Something You Should Know - What Happens When You Love Things Instead of People & What Will Likely Kill You

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Starting point is 00:00:17 You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Today on Something You Should Know, if you let your dog kiss you or eat off your plate, you need to hear something. Then, when people say they love something, like their car or their cell phone, is it really love? 72% of the people I talked to had at least one thing that in their own mind they felt absolutely was really love. And I'm going to let them define that.

Starting point is 00:01:00 Plus, what's the best way to find romantic love the second or third time around? And there are a lot of things that can kill you, and we'll discuss them. But falling in your home? A fall in the home is a very common cause of death. Every year in the U.S. there's almost 40,000 people who die from a slip or a trip or a fall in the home. The most deadly room for falls is the living room. The bedroom is the second

Starting point is 00:01:25 dangerous. All this today on Something You Should Know. People who listen to Something You Should Know are curious about the world, looking to hear new ideas and perspectives. So I want to tell you about a podcast that is full of new ideas and perspectives, and one I've started listening to called Intelligence Squared. It's the podcast where great minds meet. Listen in for some great talks on science, tech, politics, creativity, wellness, and a lot more. A couple of recent examples, Mustafa Suleiman, the CEO of Microsoft AI, discussing the future of technology. That's pretty cool. And writer, podcaster, and filmmaker John Ronson, discussing the rise of conspiracies and culture wars.

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Starting point is 00:02:43 Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. I'd like to point out every once in a while how much we appreciate the advertisers you hear in this podcast. They're very important to us, not only because they help us pay the bills, but you should also know that we vet all the advertisers. I vet many of them personally, and I hope as you hear them throughout this episode and all the episodes, if they are offering something that is of interest that you will consider doing business with them. First up today, have you ever heard someone say that it's okay for a dog to lick your face because a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's mouth. Well, that's not quite true.

Starting point is 00:03:27 In fact, it's way off. A dog's mouth is filled with bacteria. Now, there is some evidence that dog saliva can kill some bacteria, and if a mother dog licks its pups, she may be protecting them from disease. But when you think about what a dog does with its mouth and where it puts its mouth, it is really not a great idea to let your dog lick your face. And a new study is out urging dog owners to stop allowing their dogs to kiss them on the face or allow them to eat off their plate and to even wash your hands after petting your dog

Starting point is 00:04:06 as their saliva, their slobber, may actually be a source of antibiotic-resistant superbugs. And you definitely don't want that. And that is something you should know. Is it possible to be so passionate about something or some activity that you really love it? Can you love your car or your coin collection or can you love gardening or a movie? Some people might say that you can truly only love someone or something that can love you back, like a person or a pet, that you can't really love some inanimate object? Well, meet someone who believes that you not only can love a thing

Starting point is 00:04:54 and have a relationship with it, it's an important part of who we all are. Aaron Ahuvia is a professor of marketing at the University of Michigan, and he is considered to be the most widely published and cited expert on non-interpersonal love. He's author of a book called The Things We Love. Hi, Aaron. Welcome to Something You Should Know. Hi. Thanks so much for having me. So explain what you mean here, because when I hear somebody say things like, oh, I love these shoes, or I love going to the theater, I know what they're saying,

Starting point is 00:05:28 but I've never thought that when they say love, they mean love. They're using the word rather loosely to mean that they really like something or they really enjoy something. But you can't love it because love implies a relationship. That to love a pair of shoes isn't really love because the shoes have no emotion. They can't love you back or reject you. They're just a pair of shoes.

Starting point is 00:05:54 That's a great question, and I get this. What's really interesting to me is that some people feel strongly that way, and it feels obvious to them, and other people feel that that's absurd, and that it feels obvious to them. And other people feel that that's absurd. And that also feels obvious to them. People have very strong intuitions in both ways about this. The very first thing I did when I was starting to research this is I asked people to list things that they loved and they would. And then I would say, okay, for those things that you love or say you love, what do you really mean? I mean,

Starting point is 00:06:25 do you really mean in the strongest, most literal sense of the word that you love this thing? Or are you just kind of using the word loosely, using it metaphorically? 72% of the people I talked to had at least one thing that in their own mind, they felt absolutely was really love. And I'm going to let them define that. One last thought on that. If there are skeptical listeners, what I find helps a lot is if people think about, say, loving nature, most people are like, okay, yeah, people can love nature. How about a patriot loving their country? Sure. Yeah. Someone who's really patriotic might love their country. So people do tend to have to be okay with the idea that you can love things. But what they object to the most is the idea that you can maybe love your cell phone or love your car. It just seems sort of tawdry and not living up to the high aspirations we have for love. And so when you say people love things, does there tend to be something in common or do they tend to be things or is it just it's completely random? People love things just because that's

Starting point is 00:07:39 the thing they love. It's a little of both. People love an enormous variety of things. But these things, if you look at a different level, they often have certain things in common. So one thing that they have in common is that for the person who loves them, they help that person define their identity to sort of become the person they want to be. They're very connected with people's ideas about who they are. They represent certain values or they represent accomplishments or souvenirs for important activities. So they have this connection to the person's sense of identity. The other thing that they have in common or another thing is they often connect one person to another person.

