Something You Should Know - SYSK Choice: Overcoming Negative Self-Talk & The Science of Skin

Episode Date: June 11, 2022

With today’s gas prices, you want to make every gallon count. So perhaps you’ve wondered if you should stop your engine at a railroad crossing or if you are in the drive-thru line at a takeout place for just a minute. Listen to the beginning of this episode and I’ll give you the answer. https://slate.com/technology/2008/05/is-it-more-efficient-to-leave-your-car-idling.html Sometimes your own thoughts can ruin your day. Thoughts can become toxic and distort your perception of the world and interfere with relationships. Listen as I discuss how to prevent that and how to take control of your self-talk with Andrea Bonior, PhD. Andrea is a journalist, who writes the popular “Baggage Check” advice column for the Washington Post. She serves on the faculty of Georgetown University and she is author of the book, Detox Your Thoughts: Quit Negative Self-Talk for Good and Discover the Life You’ve Always Wanted (https://amzn.to/2AXyPlQ). There are a lot of theories and opinions on the best way to care for your skin. But what really works to keep your skin healthy and looking good? Joining me to explain the science and latest research on that is Monty Lyman, M.D. He is a research fellow at the University of Oxford and author of the book The Remarkable Life of the Skin (https://amzn.to/3dnvcD0).  If you share a bed with someone, how far apart do you sleep? Listen as I discuss why the distance apart as well as the direction you face while in bed may say a lot about your relationship. https://time.com/64966/what-your-sleeping-position-says-about-your-relationship/ PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Go to https://Indeed.com/Something to claim your sponsored job $75 credit to upgrade your job post! Plus earn up to $500 extra in sponsored job credits with Indeed’s Virtual Interviews. We really like The Jordan Harbinger Show! Check out https://jordanharbinger.com/start OR search for it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen!  For a limited time save 35% on Cozy Earth bedding! Go to https:CozyEarth.com & enter SOMETHING at checkout. All backed by a 100 night trial. If you're the type of person who's always thinking about new business ideas or wondering “What’s the next side hustle I should spin up?” — check out the podcast My First Million! Today is made for Thrill! Style, Power, Discovery, Adventure, however you do thrill, Nissan has a vehicle to make it happen at https://nissanusa.com Listen to Curiosity Daily on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Get all of the supplies & tools you need to get your job done! Visit https://ferguson.com With Avast One, https://avast.com you can confidently take control of your online world without worrying about viruses, phishing attacks, ransomware, hacking attempts, & other cybercrimes! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Today on Something You Should Know, when you're waiting in the drive-thru, is it better to turn off your engine or let it idle? Then, the thoughts you think. They can drive you crazy and make you miserable. Why does that happen?

So a lot of times what we do is we become one with our thoughts, right? Which sort of sounds like a good thing in a way, but in reality we've got to disempower our thoughts because when we become one with our thoughts we start to give them so much power. We start to assume that they're automatically true. Then, if you share a bed, how far apart do the two of you sleep? I'll tell you why it matters. And how to take care of your skin and prevent it from aging. But essentially, when it comes to slowing down aging,

by far the most effective thing is sunscreen. UVA, one of the wavelengths of ultraviolet, is the greatest contributor to aging, more than all the other factors combined. All this today on Something You Should Know. Metrolinks and Crosslinks are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals.

Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Something you should know. Fascinating intel. The world's top experts. And practical advice you can use in your life. Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. Hi, welcome to Something You Should Know.

You know, it's hard to have a conversation with anybody today without the subject at some point turning to gasoline prices. I mean, they are at all-time historic highs. And we're all concerned about squeezing the most miles out of every drop of gasoline. So perhaps you've wondered, if you're stopping your car for just a minute, or maybe waiting at a train crossing, is it worth it to turn the ignition off or leave it running? A lot of people believe that starting your engine uses a lot of gas, so it's best to just let it idle.

