Something You Should Know - SYSK Choice: What It Means To Be Spiritual & Taming Your Survival Instinct

Episode Date: March 7, 2020

When was the last time you cleaned your credit or debit cards? Or the remote for the TV? There are a lot of things around the house you never think to clean – but you will after you hear this. https://www.fitandfabliving.com/general-health/6435-seven-surprisingly-dirty-surfaces/ How spiritual are you? Psychiatrist Dr. Anna Yusim, author of the book Fulfilled: How the Science of Spirituality Can Help You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life (http://amzn.to/2tglpsf), discusses what it means to be spiritual and what recent scientific research says about the benefits of spirituality both for your health and happiness. Don’t you hate it when you grab a pen to write something and no ink comes out? I’ll tell you what the experts say to get the ink flowing again quickly. https://www.wikihow.com/Restart-a-Dry-Ball-Point-Pen There’s a problem with your survival instinct. Dr. Marc Schoen, Assistant Clinical Professor at UCLA’s Geffen School of Medicine and author of the book, Your Survival Instinct is Killing You (http://amzn.to/2uK7sHw) explains how our survival instinct was meant to keep us safe from imminent danger – like a lion who wants to eat you. But today, we don’t need it for that. Consequently, that instinct can cause problems if we don’t learn to regulate it. It can cause us to act inappropriately and can take a toll on our health. So he explains how to manage that instinct and turn down the intensity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a listener to Something You Should Know, I can only assume that you are someone who likes to learn about new and interesting things and bring more knowledge to work for you in your everyday life. I mean, that's kind of what Something You Should Know was all about. And so I want to invite you to listen to another podcast called TED Talks Daily. Now, you know about TED Talks, right? Many of the guests on Something You Should Know have done TED Talks. Well, you see, TED Talks Daily is a podcast that brings you a new TED Talk every weekday in less than 15 minutes. Join host Elise Hu.

She goes beyond the headlines so you can hear about the big ideas shaping our future. Learn about things like sustainable fashion, embracing your entrepreneurial spirit, the future of robotics, and so much more. Like I said, if you like this podcast, Something You Should Know, I'm pretty sure you're going to like TED Talks Daily. And you get TED Talks Daily wherever you get your podcasts. Today on Something You Should Know, when was the last time you cleaned your credit cards? Probably never, but you should and I'll tell you why. Then, are you a spiritual person? We'll discuss what that means and why it's so beneficial. There's increasing

research showing that spirituality helps people heal from depression, from anxiety. It decreases the length of hospital stays. It spurs healing from things like cancer and heart disease. Also, how do you get a pen to write when there's no ink coming out? And understanding your survival instinct. At one time it had great value when we were running from tigers or spears. And so it kept us out of harm's way. But today, it's now on overdrive.

It's basically stuck and perceiving danger in situations that aren't truly dangerous. So rather than keeping us out of harm's way, it's putting us in harm's way. All this today on Something You Should Know. People who listen to Something You Should Know are curious about the world, looking to hear new ideas and perspectives. So I want to tell you about a podcast that is full of new ideas and perspectives, and one I've started listening to called Intelligence Squared. It's the podcast where great minds meet. Listen in for some great talks on science, tech, politics, creativity, wellness, and a lot more.

A couple of recent examples, Mustafa Suleiman, the CEO of Microsoft AI, discussing the future of technology. That's pretty cool. And writer, podcaster, and filmmaker John Ronson discussing the rise of conspiracies and culture wars. Intelligence Squared is the kind of podcast that gets you thinking a little more openly about the important conversations going on today. Being curious, you're probably just the type of person Intelligence Squared is meant for. Check out Intelligence Squared wherever you get your podcasts. Something you should know. Fascinating intel. The world's top experts. And practical advice

you can use in your life. Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. Hi, welcome to Something You Should Know. This is our SYSK Choice Edition, our weekend episode. And whether you're listening on a phone or a laptop or a computer or a tablet or a smart speaker, hopefully you've come to learn something new because that's what we do on this podcast. And first up today, no matter how much you like to keep your home and your things clean, I think we all have blind spots. And there are some things that many of us overlook cleaning that we really should clean. And right near the top of the list is credit and debit cards in your wallet.

