Something You Should Know - The Power of Things That Never Change & The Magic of the Doctor/Patient Bond

Starting point is 00:00:00 The search for truth never ends. Introducing June's Journey, a hidden object mobile game with a captivating story. Connect with friends, explore the roaring 20s, and enjoy thrilling activities and challenges while supporting environmental causes. After seven years, the adventure continues with our immersive travels feature. Explore distant cultures and engage in exciting experiences. There's always something new to discover. Are you ready?

Starting point is 00:00:27 Download June's Journey now on Android or iOS. Today on Something You Should Know, the power of a kiss to make or ruin a relationship. Then, some things never change, yet we give our attention to the things that do change. Change is exciting. It's fun to think about. Change is also the biggest threat in your life. But I would just posit that the things that do stay the same,

Starting point is 00:00:54 the traits of human behavior that keep repeating themselves, are the most important things that you can pay attention to. Also, how having kids can improve your immune system. And the more kids, the better. And how you can improve the quality of the medical care you receive. And there's a lot you can do. The studies show that when you go to your doctor's office, you only remember about 20% of what you heard.

Starting point is 00:01:18 Can you believe that? So 80% you totally don't know. And the 20% you do remember remember the studies show half of it is wrong all this today on something you should know this winter take a trip to tampa on porter airlines enjoy the warm tampa bay temperatures and warm porter hospitality on your way there all porter fares include beer, wine, and snacks, and free fast-streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation includes good times, relaxation, and great Gulf Coast weather. Visit flyporter.com and actually

Starting point is 00:01:58 enjoy economy. Something You Should Know. If you ever find yourself in a bad mood, one quick remedy would be to find someone and kiss them. It seems that a simple kiss can release powerful brain chemicals, including endorphins and oxytocin. Just be sure to kiss the appropriate person to get the right kind of boost. Kissing someone you know and love will increase your sense of security and well-being. It also matters what kind of kisser you are. Interestingly, a Gallup survey found that 59% of 58 men and 66% of 122 women admitted that there have been times when they were attracted to someone, only to find that their interest evaporated right after that first kiss.

Starting point is 00:03:08 What's fascinating is that the bad kisses had no particular flaw. They just didn't feel right. And that ended the relationship right there and then. The kiss became the kiss of death for that couple. And that is something you should know. I think we've all pretty much bought into the idea that everything changes. Change is exciting. Change is inevitable. We change as we age. The world changes. Technology changes. Everything changes.

Starting point is 00:03:42 Quick, think of something that doesn't change. It's hard to come up with something. Actually, though, some things do not change, or they change in predictable cycles, and there just may be some value in paying attention to the things that stay the same. That's according to my guest, Morgan Housel. He is a partner at the Collaborative Fund and a two-time winner of the Best in Business Award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers. He's author of a book called Same as Ever, A Guide to What Never Changes. Hey, Morgan, welcome to Something You Should Know. Thanks so much for having me, Mike. So, you know, in a world where everyone's talking about change, why are we talking about stuff that

Starting point is 00:04:26 stays the same? This is an issue, I think, for two reasons. Number one is that change is exciting. That's what's thrilling. It's fun to think about. Change is also the biggest threat in your life. Like, how is the world going to change and affect your job, affect your career? That's one of the reasons.

Starting point is 00:04:42 I think the second reason is that we are just so bad at predicting what is going to change. And our collective track record on predicting the stock market, the economy, the presidential election cycle, whatever it might be, is not just bad, it's horrendous. So then once you come to that realization, there are two things you can do. One, you can become a cynic and just say, nobody knows anything about the future, why even bother? Or you can step back and say, okay, well, if we don't know what's going to change, what can we put our weight on? What do we know is going to stay the same? So that's why over the years, I just started thinking about what is going to stay. What do we know with certainty is going to be in our life 10, 20, 50, 500 years from now?

Starting point is 00:05:24 So what are the things that are going to stay the same 10, 50, 500 years from now. So what are the things that are going to stay the same 10, 20, 500 years from now? I focused on 23 of them. Some of my favorites, just a couple of my favorites that I think apply all over the place is the idea that the best story wins. Not the best idea, not the right idea, not the correct answer. What really gets people's attention and gets people nodding their head is just the best story. And I think this drives a lot of people crazy. If you are the kind of person who thinks the world is going to be governed by the right answer, you're an analytical thinker. And you see all these people being persuaded by just a great narrative, a great story. It can drive you crazy.

Starting point is 00:06:01 And it's also actually a pretty optimistic thing for people to realize that you can actually make a lot of change in the world, whether it's a new business or a new career, not by inventing something new, but just telling a better story about something that's already existed. One other that I think about is the idea that people who think about the world in different ways that you admire, people whose traits that you really admire, entrepreneurs, politicians, whoever you meet, almost certainly also have traits that you would not admire. And you usually do not get balance out of people who are thinking outside of the box, so to speak. So Elon Musk is the best example of somebody who has these amazing positive traits in terms of his entrepreneurial abilities, his engineering abilities, his willingness to take a big risk.

