Something You Should Know - The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

You know what stops a lot of people from asking their boss for a raise? It’s worrying about what the boss will think of them – just because they asked. Will he or she think of you as greedy, ungrateful or what? If you have ever thought that way, you need to hear something interesting from a top negotiation expert. Source: Michael Wheeler author of The Art of Negotiation (https://amzn.to/4g4yb4c). The holiday season is full of rituals and traditions. We have Christmas trees, ornaments, food, songs, Christmas cards, mistletoe and the list goes on. Here to reveal the origins of some of your favorite Christmas traditions is James Cooper. He has a wonderful website that will answer just about any Christmas related question you could possibly have. The website is www.WhyChristmas.com. Before you check out his website though, listen to our conversation.  Having and setting goals is easy. Reaching them is something else. It seems most people never achieve the goals they set for themselves according to my guest Dr. Michelle Rozen . She is a much sought-after speaker on leadership, motivation, and change. She is a Huffington Post contributor, and a frequent guest on media outlets such as NBC, ABC, FOX News, and CNN. and she author of the book, The 6% Club: Unlock the Secret to Achieving Any Goal and Thriving in Business and Life (https://amzn.to/3Z3kgEp). Listen as she reveals what it takes to achieve important goals – and it is a lot easier than people think. “Sit up straight!” You have heard that all your life. Yet, sitting up straight may not be so great for your back. Listen as I explain what many doctors believe to be the better way to sit. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/57654.php PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS!!! INDEED:  Get a $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to get your jobs more visibility at https://Indeed.com/SOMETHING  Support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast.  Terms & conditions apply. AURA: Save on the perfect gift by visiting https://AuraFrames.com to get $35-off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code SOMETHING at checkout! SHOPIFY:  Sign up for a $1 per-month trial period at https://Shopify.com/sysk . Go to SHOPIFY.com/sysk to grow your business – no matter what stage you’re in! MINT MOBILE: Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at https://MintMobile.com/something! $45 upfront payment required (equivalent to $15/mo.).  New customers on first 3 month plan only. Additional taxes, fees, & restrictions apply. HERS: Hers is changing women's healthcare by providing access to GLP-1 weekly injections with the same active ingredient as Ozempic and Wegovy, as well as oral medication kits. Start your free online visit today at https://forhers.com/sysk DELL: Dell Technologies’ Cyber Monday event is live and if you've been waiting for an AI-ready PC, this is their biggest sale of the year! Shop now at https://Dell.com/deals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

70,000 people are here and Bob Dylan is the reason for it. Inspired by the true story. If anyone is going to hold your attention on stage, you have to kind of be a freak. Are you a freak? Hope so. And starring Timothy Chalamet as Bob Dylan, he defied everyone. Turn it down! Play loud!

To change everything. Make some noise BD. Timothy Chalamet, Edward Norton, Elle Fanny, Monica Barbaro, a complete unknown, only in theaters Christmas day. Today on Something You Should Know, have you ever not asked for a raise because you worry what your boss will think of you? If so, listen up. Then the origins of some of your favorite Christmas customs, like why we put round ornaments

on a Christmas tree. The earliest Christmas trees had red apples put on them and we have red round baubles today because when glass blowers first made decorations, they made them to look like apples because that's what people were used to putting on their trees. Also the right way to sit and it's not sitting up straight. And how to achieve important goals in your life and it starts with choosing the right goal. And I have a tool for that but it's called the zero to ten rule. So no matter what your goal are, make sure that it's a ten for you which means something that you really feel very strongly

about because if it's not a ten for you, you're not gonna care enough to make the effort. All this today on Something You Should Know. Something You Should Know. Fascinating intel, the world's top experts, and practical advice you can use in your life. Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. Hi, here's a question for you. I think this has probably happened to everyone. You get your nerve up to go walk into the boss's office to ask for a raise, and then

you chicken out. You don't go through with it. Well, why? Well, for one reason, who wants to be turned down? Nobody likes hearing no when you ask for a raise. But also, I bet you wondered about your reputation. What will the boss think of you for asking? Will he or she lose respect or think you're greedy?

Apparently not. According to Michael Wheeler, he's author of a book called The Art of Negotiation. He says there's a lot of research that shows that when you ask people after a negotiation how they feel about the person they just negotiated with, the answer is entirely independent of the deal or the money that was negotiated. So if you're worried your boss will think less of you just for asking for a raise, that's likely not true. What's more important is how you ask.

