Something You Should Know - SYSK Choice: The Power of Pictures to Communicate & The Science of Being Attractive

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Starting point is 00:00:31 Today on Something You Should Know, some simple actions that show just how much you really care about the important people in your life. Then, why the next time you need to make a point or sell an idea, draw a picture, even if you can't draw to save your life. Then, why the next time you need to make a point or sell an idea, draw a picture, even if you can't draw to save your life. The moment that someone pulls out a piece of paper or steps up to the whiteboard and says, let me explain my idea with a picture. Magic takes place in the room every single time. Plus, have you ever had a bleach stain in your laundry even when you didn't use

Starting point is 00:01:05 bleach? I'll solve that common mystery. And what attracts people to other people? For instance, do men really prefer blondes? They do seem to have a slight edge. First, it says, you know, the singer Blondie put it, being blonde is like walking around under your own spotlight, and men can't help but to notice. All this today on Something You Should Know. From the kitchen to the laundry room, your home deserves the best. Give it the upgrade it deserves at Best Buy's Ultimate Appliance Event. Save up to $1,000 on two or more major appliances.

Starting point is 00:01:42 Shop now, in-store, or online at BestBuy.ca. Exclusions apply. Something you should know. Fascinating intel. The world's top experts. And practical advice you can use in your life. Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. Hi, welcome.

Starting point is 00:02:03 I know I've mentioned this in an earlier episode, but I am becoming more and more reliant on my Alexa smart speaker that I got from Amazon. At first, I was a little hesitant. I didn't know what to use it for. And now I use it all the time. I tell her to set a timer for 20 minutes when I'm cooking, or I'll ask her what the weather is. But you can ask her anything.

Starting point is 00:02:28 Alexa, who won the 1982 World Series? St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series in 1982. The reason I bring it up is I find myself listening to more and more podcasts on Alexa. And if you're a podcast listener, it might be worth checking out if you don't have a smart speaker. I know most podcast listening takes place with earphones on a cell phone or a tablet, but I find it's really handy to listen on a smart speaker. And it's easy. I say, Alexa, you know, play something you should know getting the latest episode of something you should know here it is from tune in today on something anyway there's lots of different smart speakers to choose

Starting point is 00:03:12 from and and but if you like listening to podcasts or or whatever i i just think having one of these things is really a cool cool thing first up today if you want to show someone that you really, really care, and why wouldn't you want to show someone you really, really care, here are some really great ideas. Think of this. Small, frequent gifts count much more than rare, splashy ones. That's not to say that flowers and jewels aren't welcome or good gifts, but frequent contact is one of the best signs of commitment. Your mom will appreciate a large box of candy on Valentine's Day, but if she doesn't hear from you again until Mother's Day,

Starting point is 00:03:56 she really won't feel the love, according to Butler University professor of communication Jamie Comstock. Touching matters. Whether you're hugging your dad or caressing your lover, touch telegraphs affection faster than words do. Thank your brain and your skin's abundant nerve endings for why touch feels so nice, according to David Givens,

Starting point is 00:04:21 director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington. Mirror activities show that you're in sync, so things like dancing or taking a walk allow you to get in step with each other, and that actually reinforces closeness. Slightly complicated tasks, they send a real message. When you plan every detail of a trip, or when you have a lifetime of old photos or videos converted to digital, it says, I'm willing to put in the extra effort for you, and that is magic. And that is something you should know. Now that you're an adult, when you communicate, you use your words.

Starting point is 00:05:07 Spoken words, written words, that's how you communicate your ideas. But when you were a kid, you were just as likely to draw. You would draw your ideas because that's what kids do. They draw. Then, as we grow up, we become more verbal, and we write, and it's all about the words. But maybe we're missing something by not drawing, even if you think your drawing is terrible. That's according to my guest, Dan Rome. Dan has written books, given talks, and consulted companies about the importance of drawing to communicate ideas. One of his books, his first one, is Back of the Napkin, Solving Problems and Selling Ideas with Pictures.