Starting point is 00:08:22 So there's this phrase from another researcher, Russell Belk, who talks about person, thing, person. And the idea is, for example, that you think, oh, it's a relationship between me and my cell phone. But then you realize, well, actually, it's me and my cell phone and the other people that my cell phone connects me to. And the last thing that things all have in common is that they are evaluated as being really good. So this is one of the differences between interpersonal love and people's love of objects or brands

Starting point is 00:09:00 and things like that. If you actually, the scientists do study where they put people into an fMRI machines, they're scanning their brain and they have them look at a picture and think about a person that they love and also an object or a brand that they love. And especially if the person is a child, is their child, people have this tremendous altruistic connection to their children. They really, you know, parents do much more for their kids than kids do for their parents. And that's fine. That's sort of the role of parents. But when they think about an object or a brand,

Starting point is 00:09:38 they don't feel it's altruistic. They feel like, oh, I love this because it does great things for me. And as a result, the things we love are things that we think are really excellent. So what do you find in your research are the things people love the most? Top list. Number one, nature. Number two, if you're religious, God. People often talk about forms of entertainment, movies, television, books, music. People love activities that are exciting, skiing, athletic activities. They also love activities that give them a sense of relaxation, reading a book, listening

Starting point is 00:10:22 to quiet music, taking a hot bath. And then they love things that have a personal connection to them, a photograph of another person, an item that's been in their family, an heirloom that connects them to their family, or something that connects them to a group like, you know, I teach at the University of Michigan. So maybe a University of Michigan t-shirt or attending University of Michigan football games that connects me to this larger group of people. So when people say, oh, I love, I love that show. I love that. I love my car. I love it. But it would seem to me that a lot of people say that and don't really mean it in the way you're talking about. It's just a way of

Starting point is 00:11:05 showing that you enjoy that or you like that. But it seems like what you're talking about is maybe a higher level or is it not? No, it totally is. And that's absolutely right. So while I said that 70 some percent of people love at least one thing, almost everybody will use the word love metaphorically. I love your haircut. I love your car. And all that really means is, hey, nice haircut, nice new car. It's just a sort of a generic compliment. I think the reason people use the word love that way is because it does have this connection to excellence. So when you say I love something, it does sort of imply I think it's really good. And that's why people use the word love that way. However, to really love something, you start with that sense, I think it's really

Starting point is 00:11:58 good. And then it's got something more, something in addition that makes it a deeper kind of love. One concern might be for people who love things or inanimate objects or experiences that if they love these things it's at the expense of loving individuals, of interpersonal relationships. That can happen and I'm sure there are people who have that happen for whom that's a problem. However, overwhelmingly, the vast majority of times, the things that we love really connect us to other people much more than they substitute for other people. So people love sports, but when you talk to them and you really get into what they love about the sports, they love the way they sit with their friends and

Starting point is 00:12:50 watch the game together. And it becomes a way of connecting them. I love food and I love cooking, but why do I do that? Because I love the sense of community and friendship I get when I get together with my friends and family and we share a meal together. So it really is most of the time, we love activities and objects that connect us to other people. Can you love your work? Absolutely. I love my work. And I think a lot of people love their work. It's not always true for everyone by any means. And I think it has to do partly with, do you get a sense of meaning out of your job? Do you feel you're doing something that's worthwhile? And also the enjoyment that you

Starting point is 00:13:40 get at work, the actual process of your work. One of the things that both the activities and objects that people love have in common is we enjoy the process of performing the activity or we enjoy the process of working with and being with the object. If something is a goal, excuse me, if something is a means to another end, right, then you don't love it. So if you feel like, look, I do my job, it pays me well, I don't like the time I spend at work, but I like the money I get, then what you would say is, I really love the money, but I don't love my job, right?