I mean, think of where these things go. You slide them in and out of those things, or you hand them to clerks, or you put them down on the counter, and whoever cleans their credit cards. So they're crawling with germs, and a quick wipe with a disinfectant wipe will help keep things clean. Electronics are another one. I mean, phones and tablets, keyboards for computers, all those things, as well as remotes for your television or your whatever. Remotes, in fact, are one of the dirtiest things in a hotel room because nobody ever cleans them. Again, a disinfectant wipe would go a long

way to fix that. Toilet roll holders. Every time you switch rolls, you should really just give that holder a shot of disinfectant. When you think about what people are doing when they touch the toilet roll holder, it makes you want to maybe clean that a little more often. And salt and pepper shakers. They're often the filthiest thing on the table with the highest concentration of cold and flu viruses. So wipe those down once in a while, again with a disinfecting wipe. And that is something you should know. What does it mean to be spiritual? And how is that different from being, say, religious? Spirituality is one of those subjects that can get really out there.

But I found somebody who can explain it very well, very clearly. She can explain the benefits of being more spiritual and exactly how you do it, how you kind of try it on for size and see what you think. She is Dr. Anna Youssef. She is a psychiatrist and graduate of the Yale University School of Medicine, who now practices psychiatry in New York City, and she just came out with a book, perfect for people like me. It's called Fulfilled, How the Science of Spirituality Can Help You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life.

Welcome, Dr. Youssef. So let's start with what is spirituality in very practical terms. A lot of us don't really know what to do with that word. We don't know what it means. So what is it? How is a spiritual person different from a non-spiritual person in a very practical way? What I think spirituality means is being connected to something greater than oneself. And for some people, that is indeed God, which is more people in the religious traditions. But for other people, there's so many ways to be spiritual in a secular sense. So to be connected to the universe, or shared global vision, or the feeling of flow that makes you feel interconnected with all of life or that feeling of oneness or Mother Nature, for instance. All of those are ways in which people connect to their spiritual essence,

sometimes religiously and sometimes not. I would have thought, or I guess I do think, that secular spiritualism is a bit of an oxymoron, that you can't believe in something greater than this and not be religious. Yes, and that is the way that many people would think, used to think, and I think now it's changing, and people are recognizing that there's this whole subset of people who consider themselves to be spiritual but not religious. So they feel very, very deeply interconnected with all of life, and often will see patterns of meaning in their experiences, feel that they're being guided in

certain ways by something greater than themselves, feel that they're getting messages of that guidance. But when you ask them, are you religious? Do you belong? Do you go to church? Do you go to synagogue? Do you belong to a specific religious tradition? They'll say, no, that's not how I see the world. Despite how you view your spirituality, what is it you do with it that helps you in your life? The idea is that spirituality helps people heal, grow, and transform in ways that really nothing else does. And there's increasing research in the medical literature showing that spirituality helps people heal from depression, from anxiety. It decreases the length of hospital stays.

It spurs healing from things like cancer and heart disease. And moreover, even without looking at, you know, health itself, it just improves quality of life and gives people meaning at times when life looks dark and meaningless. So how do you do that? How do you use that to accomplish the things you just described? There's a number of ways in which we can connect to something greater than ourselves. Part of it is really that acknowledgement, and sometimes it's really asking for signs. There's a number of ways in which we can connect to something greater than ourselves. Part of it is really that acknowledgement, and sometimes it's really asking for signs and help for the things that we need help in our lives for. It's through prayer.

It could be through meditation. And sometimes what people need more so in this culture than any time else in history is really some sort of proof. They need to see in their own life that something works. And that's why I often say to people, okay, if that's the case, then start conversing with the universe. Start conversing with God. Start asking for what you need and be open to the ways in which that will show up in your life.