Starting point is 00:06:44 And also, what comes with that as part of the package are all these traits that can rub people the wrong way in terms of what he does on social media, some of his political views. And I think all of those things have to come in the same package. You know what I find interesting is that we have so bought into this idea that everything changes and that change is always coming and it's inevitable that things will change. That if you ask someone randomly on the street, tell me something that stays the same, that doesn't change. I think most people would have to really think like, wait, well, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:07:19 What doesn't change? Because it seems like everything changes. But as you point out, sometimes it's something so simple. Like you say, in 1960, the most popular candy bar was a Snickers and it is so today as well and has been ever since. It doesn't change. It stays the same. One person told me about a year ago, I thought this was really brilliant. He said, the most powerful brand that's ever been created is the Beatles. And I said, the Beatles, why? And he said, because the Beatles have remained cool across about 30 years from now? I would bet probably. But I think it's extremely rare that that would occur. So there's a quote at the very start of the book that I really loved, which is a quote from Voltaire.

Starting point is 00:08:14 And that is, history never repeats itself, but man always does. Every recession is different. Every war is different. Every presidency is different. Every technology cycle completely different in terms of the details of what's happening. But man never changes. So there's always going to be wars. There's always going to be recessions. There's always going to be technology cycles. It's just kind of separating the 30,000 foot views of how humans behave that will never change. It's interesting what you said about the Beatles. And I would

Starting point is 00:08:43 disagree somewhat in that I think it's not just the Beatles, it's rock and you said about the Beatles and I would disagree somewhat in that I think it's not just the Beatles it's rock and roll that has remained cool for generations unlike any other form of music I mean other forms of music classical music are still relevant I don't know that they're cool but rock and roll is still cool. And the Rolling Stones are still cool. The Who, Pink Floyd, Fleetwood Mac. I mean, they've been cool for a very long time. There are, you know, classic rock radio stations that play rock and roll and oldies radio stations that play old songs. Rock and roll, not just the Beatles, has remained cool. Yeah. I mean, it's mean, there's probably some survivorship

Starting point is 00:09:25 bias in terms of I wouldn't be able to name the top 20 rock and roll hits from 1965, but everyone knows the Beatles. Everyone knows Mick Jagger, of course. So there's some survivorship bias, but it's very rare. If you go back and look at the top bands from 1999 or 1989, the vast majority of them not only don't exist anymore, but most people, particularly young people, have never heard of them. So to have that kind of endurance across different generations is pretty rare. I even think it's true for some cities that it's hard for individual cities to keep it going for more than about 20 or 50 years. Or it's just to say that they are very cyclical. So in the 1950s, some of the best cities in America were Detroit, St. Louis,

Starting point is 00:10:12 Baltimore. Or if you went back to the 1970s and 80s, one of the grungiest, dirtiest cities in America was New York. 10 years ago, San Francisco could do nothing wrong. And San Francisco today is collapsing by the day. So all these things that you would think would be really immortal tend to go through a lot of cycles in life. The number of things that do change and go through cycles vastly outnumbers the things that will stay the same over time. But I would just posit that the things that do stay the same, the traits of human behavior that keep repeating themselves, are the most important things that you can pay attention to. Because why? Why is that so important? Rather than trying to figure out what's going to change next, what's the next big thing? I think that the operative phrase that you used there was figure out, because it's impossible to know.

Starting point is 00:11:02 We can try to pretend that we're going to figure out when the next recession is going to be, who's going to win the next presidency, what the next big technology is going to be. But the history of it is abysmal. My background has really been in finance and economics. And so the most important things that you want to predict are when's the next recession and when's the next bear market? And we've never been able to do it. Never. I did an interview with Robert Shiller from Yale University about a decade ago. Shiller won the Nobel Prize in economics for his work in behavioral finance. And he did a lot of work on the Great Depression, studying the Great Depression. And he and other economic historians have dug through newspapers, articles, research reports with the idea of, let me find one person

Starting point is 00:11:45 who predicted the Great Depression in the 1920s. Find one person who saw this coming. And he says, zero, does not exist. And so if you have a full-blown profession filled with very smart people, very smart academics pouring through data, and not a single person could have seen the most important economic event of the century coming, then what do people like you and I have to rest our hope on? It's pretty bad. So I think that's why it's so important is that the things that we know are not going to change are just the only things that we can put confidence into. And everything else is kind of dust blowing in the wind. So that's why I think it's so important. And I think if you don't acknowledge that concept,

Starting point is 00:12:28 then the danger is that you put confidence in your ability to predict the next recession. And when you have confidence in that, those are the people who tend to make the biggest financial mistakes. And I think you could extend that to politics, relationships, whatever it might be. If you're putting, if you have overconfidence

Starting point is 00:12:45 in things that you really have no idea what's going to happen next for. We're talking about things that don't change. And my guest is Morgan Housel. He is author of a book called Same As Ever, a guide to what never changes. Metrolinks and Crosslinks are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. This is an ad for BetterHelp.

