Son of a Boy Dad - A Couple of Beardless Bros - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 90 feat. Tommy Smokes

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

Tommy is back on the show this week to talk Thanksgiving, his inability to grow a beard without the help of Sas' filters, and how he likes Bateman one way and one way only. A bunch of other funny stuff happens in between as well, but this ep is a whole lot of riffing. Guys being dudes like you read about. Ads: Gametime Download the Gametime app and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Shady Rays Get up to 60% off sitewide at https://barstool.link/shadyraysBSS SoCo Learn more at https://barstool.link/SouthernComfortBSS Rhoback Go to https://barstool.link/RhobackBSS and use the code “SON” for 20% off your first purchase!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. What's up, guys? Welcome to the show. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Yeah. How are you guys doing? Pretty good. Long time since we last talked. I know, and it's good to be back. Thanksgiving this week, and let's start off with one of the old favorites. Are cranberries a stuffing? Holy shit.

Guys, is stuffing overrated? What's your favorite sides? I legitimately answered that question for a Snapchat. Oh, yeah. Did you? It's not surprising. Not surprising at all. It's the season.

It's every year. We just run it back. Yeah. Is turkey actually good? Is the stuff better than turkey? And then they just wait for one person to be like, actually, turkey sucks. And then all the comments are like, what? What?

I got a bad. Meanwhile, the person goes home for Thanksgiving and eats like a pound of turkey. For days straight. But the way they do it at barstool is sick. They'll like come over to your desk and like send you a letter like a mother whose kid just got killed during World War, like World War II. And they're like, it's your year that you have to say turkey sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

You're the one this time around. My entire reputation. Or they'll be like, try and make it funny, too. Just on the spot. Turkey's not good. And they're like, that's all you're going to say? Do you have any jokes about tryptophan? Yeah.

That being said, though, if a big-ass porterhouse had existed when the pilgrims and the Native Americans linked up, Thanksgiving would be way better. I mean, they had cows back then. But they didn't have a fucking big ass porterhouse, T-bone, fucking flank steak, fucking fat ass center cut. They didn't have catch steak back then. They probably did.

They probably were just using the steaks. They weren't killing the steaks. They weren't killing the cows. They were probably using them for milk. You like turkey better than steak? Yeah. No. Exactly.

No one does. So that's why, like, if it's your meal of the year, your biggest celebratory meal of the year, turkey and ham probably aren't the go-to meats. Those are like old good meats. Ham sucks. Well, I think there's also probably, if we want to do some cost analysis, like if you're usually feeding a bunch of people at Thanksgiving, if you're getting a bunch of steak, a bunch of porterhouses, it's crazy expensive. But it's the one day of the year that you're really getting everybody together. It's like supposed to be the main feast. I mean, think about like a 32-ounce steak, at least you're spending 50, 60 bucks or something.

But it's your main, I mean, yeah, I guess this is classist of me. Yeah. A butterball turkey is, I mean, most people get them when they're camping on the back of the truck. If you can't afford to feed your entire family porterhouses, you shouldn't be celebrating any holidays. You should be out there working. Dial back.

You should be one of the ten people working at McDonald's on Thanksgiving. Busting your ass to work for a porterhouse maybe next year. If you can steal yourself a couple fries, that can be your thanksgiving feast have your own little thanksgiving in the mcdonald's all the poor people get to go have a mcchicken for thanksgiving dinner a fucking apple pie at least i got an apple pie i got an apple pie that's the one item that they have i love this fucking country you can get your whole

thanksgiving at donnie's fucking steakhouse. God, is that sweet. I love how I was shitting on people for being like, turkey sucks. And then I passionately was like, ham sucks. Everybody noticed it. Yeah. It is hard to not get into the debate once you start talking about it. They got me on Halloween. I was like, Reese's Cups rule.

Reese's Cups rule. Dude, they know what they're doing. Because it's just enough time. I don't know how they lined it up that every 12 months is when Halloween comes around and every 12 months is when Thanksgiving comes around. It's like crazy that like that's the perfect

amount of time for you to forget all your good ass takes. I feel like this would be pretty easy to do, but do you think you could make these holidays like say, what if you maybe I'll try it this year. Maybe I won't eat turkey for an entire year until thanksgiving fasting do you eat a lot of turkey i eat a good amount i eat a lot of turkey sandwiches so that's not even the same thing a lot of turkey sandwiches different that's so different processed turkey like lunch with 10 000 grams of sodium in it yeah that's here's a problem i'm going through in my

life i have a friend's giving on saturday where she's gonna serve turkey and then i'm gonna have regular turkey like with my family on thursday i feel like friends giving you go more uh well she's not well i don't know i guess i've actually never i never participated in one so i wouldn't we know uh it shows yeah but it's like you know it's gonna who's having my my friend do i know her it's nick and kb dude oh yeah nick and kb you know erica yeah yeah it's erica erica and dave are having erica's oh erica's annual yeah that ea ea t erica's annual friendsgiving oh yeah yeah forget it fuck fuck i was thinking thanksgiving damn it but it's at a firehouse and it's going to be elite. It is not at a firehouse

but it is with Brian from our fantasy football chat. Oh really? And Nick and Rob who are a few of our compadres will be there. Wow. So am I invited then?

Am I actually? Probably not but I'll try to work my magic. Is it next weekend? I hate mixing groups. It's this Saturday. Oh you'll be in LA. Oh you'll be at your in-laws. Shit. happens what happens on friendsgiving it's my first one too

what do you do i've always felt like it seems like so much work yeah it definitely she sent a ridiculous menu of things and i was like are you is everyone bringing aside i said can i bring anything please say no that is that is the text that I sent. I'm going to bring me. You just never turn it off. Yeah. I'm always on. I'm always on.

He is, dude. You should see this group chat. Their whole group is always on, dude. Just turn it off for once. His whole group of friends is always like, oh, man. Just sending like kissy face emojis and being like, go get it today, you handsome hunks or something. It's just fucking. Yeah, we don't turn it off.

They really don't turn it off. One year at a Friendsgiving, though, I brought, like, people take it dead seriously. And I feel like you can't fuck around if you're bringing a side. Because I brought, like, maybe $50 worth of KFC mashed potatoes. And I thought it would be, like, funny and also fun. People might enjoy it. And the girls that were throwing it were fucking pissed. They were fucking furious that I would deign to bring some Kfc mashed potatoes are great i thought they were pretty good too

most mashed potatoes are good it's pretty hard to fuck up mashed potatoes it's the hardest thing to fuck up but at the same time i was like oh isn't this mashed potatoes and add salt to them yeah it's the and butter and a ton of fucking butter whip the fuck out of them with some butter but the ladies don't like that dude you got to take it serious but there's an episode of louis where he does that where he he has to make food and he goes and he just buys kfc and he wraps it up in tinfoil and brings it and everyone's like these are fucking amazing that's genius it really is genius maybe i should have just put it in a different container you should have also four other people brought mashed potatoes it was like we were 23 years old no one could bring anything to the table except for mashed potatoes i mean that's on her

for not giving specific you bring this you bring that everybody bring aside yeah do you feel like this bitch knows how to cook a turkey i don't know i don't know it's hard yeah cooking a turkey's hard that's for that's a man's job i've seen the men in my family struggle cooking turkey i mean oh it might actually be a women's job actually well man no it's the man car job. I've seen the men in my family struggle cooking turkey. Oh, it might actually be a women's job, actually. Well, a man carves. No, it's a man's job. The man carves, for sure. But if you have like a little green egg or whatever.