It's prayer in a sense, but it's not a prayer to a God per se. It's really being connected to a but it's not a prayer to a god per se. It's really being connected to a greater energy that will help guide you and help lead you to where you need to get to, you know, the best version of yourself. And the payoff is what? And what typically happens when you do that? It's moving from the core belief of, I am alone in this world, to the belief that I am interconnected with everybody and everything. That is what you get as one of the payoffs. You feel the deep interconnectedness in all of life and start to have a deeper empathic sense of how others affect you, how you affect the world.

And you just really feel more of the unity of how people are connected. I suspect that a lot of people will pull this out of the bag and use it when they're in trouble, when things are going bad, all of a sudden they become spiritual and religious and all kinds of things, but not necessarily when things are going well and everything's great, we tend to kind of forget about it. Right, right, and that's great, we tend to kind of forget about it. Right, right. And that's often precisely what happens. It's a dark night of the soul that leads people to be open to, you know, some prayer because

they feel helpless and they're like, well, now I need something and I don't know where else to turn. So God, if there is a God, help me now. And that's often when people start becoming more open and the help comes in. But if you just incorporate it into your life when you need it, I would bet it wouldn't it be less effective than if you live it? Well, it's effective at those times when you're connected to it. And indeed, if you only connect to it at times of dire need, it'll be effective then, but it could be even more effective if it is something that you're interconnected with on a daily basis,

because there's actually so many books written about seeing the sacred in the mundane, how there's evidence of something greater in everything that we do all the time. It really depends on our perspective and our ability to open our eyes to it. But there are plenty of people who just think this is all mumbo-jumbo, coincidence, and there's no proof that any of this is real, and dismiss it out of hand. Yes, and I used to be one of those people. I did my, you know, training at Stanford University, went to Yale Medical School, had your very, very traditional standard medical education. Never, ever would I think that I would become a spiritual person. And then I went through my own dark night of the soul, just like you had, you know, alluded to before. And that led me to become more open. And as I became more open, things

started shifting in my life that I couldn't explain through anything scientific I had ever learned in medical school. So I started seeking spiritual explanations, and that's what ultimately led me to write my book. My guest is psychiatrist Dr. Anna Youssef. She is author of the book Fulfilled, How the Science of Spirituality Can Help You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life. It's always interested me, Dr. Youssef, that it seems to be human nature that people are resistant to change, but they will change. They'll make a change to turn to spirituality, or to stop smoking, or to lose weight, when something bad happens, but that it takes something bad to happen to provide that motivation to change. Precisely. You know, they often say that

life begins to change only after you've hit rock bottom. And as a psychiatrist, when people come to see me, you kind of, you know, if they're doing a lot of things that are self-destructive, you sometimes have to wait for them to actually hit their rock bottom before their motivation to change is great enough. So very much so. I'm speaking with Anna Youssef about spirituality. Anna is a psychiatrist and she's author of the book, Fulfilled, How the Science of Spirituality Can Help live a happier, more meaningful life.

Contained herein are the heresies of Rudolf Buntwine, erstwhile monk turned traveling medical investigator. Join me as I study the secrets of the divine plagues and uncover the blasphemous truth that ours is not a loving God and we are not its favored children. The heresies of Randolph Bantwine, wherever podcasts are available. Since I host a podcast, it's pretty common for me to be asked to recommend a podcast. And I tell people, if you like something you should know, you're going to like The Jordan Harbinger Show. Every episode is a conversation with a fascinating

guest. Of course, a lot of podcasts are conversations with guests, but Jordan does it better than most. Recently, he had a fascinating conversation with a British woman who was recruited and radicalized by ISIS and went to prison for three years. She now works to raise awareness on this issue. It's a great conversation. And he spoke with Dr. Sarah Hill about how taking birth control not only prevents pregnancy, it can influence a woman's partner preferences, career choices, and overall behavior due to the hormonal changes it causes. Apple named The Jordan Harbinger Show one of the best podcasts a few years back,