Starting point is 00:05:49 Hey, Dan, welcome. So where does this come from? What prompted you to look into the idea that drawing has real benefits? Just from the earliest days that I can remember, I always drew. And when I started out in business, my first job was as a graphic designer, and that made sense because everybody drew. And when I started out in business, my first job was as a graphic designer, and that made sense because everybody drew. But then as I moved into managing businesses and more into management consulting, I realized that it made me pretty unique because nobody in business draws. And it

Starting point is 00:06:16 would be really funny because every time I was in a meeting, a business meeting, whether it was with a client or with my team members or what have you, and I would start drawing something out, it would be as if magic would happen in the room because people would start paying an extraordinary amount of attention and participating in the conversations in ways that they wouldn't when we were all just talking or sharing bullet points. And it kind of surprised me that there weren't more people in business who did more drawing. It is okay to draw. Drawing is a great way to solve problems and communicate, and the best news is that we all already know how to

Starting point is 00:06:50 do it. Well, but wait, I mean, a lot of us are not very good at drawing and are frankly embarrassed by our drawing. Well, the interesting thing is this. You were, Mike, at one time, I'm pretty convinced of this, you were a kindergartner. If you go into a class of kindergartners, so it's a class full of six-year-olds, and, you know, of course, with the teacher's permission, you ask those six-year-olds how many of them can draw, every one of them will raise their hands. And if you ask them how many can read, maybe two will raise their hands. But if you come back to the same class ten years later, they're 16 years old now, they're in 10th grade, and you ask how many can draw, two will raise their hands. But if you come back to the same class 10 years later, they're 16 years

Starting point is 00:07:25 old now, they're in 10th grade, and you ask how many can draw, two will raise their hands. How many can read? They'll all raise their hands. And my point isn't that there's anything wrong with reading, but I mean, that's reading and writing, of course, is elemental to us, but so is vision. So is our ability to draw and sketch and understand the world in a visual way. And the only problem that we have is no one ever really teaches us how to take advantage of these tools that we're already born with. And what's interesting when you think about it is, you know, we don't necessarily think using pictures is such a great idea, but we always like it when other people do.

Starting point is 00:08:02 When we're the recipient, pictures can make things more interesting, can make things clearer. We like pictures. Absolutely. Yeah, that's exactly right. And why is it that we respond so well when someone is drawing a picture for us? Can we turn that around so that we can all then use that to become better at drawing the pictures ourselves? Since we're already good at seeing them, I thought, well, maybe it's not that big a step

Starting point is 00:08:29 to becoming better at drawing them, regardless of our own sort of artistic talent or belief in our artistic abilities. Well, why is it that we are visual and we like pictures? We are primarily visual creatures right from the day that we are born. Humans are extraordinarily visual. You know, well over half the neurons in our brains that process sense information are processing visual information. and ideas through shapes and arrows and boxes and circles. It's almost the way we're programmed to think. When we're looking at a picture, the concept that can be represented by a picture is typically far more memorable and far more sticky than the same message delivered solely in words. And here's why. When we read a message or when we are told a story, it activates a lot of the centers of our brain, and that's great. But primarily it focuses

Starting point is 00:09:33 still on the kind of the verbal side. When we, in addition to the words, are also delivered a picture, regardless of how simple it might be, we all of a sudden start activating completely different parts of the brain. So we actually get kind of a more whole mind experience, if you will, which means guaranteed, we are more likely to understand the idea and more likely to remember it. Because not only do we have kind of the verbal hooks, but we have the visual hooks as well. Okay, okay, but that's fine for people who can draw well. But for the rest of us who are embarrassed by how badly we draw, I just don't think my drawing is going to convey the message that I think you're talking about.

Starting point is 00:10:19 I really like to make the point with people that the pictures that I'm talking about are not beautiful artistic renderings. You know, certainly there are a lot with people that the pictures that I'm talking about are not beautiful artistic renderings. You know, certainly there are a lot of people in the world who are really, really good artists, who are really good at drawing and capturing what they see out there in the world and then representing it on paper to the rest of us. That's great, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about pictures that are so elemental and so simple. Circles, boxes, arrows, smiley faces, stick figures.