The man of the house. My dad takes his carving very seriously every year. But I feel like the woman would get up at 4 a.m. and fucking be in the kitchen apron. They make the stuffing. Or my dad makes the stuffing, too. Usually they make the sweet potatoes or some shit. The beets. That's what the women make.

All the gay shit. My uncle's a big couch guy. Always on the couch. Not really a social guy. Yeah. Thanksgiving, he turns it on. He's in the kitchen the whole day just going at the turkey. Grubbing.

Checking on it every five seconds. Now he cooks it and carves it. That's how you let the heat out. And he doesn't let other people carve it. He has to carve i love my favorite thanksgiving tradition is on twitter people in a competition of who has the most racist family like they're all just tweeting out oh yeah my uncle said then they think it's like the funniest thing that their uncle might have a little generational racism in them or like people who are like it's your responsibility to talk to your like take thanksgiving as a time to talk to your family about their racism.

No, that's when I let it rip. Yeah. It's like, oh, I can get my real takes off. Yeah. You don't get the N word pass in the hood. You get it at your Thanksgiving table with your racist uncle around. Just let it fucking fly. I don't have to pretend it's a rap lyric.

So you listen to Dave on the Pet Bev podcast? That's what you're saying? Anyway, Sass, what else does your uncle do, bro? Nah, nothing. We don't really talk much. Not too close. Yeah. Fuck, dude.

But I am excited for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. It's probably my favorite holiday. That or Fourth of July. I think I'd agree. Why? Because you're just, are you in one place the entire time? Or do you have to go to multiple?

No. Yeah, you're estranged from half your family. I forgot. I'm just in one place. No, my mom's side of my family, we all live like right next to each other. And so they all come by you? So we all just post. Yeah, the worst part is like a long ass drive or to like have to herd everybody.

I used to have to go to Illinois for Thanksgiving. That's bad. Yeah. It was fun, though, because I was really young, and I went to visit my cousins, who I never got to see. Would you drive there? No, we'd fly. We drove a few times. My grandparents used to drive every time.

That's terrible. Because they had dogs. It's not a poor McDonald's family. Parents like to just, like, especially with something related to the Midwest, they love to fucking drive. My parents used to drive me to Chicago too. And I don't think

it was a poor thing. I think like taking kids to the airport is hell. I think having kids on a plane is probably hell. Yeah. And don't you hear people getting their tanks off

being like, kids shouldn't even be allowed on planes. They shouldn't. Maybe those parents just agree with that and they're like, yeah, I'm going to take one

for the team. I'm not. Parents get very, we did a dog walk, I did a dog walk snake draft last week about like annoying sounds and we talked about uh you know toddlers on or a baby crying i was kidding i was like it's the baby's fault like the baby needs to control himself or whatever and people in the comments were like tommy has no fucking idea what it's like he'll never touch a woman he'll never have a child and carl was like yeah like i said something similar one time and parents do not like being told their kids are noisy on planes damn yeah i guess they're trying their best and dude what do they try harder

that's when you sprinkle a little there's an old old uh old trick where you sprinkle a little rum into their milk yeah you sprinkle it to quiet get them to quiet down. You rub it on their clothes. Yeah, just a little drop of rum. Yeah, or if you're a breastfeeding mother, you drink enough of it to get the breast milk going a little bit. Yeah. Some shit like that. But Tommy, you know women are going to touch you

when they see that fucking beard, bro. It's coming in pretty good, huh? Yeah, it is. You need to get one of those rollers. You shaved there, though. No, I did not. You shaved the top of your cheek yes you did i did not i did not shave anywhere i was thinking myself the other day i was like man it would it would look a lot better if i just shaved all these stray hairs on my cheek i was like i can't and then i thought well i don't know why i say that i can't this is a made-up thing that i do myself but i feel out

of principle that i can't shave any of it. Why don't you get one of those rollers? A derma roller? Yeah, derma roller. Yeah, my roommate just got one of those. Those are supposed to be really bad for your skin. They know they have like a thousand needles in them. Yeah. I'm not fucking with that.

And you also probably need a real beard to use that. They make you grow a beard though? I think it just makes your beard thicker. I don't think you can go from being like where Tommy's at to using it once and just having a full beard you never know dude our little boy ass faces on this show yeah everybody's shit is terrible it's not gonna get much more full than this dude even with the derma roller wow mine fills up shut the fuck up i shaved like yesterday so holy fuck dude you're basically a fuck i mean i'm my my beard is longer than tommy's i shaved yesterday yes it is that's not true yes it is

no it's so tommy my my my beard is literally longer than yours way longer that's not true yours just looks like more shaved if we if we cut all the hair off our faces right now, the weight of my hair would be bigger. Way more than I have. No, the weight of my hair would be bigger. I have way more facial hair than you. Mine's more pronounced. You're also five years older than me. Mine's more prominent.

It's like all right here. It's like a black spot. Tell me, I can't even see it from here. Well, that's because of the mind. And you can see mine. You were describing mine. You said mine seems more shaved. It's a thick black thick

black on the chin and when was the last time you shaved two weeks ago weeks ago i shaved yesterday i'm not denying that you can grow facial hair faster than me i'm saying i think that's exactly what you were i'm not i'm saying that's not exactly what he was denying at this present moment i think there's more hair on my face than you have on your face. If you waited three weeks, you'd undeniably have more. Let's talk about GameTime. GameTime is an exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

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purchase. Turn supply. Download GameTime. Last time last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed guaranteed game time i just wish your facial hair looked like the photoshop that you do sass that i wish it did so bad nothing there's few things in the world that i wish more than that i know that you just stare at your phone like looking at photoshop pictures of yourself all the time because you post them like once a week yeah every time people hit me up and they're like dude where did this come from they're like they're like when did you grow this beard i'm like i'm on a live show every day

it's like what do you think like after two o'clock it just it just spawned in shadow yeah it's so funny and you post it's like there's like five different ones there's like the handsome face guy the fucking full beard like stubble guy the full long beard guy like and you're just posting all of them back to back to back yeah i love I love it. It's funny as hell. I don't like posting those because it's just a better looking version of you. Yeah. But then people are like, ugh. So this is what he looks like. That's what he could look like.

I'd rather post a bad looking picture of myself. No, I think that you got to make one for Tommy. Yeah. Can you make one for him? Yeah. But then you're a disappointment compared to that picture. Not really. If I post a picture looking super fat or something, it's like, oh,

he could look like that. Can you do a picture? Can you do one right now? It's like the ugly friend surrounding herself with even uglier friends. What if they're still disappointed? Well, can I move this way a little bit so I can get you in? I'm so excited for this already.'s dude it's not

going to be hard it's you know it's just a filter yeah i know but i'm just saying i want i want to see tommy's face what do you want me to give him you know mess around with a couple things i just want to see him have him see this too so you can see what you're scared of and that's the better looking version of you exactly i know i can't have that getting out i want that out there dude i know it might be worse it is anything i anything anytime i modify anything about myself i look worse a hat you're the best version of yourself at all times tommy you look weirdly like just jesus really let me see. You look like Paul Dano. Can I see the Jesus one?