But it turns out that thinking applies to older cars with carburetors. Today's fuel-injected engines make that advice obsolete. The American Society of Mechanical Engineers conducted a field test and they concluded that restarting a six-cylinder engine with the air conditioner switched on uses as much gas as idling the same car for just six seconds. So, the recommendation is if you're going to be stopped for more than ten seconds,

it is actually more fuel efficient to turn off the engine. The one big exception is if you're in street traffic like at a traffic light. It is illegal in many states to kill the engine while in traffic and it is a big safety hazard. And that is something you should know. If you were to actually notice and pay attention to your thoughts and the things you tell yourself all day long, you would probably be surprised, and not in a good way. Most of us have a pretty negative, self-critical monologue going on in our head, which does us absolutely no good. We talk to ourselves in ways we would never talk to someone else. We often assume the

worst, even without any reason to do so. It's just what we do. And here to help you stop doing that is Dr. Andrea Bonior. She is a journalist who writes the popular Baggage Check Advice column for the Washington Post. She's written for BuzzFeed, Psychology Today, and other prominent publications, and she serves on the faculty of Georgetown University. She's also author of the book, Detox Your Thoughts, Quit Negative Self-Talk for Good and Discover the Life You've Always Wanted. Hi, Andrea. Welcome to Something You Should Know. Hi, thanks for having me. So this idea of detoxing your thoughts implies that they're toxed. So why are they toxed?

Why are we all walking around thinking so much negative, toxic things? So it's really interesting. What we're really learning about negative thoughts is that it's not the fact that they're negative that makes them toxic. It's the fact that they stick. So depression and anxiety aren't necessarily caused by negative thinking. They're caused by those thinking patterns becoming sticky, where they're perpetuated over and over again. So a lot of us have negative thoughts, and we've learned to just let them pass. We have a different internal dialogue with ourselves where we don't empower those thoughts. And that's what's important to try to learn to do. If you are used And I'll have that thought of, you know, this has ruined everything. And it has, it hasn't ruined everything. It, it just seems that way for

the moment that everything's ruined, but it's not. Exactly. That's a classic all or none thinking pattern. We tend to do that. You know, if something goes a little bit wrong, then all is lost. And that's one of the ways those thinking patterns can become sticky because we just get in this automatic habit of oversimplifying the negativity to catastrophize basically. So something small happens and instead of being able to zoom out and see it for what it is, we feel like everything has been ruined. Everything has been lost. So when thoughts become sticky, the problem is they just perpetuate themselves because we fall into these habits and our pathways, even neurophysiologically, become ingrained that way. But the good news is we can climb out of that by starting new pathways.

You said that my example was one way. Can you talk about the other ways that this toxic thinking affects us? Yeah. So a lot of times what we do is we become one with our thoughts, right? Which sort of sounds like a good thing in a way. I think in American culture, we think, oh, you know, I think therefore I am or think positive or, you know, it's all about how we visualize things. But in reality, we've got to disempower our thoughts because when we become one with our thoughts, we start to give them so much power. We start to assume that they're automatically true and we start to assume that our thoughts really represent us.

And so the people who have the healthiest relationships with their thoughts have learned to step outside of them as observers. And this is part of mindfulness too, to be able to say, I'm having the thought that all is lost, or I'm having the thought that this party is a disaster, or I'm having the thought that I'm going to screw up at work, rather than just automatically absorbing, I'm going to screw up at work, this party's a disaster. They're able to label that thought as just being an observer and they can be curious about it and nonjudgmental about it. And then they can watch it pass in a different way because they're not getting into a fight with it. They're not automatically assuming that it's true to the point where they have to then go back and forth,

sort of challenging it, which takes a lot of energy and usually just makes our anxiety worse. But I can imagine somebody who does this would say to what you just said, but sometimes it is true. Sometimes things are a disaster. Sometimes the party gets rained on or sometimes things go wrong and it's hard not to get swept up in that. Yes, that's so true. And what we have to do then is we have to really examine the thought for what it can actually do in terms of helping us grow. So some thoughts are true. You know, I've worked with people who have health problems or who have lost somebody very close to them. And the truth is a lot of their negative, sad, anxious thoughts are true. But what we have to do is start examining them. Are they bringing insight? Are they helping us plan? Are they giving us strength? And once we can identify