and in a nutshell, the show is aimed at making you a better, more informed critical thinker. Check out The Jordan Harbinger Show. There's so much for you in this podcast. The Jordan Harbinger Show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. So Anna, in your practice as a psychiatrist, how do you incorporate spirituality in a practical way, in a how-to kind of way to help people who come to you with, you know, psychological mental problems? Yeah, so in my practice, I incorporate spirituality together with the traditional tools of a psychiatrist, the traditional tools being psychotherapy and, when medically indicated, medication. And I really, for all patients who come in, try to understand who they are at the core level,

try to really get a sense into their soul soul what it is that makes them tick, what makes them feel connected to life and to their greater purpose. And I incorporate spirituality to the degree that a patient is open. Some patients have no interest in it whatsoever, and that's completely okay. Other people, for them, it's really part of their life force, and so we will pray together. We'll look at the signs that they're receiving from life together. We'll look at the greater meaning of their life in terms of how it all fits into that standpoint. So it's very, very

individual. No two patients get the same treatment. Everybody has a unique need, and therefore, every patient needs a unique approach. So as you say, some people have no interest in it, and so you leave it off the table. But from working with people who you would consider spiritual and working with people who have no interest, what do you see in the differences in those people from just your objective perspective of working with them in your practice? What I've found is that people's healing speeds up.

Their lives start to, it's as though they were kind of moving along, doing what they needed to do. They were healing. They were growing. They were transforming. And then this is like a whole new level up. Healing speeds up. They get better faster.

They heal more thoroughly. That's what I've seen in my own work with patients, and this is over a thousand patients in my private practice in Manhattan. What about though when people who turn to the spiritual, who look to that whatever that is, the universe, God, or whatever, and nothing happens. It doesn't work. They have a problem that spirituality cannot address, and then they say, we'll see. There's nothing there.

Right. And if they ask for an answer and God doesn't answer, the answer is no. Sometimes maybe it's the wrong question that they're asking, or maybe they're going down a wrong path. But if people truly are open, they're going to get the help, and they're going to get the help they need by the right kind of person coming into their life, stumbling upon a book in a library that they really need to read, being given a piece of advice from a friend

that they otherwise wouldn't anticipate. It's these so-called synchronicities that happen when people start to become open to this approach that could be explained as random coincidence, but really start to take on a different kind of meaning when it comes to people's growth and healing. Could it be that it does that just because people believe it does that? Very much so. And, you know, the power of belief is very much part of the healing itself. When you believe that you are part of the greater whole, the intentionality of that process and the fact that you believe that that's going to help

certainly helps it. But even aside from that, you know, it's been shown through studies having to do with prayer and also just in my own practice, watching people adopt these sorts of beliefs, it seems like things start to happen in their lives. It's like as they shift internally, their external lives really shift as well, that there's something even greater than just our mindset. What do you say, though, to the person who says, you know, that just sounds like magic, and I don't believe in magic, and I need a better explanation. I need something that I can sink my teeth into, and what you're talking about is, I can't, I don't get it. Yeah, and I would say,

that's okay. There's so many other ways for us to approach this. And indeed, it could indeed be magic. I would say that to them. I might say, well, why don't we give magic a try? And if it doesn't work, then we put it away for good, and that's it. And some people might be open and some won't. But it's really going with the patience where they're open to going and where they're willing to go.

There seems to me to be a link between spirituality and optimism, that people who are spiritual have a more optimistic outlook on life. Is that a fair statement? Yes, because for many people, so spirituality, it helps people to heal through so many different mechanisms. One of the mechanisms is more life-affirming beliefs, you know, and others are healthy habits engendered by certain spiritual practices, such as meditation or even going to church for people who are religious.