Starting point is 00:13:29 Welcome to the world. Please, read your personal owner's manual thoroughly. In it, you'll find simple instructions for how to interact with your fellow human beings and how to find happiness and peace of mind. Thank you, and have a nice life. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with an owner's manual. That's why there's BetterHelp Online Therapy.

Starting point is 00:13:47 Connect with a credentialed therapist by phone, video, or online chat. Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more. That's BetterHelp.com. So, Morgan, maybe it's human nature that we want to know what's coming. We want, as you say, we want certainty. But you have to wonder why we put all these experts on TV and listen to these pundits promise that, you know, the next big recession, whatever is coming is coming. And they're always wrong. You know, there's this whole genre of experts that are called futurists who, you know, basically predict the future. What's the next big thing?

Starting point is 00:14:27 And they're always wrong. So why do we keep listening? I think the first point is we are always going to keep listening. No matter what the track record is, we're going to keep coming back and listening. Because I think what we want is we don't want to necessarily know the future. We want someone to remove uncertainty from our lives. And even if we know that this pundit is full of it and their track record is awful and they've never predicted anything accurately in their life, if they tell you what you want

Starting point is 00:14:55 to hear, which is I have a solution to keep you safe or I have a secret to make you rich, those are things people want to hear. And back to the best story wins. If you tell somebody what they want to hear, you can be wrong indefinitely without penalty because you are actually delivering what they want, which is a reduction of uncertainty in their brain. And that feels good. It gives them a little hit of dopamine of, oh, that actually makes me feel better that I see that the economy looks really bad. But you're telling me we're actually going to be OK. You made me feel better. And I appreciate that. But do you realize, of course you do. You realize how stupid that sounds that we listen to people that we know are wrong and have a history of being wrong.

Starting point is 00:15:39 And I always wonder, like, you know, there are plenty of economists or experts on the economy that will come on TV and write and whatever, and they're always wrong. And I wonder, like, do they go home at night and go, God, I really suck at this? Or do they think, well, maybe I wasn't quite on the mark there, but, you know, I did a good thing. I think by and large, it's the latter. And the huge majority of these people are good, honest, well-meaning people. But I think it's a truth that not just in finance, but in health or geopolitics, when the stakes are very high, when it looks like there's a lot of uncertainty, there's a lot of risk, shrugging your shoulders and saying nobody knows anything feels reckless. And therefore,

Starting point is 00:16:25 even if the track record on these predictions is terrible, the fact that you are trying to come up with some sort of vision makes you feel better. And there's that famous quote from World War II where there's a general asking for the weather forecast. And someone says, general, our weather forecasts don't have any accuracy. We have no ability to predict the weather for the next five days. And the general comes back and he says, the general knows that the weather forecasts are inaccurate, but he needs them anyways for planning purposes. And I think that's what really it gets down to. Just saying we have no idea feels reckless.

Starting point is 00:16:59 And it adds to the uncertainty that we're trying to battle inside of our heads. And even to answer your question, as ridiculous as it sounds, I'm sure, of course, I do this, you do this, because the act of removing uncertainty gives us a little bit of comfort in a world that we can accurately identify as so risky and so uncertain. Yeah, well, it's one thing to predict your own future and be wrong. It's another thing to tell the world what's going to happen and be so wrong. But I want to get you to comment on it, because we say that everything changes, and change never work, or I like the old way better. There's this big resistance to change, even though we've all kind of given into the fact that everything's going to change. Yeah. I think it's pretty common that when there's a new technology that's doing something

Starting point is 00:17:58 different, you almost resist it because adapting that new technology is an admission that you've been doing things wrong up until that point or that there was a better way to do it up until that point. Some of the starkest examples of this is when the car first came about in the early 1900s, it was almost universally panned as inferior to the horse. And how dare people want to ride in cars because that's a danger to the horse industry, to the noble horse. And one nuance here is that by and large, in the beginning, they were right. The early editions of the car were less efficient than the horse.

Starting point is 00:18:33 And the early editions of the airplane were much less efficient and more dangerous than the train. So it's true that most V1 technology, like first version, first edition technology is inferior to the incumbent. And that creates a lot of pushback on what we have. But it's also true, I think, that it just makes you feel bad about what you've always been doing. There's a great quote from Douglas Adams in A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, where he says, I'm paraphrasing, but he says, any new technology that comes about before age 30, you view as positive because you can make

Starting point is 00:19:11 a career out of it. You're like, oh, there's this new thing and I can start a career and build my career on top of this new technology. But any new technology that comes out after you're age 40, I think he said, is a threat to the career that you've already built up. The idea though, that, you know, today we hear that, and it seems like we've heard this before, that with AI and, you know, that today's technology really is going to put everybody out of work, that, that it seems like that the threat is always the one that's looming. And that somehow, but somehow we kind of figure it out and things kind of settle down but today we hear that you know everybody's job is in jeopardy because of this is that historically true that that the threat seems horrible at the time and then it goes away