Starting point is 00:14:22 In order for you to feel like you love your job, you have to actually enjoy the process of your job. We're talking about our love of physical objects, things, and activities. And my guest is Aaron Ahuvia, professor of marketing at the University of Michigan and author of the book, The Things We Love. Hi, I'm Jennifer, a co-founder of the Go Kid Go Network. At Go Kid Go, putting kids first is at the heart of every show that we produce. That's why we're so excited to introduce a brand new show to our network called The Search for the Silver Lightning, a fantasy adventure series about a spirited young girl named Isla

Starting point is 00:15:00 who time travels to the mythical land of Camelot. During her journey, Isla meets new friends, including King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table, and learns valuable life lessons with every quest, sword fight, and dragon ride. Positive and uplifting stories remind us all about the importance of kindness, friendship, honesty, and positivity. Join me and an all-star cast of actors, including Liam Neeson, Emily Blunt, Kristen Bell, Chris Hemsworth, among many others,

Starting point is 00:15:25 and welcoming the Search for the Silver Lining podcast to the Go Kid Go Network by listening today. Look for the Search for the Silver Lining on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Since I host a podcast, it's pretty common for me to be asked to recommend a podcast. And I tell people, if you like something you should know, you're going to like The Jordan Harbinger Show. Every episode is a conversation with a fascinating

Starting point is 00:15:50 guest. Of course, a lot of podcasts are conversations with guests, but Jordan does it better than most. Recently, he had a fascinating conversation with a British woman who was recruited and radicalized by ISIS and went to prison for three years. She now works to raise awareness on this issue. It's a great conversation. And he spoke with Dr. Sarah Hill about how taking birth control not only prevents pregnancy, it can influence a woman's partner preferences,

Starting point is 00:16:19 career choices, and overall behavior due to the hormonal changes it causes. Apple named The Jordan Harbinger Show one of the best podcasts a few years back, and in a nutshell, the show is aimed at making you a better, more informed critical thinker. Check out The Jordan Harbinger Show. There's so much for you in this podcast. The Jordan Harbinger Show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. So Aaron, don't you think there is a perception that people have?

Starting point is 00:16:51 It sounds like something your grandmother would tell you, that it's wrong to love things, that you need to love people, but loving things is not evil, but there's something wrong with it. Some of it is this idea that things are superficial and that you can only really love things that are more deeply meaningful. And that's true. I think at the deepest sense of the word love, but people find ways of connecting a lot of objects to things that are more meaningful in their life. So here's one example that I really like. So there's a woman that I interviewed. She is an extreme couponer. So her hobby is finding just the right coupons and using them in just the right way so that you get enormous

Starting point is 00:17:45 discounts on things. And she'll do this and she'll go in and she'll get a lot of times it's makeup products or face creams or hygiene products or diapers or things like this that you are able to get these amazing discounts on. So she'll go and for fun, she'll buy a bunch of these products, but then she herself doesn't really need them. She doesn't use or need that much makeup and she doesn't have kids who need diapers. So she makes up these care packages and she takes them to a homeless shelter and gives them to people who are in the homeless shelter who really need those products. And it's that last step that allows her to really feel that she loves this hobby of couponing because it takes it from something that is kind of materialistic and petty,

Starting point is 00:18:35 just kind of get a discount on a tube of toothpaste, and turns it into something that really feels deeply meaningful to her and connects to her sort of personal and spiritual values. Talk about hoarding and how that fits into this, because, you know, you see those shows on TV about hoarders and clearly these people seem to love their stuff because they don't get rid of it, but something's gone wrong. When that first started coming out, I really wanted to say that that kind of hoarding had nothing to do with the kind of love I was studying because for the most part, I think

Starting point is 00:19:18 the kind of love I'm looking at is pretty good. And that type of hoarding was clearly injuring the people who were involved in it and was not a good thing. But as I looked into the research on hoarding more, I found out that it is kind of the evil twin of love, that people do have a similar kind of deep sense of connection to the stuff that they're hoarding. And one thing that I find is remarkable is that people, when they love things, often they love things that are a little bit anthropomorphic. Not all the time, but it turns out that if your object looks a little bit like a person or sounds a little bit like a person, this enhances love because love is really in your brain designed for people.

Starting point is 00:20:07 And so when we love something that isn't a person, our brain is sort of taking something that was intended for humans and using it in this other way, applying it in this other way towards objects or activities. And if the object itself looks a little bit like a person, it's easier for your brain to do this. So when objects have this anthropomorphic quality, they look or sound like people, that can make it a little bit easier for people to love them. And to my surprise, when people hoard, they also feel like the things they're hoarding are sort of alive. Part of the reason they don't want to get that stack of molding newspapers and throw it away as they should is they feel like it'll hurt the feelings of the newspaper. So they know rationally this isn't true, but at an unconscious level or an emotional level, they still have this feeling like somehow they're going to like hurt the feelings of those newspapers if they get rid of them and get them out of their living room.