And other things are having explanations for why things happen, like this idea that things happen for a reason, as opposed to suffering being meaningless and things of that nature. So for all those reasons, spirituality could predispose people to be more optimistic. Or could being optimistic predispose you to being more spiritual? That's true, too. Exactly. The direction of causality for something like this really isn't known. And certainly, if you're optimistic, you could say, well, you know, things are so, so good. But for some people, that could be, well, this is just the way it is. There isn't anything really deeper. And for some people, it would be, well, there must be some greater

order to the universe as to why it's so good. How does being a spiritual person differ than being a non-spiritual person when there is no problem? When there's just stuff, just day-to-day stuff, how does the day go differently for a spiritual person than a non-spiritual person? It's such an interesting question, right? Because spirituality has so many elements to it. And for instance, one of the questions is really questions of purpose and meaning. Because I think one of the key things that having a spiritual perspective can give somebody is a sense of their purpose and meaning in the world as part of the greater whole, and help them identify what their own unique contribution to this world and to humanity is.

And your soul's purpose has to do with two things, identifying your soul correction and identifying your soul contribution. Your contribution is really kind of your calling. What is it that you're supposed to do to help humanity? And then your soul correction is that thing that keeps coming up again and again and again in your life, which is your challenge to overcome in this lifetime. And it's a combination of those two things and again in your life, which is your challenge to overcome in this lifetime. And it's a combination of those two things and living in accordance with them and understanding them that helps people take a more spiritual perspective and outlook. And having that really gives your life more meaning

and helps things make a little more sense. When people have spirituality, they have that. When they don't, they certainly could have other explanations for it, but not the spiritual explanation. But when you have a spiritual explanation, isn't that the easy explanation? That something happened because it was meant to be, or it's karma. And so there's no reason for the discussion to go any further because things are the way they are because the spiritualness

of it all is the reason why right but those aren't mutually exclusive right because a spiritual explanation can tell you the why but if you go much deeper you can learn the how and how it happens and the mechanism. And it really is about the meaning that it gives to your life. Any last thoughts about this? And you've done a really good job of keeping this very grounded. And I've had conversations about spirituality that just get so woo-woo that I'm not even sure what we're talking about. But there are a lot of people who have never turned this way, who have never looked at spirituality.

They view themselves as much more practical and pragmatic. Any last words for those people to help them get it? Yeah, absolutely. You know, it really, if they themselves don't feel that it's something that they've experienced, they can get their feet wet. And it's really about the science that supports it in many ways. And it's been shown, you know, that it reduces incidence of depression. It has quicker recovery from depression.

There's less alcohol dependence in people who are spiritual. In so many different ways, spirituality has been shown to help healing. And it doesn't mean you have to be religious at all. It just means connected to part of something greater, and whatever that is to that person. Right. But when you're spiritual, don't you say, life is life, but there's a reason for all of this and I can handle it? Definitely. For a lot of people, that exists. It gives you a meaning and a sense to

your suffering and to the challenges that perhaps you didn't have when you weren't spiritual. And that's one of the things that spirituality does. It gives meaning to life in a different way. Well, I think I get it. And like I said, I think you've explained it well. Practicing it is another story, but at least you have to understand it first in order to decide whether or not you're going to practice it, and you really have explained it well. I've been speaking with Anna Yousum. She is a psychiatrist and author of the book Fulfilled, How the Science of Spirituality Can Help You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life. There's a link to her book in the show notes for this episode of the podcast.

Thanks, Anna. Oh, well, thank you. It was so lovely to speak with you and thank you for your interest. Hey, everyone. Join me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa Demonts for Don't Blame Me, But Am I Wrong? Each week, we deliver four fun-filled shows. In Don't Blame Me, we tackle our listeners' dilemmas with hilariously honest advice. Then we have But Am I Wrong, which is for the listeners that didn't take our advice. Plus, we share our hot takes on current events. Then tune in to see you next Tuesday for our listener poll results from But Am I Wrong. And finally, wrap up your week with Fisting Friday, where we catch up and talk all things pop culture. Listen to Don't Blame Me, But Am I Wrong on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Do you love Disney? Then you are going to love our hit podcast, Disney Countdown. I'm Megan, the Magical Millennial. And I'm the Dapper Danielle. On every episode of our fun and family-friendly show,

we count down our top 10 lists of all things Disney. There is nothing we don't cover. We are famous for rabbit holes, Disney-themed games, and fun facts you didn't know you needed, but you definitely need in your life. So if you're looking for a healthy dose of Disney magic, check out Disney Countdown wherever you get your podcasts. We are all born with a survival instinct.