Starting point is 00:19:58 i think there's some there's some nuance to this in terms of, let's go back 100 years when new machinery was going to put some farmers out of business because all farming used to be manual labor. Now, all of a sudden, you have tractors and whatnot that can do the work of what 10 people used to do. So at the time, there was a pretty fierce pushback among farmers during this period that some of them were going to be kind of not relevant anymore. Their labor was not going to be needed anymore. And here's the thing, that was true for them, even if those machines for the economy as a whole made the economy as a whole more productive and

Starting point is 00:20:36 increased employment. So if you were one of the people who got pushed out, then yes, it was awful for you. But for the whole economy, it was a boon for virtually everyone else. And I think that's the case. So the internet, by and large, killed travel agents. Well, if you were a travel agent in the 90s, that sucked for you. But the internet, by and large, has created more jobs, more opportunities, higher paying jobs for people writ large. So it's not black or white. It's just if you are part of the industry that is being pushed out, particularly if you are an older member of that industry and you feel like, or it is too late for you to learn a new skill. If you're 25 and your job

Starting point is 00:21:17 becomes obsolete, by and large, you can probably recover. If you're 45 and you have two kids in college, it's going to be a lot harder, way harder. So I think that's where that luddite tendency comes in of saying this is going to put everyone out of jobs versus the other end of the spectrum saying this is great, we should all embrace this. Both of those can be true. There's definitely going to be a subset of people for whom AI is going to push out of business. But I would also be shocked if it were not the case that in 10 years, in 20 years, we look back and say, the economy is more resilient and wealthier, and there are more jobs in aggregate because of AI. Well, I remember somebody telling me once, I always thought this was interesting advice, and it relates to a lot of different things. But there's really something to be said for low expectations, because if you're wrong, you're pleasantly surprised. And if you meet your low expectations. And there's another quote that I love from Montesquieu.

Starting point is 00:22:25 And he said this 300 years ago. He says, if you only wish to be happy, that's very easy. But people wish to be happier than other people. And that is much more difficult to accomplish. And I think that gets to the point, particularly in a world that most of us live in the Western world, in which things tend to get better over time. There's a lot of volatility, there's a lot of ups and downs, but over the course of a generation, most things get better for most people.

Starting point is 00:22:53 So in that world, if your expectations are growing faster than your circumstances, if your income doubles, but your expectations triple, you feel like you're falling behind. And one thing that has really sent this into overdrive just in the past couple of years is social media, of course, because there's no such thing as an objective measure of wealth. Everything is just relative to people around you.

Starting point is 00:23:15 You look at your economic circumstances, your life circumstances relative to your neighbors and your coworkers and your siblings, whoever it might be. And it's always been like that, that everything is relative. But now the people who we are judging ourselves against and your coworkers and your siblings, whoever it might be. And that's, it's always been like that, that everything is relative. But now the people who we are judging ourselves against is a curated highlight reel on Instagram or Facebook or TikTok or whatever it would be. And so now we are comparing ourselves to the highlight reel of the entire world that is algorithmically curated to show you posts that are going to get the biggest emotional response out of you. And I see this in my own kids. My son is eight years old. When I was a kid in the 90s, my definition of rich were the people who bought new pickup trucks and average were people who

Starting point is 00:23:57 drove used pickup trucks. That was the scale. That was the spectrum of which I was looking at. Whereas my son today, his definition of like moderately well-off is like a Lamborghini and a private jet and a private island. Cause that's what he sees on Mr. Beast. The one it's just a totally different world of comparison than I grew up in. And we're talking one generation here. I think we don't fully recognize or know what the consequences of that will be, to have a generation of young people who are growing up, as we speak, with way higher expectations than any generation has had that came before them.

Starting point is 00:24:32 Well, this has been really fun because it makes you think about the things that change, the things that stay the same, the things that cycle and repeat. It's impossible to predict, but it's fun to watch. I've been talking to Morgan Housel. He is a partner at the Collaborative Fund and author of a book called Same As Ever, A Guide to What Never Changes. And if you'd like to read it, there is a link to that book in the show notes. Appreciate it. Thanks for coming on, Morgan. Cool. This has been fun. Thanks so much. Appreciate it. At Wealthsimple, we're built for whatever you're building. Built for Jane,

Starting point is 00:25:10 who wants to break into the housing market. We're built for Ted, who's obsessed with what's happening in the global markets. And built for Celine, who just wants to retire and explore the world's flea markets. So take a moment and think about what you're building for. We've got the financial tools to help make it happen. Wealthsimple, built for possibilities. Visit wealthsimple.com slash possibilities. People who listen to Something You Should Know are curious about the world, looking to hear new ideas and perspectives. So I want to tell you about a podcast that is full of new ideas and perspectives, and one I've started listening to called Intelligence Squared.

