Son of a Boy Dad - A Farewell to HQ4 | Son of a Boy Dad #166

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

A Farewell to HQ4 | Son of a Boy Dad #166You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. We are live from HQ4, and there is a delay, so we have to, I guess we don't have to, we should talk like there isn't a delay. Still hard to get used to that. That's fine.

We can talk as if there isn't one. And this is our last, as of now, our last episode here at HQ4. My bad. Yes, this is our last, or maybe our last. We don't really know yet. But we will be moving back to HQq3 for monday's episode and most likely wednesday's episode as well because we have a studio now feels like a major step backwards well you never really know i mean we'll see how it goes i think it's going to be good i think the

studio looks nice that wanted us to have the studio so it's like what i know you don't even know what we want anymore exactly and like we could we in one's hand we could do it as a dying wish for her but on the other hand like we could just become our own that is true our own people with the death of our mother erica i know it's crazy dude that clip of jerry yesterday what did he say someone asked him like some controversial question i didn't see the you didn't see the clip fuck i'll find it what was it someone asked him something and then he like he was like i'm not gonna say that and then he just goes shout out to erica for stepping down as ceo it was like it was literally like a 30 second clip with him like talking like pro-life or some shit then instantly just into

like the erica thing changed topics but instead of saying like congratulations on your career he said shout out to erica for stepping down as ceo which was cracking me up very funny they had they got jersey jerry fucking uh i felt bad for him last night dude that did not look they got him on full monkey monkey mode that shit's not i'm not a big like throw up guy so that wasn't like that just looks like terrible i know some people like that i know some people think that stuff is funny but like i was i know part of me was like that was just like this looks painful he's gonna well it's jackass vibes yeah which i mean i like the jackass movies when they're like making their penises into ping

pong paddles or whatever that shit is funny to me yeah yeah i like some jackass stuff but i don't like the i guess now maybe i don't like some jackass stuff because most of it is just them like shoving shit up their asses all right this is the clip we're watching a clip thoughts on the border problem yeah i mean dude all i'll say is this matter of fact i think i think dave would like me to keep my mouth shut i'm not gonna say anything shout out erica for stepping down ceo Stepping down, CEO. I wouldn't mind hearing Jerry's political opinions if that's what Jerry's After Dark is going to be. That would be awesome.

What do we think about the border problems? Oh, man, I don't know enough about it to speak on it. By the way, quick pivot. Did you see the pictures of the tunnel systems i know i'd bring up the tunnels a lot no i didn't i was literally just listening to a podcast where they were talking about it hamas's tunnels oh i thought you're talking about the brooklyn tunnels tunnels look better than the subway system in new york city how so they are what are the walls of? Dirt? They've got stone mosaics that are homages to Spike Lee. Damn.

They have... Spike Lee getting a big shout out. Yeah. I mean, it is... Wait, they actually have do the right thing mosaics up? What's that got... Mars? Mars.

If you're Spike Lee and you see an homage from Hamas, what is your reaction there? Make a movie? Shout out for the fans. Because you don't want to go against your fans, right? But at a certain point. I'm assuming there's a large amount of Hamas members. So you don't want to isolate them. But it's also a conflicting thing.

If you did a show in Israel and you sold out an arena and it was all hamas people what's your plan there you can't cancel the show i know i'm i'm wondering how they're how they're getting home how did they get in and how are they getting back i'll tell you what i'm doing is i'm catering to whoever likes me even a little bit that's right yeah i'm switching my political opinion to whoever i'm talking to yeah see saw flip-flop make the bucks yeah i'm getting real soft real fast it's so hard to have any type of conviction and i can't believe people do honestly it's probably exhausting to have conviction as exhausting as it is to flip-flop and just go where the wind goes having conviction and like

shushing the like any dissenting opinion has to be it has to be just mental torture yeah i i'm glad i don't i find it mentally torturous to just uh see how strong people's opinions are yeah i'm like how how could you care that being said we have to close this fucking border though there's way too let's bring it all back around the border needs to be closed we had a white american uber driver who brought us here and we left and said thank god it's been so long oh really i really? I hate when that happens. This guy's name was Frank. Anytime I have a white Uber driver, I'm in the back of the seat just fuming. Why?

Because they talk so much. He was not sure how to do his job. Yeah, of course. Remember? He was like, is it here? I'm like, dude, did you just get here? Probably. Did you just drive from fucking Wyoming and start?

No, I think Francis was dead on. He must have been a convict. He must be fresh out of the clink. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense that he would have fallen backwards into a job driving Ubers in New York City. We need to give the Uber driver jobs back to the migrants. Bro, this is how white he was when he couldn't figure out, because we were telling him to go right on an earlier street so he could get coffee. And he was looking at the street signs and he lifted up his glasses. Oh, yeah, that's tough.

Is this Morton? That's it. That's tough. Yeah, that's not good. Like your dad reading an ingredient list. Yeah. It was tough. And I was saying that Caroline put out a sketch about an Uber driver being in the backseat of an Uber in New York.

And I was just taken out of the sketch because the Uber driver was like a young white female. I was like, no fucking way. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's not realistic at all. You rarely ever even get a girl Uber driver. It must be dangerous for them. Yeah, probably.

No, but when you do do they're studying in traffic yeah i've never had that they've got like a a gmat book on the driver's seat and they're waiting for the light to change why are so many lawyers fucking uber drivers themselves through night school and prepping while they're taking you why are there so many lsat uber drivers i've seen uh whenever i'm watching these I Know My Rights type of TikTok videos, it's always Uber drivers who know the law really well. They're like, I'm a fucking lawyer, buddy. I'm not fucking giving you my ID type of thing.

Why do so many lawyers can't get money? Lawyers can't make a buck these days? They resort to driving? Maybe they're still in the process of becoming a lawyer? What about their daddy's money? What about mommy and daddy's money? Yeah, I don't know about their daddy's money? What about mommy and daddy's money? Yeah, I don't know. You can't be a lawyer without mommy and daddy's money.

No. I mean, isn't it like eight years of school? No, it's three years of school. Something insane. To become a lawyer? That's right. Like a good lawyer, though? Or like a fucking defense attorney?

You could become a white-collar lawyer at a high-collar firm in three years. But you've got to clerk in the summers or you've got to do those internships. And then the first year that you have at those firms sucks. You're working 16 hours a day. It's got to be tough work for the dudes who are defense attorneys whose clients expect them to get off of a crime that they obviously did well i think it's mostly they probably just try and get them the best deal that they can right the clients probably expect they're like oh like i hired you like yeah get

get get me out of this it's like dude you did you did the thing you're on tape robbing the old lady with the gun yeah being at a defense attorney in general would be a very morally conflicting job especially if you get put on like a massive case well there's two types right there's there's ones that get there's private defense attorneys or whatever there's you know white collar big collar yeah big white collar and there's public defenders yeah who they're free. They're paid by the city. By Uber. They're paid by Uber. Yeah, they're not paid much.

And those people are required to take like... I think it's like they do three days on, four days off. I don't know if that's the number, but it's like being a fucking Alaskan king crab fisherman. Because the work is so soul-crushing. You come home soaking wet. Yeah, they're defending like child rapists and they have to hear these stories

and go through it and be like, don't give him the death penalty. Just put him in jail for life. Yeah, yeah. And they have to like say, look, he's trying. He learned the ABCs last week yeah your honor he was born a pervert yeah there's nothing i can do blah blah he's just carrying on the family name

and um you think it'd be morally tougher to do that though than to be a prosecuting attorney who's like bury him under the jail throw away the fucking key they believe in what they're doing they think they're putting bad guys off taking bad guys off the street i go depend on the crime it would suck to have a dude who gets busted for weed and you got to give him the fucking death penalty in like florida wait say what do you mean by that say that again well there's like i mean i'm sure it'll be a lot easier to put a fucking like serial killer away than someone who committed some low level crime right roan's question was what is more grading on the soul oh i think being a prosecutor or a public defender definitely uh definitely a public defender 100 i agree yeah oh i think the opposite i think a pro i think if you're putting someone in jail like i'm picturing fucking jean

valjean i'm picturing a boy who just fucking is just wants some bread or like is so poor and desperate that they have to rob that's what I meant when I said low-level crimes. Putting someone away for that would be... I'm thinking of robbing candlesticks from the church or something like that. Yeah, yeah. And someone gets put on 20 years of hard work duty on the chain gang or some shit like that.