Starting point is 00:21:11 And that is a connection. That is a similarity to loving things. Well, that's not too unlike, you know, when you throw out your kid's teddy bear. And it's hard because you almost think, you know, this has been a companion of my child for many years. It's kind of like throwing away a family member, even though, you know, logically that's not the case. Absolutely.

Starting point is 00:21:36 Um, and those are the things that people love when you asked before, like, you know, what are the kinds of objects that they love? Um, people love, you know, that teddy bear, even if it was, you know, say you're the parent and it was your child's teddy bear, you feel the connection to your kid. And you also remember the role it played in your life. It's connected to your own identity as a parent because it reminds you of the time when your child was, you know, two or three years old and was very connected to that teddy bear. And so it has that sort of autobiographical function to connect to your identity in that way.

Starting point is 00:22:13 And that's something that all forms of love actually have in common, whether you're loving a romantic partner or loving a family member or loving a friend or loving an object. Everything we love, when we love, we're taking that thing and making it a part of our own sense of identity, becomes a part of who we are to a greater or lesser degree, but at least to some significant degree. And that, I think, is really the core of love generally. If you ask, what do all these different kinds of love have in common? There's a couple of things, but one of the main ones is they all connect us to our sense of identity or become part of our sense of identity. And that bears out also in neuroscience studies where they do scans of people's brains and the person is involved in different types of love relationships.

Starting point is 00:23:14 One of the things that all of those different types of love relationships have or show in the brain is that they activate the parts of the brain where a person is thinking about their own sense of identity and sense of who they are. So I have to get you to comment on the idea that what you're talking about some might see as materialism, that you're not supposed to love things, you're supposed to love people, and that if you love things, you're materialistic.

Starting point is 00:23:44 There's some very interesting research, a lot of it based on work that Marsha Richens has done, but also some that I've done with collaborators. If you love something, usually the storyline is that you got it, you might not have loved it the moment you got it, but you did things with it. You used it interesting ways. You worked on it. You improved it. You put your labor and creativity into it. And over time, it developed into something that you loved and became a really rich, rewarding part of your life. Materialism has the exact opposite trajectory. Materialists buy things hoping that the object itself, just its presence in their life, will change who they are. And materialists enjoy the things they are going to buy the most when

Starting point is 00:24:35 they're daydreaming about them before they ever buy them. And then the minute they buy them, they start liking them less and less and finding them less rewarding over time, as opposed to things we love that we tend to find more rewarding over time. So I hope I'm giving people a license to love physical objects, to say there is nothing wrong with the physical world. There's nothing wrong with something being an object that makes it bad. But I don't want to encourage people to be materialistic in the sense of thinking, oh, there's this object. If I only could afford it and buy it, it will change my life. Because it's not the object that changes your life. It's the way you use and work with and grow with the object that changes your life.

Starting point is 00:25:28 Well, it just occurred to me that what you're talking about is a great argument for trying new things. Because if we have the capacity to love things, there's probably things out there I would love that I just have never been introduced to, never crossed paths with. So if you try things, you may find a new love. One of the great things about the things and activities that we love is that we can use them to discover parts of ourselves that we didn't know existed. People try a new food and they're surprised that they like this. And they realized, huh, I never thought of myself as that kind of a person, but now I do. Now I've discovered something new about who I am. A number of years ago, I took up mountain biking and it's not something I had ever done in the past. Now I am obsessed with it and

Starting point is 00:26:25 madly in love with mountain biking. And because I tried this and it connected and I said, oh, I like that. I learned something about myself. It changed the way I think about myself. Now I've discovered something new about who I am. Well, what I really like about this, and you said it earlier in the conversation, that you're kind of giving us all permission to love things. That there's nothing wrong with it. There's no shame in it. It's part of who we are. It's part of who we are. If we love it, we love it. And why not enjoy it? I've been speaking with Aaron Ahuvia. He is a professor of marketing at the University of Michigan. And the name of his book is The Things We Love. And you'll find a link to that book at Amazon in the show notes. Thank you. Appreciate it, Aaron.