Starting point is 00:25:52 It's the podcast where great minds meet. Listen in for some great talks on science, tech, politics, creativity, wellness, and a lot more. A couple of recent examples, Mustafa Suleiman, the CEO of Microsoft AI, discussing the future of technology. That's pretty cool. And writer, podcaster, and filmmaker John Ronson discussing the rise of conspiracies and culture wars. Intelligence Squared is the kind of podcast

Starting point is 00:26:21 that gets you thinking a little more openly about the important conversations going on today. Being curious, you're probably just the type of person Intelligence Squared is meant for. Check out Intelligence Squared wherever you get your podcasts. I find it interesting that very often you see TV segments on the morning news shows or hear other podcasts of people talking about the importance of the doctor-patient relationship. While at the same time, many of us, if not most of us, have experienced a deterioration in that relationship. It's hard to get in to see the doctor. You have to wait. you don't get much time. There really isn't much of a relationship. And my sense is it used to be a lot better. Given the way things are today, how can we maximize our relationship with health care

Starting point is 00:27:17 and get the most out of it? Well, here to explain and offer some advice is Ken Redcross. He is a medical doctor and author of the book, Bond, The Four Cornerstones of a Lasting and Caring Relationship with Your Doctor. Hey, Ken, welcome to Something You Should Know. Oh, hi, Mike. How are you? Thank you so much for having me on. So in broad strokes here, what is it people are supposed to do to improve this relationship that, you know, it usually takes two to improve a relationship.

Starting point is 00:27:46 And it does seem that the doctors have less time. They're always in a hurry. It's all filling in the computer forms and not a lot of eye contact and, you know, deep, thoughtful questions. So what's a person to do? Oh, God, that's a great question there, Mike. Look, so I want everyone to think about this. When you go to see your doctor lots of times, lots of times we're just running around, right? You're like, oh, I have a doctor's appointment at 3 o'clock. I'm running around from work, and I'm running in. No. I want everybody now to think about going to your doctor's office almost really as a strategy.

Starting point is 00:28:18 In other words, I want you to be prepared before the visit as to what do you want to get accomplished? What will make this a visit that was really, really fruitful for you? And if you think about it that way, Mike, it becomes a little bit more than just, oh, I have an appointment. It's like, you know, this is a time for me to kind of hit the pause button and figure out what do I really want to happen at this interaction and after this interaction with your doctor. So very often when I go to the doctor, what I want to get out of it is get out of there as fast as I can. That's all I want.

Starting point is 00:28:51 I'm going to go in, they're going to look around, turn and cough, do what you do, and let's move on with life. Right, right. Well, it shouldn't necessarily, we'll put it this way, each and every patient is different. I laugh here, Mike, because you're right. You have patients like yourself who we call them walkie talkies. You just come in, you want to walk in, talk and then go. But then there's some people who need

Starting point is 00:29:12 more from the visit and so forth. And so that's why I say when you go in there, if you go in there with that plan, Mike, like you already know what you want, but you want to make sure that you leave with something. You know, the studies show that when you go to your doctor's office, you only remember about 20% of what you heard, Mike. Can you believe that? So 80%, you totally don't know. And the 20% you do remember, the studies show half of it is wrong. So that's why I say it's important that you come in with either taking notes, figuring

Starting point is 00:29:40 out what you want to get from this relationship, even for patients like you, Mike, who come in and kind of want to go out. We still need to have a plan for you as well. Wait, so go back to that statistic you just said. When you leave the doctor's office, you only remember 20% of what the doctor said and half of that is wrong? How can that be? Well, if you think about it, when you go into the doctor's office, you're usually going in because there is a problem. Something is wrong. So your mind is not necessarily perfectly focused on each and every word that's coming out of your doctor's mouth, especially when you're getting news that you don't want to necessarily hear.

Starting point is 00:30:18 One of the things I talk a lot about as well, Mike, is coming into your doctor's appointment with a friend or a family member you know two two sets of ears are better than one because you'd be surprised it's like that old game i may i may date myself here mike but when you have that you talk in this cup and everybody has a different message and by the time you get to the end you're like oh where did that come from um and so that's why i say it's important to make sure you possibly can have someone with you as well because yeah the studies show you may not necessarily remember it accurately, and there's also some big words being thrown in there from time to time as well. Yeah, that all seems to often happen. And part of this is not just, it seems, the patient's responsibility, but the doctor.