Oh my God, I look like Jesus. Well, no, in this one you look way more like Jesus. I look exactly like Jesus. But would that not have the filter for everyone? No, that's not what mine looks like. Shut up. That could be you, bro. You could have died for our sins i i've said i i used to be convinced

i was the second coming of jesus so i think that kind of confirmed what do you mean at what point it's just a different times it's like i'm not i could be the jury's not out that i'm definitely yes it is i mean jesus started you know he started miracles at like 30 but jesus didn't sin, though. I don't sin. He spent his whole life and didn't sin once. We don't know that. Yes, we do. I don't sin either.

That's like his main thing. Where is that? Well, that's written down somewhere. That's his main thing, that he didn't sin. He says he didn't sin. No, he didn't sin. Well, he definitely didn't lie. So if he said he didn't sin, then he didn't sin.

He definitely sinned, Tom. Jesus? I agree. Yeah. He's the one with the little Catholic boy over here. Yeah, Jesus never sinned. Jesus. Jesus? I agree. Yeah. He's the one that's a little Catholic boy over here. Yeah, Jesus. Jesus never sinned. Jesus never told a lie.

Wait, so you're saying that God sinned? Yeah. I think God is a way more chill dude than people make him out to be. But that doesn't mean he's sinning, bro. I think he's live and let live. You think God's out here sinning? Yeah. I mean, I think the modern definition of sinning, yeah.

Wait, do you want to do another one with Tommy? Yeah, do another one. I love how much sad fun this is. It makes it so much funnier. Well, I got to find the, oh, here we go. Oh, shit. They added new presets. What app is this?

I will be getting this app. They added a bunch of new presets. A hot guy app. I don't really fuck with the You added a bunch of new presets. I don't really fuck with the presets, though, because they're... Here, Tommy, we'll give you Handsome Fatal. Handsome Fatal? Oh, nice. Yeah! Wow!

Holy shit! You know that's what you look like, bro. Don't you wish, dude? Oh, how much money would you pay to look like that version of yourself? That looks like Buzz Lightyear. He doesn't even look real. That's how hot I am. It's good to know the potential's there.

No, you got to be medium ugly. That's true. My personality would not play well if I was good looking. You'd be the biggest asshole alive. Yeah. Your cockiness only works. I look like Justin Bieber there. I legit look like Justin.

Is that a Justin Bieber filter? You don't look like Justin Bieber. That filter is called star. You look more like James Franco there. That's just a regular camera feature on my phone. But don't people say you look like Dave Franco? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of could see that.

Really? No. Dave. One time in college for Halloween, I didn't dress up at all. And I told people I was Dave Franco. What'd they say? Some girl was like, I don't see it at all. What did she think?

She thought it was a bad costume? She was like, I don't get it. You don't look like Dave Franco. Maybe you picked the wrong clothes. Yeah, that was probably it. You probably had to wear like a t-shirt over a long-sleeved shirt. Maybe I wore a brown long-sleeved shirt. Maybe you weren't sexually assaulting enough girls.

That's James Franco. Wrong Franco. Wrong Franco. I was about to say, where the hell are you going with that? Yeah, you were sexually assaulting the exact right amount of girls three three is the perfect number Dave Franco is a good man

you look nothing like Dave Franco it's plausible that people could say I look like Dave Franco that was my whole thing is that I don't think I look like Dave Franco but I think that if I tell someone else oh yeah people have't think I look like Dave Franco, but I think that if I tell someone else, oh yeah, people have told me I look like Dave Franco. You could incept them? I can incept them.

Maybe similar hair? Yeah. Similar brown hair? Yeah. Same nose, I think. No, his has got to be a better nose. Did you guys see the guy with the eight inch nose? Yeah.

He's been going around Twitter. Yeah. No. Looks like a penis. He has Squidward's nose. Kind of has a Squid the eight inch nose. Yeah. He's been going around Twitter. Yeah. No. Looks like a penis. He has squid, squid bird's nose. Kind of has a squid birdy nose. I sort of think that girls like big noses though.

I don't think like that. Not like that. This nose like goes down to like here. Dude, and all dudes have big noses. Yeah. If a dude has a normal size nose, that's tiny.

I don't know one dude that's got a tiny ass, little cute ass nose. Who can you think of? KB is a pretty small nose. Tyler maybe has a cute dude that's got a tiny ass little cute ass nose who can you think of kb is a pretty tyler maybe has a cute nose no dude you think you got a beak you think you're beaked up everyone's beaked up yeah everyone is dude all males are beaked up dude it's a it's a blessing you have to be yeah that's how you know you're a man to To be able to smell fear. All other men. Yeah. That's how you know. I heard trans people are getting rhinoplasty out the ass.

They're getting what? Women are getting beaked up to be men. Holy shit, really? Yeah, I've been hearing that. Nose jobs, but it's just a nose extension. It's probably been done many times. It definitely has. People have little tiny ass fucking nub ass noses.

You got a little backbone to the nose. You know what I mean, Tommy? I feel you. You know what the fuck I'm saying? Yeah. Tommy, you watch any good movies lately? So, it's funny you say that. I was planning, and I still will watch a movie tonight.

I just don't know what to watch. Any good suggestions? Yeah, watch The Good Nurse. Let me write that down. I have a to watch folder on my phone. But what does that mean? So you're not going to watch it? You might watch it like a year from now?

I mean, I'm going to put it down. Damn, look how long that list is. Yeah, exactly. Because I've recommended movies to him before and he's done the same thing. No, you haven't. Yes, I have. It's to watch and then there's watched. I have to watch and then I have watched. There's no point in making a watched list.

I tried to do that. You've seen way more movies than you think you've seen. Well, I've been doing it every day since the start of COVID. Not every day, but every time I watch a movie. You put it on the watched list? Put it on the watched list. You want to hear the movies I started at the, I watched at the beginning of COVID? Yeah.

First movie I ever watched that started COVID, The Adjustment Bureau. Why are you acting like the beginning of COVID was like the first day of your life? Well, it's just like that was like, that was the thing. It's like, oh, we're all going to stay inside and watch movies and shit. Like, I just knew I was going to be entering a period of my life where I watched a lot of movies. So I put down a list of it. I feel like that time you knew that like your life had to launch into fucking action at that time. COVID was the best thing that ever happened to you.

You started keeping your diary. No, that was about a year after COVID. Oh, COVID was still going on then. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, my life log, that started May of 2021. Oh, your list. It's not a diary, it's a life log. You got significantly more wealthy over that period.

About two years after COVID, yeah. Yeah, still though. You're wealthier now? I'm wealthier than I was two years ago. Big raise? Just winning competitions. Oh shit, I forgot you won like 10 competitions. And a big raise.

Big raise? Oh yeah. 10 competitions at about 4% of that money. I like to keep my finances, you know, personal. You shouldn't, dude. People on this show like when we talk about our finances. They love it. That's what this show is mainly about. hear a struggle it's about barcel finance yeah

i'm not even getting a bonus this year i just read over my contract with tommy because we were doing our like daily money talk and uh i went through my contract and i realized i'm not getting no bonus this year i've never gotten one yeah we're fucked really this show gets fucked dude we don't get any we don't get no bonuses bonuses. We have to pay for advertisers on this show. I mean, I hope I get a bonus. No, you're not. I usually do.