Starting point is 00:27:09 Thanks, Mike. It's really been a pleasure. Do you love Disney? Then you are going to love our hit podcast, Disney Countdown. I'm Megan, the Magical Millennial. And I'm the Dapper Danielle. On every episode of our fun and family-friendly show, we count down our top 10 lists of all things Disney. There is nothing we don't cover. We are famous for rabbit holes, Disney-themed games, and fun facts you didn't know you needed, but you definitely need in your life. So if you're looking for a healthy dose of Disney magic, check out Disney Countdown wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, join me, Megan Rinks. And me, Melissa Demonts for Don't Blame Me, But Am I Wrong? Each week, we deliver four fun-filled shows. In Don't Blame Me, we tackle

Starting point is 00:27:52 our listeners' dilemmas with hilariously honest advice. Then we have But Am I Wrong?, which is for the listeners that didn't take our advice. Plus, we share our hot takes on current events. Then tune in to see you next Tuesday for our Lister poll results from But Am I Wrong? And finally, wrap up your week with Fisting Friday, where we catch up and talk all things pop culture. Listen to Don't Blame Me, But Am I Wrong? on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Starting point is 00:28:31 One thing we can all be certain of is that one day we will all die. But what day, and from what? We hear about all the strange and unusual ways people meet their fate, but what is really likely to get you in the end? And what is amazingly unlikely to get you in the end. It's important because there are things you can do to protect yourself from many of the major causes of death, even if you can't always protect yourself from everything. So what are the odds of dying from what? Here to explain is Sheila Buff, who is a best-selling author.

Starting point is 00:29:04 Sheila, along with her husband Joe Buff, who is a best-selling author. Sheila, along with her husband Joe Buff, who is an expert on risk, have written a book called You Bet Your Life, Your Guide to Deadly Risk. Hi, Sheila. Welcome. Thank you. Nice to be here. So everyone knows there are certain risks in life, and there are likely things that could kill you. But I think also people have this sense of, you know, when your number's up, your number's up. Not necessarily. It's possible that your number is up. It's also possible that you're doing things that make your number come up a little quicker than it ought to. Say, for example, driving drunk.

Starting point is 00:29:38 Well, you know what's really interesting to me about this is when people think about what is likely going to kill them, we tend to worry about the wrong things. Meaning, for example, that how many people won't go in the ocean for fear of being attacked and killed by a shark, which is amazingly unlikely to happen. Yet certain chronic diseases, which are very likely to kill you, and we know how to prevent, those same people will not heed the advice to prevent that. Well, exactly. Half of all Americans will die of some form of heart disease. And there are many things you can do. You can't postpone it indefinitely, of course, but there are many things you can do to keep heart disease from getting you prematurely.

Starting point is 00:30:24 So your number might be up when you're 95 instead of when you're 65 if you take better care of yourself. For example, don't smoke, eat a healthy plant-forward Mediterranean-style diet, don't drink to excess, stay active, right? All very common sense things that can prevent premature death. I don't know how much the top causes of death change, but certainly recently with COVID, COVID was the thing people were very afraid of getting and dying from. And now it's really not that big of a threat, at least people still get it, but they don't die from it anywhere near as much. No, it's not the third leading cause of death as it was in 2020. In fact, in 2020,

Starting point is 00:31:14 it bumped suicide, which was the 10th leading cause of death off the top 10 list. I think suicide might come back next year. The thing I worry about personally is the increase in tick-borne illnesses. I live in the Hudson Valley where Lyme disease and other tick-borne illnesses are a problem. And there are some emerging ones that are really kind of scary. So a lot of people think about or worry about, and we hear about people dying in their own homes, slipping in the bathtub or a house fire. How likely is that? I would think that with smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors, the kinds of things we've done to prevent things like that,

Starting point is 00:31:55 that dying in your own home from some kind of bizarre accident is pretty rare. Well, it's not as rare as you would think. A fall in the home is a very common cause of death. And while it's true that death from fires is far less of a problem than it used to be, because we do have smoke detectors and fire alarms and carbon monoxide detectors and things like that, and houses, homes in general, are safer from fire. Things like pilot lights on stoves have been replaced by electronic ignition. So there are just, people don't use kerosene heaters or kerosene lamps. So the sources of fires are still with us.