Starting point is 00:31:00 And there has been a lot of concern about how doctors are pushed. Their time is, you know, the patients move them in, move them out. We got to go. We got to go. And there really isn't the time to spend talking about the things that you might want to talk about. Well, I appreciate you bringing that up because you're right. This patient, Dr. Bond, it should be a sharing sort of thing. I mean, I always like to make sure that patients should feel equal to their doctors in different ways. Now, us as physicians, you're right. You know, the healthcare

Starting point is 00:31:29 system has changed. The landscape is, as I said before, really focused a lot on volume instead of value. And so that's why it's always important that you make sure you have this discussion with your doctor to say, hey, look, you know, these are certain expectations that I'd like to have. And what sort of expectations would you like from me? In other words, your doctor may say, can you please arrive on time? Can you please follow my recommendations? But those are the important discussions you need to have. And it's also funny, Mike, because patients will say, gosh, you know, it feels like my appointments are so fast. Well, you know what, guys, they are. On average, your appointment time is ending up being only about seven and a half minutes with your doctor. So you tell me how you can really get in, get a chance to know the patient

Starting point is 00:32:14 well, see how things are going in their lives and in their families and what the new TikTok craze is in seven minutes. It's seven and a half minutes. It's almost impossible. Well, so what is this? This is something I think a lot of people wonder about. So when the doctor asks about the latest TikTok craze or, you know, how things are going at school or how things are going at work, what does that have to do with you and whether you're sick or not and what's wrong with you? It seems like, you know, filler talk that's not very relevant. Oh gosh, well look, I'll tell you this. There's so much that's important about this patient-doctor relationship than just the problem. You have people who are dealing with different challenges, whether it be anxiety or the S-word, which I

Starting point is 00:33:02 always call the S-word stress everyone because I don't like to say it. But the point is, when you have some of those things going on, if you don't really dive into that with your doctor, we won't know those things because they can cause true physical manifestations. And so one of the bigger things I try to make sure when I talk to other doctors and professionals is to try to train them so that we can improve the emotional focus on the patient doctor relationship, because that's such a huge part of how we live. When you really think about it, everyone, we are really emotional beings. And I think that's what healthcare has kind of forgotten a bit, because we all need to have that time with our doctor. Even if it's you running in

Starting point is 00:33:40 and running out, Mike, you need to know that the doctor cares about you and really has your best interest at heart before you even trust him or her to take their advice and recommendations. Yeah, but it seems like that would be up to the doctor to bring up because I can't imagine for me that, you know, when I'm talking to the doctor that I would bring up trivial things about my life. I mean, this is a medical doctor. He wants to hear medical things. I'm there for a medical reason. I'm not going to bring up trivial stuff. If he wants to know, then he ought to ask, or she. Oh, no. Well, I'll tell you. So it just depends. So for instance, I'll have someone like yourself who's busy or an executive that comes in. But it's important for me to know, how was his daughter's wedding? You're like, well's busy or an executive that comes in. But, you know, it's important for me to know how was his daughter's wedding.

Starting point is 00:34:27 You're like, well, well, well, Doc, what does that matter? Well, he tells me about his daughter's wedding. We find out how wonderful it was, how happy it made him. We're now also dealing with his blood pressure issues and his S word issues and so forth and start to recognize that that's been the bigger challenge but if i don't ask some of those things mike that allow me to kind of peel back the layers of the onion i can't get into the soul of the patient the same way and so i hear what you're saying and that that's kind of the doctor's point as well but once again if you're really thinking about your appointment everyone as a strategy think about some things that you want to get out as well or get from the doctor's visit that you didn't think you could because you thought that this was kind of a one-sided discussion.

Starting point is 00:35:10 It seems, though, that if there's going to be this, you know, casual chit-chat conversation about what's going on in my life, that that's more up to the doctor to bring up because I'm not going to bring it up. This is a doctor. He's a medical guy with medical questions, and I'm here for a medical reason. I'm not going to be talking about weddings and TikTok and that kind of thing, unless they ask, but I'm not going to bring it up. Well, and that gets back to the other important point, Mike, and I'm glad you said that. Then that's why it's important you have to interview your doctors ahead of time. You need to yourself like for instance you know yourself Mike to say hey look I'm a guy that wants to come in doc I want to be seen taking care of and

Starting point is 00:35:52 I'm out of there but that's okay so you know what type of doc you need but if I have one of my 90 year old patients who I just saw before we came on now she needs my time she needs we're together, we were together today about an hour and 45 minutes. She picked me as a doctor because she knew that I could provide that. So all of you out there listening, it's the same thing. Whether you're like my 90-year-old patient or like Mike here, you need to know what kind of doctor fits me. Who am I? What kind of time do I need from my doctor?

Starting point is 00:36:24 Do I need a doctor who's open to alternative ways of healing or supplements and so forth? And because there's such a big, supplements have become so important and you have so many people who are having some challenges with their doctors around that. So make sure you have a doctor who fits who you are at this time. I imagine that one of the problems, because when you're talking to your doctor about, you know, very intimate things, I mean, it's your body, that people are embarrassed about saying things. And so they don't say anything at all because they don't want to talk about embarrassing subjects, which leaves a big hole in the story. No, it does. And that gets back to making sure that the connection is exactly the way you did.

Starting point is 00:37:12 It should be. When I say to doctors, you feel like a member of your family. Would you ever be bashful about sharing something with your with your brother or your sister or someone or a cousin? No. And so that's why I say that that gets back to your mentioning before, those little tiny emotional things, the daughter's wedding and the example and those other things, those little things are important to really allow you to really open up. And even when sometimes it's on the flip side, Mike, when you're doing things that you know you shouldn't be doing, that coming clean piece is incredibly important, but you can't do that unless you're really there with the doc and believe that they care about you and really want your best interests at heart.