Build community service. Yeah, that would suck. Take on the Vikings. Yeah. They're not... I still don't think it would suck as much as having to defend horrible crimes I agree

But who's committing horrible crimes? There's like five people committing horrible crimes And they're skinny white guys who are eventually going to wind up Getting fucking killed in jail I mean, I'm sure I'd be curious to know what it's like in New York City as a public defender It's probably just fucking constantly There's probably so much bad shit

That happens in this city that you're not even aware of I speak on this because I was a fucking Paralegal in the district attorney's office For a year there's probably so much bad shit that happens in this city that you're not even aware of because i was a i was a fucking paralegal in the district attorney's office for a year yes of course do these things cold is yours queen for a day you ever heard of that no queen for a day what is that i think the concept was a day uh yeah no the the the perp the perpet perpetrator, would come into the DA's office. You've been queen in your whole life, brother. Give me five more seconds, and then give me your next tag, and then I'll go another five. All right, continue. Go.

You want to just get it all out now? No, I was the only one. King of queens over here. Yeah, yeah. Queen B, fucking. Let me know when you're done, and then I'll tell what the story you asked me to tell. I did not ask you to tell the story, but go. You said the floor is yours.

Yeah, that was a tag. You missed the tag. That's a pretty normal idiom to use to tell someone to speak. All right, I want to hear the story. Tell the story. I don't even want to anymore. Oh, my God. Tell the story.

You'll like this. Okay. Queen for a Day is where the perp comes into the DA's office, and I think everything that they say in there... More like Gay for a Day. All right. I'll stop. Go.

Bruh. All right. I won't do it again. I mean, I had to do it again. Go. Bruh. All right. I won't do it again. I mean, I had to do it again. That was really good. All right, go. I loved that. He's going to strangle you in your sleep, but he loved it.

Oh, man, that was so good, the timing there. All right. They come in. I'm not going to say anything else. I think they can tell their story, and nothing that they say in that meeting can be used. Okay. And they speak to the prosecuting attorney. Yeah.

The assistant, the ADA, right? The assistant district attorney. Yeah. There's the DA. There's one DA. And then there's like a ton of ADAs who are all the lawyers who prosecute. And the defense attorney's in there as well and then the da and the prosecutor try to come up with a deal so that it doesn't go to trial nobody wants it to go to trial because it costs so much money

it's just a huge waste of fucking time most of the time like it's a big waste of like judges time resources open getting a fucking jury together is a huge hassle yeah you're you're putting whatever it is nine people out of work eight people whatever it is nine or like i thought it was like 16 it might be yeah for for sometimes weeks yeah oh well maybe so bad. Twelve angry men. Could be around eight. Depends on the country. Probably. Sometimes it's just a mighty king who decides to cut your baby in half or not.

But go ahead. What is that? Solomon? Oh, yeah. He just passed judgment. He just passed judgment over everybody. Biblical. You wouldn't know that.

Your testament was holding. No, I don't know any of what you guys are talking about. Most of the references that you guys have made today have just gone right over my head. We warmed up. Were you guys talking about the Bible before this or some shit? No, we warmed up, though, in the cab. We had a good thing going. All right.

Want to hear about that? I'm not going to crush it. No, I want to hear the rest of the story. The Uber, not the cab. And I would sit in and take notes on the meeting and you would hear what they're like confessing yeah yeah yeah damn do you have any good ones well i remember a few yeah and one thing that was crazy to me was that i always found the fucking perp so convincing and the dada would always be such an asshole to him.

And be like, I don't believe a single word you're saying. You're lying to me. Yeah. And I was like, are you kidding? He's almost in tears. Yeah. You didn't buy that? I bought that.

Why are you being an asshole? One of them that I loved, I'll tell you one good one, was that there was this guy who had tried to start a restaurant. And the restaurant failed and then there was a like 25 000 of damage were done was done to um all of the restaurant machine machinery like the stoves the the broiler, the hood. That shit is expensive. All of that. Yeah, yeah. And he claimed that he had no idea what had happened.

Was it like he was trying to do an insurance scheme? He was just mad at the investors, and he was trying to... He went in there with a baseball bat and beat the shit out of the restaurant. That's hilarious. He just went in with a rampage, banging and climbing. Do you think after that, because it's probably mostly adrenaline that entire time,

do you think as soon as that ends, he's like, what the fuck did I just do? When he's looking around and the entire restaurant is just in shambles. I think he knew that they were going to sell it all because you can sell that shit. Yeah, yeah. And he didn't want them to be able to because he was so bitter that they had shut his restaurant down because it was his vision.

I think he was like the owner and it had been his dream. And then the investors were like, we're pulling out. I don't even think they opened. Yeah. But they had bought all this stuff and he just went. Crimes of passion are hilarious. It's like shooting your lover after finding they had an affair or something like he just crimes of passion are hilarious like shooting your lover after finding their they had an affair or something like that it's like oh fuck because

it's anything just like a deep breath would have cured most of those crimes yeah or just like fucking going on a walk just like playing video games okay i got one more i got one more i just remembered yeah one more story what is it the. I just remembered. Yeah. One more story. What is it? There was another one where a guy, he wanted to represent himself because he thought the whole system was against him. Like Ted Bundy. Yeah. And he wasn't. They're all, they're never smart.

No. They never, they think they are. Yeah. They're like, I've read, I've watched, you know, Law and Order. I can represent myself in court. It's a huge mistake. And so his, but the defense attorney is required to sit next to them, but like not speak. Yeah, yeah.

And that guy's just sitting there being like, yeah, I told you not to fucking say that. But you're digging yourself in a hole. I didn't know people actually did that. Yeah, this guy. Defended themselves. He had started with the public defender and then thought he wasn't doing a good enough job and was like, I want to per se or whatever it's called. I think it's per se or pro se. I'm representing myself.

Pro se. Pro se. For self. Bingo. Wow. You got Latin? Yeah, he knows all the Latin. That's pretty good.

I know all languages. So this guy went pro se. Yeah, Latin? Yeah, he knows all Latin. That's pretty good. I know all languages. So this guy went pro se. Yeah, and here's what he had done. He'd been in a cab in New York City. He was fucked up, threw up in the back of the cab. The cab driver pulled over, got out of the cab to come around back and then pull him out of the cab. When he pulled the guy out of the cab for throwing up the guy punched the cab driver in the face punched him in the face then got into the cab and then drove it up oh my god

university place going like 55 smashed into a telephone pole on union Square at the top of University and bent the telephone pole and the top of the telephone pole skewered a hot dog cart. Oh, my God. Swear to God. Sparks and shit everywhere. Just like went right through the middle of it. Dude, imagine that fucking wake up the next day. And that's what stopped him.

And there was like damage. It was like damage there molt you know so it was like your joke about yeah yeah i mean that's crazy because that's like again that's that's something that shouldn't have been nearly as bad as it was no it should have been worse you think in fact nobody was killed nobody was injured oh yeah that's true this guy's shit-faced drunk driving a cab willy-nilly, thinks he's being chased up one of the most populated blocks of lower Manhattan. Do you think he was trying to just get home, or was he just like, fuck this driver?

It was definitely just all adrenaline. Yeah, and maybe a cop, I can't remember if the cops were chasing him or whatever, but this only stopped because he ran headfirst into a telephone pole. I could see my... It was a lamp, a light. I could see the thrill of the cab driver pulling you out, you punch them and then you take his car, but then just like

it would be hilarious if you just took the car and then just parked it a street over and got out and walked. I could see the thrill of it. Yes, if he got away from it it would be a hilarious story. The cab driver wouldn't even have called the police he probably would have just been like all right you win fuck this i guess i'll get back in my car and go back to work right just walking around like cold as shit in the city just

grumbling under his breath two blocks over get it and then clean all the puke out of the back yeah that would be or just like just to show him what you could have done Just get in the car, drive like 200 feet up Get out of the car and run away It's basically the night of Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of this entire time It's the night of I just can't imagine ever being that drunk That I would make such an irrational

Bad decision There had to have been some drugs involved as well I think so To swing on the cab driver And then to get in the car And be like fuck it i'm taking this thing and this is a guy who represented himself in court he kept saying he's he kept yelling at the judge and the judge there was a jury yeah and the judge see i'm surprised that's something that i would think wouldn't even go to court. You don't have a choice if they insist.