Making your case well and being respectful is what will get you more, if there is more to get. And that is something you should know. For many of us, Christmas is the favorite holiday of the year. The Christmas season has a lot of meaning for a lot of people. It brings back memories of Christmases gone by, and maybe memories of people who are no longer part of our lives, but the memories are wonderful. And the glue that holds this whole season and this holiday together are the traditions,

the rituals, the things we do only this time of year. And joining me to talk about these traditions is James Cooper. He's a web designer by trade but has a deep love of the Christmas holiday and has a great website you'll enjoy if you are also a fan of Christmas. The website is whychristmas.com. Hi James, Merry Christmas, welcome to something you should know. Well thank you for having me Mike and very happy Christmas. So first of all, since we celebrate Christmas on December 25th,

why do we celebrate Christmas on December 25th? Yeah, the short answer is no one really knows. The long answer is it's complicated. I'll try and do my best to explain. You might have heard some people say it's because we took it from the Romans. Now it kind of doesn't really fit if you look really at the evidence. The earliest records of people trying to find out when to celebrate the birth of Christ was actually to do with his death because in the early church, the early Christians, there was kind of a belief that your important people, especially prophets and so especially the son of God, was born and died on the same day and they were trying to work out when Jesus died and they came up with the date of the 25th of March as a good consensus date because there were various dates in and around that time but they chose the 25th of March and it changed from the

belief that you were born and died on the same day to you were conceived and died on the same day. So if you then put nine months onto the conception of Jesus being on the 25th of March, you get his birth on the 25th of December. Now that happened to coincide with several other midwinter festivals, so it worked quite well. But the earliest evidence seems to be that it was actually the early church working out the death of Jesus rather than anything to do with his birth, which is kind of surreal, but there we go. So let's talk about Christmas ornaments, the decorations you put on your Christmas tree. Where did that tradition come from? Okay, yeah, the earliest Christmas trees seems to have actually come from trees that were paraded around towns in the early Middle Ages as part of what were

known as Paradise Trees or Miracle Trees. There were plays put on outside churches traditionally on Christmas Eve telling the story from creation up to the time of Jesus, kind of like an old version of Handel's Messiah basically, and to drum up support and interest in the plays, and they would carry around branches of apple trees, or just dead, you know, not the fir trees as we think of them today, but branches of trees, or frames of trees, and they were decorated with apples traditionally because they represented the Garden of Eden. And so the earliest trees had red apples put on them and then when trees became popular as an indoor custom firstly in northern

Germany and people started decorating for trees they still traditionally put things like apples on them and we have red round baubles today because when glassblowers first made decorations they made them to look like apples because that's what people were used to putting on their trees. And I think I saw on your website it was Woolworths, the chain of retail stores that started, that was first started selling glass ornaments, right? Yeah, they were the ones that sort of did the first big introduction certainly into the States. They came over from Germany from Bavarian glass blowers.

And you also had things like gingerbread that were put on trees, shapes cut out of bits of paper, stars and angels and things like that. But yeah, the first commercial ornaments came in the way of glass blown ornaments. And the big ones were from the Walrus. But before that it was all kind of handmade. You'd make it at your home and stick it on your tree kind of thing. Yeah, but indeed, but Christmas trees didn't really become a thing in the US until the

1850s onwards. Before that they were, you would have some of the German and Dutch immigrants that would have had trees, but they were looked on as very unusual custom. They only came into the UK, predominantly in the 1840s. The earliest tree in the UK was from one of the royal family, Queen Charlotte, who was the German wife of King George III. She put up a yew tree in one of the royal family, Queen Charlotte, who was the German wife of King George III, she put up a yew tree in one of the lodges at Windsor Castle in 1800, it's a children's party. But Queen Victoria and her German husband, Prince Albert, really popularised the Christmas tree in the UK and in 1848 there was a drawing published of the royal tree at Windsor in one of the big London newspapers and that sort of became the ignition of the popularity of trees in

the UK and then in December 1850 that same drawing but with some early Photoshop going on because they took out Prince Albert's mustache and swapped the, took off Queen Victoria's tiara to make it look more homely and American. And that was published in 1850 in Philadelphia and that's when Christmas trees started to become popular in America because they were seen as sort of the fashionable British thing to do. The whole idea of when Christmas trees were first brought into the house, was their function just a decoration? Because

now it's the place where you put presents under it and you... but what was it just something people stuck in the corner? Do you have a sense of that? Yeah well the first ones were much smaller than we have today. They might have just been a branch or part of a tree and they were often put on tables, on tabletops and you'd traditionally, some of the earliest ones from Germany, they would have sort of your traditional sort of Christmas village was put under it, a little Christmas scene. And then people started when gift giving became more popular in the late Victorian period. It became a place that you could put your presents and then bigger trees came along and they became put on the floor and you got it from that.