I talked to Erica. She said, Tommy's not getting a bonus this year. Damn. Tommy's been bleeding too many resources from the company. She said he got his bonus

when he won all those competitions. Yeah. I got another movie for you to watch. The Triangle of Sadness. That's the vibe. Right? It's a bad title. It's a bad movie.

It sounds like a shitty movie. He recommended me that and I was like, I'm not watching that. That was a whole week ago. The Good Nurse is good. The Good Nurse is about Charlie Cullen, the serial killer. Nurse. You shouldn't have told him that, dude. You shouldn't have said that.

It's really good. Jessica Chastain's in it. You shouldn't have said that. Tommy loves Chastain. And it's top tier Chastain. A lot of cleave? No. Not a lot of cleave?

She's a nurse. She's a hardworking nurse. So imagine tired. Yeah, but she goes home. Oh, no, no. Get out of my nurse outfit and show my cleavage to the camera. It's blue collar. It's blue collar Chastain, which is the best Chastain. But there home. It's blue. No, no. Get out of my nurse outfit and show my cleavage to the camera. It's blue collar. It's blue collar chastain,

which is the best chastain. But there's no cleavage. Not a stitch. I think Molly's game chastain is the best chastain. Cerebral chastain? I don't care. I don't care about that.

It's just the dress that she's wearing in it. Oh, yeah. Russian poker lady chastain? Yeah. No. It's definitely the good nurse. All right.

It's on the list. Just imagine her scooping the diarrhea out of your ass when you're 700 pounds. Yeah, exactly, it's definitely The Good Nurse. All right. It's on the list. Just imagine her scooping the diarrhea out of your ass. Yeah, exactly. There's diarrhea getting scooped out of ass. No, there's not. No, there isn't. I'll say this. The Triangle of Sadness has the funniest live action movie scene that I've laughed at in theaters since Team America.

Yeah, kind of. Oh, what? Tommy, take that off the list. No, it stays on the list. Why? I don't watch any movies from the 1990s. It's in theaters right now. Oh, how would I see it?

I don't know. Go to a theater. It's a lot of good movies from the 1990s. I would scratch that rule. I'd see like the 1950s. No, it's something else. The 90s has some good movies. The cinematography in the 90s was

just subpar. I don't like the way they set it up. In the whole fucking decade, the cinematography was subpar? I've seen some of them. What about The Lion King? That's a different cartoon. I'm just talking about the 1990s. Alright, that was a good one. But still, the way it's

shot. Goodfellas, the 80s or the 90s? I think the 80s. No, 90s. Really? I don't like the way it looks. Or Casino, at least, is 90s. The way it looks on the screen just looks too blurry. Like, how are you going to make someone go through a whole decade and say all the fucking movies were bad?

Alright, let's see. I didn't say they're bad. So, two of these movies are... So, I'm looking at... Wow. Tommy, these are... So two of these movies are, so I'm looking at, wow. Tommy, these are, the 90s list, the best movies from the 90s, I bet is shockingly similar to if you look up the best movies of all time. What do we got?

I'm going to read you some. Pulp Fiction, Goodfellas, Jurassic Park, Toy Story, Silence of the Lambs. Jurassic Park came out that year. Jurassic Park Toy Story Silence of the Lambs came out that year Silence of the Lambs Forest Gump

Fight Club Shawshank Redemption Fargo Schindler's List Titanic Big Lebowski Good Will Hunting Seven

Sixth Sense Saving Private Ryan The Truman Show Boys in the Hood I mean Tom Alright Alright Alright

What happened in the 2000s Wait wait wait Tom started liking movies when Spy Kids came out. I was wrong. There. I like a lot of those movies, but I don't like average 90s movies. Like, I just don't like bad movies. I don't like any average movies, brother.

Now, I love a good 2010s Jason Bateman rom-com average movie is the perfect movie. Jason Bateman rom-com average movie is the perfect movie. Anything on IMDb that has a 6.3 and it's a comedy, that's the range I live in. 6.3 is pretty high for a comedy. No.

Dude, I guarantee Triangle of Sadness would make you lose your shit. Both of you, I definitely need an apology from you once you watch it. You can't recommend a movie to someone that's a movie why? I mean you can but like what? that's always better when you see it in theaters it's definitely not as good no it is but when you're asking

like oh what movie should I watch tonight you typically give someone a movie they could watch from home I did consider going to movies tonight but I don't want to do it anymore yeah cause you got a good recommendation and you're trying to be fucking neurotic about it. The Good Nurse? No.

My movie that I recommended, dude. Go to the one I recommended. Also, if you want a show to watch at home, I got a fucking recommendation for a show. I'm looking for some shows, too. This one's going to blow your fucking mind, dude. It's called Ancient Apocalypse. I'll add that to my shows list.

Especially. dude it's called ancient apocalypse i'll add that to my shows list especially i've shows them shows that you've seen no i don't have a list of show i thought that would be too hard because you haven't watched a whole is it like series or are you talking about like yeah it's like shows go on it's like that i just it was a logistical nightmare thinking of coming up with that. Ancient Apocalypse really. Starting a new show is tough. Yeah. It is.

You have to really like. I tried to start Ozark and I just couldn't. I'll never watch Ozark because of Bateman in that role. I only watch Bateman. I don't like Bateman. I don't like that Bateman did that role. This is probably one of his biggest roles. Yeah, but I like him.

If not his biggest. I like him as the straight man in a comedy. I like him in Identity Thief. I don't like that Bateman did that. I don't like when actors branch out. I don't like that Bateman did one of the most famous shows ever. The most successful and critically acclaimed shows where he nailed it. Like maybe was even more natural in that role. It's not what made him Bateman.

Dozens of Emmys. It's just not what made him him. And he is still him in that. Fucking sellout. No, he's him. You've never even seen him. He's actually funny in that. No, he's him. You've never even seen him. He's actually funny in that. Yeah, he's funny.

Okay, maybe I like it. I've actually, I've seen like five episodes. It's a good laugh. I like how loosely you hold your opinions. Yeah. These strong ass opinions. All it takes is the slightest bit of pushback and then. Yeah.

It's like, no, actually that's good. Like, oh, okay, maybe that is good. Yeah, I mean, I just feel like you should be open to it. Ham's delicious. I never said it wasn't. Yeah, I mean, I just feel like you should be open to it. Ham's delicious. I never said it wasn't. Oh, I hate ham. I actually don't. I don't hate ham, but I just don't think it's good.

Like, I would never, like, go out of my way to eat ham. I feel that. Like, if it's the only thing being served, I'll eat it, and I'll probably enjoy it, but I'm never going to be like, oh, I could go for some ham tonight. For a good-ass ham. I would never want, like, I would I could go for some ham tonight. For a good ass ham. I would never want just a regular ham sandwich. It would have to be like the third. Ham sandwiches are gross. But also that's processed ham is bad.

Oh, we're talking spiral. Yeah. Oh. Spiral ham is significantly better than sliced ham. I think. The roast beef place that I worked at used to have ham that they kept hot in like a ginger ale. And it gave up, it actually was nice when you didn't want to have roast beef.