the thoughts that are just repetitive and they're not helping us plan and they're not teaching us anything, then we can start to detach from those thoughts in the same way as we would detach from a thought that's not true. So it's a matter of recognizing that line between, okay, is this thought bringing anything new to the table? It might be true, but is it just weakening me? Is it just exhausting me as I think about it? Or is it actually allowing me to make a plan? And if it's allowing me to make a plan, let me work on making that plan. But otherwise, I'm going to be able to sort of disempower that thought and say, you know, I've heard this song before. I know that it's true, but I need to actually let it pass because it's not going to help me grow. To which someone might say, well, boy, that's easy for her to say. It's so easy for her to sit, you know, and talk about it so dispassionately. But in the moment,

if you've been doing that all your life, it's very hard to step back and go, well, let's see if this is really contributing to my growth. And it just doesn't work that way. Yeah, it's not automatic. And that's why the good news is we've got a ton of data that has given us a lot of different tools. And as a clinical psychologist, I've seen, you know, okay, what works for this person doesn't work for someone else. And there are all different types of tools. And they all do take practice. But a lot of them really involve relating to your thoughts differently in that moment. And so what feels so unnatural at first and what feels so difficult to automatically

do, it takes practice. But over time, that becomes the new habit. So for some people, that involves visualization, for instance. Okay, I see my worry cloud coming. I know this is my dark, anxious, ruminating cloud. I feel it in my body. I'm going to identify it and I'm going to slow down my breathing and breathe through it. And they can learn to recognize in the moment and detach from it. Even though when they first would have tried to just talk themselves out of the thought, they would have had no chance at doing that. So it does take practice. I remember someone saying, maybe it was an interview or just in a conversation, someone saying, if you talk to other people the way you talk to yourself, you would have no friends. Because we beat ourselves up.

We are so unforgiving. We are so assuming the worst in ways that we would never do with someone else. That is so true. And it's especially true for young women in terms of body image. You know, when I've worked with women with eating disorders, I always tell them, imagine telling your friend about their body, what you're telling yourself all the time about yours. But that speaks very well to a technique that can also be helpful, which is called self distancing. So again, it's this idea of stepping aside from your thoughts

as an observer. And some people will actually do this in the third person, and it sounds totally hokey, but it really does help you get some objectivity. So the idea of, you know, Andrea's thinking that she shouldn't have sent that email, and now so-and-so hates her or Andrea's thinking that this is going to be a disaster today. Getting that step away from it and literally getting into the mindset of an observer like how you would talk to a friend can be very helpful because we often can be so much more objective, not to mention compassionate, to a friend compared to that inner voice that we're used to beating ourselves up with. There does seem to be almost a default that humans have that you call somebody, they don't call you back, and you assume the negative. That's just the default

that people assume, oh, they don't like me. I must have said something wrong. Something's happened there. They got a car accident. I mean, I mean, you could go through all kinds of things and people do rather than just think she hasn't had time to call me back yet. So what is that? Is that just a natural human default or not? It is actually. So it has been identified. So what is that? Is that just a natural human default or not? It behooved us to view everything as a threat, to assume the worst, to think, okay, there's some movement over there.

I doubt it's my neighbor coming to say hello. I bet it's somebody going to eat me because that's going to be what I need to actually gear up for. And so it kept us alive to assume the worst, to assume that things were more threatening than they really were. And this is actually really bad when you're sleep deprived because this overcompensates even more. Your body knows that it's not at top form. And so it errs on the side of viewing everything negatively and threatening. So that bias is there. And it's there for most of us. And if we've learned the habit of turning that inward and blaming ourselves

in particular, then that's where it really starts to do damage because we don't even recognize that we're doing this. And we might view it as an objective lens that we're looking through. And so part of detoxing your thoughts really is about learning to label and identify these lenses. None of us are completely objective, but the more we can look at the distortions that we have, the more we can identify them as unreliable narrators because of our biases evolutionary or evolutionarily, or because of just who we are and who we've become in terms of our habits, then the better we can counteract them. You know, it's interesting when you have an event like that, where someone doesn't

call you back and you assume the worst, and then you find out that no, it was nothing. The next time it happens, you don't learn from that last time. You do it all over again. Right. We tend to, unless we change the way that we're thinking about those thoughts in the moment. So what's beautiful about some of the newer techniques is that people really can change because they recognize that right away. They're able to say, oh, there goes my, you know, social hangover voice. For instance, I have some clients that use this concept that, you know, after a social event, they're constantly doubting themselves. They're scrutinizing themselves. They're nitpicking everything that they said.