And so what about all this other Christmas greenery? We have wreaths, we have mistletoe, we have holly, we have the Christmas tree, we have... are they all just offshoots of the tree or what's the story? No, most of them are pre-tree. Basically, since people have been celebrating the Winds of Solstice, which is the mark in December the 21st, December the 22nd, the shortest day of the year. Having greenery in your house sort of reminded you that winter wouldn't last forever and that spring would come. And there's some thought that some greenery plants like some of the spruces and

some of the furs actually have anti-insect and anti-fungal properties to them. So if you're living in a cold drafty house with lots of fleas and things, actually having those strewn around on the floor would also make it smell nice, but they could help keep some of the bugs at bay, which would be quite nice. And what about Holly? Holly in the Middle Ages became to represent the crown of thorns that Jesus had when he died. And in Scandinavia the translation can be the Christ's Thorn with the red berries being the blood of Christ. Ivy was given the similarity of that it has to cling to something to live so

Christians need to cling to God. And then wreaths came farther back from that. Back in the Roman times, they had wreaths given at the Olympic Games and sporting events. And so they were a sign of victory, so an everlasting life because they go round and round and round. So that again was given a new meaning of the Christmas wreath, became a symbol of everlasting life and sort of the turning of the Christmas wreath became a symbol of everlasting life and sort of the turning of the year and things like that. At what point did Christmas become a holiday where you give gifts to each other? For most people, the late Victorian period. For the rich, throughout history.

Back in pre-Christian times in the Saturnalia festivals there was an element of gift-giving but it's not, that's sometimes claimed as that's where we get gifting from but it was very different to what we'd think of as gift-giving. It was more that you would actually give a bit of greenery to someone which I think if you rocked up with a branch of holly in your hand at someone's house this Christmas, I don't think they'd be particularly happy with it. So, but I mean, certainly royalty wanted gifts throughout history. You know, it was a sign of often your actual prosperity that you would give gifts to the royals and to people above you to try and win favour. That was you gave gifts to get something in return, you know, royal favour and prestige and things.

It was only when commercial printing and commercial goods and toys, especially became more widely made in the late Victorian period that it became a holiday for everyone to exchange presents. We're exploring some of the origins of your favourite Christmas traditions. in the late Victorian period that it became a holiday for everyone to exchange presents. We're exploring some of the origins of your favorite Christmas traditions and my guest is James Cooper. He has a website I know you'll love. It's called whychristmas.com. So James, I remember watching one of the versions of the film, A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge, the one with Alistair Simmon. I always enjoyed that movie.

But I remember the Christmas dinner at Bob Cratchit's house, the night of Christmas after Scrooge has made his transformation and all that. I noticed that there was no tree, there was no gift giving. And I remember thinking, well, that's kind of an odd Christmas. Yeah, well, I mean, the Christmas Carol was published in 1843. So that's five years before the Christmas tree became popular in the UK.

So that's why there's no tree mentioned in the book. There is greenery, but it's just hanging around the house and being put, decorated on top of things like paintings and mirrors and things like that, rather than a big sort of centrepiece. Yeah, and there is no gift giving. It was a much more quiet celebration and it lasted, it started on December the 25th and your Christmas celebrations lasted until January the 5th, sorry January the 5th, which was Epiphany Eve for the 12 days of Christmas. That was when you had your Christmas feasting and Christmas holidays. You had Advent before Christmas, which was a much quieter time and a religious time. After the industrial revolution, when people were working in factories rather than in out in farms in towns and villages

You generally had Christmas off, but then the bosses wanted you back at work as soon as Christmas holiday was over. So You also then started to get what we associate with Christmas now happening in December But before the sort of mid 1800s it all happened after Christmas between Christmas and the start of January. So I know it's a fairly lengthy story, but I bet you're pretty good at making it shorter. Is the history of Santa Claus and how we got to the Santa we're at today from when this all started? Sure. Well, the original Santa was a man called Nicholas and he became Saint Nicholas. And that's where we get the name Santa Claus for that went through a few changes and its own. First of all, Nicholas was a bishop who lived in the fourth century in a place called Myra in Asia Minor,

which is now in Turkey. Back then, it was part of Greece. He was a Christian and he was orphaned at a fairly young age but he was very rich and he was known for his generosity and gift giving. And one of the most famous stories about Nicholas is that there was a family in the village that he lived that had three daughters and they were a very poor family and the daughters couldn't afford dowries so that would basically mean that they couldn't get married so the daughters would have had to go into prostitution So as he was a kind man Nicholas dropped a bag full of gold either down the chimney or through the window And if it went down the chimney it fell into a stocking and if it goes through the window it fell into a pair of shoes