I mean, we would work there every day. So if you didn't want to have roast beef every day, if you didn't want to have like the other ship pork and Turkey that they have, maybe you switch it up with the ham sandwich. That was nice ham, but that's the only ham I've ever enjoyed in a sandwich on a Kaiser roll.

Maybe some Cooper sharp American with some peppers on it or something like that. I feel like that could be nice. That could be a nice ham. I was saying earlier that sandwiches really took a hit. I had so many sandwiches in elementary school, high school. I'd just bring it for lunch every day. You're sandwiched out? I think I was sandwiched out for a while.

I was eating the same sandwiches over and over. Now, as I get older, I'm starting to re-appreciate a good sandwich, but I was sandwiched out for a while. I was eating the same sandwiches over and over. Now, as I get older, I'm starting to re-appreciate a good sandwich, but I was sandwiched out for a little bit. What about a hoagie or a hero? Oh, yeah. Are you including that in a sandwich? Because that sounds like a sandwich to me. Yeah, but I'm thinking more just a regular sandwich.

Bread. A bread sandwich. You make your house a roll. You'll come back around, I think. I'm coming back. Sass is in one of his sandwich heydays right now. Oh, I love sandwiches. So I'll eat... I have been trying to eat healthier, so I'm trying to cut down sandwiches, actually.

Cut down? I mean, I'm not going to have... A homemade sandwich is probably more healthy than anything you can order out. God bless. Just like a turkey sandwich. The bread. No, the turkey's bad for you.

That's processed meat, bro. That's preservatives. Yeah, but if you get good turkey or maybe you get a little rotisserie chicken, chop that up, throw that into a sandwich, that's good for you, dude. A little mayo.

No thanks on those carbs. You need carbs. Why is everyone, you guys have such a warped perception of nutrition. You're tired all the time and all you do is crush carbs. Carbs give you energy. That's such a first grade perception you're tired all the time and all you do is crush carbs carbs give you

energy that's such a first grade food pyramid myth have you ever listened to joe rogan dude what you need is fats you need fats no that's that's if you're you need first of all you need good fats you need carbs and you need protein yeah but it's a lot of protein i just started following this account dr james something and he's lying to you no he knows every what he telling you? You can only eat like egg whites and chicken for every meal? It's just a lot of shit about how we're going to change our lives. And one head of broccoli a day? I've been such a different person recently. You cutting back on the carbs wouldn't hurt you, bro.

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That's it. Shady Rays are the best holiday gift you've never thought of giving. That's funny because I have thought of giving them. I've thought of giving them many times. I think about it all the time. I think about it all the time. Maybe they didn't think of it. I think they're underplaying themselves. They're undermining themselves.

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I'm on vodka tonics now. No, that's what I was drinking. No, that's what I'm on now. That's what I was getting slithered off of.

Yeah, V&Ts. No, I was off V&S, vodka sodas. Not tonic water. Why? Because there's sugar in tonic water? I like a gin in tonic.

Gin's bad. Only in the summertime, though. It's not gin season right now. No, it's vodka tonic season? It's vodka season. Huh. Okay, I didn't's not gin season right now. No, it's vodka tonic season. It's vodka season. Huh. Okay, I didn't know that.

I'll switch. Yeah, switch accordingly. Yeah, I'm off the beers. I'm trying to like whiskey. I just can't do it. Oh, I love making whiskey. Brown? Trying to force it down my throat. I've never liked it. If it's brown, it ain't going down. Really? That's what I say. I can never stomach brown.

What's your, if you had to get a mixed drink cocktail, what would it be? Malibu Babies. Yeah, it's some gay shit that's rainbow. Nothing... Some rainbow frozen drink. That's what Tommy orders. Yeah, he always gets the fruitiest. He always gets the brightest color.

The brightest color drink. They taste the best. And they have like 800 grams of sugar in there. You probably get horrible hangovers. No, actually, I've been getting a lot of hangovers recently. I don't know. Maybe you're in your golden age. I might have beat hangovers.

I don't know. I'm looking for a good cocktail. I'm open if you got like a good just like I go out and I don't want a beer. I don't want a Malibu Bay breeze. Just something in that middle. The best cocktail is a Moscow Mule. Yeah, that's a pretty good one, actually. It's a little too gingery sometimes.

Oh, I love the ginger. Not even enough. Never enough ginger for me. Really? Damn. I love ginger in a cocktail. Dude, I'm about to go to this fucking island, dude. I'm about to be drinking fucking mezcal.

When are you going? I don't know. Actually, we're going to have to probably record another episode tonight. I just realized. Jesus Christ. You guys are doing that without me no bro you gotta rock with this one now you got your set later on but we can i'm wiped we're fucking gassed got here at 9 a.m today holy shit how long were we waiting for him though dude i

don't want to hear about that i told you we were just waiting no you said you'd be here at five no i didn't i wouldn't even be on this podcast if you got here at a normal time. Why did I say I was going to be here at five? After the last show. But then I said. No, dude, you said you'd be here at five, dude. I never said that. The show started at four.

Why would I be there at five? That would have made no sense. No, you said that you would be here at five. Dude, I went to a chiropractor. Also, waiting in the afternoon while you're already at the office is way different than me coming here at 9 and Roan showing up at 1130. 1130? 1130. I woke up at 9.

I was in two other meetings by 1130. I woke up at 9am. Or I woke up at 8am. Got here at 9 o'clock. You did not get here at 9 o'clock. It was just me and Big Cat. You've never been here at 9 o'clock. It was just me and Big Cat drinking some Stella. It was me and Big Cat. You've never been here at 9 o'clock. It was just me and Big Cat drinking some Stella. Did you even have your own apartment or something?

It was me and Big Cat drinking some Stella and Roan texts and goes, hey guys, it's going to be a little late. And that was Stella Artois. It's going to be a little late and he gets here two and a half hours late. You were fucking shit-faced off the beers, dude. You stumbled in reeking with your still-drunk shirt on. It was you in a beer

with chicken fry getting shit-faced. Tyler had to sleep at the office because he didn't even have time to go home to get here to film time. That's honestly probably true. If someone could complain about being wiped. And Roan. If someone could complain about being wiped. Waltzing in at noon. You took Monday off, dude, after taking Friday off.

Monday off? I didn't. You took Monday off, dude, after taking Thursday and Friday the week before off. What are you talking about? I was here on Monday. You didn't come in last Wednesday because you had gone out on off, dude, after taking Thursday and Friday the week before off. What are you talking about? I was here on Monday. You didn't come in last Wednesday because you had gone out on Tuesday, dude. Did we have prior obligations? Your life is like a country music song.

Aren't you on the yak every day? Bro, I was here on Monday. He's been missing yaks because he's been so fucking drunk. That's not true at all. Wow. That is not true. I was here on Monday, you fraud. Oh, I have a stand-up show in Baltimore.

Yeah. The stand-up show was on Saturday. No, that's lies. That's lies. Yeah. How was Baltimore? Baltimore was, this is now two weeks ago. So?