Yeah. I just think that's a low-level enough thing that the DA would. No, he's like, I didn't do what they're saying I did. Oh, okay, I see. Or he says that the cab driver, he made him fear for his life, and that's why he got... It was like... Yeah, yeah. Whatever it is...

That's why he skewered the hot dog this guy is so crazy and such an asshole that he's like i'm taking this to the finality of the american legal what was his argument i it was it was all over the fucking place he is you know he's got like documents and he's blown stuff up at like a fucking Xerox store. You know, he's got a Kinko's and he's got like maps of Manhattan and he's drawing stuff. It's, you know, it's all over the place.

And then he's getting mad because the judge keeps telling him like, move on. And then, and then he thinks the judge is against him and he starts yelling, this is a miscarriage of justice. You know, he's yelling big things like that. And then the judge and he are having such a bad time that the judge has to excuse the jury. Because he knows that for the jury to continue to see him berating the judge, berating his defense attorney is going to so he's protecting him

bias the jury against him to such a degree that he will have to call a mistrial and then find another fucking jury and start over which is what happens but you're still in like holding when that's all happening, right? Yeah. Or did he get out on a shirt? Yeah. He's in jail. Yeah. While they're being pushed. But he can just prolong this.

Yeah. And then I think the worst thing that can happen, I mean, the only way to really get him is contempt of court, which I don't even know how bad that is. So what do you end up getting? I don't i don't even know how bad that is so what do you end up getting i don't know i didn't i would i just we went to watch it for two days because it was like such a firework show but then you just get so sick of this fucking guy yeah yeah that makes sense i cannot believe that people just want to be lawyers thinking that like people are good at arguing when they're like 12 years old and they're like i want to be a lawyer well i think it also

has a lot to do with like tv because the's the same shit when I watch one of those shows. I'm watching season three of True Detective right now. And it's like, man, I wish I was a detective. And then you realize that most detective work is like, oh, there's some dude hit his wife. And now we've got to go over to the place and figure out what happened. Yeah, like waking up at four in the morning to somebody getting mowed down with 48 bullets. Yeah.

And just being hammered all day, depressed as fuck. In season one, Woody Harrelson stops being a detective because he goes to a scene where a guy microwaved his baby. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said, I don't want to ever see that again. Who reported that one? I feel like that's easy to get away with. The baby, believe it or not.

It's fucking hot in here. Hello? Am I on popcorn? You have 30 seconds to get here, officer. They're reheating me. Damn. They put me back in the oven You say

They say bun in the oven You would think it would make sense Put them back in their home You know But I guess a microwave Is a little bit too modern For the I would imagine

Just being like fucking I would imagine it just being Like you'd be like a marshmallow Have you ever put a marshmallow In a microwave And they just get really big Maybe you can like That's like that South Park episode

That's what the movie Jack was about Yeah He just grew up really fast Because they put him in the microwave Have you ever like that's like that's how the park episode that's what the movie jack was about yeah he just grew up really fast because they put him in the microwave have you seen that south park episode where they put their balls in the microwave no you haven't seen that i have they get so they can get testicular cancer medical marijuana and then they're all they're all bouncing around on their balls that's like their motor their transportation i've seen that or randy marsh walking to uh work with his balls in a wheelbarrow very funny man very funny that was like the first episode of south park i ever saw

you guys remember when your parents started letting you watch um like uh dirty television no because i don't think i ever was it was never like i don't think my parents wanted me to watch south park yeah mine didn't want me to watch south park or even the simpsons finally got to watch the simpsons and my life materially changed for the better really oh my god remember the first r-rated movie you ever watched i was watching the blues brothers as a youth but r-rated movies without breasts r-rated movies with just cursing is like... Yeah, because a lot of old R-rated movies could be PG-13 easily. I rented Romy and Michelle's high school reunion thinking that I was going to see Lisa Kudrow's

titties. Yeah. I got it from the fucking TLA video, prepared to beat off in my basement to it, and dude, fucking just dry jacked to no completion for the entirety of the movie because there wasn't so much of a nipple slip yeah that's tough dude it was brutal so that's just painful that's all that is yeah you were just in pain for an hour and a half never forget romeo and michelle's. It's coming soon. Any minute now. Because the cover of it is two hot blondes and teddies.

I was like, I'm definitely going to see some fucking teddies. What are teddies? Teddies is like a see-through nightgown. Oh, very interesting. It's like a sexy pink nightgown. And I was like, I feel like I was guaranteed for some. It's what a mistress would wear to a sleepover. Oh, very interesting.

A guaranteed sexiness. Yeah. And there was no sexiness. In fact, it was these intellectually fucking disabled women. These dumb women. Yeah. That's what the movie was about. I didn't like it at all.

We'd go to... It was more of a reality show. We'd go to a movie gallery, and we would go rent a movie for a sleepover for the express purpose of hoping that it had nudity in it. That's why I got i got romeo and michelle i feel like that's and we often struck out yeah it's crazy we rented waiting for guffman and i don't know why we thought there would be nudity in that but we rented it and we watched it and we thought it was the worst thing we'd ever seen and years later people are talking about it like it's this cult classic from all those you know canadian that whole tribe of comedian people that did uh

the greatest show whatever the dog show one yeah great uh uh i know exactly those mockumentaries show best show yeah which are brilliant they are and but i was i was too young to appreciate that humor i didn't get it at all i remember the first i remember but i was i was too young to appreciate that humor i didn't get it at all i remember the first i remember when i was in sixth grade my friend slept over and we rented the internship with owen wilson and vince vaughn you saw it in fucking sixth grade see i was hesitant to bring this up because i know that movie is like not that old and i know every time i bring it up people are like you were that young when that movie came out there's a line in that movie that made me laugh so hard that I

missed a lot of the movie. That movie's hilarious, but we rented the unrated version, and there's a lot of tites in it. Really? When they go to the strip club. Yeah, that shit is awesome. I used to crank down to that, just caught, like, most days. Just throw it up on the Xbox. Just skip to the scene, or you watch

the whole movie? No, I don't watch the whole movie. It's nice because it's like the plot of a porno no i would skip to the scene it gets you in the fucking mood a little bit yeah i i uh i was at a jewish funeral we were sitting shiva yeah at a fucking uh a friend's house on the main line in uh pennsylvania and they put the kids downstairs while the adults were upstairs scarfing down locks and bagels and shit like that, and they put on Starship Troopers, and all the Jewish kids were watching Starship Troopers, and me and my Catholic sister were in there,

and fucking titties popped up on the scene. And my fucking sister went in front of the TV screen and stood there like starfished out like a clock in the movie screen, in front of the TV screen and stood there like starfished out. Oh, yeah, yeah. Blocking the entire screen being like, no one could watch this. And dude, the little,

the Jewish kids who were probably like five years younger than us, we were probably like nine. These kids were like five years old or some shit like that, were furious. They were like screaming at her

to get out of the way. They were furious because she was blocking it. Oh, you prude bitch. Yeah, honestly. They were fucking disgusted. But we had this Catholic guilt sewn into us that the Jews were just lucky enough the jews are just lucky enough to oh i thought she was doing it to protect the jews no she was doing it being like you can't watch this we're not this is naughty oh that's

crazy that's not at all what i thought because i the jew the at least the hasidic jews are very strict with like oh you thought she was being noble no she was being like yeah i thought she was protecting the jews no she was like we're not allowed to be watching this and you're certainly not allowed to be watching it while we're down there sitting shiva the parents were probably throwing it on they're like get these kids horny fucking get them along to making a new generation of jews we need to repopulate yeah yeah exactly i feel like that's the whole jewish mantra i uh the first jews on earth the first r-rated movie i ever watched was stand by me and i remember i was in i was at a hotel i was in a hotel with my parents they let me rent it on itunes on my ipod touch because they knew there was no breasts because it's pretty much

not an r-rated movie but i remember being so pumped it's so crazy and then i watched it and the only thing like they just like swear yeah they c. Yeah, they cuss. It's a great movie though. It's a great movie. But the cussing, the fact that they're throwing out R-rated movies for cussing. You know what really. There still is, but there still is like limits to PG-13. I think you can only say the F word once. Which is so stupid. Yeah.