And you either get Presents now in stockings or shoes depending on what part of the world you live in and he did this for the first two daughters and the father wondered who was giving these kind gifts. And he finally caught up with St Nicholas and told everybody about his generosity. And the story of St Nicholas's generosity travelled around Europe, especially Northern Europe, into parts of Germany, France, especially in the Netherlands and Belgium and St. Nicholas became known as Sinterklaas. And in the Netherlands and Belgium and other parts of Europe, Sinterklaas is still separate from Santa, even though his name is derived from Sinterklaas because

Sinterklaas came with Dutch American settlers over to America and English and Irish and other American settlers couldn't pronounce Sinterklaas so they turned it into Santa Claus and then it came back into the rest of the world from America. So it's a very convoluted way that we get the name from St Nicholas to Santa Claus. But yeah, on the 16th of November this year, Sinterklaas arrived on the Netherlands in his steamboat from Madrid, because Sinterklaas and Santa Claus are two very different people and kids in the Netherlands get their big presents on Nicholas Eve, which is the 5th of January, 5th of December.

And yes, they believe that Sinterklaas lives in Madrid, not the North Pole. But the Santa Claus we have now is this kind of fat jolly old elf thing, which is a fairly recent creation, correct? Isn't it Coca-Cola's involved in this somehow? To less extent than people would think. The modern Santa is an American invention. Santa is an American invention. In the early 1800s, there was a poem called And Old Santa Claus with Much Delight, which was published in a poetry book for children in 1821 in New York. And that had the first illustrations of Santa and a reindeer. And then a couple of years later, in 1823, we have the famous poem The Visit from St. Nicholas towards the night before Christmas and that's when we learn about the reindeer and he was described in that as a jolly old elf. When printing and magazines came along in the later 1800s,

especially Harper Collins and things like that, We got the illustrations from Thomas Nast which developed him into the much chubbier, tubbier, plumpy one that we think of as Santa today. Back then he wore lots of different colours but red and white was a good colour for printing. It showed out well on magazine stands which is one of the reasons why we get red and white and also St Nicholas wore red and white bishop'sishops robe so that's the connection goes all the way back to there. Coke picked up that he was already red and white and so used it but he was red and white long before Coke came along in the 20s and 30s. And when did it become this thing where he comes on a sleigh with reindeer and brings presents down the chimney?

That was from Towards the Night Before Christmas in 1823. And wasn't it that poem, Towards the Night Before Christmas, that's where the reindeer show up? Before that, he always arrived on a horse. It was really because the reindeer, you had some people drawing reindeer up in the northern states, in the snowy states, and also up in Norway and Sweden. It's thought that Clark Moore drew some of the inspiration from Nordic traditions of the sleighs over there, which are pulled by reindeer, to bring the reindeer into the poem and that's where we get the reindeer from although of course Rudolph only arrived in 1939 for Montgomery Ward department stores when

a book was written about him and then the cartoon was made in 48 and we have the famous song in 49. So there's a tradition in the at least in the US that seemed to have been bigger a few decades ago but still persists and that is Christmas cards and I have no idea where that came from. That's a good old British tradition and that was invented in the same year that a Christmas carol by Charles Dickens was published which was 1843. Christmas cards were invented by a man called Sir Henry Cole. He was one of the founding members of the Victoria and Albert Museum over here in London. He also helped set up the earliest UK post office. He introduced a new cheaper form of postage stamp.

So he got a friend of his called John Horsley, an artist to design him the first Christmas card, basically to show off that you could use this cheaper penny postal service. It was kind of a marketing ploy to show that he'd got this new way of cheaper postage and he could send out these cards to his family and friends to wish them a Merry Christmas and it really took off from there

and then when cheaper printing came in in the 1860s and 1870s and the cost went even cheaper then Christmas cards sort of blossomed around the world. But they don't seem to be as popular today as they did say in the 50s or 60s or even 70s. They seem to have people don't seem to send them as much. Yeah, no, I think they're there. I think they're on the way out, frankly. I think five, 10 years time Christmas, the Christmas card certainly in the UK will be a thing of the past because one postage is so expensive these days. And two, we just have other means of communication. They were often a time when families would catch up once a year, you know, the traditional family newsletter of what's been happening through the year.