They're wondering if they did something wrong. But they really can learn, okay, Now I have a script for that. I know what my social hangover voice looks like. I know that it comes from my history of social anxiety or the fact that my parents were always really hard on me or whatever. I can step aside from it precisely because I can label it and be precisely because I do know what it looks like. And I have seen it before. And I know it didn't turn out to be true. And, and that's the difference, you know, so many of us just, we try to get into this talking ourselves out of it. And we go back and forth. And I've had so many clients that start out with me, and they say, I know these thoughts aren't necessarily true, but I they keep coming back, I need them to go away. And the key really is you

don't need those thoughts to go away. You need to engage in a different way of interacting with those thoughts. And these thoughts may keep coming back, but you're not even going to notice as much anymore because you've disempowered them from sticking. We're talking about your deep, dark, mysterious, and toxic thoughts. And we're doing so with Dr. Andrea Bonior. She's author of the book, Detox Your Thoughts, Quit Negative Self-Talk for Good and Discover the Life You've Always Wanted. This is an ad for BetterHelp. Welcome to the world. Please, read your personal owner's manual thoroughly.

In it, you'll find simple instructions for how to interact with your fellow human beings and how to find happiness and peace of mind. Thank you, and have a nice life. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with an owner's manual. That's why there's BetterHelp Online Therapy. Connect with a credentialed therapist by phone, video, or online chat. Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more. That's BetterHelp.com to learn more. That's BetterHelp.com. This winter, take a trip to

Tampa on Porter Airlines. Enjoy the warm Tampa Bay temperatures and warm Porter hospitality on your way there. All Porter fares include beer, wine, and snacks, and free fast-streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation includes good times, relaxation, and great Gulf Coast weather. Visit FlyPorter.com and actually enjoy economy. So, Andrea, in cases of like we were talking about when the party is ruined because something happened. When people start to go down that negative self-talk trail, is it mostly because the party is ruined or the party is ruined and now what will people think? Is a lot of it about what other people will think? So much of it. So much of it. And it's natural for us to compare ourselves to other people and to

care what other people think. You know, I think it's unrealistic for us to compare ourselves to other people and to care what other people think. You know, I think it's unrealistic when people say, oh, I just wish that it didn't bother me what other people think. You know, we are social animals. There are a lot of positives physically and emotionally for having connections to other people. And we need to care what other people think to a certain extent. But where it really gets problematic is when we let what other people think really become so internalized that we're carrying around these yardsticks of other people's judgment all the time. And it makes us do what we call excessively self-monitor.

You know, we think over and over again, is this okay? Did I say this right? Do they like me? And that's what gets in our way. And unfortunately, I do think that that's exacerbated by social media and the way that we relate to each other now, because we do feel like we need to present these aspects of ourselves that are really, you know, created in part for other people's approval. And it does seem when you stop and think about it, that what other people are thinking is nothing. Nobody's thinking about you. They're thinking about their problems and what people

are thinking about them. Don't you think we just over-inflate what other people are thinking? They're probably not thinking all that much. It's very true. It's very true. And there's been some interesting data on that where we can sort of look at those errors that we're making when we estimate how many people are actually noticing what we're doing, how many people are making judgments about it. But I think what's most helpful even is recognizing that there are sometimes judgments that other people are making in a negative way, fairly or unfairly. And we've got to be able to learn to tolerate that and manage that because if we can detach, you know, our own self-worth from that yardstick of other people,

then we're better able to accept, hey, I did get some negative feedback at work. This person was frustrated with me, but we're not going to fundamentally let it actually shake up who we believe ourselves to be. That's the trick. But that does start with relating to those thoughts about other people's opinions in a totally different way. Well, I know one of the suggestions people often have on this topic is to keep track of, write down or pay attention to your thoughts for an entire day. And when you do that, you'll be pretty amazed at how hard you are on yourself. Yeah, it's true. But I also find that really positive in another way, because when we learn that our thoughts are constant running commentary, and sometimes they're random, sometimes they're false, sometimes any sense whatsoever and we can let those thoughts pass, then we can let some of the more difficult thoughts pass as well.