That instinct is a big reason why we humans are still around today. But that survival instinct used to keep us safe from big dangers, like the attacking wildebeest. Today, we are seldom, if ever, exposed to an attacking wildebeest or any big life and death danger. But when our survival instinct engages, it acts as if it is life and death, which helps explain things like road rage or screaming at customer service. Some of us, many of us, have a survival instinct that's always on. We are constantly vigilant, worried about the next big threat. And that takes a big toll on your health, your happiness, and your ability to make decisions.

What can you do? Well, that's what Dr. Mark Schoen is here to discuss. Dr. Schoen is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA's Geffen School of Medicine, where he specializes in boosting performance and decision-making under pressure. He's also author of a book called Your Survival Instinct is Killing You. Welcome, Dr. Schoen. So start by explaining what the survival instinct actually is. Well, the survival instinct is a part of the brain that's evolved to keep us out of danger. And at one time, it had great value when we were running from tigers or spears. And so it kept us out of harm's way. But today, it's now on overdrive. It's basically stuck

and perceiving danger in situations that aren't truly dangerous. So rather than keeping us out of harm's way, it's putting us in harm's way. But how does this fear instinct, how does that put us in harm's way? From health, it is truly accelerating the aging process, leading to all sorts of habits, sleeplessness, addictions, and very important, performance and decision-making under pressure. So the ability to retrain that has huge implications. So when you say that the survival instinct is aging us, for example, do you mean things like lying in bed at night, worrying about things you have no

control over, and getting all stressed out when there's really nothing you can do? Yes, exactly. This fear response, which was meant to deal with dangerous situations, now is coming up with, oh, how are we going to handle this next work situation? Or, oh, I'm stressed about getting this project done. And by virtue of applying this instinct to all these situations in our lives where it's really not needed it accelerates this process called inflammation and inflammation is linked there are thousands of studies for aging disease and health but some people are just natural worriers they just worry more than other people do. I don't

know if that's, is that survival instinct, or is that just a predisposition to worrying? You know, having that part of us that worries is a throwback to our early ancestors, where being worried about what could go wrong obviously had survival value. And the type of B folks who didn't worry, well, they didn't live long enough to propagate. And so we are the product of those folks that were always worried and hypervigilant. And so it did have survival value. But now it really harms us than helps us. But I know people who are much more carefree than I am.

They did survive somehow, or somehow they've done what you're talking about, because there are other people who, given what perhaps I might worry about, would be much more, you know, que sera, sera, it'll all work out. And it always does work out. Well, it certainly can, because so often the things that we worry about and stress about really have no relevance to whether something is going to work out or not. So it's really not a way of performing or managing the world that typically produces results. And yet we never learn from that. Those of us who worry about things that never happen or the consequences that never transpire,

we don't then go, we'll see the last 400 times we worried nothing happened, so why don't we stop worrying? It doesn't help. No, you're right, because that worry part of us, this survival instinct, is not part of the logical part of the brain. It's part of the brain that is all about visceral response, fear, danger, safety, anger, hunger. And it's pure gut response. And so if we try to logicalize our way out of it, well, that part of the brain that's all about these gut responses, it doesn't understand that language. So we can't talk ourselves out of it. But what we can do

is train that part of the brain, which I call the limbic brain, to now manage being uncomfortable better. Well, let's talk about that. Actually, but before we do, this idea that, well, you know, we have it easier today than perhaps people in the past, and clearly we do, but you talk about how there's no shades of gray in the brain. You're either in danger or you're not. Yes, we have indeed two different parts to our brain. One, the very logical, cerebral, analytical. It's the one that's reflective and the one we think about and make thorough decisions with. And then we have this other part of the brain that is, like I was saying earlier, I call it the limbic brain. It's all about these gut responses.