Starting point is 00:10:50 Really, that's the kind of thing which we all can draw. Can you give me an example of a drawing, a relatively simple drawing, that made a point better than the words could have ever done it? Absolutely. The most famous back-of-the-napkin sketch in business of all time, it's not one that I can take credit for, but it's the back-of-the-napkin sketch that started Southwest Airlines. And this has become such famous kind of business lore that if you actually go to the Southwest Airlines website and you go into their kind of their corporate history section, they actually have a facsimile of that original napkin. And the story goes like this. The two founders of Southwest Airlines were sitting in a club down in San Antonio in the late

Starting point is 00:11:36 1960s. One was a lawyer and one was an airline guy. And they were thinking about how they might be able to start an airline that would allow Texas business people to travel between the three biggest cities in Texas, so between Dallas, Houston, and San Antonio, which you could not easily commute between by air at that time because they were only served by the major airlines going through hubs and spokes. So if you wanted to fly between two of those cities, you could, but if you wanted to do all three cities, you'd end up having to go through Denver or Phoenix or something else. And so literally what happened is Rollin King and Herb Kelleher sat there on the back of a napkin in the bar, drew out a map, a little map of Texas.

Starting point is 00:12:19 And on that map, they drew in this triangle that connected, as I say, Dallas, Houston, and San Antonio. And that became the first route map for Southwest Airlines. And that was the start of the company. They had such a clear vision of this very simple idea that would essentially connect three dots on the back of a napkin. So that's a great example. And, in fact, while you were talking, I went to the Southwest Airlines website and found that picture of that napkin and everything else you've said makes a lot of sense but how do you know this really works in real life how do you know that pictures really have this impact when we need them to because I do

Starting point is 00:12:58 this every single day many many times a day and I work with dozens and dozens of major companies across the country. And what I've seen is that in every single meeting, it always works. It is magic. The moment that someone pulls out a piece of paper or steps up to the whiteboard and says, let me explain my idea with a picture, magic takes place in the room every single time. It's almost unavoidable that people cannot help but participate at a great level, at an enthusiastic level, when they see someone drawing an idea in front of them. We're talking about using pictures to sell your ideas and make your point, and my guest is Dan Rome. He's author of the book Back of the Napkin,

Starting point is 00:13:46 solving problems and selling ideas with pictures. This is an ad for BetterHelp. Welcome to the world. Please read your personal owner's manual thoroughly. In it, you'll find simple instructions for how to interact with your fellow human beings and how to find happiness and peace of mind. Thank you and have a nice life. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with an owner's manual. That's why there's BetterHelp Online Therapy. Connect with a credentialed therapist by phone, video, or online chat. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more. That's betterhelp.com. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations.

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Starting point is 00:14:45 Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. So Dan, a concern I think people might have about what you're talking about is that there are times when a picture has the potential to oversimplify. And maybe that's one of the reasons people don't use pictures in business anyway, because it oversimplifies something that needs more fleshing out. It needs the words to explain it. And a picture, it just isn't enough.

Starting point is 00:15:15 You're absolutely right, and it's a critical distinction to make. I really do emphasize the notion of trying to come up with something that simple, but it's often, often you're right. Many of the business problems that we deal with are neither simple problems, nor do they have simple solutions. Where visuals come in and play a really powerful role is even if you don't want to oversimplify, and let's face it, you don't usually want to oversimplify because you can create more problems than you originally had. A picture still is a fantastic way to achieve clarity around a complex idea, far more so than that same idea conveyed, that same complex idea, conveyed either through a series of bullet points or through a verbal description. In fact, where pictures really come into their own is as the idea becomes more complex,

Starting point is 00:16:07 we demand more and more that we need to have real clarity around the idea. We don't want to oversimplify, but using a picture to break a problem down into its component parts might still give us a complex picture, but at least it's one where we are clear on being able to see all of the pieces and their interactions. So I would like to say this, that a picture is a fantastic way to create a simple idea. It is also a fantastic way to clarify a complex idea. But the fascinating part, again again is when you start to nail down what your problem is