And basically what this ties into, there's a concept called thought-action fusion. And that's the idea that when you have a thought, you equate it to actually acting on it. And folks that have obsessive compulsive disorder really suffer from this. The thoughts are so bothersome. Their obsessions become so, so anxiety provoking. Because in their mind, you know, the fact that I thought that maybe I was going to scream in church, that's just as bad as screaming in church. And so now I've got to put all my mental energy into stopping the thought of screaming in church. And the next thing I know, I'm developing rituals and habits to try to stop this thought.

Whereas in reality, for most of us, we just say, oh, I had a thought of screaming in church. Of course, I'm not going to do it. And we move on, we haven't fused that action to the thought that people can feel so guilty for the thoughts that they have, they can feel so bothered by that. And that's why that cycle starts. Because now the thought itself is so, so bothersome, that we do anything we can to get rid of it. And the next thing you know, that thought is taken over. I mean, the more we try not to think a thought, the more we think it, that's just the way that our brain processes trying to avoid a thought. Because how do you avoid something?

Well, you got to get a good picture of what it looks like, right? If you're trying to avoid some suspect out there, you want to stare at the most wanted poster. We do the same thing with our thoughts. So, so many people are in this battle with their thoughts. So, I actually find it kind of pleasant to think about like, hey, if I were to chart my thoughts all day, some of them are completely unhelpful and random and false and weird. And that's okay, because I can let them pass. Well, it's like you said at the very beginning, as those thoughts come through your head, they have Velcro on them. They're sticky. They tend to stop.

They don't pass through. They get in your head and then they roll around in there and cause all kinds of damage. Exactly. Because we've convinced ourselves that we're supposed to listen to these certain thoughts. And for some people with a history of depression, you know, we've convinced ourselves we have to listen to these thoughts because we really believe them to be true. We do think of ourselves as not worthy. We do think of ourselves as bad people or as people who aren't going to succeed or whatever the case may be. Or someone with an anxiety disorder does think that, you know, that thought that says, oh my gosh, that spider is actually going to kill you and you need to run away. That thought really holds power to

us. And so, you know, it's so personal, this relationship that we have with our thoughts. It's different for every individual. But the more that we can learn to just be gentle as we observe our thoughts and be curious about them without necessarily inviting them to be seen as truthful or to be seen as representative of who we are as people, the more we can make that detachment, we really can become calmer. I mean, it's very striking what the research shows in that regard. There does seem to be, and I think I've heard there's some research about this, but there does

seem to be a time element here. And what I mean by that is that we tend to give a lot of attention to thoughts in the moment they occur. I guess a good example of this is, you know, road rage. How many people who've been arrested for road rage probably the next day thought, well, what was I thinking? But in that moment, nothing is more important than, you know, running this guy off the road. And, and, but, but in the moment that the, that these thoughts occur, they take on monumental importance. Yes, yes, for sure. And I'm so glad you brought that up because that really speaks to the role of these big emotions, these hot feelings that make us even more want to move towards action in some way that usually hurts us, right?

I mean, because the same process of learning to observe our thoughts can also be applied to observing our emotions. And the anger emotion is one that for so many of us, it makes us act in ways that we're about to regret. We might regret it 10 minutes from now or even 10 seconds from now if we've punched a wall or something like that. And so yes, learning to recognize that angry voice. Okay, I feel it coming on. My pulse is quickening. I want to scream. I want to punch, I feel it in my jaw, I feel it in my feet and my palms. What can I do? I can pause. I can label it. I can start with some of those physical techniques,

like the breathing exercises. Because if you've ever worked with somebody who suffers from real rage, you know, and needs help with anger management, the beauty is in the pause. The beauty is in them being able for that split second to take a breath and observe themselves, to step out of that automatic habit of, I'm angry, I need to act on it. You know, my fists feel hot, I need to push them somewhere. The pause is exactly the magic that happens when you get them to choose a new path. And that pause has very much in common with that same pause of learning to relate to your thoughts differently, because what you're doing in that very moment is you're stepping outside of yourself as a mindful observer. Well, there's probably no more intimate relationship than the one between you and your thoughts. So it's good to get some

clarification on what they mean and what's really going on. Dr. Andrea Bonior has been my guest. She's a journalist who writes the popular baggage check advice column for the Washington Post. She's on the faculty of Georgetown University, and she's author of the book Detox Your Thoughts, Quit Negative Self-Talk for Good and Discover the Life You've Always Wanted. There's a link to her book in the show notes. Thanks, Andrea. Thanks so much.