It doesn't make any sense. And Titanic was PG-13, but Kate Winslet. But there's breasticles in it. Does full sweater puppies. Yeah. Yeah, that was awesome. Breasticles. But it's so long that you literally...

That's another one that I fucking was dry jacking for the entire first VHS. And it was like an hour and a half. Then there's another VHS that you have to put in to finally get to the titties. Same was true of The Sound of Music. Is there Breasticles in The Sound of Music? Yes. No, just two VHSs. The Von Trapp family titties.

Dude, that movie is so long. It's long, but it's amazing. We used to watch the movie in school, and it would take us like two weeks of class to watch it. It's like four hours long, right? It's long. I saw that movie in theater. Like at a musical.

With my family the sound of music what do you mean you or a play you saw the live play live play i don't remember where it was i was very young but i remember when i was three years old yeah i think we've talked about this before but i remember when they dropped the swastika flags down wow and being like whoa i remember being like i remember i being like, I hope someone doesn't accidentally stumble in here. I hope no one takes a picture of me in here and think I'm at a fucking Hitler Youth Rally.

And they just assumed that it was like, yeah, we were at some fucking Nazi rally. They're like real. What are you doing here, Sass? Is that you? Getting caught at the sound of music? Imagine being the dude whose job it is to bring those in when they're traveling. He's got to travel with them.

You're the flag guy. I probably ripped that from Curb a little bit. Really? Is that a Curb thing? There was a great episode of Curb where he had to go get the fucking hood, the KKK hood hoods outfits dry cleaned oh really the guy because he spilled the coffee on him oh no i don't think i've seen that oh it's funny but like going through airport security with like massive black duffel bags yeah fucking uh forgetting you had like a water bottle in there oh fuck shit you mind if we uh search this thing real quick we're doing in public or should

we do it yeah we'll take it to the back there's a bomb in there please anything there's there's children's bodies i've been having sex with them i've been having sex with the small children's That would be so funny Oh man She was I'll tell you what though For a former nun That Maria Yep Yes

How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a A flibberty jib A will of a wisp Hold it down? Yeah That always felt a little rapey to me It probably was

How do you hold the movie in your hand? If it feels a little bit rapey to you, it usually is rapey. How do you hold a movie? But not in that case. I've never seen the movie, so I don't know. You just saw the play. Oh, Sound of Music. Yeah.

I feel like we're going back to one of these fucking old-time movies. That's honestly, I still use the Sound of Music to find a music note. To warm up your voice? No, just to be like, what is this note? Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do. Honestly, I still use the sound of music to find a music note. To warm up your voice? No, just to be like, what is this note? Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that shit until the sound of music.

It is a good ass movie. It's a classic, dare I say. But is Do A or is it C? It's C, right? It all depends on how she started the scale. Your most basic scale would be C major. I took chorus in fifth grade, and we used to have to warm up and go, Mommy made me munch my M&M's, yum, yum.

Mommy made me munch my M&M's, yum, yum. It was very fun. It was a musical episode today. It was by far the most fun part of chorus. Yeah. Vo, va, vo. And we would sing. Vo, va, vo, vo.

Swing low, sweet chariot coming for to carry me home it was very it would be where did you go to school on that fucking plantation it would always feel weird when you when you would like notice yourself getting into it and you'd be like swing low and then you'd be like oh I'm not supposed to enjoy this I forgot Yeah I always enjoyed it Shit I forgot this was gay for a second

Yeah that's what the teachers are looking for Like which one of you Which one of you is gay enough For me to cast in a musical I was misjudged as gay When I was in fourth grade They cast me in a musical They were like

You're gonna be Winthrop They saw me singing gay enough They're like Oh you're probably gay we'll put you in the musicals yeah did he just close his eyes for an extended period of time why did he just close his eyes when he hit that high note did he do that thing they do in acapella groups when they're singing and they're like yeah making eye contact with another guy you're singing with oh yeah he's gay enough

let's put him in the music book he might be the lead shit because the other kid it was like four nights and I was like

Tuesday Saturday or Thursday Saturday the other kid was Friday Sunday and that kid

turned out to be gay he turned out to be gay his brother turned out to be gay and those are the only two boys in the family whole tribe of gays That's what I mean

If they hook up is it incest Of course they're brothers But my question is There might be different rules around it I'm not sure Is their dad definitely gay If he gives birth to two gay sons I think it's like hair loss It skips the generation

So it's like if your grandfather He's actually the straightest man in all the land. So the saddest then. If you have two gay sons, it guarantees that you are plowing down puss. Yeah. And only puss. But he was probably so pumped to get two sons. He was probably like, fuck yeah.

I know. But he probably, knowing him as well as I do, he probably learned to accept it and love it. His one son is now the theater reporter on New York One. That's how gay he is. Come on, really? That's top tier gay. That's as gay as it gets. And then his other son, who is my grade,

who also played Winthrop at our eighth grade dance, he was probably like, let me try out this straight shit. And so we came with a crew neck shirt that just said NFL on it. Oh, that's awesome. Like the Rob Lowe hat. Yeah, he didn't have a team to pick, but he was like, no, I'm straight.

Sports. Yeah, the Kyle Mooney sketch with the jacket with just different balls on it. It was exactly that, but before... Game's on tonight. He was milling about and even then it was like bro we all know dude yeah take that shit off take that shit off and let me see your bare chest are there any gay players in the nfl right now yeah there's like one confirmed colin kaepernick one confirmed yeah

colin kaepernick that's why they blackballed him, because he's gay. Took a knee. Took two. Took a couple. But it was Carl Nassib was gay for a while. Aaron Hernandez, historically. Historically gay. Historically gay. And so I killed all those people.

And then there's the throngs of closeted gays. Talk about outkicking your coverage. I know. It's like, hey, man, nobody cares that much that you're gay. Yeah. You didn't have to kill that guy. of classic gays talk about out kicking your coverage i know they're like hey man nobody cares that much that you're gay yeah you didn't have to kill that guy well was it ever even he never even said he was gay it was the random dude like they just like they just like picked up some random guy who like went to high school with him and he was like oh yeah me and aaron were fucking constantly and as a young boys yeah it was like no one was there to confirm it.

Yeah. They were just like, yeah, let's just roll with that. And then all of a sudden it just turned into this whole he was so tortured from being closeted gay. Yeah. I got to rewatch that. And it was like, oh, no, really? We're done with that whole CTE theory? Because that had some legs.

The fact that he was chain smoking blunts in the off season and then uh mashing his brain into pudding well he was smoking angel dust was it yeah what a legend so he was getting fucking loose because blunts aren't just gonna make you kill but the angel dust will angel dust will make you kill a lot oh yeah we gotta get some have you ever smoked angel dust i have not that's surprising i could see you doing that no i don't really like smoking powders yeah true that's a little sketchy one time a guy was offered me like cigarettes dipped in like cocaine i was like dude i don't think i could do this no it turns into crack yeah that's crack it's free for me there's

a there's a name for that freebasing no the turbo i don't know dipped in coke something it was something i because i probably i did the coke with him yeah and then i thought it made me so it made me like my hands tingle so much that i had to leave the korean restaurant that he and i were at dude when was this why were you doing cocaine at a korean restaurant and then he was offering to like, what kind of Korean restaurant was it? It was like in South Street in Philadelphia. And we were like at the Korean restaurant. He must have been real open about it.

It was like a friend of a friend. No, he went across the street to his apartment, did this coke. This guy's like, he's like, I won't even tell anybody. He was like one of these real cool Koreans. He's like, I won't even tell anybody my connect. I got the best coke in the city. I believe him. It was like, I won't even tell anybody my Kinect. I got the best Coke in the city. I believe him. It was too good.

It was far too good. Because it made my hands feel really weird. I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here. This chili paste? I had that. Whatever that paste that chili is that they have. It was kimchi that we were smoking. What's the Szechuan chili?