And that part is absolute. It either is we are in danger or we are not in danger. Well, and so we obviously would prefer to not be in danger. We don't want the wildebeest to eat us, but so seldom does that ever happen anymore. You know, and that's exactly it. You know, at one time it was an important part of us being able to respond to danger. But now, how often do we have that? Really, most of the danger we have is self-induced. It's a war going on within us, and we really need to extinguish it. All right, well, let's talk about how you extinguish it. How would I stop doing what has been, you know, a natural part of my life for many,

many years is to worry and fear things that do me no harm? Okay. I think the bottom line to look at this is that what turns on this fear response, this survival instinct? Okay, it's the sensing of danger. So what is it about danger that then turns this part on? Well, it has to do with being uncomfortable. This primitive part of our brain, when it senses that we're uncomfortable, it perceives that as danger. And that's what turns on this

whole process. So the real key here is learning how to better manage being uncomfortable. But here's the key part of it. The goal isn't to banish the feeling of discomfort. The goal is to manage it better. And if we do, it stops that survival instinct from turning on and the obsessions and the ruminations, as you're describing. So how might I do that? One way is, I call this adjutance. It has to do with how sped up we are inside, how revved up we are. And our society now is far more sped up than ever before. So one thing is we want to slow down that inner speed in us. Why that's important, the higher inner speed we have, the greater likelihood we're going to respond to situations

with discomfort. So how do you slow down? Well, you basically try to chill out a bit from what are the very things that speed us up. One is technology, computers, email, texting, phones, TV, constant flow of stimulation. We have become addicted to this stimulation and addicted to instant gratification. What we want to do is start pulling that back, get a little bit better and not need so much stimulation, to not be on the computer surfing the web, not having to eat, talk, watch TV, return emails all at the same time. Slow it down.

What else? Given that most people probably won't do that, then it becomes more important. Okay, if all those kind of sped up situations are going to create more discomfort, then the real thing is how can we start controlling discomfort? One way is we want to start looking at discomfort not as a threat, but rather as a challenge, something that we can rally rather than something we have to avoid. Very important. We want to change our experience of discomfort.

The other way is that we want to build up what I call our discomfort muscle. Right now, we've developed a weak discomfort muscle. Quite honestly, we've had so much more to make us comfortable in our lives that paradoxically, because of that, we've become less tolerant of being uncomfortable. And you do that by? Well, one great way to do that is to expand our comfort zone, which means starting to do those things that are uncomfortable, usually things that evoke some element of fear. For example, for some people, it might be just taking a new road to work. Another person might be starting to learn to speak in front of people if you're scared. Another person might be learning to dance.

It might be another person being able to do improv. But basically, it's stretching the boundaries of your comfort zone by doing the things that make you uncomfortable, because if you do them enough times, you'll feel less uncomfortable. So I get that. But there are things like public speaking or taking tests. These things you can never really do enough to stretch your boundaries because those situations don't come up often enough in life.

So then what? Yes. Okay, let's say, for example, someone is fearful of taking an exam. This is one that I do over and over. They're fearful that when they take the exam that they're going to fail. And if they fail, that means horrible things are going to happen. So the prospect of taking an exam under pressure leads to the fear response.

Well what we can also do is make it so that when they take an exam, rather than it going to the fear center, we can make it go to a different part of the brain. We can make it, for example, we pair the pressure of the exam with a certain song. So now we're going to a whole other part of the brain, this temporal part of the brain. Or we can pair that performance with a smell, a scent, which now goes to the olfactory part of the brain. Or now we can have them imagine a certain image in their brain of, could be a fictional character, could be someone that's real who they associate with strength.

Now that goes to a different part of the brain. So now this whole prospect of performing under pressure goes to many other parts of the brain so that the fear center is literally taking up much less space. You kind of dilute it that way. Exactly. It's totally diluted. It's still there. We can't stop it entirely, but we can make its influence significantly less. All right. So now now explain how this relates to decision-making. Decision-making is, again, very influenced by the survival instinct, because what happens is when we are under pressure of making decisions, is that, again, it creates an uncomfortableness.