But now we have email and WhatsApp and social media that we're in much more close communication with lots of people all over the world these days. Oh, one more I really wanted to get you to talk about is the Poinsettias, how they got mixed up in Christmas. Cause it seems odd to me. Yeah. Again, they're an American thing. Because they come from Mexico. The Poinsettia, it was made widely known because of a man called Joel Roberts Poinsett and that's why we called them Poinsettias.

He was the first US ambassador to Mexico in 1825. He had some greenhouses on his plantations in South Carolina. He visited Mexico and saw these interesting plants growing that were beautiful colors around Christmas and so he got some of the plants and took them back to his plantation and grew them in South Carolina and then sent them out around America to his family and friends kind of like early Christmas cards in a way. He sent them to John Bartram in Philadelphia who was a big botanical name in Philadelphia. And that's where they really bloomed into popularity as a Christmas plant because they

were something again with the reds and the greens that were already associated with Christmas that they just really fitted with Christmas decorations. Well, it's always fun and interesting to hear the backstories of all our holiday traditions. I just really enjoy listening to this. James Cooper has been my guest and he has a website if you're into Christmas at all you've got to check out his website it is whychristmas.com w-h-y Christmas whychristmas.com and I'll put a link to it in the show notes. Thank you, James. Well, thank you very much for having me. It's always fun to do these sorts of things. According to a survey that you're about to hear about, for people who set goals, who commit to

making a change in their life, whether that be for health or career or whatever, only 6% actually achieve the goal they set. Now there's good news and bad news in that statistic. The bad news is that a 94% failure rate is rather dismal, but the good news is that 6% pulled it off. They achieved their goal. So what can we learn from that 6% pulled it off. They achieved their goal. So what can we learn from that 6%? How did they achieve their goal when so many others failed?

And how can you use that strategy to achieve goals in your life? That's what you are about to discover from my next guest, Dr. Michelle Rosen. She's a much sought after speaker on leadership, motivation, and change. She works with brands like Pfizer, Merrill Lynch, Coca-Cola, and others. And she is author of a book called The 6% Club, Unlock the Secret to Achieving Any Goal and Thriving in Business and Life. Hi Michelle, welcome. Glad to have you on Something You Should Know.

Hi Mike, I'm so glad to be here. So what is, do you think, the big problem that people have? Because when you think about it, if I set a goal, if it's something I want to do, why is it so hard to do? I mean, it's my goal. I've said it. So why do people struggle with this? People struggle with setting goals

because they're not doing it the right way. And nobody ever teaches you, Mike, how to do it. So what they do is, you know, we're always told, oh, you should have a list of goals. And that's considered to be like advanced. You just don't have them in your head. You have a list. But what actually happens is that setting a goal and automating that new behavior in the human brain, it's not easy. It's a process. And so when people set too many goals, the brain gets overwhelmed.

And the brain says, I don't know how to do all these new things at once. I mean, you started the year. You have like these 10 things that you want to change. And so people get overwhelmed. They drop the whole thing. So talk about that survey that you did, because I think that's kind of the beginning

point for this whole discussion. So explain what you did. On January, 2023, I surveyed, after being so many years in the space and the field of change, I surveyed 1,000 people all over the US. All of them, like so many of us said, oh yeah, I'm going to do all these amazing things. I'm going to lose the weight.

I'm going to save more money. I'll be more present with my team. I'm going to do better with my business. I'll spend more time with my kids, whatever their goal was. What I found out was that no matter what category, no matter what it is that those people wanted to do, 94% of the people surveyed dropped their goals

within the first 60 days. Which is a lot of goals not achieved, but those 6%, the other 6% that did achieve them, what did they do differently that allowed them to achieve their goal? One of the things that the 6 did they do differently that allowed them to achieve their goal? One of the things that the six percenters do differently is they pick one goal at the time for 30 days and do only that.

So rather than trying to do this and this and this and that, overwhelm your brain, drop the whole thing. They say, okay, for the next 30 days, I'm going to go to the gym every day at six o'clock. Repeat, repeat, repeat for 30 days. It automates that new behavior in the brain. Then they pick another goal, then they pick another. The domino effect of rather than overwhelming yourself with a lot of things, getting overwhelmed,

drop the whole thing. How do you get really specific and granular and nail down those new habits one at a time every 30 days? And in that 30 days, as I'm going through and going to the gym every day at six o'clock, and then on Thursday, something comes up. And now I've missed the gym

because I had to go to the kids' school or something. And something happens, and then the next day I'm thinking, well, I missed yesterday. What's another? Right. And then what? And then what? So think about it this way, Mike. Let's say that the beginning of the year you had, I'm just going to come up with a random number. You had 12 goals for yourself. And let's say, because you're talking about what happens if I drop the ball,