Starting point is 00:16:48 on a piece of paper, people will participate in understanding its complexity and will participate longer than they would be able to if you were just talking about it. Well, and I think everybody knows that on some level. I mean, whenever you're in a classroom or watching a speaker speak, whenever they say, let me draw you a picture, it just sucks you right in. It makes you lean in and pay more attention than to just listen to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you point out too,

Starting point is 00:17:17 I know Pete's Coffee was or is one of your clients, and how you can use pictures to explain things to people that would take pages and pages of words, but a simple picture makes it easy. What we actually did is we mapped out what does a coffee store look like, where is the ideal position of all of the people behind the bar, where is the optimal position for all of the equipment and the various tools that they need and the brewing machines and all of that. And the moment that a new employee arrives, it's very easy to show them a map as opposed to giving them a very long description and say, follow this map to understand where you

Starting point is 00:17:59 should be at different points during the day. And the moment that the coffee shop starts to get really busy, here are some alternate positions that you can fall into, and they're all mapped out. So the pictures work for explaining complex ideas as well. And as I listen to you explain it, it just makes all the sense in the world. I mean, why make somebody read pages and pages of text, or spend all this time talking to them, trying to get them to understand something, when a simple picture could give them that aha moment where it all comes together? Or at least a picture could make the understanding of all those words a lot easier.

Starting point is 00:18:41 Exactly. I'll tell you, it never ceases to mystify me when I'm reading an article in a magazine or in a newspaper, and the article is essentially describing numbers. You know, it might be an article about the percent of people that see movies or how a percentage is dropping on Wall Street or something, especially these days with lots of talk about the economy, how many articles do we see that from end to end are essentially a list of numbers? You know, 22% of homes or 35% of people or 55% of business people, what have you. The fact is when we read those numbers, they mean nothing to our brain.

Starting point is 00:19:21 They mean absolutely nothing. And I often find myself saying, why didn't they just create a very simple picture? They could have replaced most of this article with a very simple chart that would have explained these numbers, and they would have explained them in a way that people could look at and really get. The fact is, when you read an article that verbally states a series of numbers, especially if they're percents. When you read it, you think you're getting the information, but the fact is your brain is just scanning right over it. Your brain doesn't know what the difference between 35% and 65% is in a numerical way. If you show the difference, then you can see it. And, you know, a lot of times people writing articles

Starting point is 00:20:02 will take advantage of that to skew the presentation of their idea or the presentation of data. And in fact, I heard there's a really funny one. The other day I was reading something that said, my goodness, we really have to worry about absenteeism in businesses on Mondays and Fridays, because did you realize that 40% of absenteeism takes place on a Monday and a Friday? Holy smoke, doesn't that sound incredible? Well, guess what? Monday and Friday is exactly 40% of the work week. So, in fact, saying that 40% of absenteeism takes place on a Monday or a Friday

Starting point is 00:20:35 is saying that the exact same amount takes place on those days as every other day. So it's one of those things where when you read it, you think, oh my goodness, 40%, that's crazy. But if you were to map it out on a piece of paper on the back of a napkin, how many days are there in a week? There are five working days. Each one of those days is therefore worth 20%. If people are taking 40% off on Monday and Friday,

Starting point is 00:21:02 what do we have to worry about? I guess my point is, pictorially, the point would have been brought home. Verbally, it's very possible to, and it's very easy, in fact, to trick our minds into thinking that something is more or less important than it is. And when you throw in a word like a whopping 40%, that skews it even more. But I want to get back to this idea of drawing pictures, because when someone like me doesn't feel very good about the way they draw, especially in a business setting, how do I get over that? I mean, I'm going to be drawing stick figures and really stupid-looking pictures.