But that's not Korean. Makes your mouth tingle. That's Szechuan That Szechuan chili But that's not Korean Makes your mouth tingle That's Szechuan Sure Szechuan sauce But no But there's another There's a Korean one

That you use to make Like steak sauce You can put it in With a little bit of wine Yeah yeah I fucking forget What the paste is But it was truly

It was truly The most violent Cocaine experience I don't love the idea Of going to an Ethnic food restaurant And doing cocaine. I was hanging out

with a lot of swaggy Koreans at this point. Oh. Like I was surrounded with swaggy Koreans. Swaggy Koreans are the swaggiest people on earth right next to Filipinos.

Are Filipinos up there? Because I haven't really... Filipinos, I mean, from my point of view, I will not say that Filipinos have a lot of swag, but they...

Not my style of swag. Not will not say that Filipinos have a lot of swag, but they... Not my style of swag, but they swag out harder than any other race or ethnicity by far. Maybe they have a higher ceiling, but I feel like Koreans have a higher floor of swag. Even the least drippy Korean is swaggier than any white. Japanese are pretty swaggy. They are. Swag is very big in Asian culture right now Like the Filipinos though They're the type of guys to rock like the cookie monster Flat brim

I think you might be wrong about Filipinos That doesn't sound good It's not but for them it is So they're swagged out for themselves You're telling me are they just a decade late They're very late, yes. They rock like Osirises and the flat brims. Like the flattest flat brim of all time.

You know what's ironic is like dressing like... You could do coke off of it at a Korean restaurant. With your bulgogi. But you know what's ironic is like if they had just stayed in the Vietnamese war outfits, those have come all the way around enough where that would be swaggy. If they were all just dressed like soldiers from the Vietnamese war. The Viet Cong.

The Viet Cong uniform is now swaggy. Yeah, the hats. Yeah, the hats. Those hats are very fashionable. What did they wear? Are you talking about the green canvas-y? Yeah, green canvas, baggy with probably a wife beater or some shit like that or like i was talking about the actual vietnam soldiers yeah that's who i'm talking about the vietnam what do you think they

wore like a rice like a big hat yeah i think you're talking about like a rice patty worker who's in the sun all day and i might protect themselves but i would love that i've never been to a rice patty. So there's one on my TV screensaver that every time I see it, I'm like, I've got to get to a patty. They look good. They look good. I need to be at a rice patty. I've always wondered about that. Yesterday.

I've got a question. When you guys go and order a coffee or something like that, are you always honest? Do you ever give them a fake name or anything like that i say frank frank i don't because it's not easier i just don't want to deal with them either fucking it up i don't want them to have to type in a seven letter two syllable name that is funny is that like a big does that frustrate you a lot because the people that i know that happens to it's like they they've been doing the fake name thing for a while and it's like it seems like it honestly has changed their lives.

Like, it's like my buddy Bo, he says his name is Bob. Yeah, it's so much easier probably. Because when he says Bo, they're like, they ask like a thousand questions and they can't figure out how to spell it. And he's like, it doesn't matter how you spell it. Does he spell it B-E-A-U? Yeah. Oh. Yikes.

Like a French boyfriend. Yes. That is gay. It's a little gay Yes Yeah that's a little bit Embarrassing But so So you go by Frank

Only at coffee shops Or Or Ordering a salad Or something It's gotta be tough If you have a very ethnic name Or something like that

That's probably when you just go And you say I'm Tom And then they go You're not Tom You're not fooling anybody. I see you right now. You can't be Tom.

You guys don't even have Tom in your language. There's not even a symbol for Tom. There was a battle rapper. There was like a battle rap event. There's this dude named Arsenal the Rebel. We were at a battle rap event one time. And everybody went to Domino's afterwards and like you're going to put in

your Domino's order I think it was actually even in England or some shit like that and everybody's going into like you put in your order and then it's like okay who's the order for? It's for Adam it's for Frank you know what I mean it's for Bo and they're like what name can we put on the order and he was like

the rebel and they're like what did you we put on the order and he was like the rebel and they're like what did you say he was like the rebel like what did you say and he had to put in like he made them yell out the rebel for his fucking for his dominoes that's crazy dedication to the game

so fucking preposterous but he was around all these other battle rappers he didn't want to say what his like real name was Clarence his real name is Clarence he didn't want to say What his like Real name was Oh yeah Clarence Yeah His real name's Clarence He didn't want people to know His parents had a real good marriage Yeah He made them fucking say

Da rebel Da rebel I can't I can't believe Like And people who work In that industry I'd love to talk to a barista

Like what kind of names They have to say I'd love to talk to The Domino's folks And be like What are people Making you say Yeah dude That shit sounds stressful i mean the language barrier in new york city is very tough it's very hard to deal with i heard in japan that the language barrier

is it's like like nobody speaks english yeah was that your experience i haven't been i'm dying to go i look at the flights all the time. Oh, my God. I got fucked in the rectum recently on travel planning. Do tell. I had been looking at this hotel for this fucking wedding we have to go to and just looking at it, looking at it, looking at it, thinking maybe we're not even going to go. Why? Is that nice?

No, to the wedding. Because it's so expensive? Yeah, and it's far away. But if it's that expensive, the hotel has to be really nice. This is not, there's not a room block situation. There's multiple hotels you could choose from for the wedding. And we're going to go a couple days early and and i want for that time to have to stay at this really nice place and i was looking at it and they were good and then last

night i said all right now we have to pull the trigger and i went back and they were 400 more per night oh is it because like you were searching multiple times it could be like a tuesday dip situation yeah that people say that all the prices for that shit and around midnight on monday and tuesday what is when it's the cheapest for real it's it's all theories i've never had that happen but i will say i mean i've had the thing happen i think this was because i was looking before yes new year's oh and then i waited and then booked in the new year uh that would have been my guess that sucks so bad. Sometimes, though, if you're on the same site

and you open up another window, then their system thinks multiple people are looking. I know. And they do some nasty shit where they drive up the fucking prices. It's crazy. That shit should be illegal. Yeah.

That shit is... We should just have fixed pricing. That shit gets me fired up when you look at a flight and then you come back 30 minutes later and it's $400 more expensive. It almost makes you not want to book it out of spite. Yes. But then you have to.

Speaking of, I sent you a whole bunch of messages about flights we need to book and you didn't respond to a single one of them. No, I saw them. I'm going to do them because I also didn't realize that we're flying on Super Bowl Sunday. Was it home from Denver? Yeah. Yeah, we got to do that. So I got to get back early.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to get the one I got. Yeah. Get on that. What's our move for the Super Bowl? I don't know. Ooh.

Well, we should do it in our building. I think my wife's away. So we could do it at mine. I'm down. That'd be kind of fun. I'm down for anything. We should watch it. I haven't been home for the Super Bowl because last year I was at the Super Bowl. I'm down. That'd be kind of fun. I'm down for anything. We should watch it. I haven't been home for the Super Bowl because last year I was at the Super Bowl.

Aren't you not going to be home this year? No, I fly home on Friday. But for the five years prior, I had to go to the city of a team hoping that they'd win so I could film a video. Maybe six. Actually, the entire time I went up. I did that in Cincinnati. Wow, that's crazy.

That shit sucked. It sucks. So I haven't been able to watch a Super Bowl. I don't know what a Super Bowl commercial looks like. I haven't seen a Super Bowl commercial in like all... This is fun. Because I was watching it at Buffalo Wild Wings in a fucking random ass city. Dude, I have been...

Send Dana Beers to do the fucking man on the street. Yeah, that shit. Get my ass out of the fucking hat. When we did that, that sucked. The name of the hat. We had to watch the Super Bowl in a hotel bar. Yeah, it sucks. And then walk down the street and it was fucking so cold i haven't had a good experience

watching the super bowl since the eagles won the super bowl yeah man this makes me feel good that i'm so poorly of at the company you went to the super bowl last year even if the team that you want didn't win that's the pretty ideal way to watch the super bowl it's still the ideal way to watch the super bowl not your team loses did you would you be willing to uh break the seal on your drinking on the super bowl night no i think that's a really good time no to get back into no i don't even like drinking and watching ball i have to be fully focused that is a the super bowl is actually a fun night to drink for some reason I love drinking on the Super Bowl And I think that would be a really good time

For you to You can spend the night you can crash I'm not gonna first of all if I was to drink I'm not crashing at anyone's place You guys live 10 minutes away from me Why don't you just crash Why would I crash I'm not gonna drink I think between the two of us we'll have a spare bedroom for you

No I'm okay You're not gonna want to figure out a get home You wind up in the two of us, we'll have a spare bedroom for you. No, I'm okay. You're not going to want to figure out how to get home. And then you wind up in the back of a cab fucking throwing up, punching the driver, taking the fucking wheel, and driving into a hot dog stand. Well, hopefully I won't have that issue because I will not be drinking. And you can afford your own lawyer. That is true.