It's been a real pleasure. People who listen to Something You Should Know are curious about the world, looking to hear new ideas and perspectives. So I want to tell you about a podcast that is full of new ideas and perspectives, and one I've started listening to called Intelligence Squared. It's the podcast where great minds meet. Listen in for some great talks on science, tech, politics, creativity, wellness, and a lot more.

A couple of recent examples, Mustafa Suleiman, the CEO of Microsoft AI, discussing the future of technology. That's pretty cool. And writer, podcaster, and filmmaker John Ronson, discussing the rise of conspiracies and culture wars. Intelligence Squared is the kind of podcast that gets you thinking a little more openly about the important conversations going on today.

Being curious, you're probably just the type of person Intelligence Squared is meant for. Check out Intelligence Squared wherever you get your podcasts. Since I host a podcast, it's pretty common for me to be asked to recommend a podcast. And I tell people, if you like something you should know, you're going to like The Jordan Harbinger Show. Every episode is a conversation with a fascinating guest. Of course, a lot of podcasts are conversations with guests, but Jordan does it better than most.

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We worry about skin cancer. But there's probably a lot about your skin you don't know, that you probably should know. And here to tell you is Dr. Monty Lyman. He's a doctor of acute general medicine at Oxford University, and author of the book, The Remarkable Life of the Skin. Hey, Monty. Thanks for having me on, Mike. So I'm always curious, there are so many things you could study and write about, about the

human body. Why the skin? Well, I, like most other of my fellow medical students and doctors, didn't give much thought to the skin. I mean, one of my best friends, who's now a surgeon, calls skin the wrapping paper that covers the presence. And we weren't taught too much about it. And we didn't give it much thought. But I first became interested in the skin when studying for my first medical school exams. Just after a long meal, I went for a lie down. And suddenly I noticed that my face had become incredibly itchy. And then I went over and looked in the mirror and it was raw, red, cracked, and quite a severe facial eczema has shadowed me ever since. And all of my family members blamed the cause of this eruption on fascinatingly different things.

Some said it was genetic. Some said I need to get out more and get some vitamin D. Some said I need to change my diet. Some said there were allergies. And I realized that skin is our most visible organ. It's our largest organ. And we all have different ideas about skin and we all have stories about our skin, but we actually know so little about it. And so out of curiosity, you said all these people said your skin problem was either diet or you're not getting enough sun or whatever. Were any of them right? That's a very good question. And to some extent, maybe all of them were right in different ways.

Our diet does affect our skin in some ways, but actually in interesting ways and in different ways. Our diet does affect our skin in some ways, but actually in interesting ways and in strange ways. So for example, one of the best things that you can do for your skin is eat fresh fruit and vegetables. And actually, studies have shown that eating colourful vegetables that contain carotenoids, so things like peppers and carrots, give skin a glow of all shades of colour of skin, a glow that is deemed more attractive by studies that looked into the opposite sex. Judging people's facial appearances makes people more attractive than other aspects of skin or facial structure and things like that and then if you tell people into the interesting psychology about the skin if you uh tell people one group of people that eating fruit and vegetables is good for reducing your chance of

getting heart disease in the future but then you tell another group that eating colorful vegetables makes you look more attractive. Actually, you're more likely to eat vegetables in the long run if you're in the group that was told it affects your skin. So yes, to some extent, diet does affect our skin. To some extent, allergies and allergens in the environment affect our skin. But also, we're discovering that genetics plays a huge part. We've discovered that eczema, hugely, hugely common and can be devastating to a lot of people's lives. It was long assumed to be basically an allergic disease of allergens coming in and damaging the skin. But actually a large, very large number of people with eczema actually have a mutation in a gene that affects the way the structure of the outside of the skin is formed.