Starting point is 00:21:45 That's the best I can do. Okay. I'm so glad you asked me that. I've actually come up with something that I call the Ten Commandments of Napkin Sketches, and commandment number one says this. The way you start any picture is to draw a circle in the middle of your piece of paper and give it a name. And what happens is, by virtue of simply drawing the picture you've gotten started now the name that i want you to give that first circle

Starting point is 00:22:12 is the most obvious thing you could think of kind of what's on your mind when you started drawing the picture you might label the circle or you might label it my business or you might label it today or you might label it my profit, or you might label it today, or you might label it my profit. It really doesn't matter. Just whatever the problem is that's in your mind, draw a circle, and the first

Starting point is 00:22:33 thing that comes to mind, name the circle that. Then, after you've done that, your mind, believe it or not, is already starting to kick into gear. It wants to do this. Draw another circle a little ways away. And what would be the logical second name? If the first thing I drew was me, well, it's probably logical that the second picture would be you. If the first picture was my business, the second picture would be, say, my competitor. If the first picture I labeled today, because let's say I'm worried about time, I'm worried about getting a bunch of things done on time, maybe I would label the second picture tomorrow. And now make a line connecting those two pictures. What does that line represent? What's the connection between my business and my competitor? Or what's the connection between today and tomorrow?

Starting point is 00:23:27 And now go back and look at those two circles you drew and ask yourself, are they the right size? Meaning, am I bigger than my competitor or am I smaller than my competitor? And anyway, once you've gotten that process going, Mike, the whole thing starts to flow. Because all you're doing, by starting with that one elemental circle and giving it a label, and notice the importance of a word here. This isn't intended to be word-free. But once you've got that, what you're doing is you're essentially mapping out the way we think about things. We start with a central concept, and then we start to branch off from there. And the more branches we make, the more ideas will kick in. And what'll

Starting point is 00:24:12 actually happen before you know it, it won't be that you won't know what to draw next. The problem you'll have is what not to draw next, because all of a sudden you'll start drawing circles all over the place. And that's when you know you're on a roll. Well, I like the idea because I know for me, and I'm sure for a lot of people, visual helps. It always helps. Explain things, get a point across, whatever you're trying to do. A picture, you know, a picture's worth a thousand words, but a picture really does help. And I like the way that you're making this accessible to everybody.

Starting point is 00:24:44 You don't have to be an artist to use a picture in order to make your point. My guest has been Dan Rome. Dan is author of the book, Back of the Napkin, Solving Problems and Selling Ideas with Pictures. I've got a link to his website and a link to his book in the show notes. Thanks, Dan. Metrolinks and Crosslinks are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful along our tracks, and only make left

Starting point is 00:25:23 turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. People who listen to Something You Should Know are curious about the world, looking to hear new ideas and perspectives. So I want to tell you about a podcast that is full of new ideas and perspectives and one I've started listening to called Intelligence Squared. It's the podcast where great minds meet. Listen in for some great talks on science, tech, politics, creativity, wellness, and a lot more.

Starting point is 00:25:57 A couple of recent examples, Mustafa Suleiman, the CEO of Microsoft AI, discussing the future of technology. That's pretty cool. And writer, podcaster, and filmmaker John Ronson discussing the rise of conspiracies and culture wars. Intelligence Squared is the kind of podcast that gets you thinking a little more openly about the important conversations going on today. Being curious, you're probably just the type of person Intelligence Squared is meant for. Check out Intelligence Squared wherever you get your podcasts.

Starting point is 00:26:35 Have you ever wondered why it is you find some people attractive but not others? Why do some women like bald men? Why do some men prefer blonde women? What goes on under the surface that draws us to some people and not others is pretty fascinating. Jenna Pincott decided to see if she could unlock the mystery of all of this and maybe give us all a better understanding of human attraction. The results of her research are contained in the book, Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes? Bodies, Behavior, and Brains, The Science Behind Sex, Love, and Attraction. Hi, Jenna. So I'm going to make a guess that there is some personal connection here, that you decided to look into this because of something or someone

Starting point is 00:27:23 in your life or someone who was attracted to you or something? It went back a couple years ago to when I was dating a wonderful guy. He had a great sense of style, a great sense of humor, great job, all of that. But there was a big problem. I hated the way that he smelled. So, science geek that I am, I decided to research the problem. There are many, many studies out there that are on attraction and love and science, and I thought they'd make a fascinating topic for a book. Really? You hated the way he smelled? Yeah, it was just, you know, just his body odor, the way he smelled when he first came out of the shower.