Instead of having a court-appointed public defender. I have been just giddy for football this weekend. What if the Bills make the Super Bowl? Any chance you would fly from Denver to Vegas and go to go to the game no how about come over to our place bills in the super bowl bill's party unless somehow i was invited then yes i would absolutely do that what do you mean invited back the bowl the fuck is going to invite you gabe fucking josh allen maybe i don't know he's talking to me wait yo So last night I was at the fucking Sixers-Nuggets game, and we went in the Nuggets coaches' press conference afterwards,

and the Nuggets media director came up to me, and he was like, check this out. Shows me the background of his phone. It's his kid in a Son of a Boy Dad shirt. Really? He's like, I'm a fucking massive Son of a Boy Dad fan. Massive Lil' sass fan oh shit i met him when i was in denver i talked to him i told him that i had four seats for him in like

the owner's section for the denver nuggets game to come the next night and he said he would and then never even opened up the message and i said that's the most little sass thing I've ever heard. That does sound like something I would do. That's the most little sass. Their whole fucking media staff was like... I actually do recall that. Very clearly. You recall dubbing this very powerful,

friendly guy. Yeah, I do remember him doing that, and I appreciate it, but yeah, I don't know why I wouldn't have done that. I probably just forgot.

Yeah, right. You just said you remember. I remember someone offering me tickets to the Denver Nuggets. It was the Denver Nuggets that were offering you tickets to the Denver Nuggets. It was them. It might as well have been fucking Jamal Murray. I also got offered to play golf where the Masters were. No, you didn't.

Where was the Masters last year? Augusta. Every year it's always for the pga championship thank god if you had been offered to play i was offered to play golf at the p was it in rochester last year uh the pga was when brooks won it last year i think that was yeah upstate new york it was yeah i was offered to play there like a month before that was at what's it called oak hill oak hill yeah some dudes from the pga uh like the staff came and they were all wearing pga stuff and they gave me he gave me his card and said come play tomorrow but instead you masturbate masturbated your dick into a fucking i did not do that

i still have underwear if you want to take it up. I feel like that would be weird if I said, hey man, I know you offered this to my friend. Two years ago. Hairball. He's dead. I found it. I found it in his wallet. And I had to carry on his legacy. He had always said.

He wanted this for me. The one thing he wished he'd done was play it or kill. You give him like a napkin that says Will at the top of it. Can I sprinkle his ashes in the water hazard off 13 this would be very important then i just bring a fake urn both of those things are things that i would do now if they were offered to me yeah i still because it was probably because i was in rochester and i was new to headlining i probably blacked out and woke up at fucking 3 p.m. the next day and was like, there's no way I'm going golfing today. Yeah, you're a big no guy.

Yeah, you love that word. That's your operative word. But also in basketball, to be fully honest, I probably still wouldn't do that. I'm not a big basketball fan. How many games have you been to this year? Dozen. Wow. Do you sit courtside? How many games have you been to this year? A dozen. Wow.

Do you sit courtside? No. Just the one with Dave, I sat actually front row courtside. Other ones I've sat close, like third row. I mean, last night I sat at the Phantom of the Opera. I was literally in the fucking rafters of the stadium. Yeah, that was hilarious. As fucking rafters of the stadium. And I enjoyed it as much as any watching experience.

So, I have a turn 200 into 5 grand betting thing that I'm doing this weekend. If you boys want to hop on. Yeah, I'd like that. But, so, pretty much it's $200 on Gus Edwards and Debo Samuel to score a

touchdown on Saturday. And then that's going to pay out $700, not including the $200 that we already put on it. So $900. And then $900 will be going on. Wait. If you put $200 on it... To win $700.

Yeah, doesn't that usually include... No. Oh, you're saying you'd profit You'd profit 700 And then get your 900 And then you'd have 900 including the 200 And then we're putting that on I haven't decided yet

Because I did have Dalton, Kincaid And then who's playing the early game The Lions against the Bucks I think I had Dalton, Kincaid and Gibbs to score Jameer Gibbs. And that would pay out $5,300. The only problem is... Wow, what an

opportunity. Yes. This is amazing. I didn't know they offered things like this. I'm just telling you guys, don't... The thing is, me and Mook put this together. Well, I put it together and Mook is on board with it. The problem is we both were like, there's a good chance that if the first bet hits i will not be placing a 900 bet on the second day i'll i'll just ride along yeah but also this is definitely gonna put 200 on because i don't i

only want one bet for each day i don't like having like a last sunday i had so many bets and it just got too complicated i want one bet one big bet This is the kind of thing That like Tout sharps Who have early morning AM radio shows On Sunday say Like this is the type

Of where they're like Like you want Some extra money For the holidays Like you take this Five hundred dollars In six easy bets You could turn it

Into fifty thousand dollars Yeah Bro I'm on a hot streak I was hitting Anytime touchdown scores I was betting them straight. This weekend, I was hitting everything. So I could take $400 and turn it into

$10,000. The first three... Yeah. Yeah. I could put $800 down and turn it into $20,000 with your plan. Bro, yeah. Feel free. I could put down $1,600 and make $40,000 on your plan. Bro, I'm telling you, feel free. Is that... All of that's possible? All of this is possible. $1,600, turn it into $40,000 on your plan. Bro, I'm telling you, feel free. Is that, all of that's possible?

All of this is possible. $1,600 turned into $40,000. With my plan, anything is possible. You make a down payment on a house, you get your family out of all the problems you've been having. Call your wife, tell her to bring out the red panties. I have the highest credit card balance

I've ever had right now on my credit card. All right, bro. Call Amex. Tell them it's over. Damn. That's ridiculous. My credit card is not even able to go that high. Really bad.

What is that? All this fucking Italy shit. That's from Italy? Flights and hotels. Oh, but you probably just got diamond status for next year on that alone. No, not even. So do we like that? Do we like...

I love Deebo Samuel to score. I love that bet. Do I love Gus Edwards, though? That's the question. He has 12 touchdowns in like 600 yards this year. And they play the Texans? Oh, bro, that's curtains. That's easy.

That's curtains. So that's automatic. That's easy money. Ooh, CJ Stroud, though. Yeah, but defense. Texans' defense isn't too strong. Okay. They're not going to be stopping the ruthless Ravens offense.

This is good talking ball. It is. So all I'm saying is that is my bet for Saturday. Follow along if you want. And then Kincaid and Gibbs? I haven't decided. We will be releasing that later in the week. Bet responsibly. These are really the week. Bet responsibly.

These are really dumb bets. Bet irresponsibly. These are strong bets. Put everything on them. We don't like this. It's not irresponsible is what you're saying. We don't like this. These are such guaranteed mortal locks.

These are guaranteed mortal locks. We're getting to the end of the season. Throw the mortgage on it. Wow. We'll get Francis out of it. We're going to put that minus whatever in your account to a positive whatever in your account. Francis, we're going to fix that. I could use that.

We'll flip-flop it the entire other way. The problem is if we win money, I'm going to go buy more wine. Brother, do whatever you want. I'm buying a lot of wine right now. Do whatever you want. I'm on the wine. You know what you should do? Buy the wine now.

That's how confident I am. I got a whole ton. I got a whole ton. There's an auction. There's an auction. Buy the wine now, and we'll get you your money on Saturday evening. I had two incredible fucking bottles of wine this week, or glasses from bottles. Oh, my God, dude.

One was at 11 Madison Park. Jesus Christ. Incredible bottle of wine. Do you remember what it was called? I took a picture of it. Oh, baby. Talk dirty to me, daddy. Do you do the wine pairings when you go to a fancy restaurant like that?

With that one, I did. Yeah. Because I was like, I want to go for the fucking wine. Do you go for the regular or do you go for the reserve? I went for this one. I went for the reserve. Jesus Christ. Must be nice.