So actually there are cracks that are already in the skin that let the good things out, like water, and the bad things in, like allergens. So it's very complex. There are lots of different things that interplay with each other. One of the interesting things you said, for example, is that diet can affect the skin to some extent. And I think it frustrates people to hear that sometimes because to what extent? Is it a little bit that diet affects your skin

and it makes it a little bit better or a little bit worse? Or does diet have a huge impact on the skin? Yeah, that's a very good question. I think when it comes to foods that can be healthy or good for the skin, there are no silver bullets. But some of the things that have been shown to be most beneficial for the skin are fresh fruits and colorful vegetables. And for example, one study fresh fruits and colorful vegetables. And for example,

one study showed that eating colorful vegetables that contain carotenoids, say things like carrots, peppers, actually make the skin appear more attractive to the opposite sex in studies. But there are no foods that are completely beneficial for the skin but I think the skin encourages a balanced diet and what about the other side of that because how many times have we heard that chocolate causes acne or that fried food causes acne or are there things that you can consume that that actually do damage or or make the skin appear worse? When it comes to acne, for example, the most evidence for something that a food that can cause acne

are foods that have a high glycemic index. So essentially sugary foods and foods that release sugars quickly. So things that contain fat as well. So chocolate actually contains sugars, but haven't been shown to contribute that much to acne. And also dairy has a bit of an effect with acne as well. But apart from that, there's not much evidence that other foods can cause acne. What is acne? I mean, is acne a disease? Is it a condition? Is it just kind of family doctors and a lot of people in society often dismiss acne, but it can have huge repercussions for people's lives. In Britain, roughly one in

five young people who have acne have considered taking their own lives because of how they perceive the effects of it on their skin and their relationships. So it's a considerably important disease and it's a disease of inflammation of the pores of our skin and it is influenced by testosterone which is why it often appears around puberty. And then it seems to, for many people, it seems to just go away. Yeah, it's really interesting and it's not necessarily fully known. It's almost certainly related to a surge in hormones and then hormones going away. Are there myths and misconceptions that persist, things people really don't understand about the skin? There are lots, I think. Diet one that that can cause a lot of confusion another one is the uh is the healthy tan the idea of getting a healthy tan i've got i know someone

who doesn't want to wear any any sunblock and uh thinks that if they get a bit of a tan at the beginning of of the summer it means that protects them from from sunlight later on but there are also other people at the other end of the spectrum who don't want to go in the sun at all they're concerned about getting skin cancer and i think the skin the skin tells us that we need to find find a middle way we need to not be exposed to the sun too much there's a reason the human human skin has melanin which is that the dark pigment um that blocks access to sun was a natural sunblock it blocks sunlight but there's also a reason when humans evolved and you and when humans traveled to climates with lower amounts of sunlight they lost melanin to get more vitamin d when there wasn't enough sunlight so i think the key for that

is to i think to revere but not to fear the sun is to essentially not get sunburned and spend time outdoors which is very important for getting vitamin d and for uh mental and physical health as well but to never get sunburned that's the key and to spend roughly when you're in the sun roughly spend about half the amount of time it would take your skin to to burn what about just general advice what should people do and not do to take care of their skin or does your skin pretty much take care of itself as long as it's relatively clean and not in the burning sun all day that's that's an interesting point because our our skin our outer layer of skin our epidermis is remarkable and the life cycle of the skin cells on

the outside of our skin is about 30 days so our whole um the whole of our skin sheds itself over the period of about a month. It's a slightly grisly image, but essentially what it's doing then is is trying to to make a barrier to the outside world to keep bad things out and good things like moisture inside. So if, say, in your skincare routine, you can definitely over-exfoliate. And if you use too much hot water and things like that, things that break the outer layer of the skin are bad for the skin. So you can, if you have too rigorous a skincare routine, that could be detrimental to our outside layer. But then again, we don't want to just necessarily just leave it a lot of dermatologists recommend exfoliating with gentle gently with warm water maybe twice sometimes three times a week especially if you live in an urban area to get particles off your face so again similar to to diet and sunlight is about uh moderation uh following a middle path wait exfoliate with water

isn't that just rinsing well essentially that's the the purpose of sort of exfoliating or washing our faces is just is to get essentially get the dirt away and just to let the skin build itself back up and remove pollutants from the skin. So I think a very gentle skincare routine, just doing whatever you do gently, keeping it simple. There is certainly in our culture this kind of never-ending quest for youth. Are there things that you can put on your skin that really do get rid of wrinkles and really do roll back the years? For thousands of years, people have tried lots of different things to try and preserve youth on the skin. One of my favorites is the Empress Elizabeth of Austria, who used to have a mix of spermaceti wax from the heads of whales,