Starting point is 00:28:08 Yeah, so it wasn't that he smelled bad, if you didn't like the smell when he came out of the shower. It was just his scent, his smell, turned you off. Yeah, his smell, his unique smell. His just was unappealing. And was it enough to cause you to break up? We broke up, yeah, we did. We broke up a couple months later, and I didn't tell him why. I didn't tell him that was a big reason.

Starting point is 00:28:33 And then a few months after that, I actually met a guy whose smell I really liked, and now that guy's my husband. Well, I assume there are other things about this guy you like other than his smell, but clearly scent is important to you. And so let's go down some of these other things that you looked at as to what makes people attractive or not attractive and see what the research says. So do gentlemen prefer blondes? Well, they do seem to have a slight edge, and for a few reasons. First, it's as, you know, the singer Blondie put it, being blonde is like walking around under your own spotlight.

Starting point is 00:29:12 It's rarer and brighter than the other hair colors. It just pops out more, and men can't help but to notice. It's also associated with youth. We all know hair darkens with age, so being blonde, even you know, being a bottled blonde is a sign of youth and fertility. Why are high heels sexy, and why do they make, for many men, make women look more attractive? Basically, heels make your legs look longer and long legs are associated with good health and to a certain extent everyone has a bias for healthy looking mates. In fact, there's one really fun study that shows that legs that are five percent and even up to ten percent

Starting point is 00:30:00 longer than average for a given height, you know, are basically considered ideal. And for most women, that means if you wear heels that are one and a half to three inches high, they'll put you in that developmental sweet spot. I mean, that's just one theory about why high heels might be sexy. What about long hair? Why do a lot of men find long hair attractive? Long hair is basically, you can think of it as your track record. Hair is a record of the medicines you've taken, the food you've eaten, the care you've given it. It's basically a sign of good health if you can grow your hair long. On the inside jacket of your book, a statement you make caught my eye. It says, So explain that.

Starting point is 00:30:55 Well, when you fall in love, basically certain areas of your brain are activated. You get a huge dopamine rush. The reward areas of your brain are activated. You get a huge dopamine rush. The reward areas of your brain light up. Most interesting to me, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain associated with critical judgment, actually goes radio silence. And the same goes for the amygdala, which is associated with fear and anxiety. So here's an interesting question you tackle.

Starting point is 00:31:25 Is there an ideal number of people you should date before you settle down? Well, mathematicians have looked at the question, and they've come up with various mathematical models. One computer scientist came up with a model that shows that if you're very, very picky and you want to find one of the top ten guys for you, you basically meet 37 people first, and then whatever guy you meet after that who exceeds any of the 37 you've already met is most likely to be the best for you.

Starting point is 00:32:01 So you go out with 37 people, not 36 or 38, you go out with 37 people and then the next one who's better than those 37, that's your dream date. Well, you know, it sounds like maybe there could be something to that, but I don't know anybody who would ever do that. Well, I want to ask you, since you brought it up at the beginning, I want to ask you about smell, because you said that you dated a guy and his scent, his smell, put you off so much that you broke up with him. So talk about smell. How important is it? Well, one possible explanation is that it has something to do with pheromones. And pheromones are basically chemical signals that may subtly influence the behavior of others. And they're found in sweat, saliva, and other bodily fluids.

Starting point is 00:32:58 Some pheromones are linked to a cluster of immune system cells called the major histocompatibility complex, or MHC. Studies have found that women prefer the smells of men who basically have immune system genes that are mostly unlike their own, and that may be because babies have stronger immune systems that fight a wider range of diseases when they get different gene variants from their moms and dads. So it's possible that my date and I just had a lot of overlapping gene variants, and that may be why I did not like the way he smelled. Yeah, it's kind of like dating your brother.

