enough money to send my kids, to be able to afford to pay for my kids to go to the local public college, right? And when I'm 55, I'd like to teach at the university, and that's going to mean I'm going to stop saving, but I'll have enough money to live. Like, those are specific goals.

Then, once we have those goals, we can start with the next step, which is, all right, how do I find the money to save to get there? And the money I already have saved, how should it be invested to give me the greatest shot at hitting those goals? Yeah, so many people, I heard something the other day about how many people don't save a thing. They've got nothing. They've got absolutely nothing. They're just living paycheck to paycheck. I mean, how does this conversation even get their interest when they don't have anything? Yeah, so the question is, do you want to change that, right? So if you want to change that, then you need to start having some conversations like this. If you don't want to

change it, then ignore it, right? Keep going on about your merry life until it ends in a giant implosion. But no matter how bad it is, and believe me, I know that for many people talking about saving for college is a ridiculous concept, right? So no matter how bad it is, we need to get real about where we are. So that's another one of the places to start. Like, get really clear about your current reality. And I know you don't want to do it because I've talked to lots of people, and I didn't want to do it either. First of all, it doesn't sound very much fun, but often it's, we're scared to know the truth of it. So we get clear about our current reality.

And then we focus no matter how painful that is the idea, because you know, it's out of control, right? If you're in that situation, you, you feel it every day. The financial stress is one of the worst forms of stress. It's terrible. It keeps you up at night, etc. So you feel it. So take the time to get clear about how bad it really is. Pull out a piece of paper. Start writing these things down. What do you own? What do you owe? Your assets and your liabilities. It's called a personal balance sheet. Give yourself permission to realize it's going to be emotional. It doesn't need to be done all in one day. Give yourself permission to not blame your spouse and ask them for the same favor back. Get it written down. And I'm telling you, just the

process of writing it down, just the process of getting clear and facing reality will lead to this little kernel, little teeny seed of control, a teeny sense of control, where you felt totally out of control before, you have a teeny sense of control. You focus on that and then slowly start focusing, hey, maybe I can cancel that cable bill. Maybe we could sell one of our cars. You're going to have to make some tough decisions, but you'll have the ability to, you focus on what you can control, and that sense of control will expand until you'll be almost surprised at like, wow, we've made some progress. You'll look back in a couple years and say, we've made some progress, and that will feel great, and that will build on it, and you'll just keep building based on what

you can control outwardly expanding. It's good to hear someone say, especially someone with your credentials, say, you know, I know it's hard to do, I know it's going to hurt, it's going to be emotional, but do it anyway. I mean, what other answer do we have? You know what I mean? Like, in terms of do it anyway, like, it just, all I'm sort of maybe at this point kind of like, I've got my hands folded and I'm begging your listeners to believe me. Like, just be committed to the process, not necessarily an immediate result. Just commit to the process and realize when you bump up against that electric fence, because it's going to feel electric, you're going to be sort of surprised,

like, oh, wow, that kind of hurt. Just back away for a little bit, give yourself a day or two, but don't give up. Come back to the process of just getting clear about where you are today. That's the first step. Certified financial planner Carl Richards is my guest. He's author of the book, The One-Page Financial Plan. Do you love Disney? Then you are going to love our hit podcast, Disney Countdown. I'm Megan, the Magical Millennial. And I'm the Dapper Danielle. On every episode of our fun and family-friendly show, we count down our top 10 lists of all things Disney. There is nothing we don't cover.

We are famous for rabbit holes, Disney themed games, and fun facts you didn't know you needed, but you definitely need in your life. So if you're looking for a healthy dose of Disney magic, check out Disney Countdown wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. Join me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa Demonts, for Don't Blame Me, But Am I Wrong? Each week, we deliver four fun-filled shows. In Don't Blame Me, we tackle our listeners' dilemmas with hilariously honest advice. Then we have But Am I Wrong?, which is for the listeners that didn't take our advice. Plus, we share our hot takes on current events. Then tune in to see you next Tuesday for our Lister poll results from But Am I Wrong? And finally, wrap up your week with Fisting Friday, where we catch up and talk all things pop culture.