and would mix them in with berries and an assortment of other things. And then she would slap that and some veal on her face and in a leather made to measure mask and would wear that overnight in the hope of achieving eternal youth. But actually, over these years, a few things have been proven to have some kind of effect. For example, Queen Cleopatra used to bathe in the milk of donkeys. And actually, molecules in milk and in things like lemons called alpha hydroxy acids have got some evidence of slowing skin aging. But essentially, when it comes to slowing down aging, by far the most effective thing is sunscreen. UVA, one of the wavelengths of ultraviolet is the greatest contributor to aging.

More than everything else, all the other factors combined. So sun cream is the most effective anti-aging cream. And then the only other thing that's been shown to be effective is retinoic acid. And various forms of retinol are available. But they're the main things that have been that have evidence behind them to to work so my milk bath and slapping veal on my face may not be giving me the results i was hoping for maybe not the the slapping meat in the face there might be something in that but um if it's sustainable i think the milk the milk bath has a little bit of evidence behind it. Well, it's pretty expensive.

Gets a bit costly. It's a lot of milk. There is a big connection between the skin and fingernails and hair. It's all kind of part of the same thing, right? Yes. Hair and fingernails are all known as appendages of the skin they're all part of the skin system and say fingernails and hair are made of of keratin which is a really strong powerful protein it's interesting that actually the surface of all of our skin is is made of keratinocytes

those same those same cells so it's exactly the same substance essentially that covers our soft skin that we find in our in our nails um and and our hair but hair is fascinating and mysterious and hair growth and hair loss is is very interesting if you with male pattern baldness if you transplant uh you take an area of skin with hairs on it from a part of the head, and you just transplant it to another bit of the body, say the arm, the hairs will fall out at exactly the same time with balding as it would have done if it was still on the head at roughly the same time. And it's absolutely fascinating. I'm not sure about the mechanisms behind that, but it's very mysterious. that you have a friend who calls it, you know, the wrapping paper that keeps everything inside, that because people see our skin, people with skin problems, from your experience, you've found, have a tough time. What I discovered about the skin was that the skin is our most human organ,

and it should be an organ that makes us respect ourselves and our own bodies, but also respect the millions across the world who suffer in or for their skin because of lots of different skin diseases. in Tanzania, and I was treating a young man who had albinism, where he didn't have any melanin, so his skin was completely white, and he was very vulnerable to skin cancers. And I was trying to treat him for some of his skin cancers and his precancerous lesions. But when I spoke to him, I realized that he wasn't bothered about the physical aspects of it and his risk of cancer. He was worried about his fellow humans who were hunting him and other people with albinism down and trying to kill them and to sell their body parts on the black market. And it made me amazed and terrified that a mutation in one gene that just affected the melanin in this young man's skin had made him a social outcast. So I hope when people look at their skin and look into skin, that they respect their own bodies, but they also have an understanding for their fellow humans and

realize that many people, many, many people have different skin diseases and there are millions suffering because of them. Well, thanks for sharing that and the interesting information about your skin. Dr. Monty Lyman has been my guest. He practices acute general medicine at Oxford University and he's author of the book, The Remarkable Life of the Skin. There's a link to his book in the show notes. Thank you for coming on, Monty.

Brilliant. Thanks very much, Mike. If you share a bed, the distance between you and your partner could be revealing. In a study of 500 participating couples, those who reported that they slept touching each other also reported happier relationships than those who didn't. And it seems the farther apart the couple slept, the less satisfied they were apt to be in their relationship. Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire in England,

says it's worth noticing that distance in bed. If the gap is increasing, it could suggest the quality of a relationship is weakening. The study also found that 42% of the couples surveyed sleep back-to-back, while 31% sleep facing in the same direction. Just 4% say they sleep facing each other. 12% of the couples slept less than an inch apart, and 2% measured that gap at 30 inches or more. And that is something you should know.

There is no better way to show your support for this podcast than to buy the products and services from our sponsors. If you use the promo codes or special URLs that we have in the commercials and are also listed in the show notes, the sponsors know we sent you, and that helps us. I'm Micah Ruthers. Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. Do you love Disney?

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