Starting point is 00:33:39 Yeah, actually, I found that people really don't like the smells of, especially women, really don't like the smells of their dads or their brothers. This is interesting. Talk about how men generally are more attracted to curvy women, and yet there's this pressure for women to be very thin, and it seems to be two things fighting each other here. You know, that is an interesting question. A lot of psychologists think it's culture that's driving women to basically be anorexic,

Starting point is 00:34:16 because men really do seem to prefer medium-weight, curvy women. And there's actually one really fascinating study or theory that suggests that women are maybe starving themselves subconsciously, first, you know, to compete against other women for, you know, whoever can be skinniest, but also maybe because they're suspending their fertility until their career or romantic ambitions have been met. Basically, when you're anorexic or you starve yourself like that, you stop ovulating, and it's like your reproductive system goes into hibernation. A question I know a lot of people have joked about and talked about, and a lot of nice guys have wondered about, that it does seem to some that some women

Starting point is 00:35:08 are attracted to bad boys. Is there been any research to back any of that up? You know, there are actually very interesting studies on that too, especially in that, you know, ovulation window again, those five days in the middle of a woman's menstrual cycle, she's likely to be more attracted to those bad boy types, you know, the types of husky voice guys or guys with strong jaws, guys who maybe are a little emotionally distant or high testosterone. They're not likely to have long-term relationships with them, but they might be more attracted to those guys at that time of their cycles. But why?

Starting point is 00:35:47 What's the connection? It's related to levels of, basically, levels of estrogen and testosterone, they think. Right before that five-day window, women's hormone levels spike like that. They get more testosterone, more estrogen, and they're just more sexually tuned in like that. Their sex drives are higher. I've heard this theory before, and you address it as well, this idea that if you really want to deepen your relationship with someone, go on a date where you do something exciting or dangerous like a roller coaster ride or a scary movie.

Starting point is 00:36:26 So what's going on there? Psychologists call that excitation transfer. And yes, it basically means being so aroused by something, so hyper-stimulated by something like riding a roller coaster or parachuting or skiing or something like that, that there's a crossover to their sex drive. Their sex drives also rev up. The theory is that it has a lot to do with how super-stimulated the amygdala is, and the amygdala is the part of the brain associated with not only fear and excitement, but also sex drive.

Starting point is 00:37:03 So the more stimulated that amygdala is, and the more other hormones are rushing, like endorphins and adrenaline, all that, the more likely that person is to also be sexually stimulated. So knowing what you know, and having looked at all you've looked at, what's your advice in terms of being more attractive to someone? How do you get someone's attention? Well, my answer to that would be never, ever underestimate the power of body language.

Starting point is 00:37:36 There was one really interesting study that showed that women who made 35 or more signals an hour, and that means like smiling or making eye contact or flicking their hair or, you know, like seductively rubbing their wine glass, something like that, were approached by an average of four men in that hour. Whereas other women, even more attractive women, weren't approached at all. Just because of the way they were sending out those signals? Yeah, just body language signals. They grab a person's attention. They show that you're, you know, I guess you're available and interested. In the desire to be attractive and appealing to someone else, what is it that makes someone attractive,

Starting point is 00:38:26 makes someone else beautiful? I mean, clearly, some of it is in the eye of the beholder, but there are objective standards of beauty and attractiveness. So what are they? I hate reducing it all to science, but there are a few factors that people consider when they say a face is beautiful, just technically speaking. First of all, how average that face is. In other words, how close to the norm. I mean, not many of us actually have average faces. Some of us might

Starting point is 00:38:58 have larger noses than usual or eyes that are wider set. But basically, faces that are close to the average are considered very attractive. Also, faces that are very symmetrical, you know, eyes the same size, eyebrows that are basically the same height, all that's considered very attractive also. And a third quality is they call sexual dimorphism, which is how feminine or how masculine you are. If you're a woman, they think that, you know, the most attractive faces have chins that are narrower than the top half of their faces, and somewhat larger lips, larger eyes, qualities like that. You talk about how size matters, but you're talking about pupils, and that big pupils are a good thing. Well, big pupils are a sign of arousal, and perhaps, at least on a subconscious level,

Starting point is 00:39:57 men notice them and are attracted to them for that reason. There was one classic experiment in which men were asked to look at two pictures of a woman, identical in every way except pupil size, and then when asked to pick which one was more attractive, the guys chose the picture with the big pupils, and then when asked why, the men really couldn't explain. So what is the strongest signal you can give to get someone's attention and to show you're interested?