I went for the reserve. Do you know how expensive that is? No. And to be honest, I don't really care at all. I went for the Reserve. Jesus Christ. Must be nice. I went for the Reserve. Do you know how expensive that is? No. To be honest, I don't really care at all. I've never liked wine. You're a piece of shit. Way to be enthusiastic for your friends. No, I'm happy for Roan, obviously.

No, you aren't. I'm always happy for Roan. If I had told you. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I go, I'm so goddamn happy for Roan. A Bianco Seco Cadele Merlot. Was that a Merlot? Not Merlot with a T, though. 2022.

That's the same thing. It's just that... Oh, that's a pricey bottle. Oh, this is Quintarelli. Quintarelli. So Quintarelli is the producer, and he is renowned, famous. It was incredible. The green labels.

This is sick. And you know who's a huge fan of this wine? Who? LeBron James. Wow. Maybe you should buy him a bottle. He's like a big time wine guy. Damn, bro.

Oinophiliac? Oinophiliac? I went wine shopping with Francis once. And I was almost certain that the owner of the shop thought that I and Francis were a gay couple. Because it was just Francis walking around looking at the wine. Or maybe I was like your younger brother or your son. We were going from Societies to The Stand and we stopped on the way. Oh, I forgot about that.

And it was pretty much, it reminded me of when I used to go into an expensive store with my mother as a child. And she'd be like, put your hands in your pockets. Don't touch anything. And I just had to stand and follow Francis around. Sorry I made you do that. That's not bad. No, no. It was because I could see him like fucking like pulling out a yo-yo and fucking like

bundling through like $20,000 worth of wine. I was scared to touch stuff, dude. But liquor stores have always scared me like that because that shit is so expensive and it's so fragile. It's fragile, yeah. It's glass bottles stacked. The scene in Borat where he goes into the Civil War kind of like Confederate antique store

and breaks every single thing in there. That was the hardest I've laughed. And the couple watching, they're not even mad, they're old. And they're just like, you're going to pay for all of that. And he did. Yeah, but he did.

And it's worth the scene. They probably had, you know, 150 grand in the budget for that. I don't know. At what point is it not worth the scene though? At one point is it something that's like so rare and expensive that you break it and even if you pay for that you just destroyed something?

You went into the Louvre and did that. How could they even have the inventory? How could they even know how much everything was and everything that was broken? They probably have to go through and put the glass pieces together. Yeah, that had to be so painstaking. Have you ever been in an overstuffed antique store?

Yes. Where, like, the only inventory is a guy who has a binder with, like, yellow pages. And he's like, let's see what that's worth. And he fucking goes to page 700. Dude, antique stores are my fucking hell. Really? My wife loves them. Dude, that's what my mom used to always go to antique stores and just look around.

It's just shit and it would be like i would be like bumping into big ass fucking pottery pieces yeah they'd be like tipping close coming close to tipping yeah that's a fucking terrible smell like death i hate the smell i hate the smell of old shit i hate the smell of libraries i hate the smell i don't mind that's goodwill stores You mean the dead skin that's residing Between the pages of every book You like that? You're a necrophiliac That's dead cells

You're aroused by the smells of dead skin No it's just like a homey smell What? No it's not My home smells like candles What? I didn't hear what he said My home smells like candles. What? What? I didn't hear what he said. My home smells like a warm roast or candles.

That's what a homey smell is. Define the smell of a warm roast. A roast bubbling underneath the stove? Garlic. Chicken stock. You just constantly have a roast going in your house? Meat. Yeah.

We have a great plug-in that smells like a roast. It smells like the hall when you return home from a quest yeah that's yeah that's nice i haven't been going on nearly enough quests lately have you been leaving much my house i have yes i was worried i've been getting out no you haven't i have you don't have to fucking lie you know the word hall comes from a great hall and it's just shrunk down over time to like a hallway, but it used to be the great hall that you walk into, and throughout time there's been these ancillary rooms

that pop off the sides. A little etymology for your bitch ass. I didn't know that. That's good. I like that. I knew you were into it. I saw his eyes glazing over. I saw his little sass fucking falling asleep in front of me.

My arm is very sore because i went to the gym yesterday all right i'm not gonna make fun of that i lifted but it's just like dude it's i can't go again today i'm too sore you need to start slower i'm gonna go i'm gonna go on a walk after you guys leave you know what they say emotion is lotion are you at the stand tonight i'm not damn that's No spots until Friday What do we got tomorrow night boys? The wife's out of town I ain't got dick

I'm not doing shit Alright let's go fucking Let's paint the town then Paint the town Let's get a nice dinner Let's paint the town red Boys dinner No alcohol for you

But a nice dinner Yeah a nice diet coke They don't have diet cokes At the type of restaurants I go to But they do i went to the strip house the other night with my manager and agent and we got diet cokes in bottles damn mexicans very fancy the real sugar very fancy pretty nice it was a long dinner we were

there for two and a half hours and you didn't have any alcohol no and you talked the whole time they definitely like took that out of your pay. Were there lulls? Who paid, by the way? Did they split it? Yeah, I think. Interesting. No, they definitely took it out of your fucking money. I didn't reach for the card, that's for sure.

No, I knew that. Because you're already paying them. They made me take my hat off, which I hated. You wore that to a really nice steakhouse? Well, I didn't know it was a really nice steakhouse. Did you wear sweatpants? No. So you knew sweatpants? No. So you knew well enough to wear nice pants.

Well, I don't wear sweatpants out of the house ever. Oh. What about for your walk later? No, I'll put khakis on. Really? Yeah. I don't like wearing sweatpants out of the house. Also, I find that sweatpants aren't even that warm

in the winter because there's no... I need some warm pants in the winter. what do you wear through what's the right thing to wear when i go fishing i wear khakis under my waders you guys have like insulated pants you need something better for a day like today it's cold bro fucking biked to work today i biked over the manhattan bridge yeah it was fucking violently cold motion is lotion bro i i'm on a i'm on a 30 30 30 right now really with when i wake up in the morning uh within 30 minutes i have 30 grams of protein and do at least a 30 minute workout it's been more like 90 that sounds like hell why dude i need to work out in the morning i need at least two hours in bed before i get up why i'll wake up at eight and i'll get out at ten to scroll you sound paralyzed that actually explains a ton dude getting out of bed getting

out of bed 30 minutes after waking up is so bad no it's not motions lotion you do that on the weekends though on the weekends i'm up and out instantly motion is lotion you want to soak in all that weekend time did Did you have to get a new gym membership? No, I still have one. I've just been paying it the whole time. Oh my God.

Yeah. No wonder you're in debt. This is crazy. So the gym that I go to, it's supposed to be like a nice gym. It's a luxury gym. Which one?

It's called Gym Temple. Like they all are in New York, but it's not. It's very, it's really not. You tunnel into that thing? It's just as bad. It's just as good as as blank is i think i've said that before but dude they finally they added a sauna in the gym and the sauna is in between the men's locker room and

the girls locker room and it's a glass window and it's it you go downstairs and then it's right there in between the two doors so if you want to go in the sauna you have to sit there and stare out into the people going in and out of the out of the locker rooms it's like the worst placement of all time for sauna zero pride and your ass is definitely in there fully clothed yeah dude jeans Dude, jeans on. Sweating through your jeans. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's tough. Like, that would be like, dude, like, there's like girls

going in and out of the locker room and you're just sitting there just sweating. With your legs together. Yeah. That's crazy. There's no way girls are like, I wouldn't fuck him now.

Oh, are you wearing a shirt and shorts? I haven't gone in the sauna. I went to the gym once. I'm not at a sauna point yet. But you know lot about it well because it's right there folks go to the sauna now and like more than like the gym like sauna like sauna cold plunge are so popular that like they make it seem like that's all you need to do to get into shape this cold plunge shit is getting out of control i'm glad you guys brought this up. I'm getting one. Of course. Are you actually?