which happens to so many people, because you know what? We're human. We're not machines. We're not robots. Life gets in the way. And it can be that you couldn't go to the gym, or it could be that you wanted to save this much money every month and you had this whole system or every week, and then a big expense came, something. Life happens. And so what the six percenters do differently is they say, okay, instead of saying, okay, I have 12 goals, get overwhelmed, drop the whole thing. Let's say that they have 12 goals, they kill them one at the time, nail them one at the

time. And let's say that in the course of the year, Mike, you dropped your goal, you dropped the ball on four things. You were still able to automate eight different new healthy behaviors in the course of the year. That's a huge amount of change. Now think about year two. Now think about year three. That's a transformation.

So the system is very simple. The system says, hey, you drop the ball and something that you wanted to do, don't beat yourself up, don't be hard on yourself. All you need to do is go back to the beginning line and repeat, repeat, repeat for 30 days. One of the things that I've tried to do better, and this has been a frustration for me, is you know, I have like a bowl that I put my keys in my glasses and my wallet when I come

home, but sometimes I don't and then I can't find them. And I try very diligently, and I every day I go looking for them. And some days they're there and some days they're not. And it's just, it's very frustrating because something will happen or I'll come in a different door and put my stuff down there. And it just, there's always something that kind of throws a monkey wrench into the system. Yeah. I love how you bring that up, Mike, because sometimes the things that frustrate us, when people talk about goals,

they think, oh, big, I'm going to change the world. No, no, no. Most of people have goals that start from very everyday things, and that's the right place to start. You start with the small things and you start building those new habits. You start practicing what the six percenters do differently. Back to the point that you're bringing up, it's such a good point because one of the things that the six percenters do differently is that instead of relying on

their willpower, which is what you're doing, you're relying on your willpower to remember to put the keys away when you come into the house, but you get distracted. And there are other things that are happening. So rather than relying on their willpower, they manipulate their environment. That means that either you set a reminder on your phone, or you move where that jar is so that it reminds you, or you put a piece of paper on the floor so that as soon as you come in there's a piece of paper, a note that says put the keys in the jar. Do you see what I'm saying? So, you know, we spend a lot of energy, there's a tendency to spend a lot of energy on relying

on our willpower. Oh, I'm not going to, you know, eat late at night, or I'm not going to forget to drink water or, you know, or I won't forget to put my keys away. But willpower is very flimsy, you know, if you're tired, hungry, you had a bad day, it's just not there anymore. So instead of relying on their willpower, the six percenters manipulate their environment. I bet if you had a sign on the floor when you open the door or on the wall in front

of you that said, put keys away in the jar. You did that for 30 days. After 30 days, it's automated in your brain. The door opens, you're like, oh yeah, I got to put the keys in the jar. I've done that before. I have that neural pathway in my brain. What are some of the common goals people have a problem with? Everybody wants to be healthier.

People want to have better relationships. There's a lot of pain around loneliness and relationships. I noticed that in the research and money. People want to have more money, do better financially. So at the end of the day, everybody wants to live better. And there's a tremendous amount of pain in the world, especially these days, with people that want things, with their relationships, with their money, with their health, and they keep dropping the ball. And a lot of times people ask me, oh, you know, Michelle, how do I, why do I lack confidence? Uh, how do I get more confident?

And you know, Mike confidence breeds success, success breeds confidence. And what's nice about the 6% club is that you start from the little things, you automate them, you know, you start small and it works. And then you say to yourself, wow, this is really cool. I am putting the keys away. I am going to the gym every day. This is so cool. Let me pick a bigger goal.

And you follow the same methodology and it's not complicated and it's not overwhelming and it works. So then your confidence grows. You say to yourself, oh my gosh, I'm so cool. I did it. Let me pick a bigger goal. And so there's an accumulating effect of generating those successes,

one after the other, one after the other, start small, it gets big over time. And so in that respect, it's a process of becoming. You become a 6 percenter. A lot of people come to me and they say, you know what, Michelle, I'm going to be a 6 percenter. And I know that it's possible because it's very underwhelming. It's really not complicated.

It's just a different approach to creating a list and doing all those things and overwhelming yourself. So take, if you can, take a couple of those things you said that people wanna live better. So they want more money, they wanna be healthy and create a common goal and how do you put your toe in the water? I'll give you a real-life example. Last week, so last week I'm giving a keynote.