Starting point is 00:37:49 That's important to make sure that connection is right. One of the things that, I don't think it's just me, but what I find most challenging about going to the doctor is having to wait. If you have an appointment at 2 o'clock and you're still sitting in that waiting room at 3 o'clock, that's frustrating. That's ridiculous. And then you hear that, well, you know, it's hard, patients run over. Well, factor that into your scheduling. But don't those people ever go to the doctor and have to wait an hour and think, gee, this isn't right.

Starting point is 00:38:27 It does seem to be a problem. Yeah, it is. I'm so glad you brought that up because, well, one of the problems is what is it called when you go to your doctor's office? It's already called a waiting room, right? That's counterintuitive to me for somebody who loves a patient, Dr. Bond. It should be a reception area. And I do tell patients a couple of things. Number one, when you go to see your doctor, do your best to get the first appointment

Starting point is 00:38:50 of the day. The reason why I say that is that not only is the doctor really focused and ready to go and bright eyed and bushy tailed, but they're usually on time. The other thing you can do is you call the medical assistant before you get there, Mike. So you can say, hey, is Dr. X, is he or she, are they running late? Are they on time today? Should I reschedule? And also to have a little someone on the inside somewhere sometimes as well can make sure that you don't get a 15 minute appointment, but that you're kind of allocated for a 30 minute appointment. So there's all these little things that you can do to kind of navigate the system a bit

Starting point is 00:39:27 to make sure that, to your point, you're not sitting there all day waiting for the doctor. But tell me why that happens, why they can't figure it out. Well, because it gets back to that big piece that healthcare has decided that volume is more important than that value in spending time with the patient. And then the other thing, guys, is that when you come into the doctor's office, I may have somebody who comes in and once again, they're dealing with stress or anxiety and they say, oh, doc, yeah, I've had this

Starting point is 00:39:54 heaviness on my chest as well. I have a little bit of nausea. I'm sweating. And then that's like, oh my gosh, I need to get an EKG now to see exactly what's going on. So some of those hiccups can happen within the doctor's schedule that you don't see while you're in that reception area, while you're there, not to realizing that, you know what, the doctor has some things going on behind closed doors that he or she are kind of managing. But I agree with you that some of this stuff needs to be built within the doctor's schedule ahead of time. I used to do those sort of things often because I knew that there were patients who, whether they were my diabetics that had other challenges that were going to kind of say, you know what,

Starting point is 00:40:33 Ms. Jones has a lot of things going on. So maybe I should save Ms. Jones for my three o'clock and last appointment of the day so that I didn't get behind. It does seem, and I know I've heard discussions about this before, that in medicine today, when people go to the doctor, they expect something to be done. They want a pill or they want a test or they want something. People aren't really satisfied with, no, you're fine.

Starting point is 00:41:02 You look good. You can't find a single thing wrong with you. You're good to go. People don't want that. Yeah. And that's unfortunately our society, right? You want something now. You want to feel good now. Well, you know, a lot of things, especially on the wellness side, don't necessarily, they're not intended to feel good now. It's intended to keep you here on this beautiful earth longer. And that the important thing so you're right you know a lot of fixes everyone don't necessarily require a pill sometimes it just requires a good talking to and a good discussion about what's actually going on in your life now there are a

Starting point is 00:41:37 lot of things that are important that you can do we talk a lot about or I talk a lot about exercise being important also Also, management of your food. I don't like to say diet because that can cause a lot of different visceral responses as well. But, you know, what you're putting in your body and exercising are all these things that are medicine as well that can make a huge impact in your health without taking a pill or supplement. But diet and exercise seem to be kind of magical prescriptions that if people actually would do them, so many problems would disappear or at least get a lot better. If you want to live on this earth 23 or 28 percent longer, decrease your mortality, the CDC says you exercise 150 minutes a week. That's 30 minutes, five days a week. Think about that.

Starting point is 00:42:26 If that's not magic, I don't know really what is. And then when you think about, hmm, how can I get this sort of exercise? It doesn't have to be running. They did studies, Mike. And actually, you can even walk and get this exact benefit as well. We all do it. And it's not when you say, oh, I walk a lot at work. That doesn't count.

Starting point is 00:42:44 You need to make sure that you can't breathe in complete sentences. That's actually exercise. And then when you talk about food, you'll hear this cliche, but it's so, so true, everyone. Food is medicine. You know, I have friends, I know people who have high blood pressure and they take pills for it, but they're also overweight. And, you know, I'm not a doctor, but from what I understand, if they would lose weight, much of that problem might just disappear on its own without the pills.