I'm not. For Upstate or for the apartment? I'm not even being a Joe Rogan kind of... Acolyte? Yeah, exactly. I'm not trying to be a sycophant here, but I have done it after a workout, and it's so bizarre how much less pain I'm in the next day where i'm like well then

fuck i guess this does work it just works and i've never found anything else because i'm in pain all the time and so i messaged taylor lejuan and i said hey man uh which tub should i get and he goes uh you should get this one that i got and uh i'm gonna last thing i'll say is that i've been doing a cold plunge every day for the last 47 days and i'm not obsessed he's not and then i wrote so you don't recommend that i get one and he goes what are you talking about i can't speak more highly of it and i said what is happening right now so he is obsessed or he's not he he is obsessed but he wrote the antonym of what he meant to say oh wow i was like that doesn't make any sense yeah i know he just accidentally said not yeah but the one i he got one that you it's like a barrel and he's six foot

eight and i'm like is this can you fit in this fucking thing and he goes it's you know it only comes up to my shoulders or whatever are you gonna have that are you gonna use that in your fucking upstate oh yeah that makes way more sense yeah i just don't get it that's what everybody says who's never done it but it's like it now. You need to have pain. I have pain right now. And you need to exercise. But I'll just take an Advil. And then you need to do it and compare it to when you didn't and

unfortunately it works. More than anything I've ever experienced. I think I'm just going to stick to stretching and Advil. Yeah, I'm sure you stretch a lot. I do. Stretch more than your old ass. No, you definitely don't. I do. Stretch more than your old ass? No, you definitely don't. I guarantee you don't.

You're brittle. You guys need the fucking cold plunges because your bones are deteriorating. I have no cartilage. My spine is just like books stacked on top of each other. But it makes your back feel better? Back. So you do it right after the workout? Back knees right after. See, I haven't done it.

Because I've heard conflicting things about doing it right after but I should do it right after. I'm not even going to read up on it. I'm just going to do what I've done and I'm going to buy it and I don't care.

I would pay anything for this thing. Why not just use a bathtub like what Roan does? And haul 13 gigantic party bags of ice from the bodega in? Roan freezes

Ziploc bags of water. Yeah, I freeze gallon bags in my freezer but it's probably not enough. Our freezer's not big in i i don't freeze a ziploc bag yeah i freeze gallon bags in my freezer but it's probably not big enough we don't have a big enough freezer to create ice on a daily basis for me to take a daily ice bath it's not as it's probably not mine is probably not as cold but i just i make do with as much ice as i can put in there so what is like the idea do you want it to get as cold as possible do you want it at like negative 100 degrees the typical one is the cold of your ice bath the more of a man you are yes do you do you like meditate when you're like how long are you going in this four minutes four minutes i try to get to 10 but i think i'm doing not as cold as him no i bet you're doing this is the dumbest thing i've ever heard in my entire life. I apologize.

But I truly, like, this is... I'm not doing it because I want to seem smart. This is insane. I'm doing it because it feels better. No, you've been doing it for a while. Yeah, I'm not telling anyone else to do it. I don't want you to do it. I truly don't get it. I don't think it would work for you.

I'll do it. How about I try one? No, I don't... Forget it. Like, I can't even do the cold showers. You're not welcome. Because I'm just like, I can't... It's not that I can't do it.

I just can't get over, like, the... Like, well, I'd rather just take a warm shower. I hate the cold showers. I just don't... not that I can't do it. I just can't get over like, well, I'd rather just take a warm shower. I hate the cold showers. I just don't. Yeah, I don't get it. I hate them. Is it like it wakes you up more in the morning? KB says it's this pleasure.

KB does jumping squats in the shower while the cold shower is on him. Come on. Swear to God. Was he wearing shoes? No, he's ass naked. He's ass naked. That sounds so dangerous. Probably. Does that add to it? He has perfectly flat feet, though. to god was he wearing shoes no he's ass naked he's ass naked that sounds so dangerous probably

he's flat perfectly flat feet though if you put a level underneath his feet that bubble would be does he have deck tape on the bottom of his feet deck tape on the bottom of his feet too which is his other thing that makes it way easier this reminds me of that like workout in the 80s where they thought that you would lose weight if they just like if you went in that thing and it just shook you it just like shook your fat around yeah yeah the band or they also used to have like an ab belt yeah which would you'd like strap a belt on and it would just like yeah the one that shocked you yeah yeah it'd be like simulating the muscle contractions of a sit-up or some shit like that people really thought that you could burn fat because like some chiseled infomercial model was just,

it worked for me. Twitter's been all over those ads. Have you seen that? Uh-uh. There's been that dude who's been doing the ads forever. Because I remember I used to always see his videos

and they would be like, they would be like, I eat cheeseburgers and pizza every day and I'm still losing weight constantly. And now the community notes under his videos just says, this is a scam losing weight constantly and now community notes under his videos just says this is a scam good yeah all the community notes are fucking the community notes are getting savage oh yeah this is not how this game is played this is an ad for the only

fan tour yeah you think man you think this woman is actually just bringing her man some fucking freshly cooked steak with her titties out? No, no, no. This is an ad. Don't be fooled, man. This is impossible. This is an unattainable goal. The OnlyFans ads on Twitter are so funny because they try so hard to beat around the fact that it is a porn website.

They're like, come see Riley Reid cook on OnlyFans. Like she's doing cooking classes she's cooking sausage yeah and it's like yeah that's slow cooking sausage inside of herself yeah they did like an old they did one a couple years ago i remember all the only fans people were like furious because they listed off like things that people do on only fans and it was like magic magicians are bigger than ever on on only fans like uh like live streaming podcasts and they just never said porn they'll make the salami disappear didn't somebody didn't somebody put out a having people done comedy specials on there well whitney cummings did she did she did like

a roast or some shit on there well i don't know wasn't the roast of bert i think the roast of bert was on there i'm sure it's I don't think they're doing that On purpose I'm sure OnlyFans Is like we'll pay you Two million dollars If you put a special out On OnlyFans

Remember when Barstool was like We're gonna start putting shit On OnlyFans Yeah it was Gaz It was a Gaz idea Gaz and Chuck I think too Yeah They were like OnlyFans

Is bigger than ever It's gonna be huge All Barstool content Used to be on OnlyFans I was at a club this past week A guy walked in with 50 women with him Yeah that's what it was All OnlyFans We need to get on this Yeah in with 50 women with him. All OnlyFans.

We need to get on this. I want 50 women with me at the club. They were trying to do barstool behind the scenes shit on OnlyFans. Right. They're like, who's going to pay a fucking premium to see even Joey and Pat. People will probably watch them because there's a chance of seeing some penis or

some actual gay shit going on. They're offering Clemmer and fucking Vibs like sitting at their desk. Yo! I'm paying fucking $7.99 a month for this shit. Where else could I get this? Man, I'm hot. Yeah, it's very warm.

Heats up quick when you get three fucking killers in here. All right. Well, we've been going for a long time. Yeah. Unfortunately, the number of people watching just keeps on going up. I know. What is it at now?

I don't know, because this freaking thing. 1,200? Damn, bro. We could leave on a high note. Yeah, let's leave on a high note. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for rocking with HQ4. Next week, we are going to be in HQ5.

HQ3, unfortunately. We will be taking a step backwards. Yeah, backsliding. But if it goes poorly, if you guys don't show out in fucking massive numbers... We'll be right back to HQ4. Which Sash will probably sabotage on purpose to make be right back to hq4 which sass will probably sabotage on purpose to make us come back to his apartment because this boy does not want to leave

even though he knows that motion is lotion motion is lotion guys motion is lotion all right thank you guys all for watching and listening hope you guys enjoyed the stream make sure you subscribe oh i'm gonna be in pittsburgh next weekend do we have ads no we don't i'm gonna be in Pittsburgh next weekend. Do we have ads? No, we don't. I'm going to be in Pittsburgh next weekend at the Improv. You can get tickets for that at lilsasquatchwebsite.com. I'm also going to be in Houston the week after that, also at the Improv. And then Francis and I are going to be in Denver. The tickets for that are going fast.

You can get those tickets at lilsasquatchwebsite.com or francisellis.com. And then Albany, New York the weekend after that. Do some recon in Denver for me. I got a bachelor party coming up out there. Most tings per capita. Most what? Tings. Most tings per capita.

What are tings? All right. We'll end on that. You're such a fucking douche. See you guys. Bruh. Goodbye. Bye. What are tings?

I think it's just like... Women. Women. Oh. Isn't that Drake? Did he say that? I don't know. I need a night ting.

What a ting. Oh.