Starting point is 00:40:27 Well, this one's pretty simple. It's basically smile and make direct eye contact. When a woman smiles at a man and she's sending a signal that she's interested and then the smile seals the deal. I think that's a pretty strong signal. Just eye contact and smiling. Not one without the other. Both together. And so what makes a good smile? If eye contact and smiling are important, how do you make sure you have the right smile? Researchers have looked at this. They think that the nicest smiles, the best, most attractive smiles are the natural ones, of course. They're the ones that, you know, basically energize muscles around the eyes.

Starting point is 00:41:11 You know, people who have crow's feet actually have done a lot of natural smiling in their lives. And at least on a subconscious level, we can tell a natural smile apart from a big fake one. There is something about looking at it through this lens of science and hormones and procreation and keeping the species going that really does suck some of the romance right out of it. But it is interesting nonetheless. Jenna Pincott has been my guest. The book is Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?

Starting point is 00:41:44 Bodies, Behavior, and Brains? The Science Behind Sex, Love, and Attraction. There's a link to her book in the show notes. Thank you, Jenna. Here is something I am almost positive has happened to you. It has certainly happened to me and left me wondering, and that is you're doing laundry, you're taking the clothes out of the dryer, and you're getting ready to put them away. Usually it's towels, and you notice a bleach stain on the towel. And you didn't use bleach in the laundry.

Starting point is 00:42:16 So how did you get a bleach stain? Well, according to the people at Real Simple Magazine, it probably came from your bathroom. For example, whitening toothpaste, acne medication, hydrogen peroxide, any product that claims to whiten and brighten or disinfect can leave a bleach stain. So after you brush your teeth, if you wipe your face on a towel, the toothpaste on your face can bleach that spot on the towel. If you get it on your hands and then wipe your hands on the towel,

Starting point is 00:42:46 or it splashes onto your clothes, you'll get a bleach stain, even though there's no bleach around. So the trick is to treat those products as if they are bleach and wash your hands after using them, and be careful not to get them on your clothes or towels. And that is something you should know. I invite you to follow us on Facebook or Twitter. We post interesting content up there that we don't put in the show that I think you'll

Starting point is 00:43:12 enjoy. And please leave a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast. I'm Micah Ruthers. Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. Do you love Disney? Do you love Top Ten lists? Then you are going to love our hit podcast, Disney Countdown. I'm Megan, the Magical Millennial.

Starting point is 00:43:30 And I'm the Dapper Danielle. On every episode of our fun and family-friendly show, we count down our top 10 lists of all things Disney. The parks, the movies, the music, the food, the lore. There is nothing we don't cover on our show. We are famous for rabbit holes, Disney-themed games, and fun facts you didn't know you needed. I had Danielle and Megan record some answers to seemingly meaningless questions. I asked Danielle, what insect song is typically higher pitched in hotter temperatures and

Starting point is 00:43:59 lower pitched in cooler temperatures? You got this. No, I didn't. Don't believe that. About a witch coming true? Well, I didn't. Don't believe that. About a witch coming true? Well, I didn't either. Of course, I'm just a cicada. I'm crying.

Starting point is 00:44:11 I'm so sorry. You win that one. So if you're looking for a healthy dose of Disney magic, check out Disney Countdown wherever you get your podcasts. Contained herein are the heresies of red off punt wine erstwhile monk turned traveling medical investigator join me as i study the secrets of the divine plagues and uncover the blasphemous truth that ours is not a loving god and we are not its favored children. The Heresies of Randolph Bantwine, wherever podcasts are available.

Something You Should Know - SYSK Choice: The Power of Pictures to Communicate & The Science of Being Attractive

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