One of the attendees goes up to the stage and she shared that her goal is to eat healthier. She said to the audience, I'm working with a new coach at the gym and I wanna eat healthier. And the coach also said that I need to eat healthier, but I can't do it. Every time I say I'm gonna eat healthier and it's not working out for me. And the coach is a little annoyed with me and I don't know what to do.

So what we did together, I said to her, listen, eating healthier is very overwhelming because what does that even mean? If know if for the last 30 days 30 days 30 years You're used to eating in a certain way your brain gets so overwhelmed like what do you mean? What does that even mean drops the whole thing? So I said for the next 30 days all you're gonna do is just change your lunch That's all you're gonna focus on. I don't care what you eat for the rest of the day You're gonna do that you can automate. After you automate it for 30 days,

once you hit the 30 days mark, it's automated in your brain. Now, just change your snack. And I said, if you look at the next six months, your likelihood of succeeding in changing your eating habits in the next six months, if you follow that methodology versus I'm going to eat healthier, get overwhelmed, drop the whole thing is incredibly higher. And that's how you reach transformation. How about, I know people, there's a huge problem with people not saving money. But it's such a big thing.

Saving $5 is not doing much. So people just go, oh, screw it, and they don't do anything. So how do you set that 30-day thing up so it becomes a habit? So let's take just what you said, Mike. I love that, because that was so specific and granular. I call that the law of specification. So you were just super specific. You said $ dollars every day, right?

So if you said for the next 30 days, all I need to do is every day I need to transfer five dollars into the saving account. Super simple. The problem is, like you said, people are like, oh, you know, I was busy today. I didn't do it. I don't know if it's even going to work. But that's the goal you set for yourself. The first thing you do, you manipulate your environment.

So you set a reminder on your phone every day at the same time. So let's say 15 minutes before dinner, you transfer $5 to your savings account, every day at the same time, because your goal is to automate. And so you set a reminder on your phone. I promise you after the 30 days, Mike,

even if you don't have a reminder on your phone, you're gonna be like, what time is it? 5.45, what do I do at 5.45? I transfer $5 into my savings account. And so that's how you use, it's a specific goal, it's very attainable, all you need to do is automate it. And then it becomes a habit. And then you can say, you know what, second month,

I'm gonna transfer $10 into my savings account every day at 5.45. And so you do that. And so over time, you get yourself into habits that build you. And you can do that in every single aspect of your life. It's simple, it's specific, it's doable, and it's a lot more attainable than to say,

I'm gonna save so much more money this year, you know, definitely going to do it. Get overwhelmed. The brain doesn't even know what it means. Drop the whole thing. So much more attainable, so much simpler. Well, that brings up a point about goals because people often say, well, you know, I want to have more money. I want to be healthier. I want to, well, that's not a... There's no way to measure that you ever get there because that's not really a goal. What's more money? What's healthier? It doesn't mean anything. Exactly. Exactly. And that's what your brain says. Your brain says, I don't know what you mean. You know, think

about it this way, Mike. The brain takes about 20% of the overall body energy. So the brain is very costly to the body in terms of energy. 20% is a lot. And it's 20% just to do what you know how to do already, just to live. Every time you ask your brain to do something different, to start a new habit, you're asking for a lot. And so your brain would prefer to do what it knows

how to do already. So if you say every time, oh yeah, I'm going to save so much more money and you don't do it, the next time you say it, your brain would say, can we just do that? Can we just drop the whole thing? Because I have a neural pathway for that. If you want to curb your brain's tendency to pull you towards your old habits, the only way you can do that is by using what I call the law of specification, which means you get really specific and granular. Don't just say, I'm going to save more money. Get as specific and as granular as possible. So you say, I'm going to save $5 a day.

I'm going to save $100 a month. I'm going to do that every last day of the month. Whatever it is that your plan is, be as specific and as granular as possible. Otherwise, I promise you, your brain will prefer, just for saving energy purposes, to pull you towards your old ways. And that's not what you want.

Well, I understand what you said about setting these big, huge goals. But can you set them too small? And what I mean by that is, if you make it a habit to send $5 a day to your savings account, something to remember every single day, and at the end of the month, $5 a day, look at what you've got. Hardly anything.