The survival instinct says we're in danger. So what it does is literally shut off the blood supply, the fuel, to the part of the brain that's a problem-solving and decision-making center. So what happens is that we no longer have the fuel to run the machinery. So our decisions become fear-driven. And so rather than pursuing means and strategies that will advance our goals, we inadvertently start taking positions to limit our losses. So if we can learn to perform under pressure, that dramatically not only gives us an edge over

our competition, but allows us to think clearly, problem-solve clearly in the most important situations. Well, marketers talk about that all the time, that it's better to appeal to someone's fear of loss than the feeling of what they might gain. Yes, because that creates a certain desperation, a need to take action so that, oh my gosh, I need to do this so I can feel healthy or I can feel happy. And that's exactly right. So we are very controlled, dominated by this fear center of the brain.

Well, when you hear this explanation, I mean, this explains a lot. It explains why we sometimes behave the way we do and why we perform so poorly sometimes when we do. So this is really interesting and really very helpful. My guest has been Dr. Mark Schoen. He is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA's Geffen School of Medicine, where he specializes in boosting performance and decision-making under pressure. And he is also author of a book called Your Survival Instinct is Killing You.

And there's a link to his book in the show notes. I don't have a lot of pet peeves, but one of my pet peeves is, you know, when you need to write something down really quickly and you grab a pen and nothing comes out. You know, we can send a man to the moon, but we can't invent a pen that regularly and consistently delivers ink when you want it to. Well, there are some things you can do, and I've tried some of these, not all of them, but I've tried some of these, and they seem to work at least some of the time. First, try to scribble on a piece of paper, which is probably what we all do anyway when the pen isn't working. But sometimes the ball is jammed, and if you scribble on a piece of paper, that will loosen the ball.

Next, try drawing circles on a glass surface, like the nearest window. That will help get the ball rolling again. You can try to heat the tip of the pen in a candle flame or in boiling water for a few seconds. But that's going to take a lot more time than I'm willing to invest in this. You could spray a little window cleaner on your finger and rub it on the ball. The window cleaner will act as a lubricant and free the ball if it is jammed up. And of course, if the pen is out of ink, none of those things are going to help. And that is something you should know. If you have a moment, I would love it if you would leave a rating and review on iTunes. It only takes a second and would mean a

lot to me. And if you want to contact me, my email address is mike at somethingyoushouldknow.net. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. Welcome to the small town of Chinook, where faith runs deep and secrets run deeper. In this new thriller, religion and crime collide when a gruesome murder rocks the isolated Montana community. Everyone is quick to point their fingers at a drug-addicted teenager, but local deputy Ruth Vogel isn't convinced. She suspects connections to a powerful religious group. Enter federal agent V.B. Loro, who has been investigating a local church for possible

criminal activity. The pair form an unlikely partnership to catch the killer, unearthing secrets that leave Ruth torn between her duty to the law, her religious convictions, and her very own family. But something more sinister than murder is afoot, and someone is watching Ruth. Chinook.

Starring Kelly Marie Tran and Sanaa Lathan. Listen to Chinook wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Rob Benedict. And I am Richard Spate. We were both on a little show you might know called Supernatural. It had a pretty good run. 15 seasons,

327 episodes. And though we have seen, of course, every episode many times, we figured, hey, now that we're wrapped, let's watch it all again. And we can't do that alone. So we're inviting the cast and crew that made the show along for the ride. We've got writers, producers, composers, directors, and we'll of course have some actors on as well, including some certain guys that played some certain pretty iconic brothers.

It was kind of a little bit of a left field choice in the best way possible. The note from Kripke was, he's great, we love him, but we're looking for like a really intelligent Duchovny type. With 15 seasons to explore, it's going to be the road trip of several lifetimes. So please join us and subscribe to Supernatural then and now.