Starting point is 00:32:33 A lot of fires are started by people using scented candles in the bathroom and making mistakes with their fireplaces. But death by fire in the home has really dropped. But every year in the U.S., there's almost 40,000 people who die from a slip or a trip or a fall in the home has really dropped. But every year in the U.S. there's almost 40,000 people who die from a slip or a trip or a fall in the home. 40,000 people? Yeah, a lot of them are from ladders, right? You get on a ladder, you don't, it's a little bit shaky, you climb up it to change the light bulb and before you know it you're on the ground with a concussion that kills you, right? But the most deadly room for falls is the living room. That's 31% of all the falls. The bedroom is the second dangerous,

Starting point is 00:33:12 30%. You wouldn't believe how many people die falling out of bed. What? It's possible. It's possible. You know, there you are, you're lying in bed, you drop something, you think, oh, it's kind of, you know, roll over and reach, and then you reach a little further, and before you know it, you have fallen out of bed and cracked your head, and you're dead, right? The kitchen is actually a little safer. That's about 19% of the deaths, and the bathroom is surprisingly safe. It's only 13% of the deaths. You hear a lot about people who, you know, fall in the bathtub and kill themselves that way, yet that's actually less likely than falling in your own living room. My sense is, just based on nothing, that the people who fall and die from falling in their

Starting point is 00:33:52 home, tripping, falling, would be mostly elderly people. Yes, that is an issue. And part of it is just that a lot of older people are just shaking on their feet. Sometimes they're taking medication that makes them dizzy. A lot of them have poor eyesight, and sometimes they haven't fall-proofed the house, which is something you should do regardless of your age, but throw rugs that you can trip on or electric cords that are in places where you can trip over them. That all needs to be rearranged, so that's not a trip hazard for anybody, but it's especially a trip hazard for older adults. Also, when you're older, you're more likely to break a bone and a fall where you hit your head is more likely to be fatal because your brain has shrunk a little bit and it sloshes

Starting point is 00:34:34 around in your head more when you fall. So talk about the car, because, you know, people who are afraid of flying are told, well, you know, it's more dangerous to ride in a car. The plane is actually safer. But cars are safer now. And so what are our chances and from what? Well, cars are so much safer now that it has caused a crisis in the transplant industry, as it were. Right. If you need a kidney transplant, there are far fewer people who have been killed in car crashes to provide a spare kidney for you. Cars are a lot safer. The airbag has made a huge difference. The roads are also safer. Road construction and design makes it safer for drivers. It actually makes it a little

Starting point is 00:35:17 more dangerous for pedestrians. But if you're a passenger or a driver in a car, the design of the road makes it far less likely that you will, say, go around a curve and go over a cliff. You're much more likely to hit a guardrail that will actually keep you from doing that as opposed to getting away and sending you tumbling. The people who do die from car crashes die because of, mostly I would bet, not wearing a seatbelt, drunk driving. Yes. All deaths in car crashes, about 50% are people who are not wearing seatbelts, which means that most of them could have been prevented. Yeah, the wearing of a seatbelt, I mean, that really is a big deal, right?

Starting point is 00:36:04 If you wear a lap and shoulder belt in the front seat, your risk of death in a crash is cut in half. 90% of all people riding in cars wear their seat belts. Okay. So the 10% of the people who didn't wear the seat belts were 46% of all traffic accident deaths. Okay. So 10% of the people riding in cars accounted for half of the deaths. You said a minute ago that road construction has made it more dangerous for pedestrians. Can you explain that? Yes. It actually makes the traffic run more smoothly so that traffic moves more quickly.

Starting point is 00:36:40 People are driving faster. And it makes it, because road designers want the traffic to move quickly and smoothly, they tend to shorten up the crossing time at crosswalks. And what you get are people who enter the crosswalk a little too late, thinking that they can make it across and not realizing that they can't. When you look at the statistics and the way people die, what is it you find the most peculiar or the most interesting? You know, the thing that struck us the most while we were working on this book were the way there are vast disparities in death rates for a lot of different things. When you look at heart disease, for example, you can see vast geographic differences. Okay, in the state of Oklahoma, which is the worst state for deaths from heart disease, you have 228.5 deaths per 100,000 population. And that's a way, by looking at the rate per 100,000 population, that's a way to

Starting point is 00:37:42 compare states with very different population sizes to each other. So the worst state for heart disease is Oklahoma. And the best state for death from heart disease, in other words, the state that has the fewest deaths per 100,000 population per year is Minnesota, which has 116.7 deaths per 100,000 population. So in other words, you're twice as likely to die of a heart attack if you live in Oklahoma as if you live in Minnesota. And why do we think that is? That's a really good question. It's possible when you get down to it and you start comparing things like smoking rates and exercise rates and diet and everything else, that you could see some distinct differences. There's also more subtle differences. How much

Starting point is 00:38:34 stress are people under, right? And you can't really predict that. So we know that heart disease is a big killer, but the thing I think people often worry about or talk about anyway is cancer. Cancer, anytime you hear that word, it's just horrible. So what's the deal with that? Well, cancer is the second leading cause of death in the United States. The most common cause of cancer death is lung cancer. It's about 22.4% of all cancer deaths. And that's followed by colon cancer, which is far less.