We're still talking about Baltimore. Well, you never fucking said how it was, dude. Was the Inner Harbor sweet? Did you get a crab cake? Did you see where the fucking ESPN zone used to be? No, I didn't do anything. Remember that Babe Ruth Museum I went to as a kid? The Babe Ruth Museum? The fucking Edgar Allan Poe Museum? I to be? No, I didn't do anything. Remember that Babe Ruth museum I went to as a kid? The Babe Ruth museum?

The fucking Edgar Allan Poe museum? I didn't get there until like three. Went to the hotel, did the shows, came home, slept. Actually, I did order food at night because I was starving because I didn't eat all day. And I ordered just like a sandwich and a liter of water because I was so thirsty. And I had a bad headache, sore throat, was losing my voice, waited like 45 minutes for the food. It comes, the lady opens up her door, hands me the sandwich and then pulls out a two liter bottle of Fanta. And I was like, you gotta be fucking

kidding me, dude. And then I had to walk back to my room with just like a gallon of Fanta, orange soda. Orange? Dude, I was so upset. I wasn't even mad. I was just defeated. Yeah, that's the last thing. I felt so shitty. You got to pour the Fanta down the sink and just fill it up with sink water.

I should have done that. I just didn't drink water. Do you not drink sink water at hotels? I did drink a little bit of water the next day there. Sink water, but I don't know. It's usually horrible. It wasn't there. Sink water, but I don't know. It's usually horrible. It wasn't great. It's water, dude. Water is not going to be bad for you.

It has to be delicious. I don't think it's bad for you. Sometimes it has a bad taste to it. Yeah, but if you're thirsty, it will quench your thirst, even if it tastes a little bit bad. Take your medicine. There's always people at war on bottled water. It's like, oh, you got tap water. Tap water does not taste nearly as good as bottled bottle water in my opinion call me call it a hot take i agree but

they say new york has some of the best it's yeah it's good even the best new york water is is worse than a poland i don't trust that either i have a hard time getting around the whole like new york has the best new york's a disgusting city how does it have the best tap water it is a little contradictory no one could convince they're like has the best tap New York's a disgusting city. How does it have the best tap water? It is a little contradictory. No one could convince, like it has the best tap water in the country. But they spend like a trillion dollars a year on infrastructure. The taxes are fucking insane because they're like just relaying the pipes

that waters go through. Like Flint's pipes suck because they're just the shittiest, oldest pipes that exist. Did you read that book, How a City Works? Oh, of course. It's on my to-read list. No,. Did you read that book, How a City Works? Oh, of course. It's on my to-read list. No, I didn't read that book, dude. Who recommended that?

I just was looking up books about... I actually was looking up books about guys in their 20s who live in New York City because I can only relate to main characters that I could be. And I was not able to find any, but I guess the search engine directed me that way dude it is so fucked that

now all books have to be about people who aren't guys in their 20s white guys in their 20s that main character has been stolen from us I can't find any books if anyone has any recommendations I just read a Stephen King one about kids the institute actually a great book

how long is it? it's like 500 pages. How long did it take you to read? A couple weeks. I read now. Instead of putting my eyes on a screen before night, no thanks, I'll put it in a book. And now your bag? I'll make my own screen.

The bags under your eyes have completely gone away. I don't think that's true. They're worse than ever. Why do you have such bad bags under your eyes all of a sudden? Not sleeping well? All of a sudden? I feel like I always kind of have. Well, they're getting bad though. Really? I have them too? I feel like I always kind of have. Oh, they're getting bad, though.

Really? I have them, too. I feel like you look like you've been having night terrors. Maybe it's the lighting. No, it's you. I mean, pull up the Jesus picture. Yeah, well, they look horrible. It looks like a fresco painting from a Spanish painter from the 1500s.

Yeah, I mean, I have been waking up earlier. Maybe that has something to do with it. You've been drinking a lot? You've been on the bottle? I don't want to talk about it. It all the sugar right now you're drunk right now he is high as hell tico texas and him faced a blunt earlier yeah i know when we were supposed to be in here recording how long do we wait do you think for them to smoke 30 40 minutes you guys must have just been having the time of your life outside with me and tyler right

just dying we just want to go home i just want to go home and see my kids she said why am i never on son of a boy dad she was like i think little sus hates me we're like yeah he does like and we threw our heads back laughing and we were like he would never talk to a minority woman and it's true whatever minority man yes a white. But a minority woman, the double whammy. Whatever makes you guys feel better about yourselves. Not for Harry. Well, name the minority women that you know. Dozens.

Name them. If not thousands. Name one. I would never. You don't kiss and tell, brother. You'd never out them as a minority or as a woman. What if they're trans? What if they're born man?

What if that? What if we ever think of fucking that yeah what about that what about fucking that dude by the time i don't know what we're gonna do next week after this because by the time next time we record i'm gonna have been on that fucking island when i might die on there we're gonna we're flying like a tiny ass plane. We got to figure out some shit. What kind of plane? Second Granada. CRJ 900?

Probably. That's not a tiny plane, brother. Fuck. It's a sturdy beast. You walk me right into that one. Stoolie Clubhouse. Light my ass up. She flies smooth.

Does she? She flies smooth for her size. I'll say that. The video of the one I saw, like everyone's holding onto his strap. And it's definitely not a CRJ-900. Yes. I've actually been on one of those with you.

When were we on a CRJ? A CRJ-900 is just one of the, it's like a Delta, you know when you're on the fence, like Delta Connection? Did you see those planes that collided at the air show? Yeah, that was fucked. What? No. It was crazy. It was super fuckedided at the air show? Yeah, that was fucked. What?

No. It was crazy. It was super fucked. Sass, you probably thought that video was hilarious. Like, yo, check this shit out. Weren't you the one that was making mass shooting jokes on the act today? Mass shooting? Yeah. I don't think so.

Yeah, I do. What, you had them cut it? What? You had them cut the tapes? What mass shootings? What are you even talking about? Church. We're talking about churches. What about it?

You threw in a couple. I said that it's way better to not shoot up a church. The coolest thing you can do is have a gun and not shoot it. Hey, it's all good. I'm just busting chops. If you need me to explain the joke to you, no. If you didn't get it, that's fine, dude. I can hold your hand. I'm just busting chops. If you want to come on the journey, I can take you on it. I'm just busting chops, brother.

Hey, man. If you're going to dish it out, just let me know if you can take it or not before I start dishing back because when i start dishing back i'm coming with everything i've got sass you're about to roast battle me don't roast me sassy i need to be protected yeah no i that was fucked though that was crazy the the the crash yeah it was like it was at an air show and it was like one of the planes was like, I don't really know what happened. It didn't look like they were going to hit each other at all, though. It did to me.

Really? I thought it looked like the plane on top was way above. It was in Dallas. It was badly fucked. Tragic news. Folks, I want to take this chance to talk to you. And Sass is going to tell you too about about soco yum yum yum do i love me some soco if you're at a festival a tailgate relaxing after

midterms soco is the ready for anything whiskey it's packed with flavor and it makes a mean soco sour and soco black has just the right balance of sweetness wrapped in smoke flavor. For those who like their whiskey. Bold. Bold. Try Soko Sour Shot today. They're so easy to make. One third. Soko.

Of Soko plus two thirds of sour mix. Yum. Done. Yum. Soko is so tasteful. Just the right mix of sass and class. That's my kind of whiskey. Because your name is Sass.