Was it worth it? Maybe you should have shot a little higher. There's nothing wrong with setting big goals. Nothing wrong. I love setting big goals. I set big goals for myself. I think that big goals are exciting. As long as you take whatever goals and whatever goal you have for yourself,

you don't owe anyone an explanation why you want to save five dollars or why you want to save a thousand dollars or why you want to save $5 or why you want to save $1,000 or why you want to take, doesn't matter. It has to be important for you. And I have a tool for that, but it's called the zero to 10 rule. And the zero to 10 rule is a tool for a lot of things. But one of the things that it measures is how much you care about something. So if you don't really care, I asked my daughter the other day, my youngest one, my 16 year

old, you know, she said she's not going to the gym as much as she thought she would. And I said, how much do you care about it? Zero to 10. That's the zero to 10 rule. And she said, actually, four. So I said, well, that's why you're not going. It's not important enough for you. So no matter what your goal are, make sure it doesn't matter big or

small, you don't owe anyone an explanation, make sure that it's a 10 for you, which means something that you really feel very strongly about. Because if it's not a 10 for you, you're not going to care enough to make the effort. And so you pick a something that's a 10 for you, it can be big, it can be small, no matter what it is, and you go for it, and you manipulate your environment, you get really specific and granular. It's not complicated, super practical, and whatever it is that you want for yourself, go ahead and do it because it's in your hands. You don't have to be the kind of person

that talks about goals, gets overwhelmed, drops the whole thing. Whatever your goals are, you can get there. You just have to use the whole thing. Whatever your goals are, you can get there. You just have to use the right methodology. There are some goals, though, that are really hard. It isn't just a matter of remembering to do it. I mean, losing weight, I mean, statistically, your chances are just so low that you will take the weight

off and keep it off. Stopping smoking is really hard to do, even if you're committed to doing it. There are some that where the odds are really, the deck is stacked against you. You don't care about the statistics, you care about yourself. And whatever it is that you want to do, you can do. A lot of people stop smoking and they just decide that it's a 10 for them

and they go for it. A lot of people do amazing things with weight or amazing things with health because it's a 10 for them and they go for it. A lot of people do amazing things with weight or amazing things with health because it's a 10 for them. It doesn't matter what this, don't look at the statistics. It doesn't matter what other people do. And it's not a matter of remembering to do it. It's a matter of manipulating your environment to do it and being very specific. So if you don't look to the left, don't look to the right,

don't look at people on social media, don't look at the numbers, look at yourself. What do you really want to do that is really important for you right now, that is a 10? Get specific, get granular, and know that you can do it. Doesn't matter what other people can and cannot do. What about the idea of if you have a goal of doing it, trying to achieve it with along with somebody else? That's amazing. That's wonderful as long as that someone supports you. So there's going to be

people around you and we do talk about the people that surround you. There's going to be people around you that will tell you that you can't do it. All you need to do is focus and follow the methodology and it's going to generate success. So surround yourself with people that support you and then if you have those people as a support system, as accountability buddies, it's amazing because it's going to make you stronger. So mind the people that surround you and make sure that you surround yourself with people that support you, uplift you, and share your optimistic and justified,

crushing your goals. It would seem that sometimes people do things not because they're all that enthusiastic about it, but it's because other people are nagging them, oh, you gotta lose some weight, oh, you really should stop smoking, oh, give it a try. And there isn't a big commitment to it.

You're either doing it because somebody else wants you to, or, but there isn't a lot of momentum built behind this. So let's apply the zero to 10 rule here, it's not gonna work. It's not gonna work because you don't care enough. If you really care about something, you're going to do amazing at getting there. You just need the right methodology. But if you don't care enough, you just don't care enough.

You've got to have a sit down with yourself and ask yourself, what do I really want? What is a ten for me right now? And you don't owe anyone an explanation for why your 10 is your 10. But whatever that 10 is, go get it. Yeah, and if it's not a 10 for you, then when you think about it, well, why bother? This has been great. I've been talking with Dr. Michelle Rosen. She's author of the book, The 6% Club, Unlock the Secret to Achieving Any Goal and Thriving in Business and Life. And there's a any goal and thriving in business and life.

And there's a link to her book in the show notes. Thanks for talking about this, Michelle. I appreciate the insight and the enthusiasm. It's contagious. Thank you so much, Mike. I'm sure you were told since you were very, very young to sit up straight. But some experts say that's actually bad advice for your back. Sitting up straight in a chair puts strain on your spine and ligaments, and over time

that can lead to pain and deformity and chronic illness. That doesn't mean you should slouch or lean forward either. That's even worse. The best position for your back is leaning slightly back at an angle of about 135 degrees. If you work at a computer give your back a break and recline a little bit. And don't forget to get up and walk around. It is one of the best things you can do for your back and that is something you should know. Our producers are Jeffrey Havison and Jennifer Brennan. Our executive producer is Ken Williams. I'm Mike Carruthers.

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