Starting point is 00:39:13 It's about 8.8%. And then the third most common cause would be breast cancer, right? And then that would be followed by prostate cancer. Are there any things that, you know, maybe 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, people were dying of that has kind of been fixed? Yes. Well, if you look at, say, what people died of in 1900, the top cause of death was influenza or pneumonia,

Starting point is 00:39:41 and the second cause of death was tuberculosis, and that was followed by gastrointestinal infections. And heart disease was almost a distant fourth. And by 1950, heart disease was already the leading cause of death. And it's remained that way ever since. And is the assumption that that's diet-related? Well, in part, it's because we're so much better at treating infectious disease, right? And tuberculosis is almost, as a cause of death in the U.S., is very uncommon. And when it does occur, it usually is within someone who came to the U.S. with it. They didn't get it here, right? But in 1900, it was a very common cause of death. It was the second leading cause of death.

Starting point is 00:40:21 And even in 1920, it was the third leading cause of death, right? And by 1950, it was the seventh leading cause of death. And then by the 1960s, when the antibiotic streptomycin had been developed, it had really stopped being a leading cause of death at all. I imagine there are some things people die of, due in large part to the fact that people are living longer, that people didn't die of it before because you've got to get pretty old to die from it. Well, yes, and cancer is a very good example of that. Because cancer, the vast majority of people with cancer are over age 60. And most people who die of it are over 70.

Starting point is 00:41:02 I remember hearing someone say, maybe not quoting this correctly, but the longer you live, the more likely that you'll live longer? Yes, that's an interesting actuarial statistic. If you are still alive at 100, the chances that you're going to make it to 101 are actually pretty good. Somewhere that has to fall apart.

Starting point is 00:41:24 Well, yeah, at some point, right? It's looking like 115 is about the absolute outer limit for life expectancy, right? And the actual life expectancy for, well, it depends on who you are, if you're a man or a woman, but actual life expectancy for a woman right now would be about 83. So the chances are that by the time you're, if you haven't died of something else by the time you're 80, you're going to get cancer and die from that. But does that theory kick in any earlier?

Starting point is 00:41:57 Like if you live to be 40, you're going to live? Oh, what your life expectancy would be at 41? It's very hard to predict that because it's your individual risk, right? If you're 40 and you smoke and you drive while you're drinking and you're fond of the expression, here, hold my beer, right, the chances that you will achieve the full life expectancy of, well, the average life expectancy in 2020 was 78.8 years. That's male and female, right? But that you would make it to be, say, 76 if you lead a reckless lifestyle is unlikely. But it can also happen. I mean, we all know people who, you know,

Starting point is 00:42:39 smoke two packs a day and made it to 90. Well, I think we all understand that a lot of how long you live is probability and chance and luck, but what are some of the other things that affect statistically how long you live? In addition to your own behavior, it depends a lot on things like your profession and where you live and what you do for fun. You know, some recreational activities are a lot riskier than others. As you've pointed out, people die from a whole lot of different things. But of the things that kill people suddenly, in other words, we all know we should stop smoking and do all those health things. But of the things that kill people quickly and that people have some control over, what are the ones that you think people maybe need to pay more attention to that they don't?

Starting point is 00:43:36 That's a good question. Infectious disease worries me a lot. And then accidental death is also a big concern because there are so many ways, you know, so many different ways you can kill yourself by mistake. Like even doing home repairs, forgetting to turn off the power to an appliance while you're working on it, for example, which is surprisingly common. Wait, what? Yeah. Do-it-yourself home repair is really dangerous sometimes. There's all the risks associated with power tools.

Starting point is 00:44:10 There's all the risks associated with climbing up on ladders. A good example would be you decide to get rid of that wasp nest that's over the garage door, and you get up there on a rickety ladder, and you spray, and you provoke a wasp attack that knocks you off the ladder and also gives you anaphylactic shock, right? Stuff like that does happen. If it can happen, it will happen. One thing you hear about is, like in the summertime, you know, drink a lot of water,

Starting point is 00:44:39 you don't want to get dehydrated, heat stroke. How common is it for people to actually perish from this earth from some heat-related thing or dehydration? Heat stroke itself is not that uncommon, but actually dying from it doesn't happen that often. In 2019, there were 505 heat-related deaths, and that would include both heat stroke and also, unfortunately, children who were left in hot cars. But that's not a lot of people. No, it isn't really. And it's actually, if you compare it to the number of people who died of hypothermia, it's only half. On average, every year, about 1,300 people die of hypothermia. Being too cold.