Starting point is 00:43:13 But they don't, so they just rely on the pills. Well, it's hard. You know why, Mike? Because it's hard. It's hard. It's hard to go out there and go walking. It's hard to maybe get on that treadmill versus taking this pill where you think everything's going to be better. You know, it's the same thing for diabetes as well. You know, so much of diabetes, type 2 in particular, everyone, is based on being overweight. And managing that sort of thing can make a huge difference and really eliminate a lot of pills. But it's hard to do the hard work.

Starting point is 00:43:46 And so that's when you kind of have to have that look in the mirror moment and kind of say, you know, I heard this doc on my show, he talked about my life experience. And so really look in the mirror and say, how do you want your life experience to be? And how can we make that easier? I think one of the ways to do that is to have the best patient doctor bond, but I also think it's a mixture of nutrition, movement, and spirituality, however that is for you. Do you have a suggestion? Because here's something that I think happens a lot. You're sick, something's wrong, you have a pain, you want to get in to see the doctor, and they say, okay, great, we can see you in three months.

Starting point is 00:44:29 Right. Well, how about today or tomorrow? And is there the secret password or something you can do that helps circumvent the well-meaning person gatekeeper at the front who is just scheduling and the next one is in three months, but I need to see the doctor now. What we will do here is that we will call the front office person and we'll let them know, number one, you're going to be placed on a wait list, right?

Starting point is 00:45:00 A wait list in case there's any cancellations because I'm here to tell everyone, no matter what they tell you, there are cancellations every day. Think about the times when you were running late in traffic and you had to call because you couldn't make your appointment. That's happening every day. So my point is you call, you make nice with the front office person and say, hey, look, can I please be put on a list that if something were to happen, if there's any cancellations that I would be called or if I can check in throughout the day. And if you do that, I'm almost and look, I hate to put guarantees, but usually you're going to get appointment within 48 to 72 hours,

Starting point is 00:45:36 just because when you look at the no show numbers and things of that nature, believe me, somebody has not come to the doctor's office earlier than three months. Believe me. Well, it does seem that more of the responsibility for the doctor-patient relationship The Four Cornerstones of a Lasting and Caring Relationship with Your Doctor. And if you'd like to read that book, there's a link to it at Amazon in the show notes. Thanks, doctor. Thanks for being here. Appreciate it. All right.

Starting point is 00:46:18 Thank you. You take care and be well. The next time your child coughs in your face, you might just want to thank them. If you've got little kids, no doubt they're sneezing around you and touching your stuff with their filthy fingers, and that actually helps your immunity. A study found that parents are actually 50% less likely to catch colds than non-parents. And the more kids you have, the better protected you are. There is one exception to the rule.

Starting point is 00:46:53 In this study, younger parents ages 18 to 23 actually had less protection than parents who were 24 to 55 years old. The younger parents caught just as many colds as non-parents in their age group. And that is something you should know. One thing that is very appreciated and really helps us out is when you leave a rating and review of this podcast on whatever platform you listen to. It only takes a second, and if you would do that,

Starting point is 00:47:22 it is really a great way to show your support for this show. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. Hey, hey, are you ready for some real talk and some fantastic laughs? Join me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa DeMonts, for Don't Blame Me, But Am I Wrong? We're serving up four hilarious shows every week designed to entertain and engage and, you know, possibly enrage you. And don't blame me. We dive deep into listeners' questions, offering advice that's funny, relatable, and real. Whether you're dealing with relationship drama or you just need a friend's perspective, we've got you. Then switch gears with But Am I Wrong?, which is for listeners who

Starting point is 00:47:59 didn't take our advice and want to know if they are the villains in the situation. Plus, we share our hot takes on current events and present situations that we might even be wrong in our lives. Spoiler alert, we are actually quite literally never wrong. But wait, there's more. Check out See You Next Tuesday, where we reveal the juicy results from our listener polls from But Am I Wrong? And don't miss Fisting Friday, where we catch up, chat about pop culture, TV and movies. It's the perfect way to kick off your weekend. So if you're looking for a podcast that feels like a chat with your besties, listen to Don't Blame Me, But Am I Wrong on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

Starting point is 00:48:40 Hi, I'm Jennifer, a co-founder of the Go Kid Go Network. At Go Kid Go, putting kids first is at the heart of every show that we produce. That's why we're so excited to introduce a brand new show to our network called The Search for the Silver Lightning, a fantasy adventure series about a spirited young girl named Isla who time travels to the mythical land of Camelot. During her journey, Isla meets new friends, including King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table, and learns valuable life lessons with every quest, sword fight, and dragon ride. Positive and uplifting stories remind us all about the importance of kindness, friendship, honesty, and positivity. Join me and an all-star cast of actors, including Liam Neeson, Emily Blunt, Kristen Bell, Chris Hemsworth, among many others,

Starting point is 00:49:21 in welcoming the Search for the Silver Lining podcast to the Go Kid Go Network by listening today. Look for the Search for the Silver Lining on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Something You Should Know - The Power of Things That Never Change & The Magic of the Doctor/Patient Bond

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.