Listen to Don't Blame Me, But Am I Wrong on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. We're talking about money, personal finances, and it is such a, it is such an emotional topic and such a difficult topic for people. And, you know, I know when I went to school anyway, we didn't, we didn't really get any kind of, you know, basic understanding of how money works and what you need to do. And it's just, you just kind of learn by making a lot of mistakes and often end up in a place where you don't want to be, but nobody helped you get there. So here you are. Yeah, and I don't know that it's gotten a whole lot better. I mean, certainly we are getting more, but you know, if information

equaled success, like we should be the most financially successful people in the history of the world because there's more information out there. Information doesn't equal success. So I think that first step, like you just mentioned, it's so emotional. Let's acknowledge that. Let's come out of the closet on the idea that money is emotional. And I think it can become a little less charged, if you will, and a little less difficult if we at least acknowledge that first. And I even feel like you should have hats, right? No shame, no blame hats. Put them on. And that means you're prepared for an emotional conversation where you're not going to blame or shame yourself or anybody else. And once we accept it, like that fence over there is electric. Be prepared. Things change a little bit because we've been masquerading

around thinking that it's not. And then we're shocked, like, whoa, I just opened the credit card bill. Why are we fighting? Right? Because we think it should be like a calculator or a spreadsheet. And it's not. It's not. The people who have, you know, financial planners and, you know, hire guys like you, I mean, what should we expect from you? I mean, do we just say, okay, here, tell me what I should do because, you know, you're an expert. You know, you can't go Google real financial planner and, like, find the real ones versus the fake ones because there's a lot of fake ones. But the first point is, why should you even do it? Now, and this is a little shift in thinking. Like, you're not hiring a financial planner or financial advisor because you're not smart enough. You know, you're not hiring one because you don't have the experience. You're hiring one because they're not you.

I'm really good at being unemotional about your money. So having an unemotional third party, and here's what it will feel like when you find one. You should go in and feel like for the first time, and it will probably be remarkable for you because you've never had this experience probably, they're not trying to sell you something. In fact, they're asking you a lot of really good questions. And in fact, it may even feel a little probing like, wow, I didn't know I signed up for this. And all they're trying to do is thoroughly diagnose, thoroughly diagnose before they prescribe. And in fact, most often you should walk out of the first time you've met them having, you spent most of the time just answering great questions. So most of the time it was you talking, them listening. And at the end, they'll probably say something like, hey, I think I

thoroughly understand your situation. Give us a, you know, whatever, a week, two weeks, three days to put together a plan for you and come back and we'll present it. And you'll walk to your car and you'll think, that person didn't even try to sell me anything. That's a sign that you're on the right track. Why not, though, just put your money in the market and leave it there and, you know, just put it in an index fund and, you know... Leave it there. Leave it there. If you can do that, that's exactly what you should do. Here's the dilemma. Most people don't, right? That If you can do that, that's exactly what you should do. Here's the dilemma. Most people don't.

That's the dilemma. That's way too simple. There's no way I can do that. And even if you get them to do it, because I've been trying that for 20 years. I've been trying to tell people, it's not that hard. Do it yourself. Here's the problem. An index fund, a low-cost, diversified portfolio of something like index funds,

which I think is exactly the right answer, was down 20 or 30 or maybe even 40% in 2009. Guess what? It's going to be down again 20 or 30 or maybe even 40% sometime in the future. And when that happens, you get one shot. Like you bail out in 2009, you've probably blown a decade of returns, right? So the question is, and I know everybody right now feels like, oh, it's no problem because risk, what risk? It's the market's best. But just we have a great lab. The last 10 years have been a great laboratory test for you.

If you feel like you can behave correctly with your investments, then go back and ask yourself the question, I don't care what you say you can do. How did you act in 2008, 2009? In 2007, were you tempted to buy real estate? Don't raise your hand. In 2009, did you sell because it was really scary? Believe me, you're not alone if you did. Most of us do, which is why most of us need someone there. And this is how I describe my own advisor, right? I need someone between me and the big mistake. But if you didn't sell after the stock market went down, where would you be today? Oh, geez. I don't know what the market, up 180%, 200%. Like, you would have recovered all plus a lot more.

And, in fact, hopefully you were automatically buying during that time because you set it up automatically, like, let's take your plan, which I think is great. Like, I'm going to put my money in the index fund, and every month on the 15th they're going to pull as much money as I can. You know, they're going to, whatever, $50, $100, $500 a month, whatever the number is, automatically into that index fund, and I'm going to completely ignore it. And then when all my neighbors are running around crazy, and the news is crazy, and the world's coming to an end, according to everybody, my $500 a month is still going in.