Starting point is 00:45:26 Yeah, being far too cold. So do you ever leave the house? Yes, carefully. I would imagine. You're probably very careful. Yes, well, you know, the most common sense precautions, like just wearing your seatbelt. I mean, that's a very common sense sort of thing to do, and 90% of Americans do it. And then there's that 10% of people who don't. And you really have to wonder why. I often wonder how, because cars today make it very difficult for you not to wear your seatbelt.

Starting point is 00:45:54 Yeah, boy, they get noisy. One of the stranger things is you've been wearing your seatbelt for most of the trip, but a lot of people will sort of release the belt as they're on kind of the final glide path home. They're on their street and they take off the seatbelt before they turn into the driveway. And you're somewhat more likely to have an accident at that point than you are when you're driving on the highway, because at this point you're not paying as much attention. This is the time when you could maybe get blindsided by another car or, you know, drive into a tree by mistake, something like that. And because you thought you

Starting point is 00:46:30 were home free, you've had your seatbelt off. So wear it all the time. In fact, if you're in the car at all, you should be wearing your seatbelt, even if the car is stopped, like parked. Really? I would never think to do that. Yeah. Well, a lot of minor accidents. I mean, they're not real. They're not usually fatal, although of course it does happen. A lot of accidents take place in parking lots. And you could be in your car sitting there, parked, getting ready to exit or go to the grocery store or something, and someone can pull you out opposite. You could back right into you, which has definitely been known to happen. And you would

Starting point is 00:47:04 want to be wearing your seatbelt at that point just to avoid injury. Well, even though it's not particularly fun to contemplate your own demise, it is interesting to hear the different ways people do die, and more importantly, what you can do to prevent dying those ways. My guest has been Sheila Buff. The name of her book is You Bet Your Life, Your Guide to Deadly Risk. And you'll find a link to that book at Amazon in the show notes. Thank you, Sheila.

Starting point is 00:47:30 Well, it was a pleasure. Stay safe. You know, there's an old, old Frank Sinatra song, the lyrics of which go, love is lovelier the second time around. Which may be true, but people looking for love the second or third time around often report that it's difficult to find. Psychologist Terry Orbach followed the same 746 divorced people for 25 years, and 71% of them have found the new love of their life. How?

Starting point is 00:48:09 Well, one prerequisite seems to be let go of the past. Those who said they no longer had strong feelings toward their ex, good or bad, were more likely to find someone new. And how did they find someone new? Well, it was mostly one of three ways. Online dating, joining a group that met regularly, or getting fixed up by a family member or friend. And that is something you should know. If you would take a moment and share this podcast with someone you know, you'd be doing me a great favor. And I think you'd be doing your friend a favor, too.

Starting point is 00:48:42 I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know. Welcome to the small town of Chinook, where faith runs deep and secrets run deeper. In this new thriller, religion and crime collide when a gruesome murder rocks the isolated Montana community. Everyone is quick to point their fingers at a drug-addicted teenager, but local deputy Ruth Vogel isn't convinced. She suspects connections to a powerful religious group. Enter federal agent V.B. Loro, who has been investigating a local church

Starting point is 00:49:13 for possible criminal activity. The pair form an unlikely partnership to catch the killer, unearthing secrets that leave Ruth torn between her duty to the law, her religious convictions, and her very own family. But something more sinister than murder is afoot, and someone is watching Ruth.

Starting point is 00:49:30 Chinook, starring Kelly Marie Tran and Sanaa Lathan. Listen to Chinook wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Rob Benedict. And I am Richard Spate. We were both on a little show you might know called Supernatural. It had a pretty good run, 15 seasons, 327 episodes. And though we have seen, of course, every episode many times, we figured, hey, now that we're wrapped, let's watch it all again.

Starting point is 00:50:00 And we can't do that alone. So we're inviting the cast and crew that made the show along for the ride. We've got writers, producers, composers, directors, and we'll of course have some actors on as well, including some certain guys that played some certain pretty iconic brothers. It was kind of a little bit of a left field choice in the best way possible. The note from Kripke was, he's great, we love him, but we're looking for like a really intelligent Duchovny type.

Starting point is 00:50:28 With 15 seasons to explore, it's going to be the road trip of several lifetimes. So please join us and subscribe to Supernatural then and now.

Something You Should Know - What Happens When You Love Things Instead of People & What Will Likely Kill You

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