And of course, they said. I've got a lot of class. name is sass and of course they said i've got a lot of sass yeah sass in class of course times change and so does what we drink make a more tasteful choice and choose soco could be great can't wait to have a nice glass of soco this year at thanksgiving dinner tall glass of soco i like to have mine all holiday season long. December. Tall glass of whiskey. Tall glass of a nice Soco sour. Oh, yummy. Wash it down with some turkey. Wash it down with some leftovers.

With some leftovers. Ooh-wee. Click the link in the description below to see more cool stuff from Soco. You seen any tragedies lately? I feel like I did recently. Aside from those fucking bags under your eyes. I saw a Dak Prescott type injury at a high school football field. Oh, yeah.

That was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. I don't know if I'd call that a tragedy, though. I mean, multiple bad for a tragedy. The kid was on the 50-yard line screaming. The crowd was silent, and everybody sprinted away from him. That's tragic at least scar even like the parents and stuff damn it was they were just like he's gonna figure this out himself like we're not dealing with this it was not he had the army crawl to the hospital yeah

dude anytime they sprint away from an injury you know that shit's bad yeah his stomach was going the other way dude like i almost passed out was Was there bone? I started sweating. I don't know, dude. We got my friend coaches high school football. So we went to his game. And the first quarter, this dude has an ambulance calling his whole foot. Wait, you saw this in person? In person, dude. We showed up. It was the only time I went to my friend's game.

Like, all right, this is the last game. We're going to go support you and stuff. And yeah, third play of the game or whatever. The kid is screaming in pain. Blood curdling? Yeah. How long ago was it? Over the weekend. If you went to Lawrence High School,

your foot sat on his, bro. Well, what he was describing made me a little uncomfortable. No, I literally almost passed out. Tyler, go into more detail. I almost passed out, dude. I had to take off my jacket. I was like, hot sweats.

I'm like, dude, I'm worse than this kid right now. And you saw it? Yeah. Everybody ran away, and I had a clear vision from like the fence i was part of how how uh uh vividly do you remember the pitch of the scream forever remember because i turned around and then like you could kind of hear the more the crowd would like see the injury did they play the game still after that uh yeah it was like i, I don't know why the fuck. I left. I was like, I'm not seeing another focus. Yeah, yeah.

How old were the kids? High school? Yeah, if you went to Lawrence High School and you know the kid. Oh, shit. It was high school? Yeah. And the kids were running away from the kid? Yeah.

Oh, sprinting, bro. What did they think he was going to do? The broken bone was going to, it's going around. Because it was that, literally like it was almost facing backwards like his whole ankle was like if this is your foot going this way and like it just normally was disgusting it's a simple pop back in i don't think it is bro that happened to my dad rubbed any dirt in it my dad's entire on like leg flipped around ew yeah i need to get surgery he was playing because it was actually at like a family gathering.

He was playing like catch with my uncle. And he has like bad knees. And he like. And he did it and his whole knee like twisted. Is this the uncle who loves the couch? No. Different uncle. Makes sense.

How many uncles do you have dude? Two. You grew up in a fucking masculine environment. Now I have three uncles and I have like ten aunts. Damn. A lot of single lady aunts in here. I say aunt as well. Yeah, it's disgusting the way he says it.

Aunts. Dude. Okay. Can you dish it or can you take it? I just took it. You're seething. It's only people from Connecticut and I guess maybe Massachusetts that say aunts. Yeah, I say aunts.

Makes more sense. That's how it's spelled. Yeah, he's Massachusetts. That's say aunts. Yeah, I say aunts. You say aunts? That's how it's spelled. Yeah, he's Massachusetts. That's how you spell it. I say restaurant. You definitely don't spell it aunt. Restaurant. I mean, sometimes you pronounce words differently than how they're spelled.

Yeah, if you're dumb. No. You're saying the French way. If you're from fucking Queens or wherever the fuck you're from. I'm just a block away from Queens. Nice try. You are pretty close to Queens nassau county 632 000 for your parents house maybe yeah no it is they bought it for way less right that's what it is right now on zillow that'd be pretty nice no it

is yeah i know i know but so you're saying you're going to inherit that someday I am out of my land really and as an only child that's pretty valuable you should knock it down and build bigger why don't you sell the land throw like a Walmart on top of that or something or throw a rager yeah just one big party

yeah and like pass around a party space oh okay like party city or what about like a no no no like a party uh a party space yeah oh okay like party city or what about like no no no like uh like a party space venue yeah like party city like i can host weddings is it that nice of a house no no no there's also residential weddings like you couldn't have a walmart my backyard is smaller than this room. A $630,000 house in New York. I mean,

if you have a backyard in New York, it's kind of a lot. In Nassau, Nassau, he's about three hours from the city. I'm like 40 minutes.

He's far as fuck from the city. He's like out on Montauk. That's not true. You're far. Can you do shit or can you take it? I can't let that get out there.

I know you're far because you gotta like, there's a lot of traffic to get to the city. L-I-R-R? L-I-R-R, yeah. That's what I take. Yeah, back when you get to see mom and pop. Where's Thanksgiving for you?

I'm flying out to Florida, actually. Oh yeah, you were saying that. Who's going to be there? My mom and dad are down there right now. Okay. Is it the same family members that went to Vegas last year? Yes.

I knew it. Basically, it was this year, not last year. Oh, damn. Time flies. Time's crawling. Well. No, yeah, time's crawling. No, time flies.

If you thought it was last year, then time is, and it was this year. That means that time flies. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. Are you guys fucking with me right now? No, are you? It means that it was a, it means that he thought it was, it was more recent than it was. Which means time flies.

No, he thought it was longer ago than it was. No, time flies. Time flies would be if it was last year and you were like, oh, that was in May. No, you're implying that time fought that that is fast the time flies fast i just mean that it's fucking seriously time flies slowly sass had it wrong no no i don't you don't you don't get to you don't get to make accusations like that on my show wasn't an accusation not on my show so it's's you, your mom, your dad, your aunt, your uncle. Grandma, cousins. Which cousins?

Three girl cousins. Holy shit. Yeah. Think I can come? How old are they? Devin Singletary won't be there. The bill's running back, but his family, his cousin will be there. I'm related to Devin Singletary.

Yeah, because he's going to be in Massachusetts playing against the goddamn Patriots. Yeah. Hey, when my boys have to collide like that. I'll have to send him a card or something. Hey, when my boys fight. Yeah, that's going to be devastating when the boys fight. Damn. I'm not going to be able to root for anyone.

No money line bets. Why? Oh, Bill's Patriots? Those are one of my three teams. Just do player props then. I know, I will. Just a bunch of player props. Devin Singletary anytime.

Touchdown. Mack Jones. I'll tell him. I'll tell him to have a good game. Over 100? No, under. Roasters, dumbass. You're not a Patriots fan.

Come on. Give that shit up. I mean, you got to root for the home team, but definitely root for the Bills here. You got to tell your backwards-k backwards knees dad that fucking the Patriots my dad's got good my dad's got good knees bro now he does? did he get a replacement?

did he get a replacement? uh no he just got surgery damn what was the surgery? I don't remember put them forward? yeah

he had to twist it back around damn that must have been horrific to watch I don't remember it damn so you don't remember the sound your dad made? but Tyler will always remember a stranger?