And I'm not even thinking about it. Now I'm buying low, like I'm a genius. And even though it's not because I was a genius, it was actually because I knew how dumb human beings can be, right? When it comes to our investments, I put some guardrails around to automate good behavior. And now I'm looking like a genius because not only did I stay in the market, I was buying all the way through that dip

when everybody else was selling. I was, like Warren Buffett says, I was being greedy when everyone else was fearful. If you can do that, you're a rare individual, and that's exactly what you should do. And so let's talk real estate for a second, because I've heard it said by some experts that pretty much all wealthy people got wealthy, at least in part, by owning real estate. True? Yeah, no, I, well, okay, that's a, okay. That's a good question because there's two pieces to it. One is, real estate, I've done this calculation with people hundreds of times. People say to me, their house was their best investment they ever owned. And typically, they're people my parents'

age or my grandparents' age. My house was the best investment I ever owned. And we sit down and we calculate what the return was. And the return was something like 3% to 4%, like pretty close to inflation. And then we look at the stock market over the same time, and it did like 8% to 10%. Now, the difference, of course, is the reason their house was their best investment they ever owned is because it was the only investment they ever owned for 30 years. So yeah, that's probably pretty close to true because people treat real estate differently because you're not getting an instantaneous quote. You're not going to drive home and say, 59-90 trailside loop in Park City, Utah just went down 20% today. If you did, you would have been scared out of it 15 times in the last five years. So if we could treat other investments the way we've treated

real estate, which is buy boring things and pay them off over 30 years, it would be powerful. Well, that's some great advice. Thanks, Carl. Thank you. That was really fun. That's Carl Richards. He's a certified financial planner, the author of several books on money and finance, the most recent one being the One Page Financial Plan. There's a link to that book as well as to Carl's website on the show notes page for this episode of our podcast,

which you can find at our website, somethingyoushouldknow.net. Thanks, Carl. Thank you very much. Have a great day. Seems like everybody wishes they had more time, more time in a day to get more things done. Well, a while back, Men's Health magazine put together some time management experts, and here are their top tips that they came up with that will give you more time in your day. And the first thing is to turn off the TV. Every one of these time management

experts agreed that this is a huge time waster. If you limit your viewing, you will save hours, not minutes, hours every day. Limit email exposure. Don't stop what you're doing every time a new email pops in. While it would be great to check them once or twice a day, most people just don't have the discipline, but at least make it once every half hour. Make a weekly plan. Any plan is better than no plan at all. If you lay out your week on paper, you'll stay more focused and on task. Get up earlier. Just getting up 15 minutes earlier than usual will give you a huge jump start on the day. And finally, make your bed. People who make their bed already have one significant accomplishment done before breakfast, and that starts you on a more disciplined day.

Remember to subscribe to this podcast. It's free. It doesn't cost a thing. You just hit the subscribe button on whatever platform you listen to, and then the episodes come automatically to your device. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. Welcome to the small town of Chinook, where faith runs deep and secrets run deeper. In this new thriller, religion and crime collide when a gruesome murder rocks the isolated Montana community. Everyone is quick to point their fingers at a drug-addicted teenager, but local deputy Ruth Vogel isn't convinced. She suspects connections to a powerful religious group.

Enter federal agent V.B. Loro, who has been investigating a local church for possible criminal activity. The pair form an unlikely partnership to catch the killer, unearthing secrets that leave Ruth torn between her duty to the law, her religious convictions, and her very own family. But something more sinister than murder is afoot, and someone is watching Ruth. Chinook. Starring Kelly Marie Tran and Sanaa Lathan. Listen to Chinook wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Rob Benedict. And I am Richard Spate. We were both on a little show you might know called Supernatural. It had a pretty good run, 15 seasons,

327 episodes. And though we have seen, of course, every episode many times, we figured, hey, now that we're wrapped, let's watch it all again. And we can't do that alone. So we're inviting the cast and crew that made the show along for the ride. We've got writers, producers, composers, directors, and we'll, of course, have some actors on as well, including some certain guys that played some certain pretty iconic brothers. It was kind of a little bit of a left field choice in the best way possible. The note from Kripke was, he's great, we love him, but we're looking for like a really intelligent Duchovny type. With 15 seasons to explore, it's going to be the road trip of several lifetimes, so please join us and subscribe to Supernatural then and now.