My dad definitely made no sound. My dad doesn't make sounds like that. He would definitely just be like, and they'd be like, alright, gotta go to the hospital. So he's a man. Yeah. You're a man's man. Damn. How'd you come out like this? Exactly, yeah, you must have bitched up.

Too soft. Soft hands. Been too busy counting money. Yeah, you have. You must have bitched up. Too soft. Soft hands. Been counting money. Been too busy counting money. Yeah, you have. So you got that Tommy race. Yeah. Who do you think has made more this year? Tommy off reality shows or Sass off stand-up? Definitely Sass.

I don't know. No, probably not. No, probably not. How many reality shows have you done? How much have you made? I've won like $200,000. $33,000 on reality shows. Not even after tax.

That's like a weekend for SAS. That's what they're paying me tonight to go to the stand. That's 20 minutes for SAS in Rochester. They pay me $30,000 just to show up. $30,000 in fucking Utica goes a long way, too. Oh, yeah. $30,000 in fucking Ithaca. You could buy the whole town. Utica goes a long way too. 30K and Bridgeport. Buy the whole town.

Buying real estate in every town you go to. Setting up an Airbnb. All you got to do is hire a property manager, man. It's that simple. Let me get you in touch with my business manager, dude. He'd love you. He would. He was trying to manage Tommy, wasn't he? He was really trying to manage Tommy. You have a real business manager,

right? Me? No. You have a real business manager, right? Me? No. You have a manager of some sort, no? I don't have a business manager. Like a guy that handles my financials. Oh, an investment guy. You're talking about an investment guy. You don't have an investment guy? Yikes. Do you? Yeah. His name's Merrill Lynch.

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20% off all polos, Q-Zips, hoodies, and the newly released joggers with code SUN. It's definitely the man. He's definitely the man. I know. How much would you have to be paid to do 45 minutes of stand-up to an audience of one of Dave Portnoy. Like $1,000? Really? That's it? We can easily make that happen.

I wouldn't give a... Why would I care about that? I don't know. It seems incredibly awkward. Even if he saw me in an audience of like 1,000 people, he'd probably be like, yeah. Yeah, but I think the awkwardness of the one really enhances that no no the acts the act i would just yeah i would just do my material yeah i guess since you do i guess

it's different he also doesn't have the same level of hero worship as you do for dave that's true that's not true that's hates barstool no dave's to me. You see him as a peer and Sass sees him like a Tommy sees him like he's a grandfather. Yeah. No, I don't see him like a grandfather. I see him like a father. If you were peers with your father. No. I think you see Dave as an equal. You're both co-workers for Penn.

Right? That's how Sass looks at it. Not even close. Why not? I look at Dave and i say i would take a goddamn bullet for you of course but that's any co-worker you'd take a bullet for frank doug's glenny yeah brandon mince yeah ev any of your co-workers you're a real piece of shit, dude. You know that? How? You know that, right? How? Why don't you state how I'm a piece of shit?

Tyler, what time are we at? Because I've got to get out of here. We've got to go like 15 more. We're at 50. 50? Yeah. We're probably going to have like four or five hours. Time's flying. No, it's crawling. It's crawling, Tommy. We both are miserable being in this room with you come on

I was supposed to be home doing laundry tonight I have to go do laundry too no you have to go get it from a fucking laundry mat I was gonna do it I was gonna air fry

sorry I don't live in a fucking mansion apartment with built in laundry it's downstairs and my elevator was broken the other day one of your eight elevators two elevators and one of them it's crazy that you One of your eight elevators? Two elevators and one of them...

It's crazy that you guys only have two elevators for that apartment. Yeah, one was down the other day. Hasn't it been down since your apartment? Actually, Spider just... We have a great villain. So our regional general manager of our apartment building

is... He started a year and a half ago. Our elevator shut down last july 2021 we have two elevators like one's gonna be under construction for 23 weeks the other one for 23 weeks should have been back in may still not back in november and spider this is the guy in the email where it's like hey we're having a movie night in the courtyard best blank spider has been emailing this guy what best what like best wishes best wishes, like, and then the name. I just didn't say his name.

Spider's been emailing this guy for months, calling him a scumbag. He's been like, you're a fucking scumbag. You said this elevator was going to be ready in May. It's still not. Like, hypothetical. What if there's a medical emergency on the 24th floor and, like, nothing's there? And he's just been hammering this guy. And he somehow realized that he has the guy's phone number he found it in like an old email so he

started texting him sunday and was like hey it's your old friend dan from you know this apartment building and they had it out on the phone yesterday like spider was screaming at him on the phone and the other guy was just kind of laughing at him and i'm starting to respect him as a villain he's a great villain he was just like i'm trying my best what'm starting to respect him as a villain. He's a great villain. He was just like, I'm trying my best. What do you want me to do? He's not trying his best though. He laughed at him and then we found out that he's related to some kid we know that goes

to Florida. What's his name? Seraphim? No, not Seraphim. Say his name. Say his name. You will say his name. Todd what? What nationality is it? Does it end with a vich? No. Todd Nokovic. Irish.

Probably. Todd O... I don't know. Nick. Callahan. Todd Callahan. Todd Callahan? No. Similar vein to Callahan. Oh, Coughlin? No. Yeah, that was definitely weirdly similar. Same letter? Not The same letter?

Not the same letter, just similar vein. Tom? I don't think you're going to... Todd. Todd. Todd. What did you say? McDonald's. Holy shit. I know Todd.

No way, so Todd McDonald's. My uncle actually is friends with me. That was a lie. That whole all that was a lie that whole naming thing was a lie it's not todd mcdonald's not even todd holy fuck what the fuck that was this is kaiser zose getting away i don't know how you did that dude but that was fucking awesome like that dude yeah like i was the mentalist over here yeah that was impressive as fuck yeah thank you didn't someone actually die in your building though yeah killed himself yeah that's pretty so long to get fixed jesus christ tommy legitimately killed himself though uh yeah dude i didn't like

that at all and you just like had us like standing where he died like the night before at least like 12 yards away you're like yeah someone killed himself here actually like yesterday it was like a week prior i don't like that one bit yeah you did love that people probably killed themselves killed themselves in your building too no we actually have a very good thing going in my building we all keep in touch with each other check in on each other mental health very tight knit as a co-op make sure we all take an art taking our other check in on each other mental health very tight-knit as a co-op make sure we all taking our taking our antidepressants group chat called the pulse check yeah vibe check how is everybody just heard a bang from upstairs everything okay

that wasn't someone's firearm was it that wasn't a chair toppling over and a beam getting pulled on by a rope was it now my neighbors killed themselves. That's the thing we got going on. Dang, Tommy. All right. Well, have you ever suffered loss before, Tommy? Yeah.

Okay. All right. Slow down there. Hope you guys all have a great Thanksgiving. Make sure you eat a bunch of turkey and stay away from the stuffing this year for the guys over at the stool okay alright we'll see you guys next week

and seriously be thankful okay we'll see you guys next week alright bye well great stuff have to scratch all that. The triangle office. The triangle office. We're still recording.

I'm keeping that in. Smooth as the triangle. Just like the triangle office. The triangle office.